Hello everypony, it is your beloved Supreme Dictator Celestia again and do I have a treat for you, Fall Weather Friends as I saw it.

One thing I would like to know is what the hell is up with the weather in Ponyville? Just two weeks ago they were wrapping up winter and now here it is fall. I am surprised that they are able to produce any food down there at all. I am thinking it is time to fire the pegasi that control the weather down there and simply hire a unicorn mage to handle the weather there. Of course the big problem with that is that they would need to be trained and the last time unicorn mages were trained to handle the weather was when Starswirl the Bearded was alive. However, if it means having normal seasons across Equestria, I'm up for training them. The pensions we have to pay those pegasi are bankrupting the country anyway.

I tell you, watching Applejack and Rainbow compete is always quite entertaining given their competitive nature. Of course both of them think they are the best at everything which is rather annoying because everypony knows that I am the best at everything! When it comes to horseshoes between those two, Applejack proves that she is better. Well come on, everypony already knew that. Watching Rainbow sulk and act like a whiny bitch over losing is hilarious. If she weren't such a tomboy, I would fly down there and make her feel better, but once I got there I know either Fluttershy or Twilight would wind up seducing me. Besides, those two are so much sexier than Rainbow, especially Fluttershy.

Alright you two, I get it. The horseshoes competition isn't enough. You have to prove who is the overall better athlete by setting up all sorts of competitions, an Iron Pony competition. I am so thankful that I have this telescope to monitor Ponyville. After all, how could I not keep my eyes on the oh so sexy Fluttershy and Twilight. Today however, I shall keep it on the two most competitive ponies out there.

I'm going to be honest with all of you, I have a feeling that this competition will turn nasty early, perhaps in the beginning. I say this because while both are extremely competitive, Rainbow is much more likely to cheat. After all, Applejack is the element of honesty, so she would never cheat.

I was shocked to see that after the first ten events, that they were even at five a piece but what shocked me even more was that Rainbow hadn't tried to cheat yet. But of course that would change all too soon when Rainbow realized that the upcoming events would favor Applejack. I really don't know why they didn't disqualify Rainbow after she started using her wing power to win these events. This is why when those two agreed to this "Iron Pony" competition, they should have drawn up an agreement that Rainbow is not allowed to use her wings in any of these events. Of course the overly trusting Applejack never thought of this and Twilight, the judge, was probably fantasizing over her next visit to see me to think about it.

Well event number twenty comes along and Applejack's chances to win had already been eradicated long ago but she wasn't going to give up. I am guessing that had Rainbow been the one in that situation, the moment Applejack had victory number eleven she would have thrown a fit and quit like the spoiled brat that she is. Well it looks like Applejack was going to come out on top when Rainbow, being the cheating bitch that she is, just had to use her wings. It is a good thing that Luna did not see Rainbow get away with all this cheating. She would have flown down there and banished her sorry ass to Tartarus. Hell she probably would have banished Twilight to the sun for not disqualifying Rainbow, you know how highly Luna thinks of the Apple Family and earth ponies in general.

Well Rainbow's cheating ass winds up winning and of course all the pegasi are wanting to eat her pussy. Yes she is one of their kind but did they not see what a disgrace she is, what a cheating bitch she is? Now they shall compete in The Running of the Leaves. I am glad to see that Rainbow is agreeing to a condition that she is not allowed to use her wings. I do have a bad feeling though that she will find one way or another to cheat. You know how she is when she loses. She is worse than a spoiled rich brat not getting what it wants, ugh it makes me want to vomit.

The day has come, the day to shake those leaves off the trees has finally arrived. This is another inconvenience that Luna and I forced upon the ponies of this land when we decided we wanted to control every aspect of life in this country. I wonder how many ponies even know that the sun and moon used to move on their own, that pegasi were not needed to control the weather and that the leaves used to fall off the trees on their own? I am guessing that there are very few that do.

I have come to the conclusion that Spike is an attention whore. First he had to do the announcing for the Iron Pony competition, which really didn't need any commentary. He could have just summed it up at the end and said, "Rainbow's a cheating, knifing bitch" and it would have been sufficient. Now he wants to do the commentary for The Running of the Leaves. One thing he seems to forget is that he has no way to actually watch the whole race. Well it looks like that problem will soon be solved as Pinkie decides to be the element of generosity and offer Spike a job as a co-reporter. I truly feel for all the ponies that have to listen to that commentary. Pinkie is a bad enough reporter but throwing Spike in the mix will only make matters worse.

Well here comes Applejack and the Iron Phony, as Applejack calls her. I am so glad that Rainbow said that she could win with her wings tied behind her back because this caused Applejack to do that to Rainbow. Now the race will at least have a chance of being fair but what will happen next will shock not just me, but the overly competitive ponies as well.

Well my mind is officially blown. Twilight decides to be a late entry into the race. Yep, the oh so sexy Twily has decided to give it a go. I know she is down there to learn but I didn't expect her to take part in events that she has absolutely no chance of doing well in. Hopefully she won't wear herself out by taking part in this. I don't want her to be overly fatigued when we spend some time together this weekend, after all, she is so much more fun when she is feisty and full of energy. If she is dead tired it won't be any fun. Besides, who wants to screw someone who is just laying there. I was reading one of Lyra's human books and in there it said something about that scenario being called a "dead fuck." Who the hell wants to fuck something dead or something that resembles something dead? Not me, that's for sure.

Well the race actually started off rather boring. I was hoping that Applejack and Rainbow would have started trying to trip one another right at the very start. What I would like to know is why the hell don't they clear the path of obstacles before holding this race? Not everypony is going to run with their heads down. I mention this because Applejack trips over a rock. I find it hilarious how she thinks Rainbow tripped her. Of course rather than continuing on, my little Twily stops to try and reason with her. Oh well, I don't care if Twilight finishes dead last. As long as she can "perform her duties" this weekend, I will be happy.

What at first looked like was going to be a boring race might actually be worth watching after all, and not just because I get to see Twilight's ass shake as she runs either. Applejack has caught up with Rainbow and has now taken the lead! Just like Applejack, Rainbow trips over something, a tree stump. What I would like to know is why the hell they would not rip up a tree stump, especially with it being in the middle of the path. It is a good thing Rainbow did not hurt herself because had she done so, she could have sued me since this is a government sanctioned event. Don't worry everypony, next year I will make sure that the path is clear of all debris before allowing the race to start.

I swear, Twilight must not be all that bright despite having claimed to read numerous books on the subject of racing. If she had an ounce of brains, she would have just kept running instead of stopping to talk to Rainbow. I want her to still be well rested for our tryst this weekend but I don't think she needs to stop entirely to check on another runner, especially Rainbow. She can take care of herself.

So now Rainbow thinks the time has come to change the rules despite my Twily telling her that Applejack did not trip her does she? Now this is going to turn into the fun race that I devoted some of my time to watch.

Now the cheating has begun as Rainbow pulls a tree branch back to where it would smack Applejack and knock her to the ground. Alright, that's it. I'm flying to the finish line and after this race is done, I'm going to punish Rainbow one way or another over this. It is a good thing Luna didn't see this or Rainbow would be dead within the hour.

Alright, back to where I was. Some ponies say that Applejack isn't that bright because she is a farm pony, well she proved that wrong. I don't know how she did it, but she flung herself forward with that tree branch and soared past the cheater. Now this is more like it. I know Applejack is the element of honesty but this scenario warrants the measures she is using. Yes it is technically cheating but I don't care. Any advantage she can get will be fine in my eyes.

Now what Applejack does next really defeats the purpose. I would think she would know that those bees from that hive she kicked down would chase after Rainbow, causing her to run faster. Well now Rainbow has a sizable lead and has hid from the bees. Yeah it pisses me off that she does this but it is brilliant. She changes the direction that the arrow on the sign is pointing and hides. Of course Applejack follows the sign even though it leads her to where there are no trees. Ugh I wanted to go and bitch slap Rainbow when she did this. I would have to say that out of Twilight's friends, she is my least favorite. She is a loudmouth and she is a narcissistic bitch.

Yes I know what Applejack does next is cheating as well but hey, why not? Getting a lift with Pinkie and Spike seems fine to me. Rainbow cheated and to me, this is where two wrongs make a right. What I would like to know is why the hell there are buckets full of some sticky liquid attached to the trees along the race's path. Well Applejack kicks one of these buckets over onto the path and Rainbow gets stuck in this shit. What really surprises me is that none of the other racers got caught in it. Well Rainbow uses the stuff to her advantage and soars past Applejack.

Of course this gave Applejack her own forward momentum but eventually the two crashed into a cliff. I love Twilight's comment as she runs past them, "Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running?"

Well the two finally realize this and decide to actually run! Now their tactics will change from trickery to using force in their attempts. I love the tail biting! Unfortunately Applejack winds up untying the rope holding Rainbow's wings down. Now that bitch decides she will just fly. I suppose she figures that since she won't win the traditional way, she'll just win by flying. This is where Luna's favorite of Twilight's friends truly shines. How the hell she jumps so high she can tackle Rainbow is beyond me. By this time I was already hiding in the bushes watching those two wrestle one another towards the finish line.

Finally those two cross the line and they think they won, but they were wrong. Pinkie lets them know they tied for LAST! While the looks on their face were priceless, what was really priceless was my sexy little Twily approaching them with a medal around her neck. I'm so proud! I might even let her dominate me this weekend I'm so proud of her.

Well I was thinking that until she admitted to only taking fifth. While I am happy that she finished far up enough that she won a medal, I am now wondering why in the hell they would give a medal to a pony who only takes fifth? What the hell is that thing made of, spray painted aluminum? I remember the good old days when you had to finish in the top three to win a medal. Oh well, at least Twilight will have something to hang in her bedroom that says, "Look at me, I'm hot shit now! I'll beat anypony in a race!" Twilight very well could have taken first had she not stopped to talk to Applejack and Rainbow when they tripped. Let that be a lesson to everypony, NEVER stop in the middle of a race unless you break your leg or have a heart attack.

Well Applejack and Rainbow are at a loss as to how Twilight beat them. Twilight, in her "I'm hot shit" voice lets her friends know that it was by pacing herself, something she learned about in books, is how she beat them. I suppose her nerdy ways actually helped her out in an athletic competition, which I didn't expect.

Well I finally decide to make my presence known and I loved seeing all those ponies bow down to me. That's right bitches! You better bow down to your Supreme Dictator if you know what's good for you. Now for the poor sports, I notify them that because of their idiotic behavior that they didn't do their job. What was said in the show was edited. What I really said to them was, "Look bitches, because of your fucking horseplay and cheating, the damn leaves didn't get knocked off. Now go clear those trees of their leaves OR ELSE!"

What they took from the "or else" part I'm not sure but I personally don't give a shit. What matters is that they clear the trees of those leaves.

Now for what happened after the show. I was so proud of Twilight that I took her up to Canterlot and locked us in my sleeping chambers. I certainly kept her busy and despite having to listen to us squeal and moan for six days straight, Luna enjoyed taking on my responsibilities. Yeah she nearly started a war with Saddle Arabia over a trade agreement but in the end they backed down and caved in when she banished one of their diplomats to the sun.

Note to self: Do not let Luna handle trade negotiations on her own from now on.