Hello everypony, this is your Supreme Dictator and Beloved Sun Goddess again! Next up on my commentary list is Winter Wrap Up!

The first thing I would like to know is why the hell was Twilight so excited to get up and start this thing. With as excited as she was you'd think she was coming up here to have some hot, raunchy fun with me. Perhaps that town is starting to rub off on her since she is getting excited over boring shit like that. Something that boring would not interest me in the slightest. I would have just faked an illness, said "screw it," peeked out the window every now and then and laugh my ass off when they were fucking everything up royally.

Well Twilight gets up and goes outside. Well for starters, it is still dark. She is obviously way too excited for this backwards, antiquated activity. Secondly, the ground is still dry and everything looks like it would on a normal summer night. So Twilight goes back in and gets a bit more rest.

A few hours pass and all of a sudden winter has arrived in Ponyville. In just a few hours everything has went from lively and cheery to horrible and gloomy. Pegasus shit (aka snow) now covers the whole town, the birds must have teleported themselves far off to the south, the lakes are frozen over and all the animals that were playful and active the day before are now comatose and holed up in their burrows. What is even funnier is that Twilight arrives LATE for the meeting for this event that she was so excited about. I guess her dreaming about me giving it to her rough kept her in late.

The dingbat mayor stands up there giving an inspirational speech. Yeah, like that will do any good. She's gave the same crappy ass speech every year since she took office and you know what? It never works, they always fuck up along the line somewhere and are always at least a day or two late getting winter wrapped up. Maybe they should start their winter wrap up a week before the equinox so maybe, just maybe, their spring will be on time.

Well after the mayor finishes yapping and everypony heads off to start this, they break into the greatest musical number I have ever heard, even though it's been a while since they did it, I still have it in my head.."Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up!" Twilight wonders where she fits in in this event. Here is the thing, she DOESN'T fit anywhere in this event. She should have just let them bungle their way through this, came up to Canterlot and readied me for when I had to change the season the next day. I always did better changing the seasons after having some fun with her.

I have come to the conclusion that the birds in Ponyville are extremely stupid. They have to have ponies make their nests for them! Can you believe it? The birds in the Everfree Forest don't need their nests made for them but then again everything runs normally in there. But then again the forest doesn't operate like the rest of Equestria. Ugh, once again I am kicking myself for not listening to Luna when she told me that casting a spell to where ponies would have to control everything would make things so difficult.

Alright, Twilight first decides that she will help Rarity, the town nest maker. Wait a minute, the town needs lots of nests and they only have one pony doing it? If she were allowed to use her magic I could see it but forcing one pony to make lots of nests the old fashioned way is ridiculous. How about we do things the really old fashioned way, have the dumb fucks make their own nests!

I would think Rarity would be trying to get these damn things done given how many she has to make but oh no, she has to take forever and a half just to make sure every nest is just perfect. Let me guess, after they get winter wrapped up she will make slutty outfits for them as well. Twilight sees how Rarity made her nest and gives it a shot. She tries to make it look the exact same as Rarity's but she fails miserably. I would think a pony as smart as Twilight would make them simple and practical, oh wait, I'm thinking of Applejack. Always the smart ass, Spike claims that the nest Twilight made could be used for an outhouse. He obviously said that because he wants to get in Rarity's coat. I'm betting had anypony else made the fancy nest that Twilight couldn't duplicate, he wouldn't have made that snide remark.

Well when Rarity got busy trying to fix Twilight's outhouse nest, Twilight and her glorified pet head off to make somepony else's job a lot harder. Now here we have Pinkie Pie, the pony responsible for scoring the lakes. What? Score the lakes? Why don't they just get a few ponies to go out there with axes and shatter that ice into slush? Or better yet, have Spike melt the ice with his fire breath? It would make life easier and be much more efficient. Why won't they do it though? They won't do it because it makes sense and Faust forbid they do something that makes sense.

I tell you, Pinkie is great on those skates but the way she is doing it is NOT that effective. Going out there like a damn figure skater and doing all those fancy moves won't get the lake scored. It is just showing off your useless skating skills. Well my little Twily gets the skates on and gives it a shot. Well one thing is obvious, she is definitely not as good on skates as she is in bed. Well very quickly she loses interest and trying to help Pinkie out with this thankless task so now it is time to move on.

I'm going to let you guys in on a secret. You may already know it but I think Fluttershy cares way too much about those animals and not enough about me. If she put forth as much effort in keeping me happy as she does in waking those fucking animals, I may not be quite the bitch that I am. Oh yes, real bright Fluttershy. There are hundreds of nests and yet there you are alone, ringing a bell trying to wake them up, one den at a time. Why can't you be up here ringing my bell instead?

Well Twilight sees some of the little furballs that Fluttershy has woken up and decides she wants to help get these little beasts up and running before the pegasi melt the snow. Instead of firing a powerful bolt of energy into that hill and waking them all up at once, she uses the same slow, time consuming and antiquated method that Fluttershy uses.

I have learned another thing about Twilight that I didn't know about. She is as stupid as those cows down there are. The snakes come out of their den and suddenly you have a one pony stampede waking other critters up as well. In her terrified state she winds up getting a bee hive stuck on her head and then wakes up some skunks. Now it is bath time for Twilight. Lots and lots of tomato juice should get rid of that skunk smell.

Bitch, bitch, bitch, is that all Twilight knows how to do. She has already proven that she is a terrible nest maker, can't stand on skates and isn't any good at waking animals. She is determined to find a way to help with this. When I saw all this I sent her a message that read, "Twilight, I see you suck at helping with winter wrap up. Come up and suck me instead."

Here I thought she would be all excited, have Spike send me a message that she's coming and get her ass up here. But oh no, she just couldn't do that. She has Spike send me a message that reads, "Princess Celesta, I can't. I want to help this town wrap up winter.
P.S. While I couldn't help Pinkie score the lakes I will just try to score with her instead."

How dare she! What does Pinkie have that I don't? I mean come on, I'm a sexy Alicorn Sun Goddess, Pinkie is just a party pony who talks too much. Well it looks like Twinkleshine and I will have to find somepony else for the threesome we have planned tonight. Maybe Moondancer will join us.

Well now Twilight heads over to the farm to lend a hoof. This can only lead to a disaster. Personally I hope she really fucks up since she turned down my invitation just so she could screw Pinkie. There are all the strong stallions, pushing those plows and clearing that snow. It truly frustrates me that those ponies are being put through so much hard work when all it would take is a beam of energy from my horn to make all of that unnecessary. After what is about to happen, Applejack will probably wish I would have done that.

Well Twilight gets it in her head that she can help out on the farm somehow. She actually thinks she can push a plow and clear snow! She is either overly enthusiastic, arrogant as hell or wants to get Applejack in bed. I was laughing my ass off when she was trying to push that plow and getting nowhere. I was thinking, "You know Twilight, it would be a lot easier for you to push your horn in me than push that thing so just forget it already."

While Twilight was taking her tomato juice bath Spike mentioned that this could be done quicker with her magic. Well she decides to use a come to life spell on that plow. At first it was going perfectly fine but apparently she forgot how to stop increasing the strength of the spell as that thing was no longer just clearing snow, it was building a huge snowball. Eventually she loses control of the damn thing and smashes into Applejack and Spike, making them part of the snowball. Sorry Twilight, but doing that to Applejack will not get her in bed.

I have taught Twilight a lot but apparently she was distracted when I was teaching her how to properly cast a come to life spell. I remember her staring at my ass during that lesson, daydreaming of the night that would follow so I feel that I owe Applejack an apology. I will apologize to her in a couple weeks when I go down there and see Fluttershy.

Naturally Applejack was pissed. She wasn't pissed because Twilight tried to kill her with a snowball, it was because she dared to use magic as part of this, especially on her farm. Lighten up Applejack, she was only trying to help. She just needs to learn how to control how much power she puts into her spells.

Now Twilight has officially proclaimed herself as a "winter mess up" as she is hiding in a bush. Damn straight she's a winter mess up. The only thing she's ever done good during the winter is keep me warm! Well while she is in a bush crying and whining, everypony else starts arguing. What a surprise! When nothing gets done and you are using outdated methods, arguments are sure to ensue.

Applejack is bitching about the pegasi needing to melt the snow but Fluttershy is whining that the flooding will damage her animal friends' homes. I know there are still animals that need to be woken up but Fluttershy is there bitching instead of doing her job. Well come to find out while everypony else was working their asses off, the mayor was in her office hoofing herself and calling out my name. Unfortunately for the mayor, that's the closest she'll ever get to scoring with me.

Finally the mayor crawls out of her office and starts bitching about how spring will be late again and that they need to be more organized. Well now, Twilight finally realizes she might be useful after all. She goes from wallowing in self-pity in a bush to arrogantly boasting that she was the pony to get them organized. With as much as she had screwed up that day, I was secretly wishing that they would all attack her at once and beat her senseless, but instead they all smiled and realized that little miss hot shit would likely save the day. Fucking bitch anyway, I'm the one who should be saving the day.

Well she did get them organized and got things moving along more efficiently. Yeah multiple bells to wake the animals is a bit more efficient, but still not as efficient as me simply striking the land with lightning that would cause thunder so loud all of them would wake at once. Oh my goodness, they actually decided to plant the seeds as soon as the plow cleared the ground. I am in a state of shock right now. Well now that the ground is cleared, the pegasi can FINALLY clear the damn skies and bring those dipshit birds home. With the help of Amethyst Star, Lyra and a few other unicorns, Rarity was able to get those hideous nests done.

Guess what? Spring arrived on time for the first time in ages in Ponyville. While I really hate to admit it, Twilight was the reason since her organization got their sorry asses in gear. Now it wasn't done nearly as quick as I could have got it done but for a backwater town full of incompetent hacks, it turned out well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Twilight taking part in winter wrap up was special and shit but I'm still going to punish her for rejecting my invitation. I'm thinking I'll even allow Twinkleshine to join in. She's always wanted to help me punish somepony so the next time Twilight shows up here, Twinkleshine's wish shall come true. Twilight will be at our mercy.

Regarding the winter wrap up here in Canterlot, I took care of it in TEN SECONDS FLAT. Damn I love being an Alicorn! Maybe I should just cast a winter wrap up spell that will cover the whole country. It will save everypony a lot of time and make their lives easier. I just hope their methods for changing other seasons aren't equally bad. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if they spray paint the leaves to start off fall.