Hello everypony, it is your Supreme Dictator and overlord Celestia again. I have been scanning the land have decided that you have all behaved well enough that you deserve to see the events of Swarm of the Century as I saw them.

I was so delighted that some of the ponies were out gathering flowers for my visit. I knew that the sweet and sexy Fluttershy would be one of them. Even though she was just saying "la lala, lalala" Fluttershy's voice was so enticing. I wanted to just fly down there and bring her home with me but that would have prevented her from doing what is important, getting enough flowers to let me know that I am loved.

Alright, I'm not sure what these weird little bugs are but they sure are adorable. I knew Fluttershy would think it is the greatest thing in the world which really pisses me off. She needs to realize that I am the greatest thing in the world. She sure thought that for a while until she decided she didn't want to come up here every weekend and make me happy. I can't confirm it but she is probably keeping Rarity happy every weekend now. Damn seductress anyway. If I find out my assumption is true, I will banish her to the moon permanently and imprison Fluttershy in my bedroom for the next thirty years.

Well while Fluttershy is out giving adoration to annoying bugs that she should be giving to me, Twilight is in the library having only the type of panic that she would have. Twilight should know that the library doesn't have to be spotless for my visit. As long as her bed is cleaned off, that is all that matters. And Spike is right, Twilight should be reading the books she threw all over the place one at a time. Too bad she wasn't reading the Kama Sutra, she really needs to learn some new things. I get sick and tired of doing the same old things all the time.

While to me it would make more sense for Spike to check on the preparations and for miss magic pants to stay at home and prepare the library for my visit, she decides Spike should stay home and clean up her mess. It was a good thing that she did though because had she not, I would have had to banish Golden Harvest and Berry Punch to the moon for a million years. My name is Princess Celestia, not Princess Celest you dingbats!

Alright, I have had enough, Pinkie is going to pay for devouring the sweets that were meant for ME! If I were the Cakes, I would fire Pinkie and throw her out. How dare she have to taste their cooking to make sure it is suitable for me. I have had their sweets plenty of times and they are the best bakers in Equestria. Pinkie probably thought she could get me in bed if she made sure everything was perfect, but she was sadly mistaken.

Before Pinkie could devour all the treats Fluttershy shows up with her adorable little friend, which has suddenly become three little friends. With as much as she knows about animals I would think she would know what they were and with as smart as Twilight is, I would think she would know but unfortunately, she didn't. Pinkie on the other hand does and heads off to start gathering everything to drive the critters out of town.

One thing I would like to know is how did Rarity get Rainbow into that hideous looking outfit. Good grief, if she thinks that is Rainbow looking nice for me, then she must be a bigger idiot than I thought. With the exception of snobby events like weddings, coronations and the Gala, most ponies don't wear clothes! Suddenly Twilight comes waltzing in thinking that Rarity is going to give a rat's ass about a dumb bug. What surprised me is that both her and Rainbow seemed to suddenly think the sun rose and set in those things' asses. Well guess what, it doesn't. I move the sun and it most definitely does not rise and set in a bug's ass.

Now Pinkie, why would you go barging into the boutique thinking Rarity would have an accordion? The music store is a couple blocks down and besides, unless you rob the place, you're not getting one. Those things aren't cheap because they have to be imported from overseas since nopony in Equestria knows how to make the dumb things. Suddenly the police scanner in Ponyville goes off reporting a robbery at the Ponyville Music Store. The bad thing is that the town cop was up here at Donut Joe's feasting on donuts so Pinkie got her accordion. Oh well, it had been sitting there for two years so nopony was going to buy it anyway.

One thing I love to do is cast invisibility spells on myself and teleport myself into important places. Well right after Twilight turned off her light, I cast an invisibility spell on myself and teleported to her bedroom. While Spike and his bug friend were sound asleep, I saw and heard what Twilight was doing. She is such a naughty girl! She was massaging herself with her hoof and calling out my name, she must be getting ready for tomorrow night. While I am flattered, I am displeased at the same time. What if Spike would have woke up and saw this? That is something a pony should not be doing around children! I will be sure and punish her severely for this tomorrow night.

Everything seems fine and she assumes there is nothing to worry about. Well it wasn't too long after I teleported back to Canterlot that Spike decides to feed his little friend. Morning comes and Twilight realizes that either Spike screwed that bug and it mass produced or that more of them just found a way into the library. She starts to freak out again. She is so cute and sexy when she does that. Poor Spike though, slave-driver Twily makes him do so much hard work and then the bugs ruin it. I'm betting Spike won't consider those things friends anymore.

Rainbow wakes up and quickly gets attacked but she doesn't have near the problem that Twilight does. Rarity has tons of them too but at first she is still adoring them because she realizes she can enslave them to help her make the slutty outfits she is so famous for, well until she sees how they reproduce. She thinks it is icky but hey, it is clearly effective and it doesn't require hooking up with some ass who only wants to get in your coat. As long as we don't have a billion bug army fly in and overthrow me, they can hack up more of themselves all they want.

While Pinkie continues to try to find enough instruments to create a one pony orchestra, Rarity and Twilight bump into one another and see that they have the same problem. Despite the fact that she didn't know how one turned into three the day before, Twilight suggests they go see if Fluttershy knows how to stop them from throwing up babies. Here is where they are wrong. Fluttershy seems to think they are so adorable that they could multiply so much that they would fill her whole cottage, leaving her nowhere to live and she'd be fine with it. That wouldn't be so bad though because then I could get her to come live with me and fun times would ensue!

Well Twilight opens the door and a bunch of them head outside while many others stay in with Fluttershy, hoping that she will feed them enough that they can form an army big enough to overthrow me. Now I know why she didn't want them to stop multiplying and simply acted like she was trying to stop them. She can control the minds of animals and she would have them breed enough that she could form that billion bug army to come in and overthrow me and crown herself Supreme Dictator. If that is the case, I better fly in, destroy her army, abduct her and imprison her in my sleeping chambers until she loses her sex appeal. If you think I'm bad, having Fluttershy in power would be much worse. I've seen her bad side and she would probably execute over half of the ponies in this country for either being mean to animals, bullying others or simply because she thought they weren't worthy of being alive.

Finally in comes the voice of reason, Applejack. I would say that Fluttershy having her bring in apples as bait was a bad idea, but it did aid in getting most of the damn things in one place. Well everypony but Pinkie is able to get them rounded up into one huge ball and using her spectacular herding skills, Applejack and her friends are able to drive them back into the forest. Woo-hoo, my visit won't be ruined after all, or so I thought.

Here I thought that my visit would be a normal one now. I would mingle with the commoners, gorge myself on sweets and then go bang Twilight but no, Fluttershy just had to keep one of those fucking bugs in her house and of course it just had to try to rebuild the bug army. I don't blame the others for being so pissed about her keeping one when she knows how quickly they multiply. Well Rainbow seems to think that creating a mini-tornado will do the trick. Initially it does, until Pinkie just has to come along with some cymbals. Ugh, why must she always ruin things. First she sabotages the Cakes' attempts at making sure I am well fed and now this. Perhaps I should banish her to the moon along with those dingbats who can't even spell my name right.

Those cymbals of her's get sucked into the tornado and that could have caused Rainbow to be beheaded. Now she can be annoying a lot of the time but at this moment she was trying to help out. Rainbow gets thrown out of her tornado and all the bugs go flying into Ponyville. I am shocked that Pinkie's friends did not beat the shit out of her for this. Now my visit will be ruined because those fucking things will eat all the food.

It is rather obvious that nopony in town knows what they are, especially Bon Bon. She holds one of her hooves up for one to land on and gives it the same adorable smile you would a newborn foal. She thought differently when it went and ate her and Lyra's slices of pie. What I'd like to know is how could something so small eat things so much bigger than they are? Ok, I get it. Just like with Pinkie being able to be in Manehattan one second and Las Pegasus the next, it is a cartoon so anything can happen.

Well Twilight and her friends get back to town watching every bit of food get devoured. Applejack decides to run off to the farm and prevent these things from eating her apples. Now my star student has had many good ideas in her life and now she has another, she will cast a spell to stop them from eating all the food. I'm surprised Fluttershy didn't throw a fit over this because it would be preventing those things from practicing their true nature. Well she casts the spell and the food is safe, it is just everything else that is in trouble now!

Nice job Twilight, because of you I might have to have new maps of Equestria printed. From the way things are going, it looks like Ponyville will get eaten off the map. Where will they go next? Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus? I don't have to worry about them coming to Canterlot because I have already put a force field around the city so they can't get us. Oh well, don't any of you worry about what would happen to Twilight if this happens. I have a spot in my bed for her to sleep. I'll teach her new things, things much more important than friendship!

Well the reprogrammed bugs break into Rarity's store and begin to eat her merchandise. I know some ponies may think "poor Rarity" but it isn't really any loss. It's not like I ever wear clothes so why should I care? Then Applejack and her family are there waiting for the swarm to approach. Ok, a fly swatter, a pitchfork and a canister of Raid is not going to stop these things. Had Twilight not altered their mindsets the Apples would no longer have a farm, but instead they now have no home. Well I'll send in some of Canterlot's best builders to help her family out, after all they are wisest family in Equestria. I'll just punish Twilight further since she turned the bugs into building eaters.

It was just not that long ago that Twilight got on good terms with Zecora and suddenly she decides to grab one of these things and hauls it out to her hut to see what the hell it is. Unfortunately, when Zecora told her what it was, I missed what she called them. I do remember her telling Twilight that if they were in Ponyville that they're fucked.

Twilight gets back to town to discover half the town in ruins and total chaos ensuing. Pretty fun, right? Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse the one pony orchestra starts marching in. Twilight thinks it is my procession but what she forgot is that I don't have a fucking procession. That is wasteful, inconvenient and expensive. Naturally Twilight is pissed UNTIL she sees the bugs begin to behave in a different manner upon hearing her music. They go from devouring the buildings to following her! I have changed my mind, I won't banish her to the moon for eating all the treats after all and since I'm in a good mood, I won't banish Golden Harvest or Berry Punch for misspelling my name.

While Pinkie is leading these little pests into the forest I am greeted by her friends who bow down before me in a way that says, "will you punish us tonight?" Well I will punish Twilight more than I ever have but the others I will leave alone, yes, even Fluttershy. I know she is mad that her bug friends got driven back into the forest and it is no fun banging a pony in a bad mood.

Well Twilight gives me her friendship report basically saying that even if someone is an idiot you should listen to what they have to say. Normally I would have smacked her and told her she is simply being a bitch but in this instance, she is right. I have come to the conclusion that Pinkie must have had to deal with the things in the past. Perhaps that is why nothing grows at the rock farm, they had these things attack the place before she moved away.

Yes the things are cute and shit, but they are obviously a nuisance and guess what? I have to go to Fillydelphia and get rid of their infestation so sadly, I will not get laid tonight. Oh well, once I get done purging those bugs from the big city I will come and take care of Twilight.

On a final note, while I am driving them out of Fillydelphia, I learned that these bugs are called parasprites. I feel rather stupid that I, the Sun Goddess and supreme dictator of Equestria, did not know the name of something that lives within my domain. I have decided to put a barrier up around the Everfree Forest to keep the parasprites from invading the rest of the country. YOU'RE WELCOME you pathetic serfs!