“... Was that a pun?” I smile widely.

“Yes, it was. Come on, let’s go home.” With Spark in two, we head home, walk into my room, set Spark’s place to sleep, put her to sleep mode, and I got to bed.

“So why are you dragging us here?” I ask as Pinkie is quite literally dragged me and Spark towards Twi’s house. I didn’t even get to take her out of sleep mode.

“Ith a surprithe thilly willy!” I don’t know to this day how her teeth didn’t crush the fuck out of my fucking talons. That includes my fucking wings not snapping too.

“God dammit Pinkie...” I mumble. “How’d you even know about spark?”

“I heard that!” She looks at me knowingly. “And a little pony thold me avout her.” She answers through clenched teeth.

*Fucking Pinkie.*

“Hey! That’s not nice!” I heard Pinkie yell in my head.

*... Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about i-*

“We’re here!” Pinkie drops mine and Spark’s foot from her muzzle, she hops inside. I get up, pick Spark up in my magic, and activate her.

“Good morning Ember.” She says as soon as she wakes up. “Where are we?” I set her on the ground.

“We’re at Twilight’s castle. Pinkie literally dragged us here.”

“I see, should we go inside then?”

“I suppose.” We nod to each other and walk inside. And first thing we hear are some muffled voices. From the throne room. We head there and walk in the room to and we’re greeted by a strangely beautiful site. Hanging from the ceiling is a giant chandelier that looks like the root system of a tree with brightly-colored gems hanging off them. It quite literally brightens up the room. I look to my left and see that the girls are in a group hug. And from what I see Twi’s crying her eyes out.

“Is this all she needed to feel at home with this place?”

“Apparently.”

“Where did they even get the roots? The gems don’t even look all that brilliant. Wait a minute…” I fly up the gems. When I take a closer look. There are pictures of the girls adventures in each gem. How the fuck did they manage to do that? I look at some other gems before flying back down.

“What did you see?” Spark asked.

“There are pictures of the girls inside each gem. I’m just as puzzled as you are about how they did that.”

“It is a work of art though.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“But don't you mean Applejack Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow dash made that?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You were saying ‘they’, it was a little confusing.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s ok, just watch your syntax next time.” I look to her and she’s grinning back at me.

“Haha, very funny.”

“Uh… Ember?” I turn to Aj.

“Yeah Aj?”

“Who’s yer new friend?”

“Oh yeah. Girls, minus Twi,”

“Hey!.. Oh...”

“Allow me to introduce you all to Spark.” I wave my hands in a dramatic way towards Spark. She waves to them.

“Hello.” And of course, Pinkie is the first to say hi. But not before getting really close to Sparks face, by floating in mid-air.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! Are you another human like Emby? How come my Pinkie Senses didn’t tell me there was a new pony in town? Oh whatever, I’m still gonna throw the biggest party for you EVER!” Spark couldn’t do much besides staring at Pinkie a little dumbfounded and really confused. Spark then turns to me.

“Is she always like this?”

“Yeah, but you get used to it.”

“I see.” She turns back to Pinkie, who was surprisingly waiting patiently. Guess she gets that a lot. “A party sounds wonderful, Pinkie.” Spark looked like she was about to say something else, but she opted to let Pinkie interrupt.

“Okie Dokie Lokie! Be back here by noon!” She zips off to what assume would be her home to plan this party.

“That was… interesting.”

“Couldn’t agree more with you Spark.”

“Ahem.” Twi clears her throat and we all look to her.

“Please excuse Pinkie, she’s… Pinkie Pie.” She sighs. “Anyways, I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic.”

“Pleased to meet you, Twilight.” Before anyone else can say anything else, Rainbow cuts in.

“The name’s Rainbow Dash!” She said that as proudly as she could, as if being Rainbow was a good thing. “And I’m the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria!” She flies around the large room as fast as she could, being in a large room she couldn’t fly very fast, lest she crashes through a window, or into a wall, whichever is more hilarious. Hopefully that happens soon… Anyway, once it’s apparent that Rainbow isn’t coming down anytime soon, Aj decided to introduce herself. To Spark not me.

“Howdy partner, name’s Applejack. Ah run a farm over at the edge of town” She tilts her hat in a greeting manner.

“And I’m Rarity, Fashion Extraordinaire.” She places a hoof on her chest in a hoitie-toitie tone. “If you ever need a dress, come down to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is Chique, perfique, and magnifique!”

*Of course Rarity would do that.*

“Well that’s good to know.” Spark remarked with a kind smile. Next was Fluttershy, who the girls and me turned to. As soon as she noticed the attention she hid behind her hair, as best as she could, we can still see her left eye. She’s not doing a good job at hiding.

“If you want to play hide-and-seek you could’ve just told us!” I say jokingly, it got a chuckle out of everyone else, but it seemed to have made the butter-yellow pegasus more shy, if her backing away is her way of saying that. “Sorry, Shy,” Shy’s a cool nickname, shut up. “I couldn’t help but make that joke. But come on, everyone else introduced themselves, why not you? I thought you’d be brave this time.” When I spoke I tried to sound as soft as possible, as to not make things worse for Fluttershy.

And it does seem to help, Fluttershy poked her head out in the most cutest manner I’ve ever seen. I get to say stuff like that, shut the fuck up, I can feel your judgement.

“Um… I’m… Fluttershy...” She voice fell to a whisper halfway through her name.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Spark asked.

“Um, it’s Fluttermumble.” Her voice fell again.

“Didn’t quite catch that, what’s your name?”

“... I’m Fluttershy.” She whispered ever-so lightly. I wouldn’t be surprised if-

“Ah, Fluttershy, what a wonderful name.” Spark was close enough and the room was quite enough, shut up. When Spark complemented Shy’s name, cute nickname, she blushed.

“Th-thank you.” She smiles cutely and looks away in a bashful way. God fucking dammit that’s fucking adorable. Jesus even I think that’s adorable.

“It’s wonderful to finally meet you all.”

*If only I had THIS kind of introduction with them. Though… it’s still funny that I could’ve kicked Rainbow’s ass, and that I still can.*

“Wait, whaddya mean by ‘finally’?” Rainbow questioned as she took a defensive stance.

“Oh, Ember told all about you when we first met.”

“Oh, ok.” She relaxes. “Wait, Ember told you about me?”

*Not this shit again...* I groan inwardly.

“What did he say about me? He must’ve been talking about how awesome I am.” She rubs a hoof to her chest as if there was a watch or ring there, and she had this look of pure smugness. As if expecting what she said is true. Of which the opposite is true.

“Not really, he mostly talked about how closed-minded and boastful you are. And at this point I do agree with him.”

“Wha-!”

“But, he also said that you can be a good person when you want to be.”

“Oh… Ok. Huh...” She took to her haunches and brought a hoof to her chin, contemplating who knows what in her tiny mind. While all of this was going on I saw through a window that the sun was going down. So without saying a word I begin to head home.

“Ember?” I stop in my tracks.

“Yeah Twi?”

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“You don’t want to stay here for a bit?”

“I’m tired, and sleepy.”

“Sleepy from what!? You barely did anything! As far as I know.” Rainbow flew into my personal space, her face inches from mine. Does she like doing this? And since when does she give a fuck about what I do?

“I’ve been trying to change my sleep schedule so I can wake up at the time you guys do. And I’ve also been making progress, slightly. It’s been a royal pain in the ass.”

“Oh, well why would you even do that?”

“Dash, I wake up an hour before noon.”

“Oh… right.” She hovers to the side, allowing me to be on my way, to bed.

“It’s been awhile since I actually experienced a good dream.” I say to myself as I walk through the dreamscape, which right now resembles Time Square in New York. Out of all the places I’ve been too, which is a lot, New York has to be my favorite, the bustling city just feels like home to me. Though, given the chance I would most likely live in the outskirts, I hate traffic. But walking around Time Square is quite fun. I get to see the pinnacle of capitalism. Heh.

“Ember!? Ember!” I heard someone call out. I freeze in my tracks and look around. “Ember!” I take to the air and look around. And immediately I see that Luna is calling out for me. I fly over to her and land next to her. “Ember! Oh thank the maker. ”

“What are you doing here Luna? Aren’t you supposed to keep the dream world safe or something?” I quickly came to terms that the dreamworld is an actual plain of existence. I kinda had that idea back on Earth, didn’t everybody? There weren’t that many theories about dreams…

“It is safe Ember. I just find your dreams… interesting.” I scoff.

“Why? ‘Cause I’m technically an alien from space?” Luna looks down with an embarrassed blush. “Heh. Thought so.” I snicker. “Anyways. I can see why you would think that.”

“How so?”Her blush disappears and she raises a brow.

“If I were to meet an alien being from across the universe, and if I had the ability to see what they dream of. I’d be curious as to what they dream of.”

“I see.”

“But why would you still want to see what I dream of? At this point you know more about me than anyone else here.”

“I know. But there are so many things I’ve seen in your memories that I find fascinating.” She gives me an excited look. “Like; Tee vees, and, video games, and other things I can’t even pronounce!”

“And you think you can find out what all of that means? My kind’s technology?” I’m pretty sure there was a better way to phrase that…

“Yes, there is a better way to phrase your question, but I do know what you mean.” She smiles innocently at me. “And yes!”

“Well to make things easier for both of us… why don’t you do that, memory spell, like you did last time.”

“What!?” She shrieks. “Why?” She takes on a flabbergasted look, and the imaginary people are starting to look.

“That would be much easier than having to explain human technology. We’d be here for a while.”

“That’s not a problem to me.”

“That’s because you’re an all-powerful, immortal being with all the time in the fucking universe.” Luna flinches at my… colorful vocabulary.

“Yes, well. I’ll just… perform the spell now.” I nod and we get closer. Yes I know that can be taken the wrong way but you know what I fucking mean, so shut up and stay quiet with your dirty thoughts. Anyway, next thing I know Luna’s horn touches my forehead and I pass out again. though, when I wake up, in my dream, there’s no noticeable pain or fatigue like last time. Despite the fact that I flew across the sidewalk and landed on my back. The buildings, smog, and blue sky are quickly replaced by Luna’s worried face.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” She asks.

“Surprisingly not. Can you back up please.?”

“Why?”

“So I can get up.”

“Oh, right.” She steps away and I get up. By now all the people around us are looking directly at me.

“The fuck are you all looking at!?” I shout and everyone goes back to whatever my subconscious is making them do.

“Why do you speak like that?”

“That’s just a norm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s how I usually talk to everybody.”

“Then why haven’t you spoke like that around anypony?”

“I like showing respect, unless I’m pissed.”

“Oh, ok. That’s good.”

“Thanks. Now, did you get the information you wanted?” She nods vigorously.

“Yes! Dear maker this is all fascinating!” A desktop appears out of thin air. She eagerly hops over to it and begins to use it. Though, I wouldn’t know what she would expect, she has no idea what… Ok she’s using my memories.

“What is all of this?” She asks, I look at the screen and she’s viewing a one-night stand I had with a girl.

“Ok that’s enough of that!” I smash the computer. “Who the fuck said you could look through my memories, and since when could you use a computer?” She blushes.

“Uh, I… didn’t know those where your memories. And it was through your memories that I learned to use the machine.”

“We’re in a fucking dream remember?” I give Luna an irritated glare. Her expression changed darkly. “Ugh I need to do something now. You mind leaving my dream for a few minutes?”

“... This may be a question with an obvious answer, but why?”

“Do you really want to know why?” I give her a dark look like Agent 47 in the movie.

“I’m… going to go now.”

“Thank-” She poofs away before I could finish. “you.” I look around for a bit as a minigun just like Heavy’s, forms in my hands.

“Is this what I think it is?” I hear Emby come from nowhere. He appears on my right.

“Yup, you’re fucking lucky this is a dream Ember.” Embris appears on my left. I look at both of them, Emby has a flamethrower, and Embris has a grenade launcher.

“Says you Embris, let's get this shit started, I‘ve been wanting to do this for a while now.”

“Let’s on with it then!” Emby goes into psycho mode.

“Not without us you little shit!” Me and Embris shout out, we then follow and have the time of our fucking lives.

*splat* I slam a person so hard into the ground the impact makes a small crater. Turning his torso to mush.

“Phew, that was fun.”

“Yeah, *sholrp* that was.”

“Alright, you fuckers need to go and I’ll clean this shit up. Luna should be back any second.” A loud crash sounds out and the blood-filled dream breaks away to black like fragile glass. “Or something could be happening out in the real world.” I close my eyes and minutes pass before I wake up, I open my eyes and immediately I bolt up from my bed. My eyes quickly adjust to the darkness and I go into stealth mode when there’s nothing going on in my room. I make my way upstairs to the door and listen for any noise.

“You’re a bucking idiot! That could’ve woken it up!” I masculine voice whisper shouts.

“I’m sorry! It’s bucking dark in here!” A feminine voice whisper shouts back.

“Shut up! It can probably hear us!” They must be referring to me. But why?

“Well, it already would’ve come out by now.”

“Are you stupid? Haven’t you heard of the rumors?” The male voice asks.

“Those are just rumors. C’mon, let’s just get this over with.” Hearing enough, I slowly and quietly open the door. From what I could tell they were in the living room.

“I don’t know Ivy. Those guards were left in the infirmary for three days.”

“Oh shut it Nighty, we don’t know it was the same creature we’re looking for.” It’s getting annoying that a lot of the ponies still call me an animal. I hear hooves against wood flooring and I head over to the source. I turn a corner into the living room and there are the two ponies, both of them unicorns, wearing full body coats, walking towards the kitchen. Since they haven’t detected me I tip-talon, heh, puns, my way across the room and wait for the perfect time to strike. And then the kitchen is dimly lit by the refrigerator light.

“Oh Celestia!” The girl nearly shouts.

“What?” The guy walks over and takes a look into the fridge. “Oh dear Celestia, hrr!” They found my meat stash. Perfect. I ever-so-slowly slash quietly sneak up behind them while they gawk at the meat in the fridge.

“What monster would have this in their fridge?” The male asks no one in particular.

“... Me.” I answer. They both jump and spin around in a startled way. Their faces almost instantly go from startled to scared shitless; their eyes widen and their pupils shrink, and both of their jaws drop to the floor. Literally. I’m glad I’m used to shit like that, and that I don’t question the very laws of physics. “What? I like meat.” I say jokingly. The two ponies stay frozen with fear. I reach a hand over and snap my fingers in front of their faces.

“... Wh… what are you!? G-get away from me!” The guy stutters out. The girl, you know it’s much easier to say guy and girl at this point. Anyway, the girl just closes her mouth, but she backs up and her fear grows. Having dealing with enough of this, I snap my fingers and the lights turn on, I grab Ivy and Nighty in my magic and two chairs appear in the middle of the living room. I haphazardly throw them on the chairs and keep them there using my magic. By now they’re freaking out, screaming and kicking. Trying their hardest to break free.

“Let us go! Monster!”

“Alright, shut the fuck up!” I shout, the two freeze and fall silent. “Thank you. Now, can you two tell me why the fuck you broke into my house?” Being frozen in fear they don’t respond.

“I will not repeat that question, you have five seconds.” I start counting in my head. I then form my giant hammer.

“I-it’s a contest!” The girl shrieks. I stop counting and the hammer disappears.

“What ‘contest’?”

“Ever since the ponies hired by Prince Blueblood failed, we started to hunt you down and take you out.” The guy says with a smug look

“And why are you idiots doing this?” He doesn’t respond. “If you’re not going to talk I’ll make you.”

“Ch, how?” I snap my fingers and the dagger from a while back teleports to my hand. I then walk up and place the tip of the blade to the guy’s right cheek.

“ Don’t and I’ll gouge your eyes out.” I lightly slide the tip of the curved blade up to his eye. Not applying enough force to draw blood, yet.

“Alright alright I’ll talk!” Nighty squirms. Ivy just stares in fear.

“Good, now tell me what this is all about.”

“It’s a tradition, if anypony fails to take out a target we all stop what we’re doing and go after the target.”

“Really?” He nods and I sigh. “That’s stupid.”

“Hey! Buck you! My great great grandfather started the tradition!” Ivy shouts.

“How about you shut your mouth before I kill both of you and send your heads back to Canterlot?”