She was preening.

Pegasi need to do this from time to time, as just like birds, their feathers can become worn and bedraggled with use. Proper wing and feather care is essential. Lack of it leads to lack of flight and discomfort.

She stretched her wings, assessed where best to start and then used her mouth to gently shift her secondary feathers back into place. A few that were particularly worn were plucked. They would regrow in time.

Fluttershy's primary wing feathers also needed tending to, but she was having trouble stretching that far. Unlike birds, who have flexible necks, ponies can't bend that far without considerable discomfort.

I watched her graceful form as she did what came naturally.

Then, all of a sudden, without even thinking, I was helping her. I smoothed the feathers that were askew back into place using my paw and talon. Fluttershy sighed happily as the discomfort of her once distorted wing shape was eased.

As a winged creature myself, I knew that preening someone else's wings was one of the most intimate things we could do for each other. I didn't quite understand how or why I had plucked up the courage to do this, and I was even more surprised that she seemed to be enjoying it.

I ran my paw over the delicate yet strong feathers. It was hard to know who was enjoying what more- her leaning into the sensation of having her wings stroked or me enjoying the feel of her lovely wings.

“Discord,” she whispered.

“Yes?” I said, leaning forward.

THWACK

Right in the kisser. That's where the morning paper delivered by the Kookaburra hit me. Goodbye dream.

Oh well, it was time to get up anyway. I suppose. There was no other mail- no letters. Fluttershy hadn't written for a few months. I suspected Celestia was keeping her and the others busy with friendship and save-the-world nonsense.

I muttered curse words while stretching, then picked up the morning paper.

Right on the front page was a picture of the ranger who had been tracking me:

STRANGE BEAST SIGHTED AT AYER'S HOOF screamed the headline, then underneath: “Officials now have reason to suspect that the odd phenomena at Ayer's Hoof may be linked with a creature called a Draconequus”.

How the HELL had they figured that one out? Someone must have blabbed. I think that someone may have been...no, more like definitely was an alicorn princess. You can't trust anyone these days. Yeah, I know that's rich coming from me, but I'm least I'm consistent.

I continued reading:

“This creature is considered highly dangerous as it has the ability to control chaos."

Control chaos. Oh please. No one can "control" chaos- it just is. Something Celestia and Luna would do well to learn. Instead I'm here because they refuse to.  

My mind almost never shuts up. I can think of several trains of thought at once quite easily, but I am also easily distracted. Remember how I said I tend to go off on tangents? Well that was an understatement. I don't just mean in conversation, I also mean with life plans. It was like that with the comet--become obsessed with it, then go off it quickly once another shiny thing came along that tickled my fancy.

What is the point of sticking to one thing when there is so much out there to see and smell and taste?

I wouldn't have discovered so much if I was what you would class as a "grounded" individual. I'm definitely not going to spend my life going to Bingo in the evenings.

Besides, look what had happened when I had tried sticking to one thing: I ended up obsessed with a decaying dog god whose only purpose was to try and use me for his own ends while I begged like a puppy. Not classy. Certainly not.

I try to retain a certain dignity now, and that involves being attached to no places, no things, and most importantly...NO PEOPLE.

Oh, I enjoy having an audience of course. But that's not the same thing.

A black and white picture of Ranger Spence was on the right of the article, as he looked determinedly into the camera. "Rangers think they are close to catching the beast."

I scrunched up the paper and kicked it into the sun, refusing to look at any more. So the ranger wanted to find me?

Let him try.

Let Celestia try with her awful, banal life philosophy.

---

That night I had an awful dream.

Xolotl was gnawing at and sucking up my essence.

No, you perverts, not like that--It was like my soul was being eaten by him, and I could feel everything that I am decaying inside. I was no longer Discord, your resident happy-go-lucky speed demon and wind-up merchant. Instead I was Discord, the greyed out shell.

I could feel my energy being sapped as I struggled under one of his great, twisted paws.

I begged him not to destroy who I was. "No..."

"Why not?" he spat in my face. "You did it to her."

I woke up in a sweat. My body was curled up as tightly as possible and I was hugging myself. Despite being covered in sweat I shivered at the memory of the dream still very vivid and fresh in my mind.

---

The Kookaburra arrived at dusk, just as the first stars were beginning to show themselves. I was busy drinking a coconut (not the water inside it, but the coconut) when the letter landed at my feet.

Fluttershy! I recognised her handwriting on the envelope. I flung the coconut behind me and tore open the envelope.

Dear Discord,

I hope you are well. Sorry there has been a delay between letters but...many things have happened since. Exciting things!

I met someone. I wish I could say I was brave and followed your advice and looked for a stallion, but instead it was more like it just sort of happened.

I should start at the beginning.

Rarity, Pinkie and I went to Canterlot a few weeks ago at Princess Celestia's request to plan a welcome dinner for visiting royalty from Saddle Arabia. I was there because the Princesses were interested in having the bird choir sing again.

I met him at the dinner. There were many ponies there, but as usual I felt a little nervous talking to people I didn't really know. Rarity was in her element, flirting away. I don't know how she does it! Well, I do. She's beautiful and confident and intelligent, so it's not surprising that stallions hang on her every word. I just mean I don't know how to do it.

But this time it turns out I didn't have to. He came up to talk to me.

I was pretty much ready to hide behind my mane as usual, but he made me feel comfortable when he talked to me.

“You're Fluttershy, aren't you?” He had heard of us element bearers. I expect a lot of Equestria has by now, even though that still feels surprising to me.

I...just. He made me feel good about myself when he spoke to me. He liked who I was and what I had accomplished, and that made me want to talk without hiding behind my mane.

I was gripping the letter quite tightly now and I realized I had been holding my breath. I let it out and continued.

We agreed to see each other again, and he's been helping me with the animals. He even adopted one of the cats! I really wish you were here, Discord so you could meet him.

The upper and lower parts of my body began to pace quite independently of themselves as I continued to read.

His name is Pine. I find the fact that he's named after a tree adorable! I find everything about him adorable.

Why did I feel so strange?

Thank you so much for your advice. I really should have listened to you sooner.

Why did I feel sick?

Well, we've only been dating for a few months, but. I...I think I'm in love. I wanted you to be the first to know.  I can't even convey how happy I am!

Please write soon, miss you lots!

Fluttershy

I stood there under the night sky silently for about a minute after finishing the letter.

Then I obliterated a row of palm trees. They melted quickly, and the coconuts burst like kernels of giant popcorn.

Did I mention that as a chaos being my emotions are blindingly intense? When I feel joy, everyone must know about it, and I will rub it in people's faces obnoxiously. When I feel rage, everything within a 50 mile radius better run and hide. And I can be incandescently jealous, which at that very moment, I was.

I was confused by this. It wasn't that I hadn't felt jealousy before, it was the idea that I had any right to be jealous.  Wasn't this what I wanted? Didn't I want my friend to be happy? Hadn't I told her to go out and look for someone? What was the problem?

I stood there with the letter in my hand trying to work out what was irking me so badly.

I remembered the first thing I said when Fluttershy had cried during my betrayal.

"Surely you saw this coming?"

I wasn't jealous because this stallion had something I wanted and I didn't. It was a bit more subtle than that.

Surely you saw this coming?

It was because someone had something I wanted and couldn't. Those are different things. I did not deserve Fluttershy, and the thought that she would ever view me as a partner was frighteningly laughable. So laughable, in fact that I did end up laughing. If anyone had been in the area they would have looked up at the sound to hear and see someone looking quite unhinged.

I hated myself then, and I hated myself now. She had actually liked me more than I liked myself. She had trusted me more than I had trusted myself. There was no way I deserved her.

Surely you saw this coming?

Oh Dear Celestia, I was feeling SORRY for myself. This simply wouldn't do.

Flashes of  various incidents in my life seemed to leap up in my brain.

Crying and screaming like a puppy when Xolotl told me to leave because I simply couldn't handle how bad it made me feel; Feeling extreme rage and even fear at Luna and Celestia as I desperately tried to free myself from my stone prison;  The horrible guilt and loss at the realization that I had just betrayed my friends to Tirek and I had lost my magic.

I did not want to feel the tumultuous emotions churning inside me and fighting for attention. They needed to be numbed.  I needed to forget. Everything.

I needed to get drunk.

I can switch off the ability to get drunk very easily and to be honest, I don't do it very often. Why would I need to? I can conjure up almost anything I want. I'm high on life, but at that moment I really did not want to feel it so intently.

With a snap of my fingers I was in my unicorn disguise again, and making my way down the path from Ayer's Hoof towards the lights below in town.

I ended up at the pub I was at last time. The place was still full of dingos and earth ponies. I headed straight for the bar.

I was about to ask the bartender for three shots of the strongest liquor he had, and attempt to down them one after the other. No sense in dragging this out, let's get it over with. I wanted to be inebriated as fast as possible.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

I looked up in surprise at Ranger Spence. For a split second I thought he had finally discovered me, until I remembered I was in unicorn drag.

“Um...I guess?” I blurted out.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. It's been a rough day for me. I like to unwind here. If you'd rather be left alone, I'll understand.”

Alone. No, I definitely did not need to be left alone right now. I needed something to distract me.

“I'll have whatever he's having” I said to the bartender, and pulled my barstool closer for conversation.

“Two pints, please.”

The bartender obliged and Spence turned to me.

“I haven't seen you in here before.”

“Just passing through,” I half lied. “So, what is it that you do?”

“Me? I'm a park ranger, mostly.”

“Mostly?” I continued to play dumb.

“Well, since you're a yank, you might not have heard. We've been having a bit of bother with an interloper that may be some kind of chimera from overseas.”

“Is that so?” I sipped my pint.

“Well, actually you may have heard of him. Apparently he's a creature called a draconequus that may go by the name of Discord. A chaos spirit.”

“You speak as if there's more than one.”

“Well, we don't know very much about draconequui. Very little is known about their species.”

He was right there. I didn't even know much about my own species. Or even if there were others like me. It wouldn't surprise me if there were other draconequui out there. I know for a fact enough ponies and dragons have done the horizontal mambo throughout history to make “dragon-horses.” For some reason that sort of thing is rarer and even frowned upon in places now. I'm pretty sure, however, that I am the only chaos spirit. Unless you count Mother Nature.

He continued, “Have you heard anything at all from your neck of the woods?”

“Oh the government overseas is so incompetent,” I drawled. “You cannot imagine the messes the Equestrian royal council are constantly trying to fix. It wouldn't surprise me if they ballsed this one up spectacularly too.”

“So it came from there?”

“Undoubtedly,” I said, beginning to enjoy myself. “I've heard it's quite a cunning beast too.”

“You seem quite knowledgable about this creature.”

“I pick up drips and drabs of information in my travels.”

“Someone who has wanderlust, eh? How long are you in Horsestralia for?”

I thought about this. Did I want to stay here? Perhaps it was time to move on. The ranger had found me, even though he didn't realize it. It was only a matter of time before Celestia decided to try to put a stop to things.

“I guess I'll be moving on in a few days.”

“That's a shame.”

I raised an eyebrow. Before I could enquire WHY it was a shame, Spence had ordered us another round of pints.

“Say, what's your name? Mine's Spence.”

“Dusty,” I replied.

“Well, Dusty. Bottoms up.”

We spent the next few hours talking about travel, Horsetralian wildlife and the open road.

The alcohol began to affect me about 30 minutes in, and I was just going to go with it. It felt good to giggle like a silly schoolcolt after today and listen to this nice stallion and his stories. Nevermind the fact that he was trying to catch me—I wanted to forget, and the beer was making me feel warm and calm.

It was also making me rather flirty.

I am an incurable flirt at the best of times, but the alcohol was making my body language absolutely buzz with it. I often don't expect people to flirt back. I am mostly amused at the way flirting seems to make some people incredibly uncomfortable, especially stallions.

Which is why I certainly didn't expect Spence to put his hoof on my thigh.

“Well, hello,” I purred. Then I began to giggle uncontrollably.

“Do you know how cute you are right now?”

“Tell me,” I slurred.

I was so incredibly amused that the ranger that had been tracking me was now hitting on me. The novelty of it all made my head swim happily. Of course, part of that was the alcohol now swimming through my blood stream.

“I bet you have boys and girls going after you all the time.”

He was now quite drunk himself, and my laughter seemed infectious.

“Well...”

“Please tell me there's no one current.”

“Not really. There was a girl I liked, but that ship has sailed,” I said sadly, but while still grinning.

“Well, whoever she is, she missed a treat.”

“Flatterer!” I slammed my pint glass down on the table, spilling beer everywhere as I squeaked loudly enough to have several customers turn their heads to look at me.

“But true.”

He moved closer and I grinned foolishly.

The bartender gave us both dirty looks.

“I suppose you two will be wanting a room.”

I grinned inanely at him.

“In fact,” he continued pointedly, “I recommend you get one.”

“C'mon,” said Spence as he helped me to my feet. We staggered down the hallway where we began fumbling with each other. By that time I was a giggling mess, though still capable of coherent thought.

I remembered Baast. “Wait, wait,” I gasped in between kisses as he steered me towards the door. He stopped and looked at me quizzically.

“No strings right?” I said.

He looked relieved and laughed. “No strings.”

I grinned and dragged him into the bedroom, where I tripped and fell flat on my face. I laughed a bit harder than I should have at this. He helped me to my feet, then to the bed.

I could have used my powers to conjure up some facsimilie of a lover that night, but -I'm embarrassed to admit this-I also wanted to be held by someone real.  Before I let lust take over the last coherent thought I had before drifting off was “he isn't Fluttershy".

---

Hours later I was laying in bed while staring at the ceiling and  trying to weigh up whether I should sneak out while Spence snored next to me. I got rid of my hangover easily enough with magic. Without the alcohol to dull my senses I was beginning to think again, and right now I just felt like escaping.

Turns out I didn't have to wallow in moral agony for long.

“DUST STORM!!” came the cry from outside.

A low rumbling was approaching from about a mile away. I could sense static in the air.  I leapt to my feet, and ran out to the bar area again.

“Looks like it's a doozy,” said a Dingo to me. “We're gonna head off if you want a lift?”

“Thanks but I've got my own,” I lied.

The dingo shrugged. “Suit yourself. I ain't staying here.”

I watched everyone flee as I sat at the bar. Some of them gave me surprised looks but on the whole they were busy trying to save their own butts. When they had all driven off and the rumbling had increased I snapped my fingers and returned to my former self.

I was planning to just sit there as the storm hit. Maybe just sit at the bar sipping a drink as debris flew and crashed past me. Maybe the storm would take me too.

Then I remembered Spence. Oh crap. If this dust storm really was that powerful I couldn't just leave him here, even if he had been unmemorable in bed.

I wandered into the room and picked him up.

He moaned as he began to awaken and the headache hit him.

“Wha...?” He began.

“Shut up,” I said. “There's a dust storm coming. I'm going to drop you off just outside of its berth and then you can sort yourself out.”

“Dusty?” he croaked as he looked up at me.

“It's going to be,” I said.

Then with a snap of my fingers he was high up on Ayer's Hoof  as he watched the rolling, sparking dust cloud destroy the bar and inn below.

In a few hours the storm was gone, and so was I.

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