It was obvious that getting blind, stinking drunk and shagging someone while being blind, stinking drunk, even when that person was also blind, stinking drunk wasn't going to solve any long term problems. When my head had cleared a little enough for me to think straight again, I decided I was going to write Fluttershy back, but not right away. Right now everything felt much too raw.

Oh, I tried to distract myself, but at night my mind and hormones combined as if they were conspiring against me and giggling in the corner:

"Look at Discord, he thinks he forgot about that pegasus today, but then I gave him one of those dreams where he woke up gasping."

"Oh yes, the way he groans when I make him think he's actually enjoying her body is priceless!"

"He makes the strangest noises during erotic dreams."

"Haha, I know!"

"He's got it bad."

"He does."

"Also, he kicks and babbles in his sleep."

"Freak!"

I did say my mind never shuts up, didn't I?

There were no kookaburras and koalas to interrupt my sleeping time anymore, so I often woke up gasping and with a stupidly satisfied smile on my face. Then I would realize I was awake and that I wanted to forget the possibility of such things.

Yeah, I could have conjured up Facsimile Fluttershy during super fun happy time, but that would just remind me that it wasn't real, and the last thing I wanted was the reminder that good things aren't real. Everyone thinks being able to magically summon things you want is always a good thing. It can be, until you realize you could lose yourself in fantasy completely and then might not want to live in the real world.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, as usual.

When I left Horsestralia, there were quite a few places I could have gone to, but I decided another island might be best. This was down to several factors--Mother Nature seems  to thrive on islands. I really did need to talk to her some more. If nothing else, maybe she could comfort me. Tell me I wasn't a total screw up.

I once asked Mother Nature what I was for.

In hindsight this was a ridiculous thing to ask, not because I know the answer now but because nature doesn't answer your questions. I could suggest things to her, and she might use them but on the whole she will exist with or without me. I stopped asking her questions she wouldn't answer ages ago. Instead I was hoping she would run soothing waves over me and tell me she valued who I was. I needed some rest and relaxation.

I arrived in Gallopgascar just after noon. I teleported onto an elephant bird's nest, where the mother bird proceeded to attempt to peck me to death as she defended her unborn chick. Then she gave me a good, hard kick across the chest and flung me several meters where I landed in an awkward position.

That was when I realized I had landed on something lumpy. Or more precisely, a pony. Or even more precisely, a zebra.

I scrambled to my feet and looked down at him. He seemed to be breathing, but in a rasping, crooked way. I suspect he had encountered the elephant bird in a similar way I did. Only he didn't have any magic to heal himself.

"Hey, you ok?" I said, poking his side gingerly with my paw.

Even the gentle movement caused him to wince and grit his teeth. Crap. He probably had broken ribs. Maybe even a punctured lung.

"Can you speak?" I asked.

His mouth moved, and the barely audible whisper of "tribe...north..." emerged from it.

I sighed. People. People who probably spoke in rhymes. Of course.

I couldn't heal him myself. Though I could use my magic to fix injuries to my own body, I wasn't able to do it for others. As someone who thrived on disharmony I was very good at taking things apart but not putting them back together again. He needed medicine from his own people.

I like most things about Zebras- they are much, much more connected to nature than ponies are. They use a lot of plant magic. Or to put it bluntly, they understand the hallucinogenic, magical properties of plants. They like getting hiiiigh, man.  Ponies kind of frown upon this because of their (laughable) belief in completely harmonious magic that can always be controlled. Zebras on the other hand realize nature isn't something you buck with. Thus Zebras understand the type of magic I wield and that Mother Nature works through.

However, when I said I like "most things" it does of course mean there's something they do that I absolutely despise.

I can't stand the rhyming. Neatly saying everything in words that match each other all the damn time grates on my ears. Maybe it's because I am a chaos being, I don't know. I just know it makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury my face in it. When I was a colt I remember someone trying to sing me a nursery rhyme and I screamed so loudly I ended up shattering a glacier and making the birds fly NORTH for the winter.

I snapped my fingers and a magical field enveloped him, moving him off the ground without putting any pressure on him. He floated alongside me as I began to head north. I made sure I gave the elephant bird a wide berth.

After hours of walking through the forest, the smell of smoke hit my nostrils.

I stumbled into a group of Baobab trees in a circle. The village was built on a place of power that was something akin to my vine patch back in Horsestralia.

Zebras were going about their business preparing food and unpacking bundles of dried plants. Suddenly all movement and conservation stopped when they noticed me and my floating, near-unconscious companion. I was suddenly aware that this looked as if I had been the culprit.

“Er...” I began.

“The chaos spirit is here, there is much to fear!” cried out one of the Zebras.

Oh dear Celestia. The rhyming.

“No, wait a minute,” I said after I had gritted my teeth involuntarily at the matching sounds of the zebra's speech. “I didn't do this. I found him like this near an elephant bird nest. He was probably kicked.”

They continued to look at me suspiciously.

“He needs help!” I growled. “Are you just going to stand here and gawk at me?”

This seemed to rouse them as they became more aware of their fallen brethren.

“Bring him this way, then we will see if you pay.”

I winced then floated the wounded zebra through the hut door. Once he was on a bed and medicine was being prepared, I was pushed outside and the hut door slammed in my face.

I sat outside the hut and waited for hours while zebras continued to walk past and glare at me. I didn't feel threatened by them, however. I could leave any time I wanted. However, part of me wanted them to know for certain that I wasn't to blame for this chap's misfortune; if nothing else to prove them wrong. Then maybe gloat about it.

Around dusk one of the zebras that had been treating the injured emerged from the hut.

“Chaos spirit,” she said simply.

This zebra seemed much older than the rest of the tribe. She had a wise but weathered face and wore a necklace made of seed pods. I guessed correctly that she was probably the matriarch of the tribe.

I waited tensely for the rhyming couplet which never came. Instead she said “You claim not to be the cause of this, but your reputation would indicate otherwise.”

“I get blamed for everything,” I said nonchalantly while examining my claws.

“Nevertheless, we must find out the truth.”

She whinnied and another zebra emerged carrying a tray of tiny gourds.

“We will find out through the memory potion.”

They handed me a gourd of the magical drink. The very same kind Zecora had given Twilight when she wanted to look at the memories of Celestia, Luna and myself.

Memory potion can't help you remember your own memories, but it can help you view those of another. It's actually banned in several countries due to people abusing it as a form of mind reading. I didn't need memory potion to read minds, but everyone knocked back the drink and I followed suit anyway. A bright flash of white light enveloped my senses, then I was back where I had found the wounded zebra. The elephant bird was no where to be seen, but the egg lay on the nest like a huge polished stone.

Then I saw the zebra I had found approaching the nest. Was he nuts?

Okay, I admit I once used to mess with elephant birds myself. I once took an egg and put a hole in it with my claw then covered up the hole with a bit of sand. I then appeared in the High Jackal's bed chambers and left it above his canopied bed. During sexytimes with his wife a wave of rotten egg smell would permeate the place. It was obviously a mood killer.

It took him weeks to figure out where the smell was coming from. Once he did he demanded my head. He had no way of knowing I had done it, but he sought to blame me anyway. Of course the fact that I had done it isn't the point. He had no proof, you see.

I watched the zebra continue to stealthily approach the nest. He reached the egg and just as he placed his hooves on it a huge foot kicked him in the chest. He went flying into the trunk of a tree and I winced as I heard something snap.

Then the vision faded.

The old zebra mare turned to face the crowd.

"It would appear some people here were quick to judge.”

Some of the crowd shuffled their hooves and looked ashamed.

The zebra mare turned to me. “Thank you for saving my son".

"He cushioned my fall, it was the least I could do. Hey, how come you don't speak in rhymes?"

"Who says I don't?"

"Okay, why don't you speak in rhymes? Not that I mind--I am, to put it mildly, relieved that someone here speaks without sounding like they're going to break into a rendition of 'Pop Goes the Weasel' every five seconds."

"It's the best way to communicate with a chaos being."

"You got that right."

She nodded.

“Have you got a name, or shall I call you Old Grey Zebra Mare?” I joked.

She smiled, but not with her eyes.

“It's Zoena. I know your name, Chaos Spirit,” she said when I started to introduce myself. “We all do. What I am intrigued to know is why you are here.”

“I'll answer that if you tell me why your son was trying to steal an elephant bird egg.”

She smiled. “He was trying to impress a girl.”

“Idiot! Doesn't he realize those things can disembowel with one kick? Elephant birds, I mean. Not girls. Well, maybe they can, but I've never seen it.”

“Perhaps. But in matters of the heart one does not always think logically. For example, I was no where near as calm earlier as I am now that I know he is all right. In fact, I am willing to bet you have followed your heart often and it has gotten you into trouble.”

She said the last part with a grin.

“Once or twice maybe” I said, waving my paw in the air.

“This of course, does not mean I'm not going to yell at my son later. Now, you promised to tell me why you are here.”

I sighed. I did need someone to talk to.

“I'll tell you. But you alone. I don't want to listen to anymore bad poetry.”

“This way.”

She led me to a larger hut where a fire was going. The warm glow and the folded blankets and mats on the floor looked welcoming after what seemed like such a warm and eventful day.

“Come, sit,” said Zoena. She handed me a cup of mint and root tea which I took gratefully.

I told her everything. About my friendship with the ponies, about having to go away. About Fluttershy.

“Aha!” she laughed uproariously. “You are doing stupid things for a girl too!”

“What? No. I went away precisely so I wouldn't do stupid things.”

“Are you sure that going away wasn't a stupid thing to do?”

“What is this, the Equestrian Inquisition?”

She smiled, the crow's feet at the sides of her eyes becoming more prominent.

“You are blushing.”

I muttered a curse word under my breath.

“Okay, it may have been a bit extreme leaving. But trust me, it was for the best.”

“It's not like you to practice restraint.”

“I'm full of surprises.”

“You must be in love with her.”

I said nothing.

Zoena got up. “I think it is time for me to take my rest. And you also look tired. Sleep well.You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to, chaos spirit.”

Yeah, fat chance with all the amateur poets.

But I did stay, for quite a while. Aside from the rhyming (sometimes I just shoved some leaves in my ears) I enjoyed the company of the zebras. We cooked and ate together. I even helped them identify plants for their brews. I was beginning to like Zoena. She reminded me of Twilight and Luna—easy to wind up but equally fun to banter with.

She even put up with me biting my tail and rolling around and around her like a living Ouroboros singing “Old Grey Zebra ain't what she used to be.”

Well, to a point. She did fling her cane at me once. But she did it with love, I swear!

Regardless, I was starting to feel a bit happier and though the rhyming was still annoying, I could tolerate it for short periods of time. When I got sick of it I'd sunbathe in a tree or run through the field chasing fireflies and ghost moths or spend time "talking" with Mother Nature.

There was still a problem though. My heart still ached.

I should be used to it by now, but I wasn't. It was my own fault. I shouldn't have let my guard down. But then, what choice did I have but to start to trust the ponies when I released from my stone prison for a second time? Refuse and go back into stone? Yeah, and you'd totally sit on a cactus a second time.  But opening up to people meant I was feeling things again.

Everyone (mostly the ponies that tell their foals that if they don't behave Discord the Boogeyhorse will get them) thinks I have no feelings; that I am cold and callous. I can be, but the idea that I have no feelings at all is a myth. I'm just very good at hiding them.

Except when I was released from stone I got less adept at doing so.

Then one day Zoena suggested, "Maybe you could try some tea."

This isn't actually as banal as it sounds.

It's not a platitude suggesting that a cup of chamomile might fix everything. "Tea" in this context is actually a powerful brew made from the vines of several woody plants (including Poison Joke Weed) that the Zebras use to go on spiritual journeys.

It can be a frightening experience for many. I once saw a group of younger zebras steal some from the elders and run off to a field to take it and about 40 minutes later they were crying and screaming for their mommies.

It was hysterical. Even Zoena stifled a giggle.

Anyway, the tea causes powerful chaotic hallucinations. When you go on the journey, you are supposed to make meaning out whatever it is you saw while under the influence of  the concoction. It takes several tries and many years of training for a Zebra to master the art of this. Some of them cave in under the horror of it all. It strips their souls bare and the way it takes you on a roller-coaster ride you can't stop is enough to unnerve some for days.

I, on the other hand am the Master of Chaos. Oh yes, I have tried this tea in the past. It was a lovely experience. I remember feeling incredibly happy and light. Like I never wanted to leave.

Which is exactly why I never tried it again.

I'm worried I'll lose myself in how amazing it feels. Being surrounded by pure chaos is amazing, but also completely immersive. Taking it would be a risk.

But hey, I had all the time in the world, didn't I?

However, I felt I should think about it for a little bit and asked Zoena to give me some time to decide before she started making the brew.

I sat out in the field under the stars watching the fireflies mingle in the inky blackness. Taking the tea might clear my head. It might make me forget the ache in my heart.

Pine sounded like a loving and protective pony that understood Fluttershy. That was all that was important, wasn't it? I sighed and stared up at the night sky. Like I said, I never felt jealousy because Fluttershy was happy. I felt jealousy at the fact that I knew I couldn't make her happy the way he probably could. The way lots of people probably could.

I needed to get over it. Stop being a grumpy gus, Discord.

Maybe a quick trip on some tea would be what I needed.

I walked back into the village around dusk, where I found Zoena staring into the fire intently.

"So, Chaos Spirit. What is the consensus?" she said without turning around.

I rubbed my eagle arm with my lion paw.

"I'll do it."

---

Zoena accompanied me to the area of the forest I had chosen to have my journey in. She had wrapped me in a blanket in some sort of ceremonial gesture. Or maybe when zebras took the tea they got cold and it was a comfort thing.

I sat down on a tree stump while Zoena unpacked the tea things. She uncorked a gourd and poured the steaming brew into a smaller hollowed out gourd that had been fashioned to make a bowl. The pungent smell of the mixture filled my nostrils.

"I must leave now, Discord. But go well in your journey. Hopefully you will learn something."

"Sure," I said. I just wanted her to leave so I could begin relaxing. I wasn't interested in "learning" anything.

I waited until I could no longer hear her hooves crunching on the leaves of the forest floor, then downed the tea in one gulp. Then I lay back on a patch of moss, wrapped in Zoena's blanket.

I could see the Milky Way through the gaps in the trees--splashes of silver across the inkiness of the deep black sky.

The tea was beginning to hit me and my limbs felt both heavy and like they were floating at the same time. The soft moss I was laying on felt like it was eating me up with its velvety goodness. I laughed at all of the chaotic shapes appearing above my head. They tried biting me and it felt like a tickle.  I turned my head to the side and squinted at a soft glow a few feet away.

The glow started off as a roughly circular blob, then slowly it uncurled and something looking like a long snake-like dragon made from mist started floating across my vision.

I felt Mother Nature curl around me and I snuggled against her.

I felt...peaceful.

If that's a word that can be used for someone such as myself.

Yes, I thought to myself. I'm fine on my own. And Fluttershy is fine with Douglas Fir...or Pine, or whatever his name was. I warm feeling of happiness for her came over me. I didn't need to go back...I could just lay here and watch the stars.

The long wispy dragon moved elegantly around in circles in the air, then something that looked like a wave joined it, curling like mist or smoke. It intermingled with the dragon until the two shapes were an indistinguishable mess swirling in the night air.

I grinned at the shapes then closed my eyes.

----

When I opened them, a shaft of sunlight was breaking through the trees. The birds were calling in their morning quest for food. I could see dragonflies floating lazily above me. Occasionally one would land on my snout. I blew gently until it took to the air again.

Everything felt right.

After a few hours of basking in my newly found contentment, I decided to make my way back to the village. I wanted to tell Zoena all about the way I was feeling—like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I hummed to myself as I walked back along the path.

I could smell the smoke of the village as I approached but I couldn't actually see the smoke plume. In fact, I couldn't actually see the huts. Instead, in their place was a pile of grey sand. I stared in confusion for a few seconds, until I realized it wasn't sand at all. It was a pile of ashes.

The trees around the remains of the village were blackened and leafless. Everything had burnt to the ground. If there had been anything living here it had moved on days ago. I must have been out of it for days.

I bent down near a pile of ashes and poked at the remains of a blanket.

I stayed at the village remains for days, watching the sun rise and set. I waited.

And waited. But no one ever came back, if indeed there was anyone left.

They were gone. And once again, my heart ached.

Stupid Discord. This is what you get for getting attached to people.

Rather than teleporting somewhere this time, I decided to go to the coast and get on the first ship out of there. I didn't want to choose my destination this time. Whatever. Take me anywhere but here. As I boarded the first vessel I found I looked out across the hills of Gallopgascar. Something welled up in me and my eyes stung.

After days at sea, the vessel reached its destination- Anugypt.

I donned my unicorn disguise and wandered into the bustling streets. After days at sea I felt tired and hungry, so I decided to find a cafe and munch on something there. I asked the waiter for a tagine and some cake, and when he wasn't looking I conjured up a glass of fizzy coconut water.

I people-watched as I ate and tried to clear my head. Jackals, ponies and cats wandered past. Anugypt had become a lot more diverse since the High Jackal Anubis's reign ended. I, of course played a part in that. I like diversity. Homogenous societies are so boring. So I pleased to see the population now included cats, jackals, ponies and purple dragons...

Purple dragon!? What?

I appeared in a flash in front of the dragon's path just as he crashed into me.

"Who are you?" I demanded to know.

The dragon looked up at me in a daze and squinted.

"Discord?"

"No, I'm Discord." I said, annoyed. "Who are you?"

"It's me! Spike!"

"Spike?" I said, feeling dumbfounded. He looked a lot taller and more streamlined than when I had last seen him.

"Have you had some kind of growth spurt?" I asked.

He looked pleased at this statement and practically preened. "I guess I have!" he said, grinning.

"What are you doing here?"

"We are here on Princess Celestia's orders," said Spike.

"We?"

"Discord!"

"That's my name, don't wear it out," I said, turning to voice that had come from behind me, only to come face to face with Twilight.

I actually beamed. "Sparklepoo!" I shouted. "Fancy seeing you here! I guess Borelestia has you moving on to bigger things now that she's sending you further afield."

Twilight was standing there with her mouth open. A look of shock and bewilderment on her face. She looked taller somehow.

"Oh, come on." I said. "I know I'm devastatingly handsome, but try to be subtle about your ogling, please. You're embarrassing yourself.”

Twilight managed to regain some of her composure.

"We thought you were gone for good! We even worried you were dead!"

"Oh, Twilight!" I laughed. "I very much doubt you would miss me that much after only a couple of months."

"A couple of months?" she snarled angrily. "Are you kidding me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Discord, the last letter anyone received from you was eleven years ago. You've been gone for twelve."

"Come again?"

"Twelve years, Discord!"

My left ear twitched once as I tried to fight the urge to just drop my jaw and leave it hanging open as flies wandered in.

It came to me all in a rush. It all fit-- Spike being much older, Twilight growing taller as she grew into her role as Celestia's successor.

Twilight closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Fluttershy was devastated."

My thoughts snapped back home quickly at the mention of Fluttershy's name.

"Is she with you?"

"We're all here," said Twilight. "But you have some explaining to do."

Spike and Twilight looked at me with concern when I sat on the ground and took a huge breath. I was trying not to panic. I felt like I was going to faint.

"I need to see her," I said. Next Chapter: Trickster in Love Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 28 Minutes