I remember once, when I was young, I watched a bird fishing. It dived head first into a hole in an ice pack and came up with a trout which it gorged on high up in the branch of a tree. I felt my belly growl as I watched the bird. It had been a while since I'd eaten and I wasn't really adept at  conjuring food up back then as I am now.

Me being me, I thought “I can do that! No problem!” and decided to dive head first into the hole.

My antler caught on the edge and I ended up breaking my neck in 17 places, and I don't need to tell you have quite a long neck. The bird preened his feathers a little, looked at me struggling on the ice pack's surface all bloody and broken and shook his head as he flew off. Jerk.

I have never been able to avoid doing things that are in some way, shape or form bad for me. However, next time when I saw a hole in an ice pack, I waited until a bird came along and pulled out a fish, then I pounced on the bird and stole it. Then the next time I was the bird, and I folded my wings against my body as I dove cleanly into the water and came up with my lunch. The next time I did it I was a bird with several subcutaneous fat layers under my feathers so that the dive into the ice hole wasn't as mind-numbingly shocking.

My point is, if I didn't do stupid things once in a while I wouldn't have ended up as intelligent as I am now.

I have observed a lot of beings doing things in a clever and efficient manner, but very few of those beings  had a repertoire beyond what they were good at. The fish-eating bird was good at catching fish, but he wouldn't have been very good at hunting down deer, or say, driving a forklift.  I wanted to be a good at everything, and my mother taught me how to be while I challenged her, and I think that is why she and I get on so well.

“Discord,” she would say to me (well, she wouldn't as much say it as sort of make me feel it, but for the purposes of clarity I'm going to write “say”), “I'm proud of you. That flock of locusts invading that city and the nearby crops and laying waste to everything was a stroke of genius. I love my locusts, but making them multiply in the BILLIONS, well son--you're going places.”

“Well, no one else appeared to appreciate it.”

“People don't always appreciate us, son. You will have to get used to that.”

I don't think I need to tell you that my mother, as well as being kind and gentle, could also go through periods where she needed to let off steam. In a way, this was HER version of stretching, and that meant earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, you name it. I sometimes had a hand in this, and sometimes I didn't. Mostly I didn't, she did all the heavy lifting on her own. My part in it all was to add some variation. Sometimes a tornado was weak, or never touched the ground. Sometimes it blasted everything in its path out of existence. Sometimes the pegasi would fight back.

My mother was not a fan of pegasi, at least not pegasi as they are today.

Since they are mainly weather-workers, and try to regiment everything from the clouds to the hail, they mess up her work. This infuriates her, and I must admit I agree with her. Weather isn't meant to be controlled, it's meant to be given a little push and then blossom on its own. What's more interesting? A controlled breeze, or the wind blowing through your fur on a blustery day? I certainly know which one is more exhilarating.

Ponies and their ridiculous obsession with order. They miss so much. They try so hard to manage everything that they forget to live.

I knew a ranger had been tracking me for some time. I could smell him. He wasn't sure WHAT he was tracking of course, he'd just received reports of a strange animal being sighted at Ayers Hoof.

“What else?” he'd sighed wearily, as for the past 4 months he'd received sightings of floating palm trees, pink warthogs, Ayers Hoof  appearing as a completely spherical rock, and a giant cantaloupe rolling across the plains as it chased terrified sheep. He'd also had to close one of the parks down because of the drunken koalas. I was dismayed about this, as closed parks meant they had no tourists to fall onto, but on the plus side they also weren't falling onto me any more as I tried to nap.

This particular ranger's name was Spence. Like most of the ponies whose ancestors had colonized Horsestralia, he was an earth pony. With a dark mane and orange fur, he almost mirrored the swatches of the earth at Horsetralia itself.

I knew he was getting closer to finding out who I was. The natives may not have written about me, but most of the rest of the world would know who I was and what I was capable of. He knew enough to suspect that magic was involved.

I didn't want to leave Ayer's Hoof. I was having a ball. I could have wiped his mind, but I'd made a promise to a certain pony not to do things like that anymore. Blast it.

So instead, I assumed my usual form when I wanted to be incognito but not live under a rock- the same I had used when tracking down Tirek. It's true that unicorns were not commonly seen in Horsetralia, but enough tourists passed through the area so that my presence would not be an oddity.

I headed for the nearby town of Muletijulu. If there was any information to be gathered I'd hear about it from the locals there.

I wandered into a bar that was serving the usual fare and drinks for the area. Most of the locals were ponies, but there were a few kangaroos and dingoes occupying corners of the pub as well. I sat at the bar and ordered a beer. All I had to do now was wait...

*                           *                                *

I returned to Ayer's Rock at sundown. I felt drained. The locals hadn't said much. In fact, they had been downright unhelpful. Mistrustful of strangers, and I was a stranger. I'd tried striking up a conversation with the barman but he seemed rather busy.

Frustrated, I decided next time I'd go as a dingo instead of a unicorn. They'd be more likely to talk to their own kind perhaps. I'd get info out of them one way or another. I couldn't let Ranger Spence ruin my fun.

It had been a long day. I leaned against the tree I usually slept under and literally melted into a puddle with tired eyes. Then my line of vision moved across to the sky- the kookaburra had arrived  with a letter.

I leapt across to snatch it up, turning back to my solid form in mid air as I tore open the envelope.

Dear Discord,

I'm really happy to hear from you.

The night sky at Ayers Hoof sounds incredible! I hope I can see it some day. I have been looking at Jupiter with Twilight's new telescope some evenings and I can even see some of the moons.

Sometimes I wish you were here to talk to. I felt as though I could talk about some things with you that my other friends don't understand. I feel like a bad friend sometimes, because I worry that I'm not as strong as Applejack or Rainbow Dash, or as smart as Twilight or funny as Pinkie Pie. And I'm definitely not as pretty as Rarity! I know it's wrong to feel envious of your friends, but sometimes I feel like I did back in flight school...

Before I had left, and before I had stomped all over her friendship by running off to play with Tirek, she had expressed similar worries, and in typical Fluttershy fashion had apologized to no one in particular that she had felt that way.

“My dear, you worry far too much about these things. I don't think there's a pony on earth that hasn't looked at another pony and compared themselves to others. Not that you need to- just between you and me, your friends are kind of poopy-heads, but I may be slightly biased in that regard.”

She gasped a little. “They are not....p-poopyheads.”

“Oh, alright. I concede they might not be, but you have to admit they seem to be lacking in the sense of humour department, with the exception of Pinkie Pie, though I do wish she would stop calling me a big meanie.”

“Um, you did make it snow inside the Cake's shop.”

A dreamy look came across my face as I remembered that. The day's baking had been ruined, but the snowball fight between Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and myself had lasted hours, until the Princess of Anal Retentiveness showed up, and of course Fluttershy was with her so I'd had to put everything back the way it was. Oh well.

As if on cue, I noticed Twlight coming up the garden path before Fluttershy did and I snapped my fingers. Quick as a flash I had turned into a raven and flown up into a nearby tree. Normally I was keen to annoy Twilight but I didn't feel like talking to anyone who wasn't Fluttershy that day, and a large black bird wouldn't look out of place among Fluttershy's usual menagerie.

“Fluttershy? I thought I heard you talking to someone?”

Fluttershy looked back quickly at Twilight then to me. She twigged that I wasn't going to make my presence known and said “Um, no...I just...was”

Twilight cut her off cheerfully--“Well, I've come to deliver that book you wanted to borrow.”

She pulled out a book on bird watching.

“Oh! Thanks...I've been dying to have a look at this one!”

Twilight scuffed her hoof on the ground.

“Well, actually. I've come for another reason. Princess Celestia wondered how are you getting on with Discord?”

I cawed, a sound that was suspiciously similar to the words “ goaway.”

Fluttershy ignored me and said “He's doing very well, actually. I really think he's learning to respect other pony's feelings.”

“goway now.”

Twilight seemed to have not registered my cawing.

“I really think we've turned a corner with regards to him learning that friendship is important,” Fluttershy continued. “I...I'm actually very proud of him.”

She actually beamed at Twilight.

“Uh, well...that's good to hear,” said Twilight carefully. “Just...well, Fluttershy. Princess Celestia and I know you're doing a great job and Discord does seem to have made progress, it's just...”

“Just...?”

“I-I just worry about you. I know Discord is your friend, but I think it would be wise to not forget what he really is.”

My next caw got stuck in my throat.

“What he really is?”

Twilight nodded at Fluttershy. “He's a trickster. You can't ever completely trust him. It's in his nature.”

Fluttershy practically bristled.

“Twilight, how are we supposed to make him understand friendship if we can't even be genuine about our friendship?”

“Is HE genuine about being friends? Because he has a funny way of showing it. It took me ages to get the tar out of the bath tub. I couldn't exactly just pour it all down the plughole!”

“I spoke to him about that and he promised not to do it again.”

“No, I'm sure he won't. He'll just find some other way to annoy me.”

I couldn't argue there.

Fluttershy sighed. “Look, Twilight. He is trying. I know he is. He says it's hard for him not to use his chaos magic.”

“And you believe him? Fluttershy, I know you want to believe the best in Discord, but I'm just worried about you. You are my friend, and I don't want to see you get hurt.”

Fluttershy looked torn. “I know. But I think you all need to give Discord more of a chance. He's been alone for a long time.”

Twilight smiled sadly at  Fluttershy. “You really are kindness personified,” she said and hugged Fluttershy goodbye.

I waited until she was out of earshot.

“See, I told you your friends didn't like me very much,” I said from my branch.

“ You aren't very nice to them either. Maybe if you made more of an effort, I think if you just give them time, they will come to realize that your chaos isn't all bad. Like when you made my animals talk to me.”

“Well, I didn't so much MAKE them talk to you as allow you to understand them, but you seem to do that pretty well without the power of speech. And besides, truth be told I sort of don't care what your other friends think of me.”

“Does that mean you don't care what I think?”

I flew down to her and perched on her shoulder.

“Not you, my dear. I care very much about your opinions on my chaos. Especially concerning moi. Can we talk about moi some more?” I teased, then pulled strands of her mane out of her face with my beak. She tried to look stern with me but ended up giggling.

Just under a year later I would betray her.

I continued reading the letter:

I really want to feel more confident, and I know I've improved over the past few years, but somehow I'll always feel like that filly that fell from the sky. It's really hard to forget the things that happened to me back then while everypony else seems to not give it a second thought. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love my friends, and they seem perfect, and it's exactly because they seem perfect that I feel I can't talk to them about things that feel...imperfect. Does that make sense?

It did very much make sense.

You don't mind being not perfect. I wish I could do that sometimes- not care too much about how I come across and just be content to look after my animals and read quietly and not have to worry that any pony thinks I'm weak and not worth anything.

I just see how confident Rarity and Twilight are around stallions and I never really have been. I've had coltfriends of course but for some reason

I'm sorry if this letter has been mostly “girl talk” I've just not been feeling great lately, and I miss our conversations by the fire.

I felt like my chest was going to cave in. Fluttershy had saved Ponyville along with her friends multiple times. The town and most of Equestria thought of her and the others as heroes, they had the highest honour bestowed upon them from the Princesses, she had forgiven me for my transgressions, yet Fluttershy still worried that she was worth nothing.

I'm not stupid, I understand how low self-esteem works. You can look like a supermodel yet still think you've got the face of a kicked mule. In my case, I looked like someone had sewn together an assortment of hunting trophies then decided to add manic pixie dust.  I quite like my appearance; it confuses people. They are never quite sure if I'm predator or prey, though I am fully aware that in the world of conventional pony aesthetics, I look like a monster.

Stallions did seem to notice Rarity the most. She wasn't my type (far too organized and terrified of dirt) but I knew most males didn't seem to care about things like that.

I snapped my fingers and a quill started writing out my reply on parchment.

Dear Fluttershy...

I was suddenly stuck. What I wanted to write might not be wise. I wanted to write that Fluttershy was gorgeous and brave, and that it didn't matter whether or not she felt she wasn't, because imperfection is interesting and never boring, and she was never boring to me. I wanted to tell her that no one had ever shown me what it felt like to be cared about until she decided to be my friend.  I wanted to write that when I was around her, time seemed to slow down. I could see myself continuing to write along those lines until it was a disaster and I revealed too much. I really did feel a kind of terror at this. I both wanted to give into what I had to say and wanted to run screaming into the dark at the thought that this could ruin everything. I had to do something I rarely did-- I had to edit my thoughts.

Dear Fluttershy,

I assure you that you are not weak and “worth-nothing”. Worth “noting” perhaps, but not the other thing.  While I am tempted to blame your poopy-friends for not communicating well enough with you about feeling this way  I shall refrain as I know it makes you frowny.

Now, on to your other concerns...

I know this might not make a dent, but you are certainly not unattractive...

She's stunning, you idiot. It's like saying the ocean is “somewhat wet.”

...so it might just be your shyness stopping you from meeting potential beaus.

Maybe it's time to go out and play the field somewhat? Perhaps Rarity could introduce you to a few of these stallions and who knows? Maybe you might find one you get on with. Life's too short, girl. At least it is for everyone who isn't me.

Or if the non-direct approach is wearing thin, you KNOW you're capable of being assertive with a stallion and telling him what you want.

In short, put on some killer horseshoes and go out and drag a stallion to his doom.

Your Pal,

Discord.

The kookaburra took the letter in the morning. I watched it disappear into the distance until it was a small black line against the sky.

I didn't know it then, but I had just done something that was bad for me.

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