The fetid town of Ponyville burned. The once green earth lay blackened and razed, those insufferable Disney themed buildings were ablaze in flames, consuming their charmingly rustic exteriors. Those trapped inside screamed and wailed as the flames surrounded them, consuming the air and feeding off their despair. A lucky few would be claimed by the noxious fumes of the smoke-- coughing harshly and their throats burning as the toxic chemicals irritated their throat and lungs and those unluckier still would be cooked to death by the glorious flames.

The outside of the houses fared little better. The sky’s normally gentle blue had been overcome by a sinister crimson tinge that bathed this whole accursed pastel land in an ominous red glow. Across the streets lay rubble, upturned earth and various other debris and intermingled among them were the corpses of ponies. Unicorn, earth, pegasi, there were no exceptions.

Those who were still alive ran for their lives as Daedra of all kinds chased after them. Dremora lords in plated armor wielded longswords, sharpened to the point they could cut stone with ease, cruel battleaxes capable of splitting the sturdiest of creatures in half and massive warhammers. Scores of ponies fell as they were hacked to pieces, stabbed, crushed or completely bisected in half.

Any who attempted to put up a resistance were terminated with extreme prejudice. Frost, Storm and Flame Atronachs joined the fray, the latter lobbing fireballs, indiscriminately setting everything and anything on fire-- Storm Atronachs, wielding one of nature’s most devastating forces, fired lightning bolts with pinpoint precision, their victims exploding in a messy burst of blood, bone and pulpy bits of gore as the sheer heat and intensity of the lightning strikes literally fried their insides, boiling their blood and searing their guts and entrails. Frost Atronachs barreled forward, engaging the lesser equines in full frontal assault, their massive ice bodies able to repel bolts, swords and spear thrusts with ease. Over four times the size of a pony, they simply crushed their victims underneath their massive ‘feet’, using their superior size and weight to their advantage, and the poor saps who thought their primitive, medieval abodes would protect them were in for an unpleasant surprise as the ice behemoths broke through the walls of their mud shacks with ease.

No one was spared. Those who attempted to flee were accosted by the Scamps-- small, goblin-like Daedra who swarmed in overwhelming numbers, their sharp claws and needle-like teeth tearing and rending flesh from their unfortunate victims with ease, reducing them to nothing but bones in less than a minute. The stench of mud was overcome by that of death as in less than an hour, the whole entire village now ran red with blood. None were left alive. The Daedra feasted on the flesh of the dead.

It was glorious…

“Febreze? Did you hear me?”

And just like that, I was broken out of my daydream and brought back to the crappy reality of reality.

“Huh?” I looked around, noting with disappointment that everything was still normal. The sky was still blue, the town was still intact and the streets were most certainly not littered with body parts, hacked ponies or stained red with blood.

"The spa, dear. Don't you think a trip there would be nice?" asked Rarity.

"Yeah, sure," I shrugged, not caring either way.

"Ah, splendid! Oh, you are just going to love it, I promise you. They have this hot herbal bath that leaves you so very clean, and the mud they use in their mud baths is imported straight from Atlantaur; some of the best in the world, don't you know. And Lotus gives the most heavenly massages. Why you'll feel as if your bones are made of putty, you simply have to try it--"

Stop... please, for the love of all that is good and holy, stop.

Rarity trailed ahead of us, lost in her own little world. Twilight shot me a sympathetic look and leaned close.

"You'll have to forgive Rarity. She means well but sometimes forgets not all ponies share her enthusiasms."

"Just never been much for the spa scene..."

Twilight giggled. "Neither was I before I came to Ponyville. Rarity had to practically drag me from my studies and into the spa."

"And you like it now?"

"Of course. Before coming to live here, I would never even dream of stepping into a spa. I realize now a trip every once in awhile is very enjoyable. It helps me de-stress and forget about my worries for a while, and let me tell you, that is something I definitely need."

I hummed and considered this for a moment. "Because you're a princess, right?"

She considered this for a moment. "A little of that, a little because I tend to burnout whenever I get carried away in my studies-- but what I'm trying to say is that I've come to rely on these trips to help me relax. And without Rarity, I never would have discovered this... probably for the rest of my life. It's because I made friends with her that my eyes were opened to new experiences."

"I guess that's true."

It was a fair point, I'll admit. And hey, if I'm going to be stuck in this infernal, derelict horse land then I might as well try a few new things.

And, ew, the view was still unpleasant. Put on some clothes, you heathens!

I tried to keep my attention on other things. The weather, the stench of mud that permeated the town-- hell, even the humans. Still not all that used to them. I mean, there’s really no way to properly describe the sight of a colt running past you, with a little boy following suit. Looked about six years old, with clothes, thankfully and chasing after his master in a dorky, four legged gait, making disturbingly cute squeaky noises. Eesh.

I saw him when we were passing through the market, which was in full swing. It was packed and all, but being an isolated, sleepy settlement, the ponies went about their business in a paced manner, dragging little wagons, carts or oversized saddlebags for their groceries. Twilight and Rarity went squee over some exotic pet things in a spot claimed by a pony mare, the mud variety, wearing an African hunter's ensemble and with a cutie mark of three teddy bears. And they were not the only ones. A crowd of mares surrounded whatever she was peddling. After pushing and shoving our way through(well, Twilight and Rarity mostly said 'excuse me' while I pushed through) I could see what the commotion was about.

In a wired pen were some weird fuzzballs. That's really the best way to describe them. Like the ponies, they came in a variety of colors. About soccer ball-sized, bulbous eyes and beaks on their otherwise featureless faces. That's really all they were. Two small, rabbit like stumps protruded out their bottom and they used these to waddle around in an irritatingly cute manner, making the gathered ponies coo and squeal in delight and if that wasn't bad enough, the fuzzballs could also kind of retract their stunted legs and roll around like a self-propelled ball of concentrated kawaii.

The sucrose levels around me were nearing critical mass, so I turned tail and got the hell out of there, practically dragging my two most gracious hosts despite their cries of protest. Rarity was all like how she wanted to get one and snuggle the hay-- yes, that's right, the hay-- out of it, until Twilight reminded her how she already had to care and clean up after her sister and cat. That shut her up.

With that done, we left the marketplace and I couldn't help but wonder why I didn't just ditch them while they were busy making googly eyes at the fuzzballs. There was something odd about the way Rarity was acting. As we passed some residential street, there were humans aplenty, most of them collared and confined to the front yards. She seemed to avoid looking at them. And get this, they were all ugly. Well, most of them. I mean, I don’t expect every single person on Earth, or whatever this world is called to be attractive but really, most every human-- males and females were not all that pleasant to look at. Really, about the most good looking one I saw was was a girl about my age, short curly hair, fair skin and a heart shaped face. She sat at the shade of a tree, calmly and obediently and… good god, her clothes, and I’m using that word very lightly, were more akin to a nighty. You know, the one girls use for sexy fun times. White, lacy, ruffled… see through. And if she stood up, I’d be willing to bet it would barely reach past her waist.

Upon looking more closely I could see she was wearing nothing under there.

Calm down, calm down. It’s not her fault. She’s not a whore. She’s not showing off her delectably toned body. She… she’s a victim, yes. That’s it. A victim. Definitely not a stuck up bitch queen.

Unlike the other humans, her collar looked to be made of higher quality materials and sitting not too far from her were two mud fillies, a pink one with some sort of tiara and a grey one with horn rimmed glasses. A checkered blanket underneath them and enjoying a picnic, every now and then throwing the girl a little something her way, which she eagerly scooped up.

But yeah, apart from her, most all other humans registered somewhere between average and below. Hell, the men had pronounced noses and foreheads. Kinda made them seem Neanderthalish. One thing they did share with people in my world was their bodies were in different states of fitness. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that, being bereft of clothes, looking at a select number of them was a horrifying experience.

And yet, other times it was not. I mean, yeah, the situation was all kinds of fucked up, but still. While there were humans aplenty who were more or less fugly, a few of them were not. Even as we walked to the spa, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes from stealing fleeting glances now and then. There was this one human, looked to be in his twenties. Not bad looking and with a muscley swimmer’s physique. Tall, bronzed, a six pack.

Now, I wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with the opposite sex. Or at least, how they looked under clothes. I-I mean, I was a teenage girl and before being stuck in this accursed land I did have access to the internet. And of course, back on Earth I had never, ever, seen a naked guy up in real life, but here, with a prime example of the male species, unclothed and with just the slightest sheen of perspiration on his-- ugh, curse me-- dreamy, rocking bod, I couldn’t help but look. It was like my eyes were acting on their own accord. Traveling from his broad shoulders, perfectly sculpted pecs, those killer abs, and all the way down to his… his…

I gulped. My jaw went slack. Did everything go hot all of a sudden?

I… I couldn’t tear my eyes away and really, I didn’t want to at the moment. Blood pounded in my ears, drowning out most of everything and a foggy blur crept up at the edges of my vision. A-and… I started to have… thoughts. Some of which I never would have imagined myself having. I will say this though; there’s nothing quite like seeing it in real life.

Something poked my ribs. My vision cleared, I inhaled sharply, shook my head to clear the daze.

“Feeling okay there?”

Yup, there was Twilight, her hoof still raised, her eyes twinkling with mirth and a little coy smile on her fuzzy mug. Rarity had an expression that fluctuated between amusement and disapproval.

My face was on fire. Okay, maybe not, but it certainly felt like it. God, I have never been so mortified in my whole life. Twilight certainly didn’t help, what with her trying to stifle her snickers.

Rarity cleared her throat. “Now, Febreze, I realize that a young lady like yourself must have needs, but really, it is very uncouth to stare at somepony’s nether regions… and so brazenly as you just did.”

Must… not… kill…

“Let’s just go,” I said, my voice thick with shame and rage.

The spa building stuck out like a sore thumb among the throng of thatched, mud buildings. To my surprise and incredulity, the inside was actually air conditioned, or at least this world's version of it since these unenlightened peasants seemed to have no concept of electricity. Either way I was much too elated at the feel of cool air to notice what went on next.

Agh, curse my lack of attention, for even as I stood there, a content expression on my face, Rarity and Twilight proceeded to do the necessary transactions, booking the services we would employ and before I knew it, I found myself stuffed into a fluffy green robe and made to sit in a cushiony chair. One of the spa owners, a pink mud pony, proceeded to take a file in her mouth and began to work on my hooves. Yeah, that kind of freaked me out a little. Why? Because when the word nail file comes to mind you usually picture a slender, popsicle-tablet like device made of wood or metal. Being ponies, the little beasts used not nail files but hoof files, which look more like an elongated cheese grater.

I mean, you’re a regular human girl with regular human skin and nails and a pastel midget horse comes at you with the intention of grinding your delicate digits down to the bone… that would freak anybody out. Granted, I had no skin or nails at the moment, but still. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the sound of grated hooves was not unlike that of a saw chewing through bone, which, eugh! Seriously, what are those things made out of? Twilight and Rarity got the same treatment and unlike me, they took it in stride. And don’t get me started on just how… unhygienic the little beasts were.

Being mud ponies, they had no hands of magic to manipulate their environment, so how did they go about grabbing things? Answer: their mouths. Now, I understand it’s unreasonable to completely make a place germ free, and even microbe-paranoid Americans have learned to accept not everything and everyplace can be made completely void of the little buggers, but these horrid little beasts pushed those limits to not only break them, but killed, trampled and pissed on them to boot. Like the animals they were, they used their filthy, bacteria-laden mouths to grab on. At first I hoped… no, I prayed that this was maybe an isolated incident and that this unhygienic behavior was limited to the two mud ponies. After all, why use their mouths when they have perfectly good hooves? Yeah, no dice. There were a number of other workers attending to other customers(apparently we got the owners' special attention because Rarity was their best customer. Again, they paid no mind to Twilight), a pegasus and an earth pony and they too used their mouths to grab onto things. I saw one of them place down a hairbrush only to be picked up seconds later by the other pony with her teeth. I threw up in my mouth a little...

With that done the mud baths followed, apparently made from ash taken from Mount Maresuvious, imported minerals and, if what one of the crates said(I mistakenly wandered into a storage closet-- the spa owner was quick to usher me out of there) dried, ground up Breezies were also a key ingredient, whatever those were. Apparently the baths were supposed to loosen out muscles, make them pliable or some other thing I didn't give a crap about. By all means I ought to have been grossed out and yet, it was strangely pleasing. I mean, I can't remember the last time or if I've ever been pampered. It was nice. I would expect that sliding into a mud bath would feel icky, but it was surprisingly pleasant. It was warm, that’s the first thing I noticed and it wasn’t slimy or anything. Rather, it felt like sliding into a big tub of warm, melted, velvety chocolate. Rarity and Twilight sighed in bliss and I couldn’t really blame them. And no sooner were we in that the owners plus a worker applied mud masks.

It was too much for me. Much as I pissed and whined about being stuck in this infernal world, I couldn’t deny that being there, submerged in warm mud up to my chin, tingling pleasantly as it seeped below my fur and into my skin, I had to admit that the situation, while not exactly paradise, was definitely a worthy contender. The mud bath ended a bit too soon for my liking, but immediately after, to wash it off was a mineral bath, also hot. It smelled herbal and… god, it was so good. Hot water, soothing background music, mood lighting and while we relaxed the workers got us hot, damp towels, cold water from a fancy glass cooler filled with slivered oranges, a number of cucumber sandwiches and other bite size snacks. I could really see why girls like the spa so much. Being pampered, waited on hand and foot… what else have I been missing? This girly stuff, it’s not all that bad.

I will say this though, my mood had considerably improved since the three of us set foot in the place. Hell, I almost found myself enjoying their company. I wasn’t what you would call social or a people person, so Twilight and Rarity took it upon themselves to engage me and me, I found myself growing increasingly recipient to their queries as time went on. Twilight spent a good fifteen minutes going on about how she was the head of some committee to organize events, celebrations and festivals in the mud village. Hell, the way she went on about it was more like doing a presentation at an office. She talked about how under her organizational skills, her planned events were executed with an 18% increase in efficiency. A fleeting but amusing image popped into my head-- her, in a pony business suit doing a PowerPoint presentation to a bunch of human executives, describing the efficiency and success of her planned events. Rarity went on about how she’d scored clients for her horse clothes in Canterlot, Los Pegasus and Trottingham. Gave Twilight and I some tips on mane and coat care and even offered to give me a free outfit from her boutique once we were done. I was too content and out of it to do anything but accept.

Now, if it were people taking care of me, the whole experience would have been that much better. In the meantime, these midget horses would do. Hell, I'll definitely have to try this spa thing back home.

Yes, back home... that got me thinking. I don't know how and I don't know why, but these ponies were loaded. Gold exchanged hooves every day as if it were vittles. Precious gems were tossed around like peanuts-- even embedded into fabric and used as decoration. From what I've seen the monetary system here was truly baffling but, whatever. Point was, wealth and riches abounded in this hippie pony candy land. The way I figured, I might as well make off with whatever I can. I could get enough dough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. Maybe even move to New Zealand... Maybe even buy it.

And build a theme park.

Just because.

"Enjoying yourself, Febreze?" asked Twilight, resting against the tub and the crook of her... I dunno, elbows(?) resting against the tiled rim.

"Actually, yes. Better than I expected."

"Well I, for one am glad to hear it," Rarity piped up, her mane, like ours, wrapped in a towel. "Pardon me, but you really seemed to need it, dear."

"It's... been a stressful week. Never thought of myself in a spa, but it's not all that bad."

Rarity giggled. "It is, isn't it? Every mare needs a little pampering every now and then, I say."

"You can say that again," Twilight added her two cents. "I'm curious, what's been your favorite treatment so far?"

"Definitely this bath," I said after a pause. "I haven't been on a warm tub of water since I was little."

"Ah, how the little pleasures get away from us" sighed Rarity. With finesse, she levitated one of the many canapés served to us, in fine china, no less and took a delicate, possibly measured bite, chewing slowly. "It makes it all that better when you revisit them, wouldn't you say?"

"Totally," I smiled, actually feeling content and, though I didn't realize it at the moment, took an equally measured swig of my own iced water-- just the right hint of citrus and bitterness to really make it pop along with the hot bath, unconsciously trying to imitate her own mannerisms. Yeah, there was a definite gulf between the way we moved.

And of course, Rarity picked up on it, a small, knowing smile in her horse muzzle and eyeing me in satisfaction.

"That reminds me," Twilight said after she downed a cucumber sandwich, simply using her magic to toss it in her mouth and displaying none of her friend's finesse. "Rarity, you said you had something planned for Febreze here, didn't you?

I looked questioningly at the marshmallow pony.

"Twiiiliiight," whined Rarity. "I wanted it to be a surpriiiise!"

Said unicorn's eyes widened and she brought a hoof to her mouth. "Oh... heh, heh. Sorry Rarity."

She sighed. "Don't worry about it, darling." She turned back to me. "It's not much, Febreze. I simply arranged Aloe to give you one of her special massages... is something wrong?"

Yeah, there was something wrong. "I don't really like others... touching me."

"You and many other ponies, darling," Rarity leaned forward, her eyes gleaming... Sheesh, they were pretty. "It's not unusual but I guarantee you won't regret it. Many a pony have changed their views when they witness firsthoof just how heavenly Aloe and Lotus' massages can be. You simply must give it a try! Pleaaase?" she all but begged.

I still wasn't all that sure but, I enjoyed myself. Much more than I thought. I looked to Twilight and she gave me an encouraging smile.

"Well, okay then."

All in all, it was nice. Agh, what am I saying, it was fantastic! When our time was up, Twilight and Rarity were ushered somewhere else while I was practically dragged by… I think it was the one called Aloe into a slightly darkened room. Not too big, but not small. Cozy, yeah, that was it.

New pleasures and experiences had been opened to me today and while it took some getting used to, I decided that a massage, even if it was from hooves, might, just might be worth a try.

Rarity sighed in contentment as Aloe went to work expertly in her back, kneading her muscles, loosening nerve clusters and making her body feel as soft as pudding. “Ah, this is just what I needed,” the marshmallow pony all but moaned.

“I’ll say,” Aloe chimed in. “You have been under a lot of stress, miss Rarity. Just what is it you’ve been getting up to? More world saving shenanigans, perhaps?”

“N-not quite dear,” Rarity said in a strained voice as Aloe reached a particularly tight muscle. “The past week has been hard on my friends and I.”

Aloe hummed, waiting for her most faithful customer to continue. Rarity could always be counted on to be an engaging pony and knew better than most how to carry a conversation. Heck, it was not unusual for the unicorn to take over and converse atop everypony else.

“Is it something you want to talk about, miss Rarity?”

“Mmm… I’m sure you’ve already heard part of it, Aloe. Really, just about anything that’s been the topic around town has something to do with it.”

“Well, yes, I have heard some things,” Aloe admitted. “But I am not even sure if half of them are true. Everypony has heard secondhoof accounts of what happened, but you know how ponies here are. If they don’t get the whole story they will fill in the gaps with their own interpretations and imaginations of what really happened.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Rarity conceded giving that she was… no, is one of those very ponies.

“Perhaps you could tell me a little about it? If you don’t mind, that is,” Aloe probed carefully. Of the two sisters, she always was a complete sucker for gossip and not for the first time had succeeded in wheedling some truths out of Rarity.

“Well,” Rarity half sighed, considering the request. “Yes, I suppose it would be alright. What is it you wanted to know?”

Though Rarity couldn’t see her, Aloe’s face threatened to break out in a happy smile, though she immediately schooled her features back into a neutral, vaguely interested expression. After all, it would be unprofessional to do otherwise.

"Well, from what I understand, two of your friends were hurt during... whatever it was that happened a week ago. Are they doing well?"

"Ahh," moaned Rarity as one of her vertebrae cracked pleasantly under the masseuse pony's ministrations. "H-heard about that, did you? Seems every pony has. Yes, they're doing very well, thanks for asking. Applejack's already out and about. Got released from the doctor the day before yesterday."

“I do recall seeing her early in the morning. Already out and ready to sell apples, yes?”

Rarity giggled softly. “Yes, that’s Applejack for you. Doctor House prescribed plenty of bed rest, but Applejack is who she is. I swear that mare is about as restless as a filly and stubborn as a mule.” Aloe raised her eyebrow at the offhand speciesist remark, but said nothing. It was nothing new, of course. Rarity had made such remarks often enough in the past to both sisters and they’d kept their silence. Nopony was perfect after all. “Back at the farm not five minutes and she decides to tend her apple trees, till her fields and tear up her old fence. I worry she overestimates herself, that she’ll get hurt and her family had to bring myself and the other girls to pound some sense into her head!”

“Ya, that sounds like Applejack alright. And how of Rainbow Dash? Is she faring better too?”

“She is, thank goodness. Rainbow Dash is a fighter and she is determined to fight her injuries. Nurse Redheart told us she’s recovering faster than they first anticipated. It shouldn’t be too long before they release her. She’s even more restless than Applejack if you can believe it.”

Aloe chuckled softly. “Yes, I think everypony has an idea just how restless Rainbow can be.” Warmup was over. Now for the more interesting morsels. “I heard it was a… human that was behind that whole ugly affair. Is that true?”

Rarity scowled. She didn’t care much for humans. Not since one of them attacked her beloved little sister. “That it is. Brutish creatures, the lot of them. Violent.”

“Was the human captured?”

“Unfortunately no. As far as we can tell it escaped into the Everfree and has been causing problems ever since.”

“You don’t say?” The gears in Aloe’s head were turning now. “Would this have anything to do with those rumors about the guards making trips to the forest?”

"Unfortunately," Rarity said gravely. "Did you hear about what happened to poor Fluttershy?"

"Of course," Aloe replied feverishly. "It was the talk of the town. She was attacked, wasn't she?"

"And one of her little chickens was stolen. Nopony really knows what to make of it. There was an investigation, you know. The Royal Guard sent some of their numbers into the Everfree to try and find clues what happened, but all they managed to find were human footprints at the site of the attack.”

“Oh, my goodness,” gasped Aloe. “Was Fluttershy alright?”

Rarity sighed mournfully. “She was relatively unharmed, but the poor thing is a wreck. She was attacked from behind, you know. Said it was a human and it grabbed her by the throat. It practically choked poor Fluttershy until she fell unconscious and then made off with her precious little chicken. That savage creature must have eaten it by now. And don’t even get me started on what happened with Zecora.”

Aloe quirked an eyebrow. “Zecora? You mean that nice zebra who lives in the forest? What happened?”

“Her home was broken into and her things stolen. From what she said, she stepped out for a bit and when she came back, her house was practically turned upside down. Every shelf, every cabinet open. Her cauldron went missing and almost all her potion ingredients were taken as well. She all but lost everything!”

“Oh, my. How terrible!” exclaimed Aloe.

Rarity nodded grimly. “Yes, I know, dear. Fluttershy has been helping her out when she can. Help her get back on her hooves, you know. And I know Zecora appreciates it, but she’s also a very independent zebra. Personally, I think it rubs her the wrong way to have to depend on others.”

“You mean, she doesn’t want Fluttershy around?”

“I don’t know, Aloe. I simply don’t. I think she lets Fluttershy spend so much time with her because it helps Fluttershy keep her mind off what happened. Poor thing spent three days straight in her house crying because that horrid human made off with her chicken.”

Aloe shook her head. “Shame, shame. Do they know who did it? Broke into Zecora’s home, I mean.”

In a manner most unbefitting of a self-proclaimed lady, Rarity let out a harsh, humorless laugh. “Oh, they have an idea. It’s a human… the very same one that attacked Fluttershy. They found its footprints in the ground around Zecora’s house and from what I hear, they are exactly the same as the ones present when Fluttershy was attacked.”

Aloe was silent as she pondered everything she’d heard. It was so much more than she dreamed of. “I must say, miss Rarity, this sounds a little too fantastical to be true. I mean, if what you say is correct then that means the culprit would be an intelligent human. No dumb creature could have set off a trap like that and remain undetected for so long.”

“Please don’t remind me, dear,” Rarity groaned. “The thought of an intelligent human of all things is much too unpleasant to think about. Surely there’s got to be a reasonable explanation.”

And with that, Aloe knew it was time to get off topic as Rarity clearly didn’t want to dwell on it. Still, it was more than she expected. Of course, Aloe wouldn’t exactly go around spreading the truths and suspicions Rarity shared with her. Maybe only to her sister, but while the spa ponies were always eager to hear the latest rumors and news they were also professionally discreet with their clients.

“Oh, and Aloe…?”

“Yes, miss Rarity?”

“The mud masks… there was something different about them today. What was it?”

“Ah, noticed that, did you? Yes, we tried adding a new ingredient in addition to the minerals we usually put in.”

“May I ask what it is? Whatever it was, it felt heavenly.”

Aloe giggled. “Well, miss Rarity, if you must know, it was Breezy nectar that we infused on the masks today? Pretty good result, no?”

Rarity’s head whipped around, staring incredulously at the spa pony. “Breezy nectar. Aloe… wherever did you get your hooves on it?” Breezy nectar, while possessing many curative, restorative and rejuvenating properties was also rather rare and even as small a portion as six ounces cost a hefty sum of gold.

Aloe smiled mischievously and tutted. “Ah, ah, ah, miss Rarity. I cannot go giving away the name of my supplier. She’s the sort of... pony who likes to remain anonymous, you see.”

“Oh, how unfortunate!” Rarity bemoaned, giving an exaggerated sight. “Please tell me you at least have a large supply.”

Aloe shook her head, a small apologetic smile on her face. “If only I could, miss Rarity. If business goes as usual, I expect to run out in a little over a week.”

Rarity nodded in resignation. “Well, then. I guess I know how I’ll be spending my afternoons for the next week or so.”

“And of course, Lotus and I will be sure to give you a good discount in light of your many years of faithful patronage,” Aloe said much to Rarity’s delight.

“Ohhhhwow,” I moaned as Lotus finished working on my back.

“And we… are… done!” the pony said triumphantly as she stepped back a few paces. “Whewh, your muscles were very tense and knotted, young lady. Do try to take it easy from now on, yes?”

I gurgled something in reply.

"Good," crooned Lotus. "Now, you just stay there and I will be back momentarily."

I mumbled my consent and she went out the door, leaving me all by myself. I'm not sure how much time passed. I was pretty much out of it. I mean damn, that felt good. My whole body felt like jelly and laying there, on the soft, padded table, low lighting and the pleasantly floral smell that hit all the right notes, I was content to not move.

The door opened and in came Lotus. If I was just a bit more alert or awake I might have noticed that her footsteps did not have that tell tale clip clop of hooves. Lotus' breathing was somewhat heavy and she was... grunting?

With considerable effort, I willed my voice into comprehensive speech. "You feeling okay th... eeep!"

Two hands grabbed me by my haunches and pulled me closer to their source. Wait, hands?

And before my brain could break out of its stupor, I felt those two hands roughly flip me so that I lay on my back. My breath hitched and my eyes widened as I took in the form of my accoster. A human. Male, well over six feet. Rippling with muscles, tanned skin and a healthy coating of hair on his chest and arms. So stunned was I that I could do little but lay there, mouth agape as the magnificent beefcake of a man towered over my considerably smaller form.

But he didn’t wait for me to break out of my stupor. He grabbed me just above the ‘knee’ part of my legs and pulled me closer to him.The gears in my head slowly started back up, scraping and grinding against each other and returning a smidge of control back to me.

With jerky, twitchy movements, I raised my head, unable to help but ogle the guy. Now, unlike the bronzed swimmer guy I saw not two hours ago, this guy was huge! Probably capable of going toe to toe with Schwarzenegger himself back in his prime, and while he was all perfect levels of hunk, his face left a lot to be desired. Heavy, grizzled, and his brow fixed in a permanent expression that just screamed, ‘Bitch, you are mine!’

He grabbed my legs firmly and leaned forward. Instinctively, my eyes wandered down his naked form and inevitably landed on that one appendage that all women both dread and hunger for. My eyes, if possible, widened even further and to impossible proportions, so much so that they threatened to pop out of their sockets. I gaped like a fish out of water, words failed me utterly and with only strangled grunts and squeaks making their way out my mouth. He lined his… pole up to my… my… womanhood and as soon as I registered this, its size and girth set off all kinds of alarms and warning bells in my brain.

Oh, God, he’s gonna split me in half!!!

To say that Twilight Sparkle was appalled at her friend Rarity was an understatement to say the least. "You did what!?"

“What do you mean, Twilight,” asked Rarity.

Twilight’s eye twitched. “What do I mean? What do I mean?! Rarity! How could you do that to Febreze?”

Rarity shifted sideways in her reclining chair to better look at her friend, being careful not to crease her fluffy bathrobe. “I’m sorry Twilight, but I don’t see why you’re so upset. I just wanted to help the young lady.”

Twilight facehoofed. “There is such a thing as going too far, Rarity and you just crossed that line. And just… I don’t… how is that supposed to help her?”

“I thought it would help her loosen up a little, if you must know.”

“Loosen up.” Twilight stated in a deadpan.

“Of course. I mean, you saw how tense she was, didn’t you? I just wanted to help her, ah, relax a little and loosen up so we could all enjoy ourselves.”

“Yes, Rarity, that’s a nice sentiment, but come on. Arranging a happy ending for her and not even telling her about it? And since when does this place even have happy endings?! How would you feel if I did that to you?”

“I… probably wouldn’t like it.” She then added hastily. “But it’s not the same!”

“How? How is it not the same?” Twilight asked incredulously, her face steadily growing redder.

“Because… you know. I don’t really like humans.” She chose to elaborate a bit more at Twilight’s befuddled expression. “Humans are the ones who provide, eh, special services. Aloe told me they lease Applejack’s more behaved specimens and they made a pretty bit out of it. And you saw the way she was looking at that male. Poor filly must be really backed up. Well, either that or she’s in heat and as a fellow mare I’m sure you know how unpleasant that can be.”

Twilight sighed heavily. “Yes, Rarity, I know what that’s like. Believe me, I know...” she muttered under her breath. “We all do, but you can’t just go around and set ponies up behind their backs. In fact, I think this little scheme of yours will end up backfiring on you. Febreze doesn’t seem like the type who likes these types of surprises.”

“You’re thinking too hard on this, dear. At the end of the the day, Febreze is still a mare, and what mare doesn’t like a good rutting now and then?” Rarity was not usually one to employ the use of crass language, but the look on Twilight’s face made it worth it. Truth be told, Rarity thought Twilight could use a little winding down as well.

Twilight buried her face in her hooves and then looked up at her friend balefully. “Fine, Rarity, have it your way. But if anything goes wrong it will be you who explains to Febreze why a human tried to mount her.”

Rarity beamed. “I knew you’d understand, darling. And please, don’t fret too much. After all, what could possibly go wrong?”

Naturally, it was at that moment that everything went wrong.

An earsplitting shriek of horror broke through the calm atmosphere of Ponyville Spa and all heads simultaneously turned towards its source-- the massage rooms. Immediately following were the sounds of a struggle. Furniture being tossed around, the sound of breaking glass, the alarmed howls and yelps of a human and of course the litany of swear words-- some familiar, some not-- that rang loud and clear even from the closed door.

Over half a dozen ponies had converged at various points, baffled and shooting each other uncertain looks as to what could possibly be going on. Rarity and Twilight stood next to each other, the latter giving her friend a pointed look.

“Get out! Get out!!!”

Without warning the door slammed open and, running as if Cerberus himself was at his heels was a human male, yelping in alarm, a panicked look in his eyes and hurtling out so fast and carelessly that he unintentionally slammed into a pony unfortunate enough to stand in his way, bringing them both aground with a resounding crash. Not that seemed to deter him, as he sprung back on his feet and launched himself through an open window, running off to who knows where.

Emerging out the room was none other than Febreze, her face flushed and her eyes bearing a glint of both fury and fear. Shooting a scowl at a gobsmacked Rarity, Twilight moved to comfort the poor mare. She’d be sure to have a nice long talk with the fashionista later on.

“Febreze! What happened? Are you alright?”

The younger pony’s eyes shot to her. “H-he… he... .” She seemed to choke on her words. “He t-tried to… fuck me!”

Yes, a very long talk with Rarity. The poor girl was obviously shaken, her jaw clenched and her eye twitched erratically. Twilight moved to place a hoof on her very tense shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you’re fine now. It's just us ponies here."

"My goodness! What happened?" Everypony turned to see Aloe. The mare had obviously just arrived and surveyed the room with wide eyes.

"What kind of sick game are you all playing at!?"

Febreze had recovered from her shaken state and now advanced on the nervous spa pony.

"G-game? I'm sorry, I d-don't know what you mean, young lady," Aloe stuttered, slowly backing away.

"What I mean is why the hell did a human try to... breed me?" Febreze's voice was growing more hysterical by the syllable and she was gnashing her teeth so hard, Twilight almost expected to hear them crack.

"Oh. Was he... not to your liking?"

Almost immediately, Aloe knew that was the wrong thing to say. Febreze froze midstep, fixing Aloe with a unsettlingly blank expression. "What?" She all but hissed.

Aloe looked around at everypony, silently asking for assistance. "I-I just thought... well, miss Rarity said you liked humans and--”

She whipped her head around so fast it left an audible ‘crick’ and landed on Rarity, who was the proverbial picture of a deer in the headlights.

"What is she talking about?" Febreze asked, all her teeth bared as she pressed the words out and her voice reaching a stone-cutting sharpness towards the end that could easily rival the Royal Canterlot voice in its intensity.

Rarity's ears splayed back against her skull as a mixture of embarrassment, surprise and a hint of that kind of shame a foal might feel when it tried to make breakfast for its parents as a surprise and instead ends up setting the whole kitchen ablaze instead.

With quite a bit of concern, Twilight witnessed Febreze posture changing. The mare crouched down slightly, her ears folded back and her wings began to unfurl, all clear signs of aggression.

Without breaking her sight on Rarity and with her teeth still bared, Febreze began stalking towards Rarity in a deliberately slow yet very intimidating way. The way she moved was not something Twilight was accustomed to seeing on another pony. Her every movement spoke of barely restrained fury, and no small amount of killing intent.

"N-now darling, let us not be hasty, yes?" Rarity tittered nervously as the angry pegasus drew closer. "I assure you, my actions have been nothing but well intended and with only your best in mind." The fashionista let out a short, nervous yet still irritatingly lady like laugh. "And to be honest dear, how in the name of Celestia could I have known that you had a dislike to humans? The way you all but ate that one back on the street up with your eyes was a strong indicator towards the opposite." The fashionista did not realize she was making the situation all the worse, as evidenced by the fact the smaller pony’s face was literally turning purple with rage.

"Oh, you prissy little bitch. Who the hell do you think you are? Your nose is so far up your ass you can’t even see how what you did is all kind of fucked up. You think you’re such a selfless, generous 'friend' and think you know what’s best for me? That you decided it was in my best interests to get laid as fast as possible?" Febreze asked, her voice eerily calm but thick with rage. "Without verifying your suspicions? Without even fucking asking me?! For all you know, I could be homo- or even asexual! Maybe I stared at that guy back in the street not because I was in desperate need to be fucked but because I had a traumatic experience with a human when I was small or maybe I am just someone who is fascinated by the human anatomy that this specimen out there showcased? And now you have the gall to accuse me of being at fault here?!? Is that what you try to say?"

Rarity and Febreze where nearly nose to nose now.

"Uhm... if you phrase it like this... maybe?"

Twilight watched with morbid curiosity as Rarity made an involuntary step backwards, which in turn caused Febreze to display a toothy smile that more resembled a snarl.

The pegasus´ muzzle inched closer to the Unicorns and nearly inaudible, Febreze breathed a single word.

"Run."

Rarity stared help seeking over to Twilight but the Alicorn of Friendship just stood there, watching the scene unfold. Deep inside her, Twilight actually felt that Rarity had it coming. Of course, Twilight would not allow Febreze to hurt Rarity but maybe, just maybe, letting Febreze vent her frustrations at Rarity would do both of them good. Bottling your emotions up was never a good idea and afterwards, one could always make both parties sit down and have a long and thorough talk about friendship and well-intended-but-ill-executed favors.

That is, until Aloe found her voice again as Febreze made her way over to the little tray wagon that held brushes and files alongside different bottles, skillets and jars with the necessary lotions, ointments and other beauty products the spa employees needed when tending to their customers.

"Miss, please, don't do anything hasty!" The one half of the Spa Twins shouted, fearing for her livelihood and the health of her best client.

It was at this point that Rarity thought it in her best interests to beat a hasty retreat, turning tail and making a dash towards the door. Normally, as the lady she was, Rarity would never have made such a rough and tumble action, but sometimes one had to make a compromise.

Especially when one was facing an immeasurably pissed off and quite possibly unhinged pegasus mare.

Febreze scooped up one of the larger jars and measured the fleeing Rarity like a foal targeting an opponent during a snowball fight.

Twilight thought it best to intervene before the situation deteriorated even further, but was too late. The jar left Febreze´ hoof and arced through the air, only to miss Rarity by a hair's width and instead crashed against the wall, leaving a big splash of thick, herbal smelling goop behind.

Rarity whinnied in surprise and changed course, heading down a narrow hallway with a number of doors on either side.

“Oh no, you don’t!”

A wild laugh escaped Febreze’s muzzle as she grabbed ahold of the cart, turned it to face her unfortunate victim(who was struggling to open the doors on either side of the hallway) and with one surprisingly forceful push of her hind legs, propelled the cart with herself atop it and made a beeline for the panicking unicorn.

"Come back here and take your punishment like an adult!"

Crash. Another container of undoubtedly expensive beauty product sailed through the air and found its premature end on the floor, splattering Rarity's coat with a mixture of creamy substance and tiny ceramic shards.

"Run as much as you want you stupid horse, I'll get you yet!"

A coat brush grazed Rarity's flank and made her yelp more in surprise than pain. She then beat a hasty retreat further down to the reception area and the front door that promised sweet salvation, but no sooner had she reached the door that Febreze hurled one of the hoof files with enough force that the iron implement embedded itself deeply in the wood of the door with a loud 'thunk', electing another screech from Rarity.

"I'm gonna tan your worthless hide and wear it as a cape!" Febreze yelled, her voice now brimming with anger while diving in for her victim.

Not looking back, Rarity scampered away from the door and desperately began weaving around the furniture of the spa in hopes of evading the mad-mare that was hot on her tail, all while containers of hoof softener, massage lotions, face masks and the occasional brush or file rained down around her.

Twilight looked on, completely stunned at the proceedings. Not minutes ago she was enjoying a nice pampering with an old and a possible new friend and next thing she knew, said possible new friend was out and about to violently mangle her old friend.

Another crash heralded the end of yet another jar but this time, the impact sound was much duller, telling that it had found its mark somewhere on Rarity.

"Eeek!"

"I'll end you!"

Rarity came bursting back into the area Twilight and the by now collapsed Aloe like a Thestral out of Tartarus. The fashionista’s normally immaculate mane and coat were splattered and smeared with generous amounts of various lotions and crèmes, and a few red trails where exploding glass shrapnel pierced her skin.

Febreze was hot on her heels, throwing a brush that actually made contact with the back of the fleeing unicorn’s head. Rarity's pained yelp broke Twilight out of her stupor. The mare quickly intervened before anything truly bad could happen. Her first instinct was to yell at the crazed pony to stop, not that it did any good. Febreze spat and cursed as she chased after Rarity, throwing crude insults and some Twilight had never even heard before.

“Twilight! Heeelp!”

Rarity was backed into a corner and Febreze capitalized on this by, in a slightly impressive athletic feat, hopping atop the moving cart and launching herself through the air, forelegs stretched out like a pouncing manticore, quickly descending onto a panicked Rarity.

Reacting on instinct, Twilight’s horn lit up and she enveloped the flying pony on a magic hold, but to her shock and surprise, it was only after the briefest moment that her magic field dissipated completely and the backlash caused a painful jolt to her horn, leaving the unicorn to cry out in pain.

Rarity screamed as only she could, cowering and covering her face with her hooves, bracing for whatever came next, but through a stroke of luck, the murderous pony miscalculated her trajectory and instead crashed on the brick wall atop her target with so much force that a sickening crunch followed the impact, spider-like cracks formed on the wall and a miniature crater was left on the small pegasus’ wake as she fell atop the panicked Rarity.

Twilight watched as her poor friend squealed in fright and scuttled away. For one terrifying moment she believed Febreze had broken her neck, so she was all the more surprised when the pony got up with no injuries or any indication she was in pain. She shook her head vigorously and opened her eyes, no longer filled with a murderous rage, but rather a simmering one. It seemed the impact had knocked some sense of self control back to her. She looked to Twilight, to Rarity, and the room at large before setting her head down, looking between her hooves.

Rarity hid behind Twilight, genuinely fearful for her life and Twilight, she did not know what to make of it all.

“I’m done with this.”

Febreze spoke too low and Twilight couldn’t help but blurt out, “What?”

The smaller pony looked up. The anger was still there, but mixed along with a sense of weariness. “I’m done with this,” she said in a louder but very still voice. “I’m done with this cesspool of a town, I’m done dealing with all you disgusting little shitbags, and you,” she said to Rarity, her voice still low, even, but carrying a highly venomous tone. “You better hope I never see you again, because if I do, I will literally boil you alive and reduce you until you’re nothing but a big tub of glue!”

And in a move that caused both ponies’ jaws to drop, Febreze turned, took two steps back and smashed right through the wall of the spa as if it was made of gingerbread.

“The hell with all y’all, I’m outta here!”

And so she was, head held high and a wrathful sneer on her lips. She spared all of them one last glare full of loathing and contempt before walking out the gaping hole to the town outside.