Ari. That is what… I dunno, the soul thing wanted me to call her. Well, that’s not entirely correct. She didn’t remember her actual name and if for nothing else than convenience’s sake, I needed something to call her. Oh, and it turns out ponies(yes, apparently they were called ponies) have different names that one would normally associate. Twinkling Star, Written Script, Soundspeed and Silver Stream were just some of what apparently passed for names here. She was pretty sure her name began with the letter ‘A’, but the whole selective amnesia thing kinda made it an impossibility to remember.

She wanted me to call her Arcana. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. I suppose it sounded cool or grandiose to her. Actually saying it left a bit of an aftertaste in my mouth and after some haggling back and forth, we settled on me calling her Ari.

Compromise.

“Something’s missing here,” I muttered as I stared at the mud village, which if a nearby signpost was to be believed, was called Ponyville.

<I agree. It seems a little too quiet, don't you think?>

I merely grunted in confirmation. The mud town was in front of me and I took advantage of the forest and the night by pressing myself against a tree at the perimeter.

“You think it's a problem?”

<Hard to say. It's pretty hard to see.>

“Well I can't put this off any longer. I need grub and I need it now.”

<Hold on, hold on,> she said hastily, as I had just begun to emerge from the covering of the forest.

“What?” I hissed impatiently.

<Don't you think we should go over a few things before going in?>

“What things?”

<The kind of things you shouldn’t do. Or were you simply planning to waltz in without a plan in mind?> My silence was all she needed. It wasn’t anything common sense wouldn’t rectify, but all the same, she did make some good points.

“Well…” I let the silence speak for itself.

<Oh, for the love of… alright, just keep a few things in mind. First, and most obvious, be careful and don’t be seen. Secondly, ransack only stores and businesses; no homes or domiciles whatsoever. Much less chance of you being caught. Thirdly, make it a priority to carry only the essentials and what you think you’ll need most. Oh, and don’t get overzealous and loot more than you can carry. Fourthly, if you bring food of any kind, be sure you tuck it away very well. It will be problematic if you go bumbling about the forest smelling like a mobile smorgasbord. Lastly and most importantly, do not do anything that will bring attention on yourself. Do not linger anyplace too long; get in, get what you need and get out. Any questions?>

“No. Man, you really have thought about this,” I admitted grudgingly. To be honest, I really didn’t have a plan beyond sneak in, loot what I can, and maybe deface some public property, if only to spite the little pukes.

<Not exactly. Merely common sense.>

I suppose it is. I dunno, my brain was kinds sluggish at this point, and my blood sugar was dropping by the minute.

Turns out, the whole thing went rather well. I kept low, hunched over and stuck to the buildings, not daring to venture out into the open. The place was deserted, there was not a soul in sight and no movement save for whatever the wind stirred up. I had mixed feelings about it. That no one was there, not even the guards, was a good thing, and would make my task all the easier. On the other hand, it seemed almost too convenient, and this served to fuel my paranoia, envisioning a trap set by the little turds, watching and waiting inside their backwards, medieval homes to pounce on me at any moment.

Whatever misgiving I had had to be set aside for the moment, as my stomach and body constantly made their displeasure at the absence of food to be known.There was no going back at this point, so it was either nut up or shut up. With one last bracing breath, I left the protective covering of the forest and scurried to the nearest building in sight, another one of those interchangeable Disney shacks.

I amused myself for a second by envisioning setting fire to one of those colossally unsafe thatch roofs. What, were the little pukes too good to use stone or concrete? Or maybe they haven’t even discovered them yet? The mud village’s layout certainly attested to that fact.

I skulked deeper into the town, sticking to the edges of the buildings and keeping an eye out for any stores which I could loot. The sky was cloudless tonight, and the full moon provided more than enough light for me to see a good distance away.

I was passing through what seemed to be a sofa place, with large windows to display the merchandise. My attention had been caught by the reflection imprinted on the window. There were no mirrors in the castle ruins, so I never had a chance to see what I looked like after Ari gave that semi-makeover.

The person looking back at me was strange, yet familiar at the same time. The most jarring change was my clothing, if it could be called that. My hoodie, jeans, shoes, socks and plain black undershirt had been replaced by a toga-like robe; navy blue in color and lined throughout with spacious pockets which were sewn in. Ari insisted on it, but I drew the line at removing my underwear.

She had found a pair of dusty old saddlebags, light red in color and with stylish patterns running throughout, which I had slung over my shoulder in a kind of sash. That, combined with the toga-thing, and the bulky protrusions where I had packed items that might have come in handy had served to give me an utterly ridiculous appearance.

Then there was my hair. There had been a clear, clean spring running throughout what had once been the baths in the castle. I used it to clean myself up after Ari had done my hair, which she did a passable job of styling into a pixie cut. My eyes, my best feature, I’d like to think, were once a clear, light, steely gray. Now they were bloodshot, dulled, and marred by the clearly visible bags under them. God, I looked like shit. I shook my head and backed away.

<It’s strange, isn’t it?>

“What do you mean?”

<Doesn’t the town seem a little empty to you?>

“That’s what I was thinking. I kinda expected the place to be crawling with guards and all, but there’s nothing, and I don’t like it.”

<A trap, you think?>

“Who knows.”

<I would like to remind you humans are merely animals as far as ponies are concerned. Personally, I can’t see them raising a full state of alert for one single erratic event.>

So it was the little puke’s dismissal attitude towards humans that made this all the easier? Lovely, just perfect. Ah, well, their ignorance is my gain and it did make sense somewhat. A stray dog bites a random person in a random neighborhood-- I can’t see everyone raising too much fuss about that.

<You know, it almost feels like back home in this place.>

“What do you mean?”

<This. Everything. A thousand years have passed and yet, the architectural design of this place is not unlike that of countless little towns and settlements from my time.>

“I don’t see what’s unusual about that. Probably this place got built not long after you and no one’s bothered to tear it all down.”

<“For a thousand years? I find that very unlikely. Castles, citadels and fortresses can linger for a very long time, but small settlements like this? No, I wouldn’t put it at more than a few hundred years old.>

“Well good for you. You can get a semblance of home, at least.”

<Hmm… true.>

Was something bothering her? I couldn’t bring myself to ask. My stomach continuously gnawed at me and the hunger pangs were really starting to be a distraction. I needed sustenance and I needed it now.

The minutes passed, and a steadily growing feeling of impatience and desperation began to well up inside of me. Those little bastards! Would it kill them to differentiate the buildings?! Literally all of the Disney shacks looked to be the same, with little variety in design. It was hard to tell which were houses and which were potential marks.

But a stroke of good luck came. I came across a building that literally froze me in my tracks. Shaped like candy and pastry, a cloyingly sweet design. I suppressed a growing urge to set the damned thing on fire and moved closer, peeking into the windows. A restaurant of some sort. Pastries. Food. Yes!

I looked over my shoulder, just to be safe there really was no one tailing me and gingerly made my way up the steps and in front of the door. I reached into a pocket of my robe and retrieved what may have once been a butter knife, albeit slightly rusted, hoping I could wedge it past the doorknob to allow me access. I readied my sloppy lockpick and gripped the doorknob tightly, turning it as far as it could go and… the door opened.

What the?...

“There’s no lock on this thing,” I mumbled dumbly and blinked in quick succession.

<Maybe they forgot to lock it?> Ari offered.

“Maybe…” How fortunate. Looks like the universe has decided to throw me a bone for once. I slowly opened the door, praying it did not creak or something. Lucky again. Taking one last look behind I entered, shut it closed behind me and surveyed the eatery. Too dark.

I reached into one of the toga pockets and retrieved a number of mushrooms that bathed the immediate area in a soft blue glow. Arcana had me go down to the lower levels of the castle to pick them. I’d been very reluctant, and very rightly so, not knowing if they were poisonous or full of radiation. Ari had spent a good while giving me exasperated reassurances that they were safe to handle.

The place was nice and empty. My attention, however, was almost immediately commanded by a number of baked goods in display, just behind the counter.

Cakes, cupcakes, muffins, pies, tarts, scones, cookies, bear claws, strudel, donuts, lemon squares; all of them within easy reach. I swiped a lemon square from its resting place and brought it close for inspection. It smelled fresh and lemony. I took a measured bite and almost immediately had to suppress a moan of delight and my taste buds were assaulted by the sweet, tangy flavor.

I proceeded to stuff my face by whatever I could reach, paying little attention to what it was I ate, only caring for the fact it was all delicious. Flaky pastries, scrumptious jams, jellies and fillings served to leave my face sticky and smelling of sweets. An idea suddenly popped into my head. If this was a pastry shop, there was bound to be milk somewhere.

Moving to the back, the kitchen of this place, I ransacked through drawers and cabinets until I came across an… icebox? What is this, 1931? I looked inside and sure enough, it was filled with milk bottles, made of glass and sealed with a cork. I greedily guzzled down three of the suckers and stuffed two more in my bag for later consumption.

Ow, damn it. I winced and rubbed at my stomach. Ohh, man. I think I ate too much, too fast. Okay, that’s enough. I lingered around for too long anyway. Moving back to the front of the store, I stuffed one of the saddlebags with assorted pastries, dry ones, so as to not get anything smeared and got out the place.

Now with a full belly, I exited the cloying building in much higher spirits. I was still wary, though, and skulked carefully through town, keeping an eye out for any more places I could loot. A fruitless search as literally every other building looked indistinguishable from one another. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. There had been a library… stuffed inside a tree, if you can believe it and a gaudy, frilly clothing store of sorts that literally hurt my eyes upon gazing at it.

Either way, I knew I had to head back soon. I’d lingered around for too long and had pushed my luck a little more than I was comfortable with. The universe, however, seemed to decide to throw me another bone. I was making my way back to the forest in frustration when I caught sight of a large, one-story building near the center of town with the sign ‘Barnyard Bargains’ splayed in front.

I went to the back and broke in, a rather ambiguous term, as the door didn’t have any kind of security system whatsoever. I mean, what the hell? Either these ponies are way too trusting, naive or incompetent. Maybe a mixture of the three and my opinion of them, already poor enough, was lowering by the second.

Whatever. Their loss is my gain. As soon as I stepped from the back and into the store itself, I realized I’d hit the jackpot. Fruits, vegetables, snacks, furniture, mattresses, bedding, clothing, toys, kitchenware and other miscellaneous things; this place had it all, kind of like a Wal-Mart of the pony world.

They even had a pet aisle, with a whole big section dedicated to humans. How to Care for Your Human, Human Training Made Easy, Your Human and You, Housebreaking Your Human and other human-related books were on display, as well as chew toys, kibble, collars, leashes, bedding, food and water bowls and even clothes! My loathing for the little pukes increased tenfold and it was through a truly herculean effort that I managed to keep myself from blowing up and laying waste to the whole store.

I pushed the matter out my mind and got to work. A few socks, a shirt my size, soap, shampoo, and a razor which my legs were about a day's away from needing. No feminine hygiene products. Damn it! I went through the whole store and got some things that would make the following days easier to bear. Food, a towel, toilet paper and a couple of knives, one big, one small for utility purposes.

I had a powerful urge to desecrate the store in some way, but rather, I made sure there was no trace of my presence. Whatever I stole, I rearranged to make it look there had been no thefts and ensured nothing was out of place. I don't know what the days ahead had in store, but the possibility existed that I may need to come back here to resupply, and it wouldn't bode well for me if the little pukes got wise and decided to employ security measures.

“H-halt!”

What in the…?!

The voice rang loud and clear, almost making me soil myself and there, behind me, was another of the little pukes, the chill on my spine becoming all the more pronounced as I registered his golden armor.

All in all, Flash Sentry was content with his lot in life. Even from a young age, his dream was to join the Royal Guard. A noble profession, to protect the princesses and the land he called home filled his young mind with romantic tales of adventure, camaraderie, and heroism. The Royal Guard was Equestria’s first and best line of defense and for more than a thousand years had kept their homeland safe from foreign and domestic threats.

When the rogue Griffon Confederation split from their native land and embarked on a campaign to claim Equestria for their own, it was the Royal Guard, commanded by the fabled General Epona who drove the invaders back from the heartland of Equestria and culminated with their ultimate surrender on the rubbled streets of Stalliongrad. When the would-be dark lord Midnight Thorn rebelled against Celestia and sought to kill her and take the throne for himself it was the Royal Guard who stopped him at the gates of Canterlot. When the yak chieftain and his subordinates initiated raids on the Crystal Empire and the northern Equestrian towns it was the Royal Guard who drove the miscreants back to their snow-ridden lands.

Of course, Flash Sentry found out that reality is not the same as fantasy. Boot camp was its own special brand of Tartarus and many a recruit who couldn’t cut it was weeded out. Not Flash Sentry, though. he was determined to join the ranks of the Guard and fulfill his duty as one of Equestria’s citizens. It was his proudest accomplishment to date that, after many days and nights of grueling training that he was accepted as a cadet and placed under the then Lieutenant Shining Armor. After that, there was nowhere to go but up and in that he had succeeded.

Sure, the past years had been relatively peaceful and most of his time was spent patrolling, guarding important places and ponies or escorting said ponies. It could be incredibly dull at times, but it wasn’t all bad. Most of his exciting assignments took place outside Equestria, such as the time he and two squadrons of the Guard were deployed to investigate the growing pirate activity at the edge of the homeland’s borders, or when the duke and duchess of Maretonia had required a little outside help in stopping the growing minotaur incursions into their territory, or when the Saddle Arabians, after a bloody civil revolt, needed additional ponypower in keeping order in their citadel.

His current situation fell into the more mundane category that he’d become accustomed to. There’d been an altercation sometime in the day that left a lot of ponies hurt, but if anypony knew anything about it, he did not know. He heard tell in passing from one of his comrades that princess Twilight wanted to keep the situation in a need to know basis. Flash himself had been asleep when it happened, as his was the night shift but at least he got to take part in apprehending those criminals in the illegal fighting ring. It sure got his blood pumping and now that the ordeal was more or less over, he welcomed the tranquil stillness of the night.

It was one of the perks of being the night shift. Luna’s canvas in the sky was truly a sight to behold, quite a difference from Celestia’s attempts. Not that he had anything against the sun princess, but her nights were little more than a black sky and, in comparison to now, fading stars.

Deciding to take a break from his usual route, Flash Sentry changed course and instead of patrolling the perimeter of Ponyville, he opted to cut his shift short. The rest of the guards on break would be getting about playing their customary card games about now, and though Flash knew that doing so was technically a shirking of his duties, he didn't see the harm in it. Nothing of importance ever happened in Ponyville. Or at least, nothing that merited the attention of the Royal Guard. The town was as sleepy and peaceful as they come.

With that in mind he changed course, no longer patrolling the town’s perimeter and instead cut through to make a beeline for the guard barracks built on the eastern side of Ponyville. There was naught a sound in the air save for the soft chirping of crickets, periodic gusts of wind and the soft creaking of wooden signs that hung in front of the establishments in town. Yes, just another uneventful night.

His stroll led him past a few back streets, and among these was Filthy Rich’s second favorite pride and joy, Barnyard Bargains. Flash would not have paid the superstore much mind, but he caught something at the corner of his eye that caused him to do a double take. The back door to the store was left open. Shrugging, Flash headed over. Probably somepony forgot to close it, and he was about to rectify the problem when, as his hoof made contact with the door, he swore he could hear noise inside.

His eyebrow quirked and his curiosity led him to poke his head inside. The back of the store was filled with crates, pallets and boxes that housed Barnyard Bargains’ diverse assortment of products, but even in the dim lighting he could see the area was empty. His ears strained to pick up the slightest of sounds and sure enough, he was able to make out a muffled voice.

What could it be, he wondered. was it possible it was one of the employees working a late shift? Filthy Rich himself? Or possibly… could it be a thief? Flash didn’t want to jump to conclusions, yet his training as a Royal Guard and upholder of peace and law gnawed at him to do his duty and, if there was indeed a cat burglar, to apprehend said thief and bring him to justice.

He treaded carefully, being mindful not to make too much noise. That was easier said than done, what with the fact he was still clad in his Royal armor, horseshoes included. Luckily for Flash, pegasi were notoriously light hoofed and he managed to keep mostly silent as he headed deeper into the store.

Flash followed the source of the sound across the darkened aisles of the superstore and after turning a corner at the outdoors section did he spot the source of the noise. A human. Female. Young, if her stature was any indication, wearing an oddly lumpy garment that covered most of her and in the process of stuffing a variety of products within its confines.

A thieving human? How… random. An odd sight, if nothing else, made all the stranger for the fact the small human was also muttering under her breath. Flash had to rub his eyes more than once to make sure they were working alright. Yes. Yes, it turned out he really was looking at a talking, thieving human female.

His instincts as an upholder of the law then took over, and Flash foolishly stepped forward and made his presence known to the startled girl, who upon laying eyes on him, lunged forward, much too fast for Flash to be able to get out of the way, and the last thing he felt before everything went dark was the sensation of two hands gripping his neck, then tremendous pressure, pain, a sickening crunch and everything went dark.

"This is not what I signed up for," I hissed as I forced my way through the dense vegetation of the forest, the dead pony's body swung over my shoulder.

<Yes, well, maybe in the future you should think before you act. It's a good rule to live by.>

"You think this is funny?!" My voice was in near hysterics at this point. I had just killed the equivalent of a pony cop and there was no way his death would not go unnoticed. Just… fuck!

<No, I think it is wasteful. I could have used that body, you know.>

"Could you try being a little constructive and help me get rid of it? What am I supposed to do now?"

If she could have, I bet she would've sighed. <The guard's absence will be noted. Maybe in a few hours, maybe in a few days. What you need to do is get rid of the body.>

"Gee, thanks, I hadn't thought of that," I shrilled, my voice so high I could barely hear myself.

<If you would let me finish,> she said, a little more testily. <I was going to suggest you bury him. Or better yet, get rid of the body in a way that doesn’t look like murder.>

“What do you mean?”

<Keep up, will you? He is a guard. His absence will be missed and if murder is suspect then security and alertness in Ponyville will be that much heightened. Let the predators have his way with him and it will look like a tragic accident. If you bury him… well, nopony will really know what happened.>

I recoiled. Granted, I had no love for the little pukes, but I really didn’t know what to do. Damn it, I panicked as soon as I saw him. I saw a threat and given everything I’d seen since coming to this accursed place I chose to act first and ask questions later. “All right, fine. I’ll bury him somewhere.”

An oldie but a goodie in gangster films and there were quite a number of options to choose from. Dump the body in a swampland; into a lake, weighed down by stones. There’s the age old grave digging or simply stuffing his corpse in a freezer or an appropriately sized piece of furniture. I didn’t plan on being here too long, I didn’t really have to strain for a long-time solution to the problem.

In the end, I chose to literally put him under a rock. Like, a big rock. A bit bigger than a minivan. That puppy must have had some serious tonnage behind it. Didn’t stop me from lifting its end just enough to send the pony’s body under it, not unlike sweeping dust under the carpet, and let go of the rock, allowing gravity to even things out. The wet, squelchy crunch it made upon crushing the little puke was gross, though.

I have to admit, it surprised me how little remorse I felt. Hell, I actually tried to feel bad about it, but despite my efforts(however halfhearted they were) all I could really feel was a slight numbness and a sense of detachment. I mean, I wish death on people(those that really piss you off) about as much as any other person, but to be honest, I would probably freak the fuck out if I actually did eighty-six someone.

These little mutants, though… imagining them as animals, less than human certainly helped me keep my shit together. And, well, technically they weren’t human. I’d never seen them before, and I was still trying to wrap my head around the whole ‘nother world schtick so it was a little unclear how much remorse I should have felt. Can't help but wonder what a sane, rational person's mental progress would be in a situation like this. There are all these people that say they would do this or that if they found themselves in an alien world, but talk is talk. Actually having it happen to you... well, your priorities tend to change real quick.

You kill a bug, no one cares. You kill a deer and the bleeding heart, hemp-smoking hippies will curse your name but no one will really pay attention. Intentionally killing a dog, especially if it’s cute, will almost certainly earn you a case of loathing and contempt by most everyone in the nation but it doesn’t always mean jail time, and if you kill a human being, that’ll stay with you for life. So where exactly do these ponies fit in?

Kinda makes you wonder about alien movies, if the buggers have an easy time eradicating humanity for no other reason they’re another species. A-and from my perspective, that’s what these ponies are. Aliens. Filthy little hybrid freaks who keep dumb humans as pets and make sport of fighting them. Granted, that looked to be about as sanctioned as dog fights from back home but realistically speaking, I can’t be expected to hold the little mutants’ lives in as high a regard as I do for people, especially when I have never seen or heard of them before.

Goddamn it, I am extraordinarily unqualified for this shit. What is someone supposed to do in a situation like this?

Perhaps it was better to save these kind of questions for another time. Everything had been happening so fast that I really hadn’t had time to slow down and fully realize how terrified I should have been, and at the moment I was too fucking tired to give it much thought.

Much as I wanted to curl up and sleep for maybe a day or two, there was a more pressing matter to attend to. Namely, the fact that I stunk to high hell. It had been at least two days since I was able to clean myself. That, plus the fact I’d been covered in blood from the puke at the warehouse and the chicken hybrid, spending most of my time in this humid forest, pulling moisture from me and causing me to sweat pretty much the entire time had done me no favors. I reeked.

Luckily, despite the passage of time, the lower baths of the castle were in relatively good condition. I couldn’t help but notice that, even as we descended down the windowless passages of the castle, I was still able to see.

From what my guide told me, the whole entire castle had been enchanted by a particularly cheap monarch who wanted to save money by foregoing the use of torches and candles, which apparently ran to thousands of bits(pony currency) a year. He commissioned a bunch of unicorn scholars or… researchers. Whatever they called themselves back in those days. Anyway, they were successful and devised a way to enchant the walls, floors and ceilings of the castle so that they would take any available light, be it from the sun or moon, and reflect it to any adjacent surface, which would then reflect it to the next surface and so on and so on until the whole damn castle would be lighted by nothing but the natural light of the moon and sun.

Even so, it was still night and moonlight was not nearly as potent as the sun, rendering the available lighting to be somewhat dim and muted. It was still enough to see, though, and that was enough.

The baths were not particularly remarkable. The room itself was made of stone and very spacious. There was an indentation in the wall from where a natural spring flowed and was fed into a massive trench the size of a swimming pool that had been dug into the ground, layered with bricks of stone that had been smoothed down to remove any craggy peaks or other imperfections that would have made it uncomfortable to touch. At the opposite end of the bath a couple of small trenches removed any excess water which disappeared into yet another indentation drilled into the rock wall.

From the look of things it appeared to be a communal bath, where several ponies would cram themselves and bathe all at the same time and in each other’s presence. Disgusting.

Well, whatever. A thousand years should be more than enough time for any residual pony filth to have been washed away. Of course, I had to talk Ari into giving me some privacy. What followed was a particularly awkward and excruciating talk regarding the whole nudity, I managed to shoo her away. I don’t think she fully understood the whole nudity concept and I was in no mood to offer a detailed explanation.

Now alone, I got rid of the toga thing and slipped into the water. It was cold, but I didn’t mind much. I rubbed and scrubbed at myself with vigor, humming in contentment as the icky sweat, grime and stink clinging to me was washed away and by the end of it, I came out clean and refreshed, feeling like a new girl.

I can barely remember what happened next. It had been an eventful day to say the least and I was about to drop from exhaustion. I practically crawled my way back upstairs and collapsed on the first comfortable-looking thing I’d found, which appeared to be a pony sofa of some kind, falling asleep almost immediately.

No nightmares, thankfully. The night was more or less uneventful and I woke up feeling refreshed. Not much of importance happened after that. I washed up, ate breaky, and got caught up with the events of the day.

I’d taken the liberty to steal a newspaper(aptly named Equestria Daily) last night to get a sense for how this bizarro pony world operated. Surprisingly, and somewhat disappointingly, it was basically a carbon copy of Earth, but with much less bullshit politics. Besides the whole princess system, almost all other aspects of life you could have found back home. Oh, yeah, and unlike my mercifully normal planet, natural disasters here were practically unheard of. The little winged pests had the godlike ability to fully manipulate the weather with their filthy little hooves so droughts, floods, heatstroke, mudslides, hurricanes and other natural disasters that killed my kin in droves were about as rare as an honest used car salesman. Weathermen has nothing on the ponies, as they could actually schedule just how hot or cold it would be weeks in advance.

There was something about foreign relations with a place called Maretonia and Prance and I swear I saw the word Minotaur thrown in there once or twice.

I especially made it a point to look for any indication of how advanced the technology level was. Needless to say, the results were depressing to say the least. No cars. Anywhere. There were rickshaw looking things that the little draft beasts would strap themselves into and pull around. My excitement upped somewhat when I found a page detailing the rail lines that ran across the country. Locomotives... it's better than nothing and there was also a section with a number of little slips that you could cut out, send them in the mail with money and in about one to two weeks receive tickets to travel inside a blimp. Why in the world anyone would want to get into those death traps, much less pay to do so was beyond me. With the looks of things, the technology level seemed to be late 19th century so maybe there hasn't been a Hindenburg accident yet. Heh, won't they be surprised when they all go up in flames.

So no TVs, no video games, no handhelds, not even freaking AC or telephones in the least. Yep, this is gonna suck.

Well, it could have been worse. I could have been stuck in a time period without toilet paper or soap... or razors.

And I had to admit, those little mutants could make some tasty food, to say nothing of the produce. I'd lifted a few peaches and they... were... amazing. The earth stuff tasted like a cheap knockoff in comparison. Wonder what their secret was...

So yeah, a mix of good and bad. I like to think I'm adaptable, so hopefully my stay here will be minimally miserable.

In any case, I eventually got done with that and it was in that instance that I wondered what my long term plan would be. I would have asked Ari about it, but he was absent at the moment. Turns out, she could actually pull off a Tom Riddle and manifest her consciousness in a temporary physical form. Of course, this didn’t just happen willy nilly. To do that, she needed power in the form of magic juice, so I lent her some since apparently I had more than enough to spare. All I had to do was touch her trinket and by means of conduction, my magic would be absorbed in her weird little amulet.

Well, it worked. She made a temporary apparition that looked vaguely solid and was able to use a little bit of the leftover magic as well. Nothing flashy, just levitation. Moving stuff around. Must have been freeing or something… I can’t even imagine, for as soon as she realized she had a body, she was so overjoyed she proceeded to nuzzle me-- which was weird as fuck-- and proceeded to scamper off to another section of the ruins, saying she wanted to ‘check up on a few things’.

This alone time inevitably led to contemplation, and I quickly found out I did not like contemplation one bit. Depression and a sense of fatalism tend to worm their way in my mind in times of contemplation. Turns out, being yanked away from your world and everyone you knew tends to make you start to miss stuff. Who’d a thunk it, right? Well, riveting as it was to feel sorry for myself, it was probably for the best to take my mind off it and do something more constructive. Something like, say… this whole me having magic thing.

Apparently, this heathen horseland ran on the stuff and given what I’d seen and done the past couple of day, it was as good an explanation as anything. From what I gathered, the unicorns were the most magically adept of the little pukes, the winged pests specialized more in weather control and the normal ones were good at being serfs and laborers.

Point was, I too had magic mojo running through my veins. It was… actually sorta cool, to tell the truth. Yeah, back when I was little I sometimes ran around with a wire whisk and pretend battled fairies and gnomes, crushing them under my superior power, setting them ablaze, turning them inside out, and letting loose legions of conjured, giant-ass Japanese hornets. And if these mutated little freaks insisted on giving me trouble-- which let’s be honest, they probably will-- then I should strive to also find ways to crush them beneath me. I mean, call me crazy, but I don’t get the feeling the little pukes will be content to leave me alone should they find out what I am.

Ari said she would give me a basic rundown on how the whole magic thing worked, but given I had nothing to do at the moment, I might as well take a stab at it. She had given my body a more thorough inspection not long after breakfast and concluded that no, my spankin’ new magic core was not harmful… from what she could tell, at least. However, it did have a sort of drawback.

A pony’s magical core self replicates magic at a steady rate, and this magic is safely contained within a pony body. Apparently, the little pukes were born with an in built, natural ‘field’ just beneath their skin that contained their eldritch magic and prevented it from simply dissipating outwards and into their surroundings, which kind of made sense since magic, according to Ari, was a specific type of energy.

But unlike a pony, I possessed no such ‘field’ that kept my magic in, and so it was continuously radiating out of me, and why Ari said I positively ‘reek’of the stuff. It also made me hungry. While my own core was also self-sustaining, it also did not know what to make of my body, for in an optimal pony body, the magic would be contained until it was used. It was like trying to fill up a water bottle with a hole in the bottom.

For a unicorn, its core would stop or greatly decrease the rate at which it produced magic when the magic itself was not in use, only starting the process when the magic level got below a certain point. Of course, if a unicorn continually kept on using magic, its core would work all the harder to make up for it and would continuously keep on pumping the stuff. Still, even in this pastel pony horseland, there were still some rules and magic was not exempt.

The more a pony’s core works, the more strained it becomes and eventually, it has to derive its energy from the body of its host.

That was pretty much what was happening to me. Since my magic kept on radiating outwards, my core worked overtime to try and keep up and now it was literally feeding off of me in order to keep it up, and the worst part was I couldn’t stop it. Best I could do is eat every other time as my metabolism had been kicked into overdrive literally overnight.

I couldn't help but wonder if this meant that the more I used up this magic, the sooner I'd need to eat to keep my strength up. Well, I packed away more Than enough food, so I should be okay.

Oh, and the reason weird shit kept happening around me was because, since there was nothing to keep my magic mojo inside me, it would explode outwards in a wave of undirected, uncontrolled energy, and since it pretty much did what it wanted, it did some pretty weird shit.

Random stones and bricks became cheese, water turned into pink lemonade(which to be honest, was pretty damned awesome), spiders either grew six times their size(horrifying) or would stand up on four legs and do a tap dance. Books would pretend they were birds and fly away, paintings came alive and its inhabitants, a la Harry Potter, would move around or pose heroically, and a small clock took on a life of its own as well, a near perfect copy of that Cogsworth from beauty and the beast. It's life was short lived though, as it freaked me out so much I immediately stomped it into a mess of splinters and mechanical parts. It did make good kindling for a fire though, so it wasn't a total loss.

But yeah, weird shit. Ari had no idea how to stop it… wasn't even sure it could be fixed, really, so all I could really do was let it loose whenever it built to such an extent. Thing about this chaos magic, it did some weird things unless you directed it otherwise. Still, it served to amuse me, and it was pretty funny to watch birds fly backwards or upside down. I… don't really know how it happened, but I inadvertently turned everything upside down. Or at least, I think it was. I dunno. Everything was still on the floor, yet the floor was the ceiling. It was hella weird.

Still, my attempts, for all they were worth, did not accomplish much of anything. That greasy asshole who accosted me… he was responsible for all this, and he didn't even have the decency to at least give an instruction manual or something to sort all this out. Not that it mattered. Ari would be giving me some instructions on magic use later on and someday, when I can get a good handle on it, I will seek answers to find out exactly what's going on here, even if I have to beat them out of someone.