Once the girls recovered, Sunset took another black card from the deck. "Okay, let's start round seven," she said. "Oh, and we've got a pick two. 'Blank is a slippery slope that leads to blank.' Gimme something good, ladies!"

The girls flipped through their cards, humming thoughtfully. "Oooh, yay, I can finally get rid of a couple of really dumb cards I've been stuck with all night!" Pinkie said.

"Me too," Rainbow grinned.

Once the girls had each chosen two cards, Sunset said, "Okay. Since it's a pick two, we're going in Queen order, so Rarity, let's start with you. Blank is a slippery slope that leads to blank."

Rarity nodded, picking up her cards. "My relationship status is a slippery slope that leads to passive-aggressive post-it notes."

The others stared at her. "Wow. That...was pretty pathetic," Rainbow said.

Rarity glared at her, tossing her hair. "Alright, let's hear yours," she said.

"Love to!" Rainbow said. "Picking up girls at the abortion clinic is a slippery slope that leads to expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor."

"That...was actually worse than Rarity's," Sunset said, her face green. "In a really gross, weird, creepy way."

"Eww, Dashie, just...eww," Pinkie said. Then she looked down at her own cards and winced. "Then again...I'm in no position to judge."

"Oh yeah? What's yours say?" Rainbow asked.

Pinkie blushed. "Umm..." She ducked her head. "Being a dick to children is a slippery slope that leads to jerking off into a pool of children's tears."

Rarity let out a dramatic gasp. Fluttershy let out a startled gasp. Sunset made a repulsed noise.

"What the fuck, Pinkie?" Rainbow asked. "What the actual fuck?"

"Hey! I've been stuck with these two really bullshit cards for like the last hour!" Pinkie cried. "This was my one chance to get these things out of my hand!"

"Well...it kinda does fit th' blanks durn good," Applejack said, scratching her head.

Pinkie blew on her curly forelock in frustration. "Just...let Fluttershy go," she said.

Fluttershy blushed furiously. "Umm...fingering is a slippery slope that leads to mutually-assured destruction," she said meekly.

"Well great, we're all doomed," Sunset quipped. "Applejack?"

Chuckling, Applejack picked up her cards. "Tweetin' is a slippery slope that leads to public ridicule."

"Now see, that actually made sense," Sunset said, flinging a hand in Applejack's direction.

"Thank ya kindly," Applejack said with a smug grin.

"Which is why Rainbow gets this one," Sunset said. "Hers was just batshit insane and I love it." She flicked the black card to Rainbow, who grinned and did a victory dance.

"Alright, my turn," Rarity said as everyone drew two new white cards. She picked up a black card, glanced at it, grinned, and read it aloud in a purring, succulent voice: "Blank. That's how I want to die."

"Oh snap," Rainbow said, snickering as she looked over her cards.

"This should be fun," Sunset said.

Once they'd all played their cards, Rarity shuffled them. "Alright then..." She affected that same luscious, come-hither voice. "Dwarf tossing. That's how I want to die."

Rainbow snickered. "Oh, that's even funnier the way you read it!"

Rarity smiled, then read the next one. "Giving 110%. That's how I want to die."

"That don't even make no sense," Applejack said.

"Same-sex ice dancing," Rarity said. "That's how I want to die."

Pinkie giggled. "That's good!"

"Wiping her butt. That's how I want to die." Rarity was having trouble keeping up the sexy voice; her composure was cracking.

"Wiping whose butt?" Sunset wondered.

"Eating all of the cookies before the bake sale," Rarity said, no longer able to do the sexy voice because she was snickering too hard. "That's how I want to die."

"Woo-hoo!" Pinkie cheered. "Sign me up for that one!"

Rarity smirked. "I'm going to have to give the cookies this point," she said. "Dying wiping someone's rear end is just too undignified."

"Cookies was me," Applejack said, grinning.

"Wow, AJ's really overtaking the scoring!" Sunset said.

"Okay, my turn," Rainbow said, drawing a black card. "Oh hey! I got a pick two!"

Applejack groaned. "Not another one!"

Rainbow stuck out her tongue. "Get ready, girls!" Holding her card up awesomely, she read it as radically as possible: "For my next trick, I will pull blank out of blank."

"Trixie out of my ass!" Pinkie exclaimed, giggling as she sorted her cards. The others laughed.

"Just for that..." Rainbow said with a grin. "Queen rule! You have to read these yourselves...doing your best Trixie impression!"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Pinkie jumped up and ran to her closet...then came back with six pointy purple hats.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess...Trixie emergencies?"

"Yep," Pinkie said, plopping a hat on each girl's head.

Sunset rolled her eyes and picked her cards. Once the others had followed suit, Rainbow pointed to Sunset. "Start us off!"

Sunset sighed. "Do I really have to do Trixie?" she asked.

"You don't have to do her, but you do have to talk like her," Rainbow said. Pinkie and Applejack snickered.

Sunset groaned. "Fine," she said. "For her next trick, Sunset SHIMMER! will pull customer service representatives out of tangled Slinkies!"

Rainbow laughed, clapping. "Awesome! Your turn, Rarity!"

Rarity grimaced. "For her next trick, The Great And Powerful Rarity will pull nipple blades out of the terrorists."

"OUCH!" Sunset said.

"Whoa," Rainbow said, staring at Rarity.

Rarity pouted. "It's what I had," she whined.

Rainbow shrugged. "Pinkie? You're up."

Pinkie sighed. "Yeah, mine's gonna suck, but whatevs. For her next trick, The Pink And Pink Pinkie will pull uppercuts out of a moment of silence."

"Yeah that was lame," Rainbow said. "Fluttershy, don't lame it up any worse than that. PLEASE."

Fluttershy blushed. "O-okay...umm...for her n-next trick, the Meek and Unimpressive Fluttershy will...will pull embryonic stem cells out of hot people." She ducked her head.

"That one...actually didn't totally suck," Rainbow said.

"Woohoo! Go MAUF!" Pinkie cheered, clapping.

"Okay, Applejack, you're up. Wow me."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "For her next trick, the Strong and Honest Applejack will pull Trenderfoot's missing testicle out of a monkey smoking a cigar." She took a bow.

Stunned silence fell.

The room exploded in wild laughter.

"Another win for Applejack!" Rainbow cried. "Damn, girl, you rock this game!"

The girls drew more white cards. "Okay, my turn again," Pinkie said.

"Oh lord," Applejack muttered as Pinkie drew a black card.

Pinkie frowned at her card. "Oh, this is gonna be a bummer," she said. "I drink to forget blank."

In record time, five cards were in front of Pinkie. She blinked, then shuffled them. "Okay...I drink to forget...the violation of our most basic human rights?"

"Yep, this one's gonna suck," Rainbow groaned.

"I drink to forget scrubbing under the folds," Pinkie said, making a face. "Blegh." She picked up the next card. "I drink to forget alcoholism."

"Whoa. Deep."

"I drink to forget a windmill full of corpses." Pinkie shook her head. "I drink to forget...world peace?"

"Yeah, this is a bad round," Sunset muttered.

"I'll go with the windmill one just because what," Pinkie said, tossing the white cards down listlessly. "Who forgot the windmill?"

"I forgot the windmill," Rarity said.

"Here, drink an awesome point," Pinkie said, sliding the card to Rarity. "Fluttershy, give us something funny."

Fluttershy picked up a black card. "I'm sorry, Professor, I couldn't complete my homework because of blank."

"Well this has to be fun," Rainbow said.

When the cards landed in front of her, Fluttershy shuffled them, then began reading them off. "I couldn't complete my homework because of...menstruation."

Rainbow, Pinkie, and Sunset spluttered. Applejack snorted.

Fluttershy gave a little giggle, then said, "Because of...object permanence."

Flat silence.

"Because of...dungeon porn."

Rainbow fell over laughing. Pinkie giggled.

"What." Sunset said, snorting.

"Because of...waiting until marriage." She giggled.

Pinkie snickered. "That has to be Dashie."

"And lastly, because of...crumbs all over the goddamn carpet." She shook her head. "Dungeon porn wins."

"Aww, shucks," Applejack said, grinning.

"Dammit, AJ!" Rainbow howled.

Applejack took the black card, added it to her mountain, then drew the final question of the round. "Okay y'all, get ready." Once the girls had their cards, she read: "What's that sound?"

Rainbow snickered as she immediately dropped a card. The others followed suit.

"Okay, let's see," Applejack said. "That sound is...passing a kidney stone. Ugh! That's just plumb disgustin'."

"Ewww," Rainbow said, laughing.

"That sound is...the invisible hand," Applejack read in a spooky voice, waving her hands around.

"Oh no! The invisible hand is going right up my coochie! AAAAAHHHH!" Pinkie screamed. She flopped over on her back, laughing her ass off.

"Uhhh...yeah...anyhoo," Applejack said. "Ahem. What's that sound? That thing that electrocutes your abs."

Sunset snorted.

"What's that sound? It's...jibber-jabber!" Applejack chuckled. "And one more...that sound is...cockfights!"

"Heheheheh, cock," Rainbow snickered.

"Ah think 'the invisible hand' gets that one," Applejack said. "Just because it's so off th' wall."

"Yaaay," Fluttershy said, clapping and taking the point.

"Alright, ready for the next round?" Sunset asked. "We've got...three more to go."

"Bring it!" Rainbow howled.

"Okay...here we go...!"

Author's Notes:

CURRENT SCORE:

Sunset Shimmer: 5
Rarity: 5
Rainbow Dash: 6
Pinkie Pie: 5
Fluttershy: 9
Applejack: 12