After a twenty minute break, the girls gathered around the table once again, ready for another uphill battle against the perversions of Cards Against Humanity.

"Okay, let's see..." Sunset picked up a black card. "Okay, this is a good card to start the second half on!" Deepening her voice, she sang the question on the card:

"WAR! Uhn! Good god, y'all! What is it good for?"

The other girls giggled as they looked through their white cards.

"By the way, you each have to sing your answer," Sunset said. "And we're going in Queen order."

"Whuh-oh," Applejack said. "Already off to a wild start."

Once each girl had selected her card, Sunset said, "Alright. We know the lyric, we know the song's melody. So I'll sing the question, then Rarity will sing her answer, then she'll sing the question, and Rainbow will sing her answer...and so forth until we're done. Okay?"

"Got it!" the rest of the girls chorused, laughing.

"This should be fun!" Pinkie giggled.

"Okay, ready?" Sunset took a deep breath. "WAR! Uhn! Good god, y'all! What is it good for?"

"A clandestine butt-scratch!" Rarity sang. "Say it, say it, yeah! WAR! Good god, y'all! What is it good for?"

"Actually taking candy from a BABY!" Rainbow sang. "WHOOOOA! WAR! Uhn! What is it good for?"

"NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS!" Pinkie sang loud and clear. "Say it, say it, say it! WAR! UHN! GOOD GOD, Y'ALL! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?"

"Friiiiendly fire," Fluttershy sang shakily. "War! What is it good for?"

"Raa~aaptor attacks now! Yeah! WHOOOOOOOOA!" Applejack finished.

The six girls all fell over laughing.

"That was awesome," Rainbow said, grinning.

"Yeah, that was a lotta fun," Applejack said. "So who won?"

"Rarity," Sunset said with a chuckle. "For actually singing about scratching her butt with so much soul." She flicked the black card at Rarity. "Point and Queen."

"Lovely!" Rarity said primly, rearranging her cards and drawing a black card. "Alright. Ahem. 'Blank. Betcha can't have just one!'"

The others pored over their cards. "Dammit," Rainbow muttered. "No good cards for this one."

When all the cards were in, Rarity swept them up. "Alright. Betcha can't have just one...shiny objects!"

"Oooh, I love shiny objects!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"And you also can't have just one..." Rarity blinked. "Clitoris?!"

"Oh my god," Rainbow said, cracking up. "I sure hope you just have one!"

"And I betcha can't have just one..." Rarity's nose wrinkled. "Smegma. Well. That's a lovely thought."

"Umm...what is smegma?" Fluttershy asked. "Um, that's not my card, but...I have no idea what that is."

"It's the funky crud that builds up in between a guy's foreskin and the head of his penis," Pinkie said.

"Oh. Ew."

Rainbow's jaw dropped. "THAT'S what that card is? Oh my god! Unplay! Unplay!"

"Too late for that, darling," Rarity said with a catty smirk. She picked up another card. "And you can't have just one...gentle caress of the inner thigh?" She raised an eyebrow. "Well...I wouldn't know, but...it certainly sounds like something I'd want more than one of. And lastly...a good sniff."

"So who gets that one?" Rainbow asked.

"I think the inner thigh gets that one," Rarity said. "Mostly because that sounds quite sexy and delightful. Who had that?"

Sunset raised a hand. "Me. And it is."

Rarity tossed Sunset the black card, and Rainbow drew one from the pile, along with a white card. Once everyone was ready, Rainbow turned over her black card, read it, and broke into a wide grin. "Awww yeah!" she crowed.

"What? What is it?" Fluttershy asked.

"Okay everyone! Complete the title. The next book by A. K. Yearling is Daring Do and the Chamber of Blank."

A round of chuckles circled the table. The girls spent a moment examining their cards, then passed one each to Rainbow, who swept them up eagerly, a broad grin like a little kid on Christmas morning lighting up her face.

"Okay!" Rainbow picked up one white card. "Daring Do and the Chamber of...Obesity?" She made a face. "Come on, keep it awesome, okay? It's Daring Do!" She drew another white card from the pile. "Daring Do and the Chamber of Necrophilia? Ewww!" She tossed the card down in disgust.

The girls giggled.

"Okay, third time's the charm," Rainbow said. "Daring Do and the Chamber of Leprosy... OH COME ON!" Groaning in frustration, she dropped that card and grabbed the fourth. "Daring Do and the Chamber of Half-Assed Foreplay? How does that even..." She sighed and picked up the fifth card, reading it halfheartedly. "Daring Do and the Chamber of Edible Underpants." She rolled her eyes. "Oooh-kay. Fine. Just go and piss all over my idol." With a sigh, she said, Who had edible underpants?"

"That'd be me," Applejack said.

Rainbow flicked the black card at her. "Take it."

Pinkie Pie drew a black card from the deck. "Here I go again!" she said in a sing-song tone. "A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without blank."

It took less time than usual for the others to play their cards. Pinkie shuffled them and picked up the top one. "A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without consensual sex." She smirked. "Well well well. Someone in this room is a loosey-goosey!"

There was some snickering. Pinkie picked up the next card. "A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without waterboarding." Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, that is so WRONG!"

Sunset laughed. "Now THAT is extreme S&M!"

"A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without peeing a little bit. Eww!"

"Hey, where I come from, that's how you show you're interested!" Sunset said, laughing.

"Gross!" Rainbow said.

"A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without leaving an awkward voicemail." Pinkie blinked. "Oh-kaaay..." She shook her head and picked up the last card. "A romantic candle-lit dinner would be incomplete without civilian casualties."

Everyone laughed. "That's terrible!" Sunset cried.

"Gracious me," Rarity said, fanning herself.

Pinkie giggled. "Okay okay...Shimmy, did you have the peeing one?"

"Yeah."

"Okay...I'm giving you this one just because that's a total what the fuck."

"Yay," Sunset said quietly, clapping sarcastically as she added the black card to her pile.

Fluttershy took another black card as the others drew back white cards. "Okay, um...I've got another pick two," she said. "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's blank and blank!"

Pinkie laughed. "Oh, this is gonna be FUN!" She frowned. "Or it would be if I didn't have such shitty cards..."

It took the girls a while to play their cards. Once they did, Fluttershy read them in Queen order. "Okay...first off: Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's Catapults and Bees!"

Rainbow stared at Sunset. "Really?"

"Best I could do." Sunset shrugged.

"Next, from Rarity: Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's Loose Lips and Science!"

"That's just sad," Rainbow said.

"Hush, you."

Fluttershy gave Rainbow a flat glare as she looked at her cards. "Like yours are any better," she said. "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's Yeast and Mouth Herpes!"

Everybody laughed at Rainbow, who wilted and sunk lower to the floor. "Okay okay, sheesh..."

"Oooh, do me! Do me!" Pinkie said. "I suddenly have a good feeling about my answer!"

Fluttershy picked up Pinkie's cards. "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's Lockjaw and Chutzpah!" She blinked. "Oh my. That actually...fits."

"Whoa, not bad, Pinks," Rainbow said.

"And lastly, Applejack has..." Fluttershy looked at Applejack's cards. "Mathletes and the profoundly handicapped."

Sunset burst out laughing. Rarity began to titter.

Rainbow snickered. Pinkie giggled.

Even Fluttershy snickered. "Oh, that's...that's so terrible...but..." Her cheeks twitched. "Umm...I think...I think Applejack takes this one." She gave Applejack the black card. "And, umm...you're next Queen..."

Once the girls had a full set of white cards again, Applejack picked up the next black card. "Let's see...oh. Hoo boy." Gulping, she said, "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children blank."

"Oh my," Fluttershy said, stifling a giggle. The girls snickered as they looked through their cards.

"We are...so going to hell for this one," Sunset said as she played a card.

"Yep," Pinkie agreed, putting her card next to Sunset's.

Once the girls finished playing, Applejack picked up the cards and shuffled them. "Okay, here we go," she said. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children..." She read the first card. "Self-loathing. Well, that's cheerful."

"That's just sad," Fluttershy said.

"Next, he gives the bad children...hormone injections."

"So they won't just be bad, they'll be BIG and bad! Awesome!" Rainbow said.

"Okay, let's see what else he gives them..." Applejack looked at the next card. Her eyebrow raised. Her lip quivered. "Oh. Oh my."

"What is it?" Rainbow asked.

"He gives 'em...GOLDEN SHOWERS!" Applejack roared, throwing back her head and laughing.

Pinkie, Rainbow, and Sunset fell out, howling hysterically.

Applejack tried to get control of herself. "Okay, come on now, y'all, we got two more to go," she said. "Santa gives the bad kids...whippin' it out?" She made a face. "Now that just ain't right."

"Oh, but golden showers are?" Sunset asked.

Applejack snorted. "Last one is...testicular torsion." She grimaced. "Ouch. Big Mac had that once. He couldn't walk right for a month."

"TMI, AJ," Rainbow said.

Applejack shook her head. "Okay...golden showers definitely won that one. Whose was that?"

Still giggling, Pinkie raised her hand. "It's me, P. P.!"

Sunset and Rainbow collapsed, wheezing with laughter. Rarity started giggling, covering her mouth with her hand to smother it.

"Okay, that one's yours," Applejack said, flicking the card at Pinkie. "Let's...uhh...let's take a few t' pull ourselves together."

Author's Notes:

(According to the site's guidelines on lyrics, you can include one or two lines from a song's lyrics without violating the copyrighted lyrics rules. Since this chapter only uses one line of "War" over and over again, it shouldn't violate the lyrics rules.)

CURRENT SCORE:

Sunset Shimmer: 5
Rarity: 4
Rainbow Dash: 5
Pinkie Pie: 5
Fluttershy: 8
Applejack: 9