After taking turns visiting the bathroom and raiding the kitchen, the girls returned to Pinkie's room, sitting back down to the table. "So, do we keep usin' the same cards?" Rainbow asked.

Sunset shrugged. "Might as well."

Everyone counted to make sure they had ten cards. Sunset checked the notepad where she'd been quietly keeping score during the first round. "Okay, so...right now, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are tied. Let's go ahead and start off the next round..." She drew a black card. "Fill in the blank: 'Here is the church, here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is...blank.'"

"Hmm." Rarity frowned at her cards. "I'm just not having any luck...oh, wait...that could work."

"Heh, this is a good one," Rainbow said, sliding a card onto the table.

Fluttershy smiled secretively as she laid her card down.

The others played their cards. Sunset collected the cards and shuffled them. "Alright, let's see...'Here is the church, here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is...'" She looked at the first white card. "A disappointing birthday party."

"Laaaaaaaame," Rainbow jeered.

"Open the doors and there is...a sausage festival."

"Oooh, I like sausage!" Pinkie said happily.

Sunset choked. "Uhh...I don't think it means that kind of sausage, Pinkie."

"Aww."

Clearing her throat, Sunset moved on to the next card. "Open the doors and there is..." She blinked, raising an eyebrow. "The female orgasm."

Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash spluttered.

Sunset shook her head. "Open the doors and there is...a snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis?"

"Owchie!" Pinkie said.

"Is that how they do circumcisions?" Rainbow asked, pulling a face.

"Guessing no," Sunset said, shaking her head. "Last one: Open the doors and there is...Daring Do erotica."

Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash, waiting for her reaction. "What?" she said, blinking back at them.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Who had the orgasm?"

Fluttershy raised her hand.

"Eww, you're totally mopping my whole bedroom!" Pinkie cried. Everybody laughed.

Fluttershy blushed. "Umm...maybe...Sunset Shimmer could've phrased that differently?"

Sunset snickered. "Okay, one more point for Fluttershy."

"Yay..."

Once fresh cards had been drawn, Rarity took another black card from the deck. "Alright...'Why can't I sleep at night?'"

The girls focused intently on their cards, not making any comments as they slid cards across the table to Rarity.

"Alright, let's see why I can't sleep at night. Ahem." Rarity flipped up a white card. "Multiple stab wounds. Yes, I suppose that might keep me awake." Smirking, she picked up the next card. "Inappropriate yodeling. Yes, that would certainly do the trick. What else?" She drew the next card, looked at it, and wrinkled her nose. "Lactation? Seriously?" She looked around the table. "Is one of you calling me a cow?" Shaking her head, she took the next card. "Dry heaving. Well I certainly am after that last card." She picked up the final card. "And lastly, I can't sleep at night because of...fiery poops?"

Pinkie started giggling. Rainbow made a face, then doubled over laughing.

"Oh my," Fluttershy said. "You should really see a doctor about that."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I'm going with the yodeling one this time. Who had that?"

"Um, me," Fluttershy said.

"Whoa, Fluttershy's on fire," Rainbow said.

"Fluttershy is poops!" Pinkie exclaimed, giggling.

Rarity slid the black card over to Fluttershy as Rainbow drew the next black card. Once everyone had drawn new white cards, Rainbow looked at the black card. She grinned. "Oh, this'll be fun." She looked around at the girls with a predatory smirk. "What will always get you laid?"

"Eep!" Fluttershy eeped.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Oho, this should be good."

Much blushing ensued from the others as they rummaged through their cards. It took nearly a full minute for everyone to decide on a card to play. Rainbow shuffled them, then coughed. "Alright...here's the things that will always get you laid:

"Powerful thighs."

"Oh! Oh! Like that one girl in that fighting game?" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Copping a feel," Rainbow said.

"Yeah, that'll do it," Sunset agreed.

"Exactly what you'd expect," Rainbow said. At the others' blank looks, she laid the card on the table. "Exactly what you'd expect," she repeated.

"I guess that makes sense," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow picked up the next card. "Free samples?"

"What, you mean like flashing your bits?" Sunset said, frowning.

"And lastly..." Rainbow laughed. "Hot cheese!"

Pinkie snickered. "Guys do love hot cheese!"

"I'm goin' with hot cheese for that one," Rainbow said, grinning.

"YES!" Sunset cried. Rainbow flipped the card over to her, and the others began drawing white cards. "Okay Pinkie, hit us with your best shot."

Pinkie picked up a black card. "Oh hey! I got another pick twosies!"

Sunset's jaw dropped. "Two in a row?! What the hell, Pinkie?"

Pinkie shrugged. "I dunno, just lucky, I guess!" Once the girls were ready, she read the card:

"They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put blank inside of blank. They were wrong."

"Gaaah," Rarity said. "The answers to THAT are going to be positively mentally scarring, I just know it."

"Well girls, pony up!" Pinkie said with a mischevious grin.

The girls rifled through the cards, selecting pairs with various expressions ranging from caution to embarrassment to sadistic glee, then placing them before Pinkie Pie. Once everyone was done, Pinkie said, "Queen order again?"

"Sure, why not?" Sunset shifted uncomfortably.

"Okay then..." Pinkie picked up Sunset's cards. She glanced at them, and her hair drooped. "Uhh...Shimmy? You sure you wanna play these?"

Sunset sighed. "They're the best fit I've got, and I've been wanting to get rid of those two cards since the first round."

Pinkie shrugged. "Alright." In an unhappy tone, she said, "They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put my inner demons inside of a tiny horse. They were wrong."

Nobody laughed, smiled, or said anything. They all just looked at Sunset with sad expressions. Sunset looked away, wrapping her arms around herself.

Pinkie coughed. "Yeah. So, uhh...let's see Rarity's. 'They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put sunshine and rainbows inside of a murder most foul. They were wrong.' Hmm. That's...not too bad, but...we can do better."

"Yeah, that kinda sucked," Rainbow said. "Do mine."

"They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put dead babies inside of preteens. They were wrong." Pinkie made a face. "Dashie! EWWW!"

"Dammit, RD, you need professional help!" Applejack thundered.

"Let's see Fluttershy's," Pinkie said hurriedly. "They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put crystal meth inside of a defective condom. They were wrong." She blinked, then frowned at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy blushed and ducked her head. "What?"

"Ooooookaaaaaaay...." Pinkie shook her head. "Please let Applejack's not be creepy..." She read the next two cards, then let out a sigh of relief. "They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put an oversized lollipop inside of my soul. They were wrong." She tossed Applejack the black card. "You win this one. The rest of those answers were either too fucked up or too depressing."

The girls cleared their throats and busied themselves with replacing their cards while Fluttershy hesitantly drew a black card. "I hope this round is actually fun," she said. "Because that last round...really wasn't."

Once everyone was ready, Fluttershy looked at the card...and meeped. "Oh my..."

"Read it, darling," Rarity urged.

"Oh. Okay. Umm." With a blush, Fluttershy said, "What ended my last relationship?"

"Oooh, I LIKE that one!" Pinkie cried happily.

"Yeah, let's all abuse Fluttershy!" Rainbow said, laughing as she rooted through her cards.

"Let's...let's not abuse me, please," Fluttershy said. "Let's...let's be very gentle with me..."

"Not making any promises," Sunset said with a grin as she laid down a card.

Pinkie made a frowny face at her cards. "Bleah. I don't have anything good for this one," she complained.

Once everyone had played, Fluttershy shuffled the white cards. "A-alright," she said. "Here's...here's what everybody says ended my last relationship." She picked up the first card, then blushed furiously. "T-tentacle porn?"

Rainbow cackled. "Yours or his?"

"And...um...oh my...a homoerotic volleyball montage."

Rarity giggled.

"Oh, and also...oh...seeing Grandma naked...oh goodness..."

"Eww!" Pinkie giggled.

"Also, a time travel paradox. Hmm."

"So you were his mom?" Sunset suggested.

"Oh my...what an imagination you have..." Fluttershy ducked her head. "And lastly, what ended my last relationship..." She let out a startled squeak as she read the final card. "Oh. Oh my. Oh. N-no. I...I can't read this one out loud. I'm...I'm sorry."

"READ IT!" everyone yelled.

"MEEP!" Fluttershy jumped. Her cheeks burning, she fumbled the card onto the table and whispered, "Doin' it...in, umm...the butt..."

"Sorry darling, couldn't quite hear you," Rarity said.

Pinkie picked up the card, stood on the table, and announced, "DOIN' IT IN THE BUTT!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep," Fluttershy squeaked quietly before falling over on the floor.

"I think we have a winner," Sunset said, smirking. As Applejack picked Fluttershy up and tried to shake some sense back into her, Pinkie asked, "Who had the butt?"

"I had the butt!" Rainbow said. Pinkie tossed her the card, which she added to her pile. "Aww yeah! I'm awesome! Take caution!"

Fluttershy suddenly launched herself over the table and thumped Rainbow in the forehead. "Don't. Just...just don't." She sat back down and arranged her own cards.

Once everyone had drawn again, Applejack picked up a black card. "Oooh, Ah got a pick-two!" she said.

"Oooh, yay! I finally get to play a pick-two!" Pinkie said.

"I hope this one goes better than the last one," Rainbow muttered.

"Y'all ready?" Applejack asked. As the girls nodded, she read the card:

"In a world ravaged by blank, our only solace is blank."

The girls studied their cards, picking out pairs and laying them on the table. Once everyone had played, Applejack pulled the white cards closer, then went around the table in Queen order.

"Okay, so...Sunset Shimmer says: In a world ravaged by gloryholes, our only solace is runnin' outta semen."

Rainbow let out a loud snort of laughter. "Oh, that's so wrong!"

"Now that don't even make sense," Applejack said, frowning.

"Y-yes it d-does," Pinkie said, giggling.

Applejack shook her head. "Okay...an' now Rarity's: In a world ravaged by saxophone solos, our only solace is prayin' the gay away."

"Oh wow, that is so wrong!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"And yet, I want to laugh so hard," Sunset said.

"Okay, so uhh...Rainbow's is: In a world ravaged by dark an' mysterious forces beyond our control, our only solace is throwin' a virgin into a volcano."

"That...actually sounds like a movie plot," Sunset said. "Or a Daring Do book."

"Yeah...that one actually sounded kinda cool," Pinkie said.

"Okay...Pinkie's is: In a world ravaged by natural male enhancement, our only solace is vehicular manslaughter."

"Well, who doesn't wanna hit that creepy guy in those bigger dick pill ads with a car?" Pinkie asked.

"Wow, creepy much?" Rainbow said, blinking.

"Alright, y'all...lemme do Fluttershy's. In a world ravaged by unfathomable stupidity, our only solace is...kids with ass cancer?"

Everyone burst out laughing. "Oh my god, Fluttershy!" Rainbow cried. "How do you keep doing that?"

Fluttershy blushed. "I...I'm not trying, really. It's...it's just the cards I keep drawing..."

Applejack chuckled. "One more for Fluttershy," she said, shaking her head.

"Wow, that puts you in the lead," Sunset said. "Good round."

"Umm...thank you," Fluttershy said demurely, drawing two more white cards.

"I'll go get us some drinks," Pinkie said. "Don't mess with my cards!"

"I'm totally messin' with her cards," Rainbow said.

"No, you're not," Rarity said. "I must say, aside from a few...ahem...foibles...this is going much better than I had originally anticipated."

"Yeah," Sunset said. "I just hope no more cards come up that...that hit any sore spots."

"Oh, I'm fairly certain they will," Rarity said. "But it's just a silly game, darling. Just...don't let it get to you, alright?"

Author's Notes:

CURRENT SCORE:

Sunset Shimmer: 2
Rarity: 0
Rainbow Dash: 3
Pinkie Pie: 2
Fluttershy: 4
Applejack: 1