“Hunter...”

“Mmmh…”

“Hunter.”

“...”

“Hunter!!!”

My head shot up from my bed, then turned to find the source of the voice that had so rudely awoken me.

“Mom?” I asked groggily, rubbing my eyes. She was standing in my doorway. Oh, crud. She looks absolutely livid. What did I do wrong this time?

“What are you doing in bed?!” she yelled at me, trudging over to me and pulling me out of bed.

“It’s summer, Mom.” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like I have school.”

Mom stopped fussing with me for a moment to look at me incredulously, as if I was the most oblivious person on the planet.

“Are you kidding me?!” she shouted, throwing a few random articles of clothes that had been lying on the floor to me. “Get dressed, eat breakfast, see you in the car, hurry!”

What?

Dad walked by the door, a mug of coffee in his hand. He idly took a sip, then looked down at me with a small smile.

“I don’t think Mommy is a morning person.” He joked. I didn’t laugh.

I don’t laugh very often.

“WALTER!!!” Mom screamed from the kitchen. My dad fumbled with the coffee and bolted down the hallway.

“Coming, dear!” He yelled back in a panic.  

It was about that point that my mother’s words finally sunk into my head.

Today was going to be my first day as a second grader.

“...What?”

My parents stole a glance at each other, then reverted their gaze to me. Mom brushed a lock of golden hair out of her eyes, then lowered the hand to idly rub her stomach. Dad got on one knee to look me face to face and donned a rather sheepish expression.

“Your mother and I are having another baby.” He said gently. “Now, I realize that this may be a bit hard for you accept, but-”

My mind cut out whatever he said next. My brain was working overtime to comprehend what I was hearing, and my thoughts were running a mile a minute.

The first thing I felt at the news was confusion.

Another kid? Why would my parents want another kid? Am I...am I not…

The confusion quickly turned to fear.

...am I not good enough? What if...what if they want to replace me? What if they don’t want me any more? I don’t want to go! I...I don’t…why would they do this to me? Don’t they love me?

And that fear turned to an intense hatred.

....I’ll never accept their baby. Ever. I’ll never love it, never see it as a part of our family. As far as I’m concerned, the baby doesn’t exist. They might have another kid, but I’ll never have a sibling.

“Hunter?”

I looked up, my eyes filled with a rage of the likes I’d never experienced in my short life.

“What!?” I yelled.

Dad’s hand, which had been approaching me tentatively, abruptly recoiled. He looked very sympathetic. I didn’t want his sympathy.

“Son, I’m sorry if-” He began before Mom put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up with a questioning look in his eyes, and my mother just shook her head at him.

“Honey,” Mom said, looking back down at me and smiling nervously, “Daddy and I are gonna be in the kitchen. Take as much time as you need to think about this.”

She patted Dad on the shoulder and retreated down the hall. Dad gave a backwards glance to her, then back to me. He just smiled at me and ruffled my hair.

“I’m sorry if this is hard for you, champ.” He said in what he must have believed was a consoling voice. “But I’m sure that by the time your sibling gets here, you’ll be a bit more keen to the-”

“WALTER!!!” My mother’s powerful voice boomed from the kitchen.

“Coming!” Dad shouted behind his shoulder. He gave me one last smile, stood up, and dashed down the hall to the kitchen.

I was left in the hall, a frown on my face and a seething rage in my heart. I might not be able to stop them from having another kid.

But I can stop it from having a loving brother.

I was sitting in the hospital waiting room. I wasn’t allowed to go inside the room my parents entered. Dad said something about ‘mental scars that would never heal’, and that made Mom punch him in the arm. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I guess it’s best to stay put in here.

Ugh...my parents kept telling me that they’re not trying to replace me, that they’ll love me and this baby equally. Yeah, okay. Sure. I wasn’t born yesterday. God, I hate this baby. As soon as they come out of that room with it, I’m going to walk right up to it, and-

Oh, look at that, I won’t have to wait as long as I thought I’d have to.

My parents exited the room, Dad on his feet with a bundle in his hands and Mom in a wheelchair. Jeez. Remind me to never go through childbirth, because she looks-

“Hunter.” Dad said quietly, getting down on one knee and putting the bundle in front of my face. “This is your little sister. Her name is Jennifer.” He looked over at Mom, giving her a small smile, one that she gladly returned.

I took the bundle in my hands, and looked down to see a little baby girl sleeping inside. Huh...I’ve never seen a baby this close before. Everything looks so...small. Her hands, her head, her eyes, everything. I also didn’t know babies were born with hair, but sure enough, she had some blonde hair coming out of her tiny head.

The baby’s eyes opened, revealing blue eyes that were almost startling in their color. I don’t know how to put it...they were very intense, but lighthearted at the same time. She looked up at me with a small frown, curious.

I leaned down, getting real close to the baby’s face, until we were almost nose to nose. And then I whispered something I’d wanted to say straight to it’s face ever since I’d heard of it’s creation.

“I hate you.”

...The baby then smiled widely,  giggled, and bopped me on the nose.

...I’ve decided I hate my parents.

Well, at least for today. They had to go somewhere for an hour, some meeting or something, I wasn’t really listening. And they thought, ‘hey, it’s only an hour, and Hunter is responsible, so why doesn’t he watch Jennifer?’.

I mean, I’m eleven, but I know when a serious lack in judgement is present. I mean, I guess it’s kind of short notice for a babysitter, but still. Now I have to watch the one year old that I hate the most out of all the one year olds in the world...which is just the one in this room, but whatever. I can’t even leave the room. They said if I did, then they’d ground me. Not that they’d know if I’d left or not, but...I’m sixty percent sure that my mom can read my mind. She always knows when I’m lying. I’m not risking it. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

I looked over at Jennifer, who was just crawling around like an idiot. Like always. One thing I’ve noticed about her is that she never stops moving. Ever. She’s always playing with something, or banging on something, or shaking something, and more often than not, chewing on something. In fact- oh, yep. There goes a building block. Great.

I waited for about a minute for her to spit it out. Then another minute. And another. Um...should...should I do something about this?

I stood up from my seat, and of course as soon as I did, she spit it out. She then looked straight at me and giggled.

...It’s like she knows.

Well, at least- nope, there goes another block. Possible mother mind reading powers be darned, alright. I’m not dealing with a one year old troll.

“Hey.” I called over to the baby, as if it knew what I was saying. “Don’t break anything.” She just looked over to me, looking confused for a moment before smiling, the block falling out of her mouth. I rolled my eyes and left the room, shutting the door behind me.

Well, at least that’s over. Time to watch some Spongebob, eat popcorn, take a nap, maybe-

Wahhh!

I winced at the sudden noise, and turned around to see that the noise had come from my sister’s room. Oh, you have got to be kidding me. You know what, no. My parents aren't here, and I’m sure that she’ll work out whatever she’s crying about eventually.

Rrrrrvvvvvvv….

...Oh crap. They’re pulling into the driveway. It’s only been ten minutes! What the actual heck! Oh, this is bad. If they hear her crying….no no no I’m so screwed!

I ran back to the room, flung the door open and looked around. Sure enough, Jennifer was sitting on the floor crying. Okay, quick brain, how do you stop a baby from crying? Bottle? Don’t have one. Feed it? No time to run to the fridge. Change it’s...nope, not doing that one. Um, um, er...lullaby? Do I even know any lullabies? Um...I guess I know one, but I’m not really the singing type. Is there anything else I could-

“Hunter! We’re home!”

Waaaah!

Screw it.

I ran up to Jennifer and scooped her up in my arms, holding her against my chest to constrict her movement. I began to sing in a hushed voice:

“Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

And down will come baby, cradle and all.”

Huh. I don’t hear any crying. I looked down to see that Jennifer actually fell asleep in my arms, a content smile on her face. Weird...I thought it would have been harder.

“Hunter?” I heard my mom ask in a panicky voice. I turned around to see that she was standing in the doorway, looking worried. She looked down, saw Jennifer, and let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, I thought I heard Jennifer crying.” she said. “I guess it was just my imagi…” she trailed off as she took in everything before her. “Awwwwww!”

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and tried to defend myself.

“Uh, she just grabbed onto my arm, and crawled up here, and, um…” I said, giving probably the lamest excuse I’d ever given in my life. My mom just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Hunter. Sure.” she said jokingly, chuckling as she left the room and walked down the hallway.

I looked down at my sister and frowned at her. She had woken up, and was smiling stupidly at me. She does that a lot.  

“Never make me do that again.” I whispered to her, mostly for myself. I don’t expect her to respond. She hasn’t even said her first word ye-

“Hunty.”

...What?

I looked down at my baby sister again, my eyes wide. Did...did she just…?

“What did you just say?” I asked her, baffled. She smiled even wider.

“Hunty.” she repeated in a high pitched, ridiculously happy voice, then reached out and poked my cheek. “Hunty.”

...Hunty?

“C’mon, Hunty!”

I groaned. She never stopped calling me that. I’ve no idea how the nickname stuck, but I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon.

“Stop calling me that.” I requested flatly as I followed my sister. She giggled and turned around, her long blonde hair swaying with her.  

“Don’t be silly!” she said in that impossibly bubbly voice of hers. “You’re Hunty, Hunty, so I have to call you Hunty because you’re Hunty!”

“...What?” I responded. She just laughed and kept walking.

I sighed and put my hands in my pockets. I know that five year olds have a lot of energy, but when I was five, I never had as much as Jennifer did now. And I can tell that my parents don’t know what to do with her. Heck, they probably shoved us outside today just to stop Jennifer from drawing on the walls or...I don’t know, swinging on the chandelier, or something equally stupid.

Right now we’re just wandering the park outside our house. Well, she’s wandering. I’m being dragged along against my will. Although...I guess nothing is technically stopping me from turning around and leaving her here...no, no, then I’d just get in trouble. Oh, she’s getting a little too far ahead. Better get her attention.  

“Jennifer!” I called out.

“Jenny!” she said pointedly. What?

“Excuse me?” I asked, taken aback at her outburst. She turned around and walked right up to me. She looked up at me and...seriously? Is she pouting?

“Don’t call me Jennifer.” she requested, poking me in the stomach with her index finger. “Call me Jenny.”

“...Why?” I asked, completely oblivious to whatever she was trying to tell me. Oops. She didn’t like that. She’s still pouting.

“It’s a nickname.” she stated.

“...And?” I asked after a short pause. Jennifer sighed and rolled her eyes.

“And I have a nickname for you.” she said. “So, you should have one for me.” She turned around and tilted her head up at the sky. Her hands were held together behind her, her thumbs twiddling lazily.

“I mean…” she went on, probably trying to get her thoughts together. “Mommy’s real name isn’t Mommy, but I call her that. Same with Daddy. So...aren't nicknames just for people who mean a lot to you?”

That took me a second to process. Is that why she still calls me Hunty? Because I mean something to her?

“Don’t I mean a lot to you?” she asked, turning around and smiling hopefully at me.

Why do I feel guilty all of a sudden? And what the hell am I supposed to say to that? I...I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She didn’t do anything wrong, I guess. But would I say she means a lot to me?

Well...now that I think about it...she’s the only person I really hang out with. Jeez, how sad is that? Fifteen, and my only friend is this frickin’ weirdo. But, well…

“Um…” I began, feeling awfully awkward. “I guess...speaking relatively...I mean, compared to everybody else-”

“Hunty, quit it with the big words.” Jennifer said, frowning.

“They aren't big words, Jenny!” I blurted out without thinking. “Read a book, sometime. Maybe you’ll learn a word with more than three syllables.”

Oddly, Jennifer started getting the biggest grin. Wait, what did I say? ‘They aren't big words, Jenny...’ oh. Did I say-

My thoughts were put on hold when Jenny-I mean, Jennifer, ran up and glomped me. I pulled my hands away and stumbled backwards from the impact, but managed to stay standing. Jenny-ugh, no, I mean Jennifer, had her arms wrapped around my neck and had her head over my shoulder.

“Yay!” she exclaimed happily. “You called me Jenny, you called me Jenny!”

“It-” I started, ready to tell her off...but then I paused. Did calling her by a nickname really make her this happy? Well...I-I guess at this point, calling her Jennifer would just make her mad and than she’d try to get me in trouble. That’s why I’m not telling her it was an accident. Right.

“Hm?” Jenny hummed, pulling back and looking at me quizzically. I sighed and looked off to the side.

“Nothing...Jenny.” I grumbled. She giggled and hugged me tighter.

Oddly enough...that wasn’t as hard to say as I thought it would be.

“Ugh...Jenny…” I groaned as I trudged up the hill. “Where are we going?”

“Just c’mon!” she yelped, running up the hill. Once again. Energy. How? It’s near impossible how much she has?

“Just...just slow down...whew.” I put my hands on my knees and bent forwards, trying to catch my breath. No, I’m not out of shape. It’s a big hill. Shut it.

I heard a sigh, and felt Jenny grab my hand with her dainty one. I felt a small force being exerted on my arm, and...seriously?

I looked up to see Jenny straining with the task set before her, her sneakers digging into the ground as she tried desperately to pull me up the hill.

“This is kind of sad.” I stated blankly. She stuck her tongue out at me and let go, going on without me.

“Move it!” she called out behind her. I just groaned and pumped my legs, trying my hardest to catch up to her.

I finally reached the crest of the hill and promptly collapsed, lying on my back and breathing heavily. Alright, note to self: Less bacon, more light exercise. I looked over to the side to see that Jenny was also lying on her back, but not out of exhaustion like me. No, she was just smiling like a madman while staring up into the sky. I followed her eyes, but I didn’t see anything interesting. Just blue and spots of white.

“What, huff, are you so, huff, happy about?” I said between breaths. She didn't even glance in my direction.

“I’m watching them dance.” she responded. What?

“Excuse me?” I asked. I looked back at the sky, and surprisingly enough, I did not see any people dancing. This reinforces the much more likely scenario of my sister being insane. Eh. I was pretty sure of that before now, anyways.

“I don’t see anybody dancing.” I said to her. She just leaned over to me and pointed up at the sky.

“Right there.” she said. “See? Those two, in the white.”

I decided to humor her and followed her finger to...nothing. Just clouds and sky. Wait...in the white…

“Are you talking about the clouds?” I asked, looking back and forth between the sky and my sister. She nodded fervently and smiled at me, happy that I guessed right.

“I don’t see any dancers.” I said dismissively. “Just white lumps.” Jenny poked me in the side, eliciting a small wince of pain.

“What was that for?” I asked, rubbing my side.

“They are not just white lumps.” Jenny said as if speaking to a child...which is odd, considering that she’s the kid here. “They are Mr. Von Bartlesbee and Mrs. Dewitt, and they’re dancing the waltz.”

...What.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. I’m beginning to feel genuinely concerned about my sister’s sanity. Could my parents still visit her if I admitted her into a mental ward?

“Look at the clouds.” she said, pointing again. And I did look. And all I saw was clouds. No waltzing people with odd names.

“All I see are clouds.” I admitted. Jenny scooted over to me and grabbed my arm, pointing it for me at the clouds.

“Look closer.” she instructed. “They’re not just clouds. See, they make all kinds of shapes. You just have to use a little imagination.”

“...Was that a five syllable word I just heard?” I asked a bit smugly. Jenny poked me again.

“Shush.” she said. “Just look at them again.”

And so I did. And...well...I guess I can see what she’s talking about. I can sort of see a face there...and a leg there...maybe an arm there...huh. It actually does look like two people dancing.

“I think I see it.” I said, feeling a bit odd. Jenny didn’t let go of my arm, but instead pointed it at a different cloud.

“What about that one?” she said excitedly. I looked up at it and thought for a moment.

“Dog.” I stated.

“And that one?” Jenny said, moving my arm again.

“Cat.”

“And that one?”

“Baseball bat.”

“What about that one?”

“I think...a hat, maybe?”

“Oh, oh, Hunty, look out!” Jenny suddenly exclaimed, standing up and pulling me along down the hill.

“What now?” I asked, trying not to trip as she dragged me along. She pointed up in the sky at a small formation of clouds.

“Bomber planes!” she shouted. “They’re right on top of us! Run!”

I caught on pretty quick after that. I have no idea what brought on the urge, but I ran up ahead of Jenny and crouched down.

“Hop on!” I yelled, playing along. “We gotta get to cover!” I felt Jenny hop onto me and wrap her arms around my neck, and I reached back to support her legs. Where my energy came from for the next couple seconds, I’ll never know, but I was off like a bullet, racing down the hill with my little sister laughing the whole way down.

We finally reached the bottom of the hill, and that’s when my energy gave out. I fell to my knees to let Jenny hop off of me, and once she was clear I laid down on my back. I held my forehead in one hand, trying to catch my breath.

And then...I felt some odd kind of lightness in my heart, one I’d never felt before...I don’t know what came over me, but I started to laugh like a madman. Not the fake laugh I use for my parents' friends’ jokes, no, this one felt different. It felt liberating, wholehearted...gleeful.

“Hunty?”

I tilted my head back to see an upside down little girl looking down at me with a curious frown on her face.

“Did you just laugh?” she asked, sounding disbelieving.

“Er, yeah.” I said, surprised at my own actions. “I guess I did.”

Jenny’s small frown turned into a big goofy smile, and she reached down with her small hand to pat my head.

“Good.” she said happily. “You need to do that more often.”

And, somehow, that got me to laugh even harder.

“Sergeant Jenny, I request an alliance between our-” I began before getting a face full of snow.

“...nations.” I finished. Jenny laughed so hard that she fell down behind her bunker, rolling around in the snow.

“So that’s how you want to play it, huh?” I said in a low voice. I reached down and packed a snowball in my hand, then prepared to fire. As soon as she stood up, I flung it with all of my might…

...only for the snowball to soar right over her head. Jenny looked behind her and gasped, then turned on me and pointed dramatically.

“Lieutenant Hunty has returned fire!” she announced. “This means war!” She then reached behind her and picked up an arm full of snowballs.

Oh crap.

“No no no no no!” I yelled while waving my hands in front of myself before the impact of several snowballs hitting my body at once knocked me onto my ass.

I dove under the water stealthily, my prey blissfully unaware of my submergence. The water was my natural habitat; I was a hunter in his own territory, one that had shaped himself over the grindstone of time into a fearsome weapon of nature. I snuck behind the foolish animal in front of me, poised to strike, and then…

...I swam under my sister, pulled her legs on top of my shoulders, and emerged from the water.

“Gah!” I yelled as I broke the surface. Jenny was surprised for a moment, but then started to break down into ecstatic laughter.

“I’m so high up!” she said gleefully, lifting her arms up to the sky. “Higher, Hunty, higher!”

I obeyed her command, laughing with her as I stood up on my tiptoes. Then, out in the distance, we both heard a glorious sound:

The Entertainer. And that song can only mean one thing when you’re at the beach.

“Ice cream!” Jenny and I yelled in unison. Shifting Jenny so the shoulder ride became a piggyback ride, I ran out of the shallow water and onto the shore, running up the beach towards our spot.

“Mom, wallet, stat!” I said quickly to my tanning mother. She pulled down her sunglasses a bit to give me that said, ‘seriously?’, but knew that I meant serious business. Rolling her eyes, she reached over to her purse and took out my wallet. She tossed it up to Jenny, as I was holding my little sisters legs to keep her steady. As soon as the wallet was in Jenny’s hands, I was off like a bullet.

We had to get a good space in line, we had to! I could see kids running on either side of me, fresh five dollar bills in their hands, joyful looks on their faces. Oh no, no freaking way they’re going to get in front of us!

“Hunty, we’re not gonna make it!” My sister said to me as she held onto both my wallet and my shoulders for dear life.

“None of that quitter talk, Jenny!” I said fiercely. “We are getting first in line if it is the last thing I do!”

And so I ran, and ran, and ran faster than I’d ever ran in my life. Kids were falling behind, tripping over their feet, falling into the sand, calling out ‘Noooo!’ as they realized the harsh reality that they’d never make it to the truck before the line piled up.

The truck came into my sight, just sitting there on the road that lead up to the beach. Victory is so close!

Suddenly, a kid a few years younger than me pulled up next to me, pumping his arms, putting in work.

No...no! He’s getting ahead! We can’t let him-

“Hey!” Jenny yelled to the kid. He turned and looked up at her with a confused expression on his face.

Now it’s not like I could see Jenny, but from some familiar sounds I heard, I can determine with ninety percent certainty that she was making silly faces. And no one is better than Jenny at silly faces.

The kid, understandably, started laughing, but then stopped when he tripped over a discarded can of soda and fell into the sand.

Yes! Nothing can withstand the sheer comedic power of silly faces!

Finally we made it to the truck, just parked there in all of it’s glory. I let Jenny off of my back, then fell onto my back on the sand as exhaustion hit me.

“Can I have a Choco Taco, please?” I heard Jenny ask the man in the truck.

“Sure thing.” He said happily, and handed her the ice cream taco. Jenny hovered over me, wallet in one hand and taco in the other.

“Hunty, what do you want?” she asked. I smiled and shook my head.

“I’m not feeling it. I think I’ll just lay here for a while.” I responded with a small chuckle.

The truth was, seeing her happy was the real treat.

“Hunty!”

I turned around to have Jenny crash into me, wrap her arms above my hips, and bury her face into my stomach.

“Jenny?” I asked tentatively. She looked up at me, and I felt my heart ache when I saw that her blue eyes were accompanied by tears.

“W-Why do you h-have to go?” she asked, both her voice and her body shuddering from her grief.

Today is the day I move away from home. I was going to drive up to the town nearby my college campus and use the money I’ve gathered to rent out a flat. Maybe even get a part time job. It would be a lot to juggle, but I did not want to live on campus.

I sighed and gently pushed Jenny off so I could bend down and get on eye level with her.

“Jenny, it’ll be fine.” I said reassuringly. “It’s only a few hours away. I’ll drive down all the time, I promise. Not even just for holidays; I’ll come down whenever I get the chance. Okay?”

Her tears were still flowing, and she looked down at the ground, not willing to make eye contact with me in her saddened state. It broke my heart.

I pulled her into a hug and put my head over her shoulder. She hugged me back immediately, her tears leaking into my shirt.

“I’ll call every week, no, every day.” I told her, trying to fight off my own emotions. “I’ll even pick you up from home and we can hang out in my flat. O-Okay?”

“P-Promise?” she asked, her voice muffled. I pulled back out of the hug and put out a single finger to her.

Jenny smiled brightly, outshining the depressed features of her visage. She stuck out her pinkie in turn, a small and delicate digit. I wrapped mine around hers, and both of our hands shook as we gave each other the most sacred promise of all.

A pinkie promise.

“Is it a boy?” I asked teasingly, my eyes on the road. I heard Jenny jostle in the front seat, and could practically feel her pout.

“No!” she said indignantly. I chuckled to myself, amused at her reaction.

“Well, what is it?” I asked, genuinely curious. I stole a glance to the right, and saw Jenny smiling happily, her legs swaying idly.

“Guess again!” she said, playing with a lock of her hair.

“Hmmmm... “ I hummed, feigning deep thought. She told me that she had news, but wanted me to guess first. We’d been going back and forth for a few minutes now, but I never grew impatient. I just couldn’t. Not with her.

We were driving up to my flat, and had a few hours in the car ride to go. She insisted that she sit in the front seat, and neither me nor my parents took any issue with it. I had a clean driving record, and they trusted me with her.

“Oh!” I said, a thought suddenly striking me. “Is it about that English test?”

“Maaaaybeee…” Jenny responded mysteriously, ruining the mystique by giggling at the end.

“Jenny…” I asked slowly, a smile creeping onto my face. “What did you-’

“An A plus!” she shouted, unable to hold in her excitement.

“Woah!” I said with exuberance, happy for her. I reached over and ruffled her hair. “Congrats, Jenny. You earned it.” I returned my hand to the wheel, and stole another glance at her. She was smiling at me, her eyes full of pride.

“Hey,” I began, “how about we celebrate once we get to the flat? We'll go out to dinner, your choice. How..."

I trailed off when a sudden harsh light entered my left field of vision, and I heard a loud metallic shriek accompanied by an earsplitting horn. My instincts took over, and my thoughts became quick and blunt.

Car

Left side

Incoming

Jenny

Front seat

Airbag

Jenny

Danger

Jenny

I lunged to my right, bracing my arm in front of the passenger seat’s airbag compartment. I met her glance for the briefest of moments, barely registering the look of shock and confusion on her face before I felt a tremendous force colliding with my car, and a searing pain rip through my arm.

I woke up to an intense pain running through my entire body. For several minutes I just laid down on the asphalt, twitching and moaning from the agony. I tried getting to my feet, but the pain was too severe, causing me to fall back down. I let a few deep breaths in and out, trying to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to do.

It’s fine. It’s going to hurt like a bitch, but I have to get up. C’mon..argh…..aaggh!

Biting my tongue in a futile attempt to ignore my pain, I got to my feet. I looked down at myself, and took in what a mess I was. My shirt had been torn on the side, and a long thin cut ran down my body accompanying it. I reached up with my right hand to feel my forehead, and brought it back to see a sticky red substance coating my hand. I felt a breeze and winced as pain ran through my left arm. I attempted to raise it, but the pain nearly brought me to tears. It was definitely broken. Glancing up from my battered body, I surveyed the area.

There was only one car on the street; mine. Jesus...it’s completely totalled. Every windshield is broken, the glass strewn about the road. The car had been flipped onto its passenger side, and the drivers side was a crumpled mess. No idea how I got over here. I guess I was flung out the window. Damn faulty seatbelt...

What caught my attention last was some form laying motionless on the ground near the destroyed vehicle. A skid mark of blood stretched from the wrecked car to the...wait...no...I wasn’t the only one in the car when it…

I felt a cold hand grip my heart.

...Oh God.

As quickly as my heavily injured body would allow, I lumbered over to the body that lay in the street. I saw her blonde hair obscuring her face, her arm twisted at an odd angle, and the pool  of blood that she was lying in.

No...no, no, this cannot be happening. This has to be a nightmare.

I slapped myself in the face, trying to wake myself up. But the scene remained the same. I slapped myself again, harder. Nothing. This can’t be real, it can’t be! In desperation, I punched myself in my broken arm, eliciting one of the greatest pains I’d ever felt in my life and a scream, but still I couldn’t wake myself from this nightmare.

Tears in my eyes, I fell to my knees next to the body and lifted it with my arms, forcing her to sit up. I brushed her hair out of her face, revealing her startling blue eyes, frozen wide open.

“Jenny…” I whisper, lightly shaking her. “Please...p-please wake up.” Her head rolled to the side, limp and dea...dea….no, no she can’t be. No!

“No, no please, J-Jenny, don’t do this to me!” I begged, my voice raising to a shout. “Please, don’t!”

I placed my head on her chest, listening for a heartbeat. All that was heard were my sobs.

“Oh, f-fucking Christ…” I wept, burying my face into my sister’s bloodied shirt. “O-oh God…”  

All physical pain left my body. All I felt was guilt, sadness, loss...and emptiness.

I didn’t really pay much attention at the funeral. I was supposed to appear, so I appeared. I was supposed to dress up in black, so I dressed up in black. I was supposed to nod and give my thanks to those who gave condolences, so I did just that. I was supposed to just ignore the whispers behind my back, the accusatory glances from my relatives ...and so I did.

Her body was in worse shape than I had noticed. She had broken every bone in her right arm, shattered three vertebrae and suffered from massive internal bleeding. The doctors told me she would have only felt pain for a few seconds. Far too long. They said that I couldn’t have done anything to avoid the crash, that I only had a few seconds to react. They said the airbag probably would have killed her if the crash didn’t. I listened to them, but I didn’t hear them.

I didn’t cry. Tears wouldn’t bring my sister back, and neither would pitying myself for my family’s loss. So I stood there next to my parents as the casket lowered into the ground, unmoving and unfeeling. A light in my life had been blown out far too soon, and a void had opened in my heart.

As soon as I got home from the funeral, I had gone into the supply closet and found it. I held it in my hands and walked to the balcony of my home in a haze, my thoughts unclear and muddled.

Pain

End

Funeral

I tied one end of it to the railing methodically and slowly.

Dead

Forever

Gone

I tied the other end into a loop and placed it around my neck.

Suffering

Loss

...End it

I stood up on the railing, closed my eyes, and took one shuddering last breath before taking a step forwards. It was then that one clear thought ran through my mind in the span of half a second:

Would she want this?

Gasping and eyes wide, I whipped around and grabbed the base of my balcony before the rope went taut. My broken arm made me scream in pain, but I pushed through it as hard as I could, pulling myself up over the railing and falling onto the floor of the balcony. I laid there, gasping for air and furiously untying the noose. I fell onto my side and curled up, cradling my injured arm and finally letting my tears flow, shuddering as sobs wracked my body.

I was in my car. Why am I in my car? I look over to the passenger seat, hopeful but wary.

And there she was. But...but she’s crying. W-Why is she crying?

“Jenny?” I asked with trepidation. She looked up and shivered, fearful. Why is she scared? What’s…

She backed up against the passenger door and turned her head away from me, shutting her eyes.

“W-Why did you kill me?” she whimpered. I had nothing to say to that. All of the air in my lungs had been beaten out by her words.

“J-Jenny, I-” I started, reaching out with my hand. Suddenly, Jenny fractured, as if she was made of porcelain. Her skin cracked, and cracked, until her entire body was covered in fractures.

“No!” I yelled out. I tried to grab her shoulder, but it was too late. Her body fell apart into pieces, unfixable. Broken. Immobile...

Dead.

Dead. Dead. Dead. She’s dead. I killed her. I killed my sister, I killed her, she’s not coming back, I’ll live out the rest of my life without her, she’ll never get married, never have kids, never reach old age, never experience life, I took that from her, I-

I bolted up in my bed in a cold sweat, gripping my forehead and panting heavily. The nightmares haven’t stopped.

I’m not sure they ever will.

EEEEEEH

EEEEEEH

EEEEEEH

I didn’t even glance at my alarm clock. I just laid on my bed flat on my back and stared up at the ceiling.

EEEEEEH

EEEEEEH

“Three-new-messages.” I heard my answering machine call out.

Beep!

“Son, I know that you’re not taking this wel-”

I pressed the ‘next’ button.

Beep!

“Your father called, and we just want to know if you’re oka-”

Next.

Beep!

“Hunter, return our calls. We need to tal-”

I picked up the answering machine, pulled the cord out of the outlet, and threw it against my wall. I just stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, before I collapsed on my bed and tried to get some sleep.

Ringringring!

Ringringring!

I groaned and rolled over in my bed. I grabbed my phone and checked the caller ID. Work. Frowning, I left the phone on my bedside table and pulled my covers over myself.

Ringringring!

Ringringring!

Beep!

“Hunter, I know you’re there.” A feminine voice said flatly.

There was a pause, and I heard my boss sigh before continuing.

“Look, I know that this must be really hard for you, and I’m sorry, okay? But you can’t keep rejecting clients like this, or I’ll have to let you go.”

Another pause.

“...There’s a client who wants to set an appointment for tomorrow at one PM. I’ll email you her address. Show up, or consider yourself fired...and, for what it’s worth, I really am sorry.”

Beep!

I pulled the covers off of myself and slowly dragged my hand down my unshaven face.

“...Fuck.”

I so don’t want to be here. I’d be content to go about my usual rituals for the day, like lying in bed until I physically need to get up and go to the bathroom, then eat something then get back into bed, and then repeat the process. Indefinitely, if possible. Then eventually I’d think of my attempted suicide and what made me stop, feel like shit, and then go back to sleeping.

I know this isn’t healthy for me, but...when you’re so thoroughly convinced that you ki...that you kille...when you know that if you had just acted quicker, you could have saved...that she wouldn’t have…

...Half a year, and I can’t even bring myself to think about it.

I rang the doorbell again, a bit impatiently. I just want to get this job over with, get my pay, and get the hell out.

The door opened suddenly, and I looked up to see who I presumed to be my client. She was a bit shorter than me, blonde, looked about thirty...blue eyes…

“Hello!” She said warmly, leaning against the doorframe. “You must be the masseur.”

I just nodded and gave a fake smile. I’d gotten good at those. Fake smiles, I mean. You have to, when you haven’t had a reason to smile in half a year. When the folks swing by, you have to at least pretend to be happy, or else they’ll never go away.

“Well, don’t be shy.” The woman backed up and made an inviting gesture. “Come right in.”

I nodded again and walked in, taking my table and bag full of supplies with me. Upon entering the house, I gave a quick look around, and was surprised about how extravagant it was. The exterior of the home was nothing too special, but in here...nice rugs, fancy upholstery, glass chandelier, the works.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Hm?” I mumbled, turning around to see the client with that warm smile still stuck on her face. It took me a moment to register her question, and I shook my head to clear my head.

“Um, sorry.” I apologized briefly. “Just have a lot on my mind. Er, you have a lovely home.” I added as an afterthought.

“Flattery is nice, but it won’t get you a tip.” she said in a joking manner, then extended a hand. “I’m Jessica. And you’re…?”

“Hunter.” I said, taking her hand and shaking it lightly. I gestured to my massaging equipment. “Where should we take this?”

“Right through here.” Jessica said, pointing over her shoulder, towards a large room with a television and leather furniture. There was enough space in the center for the table, so it works with me. Jessica turned around and led me into the room. I set up my table in the center of the room, reached into my bag, and handed her a towel.

“I’ll just wait in the other room while you get ready.” I said, going through the rudimentary masseur to client talk that I’ve had many times. I might not like it, but I need to be professional. “Just undress, lay down flat on the table, and cover yourself with the towel.”

“Got it. See you in a bit.” Jessica said. I gave her my fake smile and walked back to the foyer and waited on the couch that was pressed up against the wall. This gave me a chance to look around a bit, and I noticed...oh…

On the ground near the couch was a small toy horse. I reached down, picked it up, and turned it in my hands.

...Heh. I remember when these used to liter the house for almost a year. She was so obsessed with...with…

My hand started shaking, and the doll fell to the floor.

“Ready!”

I jumped a bit at the voice, and then suddenly remembered where I was. I shook my head and slapped my cheek lightly a few times, trying to physically drive away the memories that doll had brought back.

“Um, be right there!” I yelled. I took a backwards glance at the doll, then walked over to where Jessica was.

She had done what I said, and was lying stomach down on the table with the towel covering her modesty.

...Did I mention that I fucking hate this job? Because I do. I feel like I’m invading someone’s privacy or personal space or...I don’t know, something, by doing this. Partly because clients let us come into their own homes for massages, but mostly because of the close contact. But I’m good at this, evidently, and I need to get money somehow, so...yeah. Either that or I could go back to college. Yeah, right.

I walked over to her side, emptied out my bag, and set it’s contents on a nearby table. Assorted oils and the sort, you know.

“Is there any area in particular you need me to help with?” I asked politely, my voice a bit shaky.

“My shoulders have been killing me.” Jessica complained. “Oh, and my lower back.”

“Shoulders and lower back.” I repeated. “Got it.” I grabbed a bottle of oil, put some on my hands, and rubbed my hands together. Alright, Hunter. Massage for an hour, a bit of idle conversation, you get paid, and if you’re lucky you can put off seeing another client for a week.

I put my hands on her shoulders and started going to work.

“Could you dig a little deeper?” Jessica asked, placing her head on one side and looking back at me. I avoided her eyes and did as she asked.

“That’s great, thank you.” She said, smiling at me. God, does that smile ever come off her face?

“So, um,” I started, trying to distract myself with idle chat, “what do you do for a living?”

“Not too much.” Jessica said with a sigh. Whether that came from the conversing or the massage, I’ll never know. But I can guess. “I don’t work. Just take care of the house, the kids, you know how it is.”

To be a housewife? No, I don’t think I do.

“How many kids?” I say, moving my hands to a different position on her shoulders.

“One boy, one girl.” She said casually.

I must have paused, because her voice had to break me out of my thoughts.

“Why’d you stop?”

I looked down to see that my hands had indeed stopped working her shoulders. I panicked a bit and went back to work with increased vigor, eliciting a small exhale of breath from the woman.

“Sorry, sorry!” I said, slowing down. She turned her head to look back at me with a weird look in her eye.

“Now who told you to ease up?” she asked teasingly. I didn’t have anything to say to that, and just went back to the roughness I had accidentally initiated. Customer’s always right...I guess.

“So, kids?” I asked, trying to get back on track. “What are they like?”

“Oh, the boy is really well behaved.” Jessica praised, obviously proud as a mother. “Straight A’s, never had a call from school, really sweet kid.” Her face darkened a bit, and her voice turned from proud to exhausted. “The girl, on the other hand…”

I slowed down a bit at the mention of her daughter, but recovered quickly.

“W-What about her?” I said, my voice shaking again. The woman didn’t question it, though. Lost in the massage, I suppose.

“She’s a sweet girl, she really is.” Jessica assured. “Always has something nice to say, bubbly, grinning all the time...but...she’s just a handful, you know? She’s always bouncing off the walls, and she’s just....Hunter? Are you okay?”

“I...I’m fi…” I started...but then I felt something crack. “I have to go.”

“What?” Jessica said, genuinely confused.

“I-I’m sorry, ma’am, but I just have to go.” I said quickly, wiping my hands free of the oil on a spare towel and practically running out of the room.

“W-What about the table?” Jessica shouted to me as I exited.

“I’ll send someone over to get it.” I called back. No I won’t. “I’m sorry, I-I just have to...to…”

I felt a familiar coldness in my heart when I saw what was standing in front of me.

A girl, around the age of ten, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The girl cocked her head to the side, confused.

“Who are you?” She asked in a sweet as honey voice.

“I-I...I…” I stuttered. Shaking my head, I ran into the foyer, swung the door open, ran out, and slammed it shut. I quickly got into my car and drove away, not really thinking of a destination.

Hunty, I’m so cold…

I tried to focus on the road, and block out the familiar voice in my head.

Where are you, Hunty?

I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and sped up, my reckless driving causing several drivers to honk their horns at me.

Why didn’t you save me?

“Stop it!” I yelled, flooring it and swerving.

WHY DID YOU LET ME DIE?!?!?!?!?

I abruptly ran off the road into the field it bordered and slammed the breaks. I was pushed forwards harshly, and was pulled back my my seat belt with just as much force. I just sat there for a moment, my hands on the wheel, my body shuddering. After a minute, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed my head into the steering wheel, causing a long drawn out honk. That way I couldn’t hear myself sob my heart out.

I let the cold water run down my body, trying to wake myself up. The nightmares don’t let me sleep, but I have to at least look rested for this interview.

Oh, Brenda fired me. My boss. From the massage parlor. Said something about how I’m not ‘emotionally stable’. Which...I guess, objectively, I’m not, but...but I’m making progress. For example:

I don’t blame myself anymore.

Well...that's not completely true. I still know that if I had acted differently, then Jenny might still be...um, right, the point is that I did what I felt was right, and had the scar on my arm to show for it. What happened, happened. I have to stop living in the past.

I hopped out of the shower and quickly dried off, then took a glance at myself in the mirror. My face was more pale than it’s ever been, I have bags under my eyes, I’m underweight, and I’m rocking some unkempt scruff. All in all, I look like shit.

Great.

What was I thinking about...oh, right, Jenny. God, it’s only been a year, and it feels like ten. But a year’s a year, and I need to at least try to move on. I’ll never fill the gaping hole in my soul, I know that...but I have to start to get my life together. For her. For Jenny. She wouldn’t want to see me like this, feeling sorry for myself and worrying our family.

I might not be happy. I might not ever be happy again. But for her sake, and for the sake of my family, I have to at least try.

I threw on a dress shirt, slacks, black socks, my only pair of loafers, and my black tie. Gotta look sharp.

I dragged my hand down my face, nervous about the coming inter-wait a minute. I forgot to shave.

I ran back into the bathroom, turned on the tap and grabbed the shaving cream. I was about to put some in my hand when I saw it.

In the center of the mirror was a very small speck of white. How did that get there? I rubbed the mirror with my finger, but the spot remained. I tried again with the hand towel, but to no avail. Giving up, I reverted my attention down, but...the dot moved. It...it wasn’t in the mirror, it was dead center in my vision. And it was getting bigger. And bigger.

Alright Hunter, don’t panic. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for thi-

The white light took up two thirds of my vision now, practically blinding me. Okay, I think panicking is warranted at this point!

I shut my eyes, but instead of black, all I saw was white. Upon opening them, nothing changed.

Just then, a black dot appeared in the center of my vision and grew outwards until it was all I saw. And then it repeated with a purple dot. And then a orange dot...and a pink dot, and cyan, and yellow, and another white dot, and a...and a...I’m...I’m getting awfully dizzy...I think I’m just gonna take a nap...

That’s the last thought that ran through my mind before I blacked out and fell to the ground.

I quickly sat up as I regained consciousness, causing me to get a head rush. I clasped a hand to my head, groaning in pain. Right in front of me, I heard a quick intake of breathe, and I looked up to see the culprit.

Ugh...my vision’s all fuzzy...is that...is that a horse?

I reached up and scratched the outside of the horses ear, trying to set the beast at ease. Maybe this isn’t the best way to go about avoiding getting bucked by a horse, but it’s not like I know more about-

“Ohhhh man…” I heard a feminine voice moan.

...What?

I furiously rubbed my eyes and blinked rapidly, clearing my vision and revealing...um...a purple...unicorn…

What.

“Uh…” I ‘said’ with my jaw hanging down.

The weird horse...thing, backed up and looked down at me.

What?!

“Er...hello.” It said slowly with an awkward wave. In the same voice as the moan. Which...which means…

I looked down at my hand, then back up at the horse.

“WHAT?!”

Next Chapter: Home Life Part 1: Playtime and Promises Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 8 Minutes