Act 2 part 3: Ancient evil

"You see... it was all just an... accident?" Shining said nervously.

"Hmm looks to me like somepony is enjoying this... accident" Flash said as he pointed to me and laughed. Yeah, So you know how Celestia froze after I turned into an alicorn? Yeah That's basically me right now...

Funny thing is, I really WAS enjoying this! I figured Mac would be pissed! But he just looks kinda happy? Why? Maybe he wanted somebody to take Luna off of his hoofs, but he is fucking mistaken if he thinks it'll be ME! I don't give a shit how good this feels! Well... Maybe a little... NO! Concentrate on moving...

*Grunt*

Welp... That's not going to work. "I see you have already acquainted yourself with your sister's new student..." Cadance said with a grin. Luna immediately lifted her head away from mine and her eyes darted around the room.

Mac raised his brow and just stared at Luna, she melted over his gaze, failing to register his amusement. "Tis not what it looks like, Mackiepoo..." Luna said nervously. Then in the blink of an eye, she was cuddling Mac lovingly. "A thousand apologies Mackiepoo! We would never cheat on thee!" Luna assured as she kissed his cheeks. Mac regarded Luna with a silly smile "But Princess... we're not even really in a relation-" Mac was interrupted by Luna kissing him on the lips, to which he responded with a roll of his eyes. He tried to repeat himself but he just got squeezed tighter.

"Is Derrick OK?" Twilight asked, I was still sitting on my back in a daze from my "contact" with Luna. "Yeah... I'm fine.... just give me a minute..." I said as I sat there trying to get a grip on reality. Luna then looked back at me with narrowed eyes.

"Nay...." She said as she looked at me in disbelief. "What? Oh yeah... you're kinda late to the party..." I said sarcastically, finally managing to stand up. "I can turn into an earthpony, a pegasus, and an alicorn now..." I explained. Luna just looked at me again shaking her head "WHO art thou?" She asked. Instead of talking I just sighed and turned back to my human form. I waited for my identity to sink in.

...

"NAY!" She blurted in outrage as a frown formed on her face. "Yep... 100% DJ over here... " I said with a smirk. Flash started to look skeptical. "Can you really turn into an alicorn?" He asked. "Yeah... But last time someone asked me that I ended up in a very awkward situation..." I said as I looked at Celestia. She still had this lifeless stare, I swear the temperature in here just dropped a few hundred degrees.

"Uh... sorry?" I muttered with uncertainty, Celestia said nothing and narrowed her eyes. Oh god... I can't even face her right now! I never thought someone so expressive and lively could ever give me that kind of look. Luna was still cuddling Mac and apologizing "We hope thy aren't angry with us, this is the human's doing..." She said as she glared daggers at me. WHAT!!! OH hell no! She's not blaming me for this shit!

"MY doing??? I didn't do anything! " I said in outrage.

"This wouldn't have happened if thy watched where thy horn ventures!" Luna responded, literally almost dropping Mac to the floor as she looked at me.

"You guys don't get it do you? I'm not used to having a horn! Besides you're the one that got in my face! " I snapped back.

"Only because thou sat in MY royal chair!" She said angrily.

"So what? It's just a fucking chair! And you were way to close to my face, and I DID tell you that you were to close! What the hell were you trying to do, kiss me?" I yelled.

"I absolutely forbid ANYPONY from sitting in MY chair!" She boomed. Uh, should I be worried that she dropped the old English? No. I'm standing my ground!

So I did the "smart" thing in this situation and walked over to her chair, flipped it upright and plopped my ass right in it. "Just try and stop me..." I muttered with a smug grin. Luna's eyes turned white and she slowly stomped over to me. Uh... starting to regret this a little bit...OK... The room is definitely colder now... I'm regretting this a lot... I can literally see my fucking breath right now... Maximum regret!

Thankfully Cadance was there to cast that calming spell on us before I got my face disintegrated. "Sheesh... You two argue like a married couple..." Cadance said jokingly. Luna and I suddenly got wide eyed, we slowly turned to Cadance, giving her the death stare. Cadance whistled innocently and looked away from us before Luna and I made eye contact again, and she still wasn't happy with me. She walked up to me and stared me down. She was about to yell again when Cadance cleared her throat.

"Um, Princess Luna? Have you tried asking nicely?" She suggested with a warm smile. Luna looked at Cadance with an annoyed glare before sighing. "Nay..." She said as she turned back to me. Oh god... she's really going to ask me nicely? This should be hilarious!

"Human... Uh... Derrick.... Can thy please get out of our chair?" She whispered, which I didn't think was possible.

"Aww.... The poor pwincess wants her wittle chair back..." I teased as I stood up, "Aww... Well here ya go... You can have your wittle chair back since you asked so nicely!" I said as I walked past her and ruffled her hair, Which felt kinda like cotton candy except a lot thicker and not sticky. She stood for a moment and her eyes twitched before she finally sat down in her chair.

"Can we see it DJ? That would be truly amazing to witness!" Twilight pleaded. I frowned and folded my arms. "See what?" I asked. "Your alicorn transformation!" Flash said as he looked at me suspiciously. "No... I almost pass out every time I do it" I said with a shake of my head. "Please?" Twilight pleaded again with her puppy eyes, ugh... god damn ponies and they're cuteness... NO! I'm going to have to deal with this a lot in the near future! I have to resist the cuteness! This shit is NOT working this time Twilight!

I glanced at her again, it took all my will power to resist but so far I was managing... "Ya know DJ, Ah'm startin ta think ya can't turn into an alicorn..." Mac said with a shrug. I instantly caved and started the transformation for the 3rd time in a row, and surprisingly it was still just as hard as the first time around.

"Bask in the glory of the mighty alicorn DJ..." I said in a menacing voice. Mac, Luna, Twilight and flash's jaws hit the floor. Do I really look that amazing? I walked over to a nearby mirror and checked myself out. Besides obvious height and build differences that came with my pony forms, I noticed my "mane" was a lot longer then usual. Huh that's funny... I guess it's an alicorn thing. After looking myself over for a little bit I started to feel... weird... like, evil weird. It became really hard to focus on anything... And my head started to hurt badly.

OK, I don't know what the hell is happening... I haven't stayed in this form for more than 30 seconds before, maybe its unstable? Once I felt a pressure in my chest, and started hearing evil laughter in my head I decided I should probably change back before something bad happens. In fact I feel a strange urge to kill something right now.... OK, fuck this! I turned back into my human form and cringed in pain. The dark evil feeling went away thankfully and I turned back to everyone. They were all staring at me in horror.

"What?" I asked innocently. Then Twilight spoke up "Uh... You had this really creepy smile and you started laughing and mumbling to yourself... " she explained. OK... Alicorn DJ equals bad then...

"Are you OK?" Celestia asked, finally speaking up, her face filled with concern. "Yeah I'm fine! Its just exhausting turning into that form, and I'm kinda hungry. Say, can we eat now?" I said changing the subject and giving a reassuring smile. Celestia just looked at me suspiciously and nodded slowly.

"Come sit sister! We are famished!" Luna said impatiently. Good job Luna! Distract them all so they can forget my creepy moment! Everyone sat down, Celestia sat next to Luna (in the other big ass chair) then Cadance sat across from Shining, Twilight across from Flash and I sat across from Mac. I transformed into my unicorn form so I could eat hay. Celestia somehow signaled a waiter to appear and take our orders. They all got an assortment of sweets, hay based foods and salads, then it was my turn to order.

"What will you have this evening sir?" The waiter pony asked. "Uh, just get me a sandwich and fries and whatever cake everyone else is getting, along with a coffee..." I said quickly. The waiter nodded, and walked away. Then slowly but surely everyone started to talk among themselves, but some were acting kind of... funny. Celestia still had that... Look in her eyes despite that smile she wore. it's strange how not even her sister noticed. Then again... I seem to be the only one that noticed it at all! And as if she could hear my thoughts, she and I made eye contact but we both quickly looked away.

Eventually I kinda just zoned out, I was worried about what exactly happened to me when i turned to an alicorn. I felt a very strange bloodlust that is COMPLETELY uncharacteristic of me, I'm not a killer! Maybe Celestia noticed it too... But she didn't say anything. If she did then that's probably what's bothering her. Well, all I know now is that feeling is gone, so I guess I should just avoid using my alicorn form for now and forget the whole thing...

When I tuned back into reality, I noticed Cadance was staring at me... what the hell? Whatever... I don't care anymore, I'm just going to put my head down until the food comes...

Hmm, interesting... I can see why Auntie wants him to make friends. He hasn't said a word to anypony at the table yet, he prefers to keep to himself, avoids social interaction, claims he doesn't need friends of all things, an OUTCAST. It does make some sense considering he's not of this world, but besides our different appearances, and some societal differences, there doesn't seem to be to many differences between us and humans. Aunt Celestia told me how much happier Twilight became because of friendship. She told me how Twilight used to lounge around the archives, studying endlessly, alone. Perhaps his assignment will brighten up his life, of course there is also the possibility for the assignment to just make him hate friendship even more...

I've also been observing all of the relationships here. Twilight and Flash seem to like each other enough but neither of them are making any advances. I have to remind Shining not to interfere or it will never happen. Then there is Aunt Luna and Big Macintosh. It seems really one-sided, Big Mac doesn't seem to share the strong feelings that Luna has for him. In fact he was amused when Derrick touched horns with her! Luna seems to have trouble accepting that, and it looks like Mac can't bring himself to tell her... How unfortunate... They look so cute together too... Then again, not all pairs are meant to be.

Then there is Derrick, he wishes not to be involved in any romance. But mating season is coming up soon, I feel he will soon have his wish broken by all the mares in heat, we tend to get a bit... desperate... and borderline crazy according to shining. But what's a mare in heat to do with so few stallions?

I also found out something quite interesting, after bugging Auntie Celestia for long enough, I finally got her to admit that she IS fond of him. Imagine that... The Princess of the sun, falling for the handsome, mysterious shapeshifting human. It sounds like a bad pair when you put it that way, but I can sense great pain emanating from him. He holds it all in, and behind that cute, smug grin of his and the wall of sarcasm is someone with a troubled past. Perhaps love could heal him... Auntie's love... but for some reason she won't tell Derrick how she really feels about him. Maybe she fears rejection? Or she wants him to figure it out on his own? He doesn't want a relationship with anypony, so she claimed she would tell him when the time was right. Whatever that means...

Perhaps her initial attraction sparked from the original contact they shared, when unicorn's touch horns, they gain a subconscious connection, that tends to be amplified by their true feelings for each other (if there are any). It is not a strong connection, otherwise accidental horn touching would create relationships everywhere, but it is there never the less. Normally after some time they would both seek each other out without realizing it, they'll make choices that ultimately bring them together. From there, they either find their soulmate, or they realize they aren't made for each other and separate, continuing on with their lives.

But maybe the fact that Derrick is a human changed things this time. Princess Celestia may seek him out and he may not seek her. What complicates things is Derrick also made contact with Princess Luna. Princess Celestia was saddened just seeing Derrick with another pony, even if it was her own sister. eventually both of them could seek out Derrick, and there would be a very odd love triangle to consider. But this is very unlikely because Luna still loves Big Mac, and Princess Celestia may be to busy to have a relationship, let alone seek Derrick out. That might change once the season starts... Only time will tell...

Ugh... this is really boring... Sitting here waiting for this fucking food... Everyone at the table is talking but me, and I plan to keep it that way. However, that doesn't mean I won't listen in a little bit, well not really, I can't tell if I'm half asleep right now.

"Tia, we think it is unfair that Thou has personal students and we don't!" Luna said sadly.

Celestia giggled, " I never said you couldn't have a protégée, Lulu..." She said, with a shake of her head.

"Huzzah! We shall have our OWN Student, and they shall be better than yours!" Luna teased. Celestia raised her eyebrow, "Now, you shouldn't claim a student just because I have one! You must pick a pony who has a lot of potential! It is not a game to see who is better! Besides, I wouldn't mind if you taught my students a thing or two occasionally, you know a lot of things that I don't. " Celestia said reassuringly. "Hmm we shall teach them the art of dream walking!" Luna said with determination. "Oh you must give them time, sister. Derrick hasn't even sent me his first friendship letter yet..." Celestia said with a giggle.

The waiter finally decided to show the fuck up. She came out with all of our food (minus desert) held in her magic. We all started to eat as their separate conversations began to meld into one big one.

"So, Princess Celestia, are you going to dress up for Nightmare Night?" Twilight asked hopefully. "Oh no, no, no! I would be much to cranky if I stayed up that long..." Celestia said with a laugh. " What about you, Flash?" She asked. Flash scratched his head and shrugged " I dunno, Twilight... I'll probably be snoozing..." He said with a grin. "What about you, Shiny?" She asked. "Nah, probably not. I'm going to spend some quality time with Cadance!" He said and they nuzzled affectionately. Twilight sighed in annoyance "Big Mac? Are you going?" She asked. Mac tapped his chin In thought " Yeah.. Ah probably will since ma sis is goin'..." Twilight smiled and turned to me. "Are going, DJ?" She asked suddenly. I was only halfway paying attention to the conversation because meh.

"Going to what?" I ask in annoyance, bringing my head up lazily.

"To Nightmare Night!" She said. I sat there in confusion.

"What the fuck is Nightmare night?" I asked, prompting everyone to laugh.

"It's when everypony dresses up in costumes and celebrate Luna's night by giving out candy, scaring ponies, and other festivities..." Twilight explained. Ha! That shit is just like Halloween! It was an OK holiday for me I guess. It was an excuse to gorge myself on piles of candy, and I would see people with some pretty cool costumes sometimes, but here? They'll probably all just annoy me.

"Sure... I'll dress up as a human..." I said sarcastically, "Oh, that would be great!" You would fool everypony! " Twilight said with a giggle. "Seriously though... Screw that, I'm not going..." I said with a frown as I finished my sandwich. "Aw, why not? Come on, it'll be fun!" Twilight pleaded. "I'm not dressing up for that crap, Twilight..." I said again as I tasted my coffee. Wow, that's way better than the coffee I had at that restaurant! "I would suggest that you go, Derrick, it would be great fun and you could make a lot of friends during the celebration!" Celestia said. Ugh... Not this "friendship" shit again. I swear, ponies are so sappy.

"Yeah, no. I agreed to go make a few friends in Ponyville and learn magic with Twilight, not go to some annoying celebration..." I said with a frown. Celestia just looked at me with disappointment and shook her head. "Well if you stay in the library then you have to give out candy to the fillies..." Twilight said with a smug grin. I just scoffed and rolled my eyes. Then they started talking about "Hearths Warming" which was basically just Christmas.

"I'm not participating in that either. I don't have any solid income yet..." I said with a shrug, it seemed like everyone here was going to get each other something. "Speaking of money... Princess Celestia!" I called out. "You kinda owe me 250 bits..." I reminded. She deadpanned and her horn glowed. a large sack of what I assume was the bits appeared above me. "Thanks, Princess-AHHH!" I yelped. The bag of bits landed on my crotch, and if I remember correctly bits are made of solid fucking GOLD! Guess what? That shit is heavy!

I fell sideways out of the chair clutching my crotch in pain, a small tear in my eye. "Woah, you OK there partner?" Mac called out as he stood up. "FUUUUCK!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, prompting everyone to jump out of thier seats. "What happened?" Twilight asked with concern. "Balls....gold....heavy.......crushed....fuck..." I squeaked out incoherently. Twilight tilted her head in confusion before putting two and two together, and she started snickering, along with all the other girls.

"Is....is he crying?" Luna choked out as she busted out laughing prompting the other girls to laugh as well. "Ouch..." Flash said with a cringe "That's gotta hurt..." Shining said with simpathy. Only the guys here understand my pain.... Damn alicorns... And unicorn...

After another minute of suffering, the pain became somewhat bearable and my eyes were dry. I slowly climbed back into my chair, plopping the heavy sack of bits onto the table. The girls were still laughing "Oh, I am terribly sorry, Derrick. I didn't mean for it to land...THERE..." Celestia said nervously. "Yeah, whatever..." I muttered angrily, meanwhile Luna was sticking her tongue out at me. So you thought that was funny, Inkbutt? I got a mischievous smile as I made my next move. I subtly used my magic to tilt Luna's chair making it and her fall over, jokes on you now! Everyone started laughing as she quickly bounced back up, she was absolutely furious. "Who would DARE knock the Princess of the night out of her chair!?!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. We stopped for a few seconds then we started laughing again. Even Celestia couldn't help snickering a little. I yawned casually and smirked. Yeah, I don't think a millisecond even went by before those cyan eyes were in my face again. To avoid any potential horn grinding, I immediately turned into my human form.

"Derrick! Did thou knock over our chair?!" She asked with a frown.

"Nope. I was just sitting here... In pain...because nuts..." I muttered, rolling my eyes. She narrowed her eyes and got closer in an attempt to intimidate me. Jesus, does she do this shit to everyone? All I know is it's not working right now. "Yes thy did! Thou used magic to tilt our chair!" She accused. Ya know its hard to keep a straight face with her. "No, I didn't... It's not my fault you're clumsy and can't sit in a chair properly..." I said with a smirk. "We suppose thy thinks this is amusing?" Luna said with annoyance. "Yeah, pretty much. You thought it was funny when my sack was crushed by...a sack." Luna suddenly turned my chair facing her with magic, the temperature seemed to drop a few million degrees and she stared into my soul.

"Heed my words, Derrick Young, I will get you for the embarrassment you have caused me today, so watch yourself... For you will suffer this night!" Luna said sternly, as she poked my chest with each syllable. Whoa... pause for a second... She said my FULL name just now.... And she dropped the old English too... And she didn't scream it in my face... OK, I think I should officially be scared now...

Luna walked back to her seat without a word and continued to eat, it seems nobody in the room heard how creepy Luna was 5 seconds ago. Ah well.... CAFFEINE!

Everyone started to talk again as they continued to eat. I was done with everything besides my coffee. Flash, Mac and Shining seemed to be done already too, but the girls seemed to be taking their time with their food. I got bored and reached into the sack of ball busting gold and pulled out a bit. I examined it and it turned out they all had a picture of Celestia on it, kinda like the Presidents on quarters and dollars I guess. Hmm.... I wonder if Princess Luna is on a coin too? Probably...

Hmmm... I can make things pop out of thin air... it would be funny if I could duplicate these bits. "So, what exactly is stopping me from duplicating these?" I wondered aloud. "Every Equestrian bit is sealed with an enchantment that prevents them from being copied by magic, but in the event that they are copied it would be considered a felony, and would be delt with accordingly..." Celestia answered eyeing me suspiciously.

"Come on! I'm not that much of a jerk! I wouldn't ruin your economy by inflating the market with duplicated money!" I said with a frown, Believe it or not I do have SOME morals! I think...

"OK, I'll take your word for it." Celestia said with relief as she went back to eating. "It's nice to know that your-" "-totally going to try it once to see if it works!" I interrupted with a mischievous grin. With a snap of my fingers and a flash of light, I now had 2 bits in my hand. The reactions were mixed again. the guys thought it was the coolest shit ever, while the girls looked disappointed in me... Well except Luna, she thought it was cool too.

"That was amazing Derrick! Can thou do that aga-" she stopped when Celestia gave her a stern look."- uh we mean... Do that again and thy will rot in the dungeon! " she said with a fake frown. "Chill out girls. Here, I'll get rid of it..." I snapped my fingers again and the bit disappeared. Celestia snorted angrily, sitting back in her chair she drank some of her tea.

Now that I was done playing with the bits, I put the sack in my drawstring bag. Heh.... I forgot that I have a bottle in here, I have to remember to fill it up with something later. OK... I've been done eating for a while now. Oh shit here comes the dessert!

We all got assorted cakes, nothing unsual to report here... except for the fact that Celestia's cake serving was twice as big as even Mac's, and I'm sure he can eat a ton! "Try not to embarrass thyself Tia, we're sure no pony here wants to see thou make a mess of thy cake." Luna teased. Celestia frowned and everyone giggled. She turned to her sister, "Perhaps you should watch how much cake you eat, Lulu, the Royal Plot is getting quite thick..." Celestia said with a smirk, well once again the joke is on you, Luna. Everyone laughed harder, even I chuckled a little. "Oh sister? I would say thy Plot has grown considerably, has thee forgotten about thy Royal diet?" Luna said. The laughter raised again, Celestia deadpanned and stared at her little sister who wore a confident smile.

"Shut up and eat cake..." She said as she used magic to shove a large piece of cake into Luna's mouth. We all basically lost our shit at this point. Oh my gosh the look on her face is fucking PRICELESS! The best part was Celestia did it with some force, so most of the piece just ended up splattering in her face. Then without a word, Luna slammed a cake back into Celestia's face, except she slammed the entire cake. Some of it splattered on Cadance too. Shining found that particularly funny but I guess Cadance didn't appreciate his obnoxious laughter, because she slammed a cake into his face, making Flash laugh loudly. Then i saw Shining frown and i saw him slowly raise cake over Flash's head.... OK... I see where this shit is going... Time to bail!

I quickly got up and started to run away. I didn't get far because Luna decided my hoodie would look nice with vanilla frosting splattered on the back. Great, I'm going to have to get this shit washed, and most of these motherfuckers don't even wear clothes so finding somewhere to wash these will be a pain... Ugh...

They all threw cake around until everyone was covered in the stuff and they ran out of cake to throw. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't resist the chance to nail Luna with cake during the mess so I was rewarded with another splat of frosting to my face. Somehow the cake only managed to hit my hoodie, so at least I could keep my shorts on until I find somewhere to wash this shit. Thankfully, everyone got their revenge so no more cake was sailing through the air. I felt somewhat immature having participated in a food fight just now. Not sure if that's bad, because I'm definitely not known for being the most mature guy.

"Dammit, guys! You got my clothes dirty!" I muttered in annoyance. "Don't fret, Derrick! Everything in the room will be cleaned. Lulu, do you mind?" Celestia said. "Certainly not!" Luna said, her horn lit up and in a blinding flash of light all the cake splats were gone instantly, including the ones on my clothes, I still kinda hate the idea of magic, but boy is it handy! Wait a sec... If she cleaned my hoodie, then maybe that sweaty undershirt in my bag is clean too. Yep! I'm putting it on right now, because its a little chilly to be honest.

I casually removed my hoodie so I could put on the undershirt, but once again I forgot who I'm doing shit around. "How did you get that scar, DJ?" Twilight asked curiously. I thought all my skin's imperfections went away when I came here. Well I guess not. Dammit... That scar... That's a trip down memory lane I don't want to take anytime soon. That horrible accident... Dammit, I'd almost forgotten the whole thing entirely... "It's nothing..." I said as readied my shirt with a frown. "Really? It doesn't look like nothing, that scar goes across most of your midsection-" "-I said it was nothing! Don't ask!" I said angrily. That scar is a story I don't want to tell again... Ever... "Sheesh... Sorry..." Twilight said nervously, holding her hoofs up. I noticed the Princesses were quiet about the whole thing, Cadance had a pained expression while Celestia and Luna were... Admiring my pecs? I can't tell from thier expressions, but they're staring a little too hard... the guys weren't even paying attention.

As I slipped the shirt over my head, Twilight spoke up again "Well, what about that mark?" She asked, pointing to my chest again. "Shut up or else I'll give you a scar!" I threatened, wait a sec... I have a mark there? What the hell? I don't remember getting another scar...

There were 3 small circular dots in a pattern around where my heart would be, and it looked like Wolverine stabbed me with his claws. Strange thing was, I felt pain there when my alicorn form tried to possess me. Huh... This definitely wasn't there when I took the sweaty shirt off this morning. "How did you get those?" Twilight asked again. I quickly put the shirt back on and the hoodie over it. "Seriously, it's nothing..." I said with a nervous smile. I need to go somewhere and look at this in private... "So, uh, where's the bathroom?" I asked quickly. "Outside of that door, down the stairs, take 2 rights and it's there..." Shining said verbatim without even looking at me. Heh, I guess somebody managed to figure out the layout of the damn castle.

"Thanks! I'll be right back..." I said as I quickly got up and jogged toward one of the doors. Before I could leave Shining called out "Other side!" I did a u-turn and face palmed."I'm tired of this over complex castle... " I muttered to myself, spawning a few laughs. I took the shortcut and just slid on top of the table instead of walking around it. That got a bunch of odd looks, so I bolted out of the door. I didn't really need the bathroom yet, just a place with a mirror and privacy. Wait... That would be the bathroom... Yeah... Probably should have paid attention to what Shining said.

OK, he said out the door... Down some stairs.... Then take a left? Wait no! He said a right and then he said go up some stairs... Nope, that's not right. He said take a right, then go up some stairs.... FUCK I'M LOST!!! Ah well, l guess if I wander around, I'll find it eventually right?

...

There is no way in hell I'm finding a fucking bathroom in this damn labyrinth! I've been walking for a good 15 minutes now, and I don't see a bathroom anywhere! And no I'm not asking any guards for directions, because right now they're those batpony pricks, they changed shifts with the day guard. I guess Celestia will lower the sun and Luna will raise the moon soon. Somehow, I ended up wandering into this garden area of the castle where there were a bunch of statues. Let's hope I can find a mirror before it gets dark or something... There! I found a mirror next to a... Strange statue... Wha... What is this? Is this supposed to be ART?

The statue was a really tall Dragon....Lion.....Bird.....Goat...Pony....Bat...Deer...Thing. I don't even... Let's just say there are some creative pony artists... Or Equestria has some serious drugs... Or both. Jeez, its disturbing.... Yet... I have the strange urge to touch it. I slowly raised my hand as if in a trance to touch the statue. Then I heard a voice in my head whispering to me as I got closer, it whispered "Release me..." Then I felt that pressure in my chest from earlier and that evil blood thirsty urge, shit this statute is bad news! But I can't stop myself!

"Derrick?" Called a voice behind me and I snapped out of my trance and withdrew my hand. I turned around to see Princess Celestia with a concerned look, welp there goes "privacy". How the heck did she find me anyway? For some reason the darkness went away when I saw her, as if whatever entity is taking me over suddenly went into hiding.

"Am I correct in guessing that you didn't find the bathroom?" Celestia said with a smirk. "Eeyup..." I said with a chuckle. You know, I noticed something funny about Celestia, she has this strange habit of sneaking up on you. How she manages to do that with her size and those metal slipper things I'll never know. "So, uh...what brings you here Princess?" I asked nervously. Her face turned grim, "That mark on your chest; I think I've seen it before... " she said. I shifted uncomfortably. I'm pretty sure she's talking about the Wolverine scar. "If it is OK with you, I would like to examine it up close to make sure." She asked.

Hmm... this won't be awkward or anything. But it seems like she knows what she's doing, so with slight hesitation I lifted my shirt and hoodie to reveal the strange scar... mark... Whatever. Celestia stepped closer and examined it, at first she was calm but her eyes slowly began to widen as she looked longer. I think that's bad news. Celestia stepped back with a fearful expression, "It's just as I feared..." She said with worry. Uh oh. Then as if someone turned on the fucking Luna signal, the moon Princess landed a few feet away from us. Seriously, am I an alicorn magnet? How the fuck do they know where I am? I'm gonna lose my shit if Cadance drops in too...

"There thou are sister! We were worried about thee both!" Luna said as she walked up to us. Then she gave us a WTF look as she glanced between us. "Sister...Why is thou staring at Derrick's bare chest?" Luna questioned. Celestia got an annoyed look and pointed to the mark "Sister, look! Do you recognize this mark?" Celestia said in a serious tone. Luna looked at it for a second before gasping. "We do, sister. Are we going to perform the seal?" Luna asked as both sisters shared serious faces.... Wait what? Seal? What are they talking about?

"Yes, sister, there is no time to waste. It must be done immediately before it's too late!" Celestia said, Um, what are they about to do? "Discord's madness will not claim another this day!" Luna said confidently. "Uh, your highnesses, you lost me... What are you about to do?" I question nervously. They both said nothing and nodded to each other and turned to me. They're horns started to glow and they slowly started walking up to me. OK, this is creeping me out! "Derrick, I need you to lay down on the ground flat on your back..." Celestia said, as they drew closer to me. "Uh, Princess I still don't even know what a Discord is-" "NOW!" She commanded sternly. OK, they aren't fucking around...

So I quickly did what they said and layed down on my back. OK, I'm actually really scared right now... They got on either side of me and they were both charging some spell. Maybe they're going to seal away that...thing inside me? "Art thou ready?" Luna asked Celestia, "Yes. This is going to hurt Derrick..." Celestia said as they both stuck they're hooves out toward my chest. Well that sure is reassuring! Usually people say "Oh, this will only hurt a little" but I guess Celestia skipped the bullshit.

They both brought their hooves down on my chest where that dark mark was, and it flashed a sickly green color before slowly starting to fade away. Oh yeah, and it hurt like hell... So, ouch and shit. That searing pain went on for what seemed like an eternity before finally subsiding. My face was frozen in a state of suffering as the Princesses removed they're hooves having done the... Hurt like hell seal (yeah I don't know what else to call it) on me.

I immediately sat upright with a frown, "What the hell! Do you girls mind explaining what the fuck you sealed?" I yelled angrily clutching my chest. "The chaos magic inside you was slowly corrupting you, so we had to seal some of it away before it changed you..." Celestia explained. "But I thought my alicorn magic was keeping it in check?" I questioned. "It WAS, until recently. I am not entirely sure, but your alicorn transformation may have caused this somehow..." Celestia said with uncertainty. "Perhaps thou used too much power at the time?" Luna said. OK, I'm confused. The princesses started to explain what the hell they meant.

...

"Woah woah woah.... So let me get this straight... I turned into an alicorn using a large amount of chaos magic, which effected the balance of magic in my body, then the chaos magic tried to posses me, so you two sealed it up?" I said, trying to understand the events. "Yes, more or less" Celestia confirmed. "We had to act immediately before Discord's corruption took over thy body!" Luna said. "Uh... what the hell is a Discord?" I blurted in frustration. They both just pointed to that weird ass statue that was behind me. "Oh, that thing..." I said sheepishly as I stared at it. "He is a Draconequus who once ruled over Equestria in a state of unhappiness, causing everypony misery and pain..." Celestia explained. "Luna and I stopped him utilizing the Elements of Harmony" she said.

I raised my brow and was about to ask just what the fuck the "Elements of Harmony" were when Luna shushed me. "His chaos magic was known to corrupt ponies, changing them for the worse. Happy ponies would become cranky and mean, heroic ponies would become cowards. But those are minor changes compared to what he did to some...." She trailed off for a moment before continuing. "He would instill some with his chaotic essence, making them his slaves. They would wander aimlessly and do anything he commanded without question. In order to turn somepony into a servant he would need to make direct physical contact with them. it would take time for the corruption to manifest in the victim, but once you're corrupted there is not much that can help you" Celestia said grimly. "How come the scar didn't appear until now?" I asked, because like I said earlier, I would notice 3 fucking holes in my chest. "The mark is more a representation of your corruption rather than physical damage, it will fade in and out depending on how much your chaos magic is corrupting you..." Celestia explained.

Hmm... so basically this mismatched Picasso motherfucker right here was fucking shit up 1000 or so years ago and Celestia and Luna were like "That's not cool bro" and they kicked his ass with the "Elements of Harmony" and its been gumdrops and ice cream ever since? Sounds about right...

"Discord must have somehow attempted to corrupt you" Celestia said gesturing to where the scar was. Ah, I see... this dickwad stabbed me and injected this chaos shit into me. "When and why is the mystery before us..." Luna said with a heavy sigh. "Yeah... I must have been involved in some weird time travel, multi-dimensional BS on the day I can't remember!" I said with a chuckle, That improved the Princesses mood a little bit. "Well, the seal should last about a month before it has to be recast, or else you'll risk complete corruption..." Celestia muttered. "Wait... No chaos magic? I can't transform anymore?" I asked frantically, I quickly transformed into a unicorn and sighed in relief. "Nay, the purpose of thy seal is to restrict the use of large amounts of chaos magic, to stop thy corruption..." Luna explained, so that means no more alicorn me, but that's what caused this shit in the first place so I'm glad.

"Unfortunately this will not work forever, so we need a permanent solution to this eventually." Celestia said with a heavy heart. "Eh, I'll be fine... I'm too epic to become some mutated ponie's slave..." I said waving it off in an attempt to lighten up the mood because it's starting to depress me. "Oh...uh... Thanks Princesses. For the seal and everything." I said with a nervous smile as I rubbed the back of my head. "Aw, your welcome Derrick!" Celestia said happily. She was about to nuzzle me but I pushed her barrel back. "No!" I said sternly, removing my hand from a very confused Celestia. They both regarded me in confusion. "What's wrong?" Celestia asked innocently.

"No nuzzling! It's weird and uncomfortable..." I said with a slight shudder. The sisters looked to each other with surprise. Then I saw they're horns give off a slight static like spar. What the hell was that? Then they both got this half lidded seductive smile and they slowly turned back to me. "Uh... You two feeling alright?" I ask sheepishly, stepping back.

Then they both suddenly snatched me up into a loving embrace and nuzzled my cheeks affectionately. OK, this went from depressing to... Awkward really fast! Uh, this feels kinda nice... There both really warm and fuzzy... Heh, maybe dating a pony wouldn't be so bad after- Wait what the fuck am I thinking?

I tried to slip away from their grasp but it didn't work, because alicorns. Damn these ponies and they're innate cuteness and their touchie feely crap! "What's wrong?" They both asked with a giggle. "I'm still mad at both of you..." I sputtered. "Aww, is thou upset because we splattered thee with cake?" Luna teased. "Aww, still mad about that accident with the gold?" Celestia said with a giggle and a blush. OK, this is kinda cozy, but this is giving me weird "fantasies" that I didn't know I wanted, so I think that's enough hugging FOREVER!!! I finally slipped out of they're grip, jumped back and stared at them. They sat there giggling like little girls, they really are acting strange I wonder if... Nah, they're probably just fucking with me.

"So does this mean you're not getting revenge Princess Luna?"

"Nay, thou will still suffer this night..." Luna replied, her kind smile fading immediately.

"Fiddle sticks..." Well at least she's back to normal...

After that the Princesses did their lower the sun, raise the moon and shit, we headed indoors. Apperantly Twilight, Mac and I were going to go back to Ponyville tonight, so we met back up with everyone. They all gave us puzzled glances while Cadance had this weird grin. I swear she knows something I don't and it's starting to get irritating. "So... I take it you didn't find the bathroom..." Shining said with a chuckle. "Hell no!" I grunted. " You ended up in the garden didn't you." He guessed. "Hell yeah!" I said with a frown. They all began to laugh and I face palmed, "Yeah. Happens to everypony, I had to learn the hard way!" Shining said with a nervous smile, wait a second.... EWWW!!!

"OK, then.." I said, somewhat creeped out. "So when are we leavin'?" Mac asked curiously. "The Royal Carriage to Ponyville will be leaving at 9:00, it is currently 8:00." Celestia answered, how the fuck she knows what time it is right now without a clock in sight will remain a mystery to me. "Alright everypony, my shift ended a while ago, I really have to head home." Flash said to us all. We exchanged goodnights, Flash whispered something in Twilight's ear that made her blush, Shining got pissed, and he was gone. I doubt I'll see him much once I go to Ponyville, I guess he's an alright guy but he's a bit annoying sometimes.

"Well I think its time for us to hit the hay, what do you think, honey?" Cadance asked with a wink as she bumped Shining. "Hey... I'm not even tired-" he started before getting bumped by Cadance again "-oh I mean (fake yawn) yeah... I am kinda sleepy.... Er, goodnight everypony!" Shining said. Then they both zipped around a corner. Geez, those two are in a hurry! I wonder what they're going to do. A second later, Cadance popped her head around the corner, "I hope you reconsider what you said about finding a special somepony!" She said with warm smile. I rolled my eyes, folded my arms and sighed, after that awkward embrace I want to avoid thinking about that kind of stuff for a while. I think that awkward hug will forever be scorched into my memory, which is going to suck because sometimes my mind tends to sink into the gutter, no matter how messed up it is...

Well, I don't know what to do with myself now, We have to wait for an hour for the damn carriage to take us back, So I kinda just plopped into the nearest seat with a sigh. It was just Me, Mac, Twilight and the Princesses now. They more or less did the same thing I did except they were talking again. They sat around me and talked, a few minutes went by before they turned to me. "Hey Derrick, what's your hobby?" Twilight asked randomly, I guess they were talking about their hobbies and they wondered what mine was. Too bad I'll never be able to play video games again, besides the apps on my phone, it is a truly depressing thought.

"It doesn't matter now..." I said dryly. "Oh come on, DJ! We're going to be studying together for a while, and I barely know anything about you!" Twilight pouted. "*sigh*, fine..." They all anxiously awaited my answer. "I used to play video games..." I said plainly. They all sat silent staring at me, then they snickered behind their hoofs. "Uh... Isn't that a little... Foalish? Twilight said with a giggle. Foalish? What does that mean? Wait a sec... Foal.... Child..... Childish! "How the hell is it foalish???" I demanded. Twilight started to explain what she meant. Basically, they DO have some form of video games here, but they are really simple games that little kids usually play. I'm not even going to get into why it makes no fucking sense that they have video games but not TV or even radio. From how she's describing them they sound a lot like old arcade machines with really basic games.... Like fucking PONG basic. Oh, and they run on magic... I don't know why I even got my hopes up, video games here sound like weak sauce...

"Human video games started off as simple kids games too, but over the years they became way more advanced and more complex to the point where people of ALL ages could enjoy them. It would be easier for me to just show you, but I don't exactly have an Xbox with me..." I said with annoyance. Then Twilight said something I didn't think about. "Your chaos magic lets you conjure up objects, right? Why not just do that with your video games?" Twilight suggested. "Hmmm.... That could work! Aww, wait, then I'd have to figure out how to get them to run on magic..." I said with disappointment. "I guess I could work towards it eventually. It will be worth it in the long run." I said with a shrug. "Please do! We wish to see these human video games of yours..." Luna said with interest "I do as well! They must be splendid for them to be enjoyed by all" Celestia added.

"The seal might complicate things though. I don't know how much magic it would take to conjure up human tech." I said, rubbing my chin in thought. "What seal?" Twilight questioned. Celestia started explaining what happened in the garden (minus the awkward hug) and Twilight and Mac listened closely. I didn't really mind that they were telling Mac about it, this just saves me the trouble of telling him myself. While they did that, I checked my watch. It's 8:50, time to go soon.

"Well, the carriage should be ready soon. Is everypony ready to leave?" Celestia asked. We all nodded and started going through the infinite maze that was Canterlot Castle, somehow ending up at the back area where all the transportation stuff was. Luna didn't go with us because she had to "watch over the night" or something. I'm not exactly sure how she plans to "Make thee suffer!" but I hope she can't really go into dreams, or I will never sleep again. Well, if I manage to sleep anyway... That coffee kinda did its thing a little too well.

When we arrived the guards were latching up onto the carriage, this time I didn't recognize them and the carriage looked a bit.. Bland? Well compared to Luna's at least. Hey, I wonder what Celestia's looks like? This one can't be her's because I can see 3 copies of the one in that storage area. "Well, this is when I say farewell my little ponies, I wish you all a safe return, and I hope you have a good night." Celestia said warmly.

Mac and I just nodded "You too, Princess Celestia!" Twilight said as they nuzzled. I turned into my unicorn form and stretched "Dawning Jade, I will give you some time to adjust in Ponyville before I expect any friendship letters.." Celestia informed, Wait. She was serious about that? I thought I just had to make friends and learn magic and...

...

Well shit...

"Uh... I'm not exactly the best... At formal letters." I said with a sheepish smile as I rubbed my neck. "Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine! Twilight Sparkle can assist you if you need help." Celestia said with a giggle as she turned to walk away. I deadpanned and turned toward the carriage. Twilight and Mac were already in it, but before I got in I felt something warm against my cheek, I turned to see Princess Celestia giving me a kiss. I instantly froze in place and blushed. I swear she gets enjoyment out of making me feel awkward or something.

"Uh...goodnight Princess...." I said nervously "Stay out of trouble." Celestia said with a wink, then walked away giggling. I made sure she was gone before climbing into the carriage. Where Twilight and Mac were waiting with...with..... Wow... You know that face that Spongebob gave Squidward when he caught him eating the Crabby Patties after he claimed he didn't like them? Yeah... That's these two motherfuckers right now. "You liked that kiss didn't ya, partner?" Mac questioned smugly. "No. I don't know what your talking about bro..." I said as calm as possible. We were interrupted by the guards taking off into the sky, steadily heading down toward Ponyville. "I should probably get into character now..." I said as I cleared my throat. "Speaking of character, what exactly do you plan to do DJ, uh, I mean, Dawning Jade?" I thought for a second before giving her the rundown.

"OK, so I'm a student from Canterlot that's staying with you to learn magic and make friends and shit..." I said. "OK, but what about the others?" Mac asked. "I dunno... I was thinking of using my pegasus and earthpony forms to work. Say Mac," I said as I looked to him and turned into an earthpony. "Would it be fine if I came and worked on the farm with you from time to time?" I asked. "Sure, partner! We need all the hooves we can get, especially with the harvest coming up..." Then he frowned " Ah don't know what my sister would think of ya, though... " he said with a troubled expression. "Dude, just tell her I'm from out of town or something and I drop in every once in a while to earn some bits" I said, dismissing the thought.

Mac still looked a bit troubled "Ah don't know DJ... My sister IS the Element of Honesty, so she might see right through our fib!" He said with a nervous smile, What? "Element of Honesty?" I questioned aloud. Twilight was MORE than happy to explain "My friends and I together represent the 6 Elements of harmony, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and Magic. Through friendship the Elements can face any evil threat!" Twilight explained. I blinked once.... Twice...Three times.

"WAT?"

"Applejack represents the Element of Honesty-" Hmm... She was pretty straightforward about things as far as I can tell. "-Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty-" never would have guessed that... "-Rarity is the Element of Generosity-" Well, she did try to make me clothes... Without fucking asking! "-Pinkie pie is the Element of Laughter-" she didn't make me laugh... She just made my brain cry trying to understand her. "-Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness-" Ha! More like the element of... Shyness! Hahahaha, OK, I know it's not funny. "-and I am the Element of Magic!" Twilight said confidently. "Did not see that one coming." I said sarcastically. Twilight smiled proudly, I honestly had a feeling there was some deeper connection that the six of them had.

"God dammit!" I blurted out suddenly slamming my hoof into my face. "What's wrong?" Twilight questioned. "I just remembered that since I'm 'new' , I'm going to have to meet everyone... Again..." I muttered with distaste. "That means another Pinkie party..." Twilight giggled. Yay... Another awkward party I'll probably end up drunk at... "Don't remind me about that pink menace... I still don't believe she's the Element of Laughter..." I said with an angry snort.

Then I had random question "Wait... if you guys are the Elements of Harmony, how the hell did the Princesses defeat Discord with you guys... A thousand years ago?" I asked in confusion. "No, no, no! The Elements of Harmony are physical objects as well as- we're here" Twilight said as we landed in Ponyville.

The town was silent, there were few ponies walking around but for the most part it seemed everyone was indoors. We got off the carriage and it left back to Canterlot. "Alright, ponies, I'm headin' home... Ah'll see y'all later..." Mac said with a yawn as he walked away towords the farm. Twilight and I walked into her treehouse. The candles weren't lit but you could still see enough to know where you're going thanks to moonlight. I guess Spike is asleep or something, otherwise I'm sure he would have rushed downstairs by now. Good, because I don't feel like explaining anything yet. "I'm not sure where you should stay. I don't have a room ready..." Twilight said as she rubbed her chin. "Hey, I can just crash on the coach for now. We can figure out sleeping arrangements and all that jazz tomorrow, just get some sleep." I said as I lay down on the coach. "Oh, alright then. Goodnight... Dawning Jade." She said as she quietly walked upstairs to her room. "Goodnight, Twilight Sparkle." I responded. I finally get to lay back and think about things...

Wow... Day 2 in Equestria. And it's been completely fucking nuts! I have an ancient and powerful magic inside me that is slowly trying to possess me, and is being held at bay by a temporary seal. I'm am now a student of Princess Celestia, and Twilight Sparkle's colleague. I'm also going to live a triple life... Dawning Jade the unicorn, Dauntless the earthpony, and Drift Jolt the pegasus. I also accidentally got a little to close to the Princesses on multiple occasions and managed to not get my horn cut off for it. Yep, today has been INSANE! I doubt tomorrow can even come close... Did I just jinx myself? Maybe...

I was right about the coffee thing... I'm not feeling sleepy yet, despite my eyes being closed. Whatever, I'll just chill until the caffeine gives up. I open my eyes and glance out the window. The full moon was completely visble as it brightly hung over the world, it was pretty nice and peaceful to say the least.

*SWOOSH*

"What was that???" I said aloud. I could have sworn I saw something dart by the window... Eh, probably just seeing things...

I played back down and closed my eyes again.

*SWOOSH*

Woah, there it is again! This is kinda creepy... I'm just going to ignore that sound, and try and sleep anyway. I took a deep breath and exhaled deeply, I suddenly felt... Strange... Like someone is right in front of me... My eyes snapped open to reveal beautiful cyan eyes...

...

For fuck's sake, Luna's on top of me!

"Uh... What brings you here, Princess?" I questioned frantically. "We said thou will suffer this night, did we not?" Luna said with narrowed eyes. "Yeah but I-" I paused when Luna's eyes glowed white and she got closer. "Sleep..." She said coldy, staring into my eyes. Is she trying to hypnotize me? "Nah, the coffee won't allow it, I'm not gonna-" I started, before falling victim to Luna's power and passing out on the coach... Haha, I'm gonna die...

Author's Notes:

Notes: If any of you out there didn't have a good childhood, and don't know what face I was talking about, just Google "Spongebob face" and it should be one of the first image results... Anyway this took a while because video games, school and lazyness. I also had to change the first scene around a bit because initially there wasn't much freakout.

Something that was bothering me was the fact I couldn't release Halloween and Christmas chapters on the actual days because I don't write fast enough. They WILL be done but that's still kinda far. So far on the list is Nightmare Night (very close), Hearths Warming and the Gala. In that order. Not sure where the mating season will fit in but it will be there... Along with Hearts and Hooves... Of course I COULD put them in any order I wanted I suppose (because its a fan fiction and doesn't have to follow the main canon) but I'm curious what the readers want to see, so I may make a poll or just leave it in a review (I hate doing that though because y'all will end up answering the question but not saying what you think of the chapter!)

The thing with the scar is key to a later story arc that will be full of the dramas and shit.

The thing with the nut busting gold was a reference to one of my favorite fanfics.

Not sure when this will actually be released but merry Christmas motherfuckers!