Act 1 part 5: impossible magics!

I woke up pretty easily, having slept peacefully throughout the entire night completely undisturbed. I sat up in bed and stretched, hmm... that's weird... The ceiling looks a lot lower than usual. I noticed the sun wasn't up yet for whatever reason as well... I guess I got up early... I also noticed my hands were glowing again, danm... the magic didn't go away... Well I guess im kinda glad I still have it because now I get to screw around with it today! Sigh... Guess I should get up... Hey wait... is my bed glowing? Na just golden bud fucking with my head...

I processed to lazily roll off the side of the bed, expecting to fall a foot to the floor. So you can imagine I was surprised when I turned and saw the floor 15 feet away from me....and...Fuck my life...

I slammed into the floor face first with a loud bump, a painful grunt, and a few creative curses. I eventually rolled over onto my side to see Princess Celestia poking her head into the room looking worried.

"A..are you OK?"

"Yeah...I just fell 15 fucking feet face first...I feel amazing!" I muttered, the sarcasm practically palpable.

"You don't look that hurt to me..." Celestia said with a giggle.

Wait a second... She's right! That fall should have broken something... But instead I was slightly bruised... I can definitely conclude now that physics here simply aren't as harsh as back home, and something about this place just naturally reinvigorates my body... I feel stronger, I can run faster, take more damage and my skin cleared up! Not entirely sure if that's a positive but I'm gonna roll with it.

"Yeah something about this place has made me stronger... I should have broken bones right now..." I said with a shrug.

"Perhaps the magic has strengthened your body?" Celestia said.

I looked to my hands with a frown, the bed was still floating in the air, I must of somehow did this in my sleep.

"Yup...accidental levitation while you're sleeping... Oh the joys of having magic...who knew?" I said sarcastically as I lowered the bed to the ground softly, making Celestia giggle. As she did I got a wiff of my pits and boy did I sweat last night!

"Hey is there a place I can wash up?" I asked, I felt kind of filthy right now, guess that's what happens when you wear a warm hoodie to sleep.

"There's a bathroom right there Derrick...." Celestia said with a deadpan expression, as she gestured to the far wall. What? How silly of me to not notice the fancy door with the big ass sign that says "Bathroom"... OK that actually was a silly of me... shut up.

I quickly stood up with a nervous smile.

" Uh yeah... Too busy...falling and being drunk... You know how it is.." I said in an attempt to explain my stupidity.

Celestia just shook her head with a chuckle.

"There is a fresh Toothbrush, Washcloth and Towel waiting for you inside already. Just knock on my door when you're finished.." Celestia said as she closed the door and left.

"Mkay..." I said simply as I went into the bathroom. Not much to report here... It was pretty much like a regular human bathroom except the lightbulbs weren't as fancy... Wait lightbulbs? I guess some places have those weird magic candles and some just have electricity.... Twilight said they use those weird magic orbs instead of batteries... Uh it doesn't matter too much, I don't really Care as long as the place was lit.

I looked at myself in the fancy mirror and thought, let's see what hygiene products do they have? I don't see a razor, or a nail clipper here, so I guess that'll be fun to deal with in a few days...and I don't see any deodorant either....sigh....

I angrily flipped my bag over my shoulder and stuffed my hand into it, let's hope I brought some deodorant, i tend to carry it around just incase, and I did! I had a stick of Axe deodorant (I don't fuck with the spray....that's for scrubs who want cold armpits and wet clothes!). Thankfully these ponies had showers...so at least that will save some time...

Then again, how long will Celestia wait for me anyway? She must be busy because she rules the place and all, and I do want to get this procedure over with ASAP. So I decided to skip the shower, I ended up just taking off my undershirt (which had most of the sweat on it anyway), washing my armpits, and throwing my hoodie back on.

I looked in the fancy drawers for toothpaste and I found a tube. Please let this stuff not taste weird I thought as I put some onto the toothbrush. Luckily it tasted just like your average minty toothpaste! As I brushed I looked more closely at the tube. The brand was "Coltgate" instead of Colgate... Yeah.... puns... I feel like this will become a vey annoying trend here... Unless they have some sort of horse pun for Xbox, or Reese's, or even the internet, im probably going to pry my hair out when ponies talk about their products.

After washing my face and doing all the standard wash up things, I marched out of the room and looked around. Let's see which room would be Celestia's... Hmmm.... Maybe its the one with 4 guards and a Gigantic door...

I approached the door and the guards straightened up. Two of them moved to block the door and the other two walked up to me and stood in my way.

"What's up fellas?" I asked, wondering why they were blocking me.

"You cannot enter the Princess's private chambers without being searched first!" one of them said. Huh....well they have female guards here too... I should have known considering the gender ratio here is like 1:4. Regardless though, what the fuck! I hate it when people go through my shit... I feel like this is going to go badly.

"Remove everything from your pockets and take off your bag..." The girl guard said.

"Um how about no..." I said as I crossed my arms.

"Well then your not going anywhere!" She said sternly, OK.... they're pissing me off now.

"I don't have any weapons!" I said with a frown.

"Then what's this?" A guard behind me said as he held my pocket knife out of my bag.

Son of a bitch... Kinda forgot about that thing...curse my roommate...

"That's my pocket knife I said, "It was a gift from a friend!" I said as my eye twitched slightly.

"Looks like a weapon to me..." The batpony guard behind me said, as he shook his head in disappointment.

"Such a shame... you just said you didn't have one... What a lie... " the girl guard said with disgust.

"I may have... forgotten..." I said as I rubbed my neck nervously. Ugh... come on give a guy a break?

"You forgot? What a lame excuse..." The guard with the knife said behind me.

"Take him away..." The girl guard said as the guy guards pounced on me.

"What the... Hey get off me!" I yelled as they grabbed my arms and legs. OK... Ponies are kinda strong... And heavy... This may be harder then I thought...

"Sorry human, No exceptions..." She said with a grin, I started to get really pissed, I clenched my fists and I felt my magic slowly powering up.

Luckily before I hurt any of them, Princess Celestia swung the giant door to her chambers open and rushed out.

"What is the meaning of this!?" She asked with a frown, yes! Call off your dogs please!

"Bullshit..." I blurted quickly, the girl guard scoffed in response.

"Your Highness! this human had a WEAPON in his possession!" She said pointing to me accusingly, I just sat there with a deadpan expression, hopefully Celestia wouldn't freak about this...

"Really? Is that the weapon in question?" She asked gesturing to the small knife. The guard brought it closer so she could see, then Celestia took one look at it and deadpanned.

"Have you all forgotten? " she said as she facehoofed. All the guards sat confused, even I was, What is she talking about?

She sighed In annoyance and walked up to one of the guards holding a spear to my neck.

"May I see your spear for a moment..." She asked kindly.

The guard hesitated for a moment and brought it closer to himself, when the Princess gave him a stern look he submitted.

"Of course Princess..." He said obediently as she grabbed it with her magic.
She then made sure everyone was looking before she jabbed the spear into her side, wait... what the fuck?

Before anyone said anything she withdrew the spear and showed it to us. It was completely bent flat as if it was made of something weak like tinfoil, and there wasn't a single wound or drop of blood to be seen.

"Conventional blades cannot harm me..." she said with a bored expression, geez... Why does she even have guards?

"Right...I forgot your Highness we are terribly sorry..." the girl guard said looking embarrassed as her ears drooped.

"You forgot? What a lame excuse.." I teased making the guard glare at me before turning back nervously to the Princess.

"I forgive you, Derrick does not have bad intentions, he will not hurt anypony..." Celestia said looking at the guards with disappointment, yeah you're right Celestia, I won't hurt you... But those guards? I might break a few noses...muzzles...whatever...

"Now release him at once and return to your posts..." Celestia ordered.

"Yes your Highness!" They all said simultaneously, I shoved them off of me the second they did. After some more silence i followed Celestia into her room and the guards just sat at the door looking scared and embarrassed.

"Fucking guards..." I muttered angrily once we were inside, making Celestia giggle.

"They may have been wrong to stop you, but they were just doing they're jobs..." She reasoned.

" Well you could have told them I was coming! " I said with a frown.

" I did in fact tell them you were coming, however I was not aware you were carrying a weapon..." she said with a raised brow.

"It's just a pocket knife...I forget I even had the thing..." I said with a shrug.

"Besides its not like the danm thing could hurt you anyway..." I said as I pointed to her, making her smile confidently.

I started to actually look around the room and holy shit it was HUGE! Her bed looked like 6 Celestia's could sleep in it, the windows were big and they let in a lot of light, the curtains and furniture was fancy, everything was shiny... I guess this is what you except from the co-ruler of Equestria's room. I looked at the window again and noticed the sun STILL wasn't up, pretty sure it's time for sunrise...

"Wait a moment I must tend to something..." Celestia said as she walked over to her balcony, it overlooked a good amount of the castle, aswell as some of canterlot itself.

She took a deep breath and her horn started to glow, and I should have seen this bullshit coming MILES away... This bitch just moved the sun....she just reminded me why I hate this place...

She turned back to me like nothing happened.

"What were you saying Derrick?" She asked, I folded my arms and deadpanned.

"Derrick?" She said looking at me, puzzled.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, I just sat there in silence, eventually she just sighed and waited for me to speak.

"So..... you move the sun..." I said blankly.

"Yes?" She said, unsure where I was going with this.

"You can effortlessly control a collosal sphere of plasma with a surface temperature of over 5,778 Kelvin, that is easily hundreds of thousands of miles away?" I said with narrowed eyes. Celestia just nodded, I don't know know if ponies measure temperature or distance the same as humans, but she seemed to understand.

"Yes..." She said again with a sheepish smile, at that moment I laid my head In My hands with an annoyed sigh.

"If my little sister can control the moon and stars, then it isn't much of a stretch to say I can control the sun..." Celestia said with an annoyed glare. I just responded with an grumpy groan. Celestia shook her head slowly in disappointment.

"Well you do realize what this means right?" I said, the drunk feeling coming in again. Celestia turned to me curiously.

"I'm afraid I don't..."

"I'm going to blame you for every single case of sunburn, heatstroke, dehydration and especially when its too danm bright outside!"

I paused for a moment and added, "I'm also blaming Luna for any werewolfs and the tide ruining sand castles..." I added, Celestia just giggled like I was joking, what do you think this is a game?!? I have my serious face on! Take me seriously dammit!

"Well Derrick... it is not my fault that ponies don't wear enough sunblock and stay outdoors too long, or that they exhaust themselves in the heat, or that they don't drink enough water, or that they don't wear the proper eye protection..." She said innocently.

"However... I cannot speak for my sister regarding wereponies and ruined sand castles.." She added with a giggle.

"I'm going to sue the fuck out of you when I get sunburn..." I muttered quietly, Celestia rolled her eyes.

At that moment a random book decided it was cool to smack the shit out of my head, what the hell? I looked down and my hands were glowing again.

"My gosh... I've never seen someone's control over magic so..."

"So?"

"Random..." Celestia said with a cringe.

" Well it probably has something to do with the fact that sometimes I can't focus on anything that well, because of golden....oh look a bird!" I said as I was childishly distracted by a red, orange and yellow bird that landed on my shoulder.

"Oh... she's my Pet Phoenix Philomena!" Celestia said as the bird moved to my outstretched hand.

" A phoenix? Ha!.... She's not even on fire... You almost had me there..." I said with a yawn. The bird turned around and glared at me like it understood what I said. Then something crazy happened, the bird burst into flames in my hand.

"Oh look she's on fire..." I said calmly before I realized my motherfucking hand was burning! I proceeded to scream like a little bitch and run around the room flailing my arms around screaming.

"Get this thing off of me!!!" I yelled as my dumbass ran straight into a wall and fell on my ass. After that, the bird finally extinguished itself and jumped off of me looking satisfied with itself, then it disappeared just as suddenly as it appeared, this shit is going on the list...

"Princess?"

"Yes Derrick?" She respond, holding in a laugh as best as she could.

"I'm going to murder Philomena and eat her for dinner..." I muttered angrily, after debating on wether or not I was serious I guess she thought this was funny and she started laughing her ass off...er plot off....SAME THING!

"Hey! 3rd degree burns aren't a laughing matter!" I yelled as I waved my arm in front of her, making her pause.

"Instead of standing there you could like... Do your healing magic thing? I said in annoyance.

"Oh please its just a minor burn..." She said with a smirk.

"Now...please..." I said with a slight cringe.

The Princess chuckled as her golden magic healed me, man that feels really good...

"Not sure if gusta..." I said.

"What?"

"Forget it..."

I stood there staring at my hands now, since we apprantly had the same magic, maybe I could do things she could?

"I wonder if I can just heal myself..." I said aloud, prompting Celestia to clear her throat.

"Well that brings me to the first reason I brought you in here..." she said as her face got serious.

"If I really did unintentionally give you magic then you should be able to at least use some of the basic unicorn magics..." She explained.

"Like moving objects..."

"Check"

"Shooting lasers of varying strength..."

" Check "

"Sensing the magical aura of other ponies.."

"Che....uh no..."

"Wait I can do that?" I said in suprise.

"You should be able too...give it a try!" Celestia encouraged as she waited patiently.

"I have no clue how but OK..." I said with a shrug.

"Just remember... magic is primarily controlled by thought!" Celestia reminded with a tap to her forehead. OK so I guess I just think about sensing power aaaaaaaaaand........ HOLY FUCK! I fell backward because of the massive sensory overload I just received.

"What happened?" Celestia said as she quickly rushed over.

"Your power level...its over...................whelming... (ha you thought I was going to say 9000)" I said looking horrified.

"Yeah...I get that a lot..." Celestia said with a nervous smile.

"Jeez... and you're not the only one... I sense a few more..." I said as I rubbed my forehead.

"One is kinda close... It's pretty close to you in power..."

"That's my sister..." Celestia said.

"And there is one that is quite a bit lower than you two, but still significantly stronger than all the tiny ones I can feel."

"My faithful student, Twilight sparkle..."

"Then there is one more that's higher than Twilight's, but is a little farther right now..."

"Perhaps it's Shining Armor... I'm not sure if he is on duty at the moment..." Celestia said with slight uncertainty. What? "Shining armor" what the hell? Is that seriously a name?

I then proceeded to laugh my ass off, Celestia looked confused.

"What's so funny?" She asked, narrowing her eyes on me.

"I swear you ponies have some weird names..." I said as I finally finished, Celestia however did not look amused at all.

"Do not mistake my kindness for weakness... I do not appreciate you making fun of my ponies so often, I would appreciate it if you ceased..." She said sternly making me choke. She basically said "Shut the fuck up or I'll shove a sunbeam up your ass!" in a polite way...

"OK...I'll try..." I said nervously as I looked up to her.

"Good... Now maybe we could discuss other important matters..." She said , her eyes softening.

"Like?"

"Like How you got here perhaps? Or where you'll be staying as well as citizenship and future employment to name a few things..." Celestia listed.

"Right... My future..." I said as my joy faded. We realized that we'd been standing up for a while, so Celestia layed on the edge of her bed while I pulled up a random fancy chair.

"Now for the matter of how you got here..." She said as she looked into my eyes. I gulped nervously.

"Do you remember ANYTHING that happened before awakening here?..." She asked, her eyes not leaving mine. I thought for a moment before answering.

" I remember leaving my place, going somewhere I wouldn't usually...then it all just goes blank..." I said truthfully.

"Hmm....that.. complicates things..." She said as her face fell.

"We can't even begin to figure out how to send you back if you can't even remember what caused your arrival in the first place..." She said with a shake of her head, well I guess going back is a dead idea for now... I didn't mind too much... Nobody back home would be worried and I wasn't dating anyone at the time, so this was just a vacation in magic hell for me, although I might lose my job...eh I have money saved if that happens.

"Alright then... I guess I'm staying for a while..." I muttered in disappointment.

"Which brings me to my next point..." She said as a large scroll and quill appeared in between us, ugh... PAPERWORK? Dammit...

"The Equestrian foreign policy only allows up to 5 days to visitors before they must either leave or become a citizen..." She explained. Danm only 5 days? That's super short... I think you can stay for a few weeks back home, or something... Suddenly I felt the golden bud kick in again.

"You wouldn't kick ol DJ out for staying to long would you?" I said as I gave her a lustful stare and wink, Marking the first time I've ever flirted with a pony.

Celestia just stared at me, unfazed at my attempt to be "sexy" she raised her eyebrow.
"No exceptions... In 4 days you will either be a citizen of equestria or be kicked out..." She said sternly, well shit! I guess that doesn't work on her, I don't think anything can faze her when she's serious.

" Why is the visiting time so short anyway? " I ask curiously.

"Not many visit Equestria, because they either end up loving it here and staying anyway, or they just come here to become a citizen in the first place.." Celestia said, looking somewhat proud of herself.

Well let me think... I don't see why not... Besides its not like I'll be sent back anytime soon, because I don't remember anything, also I'll be too lazy to sign up in 4 days anyway...

"Alright..." I said as I leaned forward in my chair and scooted close to her.

"Where do I sign?"

...

After a few minutes of signing paperwork (which I honestly never bothered to read because meh) we eventually got to the part where I'm supposed to say an oath. We both stood up for this.

"Repeat after me..." Celestia said as she cleared her throat.

"I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign princess, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of Equestria and that I will love and tolerate." She and I said, line by line, I kinda snickered at the last one.

"Splendid! looks like you are now one of my loyal subjects! Congratulations!" She said with a smile as she closed the equestrian citizenship book.

"Wait that's it?" I said, as my eyes widened. If it's that danm easy then can see why everyone signs up!

"Yes we are indeed finished!" She said triumphantly. I kinda just chuckled before realization hit me like a wrecking ball. I am now a citizen of Equestria... That means I have to follow equestrian rules... And... I was now one of Celestia and Luna's subjects, so I have to to whatever they say and yadda yadda yadda yadda FUCK!

"Well I guess all that's left now is your employment..." She said as she zapped the papers away somewhere to be processed.

"Any suggestions? I can't mooch off of you and Twilight forever..." I said bluntly, making her snicker.

"Well I simply suggest asking Twilight and her friends, I'm sure they could help you find suitable employment if you plan to stay in ponyville..." Huh... I figured she'd say something like that.

"However if you plan to stay in canterlot, I could accommodate you until you can sustain yourself, there are plenty of jobs in the city as well as some jobs here. If you need something to do then just ask my sister and I we can give you something..." She said kindly. Not sure how I feel about that... I don't like people helping me too much...

"Thanks...I have to think about it..." I said with a shrug, Celestia just nodded.

After that we kinda just sat there silently, so I decided to start screwing with my magic again. I started practicing levitating some books around when I got hungry.
"Man it'd be great to have a fresh morning muffin..." I said to myself, Celestia perked up at that.

"I could have one of the guards bring..." She trailed off when she looked over to me. One of the books I was levitating suddenly flashed blindingly. The suprise and shock of the moment made me jump and my chair flew back with a loud *WHAM*.

Celestia giggled at first before a sudden gasp left her lips. I got up and set my chair upright again only to see the books I was levitating on the floor along with a glowing, warm, Coffee cake muffin (my favorite) on the resting on the floor.

My mind.....

Is.....

OFFICIALY......FUCKING.....BLOWN!!!

"I...I...can....turn....books...into....muffins..." I stuttered as I Picked said muffin up. It really was fresh, and it smelled glorious... And I was kinda hungry...

So I took a huge bite of it and my mouth watered from the epicness of coffee cake. Celestia just sat there completely speechless, with amazement, horror, and concern written all over her face.

Danm... I can't believe I just did that! That defied so many laws... You know what? If I was going to keep my sanity while I'm here, I'm going to have to accept all the magical nonsense. So I decided to experiment a little more.

I grabbed another book and tried to see if I could replicate the same thing, and with another flash I had another muffin. Now let me see if I can reverse it... yep! That could be useful. Then I tried something crazy... Could I make something pop out of thin air?

Check....

I looked over to Celestia to see her reaction to this...

>>>

Impossible... Simply impossible... That is the only way to describe what Derrick just did... How could he achieve such a powerful spell with such little experience? It took me YEARS to perfect that spell... Years of trial and error... And he just does it effortlessly? Impossible... I fear that some other mysterious force is at work here... I fear that there is some other strange magic inside Derrick... Perhaps my magic... Our contact... just simply awakened it? I must find out... If it is what I think it is then my kingdom could be in grave danger...

>>>

"Uh Princess? You're looking a little pale... Well you're already white... Uh... never mind... What's wrong?" I said. She was staring blankly at the pile of books.

She quickly snapped back into reality and gave a weak smile.

"That was truly amazing Derrick!" I kinda just smiled at the praise until she frowned. "However I am not fond of the idea of you consuming my books..." Celestia said glaring at me.

A sheepish grin crossed my face and i quickly put the rest of the books back on the dresser where I found them. "Uh sorry?..." I managed as Celestia looked troubled

"Derrick you simply cannot run around turning things into muffins! You might scare somepony!" Celestia scolded.

"Until we can find out more about what exactly changed in you, I want you to refrain from using ANY type of magic without my permission..." She said, staring fear and authority into my eyes.

"Uh... yes... your Highness...." I said nervously, this honestly sucks, I wanted to see what else I could conjure up...

"Now I believe we are done here, I have important matters to attend to, until our lunch..." She stated, getting off her bed.

"Speaking of important matters..." I said as I stood up and returned the chair.

"That appointment..." she answered for me.

"Right... Let's go get Mac and Twilight..." I said, walking to the door. I waited for Celestia to get close before I opened the door for her.

"Thank you!" She said, accepting my kind gesture.

"This is a heavy ass door..." I said, making her giggle, I followed her out of her room. When I closed the door behind us, The guards outside were staring at us suspiciously. It was then that I noticed that the guards outside were now different. They didn't look like bat vampire ponies, they were regular ponies wearing golden armor and slippers, kinda like Celestia's.

"Hey where did that bat pony go?" I asked, darting my head around.

"Oh the night guard's shift ended a few minutes ago, this is the day guard!" Celestia explained.

"So they're gone..." I said flatly.

"Yes...why do you ask?" She tilted her head slightly.

"Because that BITCH still has my pocket knife!" I said angrily. Celestia just cringed I guess she understood my outburst, because she wasn't mad at me.

"Well that's quite a predicament. I advise that you wait until tonight's shift, then perhaps you could find the guard that had it?" Celestia said nudging me reassuringly.

"Yeah I don't think I'm finding it anytime soon..." I said in defeat, half of those night guards looked the same to me... Maybe I can find that one guy... What was his name? Black dusk? Yeah that guy... I'll find him and ask if any of his guards have my knife.

The guards gave me peaceful morning greetings as we passed by, man the day guards are pretty friendly! Most night guards I met would either ignore me completely or they would stare daggers at me, Maybe Luna's guards are just pricks...

"Hey Princess?"

"Yes Derrick?"

"How come your guards aren't surprised to see me?" I asked, because none of them looked particularly scarred or amazed.

"The entire royal guard, as well as most of the castle staff and the hospital nurses has been informed that you are here..." She explained, makes sense I guess.

"However they were sworn to secrecy until I decide when and how I will inform the country as a whole..." She said with uncertainty.

"Yeah well I'm not sure how much that'll help when the entire town of Ponyville knows about me already..." I sad flatly. Celestia looked at me surprised until realization dawned.

"Pinkie parties..." We said at the same time.

"Well I guess I'll have to make an official statement soon..." Celestia said grumpily. After a few seconds she stopped walking and leaned in close.

"You will inform nopony of the incident that happened last night in the throne room, or of the magical powers you have gained from said incident, are we clear?" She said staring daggers into my eyes, a mere inch away from my face.

"Cr...crystal..." I stuttered nervously. She smiled and backed up, I let out a breath I was holding as she did. She can look scary if she wants too... I almost shit myself there.

"Splendid! Now let's get going!" She said as she trotted away, I hesitated before following.

After walking down some stairs we saw Twilight sparkle, cheerfully talking to this orange Pegasus guard. "Oh good morning Princess! we were just looking for you!" Twilight said cheerfully with a bow. "Good morning Princess Celestia..." The guard said as he bowed. Danm I'm a citizen now! That means I'm going to have to start bowing to her too...

"Good morning to you aswell! you're just the guard I was looking for!" She said perking up at the sight of the Orange pony. The guard had on a completely dumbfounded expression.

"Me?" He said not believing his ears.

"Yes of course! You're one of my most trust worthy guards! I need you to do something for me!" She said kindly. His expression at that point kinda went neutral, I guess he expected to get a lame job like mopping Celestia's floor or something.

She gestured for him to come closer and she started whispering something into his ear, I didn't care what it was personally so I just tapped Twilight.

"Who's that guy"? I asked

"That's Flash Sentry! He's one of Celestia's royal guards, and he's also one of my closest friends! " she said quiet enough so that they couldn't hear. I guess he looked like a decent guy, he listened to Celestia with a serious expression and he stood alert. Hmm I wonder what she's telling him....

"So did you sleep well?" Twilight asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah some stuff went down when I woke up...literally..." I said with a shrug.

"What happened?" She asked curiously.

"Well...."

>>>

I can't believe the Princess is personally asking ME to do something for her! I can't let her down! I won't fail! I thought as the Princess cleared her throat.

"Flash sentry... I need you to take Twilight and her friends to the detoxification facility..." She said calmly.

"No problem... Wait what?" I whispered, caught off guard by her request.

"Big Macintosh and Derrick currently have Golden Bud cider in their systems that they need removed." She explained. Big Mac? He's a pretty cool guy... We hang out every once and a while, but I haven't seen him in a while, so that'll be nice.

"Oh that sounds simple..." I said with a confident smile.

"But as you and the rest of the guard have been briefed, my tall friend here is indeed human..." She added. Wow... I didn't really believe the captain when he told us, I thought it was just somepony with an amazing costume or illusion! I managed to keep a straight face and just nodded as she continued.

The Princess leaned in closer for the next part, making me a little nervous. "What I am about to tell you is CLASSIFIED, do not tell anypony!" She stated strictly.

"Yes I understand..." I said, keeping my composure. Holy buck! She's telling ME classified information!

"Recently he has acquired a disturbing magic that I need identified, so during his procedure please have his magic tested please..." She requested.

"I suppose you must give the nurse a brief description as well, but ONLY her..." She added.

" I should be there in time for you to hoof me the results of the magic test, they are for his and my eyes only... " she said as she glanced at the human. Wow...this is really strange... I wonder what kind of magic she thinks he has! If she wants the results kept so secret it could be bad... Despite all the secracy this should be a simple task anyway...

" I must also remind you to try and take a path where you will be seen by as few ponies as possible, I haven't given an official statement about Derrick yet, but the hospital staff have been notified already..." She added.

"Do you understand your assignment? I'm trusting you with important information... " she asked, louder this time as she stepped back...

>>>

"And then I became a citizen of Equestria..." I said as I recalled all the events that happened this morning.

"Wow that's wonderful! I'll have to ask my friends about possible employment though..." Twilight said, making a mentel note.

"Of course Princess! I'll get it done!" Flash said in a noble tone, as he saluted the Princess.

"Splendid! I will meet up with you later my little ponies, I have important matters to attend to..." Celestia said with a quick wave and a smile, before she swiftly walked away. I guess she'll meet us at the detox facility? Because I will be dammed if I have to search this fucking labyrinth of a castle, well let's just say our lunch would be canceled due to laziness...

"Alright everypony! The Princess wants me to escort you to the Detoxification Facility!" Flash announced to us. well I guess he's sticking around... I just hope this guy isn't anal about His job like Black dusk...

"OK! But first we have to go get Big Mac..." Twilight said.

"Why didn't he just come with you?" I asked raising my brow, that could have saved us the trouble of going back to the guest hall.

"Well I knocked on his door and it was locked, so I assumed he was still sleepy or maybe he didn't want to be bothered at the time..." Twilight said with a shrug, "So I decided to come and find you first... But I didn't know what room you were in, so I was on my way to ask Princess Celestia where you were when I saw Flash..." Twilight said with a smile, Flash seemed to perk up slightly at the mention of his name.

"OK whatever... Let's just go get Mac before he sleeps all day..." I said with a sigh, but I didn't move because I had no clue where anything was in this danm castle.

"Alright... The guest hall isn't too far from here..." Flash said as he started leading us to it.

When we got there something weird happened. As we walked up to the room Mac was staying in, the door suddenly swung open and Princess Luna came out of it looking exhausted.

"What fuck were you doing in there?" I blurted bluntly and she turned to me in suprise. Flash looked at me like I was crazy for talking to Luna like that and Twilight face hoofed, having seen me do this before.

Princess Luna deadpanned and looked at me.
"We were just telling Big Macintosh good morning before we go to sleep..." She said innocently.

"Wait...what do you mean before you go to sleep? It's like 10 in the morning!" I said, checking my watch.

"We are called the Princess of the night for a reason..." She said with a deadpan expression.

I kinda just sat there, the confusion must have been apprant on my face because Twilight chimed in.

"Princess Luna's royal duties mostly pertain to the night, because of this she is nocturnal..." She explained. Hmm sounds like I won't have to deal with her too much then... Good! because it looks like she's still salty about last night...

"We bid you all good morning, but we are afraid that we must leave you..." She said as she quickly Nuzzled Twilight and Flash (he blushed a little), then looked at me with a disdain and narrowed eyes.

"We have not forgotten last night's incident... we will be watching thee closely..." She said coldly, yeah well I'm still kinda mad at you for attempting to have me executed on impulse, so fuck you.

I said nothing as she continued to stare, Flash and Twilight looked nervous, especially Flash because he didn't know why Luna seemed to hate me.

Luna turned back to the ponies. And they bowed respectfully, Twilight was giving me this sideways glare, oh right I'm a citizen now... I have to bow to her, or I'll rot in prison.

I bowed halfheartedly, "I hope you sleep well Princess.." I said with a hint of poison. Luna however didn't pick up on it, she just smiled smugly and walked away. Before she was gone I quickly turned to the group.

"Let's just get this over with, I have lunch with Princess Celestia later you know!" I said looking annoyed. Luna seems to hear me because she slowed her pace for a few steps before it suddenly quickened as she rushed around a corner, is she mad? I don't give a shit...

Whenever Luna was gone, Flash immediately zipped up to me like an excited child.

"Whoa man she was totally pissed! What did you do?" He asked. Twilight was behind him vigorously shaking her head in a "Don't say shit" gesture.

"I...uh...spilled a drink on her?" I lied, yeah he's totally going to believe that crok of shi...

"Jeez that sucks to be you, I would hate to have a Princess mad at me! Especially if it's Princess Luna..." Flash said with a shudder, I wonder what he means?

"Why? What's so special about her?" I asked, she may have beat my ass but I probably just deserved it then, and I wouldn't let THAT happen again, I don't give a danm how important she is...

"Well... Princess Luna can enter ponies dreams.." He said, like I was supposed to know. Well that's the second pony that's said that, and he's not drunk so it must be true(hell I'm starting believe anything now?)! Then again... I don't remember seeing Luna in my dream...now that I think about it...I don't remember what I dreamed at all... Maybe she was there and she made me forgot the whole thing?

"So what she can enter my dream? My mind is in charge of what happens in my dreams!" I said with a scoff.

"Well that's the thing... When Princess Luna enters your dream, she is completely in control! She can control your dreams and even your Nightmares!" Flash explained.

"Oh..." I said as my eyes widened, thanks Flash! I will now sleep in fear tonight, if I even manage too....

A moment later Mac finally decided to step out of his room. he walked out swiftly and closed the door with a yawn.

"Mornin everypony..." He said with a weak smile.

"Sup" I said.

"Good morning" Twilight said cheerfully.

"Hey! Long time no see Mac!" Flash said, ah I see dudes call him Mac while the mares call him BIG Mac.... heh...

"What took you so long?" I asked immediately.

Mac just rubbed the back of his neck. "Well ah woke up kinda sore... then somepony left me a fancy breakfast, some bits and a friendly...uh letter..." Mac said, shuddering at the last part.

"What did it say?" I asked. He walked back into the room real quick to get it. Twilight and I were snickering, glancing at each other knowingly, we both knew Luna wasn't just "Saying good morning". Flash just smirked, " Heh... sounds like Mac has a special somepony! I wonder who it is...." He said with a nod, Twilight and I just glanced at each other again, he seriously doesn't know?

Mac came back out with the letter in his mouth, he dropped it into my hands and i read it aloud.

"Dear Mackiepoo...

We hope you have a wondrous day! We wish you the greatest luck with thy procedure and we hope to see you later tonight! Perhaps in our.... private chambers? We would love to hear about thy day over a cup of tea!

Sincerely, your royal lover, The Princess of the night!" I read. Heh... Somepony indeed...

When I finished everyone exchanged looks, Twilight looked amused while Flash looked completely surprised, I somehow managed to hold a simple smile on my face, as Mac glared at us.

"Mackiepoo?" Twilight said, snickering behind her hoof.

"No....bucking.... Way...." Flash stuttered as his eyes turned into pinpricks... I'm not sure how many ponies actually know about this, so I guess this blew his mind.

"Mac's special somepony... Is PRINCESS LUNA!?!" Flash said loudly in shock.

"Eeyup....Nnope....ah don't know... It's complicated...." Mac said with a sigh.

"Wow...just wow...to be honest I'm a little jealous... You totally lucked out man! you are going out with one of the hottest mares in Equestria!" Flash said with a nod of respect.

Twilight rolled her eyes at that point, I guess she didn't like it when the boys talked about mare's plots. Eventually I decided it was enough and I cleared my throat.

"Let's just go to the danm detox place already! I have shit to do later..." I said with a frown. "Right...of course... Let's go..." Flash said as his noble guard side came back. OK so I realized something... This castle is like a maze... We took so many turns, went through so many doors, passed so many guards that it all just blurred together. I ended up just blindly following Flash and the others, as they talked among themselves in front of me about... Nightmare Night? Eh I don't give a shit...

Eventually we were in the fancy brick Canterlot streets, where I noticed there weren't as many ponies walking about as in Ponyville. Thank god for that, because all the surprised faces and gaspes I usually get were annoying and don't get me started on the lustful gases and blown kisses I would get from the mares, just things about it makes me shiver!

I noticed that ponies around here wore clothes, because I saw some ponies with what I assumed were business suits (and they looked ridiculous) so I guess the community here is really different. Luckily because of the path we took, nobody could see me.

It didn't take long to get to the hospital because it was only like 2 blocks away from the castle. When we got inside everyone stared at me, nurses stopped what they were doing to watch us walk by. Celestia said she alerted the medical staff of my existence but I guess it was still shocking to actually see me.

Ugh... I swear I'm going to find a way to blend in somehow, because I Hate all this attention! Hmmm... maybe magic can do something about this? A cloaking spell? Is that even a thing? Naa I'll think of something later. Besides... Celestia doesn't want me using magic anyways...

"Good morning everypony! I am nurse Tenderheart! Princess Celestia told me you would be coming here with your....tall friend. Please follow me to the Detoxification Facility..." Said a white pony with pink hair and a red cross with hearts around it as a cutie mark.

"Let's go everypony!" Twilight said, she waved and we followed the nurse through some doors. While we were walking, Twilight and the nurse were talking happily, my gosh... this girl is friends with EVERYONE.

"So how is my sister in Ponyville doing?" Tenderheart asked.

"Oh nurse Redheart? She's doing fine! She does miss you though, she said you don't write her enough..." Twilight said looking a little downcast.

"Oh I do try to, but its extremely busy around here, and its rare that I get a moment to relax, let alone write a letter. But please tell her that I miss her too!". "OK I will!" Twilight said with a gentle nod.

We finally got to a set of double doors that said "Detoxification" and we walked through. There were a couple ponies in the waiting area already, I noticed that there wasn't a single girl there, wow... I guess only dudes are stupid enough to drink golden bud. They slouched and drooled in their chairs like their brains were half melted, it looked like they all had it worse then Mac and I.

I guess because the Princess sent us here we didn't have to wait in the lobby, because Tenderheart just took us straight into one of the detox rooms. The room had a bed with this strange device attached to it...now if I wasent half drunk I would have marveled at the thing, but unfortunately all I could see on the danm thing was this motherfucking needle sticking out of a tube on it.

"Ok who would like to go first?" Tenderheart asked as she turned to Mac and I. We just stared at her silently.
She got an impatient look, "I'm going to pick one of you if you don't volunteer..." She said, tapping her hoof impatiently, we still said nothing, instead we both just stared at the needle on the device.

"OK you first sir..." She said eventually, as she pointed at me...

Shit...

I hopped onto the bed nervously (which was hilariously undersized), and stared at the needle. It was a thin but long one that shined brightly, curse my stupid fear of pointy things, don't be a little bitch Derrick! Especially in front of them! Suck it up!

"Now honestly.... I'm not really sure where to stick this... It's supposed to go in your foreleg... " the nurse said as she handled the needle and stared at my body with great uncertainty. I pulled up my left sleeve and pointed to my inner elbow, where IV's and stuff like that usually go.

"Pretty sure it's here..." I muttered, staring at the needle I gulped, let's hope she doesn't miss! The nurse disinfected the area with a wipe and I took a deep breath as she aimed for my vein.

"What's your name?" Tenderheart suddenly asked.

"Uh...just call me DJ..." I answered.

"You seem a bit nervous DJ..." She said with a giggle

"No shit..."

"Do you like muffins?" she asked as she smiled warmly.

"Yeah I like muff....ahhh!" I was interrupted by a needle being jammed deep into my arm, that sly bitch distracted me...

"God dammit..." I whispered as the nurse switched the machine on and I instantly felt light headed. "Don't worry hon you're going to be just fine... I'll go fetch you a muffin while the machine does it's job..." The nurse said kindly as she walked to the door.

"Hold on nurse..." Flash said as he walked up to her and whispered something in her ear, she looked confused for a moment before nodding, "I'll be right back..." She said as she left with a smile.

Twilight started to giggle at me as well as Mac.

"What? I'm afraid of pointy things..." I said lazily.

"Oh its not that..." Twilight said shaking her head.

"Then what?"

"You look high as buck right now man..." Flash said bluntly and they busted out into laughter.

"No...I'm...not....high! I'm....just....low..." I said slowly, prompting more laughter, as I felt really tired and dizzy, this machine was really draining me!

A few moments later nurse Tenderheart walked in again but this time she carried a basket with a clear orb inside it.

"What's....that..." I muttered quietly as I fought drowsiness.

"It's a magic orb, I need you to channel some of your magic into it so we can test it's properties..." She explained. I then looked at her like she was crazy but flash raised his hoof.

"Princess's orders..." He said as he gestured to the orb. I sighed in annoyance, and flopped my arm into the basket and felt around until I had the orb in my hand. I focused on it for a moment until i felt a tiny amount of my magic fill the orb.

"Thanks! I should have the results shortly, but in the mean time I should get your friend on the detox machine next..." Tenderheart said as she Gestured to Mac who gulped nervously. So she removed the needle from my arm, cleaned the wound and got the machine ready for Mac by quickly disposing and replacing the needle.

So that was it! it was finally over! ...I felt...drained... And tired, but Tenderheart assured me that was just temporary and that I would feel fine in a few minutes, so I just sat in the chair next to Twilight. Now that I could think clearly I decided to ask Twilight something.

"Twilight... You know a lot about magic and stuff right?"

"Yes! Was there something you wanted to know?" She said, perking up at the chance to flex her brain.

"Is it hard too... Transform objects into something else?" I asked curiously, Celestia reacted oddly when I turned her book into a muffin, then again who wouldn't react oddly to that?

Twilight thought for a second before answering, "Yes... that is a very advanced spell... It takes a while for unicorn's to master something like that, in fact even I can't do it right yet!" She admitted.

"You would also require a large amount of magic to do it....unless..." She paused looking uncertain.

"Unless what?" I asked.

"Unless that pony happened to have Chaos magic..." She answered with a shrug.

"Chaos magic?"

"Yes it's one of the most powerful and saught after magics in Equestria! A pony could easily transform, and conjure up things with it... Even themselves..." Twilight explained. Before I could say something she added, "But it's REALLY rare... In fact... There hasn't been any chaos magic in Equestria in at least 2000 years..." She added.

Hmm... Considering the description she gave, me that sounds a lot like what I have... But she said it was rare! I got this magic from Celestia, and as far as I know she doesn't have chaos magic. But the way I transformed that book...it was so easy and natural... And I didn't even have magic for 24 hours so I was definitely not an experienced magic user... This all seemed strange... Celestia is even having my magic tested RIGHT NOW, so it could be possible....somehow

I decided to try something to confirm my suspicions, but not here right in front of them all.

"Hey where's the uh... bathroom?" I asked to nobody in particular.

"Take a left over there..." The nurse said as she hooked the non willing red stallion to the machine (Twilight had to force him on with her magic). She gestured to a short hallway on the far side of the room where I quickly stumbled to. I found a door and I rushed into it quickly and closed it, I was now alone.

Now Celestia may have told me to refrain from using my magic, but I HAD to see if this was true. OK.... so Twilight said That chaos magic could transform objects, and the users could also do it to themselves, so my plan was simple: if I could transform into something then I have chaos magic. Now I just had to figure out what... Hmm maybe I could fix that earlier problem... With those danm ponies staring at me on the streets... Maybe if I... No...that's crazy! Well...it can't hurt...

I looked in the mirror and concentrated on myself, getting a mental image of what I was going to turn into, then in a flash of magic I changed. When I opened my eyes again I was different...

I was now a pony.

I decided that if I was going to change I may aswell do this because it could come in handy for blending in and it was the only thing I could think of at the time. I also decided to be a Pegasus because I thought it would be cool to conquer my fears and fly around. My pony version wasn't very colorful, infact it only had 3 colors, Black White and my Golden eyes, hmm... Maybe I should spice it up? I concentrated and made colorful stripes appear on my mane. eww...OK I looked way better before....

I sat there looking at myself, the golden eyes thing is weird... hmmm... can't seem to change it, maybe I can't because my eyes glow when I use magic? Before I could finish that thought I flashed again and turned back into a human...what the fuck? Is this timed? Seems like it is... It won't be very useful if I can only do it for a minute... Maybe if I use more power it will last longer? So I tried again, but this time I used a shit load more power so I wouldn't transform back after a minute.

After a second successful transformation I thought I should probably practice walking around... so I started practicing walking in circles to make sure I could really fit in with the crowd, hopefully I wouldn't trip or anything. I should probably practice flying or something later when I find an open area.

I examined myself some more I kinda like pony me... Despite my hate for ponies in general, I could get used to this! Think of all the pranks I could pull in this disguise! I should probably come up with a name or something for it...

Suddenly I felt a familiar power that I dreaded, and unfortunately it wasn't long before I heard a certain ponies voice in the room, it was PRINCESS CELESTIA.

Son of a Bitch...

Shit! I can't cut the spell off right now! I used WAY too much power on it! They can't see me like this! They'll totally freak out! Then Celestia will be pissed at me for using my magic, and because I'm a citizen now she can kinda punish me like one now... What do I do??? I have to come out eventually! I can already hear them saying I've been in here for a while... You know what?

Fuck this...

I noticed the bathroom had a window and I quickly pried it open and hopped out of it..... Which I regret immediately because I've only had wings for 2 minutes....

*thud*

"Ow..."

I quickly stood up after that and looked around, thankfully nobody saw me jump out of a 2nd story hospital window so it seems like I was still unnoticed right now. I glanced up at the open window and I jumped in suprise, Celestia and Twilight were staring at me through it.

Twilight's mind was completely and utterly fucked and her face showed it, while Celestia looked surprised and confused too.

"Derrick?" Celestia said raising a brow, holy fucking shit...

She knows! And she looks fucking PISSED!

I didn't dwindel on the fact that the Princess may or may not have seen through my disguise, I was already 2 blocks away before I felt Celestia's power suddenly surge up.

IM SO FUCKING DEAD!

>>>

I sighed as another stack of papers and scrolls was plopped onto my desk.

"More guard reports sir.." A young private said as he saluted me. This pony was shaking from anxiety but he somehow held himself at attention, was he scared of me?

"At ease private..." I said, the private let out a breath and almost slumped to the floor, he looked exhausted.

"You're a mess Private Dawn... how much sleep did you get last night?" I asked.

"I didn't even sleep last night..." The private said looking down in shame, this pony does some serious overtime! He needs a break.

"Listen private... Take the day off... You won't be much use to the guard if you're in danger of collapsing from exhaustion..." I said with a grin.

"Thank you... Captain..." He said with a weak smile.

"Skip the formalities Dawn... You're off duty now... Just call me Shining armor... I won't bite you.." I said with a chuckle.

"Of course Captain... Er I mean sir...uh Shining.." He stuttered as he took his helmet off and almost dropped it.

"Go get some sleep Dawn..." I said, shaking my head.

"OK armor... shining..... sir..." He said as he moved toward the door, stumbling slightly.

"And lay off the coffee! It can't replace real sleep!" I reminded as he closed my door.
I chuckled in my chair as I had a flashback, I used to be just like him when I joined the guard. My warm smile from good memories faded as I looked back at the stack of paperwork.

I let out an annoyed sigh as I got to work on it, sifting through reports of the days events. Unfortunately nothing major ever happened around here because Equestria was currently in a state of everlasting peace. Now don't get me wrong... I don't want a war to suddenly break out or something... But for Celestia's sake this is SO boring!

Apprantly being a captain ment dealing with stacks of paperwork, which sucks because when I was initially promoted I thought my life as a guard was going to be exciting but now I just "lead" the guard and handle complaints, sift through reports drink government funded coffee and sit in this office.

Now I could order some of my subordinates to do this for me but that would kind of be like running out on the job, and that's a fat No from me! Now I know what it feels like... Princess Celestia has to deal with 4x times the paperwork as me and she has to make nice with snooty politicians and crazy ambassadors... Let's just say... Last time the dragons came, they almost burned the castle down.... Yeah... A dark day indeed. Don't even get me started about the GRIFFINS... We didn't have meals prepared for carnivores, so somepony almost got eaten...

Needless to say I was aching for excitement right now, as if my wish was granted a knock came at my door, now that could have been any pony, but the power I was sensing told me otherwise, It could only be one of the Alicorn sisters. I assumed it was Celestia because Luna would be sleeping at this time.

I cleared my throat and straightened up in my chair.

"Come in..." I said. The door opened to reveal Princess Luna, guess I was wrong...

"Captain Armor? May we ask a favor of thee?" She said as she quickly rushed in my office and shut the door behind her. She looks really tired... Why is she even still up?

I got out of my chair and approached her slowly, she looked like she might pass out so I didn't plan to let her fall.

"Anything for you your Highness, What do you need?" I said with a salute.

"Sit down while we explain to thee..." She as she sat on one of the coaches in my office, I sat back in my chair with a shrug.

"What's going on?" I asked with concern.

Luna took a big breath and blurted suddenly, " OUR TIA IS HAVING LUNCH WITH SOMEPONY " she blurted loudly making my mane messy, she covered her mouth looking embarrassed about her outburst. OK... the Princess is having lunch with someone... She does it all the time with the politicians, it's hardly an exciting subject nore does it have anything to do with me...

"I'm sorry Princess but I don't see the problem..." I said carefully, Luna could get made quite easily.

"The PROBLEM is the pony going with her..." She said, looking abit agitated.

I leaned forward in my chair and sighed, looks like it was going to be boring after all...

"Alright who is it?" I asked with a yawn.

"They art not a pony, but a HUMAN!" She said as her eye twitched.

My eyes widened and I sat up straight in my chair. A Human? The same one I briefed the guard about? The one that arrived out of nowhere yesterday? Derrick... I haven't gotten the chance to meet him yet but I plan to after work. Some of the guards say he's almost as tall as Celestia, but I'll believe it when I see it... All the female guards said he was cute also... Which was irrelevant...

The worry in my face faded as I relaxed in my chair. it's just like the lunches she had with the various ambassadors, "Well that is an interesting guy to dine with, but I still don't see the problem... I haven't gotten any reports of him causing any trouble..." I said calmly.

Luna's eye twitched again a few times before she lowered her head.

"The human has desecrated our big sisters horn..." She muttered, I shot up in my chair immediately.

"WHAT!!!" I yelled in outrage, who does he think he is?

"I'll get the execution squad ready..." I said as I immediately began writing a letter, nopony has been executed in over 3000 years so I guess I need to actually MAKE an execution squad...

"Nay... The human was under the influence of Golden Bud Cider, That accident has been forgiven..." Luna said with a deadpan expression. I promptly crushed the paper and tossed it into a nearby trashcan. Now that was a HUGE deal around here, you don't just touch ponies horns unless you're in a serious relationship, but if the guy was under Golden Bud's influence then I could understand it happening, especially sense He's not from around here.

"Well then...I still fail to see the problem here..." I stated again, Luna sighed in frustration.

"The Human's contact with our sister has gifted him with magical powers..." She explained, OK this is officially interesting now...

"Her magic has changed him... It is a powerful and strange magic that we don't recognize, we fear that even our powerful sister could be in Danger..." She said.

"So you want me to stop the lunch from happening?" I interrupted, thinking I had a clear understanding.

"Nay. We simply request that thee keep an eye on Our sister for us. What thou decided to do from there is up to thee, we are simply to exhausted to do it ourself.

" So let me get this straight... You want me to spy on Princess Celestia And the human?" I said as I stood up slowly with a raised brow, Luna nodded. Should I do this? If I'm caught... Princess Celestia would be FURIOUS! But if this Derrick is actually a threat to the Princess then I would be right there to swoop in and kick tail, I guess it couldn't hurt to be there just in case... this may not be the exciting call to action I expected but it was certainly better then signing and stamping papers.

"Alright I'll do it..." I sad with a shrug.

"HUZZAH!!! WE THANK THEE!" She yelled cheerfully as she crushed me with a hug, so this is what it feels like? Poor Macintosh...

"Now we can sleep in peace!" She said with a smile as she let go of me, I dropped to the floor gasping for air.

"Oh and we forgot to mention... We art not certain of when the lunch actually begins, but The human is currently being treated for golden bud at the canterlot hospital, and Thy little sister, Twilight sparkle is there along with Big Macintosh and Flash sentry. " she said as she left the room.

Flash sentry? With MY little TWILY? Now I'm definitely obligated to go there. Flash is a good friend and a outstanding guard besides occasional slip ups, but I just can't stand seeing him with my little Twily! Now I have two pairs to watch...

I looked back at the papers and sighed, looks like some poor pony is going to do the captain's paperwork today after all...

Author's Notes:

Notes: danm... I outdid myself... 10,000+ words? Another record is smashed! Yay? Well unfortunately it took a week or longer...so I'm not sure if I'm going to keep making them so long...

Anyway a lot of important things happened... 2 new stallions were brought into the story, DJ is officially citizen if Equestria, he can turn into a pony and he may or may not have CHAOS magic.... I won't explain much on that except for this: Discord uses Chaos magic.... I'll let that sink in! Don't ask... All will be explained later... :3

I'm not sure where I should end act one... Perhaps this is a good place? Eh maybe I don't know... I just don't want to get to act 1 part 10 or something... It just doesn't sound right...

I am also well aware that Nurse Tenderheart and nurse redheart are kinda the same pony, but I thought it would be neat to do the nurse joy thing and make them twin sisters! (I think that's how it worked in Pokemon... I don't remember) yeah so there's that!

Not sure what else to say... Uh... Check my blog on fimfiction for any progress and what not and I apologize for any errors because thus chapter is HUGE so I'm sure there's alot.

PS: I haven't forgotten about my other fic... I'm just having too much fun writing this one right now... But I am kinda working on the next chapter of that! ( I have a few pages)