3 part 2: A Looong Day

So... What exactly happened last night? I barely remember yesterday... I drank... Then I partied.... Then I... Huh... I can't remember.... I got pretty hammered yesterday, I'm surprised I don't have a headache...aaaaaaaand there it is... Ow... Why do I keep doing this to myself? I mean... for fuck's sake I'm on Twilight's fucking balcony for crying out loud! Only God knows the crazy shit I did while I was drunk. I tend to say and do things that I should probably keep to myself. The worst part is, I feel like i did something REALLY BAD yesterday... But I can't remember what. Eh, it'll come back to me sooner or later.

Well, it's still early... Let me move the couch back downstairs before Twilight flips a shit. I tried to lift it with magic, but I couldn't focus enough, so it ended up falling to the floor again. Dang it, I can't move things with this headache! Great. Well, I guess this couch is staying up here... Wait; I can probably just carry the danm thing down. Hopefully I can still change forms even with this massive headache. Yep. I'm pretty sure I normally wouldn't have been able to move this couch but coming to Equestria has made my body stronger for some reason, so I was able to carry it back to it's original spot.

I changed back into a unicorn and hopped back onto the couch. I should probably use that money Celestia gave me to buy a bed... Maybe I'll find a shop around here later this week if I'm bored, I'll add it to my "I'm lazy, not now list". Speaking of later, I was thinking about taking a little trip in my Pegasus form, not really anywhere in particular, just a little joy flight. I couldn't go my full speed earlier with Spike clinging onto my back, otherwise he would have fallen, and they would have to scrape his scaled remains off the floor. I'm curious how fast I can REALLY go, so I'll probably explore around and let lose, it feels great to fly! But for now I'm not moving a muscle until this fucking headache of mine is gone. Some peace and quiet should help it go away. Yep... just take a little nap and you'll be-"Good morning! " Twilight said excitedly as she walked downstairs. Fuck. So much for quiet.

"Did you sleep well? You were acting a bit... strange yesterday..." She said with a nervous smile. "I slept OK, but I have a headache.... Wait. How strange?" I said raising my brow. "Well first of all you hospitalized Vinyl Scratch..." Twilight said. "WHAT!?! The DJ pony? How the hell did I do that?" I yelled."You shot a Laser that ricocheted off a mirror and hit her horn... " Twilight said with a deadpan expression. No no no! Fuck! I didn't realize I was that wasted! "If you have time today I would visit her in the hospital, she's fine from what I hear but it'll take a while to heal." Twilight suggested. Well shit... Change of plans. "You also kissed Rarity on the cheek and she fainted..." Twilight said with amusement. "Oh, fuck my life..." I said bringing my hoof to my face. Now I have no clue what possesed me to do something like that... Well at least I didn't straight up make out with her right? "Then you hugged my glass table so hard that it shattered." Twilight said with little amusement. "That reminds me; I have to heal that cut you got from the table. I was way too tired to do it yesterday..." Twilight said as she grabbed my left foreleg.
"Huh?" Twilight said in confusion, as her eyes darted around my leg. "What cut?" I said as she continued to look. "This is strange. There is no way it healed that fast... Somepony must have healed you, and it wasn't me...." Twilight said, completely perplexed. I wonder who it was? I don't really know anyone... Maybe Luna popped up at night again and healed me? Nah, she hates my fucking guts, why would she even visit me of all people anyway?

"Well regardless I can still do this..." Twilight said as she zapped my head. It started to hurt even more and my eyes crossed. "What the fuck, Twilight!" I yelled as I staggered back. "Sorry about that. It should make your headache go away faster." Twilight said with a nervous smile. "Thanks..." I muttered dryly, rubbing my temple. Just then, Spike came downstairs. "Morning, Twi..." He muttered with a yawn. Then he kinda frowned at me. Hmm... Something tells me he's salty about that thing with Rarity "Dude, I swear I didn't mean to...." I said innocently. "Yeah, whatever, jerk...." He said as he walked away into the kitchen. "Spike can get a little jealous sometimes. " Twilight said with a giggle. Yeah... a little....

Twilight and I followed Spike into the kitchen and sat down. Spike made his heavenly pancakes, and Twilight and I talked about what our plans for the day were. "I'm probably going to stay home until later. I have a costume to make." Twilight said. "Costume? That Nightmare Night crap is tonight, isn't it...." I said with a raised brow. "Yes, it is! It's going to be so fun! I wish you would join us..." Twilight said with a slight pout. "I probably won't because I have things to do." I said plainly." Really? Like what?" Twilight asked curiously. "I'm going to visit Vinyl in the hospital, then after that I might fly around or something..." I said with uncertainty. "That sounds good. I'd be careful if I were you; Rainbow Dash might be on the lookout for your 'double'." Twilight warned. "Eh, even if she finds me, I don't have to tell her who I really am..." I said with a scoff. "Suit yourself. She can be a bit... Pushy sometimes." Twilight said.

After that we ate badass pancakes in silence, and I was on my way. I think I've paid attention enough to know where things are around here, so hopefully I won't get lost. I guess I can always turn pegasus, and get a birds eye view of Ponyville if necessary. Now, let's see here.... The hospital was near the center of town so if I... Ugh, navigation is annoying.

After a few minutes, I ACTUALLY managed to find the damn thing I was looking for! The Ponyville Hospital. How do I describe it. Hmm, it looks like... I dunno.... A fucking hospital? I guess it's smaller than the one in Canterlot. Anyway, I walked up to the visitors desk. "I'm here to see Vinyl Scratch?" I said to the secretary pony. I'm probably going to have to go through all this bullshit just to see her since I'm not a family member. "Of course! She's in room 7!" The secretary said without even looking at me. OK... That was easy. Let's see room 4.... Room 5.... Room 6.... Here it is! Room 7. I wonder if she'll be pissed at me. I certainly would be if it were me. Some drunk dumbass was careless and shot me with lasers? I would kick their ass, then proceed to sue the fuck out of them.

I walked in slowly and carefully around the corner, and there she was, sitting on the bed looking a bit bored. She had a magazine on her hoof and her signature sunglasses were on a small table next to her. As far as injuries go I didn't notice any, except her horn was wrapped up with a bandage. "Vinyl?" I called out. She did a double take and almost jumped out of her bed. "Wah! Dawn? You scared the crap out of me dude..." She said as she relaxed again. "My bad..." I said with a chuckle as I walked closer. "So..." Vinyl said sheepishly. "Oh yeah... I swung by to tell you I'm sorry. I kinda had a little too much to drink last night... " I said as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Oh. It's OK dude. I... I didn't think you would actually come visit..." She said with a blush as she looked away. Great, I'm being sappy again... "So... How bad is it?" I asked, gesturing to her horn. "Oh... The doctor said I can go home, but horn injuries take a while to heal, so I won't be using any magic for a while. It usually takes a month depending on how bad it is." She said, looking a bit depressed. Dang it! This is all my fault. Now she's going to be magicless, all because I'm a drunk dumbass. "Dang... I'm really sorry about this..." I said looking down in shame. "Oh, its cool bro... The doc said it was scathing hit. It should only take a week tops." She said hopefully with a warm smile. That didn't help much... I still feel like an asshole.

Something I've noticed about myself, especially since coming here, is the fact that I feel super guilty for things. Unless your an asshole who deserves it, I can never forgive myself when people suffer because of my stupidity. I often end up doing shit I would never think of doing normally because of guilt, because I just can't take it! Whether that's a good or bad thing I don't know, but I'm certainly feeling it right now...

I sighed and cleared my throat. "Listen... If you need any help with anything... Just let me know..." I said with determination. "Oh I'll be fine bro. My friend from Canterlot's coming over to help me out until I heal. In fact, she should be here soon!" Vinyl said excitedly. "Really?" I ask as I hear hoof steps outside. "She's a musician from Canterlot." Vinyl said as the door behind me swung open. "Vinyl, dear! Are you alright?!" yelled a gray earthpony with dark grey hair, as she ignored me and rushed up to Vinyl and hugged her tightly. "Woah there, Tavi! Chill out!" Vinyl said with annoyance as she pushed her friend away. "It's just a minor horn injury. I'm still breathing." Vinyl said with a frown. "I'm sorry I overreacted, Vinyl, but your letter was quite vague on details so I assumed the worst." The pony said with a giggle. Then she finally noticed I was standing there and gasped.

"Vi... who is this? You didn't tell me you had a coltfriend..." The pony said with a smug grin as she nudged Vinyl. "HEY! He's not my coltfriend!" Vinyl yelled, looking flushed and embarrassed. "Then who are you?" The grey pony asked as she looked me in the eye. "Uh... I'm the guy who may or may not have... Done this to her.." I said with a nervous smile. The grey ponies eyes narrowed. Shit... I should have just went with "just a friend." "Get out..." She said coldy. "What?" I said as I took a nervous step backward. "Get. OUT!" She yelled as she threw a nearby book at me. Boy, am I sick of getting books thrown at me... "Uh.. see ya, Vinyl..." I said with a wave as I quickly backed out of the room.

...

"What?"

"Way to go Octavia... Chasing the hottie away..."

"B-but... He did this to you!"

"It was an accident, and I just forgave him for it."

"Oh... I didn't realize..."

"*sigh* Just hush and help me get my stuff."

...

Well that could have went better. That girl was pissed! But, she did have the right to be mad. Like Luna said when I first got this magic, I need to stop being careless with it. Anyway, I'm not really sure what I want to do today; that stupid celebration is tonight so everyone is out putting up Halloween...er... Nightmare Night shit. I find it really odd how much this holiday mirrors Halloween... Same thing with Hearth Warming and Christmas. I won't be suprised if they have their own pony version of Santa. It's all really strange... Like my world and theirs are the same or something... Ugh... I'm shaking just thinking about it!

Alright, I'm bored. Maybe I'll go on that joy flight now or something. Wait, what's going on over there? There are a bunch of people gathered around this weird trailer. Hmm... May as well check it out...

"Oh, Great and Powerful Trixie, can you show us one of your tricks?" Someone in the crowd asked. "No.. the Great and Powerful Trixie is feeling... a little tired. Begone!!" boomed a blue unicorn with white hair that had light blue stripes. She was wearing a wizard hat and what looked like a cape. Everypony I see with clothes on looks fucking ridiculous to me. "Oh come on... Please??" Asked these two kids in the front. The unicorn thought for a moment before rolling her eyes. "*sigh* Fine... The Great and Powerful Trixie can perform one small trick." The Unicorn said as she charged her magic. Huh... This chick speaks in third person? I wonder what she's about to do. Suddenly, all these flashy lights and sparks came from her horn like fireworks. It was neat I guess, but I'm pretty sure to people who are used to living with magic users it must not be that amazing.

Nope.

The crowd went fucking nuts and the unicorn bowed and retreated to her trailer. After that, I just watched as the crowd cleared out and those two kids were sitting there in amazement. I started to walk away, I guess the "show" is done. That show had me overwhelmed by meh. I'm probably gonna go fly somewhere now... Or not. Those two kids are walking over. To be honest they look kinda goofy, one of them is really short and fat and has buck teeth, and the other one is tall and skinny and he has these really big ears. "Hey, isn't that the new guy?" The small one said. "Yeah... Celestia's new student... He probably thinks he's so cool." The tall one said looking at me in disgust.

"Uh... I can hear you ya know..." I said to them, making them jump. "You may be Celestia's new student, but you'll never be as cool as the Great and Powerful Trixie!" The short one blurted before retreating behind the tall one. I deadpanned and looked at them "and I care, because?" I said blankly. "Trixie would totally beat you in a magic duel, because she saved a town from an Ursa Major!" The tall one said with a smug grin. I blinked a few times and laughed in their faces. These kids man... they honestly thing I have a flying fuck to give? Do I have to spell it out for them? "Look, I have better things to do..." I said as I walked away laughing.

...

"See, Snips! He laughed at us! He thinks he's so much better than Trixie!" Snails said with a shake of his head. "Yeah! He can't possibly be as good as someone who defeated an Ursa Major!" Snips said. Then Snails got a curious look. "I wonder how cool it must have been to see Trixie fighting that Ursa major..." He said as he rubbed his chin. "Yeah... It must have been super awesome..." Snips said with a look of disappointment. "Darn I wish we could have seen it...there's no way now..." Snails said. Then his eyes brightened up. "What is it Snails?" Snips asked curiously. "What if there was a way we could see Trixie fight an Ursa Major?" Snails said with a mischievous grin. "There is? How?" Snips asked excitedly. "What if we brought an Ursa Major here?" Snails said. "What? Bring one to Ponyville? Are you NUTS? Why the heck would we do that?" Snips said with a frown.

"Duh! So we get to see Trixie fight it!" Snails said with a shake of his head. Snips looked skeptical for a second, his mouth was an 'o' as he suddenly understood. "Dude... you're a genius! Let's do it!" Snips said as he jumped around excitedly. "Alright! To the Everfree Forest!" Snails said with determination. "Why would we go there Snails? That place is spooky..." Snips said with a look of worry. "*sigh* So we can lead the Ursa Major out!" Snails said in frustration. Snips facehoofed and shook his head "Oh yeah.... I forgot.." Snips said as he gulped nervously. The odd duo set off out of Ponyville toward the Everfree in search of one of the largest creatures in Equestria.

...

Man, it's like everyone is fucking outside today. I can't find a safe place to transform! I could do it real quick while some people aren't looking, but I'm not even going to risk it. Ugh... this is annoying! Maybe I should just tell everybody I can transform so I can do it freely in public... Nah, I'll keep looking. In my search for privacy, I noticed I was near that schoolhouse again. Maybe I can go behind that... Wait, what am I thinking? There'll be kids all over that shit! Wait a second... It looks like they're all out front or something, wait, no, they're leaving. I'm not risking getting discovered by kids. I'm going to keep looking... Hey wait, what's going on there?

I see... That looks like Applejack's little sister... What was her name... Uh, Applebloom? Yeah, that's it! I see her and... this orange Pegasus with purple hair... There's also this white Unicorn with purple and pink hair. Hmm... Something about that one reminds me of Rarity. Huh... That's weird... Anyway, they were all sitting there looking like their fucking puppy died...not once... But twice. Like...that shit died, came back to life, then died again a few moments later, that's how sad these damn kids looked. I wonder what's making them so sad?

Then I saw the cause of the problem. There was this pink pony with purple and white hair, wearing this small crown. She was standing over them looking down on them in disgust. Oh, I really know this scenerio waaaay to fucking well. They were being BULLIED! Just seeing it happen makes my fucking blood boil! I was bullied in middle school and it made me bitter and antisocial. I'm not going to stand for this shit, I'm shutting this down right now!

I took a few moments to calm down a little so I don't strangle someone, and I walked over there.

"I can't believe you three BLANK FLANKS wanted to come to MY party! Ha! How pathetic!" The bully said with a laugh as the three girls sighed sadly. "Hey!" I called out as I walked up angrily. The 3 girls gasped and perked up when they saw me and the bully raised her brow. "Who are YOU?" The bully said as she glared at me. "Whoa... That's Dawning Jade..." Applebloom said as her eyes widened. Huh? She knows me? The bully stuck her muzzle up in the air. "Hmph, he's just some nosey nopony!" The bully said looking at me unimpressed. "That's Princess Celestia's new student! My sister talks about him all the time!" The white one said. Then the orange one nodded "Yeah. Rainbow Dash won't shut up about this guy either..." She said with a giggle.

The bully seemed to look at me with newfound respect then she went back to that "I'm better than all of you" behavior. "OK, so he's not a nopony... But I bet he doesn't associate with you 3 blank flanks!" The girl said with a smug grin. That made the girls sad again for some reason. I wonder why? Then I remembered how Applebloom said that her and her friends were the only ones in her class that still didn't have their cutie marks. "Hey cut that out! Stop calling them that!" I said sternly. The bully smiled smugly. " What? I can't call them what they are? I'm only telling them the truth! I have a cutie mark you have a cutie mark....they DON'T... " the bully said harshly. Damn... This bitch has a serious mouth. Time to flip the table.

"So, what does your cutie mark even mean? I bet it's something lame..." I said with a chuckle. That made the 3 girls perk up a little as they watched. "What?! My cutie mark is not lame! See!" The bully said as angrily as she turned slightly so I could see it. It basically looked like a little crown or tiara. "Yep, like I said... lame..." I said with a yawn. The bully looked away in embarrassment as the 3 girls started laughing at her. "It ... it's not lame..." The bully stammered. "I bet that when they get their cutie marks they'll be way better than yours!" I teased as I pointed to the three girls. That made them beam with confidence. "Shut up, blank flanks!" The bully yelled making the 3 girls look sad again. Grrr... I've had enough of this little bitch. "Besides, what does your cutie mark even mean? Its just a black thunderbolt with some sparkles around it.... Ha! Lightning isn't black! That's stupid...." The bully said pointing to my cutie mark.

"The black thunderbolt represents the lightning I'm going to shove done your throat if you don't leave these girls alone!" I snapped as I powered up my magic. That made her yelp and she stepped away horrified. She bumped into a wall and her tiara fell off. "My tiara!" The bully said as she reached out for it. I looked her straight in the eye and crushed the thing with my hoof. "Oops... I'm sorry. Did you like that thing? How unfortunate..." I muttered coldly. The girl gasped and started to run away crying. She stopped and turned to me. "I'm gonna tell my Daddy on you!" She threatened as she ran away. Yeah, tell your daddy, bitch, so I can kick his ass for raising such a spoiled little brat.

I turned back to the kids and their jaws were on the floor. I couldn't read their expressions, but frankly I don't care anymore, because I made the bully fuck off already so I'm done here. So without a word, I continued walking, searching for a place to transform. That little girl really ticked me off, and I need to let off some steam.

...

I was cruising around the sky looking for some sweet clouds to nap on, when I spotted Scootaloo and her friends sitting in front of the school house talking about something excitedly. I wondered what it was, so I decided to drop in. I landed in front of them and walked over. "Sup, Scoots, Applebloom, Sweetie..." I greeted. They all smiled and spilled without me even asking them. "Oh my gosh, Rainbow Dash! You TOTALLY missed it!" Scootaloo said. "Yeah! It was so cool! That Dawning Jade guy is cool!" Sweetie Belle said. "Yeah! He made Diamond Tiara run off crying like a little foal!" Applebloom said. Hmm... That's the girl who always bullies them. I've had to chase her off a few times. "Dawn? What did he do?" I asked curiously. "Oh, he was awesome! He made fun of her cutie mark then he stepped on her Tiara!" Sweetie Belle said excitedly. "Yeah! Look, it's over there!" Applebloom said, pointing to the crushed tiara.

Sheesh... I think Dawn went a little overboard there. I don't think her Dad will be happy about that... Still though, I would have loved to have seen it happen. "It was so cool! Well... not as cool as you Rainbow Dash, but still kinda cool!" Scootaloo said. "It must have been... Hey where is he now?" I wondered. "He stormed out over there... He looked kinda grumpy." She answered. "Why do you ask?" Scootaloo wondered. "Oh no reason..." I said with a mischievous grin. "Ugh... I bet she's gonna go chase him..." Applebloom said with disgust. "Noooo... Whatever gave you that idea?" I said sarcastically. I just want to have a little chat... Maybe even flirt a little, because I still have a bet to win.

Suddenly I heard a familiar sound... Hey, I think it's... That pegasus guy! He just zoomed over us, going faster than the last time I saw him. "Whoa, who's that guy!?!" The three girls asked. "I don't know... But I plan to find out!" I said as I bent my knees and took off after him. Time to find out the identity of Dawn's look alike.

...

Man... Flying is the best fucking thing ever... I feel so free.... So chill... So HAPPY! If it was normal for pegasi to use magic I would totally stay a pegasus... Too bad. I flew up past the cloud layer and set down on a nice one. Oh man, I wish I could do this back in my world. I picked the perfect one! It's a super, soft fluffy, puffy cloud that makes my senses melt by just touching it. Man... I'm getting kinda sleepy... *yawn* Sheesh... I'll never look at a bed the same way again... They suck eggs compared to th-zzzzzzzzz

...

Catching up to this guy was harder than I thought! But I'm still not breaking a sweat... Yet. He flew up and landed on this soft, fluffy cloud that I've had my eyes one for a while... Darn it! I was saving that one! It looked like he was sleeping now... Sheesh, that was quick! Well, not as quick as me. Anyway, now that he's asleep I can examine him a bit closer now. The cloud he's on is big enough for both of us, so I carefully stepped on to it, the cloud shifted slightly with my weight. I slowly walked up to him, he was sprawled out on his back breathing steadily. Gosh... Seeing him like this is maddening! Maybe I could just have a LITTLE fun with him... No! Focus, Dash! Do what you came for!

So, like I suspected... Having seen this guy and Dawn up close they look like freaking twins! The differences were few and far between. This guy's cutie mark looks just like Dawn's except there is a tornado and less sparkles. But that same black lightning bolt was there... So, weird... He has the same body... The only slight differences were the obvious fact that this guy has wings, oh and did I mention how strong they look? Ahem... Anyway, same tail, same mane, same colors, same handsome golden eyes... I could look into them and be hypnotized forever... In fact I could just kiss him right now... That worried, sexy face of his.. Wait...he just blinked... OH BUCK, he's awake!

...

So, you know how I fell asleep on that cloud? Yeah... well... I woke up to see Rainbow Dash draped over me, and it looked like she was about to kiss me... Well, this could be really hot- but it's not! Because I don't like ponies, right? God... what the hell is wrong with me?

"Soooo..." I said carefully. Rainbow Dash immediately stepped back nervously, and looked away in embarrassment. "What... are you doing?" I asked suspiciously as I started to slowly crawl near the edge of the cloud. Rainbow Dash's face flashed from embarrassment to being skeptical. "Hey... Your voice sounds the same, too!" She said as she took a step toward me. Oh no... "Uh... I don't know what you're talking about, Dash..." I said innocently. She kept moving closer and she stopped when what I said sunk in. "What the- how do you know my name?!" She asked angrily.

Shit.

"I, uh...." I stuttered as I moved closer to the edge. "Grrrr... you and your twin Dawning Jade have some explaining to do!" She yelled angrily. "Bye!" I said with a wave as I finally slid off the edge. "Wait a second, hey!" was all she said before she was already out of audio range. I dove straight down towards Ponyville. I'm too pumped with adrenaline right now to be scared of this dive. I plan to pull up right before I hit the ground and use the momentum from the dive to fly off somewhere... Anywhere! I started to feel the G forces building up as I got closer to the ground, it became a lot harder to concentrate on controlling my wing muscles. Shit... I have no experience with this! I could fuck up, crash, then end up with a broken neck. I'm going to start pulling up now just incase.

I grunted as I struggled to start pulling up. It was a very slow ascension but I got it done! I used the momentum to carry me toward... Where the hell am I going? Fuck it, I'll hide in Canterlot, it's up on the mountain in front of me anyway. I turned back to see Rainbow performing the dive I just did, except I noticed she wasn't pulling up at the point that I did, she just kept going. What the hell? Is she nuts? She was a foot away from the ground when she suddenly pulled a 90° turn like it was nothing! Holy shit she's a pro! Of course she benefited way more from the momentum than I did! She's almost here already! Gotta try harder! I focused and flapped my wings harder, I looked behind me and noticed something weird. There was a black trail, similar to Dash's Rainbow colored trail behind me. OK... Not sure how that makes sense...at all... But there's no time for logic! Gotta go fast!

After considerable effort, I think i was going as fast as my wings could carry me, but I was still a good 2 miles away from Canterlot and Rainbow Dash was coming in fast. FUCK! Think, Derrick, think! OK, let's see... I'm not going to beat her in speed... Or agility... Or endurance... Shit! This is hopeless! How do I escape? Damn it... I wish I had a flash bang or something. Then I could blind her long enough for me to escape. Heh, it would be just like that time Goku used that solar flare ability to escape from the great ape.... Wait I have fucking magic now, I can probably reproduce that shit!

"Hey come back here! You have some explaining to do!" I heard Rainbow yell. Shit, now or never! So I stopped and faced her. She was flying at me with a look of anger and determination. I put my hoofs together and concentrated my magic, closing my eyes. Hopefully it's not TOO bright! I don't want to blind her permenatly. Rainbow was only a few feet away when my magic suddenly flared up and a bright light emanated from my hoofs.

"Aaaah! What the hay?!" Rainbow yelled. I open my eyes to see her floating in front of me shielding her eyes. NOW IS MY CHANCE! I zipped off toward Canterlot, going so fast I left that black trail behind me again. I finally reached the city limits, and I noticed this really tall tower that was part of the Canterlot castle. I saw what looked like Princess Celestia standing there... hmm, I could land in any random alley and probably be fine. You know what, fuck it, I am about to collapse and from this height, and that's the closest surface.

I arced down and aimed for the balcony. There was plenty of space to land, but I have to make sure I don't run into Celestia, or I think my body would turn into fucking jelly because fuck you, I'm an alicorn. I barely skimmed past her and I made a sloppy landing on the balcony, sliding and rolling onto my back. I was gasping for air and sweating heavily, my wings twiched painfully from the heavy use. Celestia immediately turned from what looked like a telescope to face me.

"Derrick?" she said as she smiled happily when she saw me. "I didn't expect you to... Drop in like that..." she said as she walked over to me excitedly. Her expression changed when she saw how exhausted I was. "What happened?!" She asked with concern. "Getting... chased.... gotta... hide..." I said in between gasps. "Getting chased? By whom?" She asked with a frown as her horn lit up, probably ready to vaporize my chaser. "Crazy... mares..." I said. Celestia started laughing. "Crazy mares? Don't be silly..." She said with a shake of her head.

Suddenly we heard a dull booming sound in the distance. "Fuck.... here she comes..." I said with a cringe. Celestia gave me a reassuring smile "Don't worry, my student, I'll take care of her..." She assured. All I could do was nod as she gently placed me on her bed in her room and closed the door to her balcony. I could hear what sounded like Rainbow Dash landing on the balcony. It kinda just made a light "clop" instead of the skidding followed by a painful slam that I did. I could still make out what they were saying from inside here.

"Good afternoon, Princess Celestia." Rainbow greeted with a respectful tone.

"Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash. What brings you to my balcony?" Celestia asked kindly.

"I was looking for this pegasus guy who flew around here." Rainbow said with a snappy less formal tone.

"What did he look like?" Celestia asked.

"He looks kinda like that hot new student of yours... Have you seen him around here?"

"No... I'm afraid I haven't..." Celestia said with a nervous laugh.

"Darn it... Well OK... Thanks anyway, Princess..." Rainbow Dash said with disappointment as I heard Rainbow flap her wings.

"You're welcome."

"Time to find Dawn and show him how sexy I am!" Rainbow said with confidence.

"..."

At that point I couldn't tell what was happening out there anymore because I was getting drowsy. Celestia's bed is fucking deadly comfortable, it must be made of clouds! I was about to fall asleep for the second time when I heard what sounded like snoring next to me. I turned around to see Princess Luna sleeping on the other side of the bed. Luckily, it was a big ass bed so she wasn't too close to me. Oh god... My balls hurt from just looking at her... That fucking nightmare... Luna didn't have any of her royal wear on and she was sprawled out on the bed and snoring loudly. Holy shit. that looks embarrassing. I should take a picture...

Just then, Princess Celestia quietly opened the balcony door and walked inside. She walked over and layed down next to me... Kinda close... Heh, I don't mind- er, I mean, I'm too lazy to move! Yeah, that's it! "You're a life saver, Princess! Thank you..." I said with relief as I relaxed slightly. "You're welcome!" Celestia said as she nuzzled my cheek. For some reason, I didn't freak out this time. I don't know... It just didn't bother me this time. Celestia noticed this and blushed slightly.

"So how come she's here?" I asked as I gestured to Luna. "Oh, she likes to sleep in my room. I don't really mind because she's awake by the time I'm ready to sleep. Sometimes she's not too drowsy in the afternoons and we talk. It's the only time we really do, I'm afraid..." Celestia explained. "Oh..." I said as I fell silent and looked away.

"So... How has your stay in Ponyville been?" She asked curiously. "I don't know.... It's been... A roller coaster..." I said with a sigh. The Princess seemed to understand, so I guess they have roller coasters here... "To start it off, Spike almost killed me with books..." I said bitterly. The Princess giggled and nodded. "Then, Twilight needed me to do some errands which involved me meeting up with her friends..." I said with a shudder. "What was wrong with that?" Celestia asked with a raised brow. "Well...to put it simply... they all want Dawning Jade... inside them..." I said bluntly. Celestia looked away with a blush and a nervous smile. "I wonder why they would..." Celestia said nervously with a hint of sarcasm. Huh.. Where did that come from? That was weird. "I have a little bit of a reputation already... Being your student and all..." I mentioned. "Yes, the same happened to Twilight Sparkle when I originally took her under my wing." Celestia said with a nod. "Ya know, that was a figure of speech back on my world... But now you can literally... Never mind..." I said with a facehoof. Celestia blessed my ears with her sweet musical laughter- uh... I mean... She laughed...

Behind us, Luna shifted slightly. I looked back nervously. "Oh, don't worry, she's a heavy sleeper." Celestia assured as she read my mind. I shrugged and turned back to her and continued. "Yeah anyway... most mares are pretty much acting weird and flirty around me." I started to say. Then I felt a breath on my neck, I swallowed and turned around and Luna was laying next to me on my right. She smiled nervously and averted her eyes. Well she's up now... Fuck...

I turned back to Celestia on my left with a deadpan expression. Celestia giggled "Well... Usually she's a heavy sleeper..." She said innocently. Luna just relaxed a little bit and listened as I continued my rant. "So, of course I was the new guy in town, so Pinkie just HAD to throw me a welcome party..." I said with a shudder. Celestia giggled "I assume the party went well? " she asked with a raised brow. "Heck yeah! But..." I said as I tapped my front hoofs together nervously. "But?" Celestia questioned. "The only reason the party went well, was because I kinda... Got wasted and forgot the whole thing..." I said with a shrug... Celestia started snickering behind her hoof.

"Twilight told me I hugged a glass table so hard that it broke and I cut myself..." I said as I plopped my head on the bed with a frown. Celestia snickered again, "Then, apparently I tried to kill a fly with my lasers, and I ended up hitting the DJ's horn..." I said grumpily. "Really? Is she OK?" Celestia asked with widened eyes. "Yeah, I visited her in the hospital today to apologize. She wasn't really angry with me." I muttered. "Oh, that was nice of you!" Celestia said with a smirk as she nudged me. "Hey I'm not a total prick.." I muttered as I smirked and nudged her back. She looked away with a blush as I continued. "Her friend from Canterlot wasn't happy with me..." I said with a roll of my eyes, Celestia responded with her laughter again.

"Anyways, then Twilight said that the drinks made me a little... Flirty" I said sheepishly. Celestia began to look a bit suspicious and it seemed like next to me Luna got nervous. "Twilight said I kissed Rarity on the cheek." I said with a frown. I could have sworn I saw Celestia's eye twitch just now... Nah, I'm seeing shit... "I don't even want to get into that one... Kissing ponies, ugh..." I said with a shudder. Celestia regarded me with a neutral stare that had a hint of anger. Why is she mad? I mean... Making nice with the ponies was the objective right?

"Anyways... Uh... After that.. everything got really fuzzy... I vaugely remember... but something important DID happened." I said, rubbing my chin curiously. Behind me Luna coughed and smiled nervously. I narrowed my eyes and racked my brain. "I remember having the brilliant plan to sit on Twilight's balcony while I drank a stash of shots..." I said as I concentrated on remembering. Celestia just smiled and shook her head "I hope you don't make getting intoxicated and shooting ponies a routine!" She said with a giggle. Next to me Luna shifted uncomfortably. I turned to her and her eyes were darting around and she was sweating."Hey! What's wrong with you?" I asked. She just averted her eyes. "It's nothing, Derrick, continue your story. I'm fine..." She assured.

"Hey, why did you drop the old English?" I ask curiously. "As I said before... I've been meaning to drop it for some time." She explained. Huh? When did she say that? I started staring at her, my memory of last night started coming back to me. "Hey... You were there on Twilight's balcony..." I said aloud, making her sweat more, Celestia began to look suspicious. "What do you mean she was with you on the balcony?" She asked. "I was sitting there taking shots, when Princess Luna popped up out of nowhere..." I said as I gave her a curious look. "Yes...I was just...uh... visiting..." Luna said with a nervous smile.

"Yeah... She was there... And...she... Healed that cut I got..." I said as I started to eye her suspiciously. I'm pretty sure Luna kinda hates me... Right? "Then... She was sad about something...uh... Her recent break up... Yeah! That's what it was! So I tried comforting her or something... I think I hugged her..." I said, slightly horrified. Celestia started processing what I said, "Wait a second... What break up?" She said with wide eyes. "Uh... Her and Mac...." I said sheepishly as I scratched my head.

"Sister! Don't you tell me anything anymore?" Celestia asked, eying Luna angrily.

"Oh! I was planning to tell you all about the incident on Twilight's balcony... Eventually..." Luna said as she shrank nervously next to me. I ignored them after that, because I did something really IMPORTANT on that balcony but I can't fucking remember what!

"The whole purpose of you sleeping in here during the day was for us to TALK! When on earth were you planning to tell me that!?!" Celestia questioned. Damn... It's really killing me trying to remember... Something went down on the fucking balcony.

"Sister, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you..." Luna trailed off and averted her eyes. Hmm... It coming back to me... Whatever it was... I think I enjoyed it. Fuck, I'm worried now.

"Wait.... You said 'the accident on the roof'. What did you mean by that?" Celestia inquired. When Luna didn't respond for several seconds, Celestia started to look concerned. I'm going to flip a shit if I don't remember what the fuck happened on that damn balcony.

"Lulu... You know you can tell big sis anything." Celestia said reassuringly. Luna took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"While Derrick was comforting me we may have... made contact..." Luna started as she tapped her hoofs together. "You touched horns? Derrick is so clumsy with his horn sometimes." Celestia said with a groan. "Oh... No.. It was much more intimate than that... We kissed..." Luna blurted. I heard my name, then Luna said "we" and the word "kissed". What in the motherfucking depths and crevices of HELL is she talking about?!?

Celestia laughed nervously. "Hehe... I couldn't quite hear what you said there, Lulu... It sounded like you said 'we kissed'." Celestia said with, nervous laughter . Luna just put her head down slowly and said nothing more.

Hold on a second... Did I just hear what I think I did? We...kissed...

Oh... ShitfuckDamnAssssssssssss

[derrick_young.exe has stopped responding. Would you like to close?]

"WE DID WHAT!!!!!!" I suddenly blurted as I realized what they were talking about. "We... kissed" Luna repeated bluntly. I just smiled and waved it off. "Nope, there is no way... You almost scared me there." I said sheepishly. A few seconds went by before the floodgates to my memory burst open. "Fuck, I remember now. We totally locked lips on that balcony..." I choked out as I started hyperventilating. Luna was smiling nervously and Celestia had... That look... I can't fucking describe it to you... But it's the one she gave me when Luna and I touched horns.

Then I started to realize where the fuck I am right now... I'm in A BED with TWO Princesses rubbing up on me... They've scooted significantly closer to me without me noticing. Hmm... NOPE! I immediately sprang off the bed, both Princesses looked surprised. "I have to... go..." Was all I said as I flung the balcony door open and slammed it behind me. My wings were still kinda of sore so I gave them a quick stretch, even though all i really need to do is glide. I heard one of them open the door behind me, "Derrick, wait!" One of them called out, but I ignored whoever it was and took off without looking back.

I started gliding down toward Ponyville, in deep thought. Seriously... What the hell is wrong with me!?! I... Kissed... Luna....I kissed.... a...pony...a fucking PONY. I'm a human! I'm not supposed to like ponies! Something has to be wrong with me... Ever since I got here... I've had moments where I've caught myself...staring... At them. Sometimes even fantasizing for a second. Why the hell did I not see the red flags popping up... Like, why the hell did I think it was OK to lay in that bed with them like that?!That moment with Rainbow on that cloud, I may or may not have gotten a little excited... Well... Maybe more... God, I hope Rainbow didn't see...

There's also something really strange about Celestia, when I'm around her I just feel like... All is right with the world... I-I just feel... Right! I feel like I could talk to her about everything! And I've only known her for like 3-4 days! What's up with that?! Then there is Luna... I'm supposed to hate her fucking guts! But... I guess I don't... Because I fucking kissed her... And... I liked it... WHY DID I LIKE IT?!? I'm not supposed to like ponies! It's wrong because.... Because.... Because... Well... Shut up! It just is!

OK....OK... I need to get my mind off of this, because I passed Ponyville already, like the expert navigater I am. I did a quick turn and landed on the outskirts. I changed back into my unicorn form and walked into town. It was now an hour or two before sunset and everyone was out and about, trick or treating and all that bullshit, celebrating things and being happy. Sigh... Ya know what, fuck it! May as well get into the spirit of things... Then again last time I said "may as well' I ended up locking lips with a pony... So no drinking tonight for me. Hopefully tonight's festivities will help me forgot about what happened in that room.

Hmm, let's see... This is Halloween basically, so I need a costume. Maybe I could actually go as a human! Nah, that will cause problems. Hmm... maybe a soldier? Wait, I don't know what pony soldiers look like... Wait a second, yes I do! I'll go as a Royal Guard! I barely remember what their armor even looks like though, so I'll see if I see any guards patrolling, because there are a few stationed in Ponyville. So I basically walked around for a while, avoiding girls and random kids until I found a guard. I don't know his name, nor do I need to. Let's see... It's gold... And Roman... Yeah, if I'm doing this I'm going to alter the design a bit, because I'm not a fan of that fucking brush that's on top of their heads.

I went to a place where I wouldn't be disturbed and sat down. I concentrated on replicating what I saw the guard wearing. My horn lit up and slowly the armor began materializing in front of me. After about a minute of concentration the same set of armor was sitting right in front of me. Alright, sweet! Let's see now... Gold? Fuck that. How about silver? Hmmm, nah... Black? Yeah that's pretty nice... OK, that helmet. Fuck that brush thing... I'll go for a blade instead. Kinda like a fin, except not stupid looking. Hm... I also really like visors, so let's throw a blue one on there. Ummm... Why not! I'll make the armor look more aggressive too.

By the time I was done with it, I doubt it's even recognizable as Royal Guard armor anymore... Mostly because it's black. Let's bring the gold back I guess. Hmm, that's all? Now it looks like a Guard with a badass helmet... huh, I'm not a fucking designer like Rarity, so I guess I did enough. Most of my beef was with the helmet anyway. Alright, sweet, time to try this shit on! It wasn't hard to slip into armor and it wasn't heavy or anything either, so this is kinda great! Although... I feel kinda lame... Dressing up and all... Isn't this childish? Or as Twilight puts it, foalish? Well fuck it, as long as I don't drink things will be fine. Oops, I forgot those slipper things that the Guards and Princesses wear! It took me about 20 seconds to make 4 of them, they were surprisingly comfortable, even though gripping things would be a bit of a challenge now... Good thing I have magic!

I figured I should show Twilight my lame ass costume, because why the hell not? So I started heading back Towards where her house tree (yes, I'm calling it that) was. Well... At least where I THINK it is anyway.

So, after a few minutes of getting lost, I noticed something weird. There was a black storm cloud that kept following me, it would stop moving whenever I looked at it for some reason, and I swear I heard snickering too. Wow... This is what Mario feels like when those fucking ghosts sit behind him and troll him by hiding when he looks at them. I'd actually be a little worried if there were ghosts in Equestria. OK, if this thing doesn't fuck off I'm gonna zap the fu-

*BOOOOM!*

I yelped as an arc of lighting zapped the ground next to me. Before I could vaporize the offending cloud out of the realm of reality, I heard the sound of familiar laughter, as it started to float to the ground. On the cloud was a pegasus girl wearing this weird black suit that reminded me of a super hero. She had Rainbow colored hair... HMM... Great. She's here now.

"Ha! I totally scared you!" Rainbow Dash said as she hopped off of her cloud. "You're the first guard I actually managed to scare! Most of them just keep a straight face and ignore me..." She said as she walked up to me and looked curiously. "Hey.... Wait a minute, is that you, Dawn?" She asked as she got closer and tilted her head slightly. I poked out my chest and tried using a heroic voice. "No citizen! I don't know this... Dawn that you speak of, maybe-". " I know it's you Dawn..." Rainbow interrupted. Huh... Well, that didn't last long...

"I was looking for you earlier... Then that look alike of yours showed up." Rainbow said suspiciously, as she glared at me. "Oh... you saw him again?" I said, pretending to be oblivious. "Yeah, I saw him up close this time." She said with a frown. "I swear the guy looks EXACTLY like you. Are you sure you don't know him?" Rainbow asked. "Nope..." I muttered. Rainbow dash looked me over a few times before sighing in annoyance. "Just forget it." She said as she frowned and looked away.

"So, what's with the suit? Are you supposed to be a super hero?" I asked. "Hey! I'm a Shadowbolt! Couldn't you tell?" Rainbow said as she got into one of her "cool" poses. "Uh... Not really." I said with a shrug. "Well, now you know!" Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. "It looks a tad ridiculous to me." I said bluntly. Hmm... in hindsight I probably shouldn't have said that... "WHAT??? It's not ridiculous! It's bucking AWESOME!!" Then she started ranting about how cool she was, and how the Wonderbolts... Shadowbolts... whatever, were the coolest or some shit.

I took off my helmet and rolled my eyes. "You get really worked up over nothing, Dash..." I said with a laugh, shaking my head in disappointment. "Uh... No, I don't! Shut up!" She sputtered. "Chill out, Dash." I said with a smirk. I ruffled her hair up with my hoof and she frowned. "Stop it!" She yelled as she pushed my hoof away. "You're adorable when you're angry!" I said with a chuckle as I turned and started walking away. I walked for a few steps then took a glance behind me and sure enough dash was floating behind me with that cloud of hers. I stopped and looked up at her. I deadpanned and she just stuck her tounge out at me childishly... foalishly... whatever. Fuck it...

We walked for a while in silence before getting to Twilight's, Rainbow hopped off her cloud and stood next to me. I was about to knock on the door when I stopped and turned to her. "Seriously... why are you even here? Don't you have kids to scare?" I asked with a raised brow. "Meh, that got kinda boring. I have nothing better to do now..." Rainbow admitted with a shrug. I just snorted angrily, and knocked on the door. Spike answered it wearing... A dragon costume. Wow really? He's already a fucking dragon! Why the fuck is he dressed like one? I'm not even going to ask. He looked up at me and smiled. "I see you're in the spirit of things!" He said as he looked me over. "You totally look like the real deal! Nice job!" He said as he studied my armor. "Thanks bro..." I said with a confident smirk. "Hey, what about me?!" Rainbow Dash said. "Oh, uh, you look nice too..." Spike muttered. Rainbow lowered her head and started grumbling. Heh, I think she's jealous of my Royal Guard swag.

"So, where's Twilight?" I asked as I looked around. "Oh, she's upstairs. She's been working on her costume all day." Spike said with a chuckle. "Really? What is it anyways?" I asked. All I really know about Twilight is that she's kind of a nerd... Not that there's anything wrong with that, so I have no idea what she would really dress as. "Well, she said she was coming downstairs soon- there she is!" Spike said. She casually walked down the stairs in... her costume.

"What do you think? Can you guess who I am?" Twilight asked with a smile. She was wearing what looked like a robe, and a wizard hat. She also had this fake beard on. Hmm... Something tells me that there is a possibility that maybe Twilight probably may or may not be a wizard. Which wizard you ask? No fucking clue. They don't have Gandalf here... Or Dumbledore, so I'm stumped. "I have no bucking clue who your supposed to be Twilight." Rainbow said with a shake of her head. Spike and I busted out laughing, she said exactly what I was about to say. "You mean... you guys don't know Starswirl the Bearded?!" Twilight said with wide eyes. "Nope." I muttered before busting out laughing again. "I told you nopony would recognize your costume." Spike said with a shake of his head. Twilight deadpanned and sighed "I can't believe you guys don't recognize one of the most influential wizards in history..." She muttered in disappointment. "Sorry, Twi. We can't all be eggheads like you!" Rainbow teased. Spike and I snickered, making Twilight growl slightly. "I need more supplies from Rarity... Then maybe SOMEPONY will recognize who I am!" Twilight said as she stormed out of the door. Well at least I know what she used the buttons for...

"Hey,, wait for me, Twilight!" Spike called out as he rushed out behind her, leaving Rainbow dash and I standing there. We sat in silence for a few seconds. "So...." Rainbow started to say. "I'm out." I muttered blankly without even looking at her, as I walked back outside. I guess I'm just going to wander around or something. I can see Twilight and Spike walking to where I assume was Rarity's place, so fuck going in that direction... I wonder where Mac is? His costume is probably hilarious. As I was standing there contemplating where to go, I realized that Rainbow Dash was STILL following me... OK, I give up. I stopped walking and turned around, she instantly froze in place and smiled nervously.

"*sigh* Alright... what do you want do?" I asked with obvious irritation.

"Wh-what?" She said, taken by surprise. "You're obviously NOT going to quit following me so we may as well do something." I said with a shrug. Her face morphed into this half lidded smile. She walked up to me and started biting her lip as she rubbed my chest seductively. "Well, me and you could-" she started to say. I jumped back and looked away nervously. "H-hey that's not what I m-meant!" I sputtered. Rainbow's cheeks turned red and she smiled nervously. "Oh, uh...that's not want I meant either, dude...I just...uh... Want to go prank somepony?" She asked.

"Absolutely." I said with a smirk. Rainbow shared my smirk and we both set off, looking for victims.

...

Two goofy looking kids were galloping out of a forest as fast as their little hoofs could carry them. A loud thumping and a faint roar could be heard behind them, as they bolted towards the trailer belonging to their favorite magician.

They got there and knocked on the door desperately. A sleepy looking Trixie answered. "Begone! Trixie is still exuasted!" She snapped at the kids. "Um... sorry to bother you, oh Great and Powerful Trixie..." Snips said. "But do you remember that time you saved Hoofington from that Ursa major?" Snails asked. Trixie thought for a second and swallowed nervously. "Uh, yes... Trixie remembers her heroic efforts. What about it?" She said with a grin. "Well, um... There may or may not be an angry one stomping it's way over to Ponyville!" Snips blurted. Trixie held her smile but her eye twitched. "What have you done." Trixie muttered as she facehoofed. "Yeah, but you can totally beat it up right?" Snips said as his mood lightened up and he jumped around excitedly. "Um, yes, of course... Trixie can." She said with nervous laughter. "Good, because it should be here right about-"

*ROOOOOOAR!!!!!*

"-now!"

...

Dash and I went on this hilarious pranking spree. I would usually distract the kids by giving them a fake lecture on safety or something lame like that, then when their guard is down, Rainbow would swoop in with her cloud and rape their ears with thunder. It was fucking hilarious, because the faces they would make were priceless! Eventually, we stopped and just wandered around.

"That was awesome! Did you see that one kid's face?" Rainbow said with a giggle. "Yeah! and then her friend freaked out and started shooting lasers everywhere!" I said with a chuckle. "Then one of the lasers hit that guy's bag and all the candy exploded everywhere!" Rainbow said, laughing uncontrollably. "And then that one laser bounced off my armor and hit you!" I said as I nudged her. She frowned and pushed me back. "Hey, that wasn't funny! It kinda hurt..." Rainbow said as she turned to her flank. "Ha! Whatever, stop being such a wuss." I said as I bumped her again. "Hey! I'm not a wuss, you punk!" Rainbow shot back as she bumped me harder. "Oh yeah? And what will you do about it?" I ask with a raised brow. "I'll... I'll.." She stuttered. Before she could answer, I ruffled up her hair again. She growled at me and slapped my face with her tail. I retaliated by zapping her ass with a weak laser making her yelp and frown at me.

"What did you go and do that for?!" Rainbow demanded. "Because buck you, that's why." I said with a smirk. Rainbow rolled her eyes and kept walking. Eventually we got to this random corner. "Hey... I think I hear Twilight." Rainbow muttered. I took a peek around the corner and I spotted Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. They were all walking up the street with her. Pinkie was dressed up as... A chicken. Yeah, I don't get it. Applejack was dressed up as... A scarecrow? Fluttershy surprisingly didn't have a costume on. Huh... I wonder why. And Rarity is... A princess? Not gonna lie... She's a pretty convincing princess. Speaking of princesses, I feel an enormous magical power nearby... It could only be one of the- oh look, there's Luna.

Shitshitshit! Why is she here? I immediately zipped back around the corner and hugged my back against the wall. Rainbow looked really confused at my sudden behavior. "Dude, what's wrong?" She asked with concern. "Buck! Luna's over there with them!" I blurted. "So? What's the big deal? " Rainbow asked as she peeked around the corner. I quickly snatched her back with my magic, "Stop it! They'll see you!" I scolded. Rainbow frowned and glared at me "Dude, you really need to chill! Why are you so nervous anyway?" Rainbow asked suspiciously. "Oh, uh... Nothing..." I said with a nervous smile. Rainbow raised her brow "you're totally lying, dude." She said with disbelief. "Uh, just forget it..." I said as I tried to slip away. Rainbow grabbed my tail and dragged me back. Ugh, I forgot that she's kinda strong. "What.... did... you... do...?" Rainbow repeated. Before I could answer or deny anything, Pinkie poked her head around the corner. "Hey girls, come here! I found Dash and Dawn!" Pinkie said as she waved the group over.

Shit.

They all slowly walked over and I cringed. They all gasped when they saw me, I kinda just avoided eye contact and smiled awkwardly. "Heeeeey...." I muttered as I scratched the back of my head, I'm starting to hate the fact that I lost my damn helmet right about now. Pinkie, Applejack and Rarity zipped up to me, "Ya look mighty fine in that armor of yours." Applejack said with half lidded eyes. "Uh, thanks?" I said sheepishly "It's so shiny!" Pinkie said, as she stared at her reflection on my armor. "Oh my... this is perfect! You can be my Royal guard... And I can be your princess..." Rarity said with a wink. "Uh, I'm good..." I said sheepishly as I backed away from them. Rainbow Dash walked up and pushed them all back. "Come on, give the guy some space, girls..." she said with a giggle. Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy and Luna walked over, and like before, I avoided eye contact with Luna. I can't face her after that awkwardness in Celestia's room.

"Y-your costume looks nice Mr. Dawn..." Fluttershy complimented nervously. "Oh, uh, thanks." I said. "So' why did you decide to participate anyway?" Twilight asked curiously. "Oh, I don't know... I guess this is better than sitting in the house doing nothing..." I muttered. Twilight just nodded. "I bet the mares will be all over you. They love a stallion in armor." Spike said with a smirk. I deadpanned and took a glance behind me. "Yeah... No kidding..." I muttered with a roll of my eyes. Then despite my best efforts I made eye contact with Princess Luna, she was giving me a look that I couldn't read. I swear her and her sister are unreadable sometimes. We sat there staring at each other for a few seconds.

"Uh... Hi..." I said sheepishly. She sat there for a second before replying.

"Greetings." She said plainly. Dammit, I'm getting nothing from that expression.

"...You look... nice..." I said carefully. She just smiled lightly.

"Thanks! You look nice as well, but personally I think you'd look better with the night guard's armor." She with a nervous laugh.

"Maybe... Next time?" I said with a nod as I looked behind me. Rainbow Dash was giving me a warm smile, while Applejack and Rarity were stuck in fantasy land, and Pinkie was... Wait what the fuck? She's floating in midair... upside down... OK. I REALLY hope that someone here is lifting her with their magic. Let's just forget how and why for now or I'll go insane. "So, uh... I have to go... or something." I said anxiously, slowly creeping away from the group. The girls (and Spike) all looked at me suspiciously. "Oh, I think I see Mac over there... I'm gonna go talk to him, bye!" I said as I zipped away.

...

"He is up to something..." Applejack muttered aloud. "Really? What makes you say that?" Twilight asked, looking dumbfounded. "Macintosh is over there..." Luna said with a deadpan expression. Twilight looked at the direction DJ left and the direction Mac actually was. "Oh..." Twilight muttered with a facehoof. The group fell silent for a few seconds until Dash spoke up. "I'm going to go see what he's up too." She said as she took off into the air. Moments later, Luna sighed. "I must... take care of something... I shall return shortly." She said as she took off into the sky, leaving the group confused. "Is it just me or has the Princess been acting a little... strange." Twilight wondered aloud. "I noticed that she has changed how she acts to some degree... She stopped using the old talk..." Rarity said, rubbing her chin in thought. "It probably has something to do with the fact that mah brother broke up with her." Applejack said with a shake of her head.

"That may be true, but Mr. Dawn was acting kind of strange too..." Fluttershy added. "Yeah, but that feller always acts strange." Applejack said with a chuckle. "Yes, indeed! It's part of his charm... But I believe he was acting a bit stranger than usual." Rarity said. "Yeah... Your right. It looked like his heart stopped when he saw Princess Luna..." Applejack said. "It's all strange. I wonder if something happened between them..." Twilight said with worry. "Maybe we should check on Dawn and see how he's doing." Rarity suggested. The group agreed and started heading in the direction DJ went.

...

Thank god I'm away from that situation! The awkwardness was creeping me out. I still can't believe I made out with a pony... And Luna of all ponies! I mean... We hate each other right? Hmmm... Not gonna lie... That WAS a nice kiss though. Nonono! That's bad! I should chop off my dick for even thinking that! Er... Not really... But, damn... My mind can get really fucked up sometimes... Like... Why am I having a fantasy of the SAME thing happening with Celestia? FUCK! Something is definitely wrong with me now! I've been a pony for too long or something!

Before I could dwell on my strange thoughts, they were interrupted by an ear splitting scream. Woah, what the fuck? Wait... It's Halloween right now, of course people will scream. Before I could dismiss it, I felt the ground rumble so hard that I almost tripped. OK, seriously, what the hell is that? A fucking earthquake? Then I saw those two goofy kids from earlier running for their lives along with that wizard girl. "Hey! What the buck was that?" I called out too them. They saw me and their faces lit up, and they ran over to me.

"You're Princess Celestia's new student right?" The girl called out desperately.

"Um....yeah?"

"So that means that you're gifted and skilled in magic right?"

"Well... I guess... S-"

"Good! Trixie needs your assistance!"

"OK, but I don't-"

"Thanks to these brats, there is a Ursa Major on it's way here!"

"...but can't you handle it?" I said with a smirk as I glanced at the kids. I remember the little shits bragging about how awesome the Great and Powerful Trixie was, and now she needs my help? Ha!

"Trixie hates to admit it but she is NOT strong enough to defeat a Ursa Major..." She said with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah... I don't see how this is my probl-"

"Oh no! Here it comes!" One of the goofy kids screamed. I turned toward the direction of the sound, I mean... I may not be experienced, but I have the magic of one of the Princesses AND the ancient and powerful Chaos magic, so whatever this Ursa Major thing is, I should be OK. So I turned fully to face this "Ursa major" and let me just say...

I almost shit bricks.

There was a BIG ASS blue bear that looked translucent with the texture of the night sky, staring down at me with its large glowing eyes. This thing must have been at least 3-4 stories tall. It's fucking huge! Trixie and those two kids cowered behind me as I stared up at the thing in horror. Worst of all, it did NOT look happy. "Uh... Just a friendly suggestion... You may just want to slightly consider maybe getting the buck out of here..." I whispered. The 3 of them nodded and bolted away. There were a bunch of people running and screaming through the streets. The bear stood on it's hind legs and roared defiantly. Wait a second... I should be noping the fuck outta here too! But wait a second... There's still people in these streets, and I'm the only thing standing between innocent families and this thing. I would NEVER be able to live with myself if I could have saved lives, but instead I just ran like a pussy.

So, despite my completely rational fear of giant mistycal bears ripping my organs out, I shakingly stood my ground. The bear fell back onto all fours, it was maybe a mere 50 feet from where I was standing. To my complete horror the bear seemed to be focusing on this one family that was trying get away. There was a little girl clinging onto her mother, bawling her eyes out, and this fucking thing is about to turn them into red jelly. I don't think so, motherfucker!

I charged a laser and started firing at the Ursa to try and get it's attention. One of the lasers scored a direct hit in the thing's eye and it's head reeled back and it roared in pain. When it recovered it snorted loudly and glared at me. It slowly started to take steps toward me and only me, it was like the thing forgot all about the citizens trying to escape. Great... Soooooo, now what?

My ears drooped as the bear closed in on me. It tried to swipe a paw at me but I sidestepped it. I then started rapidly firing lasers at the thing, they seemed to either bounce off harmlessly or they would hit but barely do any damage. The bear turned and swiped at me again, low this time. I had to jump over the attack because of how low it was. It would have broken my legs if I didn't tuck them in when I jumped. I may have dodged the attack somewhat well, but the house behind me couldn't dodge, so it ended up taking the brunt of the damage. The wooden and straw house was easily turned to splinters and rubble by the powerful swipe. Some of the wreckage hit me hard enough to cause small cuts and bruises, but I barely noticed because of the adrenaline rapidly pumping through my veins. Welp... I hope the owner of that house has huge ass mystical bear attack insurance.

I charged up a more powerful laser and fired at the bear's head again. That's the only area that seems to damage it enough for it to pause. Unfortunately, it recovered faster then last time, and it tried to squash me with it's balled up fist, but I reacted by side stepping again. The bear missed, but it's paw shook the ground enough for me to lose my footing... Hoofing... Whatever. The bear then used that opportunity to swipe at me again. I was only partially ready, so when it swiped this time, one of it's claws grazed my chest. Now when I say graze, I mean my fucking chest plate was cleanly cut through, and their was a deep cut across my chest. A few inches up and the thing probably would have slit my throat. I yelled out in pain and clutched my chest, it was a pretty deep cut... I bet if I didn't have this armor my guts would be all over the floor. The bear reared back for another swipe, shit! I can't move right now... Too much pain...
I braced myself for another hit, but before it could swipe at me again a rainbow blur came out of know where, and slammed into the bear's face, knocking it's head back and confusing it. Rainbow swiftly landed next to me. "And the amazingly awesome Rainbow Dash hits her mark!" She said with a bow. "Don't celebrate yet! It's still alive!" I said with a smirk. "What is that thing anyway!?!" Rainbow cried out with wide eyes.

"It's.. An... Ursa Major... ugh!" I said as, I clutched my chest in pain and started to fall. Rainbow's eyes widened. "Woah... You're hurt!" She said as she got close and stared at my chest. "No... I'm... Erg... Fine..." I said as I stood up again slowly before collapsing again. Rainbow rushed to my side "Woah slow down there, Dawn! You're gonna make it worse!" She warned. I just looked up to her, I was about to protest when- Oh shit! The Ursa was about to swipe at us while Rainbow's back was turned. So I shot it's face, and it was knocked back again. "Buck! That was close!" Rainbow said with relief. "Rainbow! I can hold this thing off for a while longer, but you have to go get Twilight or Princess Luna!" I yelled as I started firing a constant beam at the bear, slowing it down more. "Better yet... get Princess Celestia." I added as I increased the beam's power. "No way, dude! I can't just leave you here like this!" Rainbow said with a frown. I got a very serious face as I looked her in the eye. "I'll be fine, Dash. I'm going to need them to help me take this thing down, I can't do it myself!" I snapped. "I didn't take you for the heroic type, Dawn..." Rainbow muttered. "I'm not a hero... I'm just the only one standing between this thing and innocent citizens. The guards are helping evacuate this part of town, so I have to fight this thing, alone." I stated firmly. Rainbow gave me a serious look "You know that's not true... I can help you." She said. I could feel my beam getting weaker by the second because of constant firing. "The best way you can help me is to bring us some backup... fast. Besides, that's your thing right? Speed?" I stated with a smirk.

Rainbow gritted her teeth in frustration, the bear started to fight against my beam. I strained to add more power to it but the Ursa kept coming. "Go!" I grunted. Rainbow hesitated for a second then said "You better not die..." before finally taking off into the sky. The Ursa major looked like it was about to jump up and swipe at her, and my horn was way too hot to fire off another laser. So I acted fast and started sprinting at the thing, my magic and adrenaline seemed to enhance my muscles as I rushed the Ursa. The thing was about to jump into the air and snatch Rainbow out of the sky, but I tackled it as hard as I could, causing it to stumble to the ground at the last second, it's paw clipped a single hair on Rainbow's tail. May my shoulder rest in peace, I can't feel my fucking side! Shit! I can't move! The Ursa shook it's head and glared angrily at me. It roared in my face so loud that I thought I was going to go deaf. The Ursa raised it's paw into the air, preparing to crush me, dammit now or never! I side stepped just in time to avoid it's crushing paw.

This is starting to look very bad for me... My chest burns, I can't feel my side and I'm starting to slow down. I realized that my lasers aren't working, I need to either find time to charge them longer or I need to find a weak point on it's body. Honestly, the only thing that stands out on this thing is that big star on it's forehead. Hmmm... Maybe... But that doesn't solve the charging time issue, I can't get more than 5 seconds before this thing starts lumbering at me again. Speaking of lumbering at me... Here it comes! Fuck, I've got to move!

FUCK! My muscles... Are on fire! I'm not going anywhere...
The bear slammed my left side with so much force that I was sent flying head first into the nearest building. I couldn't feel anything for a good 10 seconds afterwards. That's not a good sign... I think I broke something this time. And I have some kind of head injury because I feel blood running down my forehead. OK... That kinda... Fucked up any plans I had for attacking.... Or escaping... because I'm limping right now... Scratch that... Crawling now.... OK I'm fucked...

"Ha ha... I'm gonna die..." I muttered aloud too myself. Thankfully, everypony in the area was long gone thanks to the guards, so at least this wasn't pointless. I have to admit it was stupid of me to tell them not to come back... What the hell gave me so much confidence back there? Did my nuts miraculously triple in size? Well, it doesn't matter now because here I am...losing to a bear... I fucking hate bears, by the way.

The Ursa slowly stomped over to me, I cringed with every step as it's shadow ingulfed me. I couldn't tell at this point but Im pretty sure it's about to step on my face or something. But before anything else could happen, The bear was... Tackled? No, no, no... Thrown... The bear was fucking THROWN a couple hundred feet back? It landed on the outskirts of Ponyville where there were no houses or people to crush. Then Princess Luna descended from the sky and landed next to me. Let me tell you... For once... I'm glad to see her!

"Derrick! Are you alright?" Luna cried out as she ran up to me. I was laying on my right side unable to move because of the pain. "Just say something... Anything!" Luna blurted out desperately. "I can't feel my nuts... Or my hind legs." I managed to say with a weak chuckle. Luna smiled with relief as she snatched me up and hugged me. I groaned loudly in pain "What... what's wrong?" Luna stammered. "Ahh... Put me down, put me down!" I blurted. Luna quickly and carefully set me back on the ground. "You just made whatever I broke... Way worse..." I muttered in annoyance. "Sorry... Just hold still..." Luna said with a nervous smile. She then began to study my injuries closer and worry grew on her face. "How bad is it?" I asked with another painful grunt.

" You broke 3 ribs as well as your left fore and hindleg. You also have a concussion... " Luna said, as she cringed at the sight of me. "OK it's, erg....pretty bad then" I said sadly. "I'm not even going to get into your cuts and bruises... Especially that deep one on your chest." She added. She was about to add something else but she stopped short, she was now staring at one injury in particular. "What?" I asked worriedly. "Y-you have a shard of glass embedded into your side, I have to pull it out..." Luna said grimly. I saw her horn light up and she started pulling the glass out slowly. "Nononono!" I protested as I held in a pained scream and she stopped and looked annoyed at me. "I MUST remove the glass, Derrick... No matter how bad it hurts... " She said bluntly. "I know, I know... j-just w-wait a second..." I said nervously. "I'm going to pull in 3..." Luna warned.

"Whoa just...uh... Wait a second!"

"...2..."

"H-hold on, I'm not ready!"

"...1..."

"For love of god please don't p-"

*YANK*

"..."

I screamed the word "fuck" louder than I've ever screamed before, I had to bite my tongue so I could stop. Luna just tried to keep her composure as she started to heal my other wounds. "Sorry about that, Derrick, but it had to be done." Luna said. "I know... T-thanks" I squeaked faintly. "Unfortunately, that creature is still alive so I can only heal you enough so that you can at least move..." Luna explained with a troubled expression. She's right, I could hear the bear roaring in the background. "Well then, we have to go finish it!" I said with determination. Luna narrowed her eyes "We?" I scoffed "Yes, we! WE are going to go over there and kick that thing's ass!" I said. Luna frowned and shook her head. "No! You must stay here it's not safe!" She said sternly. Oh, HELL NO!!!

"What? Stay here? Fuck no! I wasn't finished with that thing!" I protested.

"Finish it? That creature almost finished YOU! You may be able to move, but you're in no condition to fight! Just stay here!" The Princess snapped. With that she turned and started walking away toward where the bear landed. I frowned and stood up and followed her. We walked a few feet then she angrily turned around.

"I told you to stay put, Derrick! I don't want anything to happen to you! My sister would never forgive me." Luna said with a serious expression.

I just looked at her for a few seconds and continued walking to where the bear landed. Luna watched me pass by and she looked at me like I was insane. "Are you deaf?!? I told you to-" "LUNA!" I blurted making her stop in her tracks.

"Are we going to kill that bear or not?" I stated simply. Luna took a few moments to think before sighing in defeat. Slowly a confident smirk worked its way onto her face, and she started walking forward again.

"Very well then... lets go..."

Author's Notes:

Notes: Hey guys! Blah blah blah excuses.... Blah blah blah delays.... Blah blah blah video games... blah blah blah sorry...

So... I think I broke my record again... I definitely put too much in this chapter... But it's written now so whatevs. I hope you guys enjoyed the first bit of action in the story, from time to time there will be fights in this story. I'd say this is about the extent I'll go as far as describing injuries, because I know some people get sick or whatever the reason is. I'd say I'd like to go the route of comedy, romance, action (in that order)... Because that's my favorite type of movie in real life, They're funny and awkward but shit also blows up from time to time!

Anyways... Our buddy DJ here is in denial... Does he like ponies? He's a bit stubborn though so I don't think he'll really admit it for a while. Nore will he notice the interest Celestia has for him.

If you don't know what an Ursa Major is then there is this wonderful thing that humans have that's called "Google" and there's this neat article on the mlp wiki that explains what it is. To those who DO know what it is, I'm well aware that DJ is only fighting an Ursa Minor, the Major is coming later... And she's gonna be pissed!