Now, when I say freaking the fuck out, I don't mean freaking the fuck out as in 'Oh, I left the oven on at home, guess I'm gonna have to go back.' I mean freaking the fuck out as in 'Oh lord, there are 30 scorpions in my fucking shoes and they have freaking bombs strapped to them.' Ed did what any sensible man would do while freaking the fuck out, he beat them in the heads with a mother fucking table using his super Mexican strength.

The ponies backed up to the wall with bruises and cuts covering their faces. The mentally traumatized Ed was getting ready to swing, when a cum colored pony walked in who was at least twice the size of the normal ponies he brutally beat to near death. He remembered her from the show, it was Celestia. She had the kind of look on her face you get when you're really fucking pissed. Ed dropped the table and pointed a finger at the doctor, who was huddled up in a corner and shaking with fear. "He did it." Ed said bluntly. Celestia didn't fall for it as she made her way towards the main six to comfort them, all while keeping her venomous glare on Ed.

After Celestia tended to the ponies injuries, she sent them on the way to their homes, but stayed behind to talk with Ed. "I can't believe you! These ponies saved your life and this is how you repay them? Swinging tables at their faces? What is your species, a race of morons?" With the last sentence, Ed popped his knuckles and sent a hearty 'I love you too' note to her in the form of a fist to the fucking mouth.

He was surprised how effective that was, considering she was practically the sun god, she was now on her haunches and holding her bleeding jaw in an effort to soothe the pain. "Fuck you too." Ed muttered. He knew after that fiasco, he was a wanted outlaw. No one really takes it kindly when you beat up six of the most powerful people in the country and when you make their god whine in pain. He'd have a lot of explaining to do when the police caught him, he just had to make sure he could hide from them long enough to find a way out of this place.

He heard approaching hoofsteps coming up the stairs and assumed it was likely Celestia's royal guards looking for him. So he went out through the only escape route he could think of, the window. The glass hurt, but the fall wasn't too much. His legs were sore from the crashlanding so he had to limp his way to safety. The forrest wasn't too far, just a little closer... Suddenly, Ed felt a surge of pain through his back as he collapsed to the floor. Someone stabbed him with a spear.

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Ed awoke to the sound of hoofsteps, eight sets of them, he counted in his head. He ignored his body's plea for sleep and began to inspect his surroundings. His fears were confirmed, he had been taken to a dungeon. They also took his t-shirt and put bandages on his back. He guessed maybe they did care about his bad case of spear-to-the-back syndrome. The sound of trotting hooves grew louder and louder and he knew another face-to-face meeting was inevitable. He tried to make himself look as appealing as possible to try and get on their good side, though that might be hard after the events in the hospital.

From around the corner he saw them, the main 6, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Princess Celestia tried to remain optimistic about meeting him, she smiled as wide as she could with her jaw bandages. The main 6 on the other hand were either horrified of his presence or very angry. Luna was the same, no doubt she wanted answers to why a diseased monkey with the fabled strength of the Mexicans was swinging a table at her subjects, and why he had the nerve to punch her dear sister in the jaw.

An awkward silence ensued. "So... Hi?" Ed said awkwardly.

"HOW DARE THOU ATTACK MY SUBJECTS AND HARM MY DEAR SISTER! WHO DOTH THOU THINK THEY ARE?!? Yelled Luna in her royal Canterlot voice. Ed, the ponies and Celestia had covered their ears from the sheer pain it caused.

"Ahem," Celestia said in an effort to calm her sister down. "I believe your actions against us can be justified. You're certainly not a diseased monkey as we first thought you were, but instead something entirely different. May we ask your name?"

"Ed. And I already know yours, no need to tell me."

Twilight cocked an eyebrow, "How do you know our names?" She asked. Ed was unprepared for a long talk explaining what tv is and saying how some guys are probably jerking off to them right now.

"It's complicated..." Ed replied, dodging the question as well as he could.

"Ah, so you are a psychic as well!" Said Celestia.

"No, I'm not a psychic."

This answer only seemed to cause Twilight to ask more questions rather than keep her mouth shut. "I must know how you can read our minds without being a psychic! This can be used for the benefit of-"

"Maybe next time." Interjected Ed.

"If you choose to be so secretive, so be it, you can keep your secrets then, you are also free to leave the dungeon at anytime, we have a guest room prepared for special guests such as yourself. But I still must ask, would you like to join us for royal dinner tonight?" Celestia asked.

The offer surprised Ed, he punched them in her in the face and now she's asking him if he wants dinner? He still wouldn't let down the offer, he was famished. "Sure, why not."

"Great, meet us at the dining hall at six o'clock. We have a wide selection of freshly plucked flowers!" Celestia replied, she sounded almost happy to hear that he said yes. "And here is that strange piece of clothing you wore, sorry about what my guard did to you, you're lucky he was to scared to stab you any deeper, you might have been paralyzed if that went further! A gaurd is waiting for you at the entrance to the dungeon, he will escort you to your room."

'Great,' Ed thought 'I hope they have tacos...'