I was pretty sure I died, but somehow I awoke again laying on a couch.

“Shoot he’s awake” I heard a feminine voice mutter. I turned my head to see a young looking yellow mare with a cow boy hat looking at me.

I tried to barrel roll off the couch and onto my hooves but only ended up hitting my head against a nearby coffee table and blacking out again. The second time I woke up the mysterious mare was right above me, looking at me with a grin.

“You sure can get yourself hurt now can’t you?” She asked with a giggle

“That time it wasn’t my fault” I said, she extended a hoof and I grasped onto it, allowing her to pull me back up onto my hooves.

“Howdy, I’m Brandy” She said “We found you half dead on the trail over there, what happened?”

“Explosion” I said with a smile “My name is Vespi”

“Vespi you awake bro?” Dan called out. I looked over to see him lying on a couch, his body in one piece somehow.

“Where are the guys?” I questioned

“I don’t know” Dan said “I only found you then found this place”

I heard a terse, aggravated, grumpy grunt behind me. I turned around to see an old stallion looking at me with a pair of malevolent eyes.

“I assume you have a reason for what happened, my name is Whiskey Joe”

“Nice to meet you WJ” I said extending a hoof for a good old fashion hoof shake. Apparently Whiskey thought otherwise and stepped back a pace.

“Please don’t call me WJ ye little varmint. So care to explain to us why we found you dying on the trail?”

I cleared my throat “Was in an explosion with my friends… have you seen any other ponies?”

WJ shook his head “Nope, just you. I’d go find your little fellows then, Brandy! Go with these here colts and make sure they doesn’t hurt himself again”

Brandy gave a quick nod “Yes sir”

“And ye!” WJ said pointing a hoof in my direction “Take care of my daughter, ya hear?”

“I hear WJ” I taunted. Before the crabby old red neck could respond Brandy, Dan, and I dashed out the door.

Apparently This WJ and his daughter Brandy live on the farm in Marington. I didn’t really know what direction to go in, until I saw a piece of debris from the Super Squeezy whatever the fuck it was called laying on top of a once perfect white fence.

“What is that from?” Brandy asked curiously

“The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6 Thousand” I murmured “We were riding on it when there was an…unexpected explosion”

“Interesting back story” Brandy said

We followed the trail and discovered more and more debris from the once proud looking red train. The entire way my emotions were in a frenzy once again. Were my friends dead? Were thy alive? Why am I a pony? Is that a truffle or dog poo?

“So where are y’all from?” Brandy asked. I couldn’t help but feel surprised about the difference between Brandy and her father Whiskey Joe. Whiskey seemed like a 100% cracker like white trash. Brandy on the other hand a type of cowmare appeal to her, with her cowboy hat and wavy blond hair.

“O me, I’m from a little place called Ponyville? Me and my friends were actually going there right now” I lied. Well what the hell was I supposed to tell her? “O yea I’m actually from a different species huh huh”  

“Interesting, me and ma pa have lived here for our entire lives, we are farmers by the way if you hadn’t noticed” Brandy said

“Who else lives in Marington?” I asked

“Vespi, they only live in Marington, it is almost abandoned” Dan explained

(Audio version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhGB7sd5Bjw)

“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!” I screamed, I knew it wasn’t the most appropriate thing but you know, not a good thing when you’re trying to get to some sort of civilization.

“Interesting, o my god-“ Dan was going to continue the conversation a little bit more but I saw Mike and the others standing by a burnt out fire.

“Vespi we thought you’d die!” Mike said. I didn’t respond but rather just punched him in the face

“Okay…I deserve that one” Mike said with a wince

“What happened to you guys, how’d you survive?” I asked

“Luck, in fact you’re the only two who actually went flying like a cannon ball, the rest of us just barrel rolled out at the last second without telling you”

“Thanks” I said “Come on let’s get back before Whiskey Joe flips his shit”

I was relieved to see all my friends in one piece; Whiskey Joe on the other hand was not.

“What do y’all expect me to feed 6 more mouths because y’all just had an accident because y’all are too stupid to know fire from a heap of oil?” He said in a pugnacious voice

“I don’t know Y’ALL” Mike began to taunt “but Y’ALL better find a way so Y’ALL can feed us, Y’ALL”

Whiskey Joe gave a frown, I thought he would walk over and just pimp slap Mike right then and now.

“Fine follow me you 6, if you want some food you got to earn it”

The next thing I know I am given a cowboy hat and am pushed out into a field with my friends near a tractor and barked at like I was at Marine boot camp.

“So this is how you work the tractor…” WJ began

“Bro we know how to use a tractor, we’ll handle this” Mike said. WJ began to walk away and a sudden sense of doom fell on me; Mike was unsupervised with heavy machinery.

“Mike I think I should drive the tractor” I said

“Relax I’ve played Grand Theft Auto before, I got this” Mike said confidently. He pulled a gear and the tractor went steaming off towards the woods.

“O SHIT” Nico cursed, chasing after the tractor. Mike chose not to be responsible (As usual) and jumped out of the tractor just as it hit the trees and exploded into a massive firework display.

Just in time for WJ to walk out with some lemonade

“WHAT THE SAM HELL HAS YOU YUPPIES DONE!?” He screamed

There was a sullen silence…

“Sowwwwwwwwy” Mike said

Whiskey Joe was pissed off as hell but at leastly we would still get a couple days’ worth of food, but now we had to use a manual plow. Basically 1 of the 6 of us (He originally had 7 but he sold the 6 to buy a tractor) would attach it to ourselves and go across the field time and time again over and over again. It wasn’t fun, so what do we do? Make a game out of it.

“Alright so I dare you to run head first into that tree” Tyler dared

“Why would I do that?” I asked

“Do it or you have to pull the plow” Tyler said. I  gave a look of uncertainty then ran straight first into a massive oak tree; flopping around a little bit before getting back up and cursing, peer pressure and concussions all around!

“Okay Dan it’s your turn” I said “I dare you to eat those mysterious possibly poisonous berries”

Dan actually looked like he was going to give up, but he finally reluctantly walked over and ate a hoof full of berries, which would probably kill him sooner or later.

“Okay…Nico” Dan began, stopping in the middle of his dare to add suspense (And to spit out the foam forming in his mouth) “I dare you to go slap Brandy on the ass- I mean flank.”

Everyone began to go “Oooooooooooooooo”

“Damn Dan! You are pretty good at this game” Tyler said with a bro hoof. Nico gave out a gulp, do the dare or do a hell of a lot of work? Dare it is. I swore for a moment I saw Nico smile, but I guess I was wrong.

Nico smartly waited until WJ walked inside and began to slowly go nearer and nearer to Brandy. She was painting the side of her barn alone. In the brush behind me were my 5 friends, anxiously waiting for the big moment. Nico gave one last gulp and finally came as close as possible, he raised my hoof and it landed on her rump, emitting a loud “Thrawk” noise. She instantly jumped up and gave him a look of surprise; fortunately she didn’t hit me or scream.

“It was a dare ” he said

He then managed to leave the shocked Brandy where she stood and returned to my friends.

“So…” I said towards Nico

“Props” My friends all said in unison

“Thanks guys” Nico said with a smile.

At the end of the day Nico was still…fucked. Somehow everyone managed to pull of their dares (Even Conor who was very anti peer pressure) and Nico was left with an impossible dare. In the end Nico just said fuck it and had to plow the entire farm. I doubt even Nico could even tie his wings behind his back, ignite himself on fire, and jump off the barn before he got hurt. Fortunately by the time we picked the worker it looked like a tornado was about to hit.

“I think we’ll just leave you here for now…” Mike said

“Come on guys!” He wailed. But it was to no avail, we were already running inside the house for safety and leaving me in the midst of a storm still not done with the workload.

“O my god we need a camera for this!” Mike said giggling, in the background a massive storm was brewing. In the middle of it all was a black blotch (Nico) standing out on the farm, but he was ACTUALLY WORKING.

“Wow” I stated “Nico is actually working”

“Wow” Mike said “Props to him”

“Fuck”

Fuck work Nico wasn’t going to get sucked up into a tornado. He dropped the sleigh where it was and rushed towards the house, so much for hard work. He looked very relieved when he finally plopped up the stairs and rammed into the door. Mike had locked it! I could feel the wind intensifying (Through the door) and behind Nico it must have been even worse. The last thing he wanted to do was be not in there, so he began to claw at the door like a desperate animal. He went on for 5 minutes only for Brandy to notice the claw marks. She just laughed (Although it was almost inaudible from behind the door) and left Nico to my fate. Sexual harassment still doesn’t work out in Equestria!

Fuck I said, not in despair but in awe. Nico looked around and realized the only other structure in a 10 mile radius was the barn. It was better than nothing. He quickly galloped (Huh huh get it? He’s a horse) inside and closed the red and white door behind him.

“We better go after him” I said

“No man comes on!” Mike said

“Come on, WJ doesn’t look too happy at you anyways” I said, motioning to the grouch from behind.

“Fine let’s go then” Mike said, unlocking the door.

The inside of the barn seemed rather dry, to my inspection there were no leaks, only the smell of cow poo and cow. I rested there for a moment before opening the door at the other end of the barn. When I stepped out it was raining, hard. Did you ever play Left for Dead 2, in the Hard Rain campaign? Well it is possible for rain to hurt, this rain stung like a bitch.

I immediately began to bat at my hooves and ran back inside the barn. I noticed through one of the windows of the barn was Mike idly standing near Brandy. I began to scream and shout, if it wasn’t for the rain I would have just smashed the

window in. Brandy gave a nervous look to Mike and began to trot away; Mike turned around and opened the window.

“WHAT?” He shouted over the downpour of rain

“WHY ARE YOU INSIDE!?”  I questioned. I looked around and counted, the battered and wet Nico was in the corner drying himself off and the other 4 of us were here. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKE!?”

“WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT!?”

“CAN YOU OPEN THE FRONT DOOR? THE RAIN STINGS” I shouted back

“REALLY?” Mike asked in curiosity. He gave a look back before jumping out the window and into the fusillade of rain. I couldn’t help but laugh at Mike’s facial expression when he felt the rain for the first time. He tried climbing back into the window but couldn’t manage and then gave up and ran into the barn.

“The rain hurts am I right?” I asked

“Yea it hurts” Mike said with a grimace “How do we get back into the house?”

“Good question” Nico said “Brandy saw me but locked the door”

“I wonder why” Mike said with a giggle

“Bro it was a DARE!” Nico protested

I was about to respond with a smart ass remark but I heard the roar of an engine from behind the back door. I turned my head to hear an object glide on mud and then smash into the barn door. It was a Humvee, inside was Ayan the juggernaut.

“Ayan, what are you doing?” I asked; looking at the gaping hole in the barn, which was only partially covered by the overturned Humvee.

“Sneak….attack” He said, dying in Mike’s hooves.

“Okay that was…something” Mike said, staring at the hole as well.

I turned my head to see a yellow blur run out the door and dash into he barn behind us.

“Shoot what was that?” Brandy asked while repositioning her dampened cowboy hat

“Yea this isn’t our fault” Nico said, trying to not act awkward

“Yea this Humvee just crashed into your barn…don’t ask” Mike said

“Shoot my pa is going to kill me!” Brandy said

“Meh it isn’t that noticeable” Nico said. Yea Nico, a giant overturned Humvee wasn’t noticeable.

“Who’s that?” Brandy asked; pointing towards the dead heap of metal that once was Ayan in a juggernaut suit.

“Don’t ask” Mike said with a wave of the hoof “Wait, did your dad lock the door when you left?”

“I don’t think so” Brandy said

Mike gave her a “Hang on” look and ran into the storm. I looked from the nearest window to see Mike run towards the door, I saw him open his mouth a little bit, and then he vanished. The bastard got back inside!

“I guess the door is open” I said, I gave a couple deep breaths before opening the door and making a dash for it. I looked into the sky for a split second only to see a boulder falling from the sky. It was coming right at me…it was a cow.

I felt a sudden blast of wind hit me that was followed by the cow. It knocked the wind out of me and sent me flying back into the barn. The cow itself was lodged in the door.

I felt myself begin to black out again; I couldn’t breathe and felt paralyzed. I looked up to see Brandy trying to open the door, but to no avail. I stumbled up to help her but our combined strength wasn’t enough to open the door. We were trapped.

“Shoot we’re trapped” Brandy exclaimed

“Can we get out the window?” I questioned

“These little things?” Brandy asked with an amused face, the windows I hate to admit were smaller than a bread basket.

“O” I said embarrassed

I looked back through the window that was right by the house. I had the sudden realization my friend and WJ were probably now bunkered down in the basement, not noticing 6 ponies were missing. We’d be stuck here until daylight at leastly, and considering that it just got dark out (From the fact there is a tornado right outside) we could be trapped in here for some time.

“So I guess we are all stuck in here for a while huh?” Brandy observed

“Yup” I said in a shy voice “So now what?”

“I don’t know…” Brandy said. The awkwardness of this situation was almost unbearable. If only Nico didn’t do that dare…

“SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Nico” Tyler began “what ya doing?”

“Nothing much” Nico said “Standing here, soaking wet”

I didn’t know how to relieve myself from the massive boredom I was about to get. All I knew is I was stuck in this red and white barn house with a tornado right behind the door. I tried moving the Humvee out of the way but it was no use, we were trapped.

“Do you need a towel Nico?” Brandy questioned reluctantly, she went into a chest in the corner and pulled out an old looking towel, throwing it at Nico.

“Want something to drink?” Brandy asked turning around to the rest of us

“Sure….what do you have?” I asked

“My dad likes to keep some refreshments out here ‘just in case’” Brandy said. She walked over to a pile of hay and began to dig inside of it. After a couple minutes of digging like a mole she came out with a 6 pack.

“Whiskey Joe is a wise stallion” I joked; I grabbed a beer and twisted the cap until I heard a satisfying sound. I looked down and took a swig, alcohol tasted well!

While Brandy was sampling her own beer I noticed a ladder on the other side of the room near Ayan’s corpse and chose to climb up it. I realized that the ladder was for the 2nd floor, which had a nice view of the first floor, and outside. There was a larger than average window (I could fit through it but it was pretty high up and I’d end up getting killed) with a perfect view of the farm. I sat down near it and just stared out slowly savored my beer. I thought about trying to fly onto the roof then back down, but I realized I’d be nearly impossible to fly in the middle of a twister (Especially with rain that hurts like a bitch). I was so preoccupied I almost didn’t notice Dan and Tyler coming by and sit down next to me.

“So, how about the weather?” Tyler asked

I gave out a chuckle “Pretty crazy” I didn’t know the time but I had to guess it was maybe 7 or 8

“Dude you got to listen to me” Tyler said “I was listening to Nico and Brandy talking and I think Brandy has a thing for Nico!”

“Really?” I asked, I couldn’t really imagine it considering Nico had- or….ooooo I see!

“Shhhh there talking” Dan said, he went over by the ladder and hid himself from plain sight right behind the wood. From below I could see Nico and Brandy sitting by a bale of hay. Conor was in the corner trying something with the door.

“Yea” I heard Brandy mumble “So…what were you guys playing truth or dare over?”

Nico cringed; he took a swig of beer and said in a sturdy voice “o well you know who would plow the farm and all…”

“Y’all couldn’t just work together?” Brandy asked

“Guys don’t work together” Nico said

“Interesting tale” She said eyeing her empty beer bottle

“Well I’m going to go to sleep and wait till this passes over” Brandy said, her hooves creaking on the wooden floor “Night”

“Night” Nico responded, finally emptying my beer bottle. He finally went up the ladder on the opposite side of the room (Two ladders are better than one!) and went up to the other window stationed on the other side.

“Shhhh” Tyler said, stealthily jumping into a pile of hay, Dan hid in the darkened corner and I hid right by the bale of hay. Maybe something would happen, maybe something wouldn’t, but it was better than nothing.

Time passed, maybe an hour or two, before I finally got bored and wanted to go to sleep. At this point it was getting dreadfully cold and there was a wind. It was obvious that Nico’s necessity now was a blanket. He looked high and low for a blanket, but to no avail. Meanwhile we watched in anticipation. It took sometime but eventually he realized the only blanket was on top of Brandy! Nico didn’t want to steal (Didn’t God say something about that?) but he didn’t have a choice. He slowly trotted up to where she was soundly sleeping and managed to slide the blanket off of her. Meanwhile I and my friends were stifling our laughter; Conor at the moment was asleep by the wall near the barn door.

He quickly snatched it then found a nice warm clump of hay and laid down for a nice comfortable nap.

I wasn’t sure how long he was sleeping for when Brandy gave him a sharp tap to the ribs. He awoke to Brandy right above him with an accusing look in her face.

“Nico, did you steal my blanket?” She asked

He looked down at the blanket then back up to her “I didn’t even know you had a blanket” he said in my most truthful voice, it didn’t work.

“Sure you didn’t” She said with a giggle. She tried to grab the blanket but Nico was already expecting it and snatched it up and brought it close to him before she could grab it. She tried to steal it away from him again but he brought it up close to him and she fell down (Almost on top of him) onto the pile of hay. I  turned to see Tyler’s mouth 100% ajar.

Nico’s Point of View (Sex INBOUND)

“Sorry but I’m keeping this blanket for the night” I said. Life was like a grenade, sometimes it is a dud and sometimes it blows up in your face. Just don’t always expect a dud. Here I am, just doing what any other bro would do in my position and this is my treatment!

“Like hay you are, its cold enough with the blanket!” She said

“Exactly, I’ll give it to you tomorrow” I said, nuzzling up against the surprisingly warm hay, even with the towel (Which I kept) and the blanket it was still chilly. Sadly none of the windows had glass. Where was Vespi, Dan and Tyler? They must all be asleep. Conor was already fast asleep in the corner.

“Fine give me some blanket then, I’m freezing my flank off” Brandy said, laying down by me part of me wanted to act 14 and recoil back (You know, not gay but still only 14) but the majority of me wanted her to come closer (The 21 part of me, the 100% of me)

I gave it a moment’s thought and agreed “Sure I guess”

I allowed her to go under the blanket and nuzzle up against me…my body heat must of skyrocketed because I didn’t need the blanket anymore.

“Warm enough?” I asked, like a baws

“Yea, thanks” She said, like a baws

***

“Hey WJ is Vespi and Brandy and the guys still trapped in the barn?” Mike asked, looking over into the barn, fearing his friends was freezing to death. But Mike was still Mike, time to start something.

“Yea, I hope the fellers are alright.” WJ said

“You know, Vespi kind of likes Brandy” Mike said stifling his giggle. Mike was an expert liar, a sap like this didn’t have a chance.

WJ turned around with a half-surprised half-livid face

"Y'all don't say" WJ said in his gruff voice

“O yea” Mike said with a wave of the hand “I think she likes him back too, what do you think there doing?”

“I’m sure there….fine” WJ said trying to hide his doubt.

“There fine”

***

I couldn’t go to sleep now, mainly because the farmer’s daughter was right up beside me while we were trapped in a barn for the night.

My main fear was getting a boner and freaking her out...that would be the 2nd worst case scenario. The worst case scenario would be if I had a wet dream and got my baby gravy all over her. Or even worse, Tyler came over and started something! I never knew there were so many worries in stuff like this…the last thing I want was to be a dad, but it wasn’t like we were going to have sex or anything…

I couldn’t really go to sleep, so I tried to provoke a conversation.

“Hey…Brandy are you awake?” I whispered, looking around the dark room praying that Tyler and the others were asleep.

There was a moment of silence before she responded “Yea I can’t sleep myself”

She gave a little yarn and moved a little closer to me; I felt the warm blanket shift positions on top of me.

“Hey…uh Nico” Brandy asked, I shifted positions to look her eye to eye, for some reason she still had her hat on “do you have a…you know…mare friend or anything?”

O shit now what? “No” I replied “Do you have a…you know… colt friend or anything?”

“No” She responded, things got quiet again

“So…” I said I had the strange feeling that Brandy was attracted to me; it was making more and more sense. I doubt there would be a mare/women alive who wouldn’t scream “Rape” or something like that if you slapped them on the ass. How should I do this?

“What do you think the others are doing?” I asked, I moved a little closer to her and felt her soothing body heat against mine. Hopefully Brandy’s assurance could kill my fear of Tyler screaming “RAPE” or “P LOTT” or something on those lines.

“I’m not sure…” Brandy said, I thought she was going to add something to her statement so I turned to her so we could be face to face. I did meet her face to face, I just didn’t expect our faces to be that close.

We just looked at each other for a moment, Brandy’s face was visible because of the moons light (The winds had died down and the tornado had subsided) and her blonde hair looked almost magical.

I admit I was pretty nervous “Do I have something in my teeth?” I blabbed nonsensically, that was the moment when you wish the grenade (Life) was a dud.

“No” She said, it wasn’t a moment shattering voice but rather a sweet seductive voice. I didn’t know really what to say to that and fortunately I didn’t have to, I felt her lips come up to mine and we kissed.

Now that is how a baws does it!

We kissed for a while before I felt Brandy’s little hoof rubbing up against my haunch, there was nothing that could ruin this moment. When I went to look out onto the farm in a lull in the love I saw in the corner, you guessed it, Mike looking at me through the window. Was he creeping? Fuck it I don’t care.

“Ready?” I asked in my own seductive voice

“O SHIT TYLER WHAT THE FUCK MAN!” Vespi cried out, I turned around to see flames igniting from a bale of hay. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brandy got up sluggishly, grabbed a pail of water and walked sloth-like over to the brewing fire. She tossed it on the fire, exterminating it completely before slapping Tyler, kicking Dan and punching Vespi in the face; he eventually fell backwards and fell off the ladder, landing on the floor next to the ladder.

“GO TO SLEEP YE VERMIN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!” Brandy shouted. Well looks like that grenade was a dud! Or well…an explosion for Vespi (Who laid on the floor unconscious).

“So where were we?” Brandy asked, getting under the blanket once again, this time grinding up against me.

“o….uh…. Ready?” I asked nervously

“You know it” Brandy said

“THE FIRE WORKS!” I moved my head to see Tyler by another fire.

“I’ll deal with him” I said

“Forget him” Brandy said seductively “Deal with me”

Sex is a lot like using a broom. It is simple to learn but impossible to master. I didn’t know a lot about it (besides…the internet) but that didn’t discourage me from ramming my boner inside of her. It didn’t take long to realize why everyone looked forward to sex; I felt a surge of pleasure seethe through my penis as I constantly thrust my pelvis. For the moment my mind almost felt like it was shutting down from the stunning pleasure. I didn’t even care that Tyler was about to burn the entire farm down.

Brandy herself looked like she was enjoying her first taste of sex. Every time I entered her she jumped and she was drooling all over the hay (There were other fluids on the hay as well). I didn’t count the time and was praying that things would stay like this. Every moment felt like heaven. After a little bit I could hear Brandy’s moans get louder and faster I knew she was coming soon. So I picked up the pace, I was coming near too I could feel-

“NICO GET SOME WATER!” Vespi shouted, I looked behind me to see half the barn up in flames.

(More audio version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50a2A-UAVq0)

“Forget him” Brandy said, still in the mood

Life is throwing out duds it seems.

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