I woke up, laying half propped up against the barn wall. At my hoof was a claw hammer and a couple loose nails. The wall had been hastily repaired with some spare planks we found lying in the corner.

I knew trying to make a signaling fire would be a bad idea. But Tyler thought otherwise.

I got up and stretched and scanned the room, Dan had fallen asleep before me and was just waking up from a pile of hay. Tyler was already awake it seems.

“Hey Tyler” I said, I felt my face and grimaced. Why the hell did Brandy just randomly punch me? I could of died from that fall! Speaking of Brandy, where was Nico?

“Hey Vespi check this out” Tyler said, giving me a motion to follow. I stealthily walked past Dan (Who was trying to get back to sleep) towards the ladder. At first Tyler gave out one of his laughs and I laughed as well….even though I didn’t see anything. But then I saw it, Nico was asleep in a hay bail. Next to him was Brandy.

“No way…” I said in awe. I knew Nico was somewhere, but in the night time confusion I had lost track of him. After Tyler ignited the wall on fire (Which we had to repair on the fly) the idea was already out of my head. But here Nico was, snuggled up against the farmer’s daughter.

“Dude….get Dan” Tyler said, I scurried back to the makeshift wall and shook Dan vigorously

“Dude, see this right now” I said, almost dragging him to where Tyler was. When Dan saw Nico though, he jumped right up.

“No. Way.” Dan said, trying to control his laughter

“What should we do?” Tyler asked

“I don’t know, I don’t want to get punched by Brandy again” I stated

“You deserved that! You started a fire!” Tyler said

“Tyler, you wanted to make a god damn signaling fire to Mike!” I said. I always expected Tyler to have some sort of a pyromaniac side.

“Whatevs” Tyler said “Let’s get something to eat though I’m starving”

We all quickly went down the ladder and pushed the door open, fortunately with our combined strength we could get the door half-way open. Good enough.

I looked outside and studied the damage,

Field: Fine

Fences: Fine

Barn: Fine (Except where we almost burned the barn down)

House: Fine

Some tornado…it didn’t even do any damage! I wonder where the cow came from then? All the tornado left was mud and twigs scattered across the boundaries where the farmland met the tree line.

“I wonder what Mike was doing the entire night” Dan asked, opening the unlocked door. How nice, Mike must of unlocked it before going to bed in a nice warm and comfortable house. I had to admit in hindsight, the barn was awful for sleep. It was cold, drafty, and the roof leaked (Which wasn’t surprising since we accidently burned half the roof off).

“Knock Knock” I joked, opening the flimsy door. Mike was lounging on one of the couches, his hooves up on the coffee table. In his hand (Hoof?) was a piece of toast.

“What I miss?” He asked with a pompous smile. He picked up his cup of orange juice and took a sip.

“Nico and Brandy” Tyler said. Mike spat out the orange juice, getting it all over Tyler.

“Surprised?” Dan asked

“What they do?” Mike asked, half stunned and half impressed.

“I don’t know, come take a look.” I said, Mike shoved the entire piece of toast in his mouth (The ENITRE piece of toast) and got up following us out the door into the barn. With another group effort we pushed the barn door open the other way. Conor was still asleep in the corner, peacefully napping by the door.

Nico and Brandy were still asleep as well, both looking peaceful as ever in the bale of hay.

“NO FUCKING WAY!” Mike said

Nico finally began to stir, one eye opening to see who the intruder was. When he saw it was Mike (And the emotion on his face) it looked as though Nico was shattered.

“O hey guys” Nico said nonchalantly “How’s it going?”

“Bro how is it going with you!?” Mike said “Did you guys do it!?”

“O uhhhhh, kind of” Nico said, avoiding all eye contact.

“YOU DID! YOU DID! O MY GOD BRO!” Mike said “YOU ARE MY NEW IDOL!”

Brandy finally woke up with the same expression Nico had only moments ago.

“What are y’all talking about?” She asked, repositioning her cowboy hat (Did she wear that through the night 0_0?)

“So how was it Nico? Tell us all about it” Mike said

“Mike not now, please” Nico said, still almost asleep.

“Okay don’t worry we will give you two love birds some alone time” Mike said, walking towards the door. Tyler and Dan followed him back inside, but for the hell of it, I was curious on how this was going to work out. WJ probably wasn’t going to be cool with this; also I was curious on how Nico would react to this. I ran up against the inside window and put my ear up against it, I could already hear the two talking.

“So….what do we do now?” Nico asked

“Breakfast?” Brandy asked

“Okay, but listen Brandy. My friends and I got to go to Ponyville and all….and I don’t think you can just leave the farm and come with us.”

“I understand” Brandy said “How do you think my daddy will react?”

“Are you going to tell him?” Nico inquired

“No” Brandy said

“O….okay then” Nico said

I though the conversation was going to end there, but Brandy leaned in and gave Nico a kiss

“I guess I’ll always remember last night, even though y’all are not around. If you’re ever in Marington again though…feel free to visit” Brandy said

“Cool” Nico said “I’ll always remember last night too I guess…that feeling and all. Like when yo-“

Okay I had the feeling this was going to get graphic, I peeked back and headed for the door. Mike, Tyler, and Dan though were all standing outside.

“What’s going on?” I asked

“WJ locked us out, the retard that he is” Mike muttered

“Go around and try the back” Dan offered. Right then Brandy and Nico headed out of the barn.

I followed orders and trotted to the back of the house, Nico and Brandy following me.

“So…………….” I said “Had fun last night?”

“Stop it”  Brandy ordered

“Sorry just curious, looked like you had fun” I joked again

“Vespi stop” Nico said in a stern demeanor

“Relax, just joking with her” I said, I twisted the door knob but it swung open. WJ was staring right at me; in his levitational grasp was an old looking double-barrel shotgun. EQUESTRIANS HAVE GUNS!? I studied the gun in an instant, noticing it’s elderly appearance and beaten down condition.

“Brandy get inside” WJ ordered

“But daddy-“ Brandy began

“INSIDE NOW!” WJ ordered, Nico looked like he was going to object but when Brandy scurried inside it was already too late.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let y’all on my farm! I knew something was going to happen in-between y’all!”

“But please sir I can explain-“ Nico said

“BUT NOTIN!” WJ shouted, loading the shotgun with two shells. Along the side of the barrel were numerous other bullets tied to the gun. “Nico I’ll give y’all and extra head start”

“Wait I can….wait what!?” Nico asked

“Wait what did I do?” I shouted, here I was, a shotgun in my face. The kid next to me though gets an extra head start…racism?

“You touched my little girl!” WJ shouted

“…..no I didn’t”

“Yes you did son don’t lie to me! Your friend Mike told me” WJ shouted, getting even angrier, wait what did Mike do? O you got to be kidding me!

WJ sent off a warning shot, high into the air. But even before that I was off, running down the alley way in-between the red barn and the house.

“HES GOT A GUN! HES GOT A GUN!” Nico and I screamed, WJ chasing us down the small pathway.

“Wait what?” Mike said, turning around to see the fiasco.

Conor popped his head through the door “What did I miss?”

A third shot rang out, destroying some of the barn.

“RUNNNNNNNNNNNN!” Dan said, taking off down the hill.

WJ would never out run us that was for sure, but his gun at more reach then was necessary. We made a dash to the left across the field. From behind I could hear more shots going off. I was running behind the rest and the shots were all directed towards me, one shot exploded right by my hoof, sending dirt flying. Another flew right by my ear, almost grazing it.

I looked back for a split second, WJ was still chasing us but his age was getting the better of him and we were losing

him fast. The shots were going wider and wider and softer and softer. We were safe!

We were now back in the forest though but instantly we found a trail and followed it.

“So Nico, I’m serious here and all, what does sex feel like.”

Nico gave out an exhale “Do you know that Lonely Island song? Think of that.”

“Please just sing it Nico PLEASE!” Tyler begged

“Why would I sing the song?” Nico asked

“Pleassssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” Tyler begged

“Fine” Nico said, he turned to me “Can you help me out?”

I smiled “Why not”

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob=av3e)

Sometimes (Oooooh)

Something beautiful happens

In this world (Akon- I MEAN VESPI)

You don't know how to

Express yourself so (and Niiiiiiiiico!)

You just gotta sing

I just had sex

And it felt so good (Felt so good)

A woman let me put

My penis inside of her

I just had sex

And I'll never go back (Never go back)

To the not-having-sex

Ways of the past

Have you ever had sex?

I have it felt great

It felt so good

When I did it with my penis

A girl let me do it

It literally just happened

Having sex can make a nice

Man out of the meanest

Never guess where I just came from

I had sex

If I had to describe the feeling

It was the best

When I had the sex

Man my penis felt great

And I called my parents

Right after I was done

Oh hey, didn't see you there

Guess what I just did?

Had sex, undressed

Saw her boobies and the rest

Was sure nice of her to let you

Do that thing

Nice of any girl ever

Now sing

I just had sex

And it felt so good (Felt so good)

A woman let me put

My penis inside of her

I wanna tell the world

To be honest I'm surprised

She even wanted me to do it

Doesn't really make sense

But man, screw it

I ain't one to argue

With a good thing

She could be my wife

That good?

The best 30 seconds of my life (My life)

I'm so humbled by girls ability

To let me do her

Cuz honestly I'd have sex

With a pile of manure

With that in mind

The soft, nice smelling girls better

Cuz she let me wear

My chain and turtle neck sweater

So this one's dedicated to them girls

That let us flop around on top of them

If you're near or far

Whether short or tall

We wanna thank you all

For letting us fuck you

She kept looking at her watch

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

But I cried the whole time

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

I think she might've been a racist

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

She put a bag on my head

(Still counts)

I just had sex (Sex)

And all my dreams came true (Dream came true)

So if you had sex in the last

30 minutes then you're qualified

To sing with me

I just had sex (Everybody sing)

And it felt so good (We all had sex)

A woman let me put

My penis inside of her (I wanna tell the world)

I just had sex

And I'll never go back (No no no)

To the not-having-sex

Days of the past

By the end of the song I was tired and dehydrated. All the time Mike, Dan, Conor, and Tyler gave me their best “WTF” faces and were plain stunned.

“You only had sex for 30 seconds?” Mike asked

“No it’s just the song, she wasn’t a racist either, and I think she liked it too” Nico stated, trying to undo the imperfections of the Lonely Island song.

“That is…interesting” Dan said still maintaining a blank face

We continued to march down the trail and Nico ended up answering at leastly 100 questions about sex.

“So she is pregnant?” Mike would constantly ask

“No she isn’t, I heard something about magic birth control” Nico said

“You sure?” Mike questioned again “You are pretty forgetful”

“Relax” Nico said “Besides that was more or less like a sextorial”

Mike just gave a nod and continued walking. In time the questions became sparser and sparser before they finally ceased.

The day was still beautiful and it was the perfect combination of spring like and fall like. That is probably why we walked for so long and tried to walk all night. It was just so beautiful out you didn’t want to close your eyes and sleep.

“So how close are we to Marington?” Mike asked

“Like an hours walk I guess” Nico said “I’m too tired to go tonight though, let’s sleep and do it tomorrow”

“That’s what she said!” I heard Tyler call from his sleeping position off to my left.

“Shut the fuck up” Nico said, Nico usually doesn’t curse, only when it isn’t necessary…even though it was necessary now.

I finally closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, waiting for the next day.

Next Chapter: When Africanized Beavers Attack Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 27 Minutes