“I spy with my eye something that is…green!”

“A tree”

“I spy with my eye something that is orange!”

“A leaf”

“I spy with my eye something that is black!”

“My mane”

“I spy with my little eye something-“

“Okay this is beginning to suck ass” I complained. We were nearing ever closer to the farming community of Marington, but we still had a day of walking ahead. We were all bored and tired but had no will to lie down and rest.

Everything was dull and aggravating until we heard Mike curse in a hushed tone:

“Hey guys look at this!” He said, motioning towards a small opening in the forest. Inside this small opening was some sort of a car with two stallions standing right by it.

“So hey there” Tyler said. I turned around to see Tyler already casually trotting towards him. If Tyler had a perk I’d obvious be “Social Butterfly”.

“Well hello there fellow I’m Flim and this is Flam” one said, he was lanky and wore a barber hat and shirt. He had a flimsy looking mustache and red hair.

“AND WE ARE THE FLIM FLAM BROTHERS-“ I cringed, they were about to sing. I hated musicals; fortunately Mike was ahead of me.

“Sing and I am going to kick you in the dick!” He threatened. Both hushed up fast.

“Okay then how can we help you 6 fine gentlecolts today?” Flim asked

“Is this the way to Marington?” I asked. I was pretty sure it was the way, but getting a confirmation would be a huge relief.

“It sure is but believe me there isn’t much in Marington; Just a farm; why would you like to go to Marington anyways!?” Flam asked

I cursed, Marington and another town’s populations overlapped on the map, I thought the desolate town was the other one, I guess I was wrong.

“O we are heading across the country and we don’t have a car so we got to walk” I said

“Shame to hear that my good friend but I may have interesting news for you” He said. He immediately got my attention, then when I saw him turn to Mike and my interest was lost.

“Colt I couldn’t help but notice you have ugly orange hair that makes you look like a carrot!” He said

“Fuck you say to me PUNK” Mike said in a belligerent voice. The last time I heard that voice was when Mike would try and piss off his French Teacher Mr. Lleneve, good guy…for a Frenchmen.

“Well what if we told you we could magically turn that carrot orange hair into any type of hair you want!?” Flim asked

“Well…can you turn it black?” Mike asked

“For fucks sake stop trying to turn into Eminem!” I said

“Relax” Mike said quietly “So can you turn my orange hair into black hair?”

“Well of course son, say yes again and you will have luxurious black hair!” Flam said; aiming his unicorn at Mike

“Okay yes?” Mike asked

An aura of tan yellow light shot from Flam’s horn and hit Mike. The 2nd the magic aftermath subsided Mike had black hair.

“Thanks guys!” Mike said “Does it stay black?”

“You bet so! It will stay black through rain, snow, sleet and anything Mother Nature throws at you!” Flim said in a glib fashion.

“Now what?” I asked

“GET TO THE MAGIC TRAIN THING!” Mike shouted. Mike punched both unicorns at the same time and jumped on the train…thing. I instantly followed and we drove off before either of the Flim Flam brothers could respond.

“Wait so why’d we do that?” Nico asked

“Why wouldn’t we do that, I’m Vinyl Mix BITCHES” Mike said

“Okay then…anyone wants apple cider?” Tyler asked. I turned around to see Tyler with a mug of apple cider; I looked down into a hole in the floor to see a room filled to the rim with apple cider.

“Now I know why it is called the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6 Thousand” Conor stated

“No shit Sherlock” I said, I found a nearby mug and filled it with the apple cider. I gave a quick swig and let out a cough

“I think this stuff is alcoholic” I observed

“So what we’re all 21!” Nico said. I looked up towards Nico, as soon as i looked towards him his facial expression changed, he had done something wrong.

“What did you say?” I said with a suspicious gaze in my eye.

“I ummmm found these in the saddle pack” Nico said, pulling out a couple of laminated cards. I looked to see one labeled “Vespi” with a picture of me on it. All  the others had similar cards with their human first names on them.

“Cool” Tyler said, instantly refilling his cup.

“Wait why?” I asked “Why are we 21 all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know, was bored, also wanted to tell you your friend Harrison is apparently alive again.” It said, seriously?

“Wait what?” Mike asked

“Yea, look behind you” It giggled, it sounded more devious and maniacal then light-hearted, even though it must have been light-hearted.

I turned around to see a truck following us down the road, on a 50 Cal on the back was Ayan in his juggernaut suit.

“What the fuck! We killed him!” Dan screamed. This is what I would expect out of Harrison, we shoot him (By accident) and he somehow resurrects, finds a Humvee, and comes after us for some reason.

“I AM BACK!” Ayan screamed “I AM A GOD! GIVE ME ALL YOUR VIRGINS!”

I dropped my saddle pack on the ground and grabbed the red tiger crossbow. I stuffed a bolt down the barrel and aimed it at Ayan. It was difficult to get it in (Especially in the confusion at the moment) but after a little bit I got it in correctly and aimed straight for  the driver.

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6 Thousand jumped over a small bump and the bolt went wide and hit the armor plating supporting the gun. Ayan fired off a round of 50. Cal ammo at us with devastating results, bullets caused the nearby trees to explode and one nearly clipped my wing.

I saw a flaming arrow wiz by my head and strike the person in the passenger seat (Who along with the driver and Ayan was a juggernaut) and cause him to drop dead. I turned around to see Nico with a bow and arrow.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked

“I remember it from Team Fortress 2, so I asked It to make me one” Nico said with a smile. I would have laughed if the rear tire didn’t explode.

“IT JUST GAVE IT TO YOU?” I questioned, I wasn’t angry or anything. But the fusillade of bullets and screeching rubber wasn’t helping.

“Mike keeps driving me and Nico will take care of Ayan!” I ordered. Mike gave me a quick salute and tried to keep the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6k on the road. I grabbed another bolt and fired yet again, but sadly another bump in the road caused me to shoot a nearby pigeon instead.

“Aim for the tires” Nico said. Fortunately lucks a bitch, and this time it wasn’t towards me. I couldn’t help but notice one of Ayan’s tires was coming undone (You know what type of car it is) and eventually it just fell off sending Ayan’s truck flying into the brush.

“CURSE YOU MICHAEL!” Ayan screamed as his armored vehicle drifted off the road and slammed straight into a mass of trees.

“Well that was….unexpected…” I muttered another thing I’d expect from Ayan. He almost gets us, then his Chinese Humvee breaks, and he dies….again.

“At leastly we are still on the road.” Mike said with a smile. Ayan was dead once again.

“Hey Nico is that Greek fire?” I asked, noticing a little vase of oil substance in it. The vase was labeled in a unknown language but distinguishable as Greek.

“Yup that was how I ignited the arrows” Nico said

“Okay just push it away from the cider…” I said

“Why?” Dan asked

“Because alcohol is flammable” I stated

“So it doesn’t ignite on fire!” Mike said

“No it does…”

“No flammable means it doesn’t ignite”

“Either way Alcohol and fire don’t mix”

“So what would you do if I just kicked this Greek fire into this apple cider? It isn’t going to ignite”

“I’d flip the shit”

“Really?”

“Yea really”

“I’m going to do it then”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously”

“Okay do it then” When it comes to trivial stuff like this, I expect a stupid conversation as such.

“You don’t think I won’t?”

“I don’t know do it”

“Fine I’m going to do it”

“Do it then”

“Do you really want me to?”

“Yea do it”

“Remember alcohol is flammable?”

“That is what I said you retard!”

“Fine last chance, do you want me to blow us all up?” Mike gave Dan the wheel and walked towards the Greek fire.

“For Christ’s sake don’t do it Mike!” Conor squealed

“Relax, I got this” Mike said. I didn’t think he was actually going to do it. But nonetheless Mike just casually kicked the fire into the flammable object. The next thing I know I’m in the air, in the distance is the exploded Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6k. All I am thinking is:

Mike, what. The. Fuck.

I hit the ground extremely hard. Everything just became a throbbing pain; I was beginning to black out. The last thing I see is Dan running up to me then waving his hand over his head to signal the others. Was I going to die? Was this the end? But before long I couldn’t think and the darkness consumed me.

This time I must have died…

Sorry for the short chapter, going to give you an extra long one next though!

-Vespi

Next Chapter: The random day at the Farm Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 56 Minutes