I woke up in the Fillycolly Inn surprisingly well rested and sane. I got up from the small cozy bed and took a moment to look out into the quaint little village. The Inn was a small building made out of wood and straw (For roofing) like all the others, it also had the same view with its windows jetting out into the street. From the window I could see a small throng of ponies already out doing their daily work.

I stretched a wee bit and waltzed down the stairs into the lobby which also served as the diner. Sitting there in 5 chairs were my 5 friends Mike, Dan, Conor, Nico, and Tyler.

“O hey Vespi” Mike said “Good night’s sleep?”

“Surprisingly good” I said with a good-cheer smile.

“So…” Tyler began. I noticed he was eyeing the inn keeper who was busy doing something nearby. Tyler waited a moment until she finished her tedious labor and walked into the other room. Just like a bullet coming out of a gun, Tyler shot off the question.

“What do we do now?”

“I guess we need to get to that Statue of Friendship” I said “But we obviously don’t know where that was. I guess we have to hit the library and gather as much information as possible…and sort out some other things.”

Everyone gave an understanding nod

“Okay should we leave right now?” Nico asked

“I haven’t eaten yet…” I stated. I then noticed an untouched English Muffin sitting on a bundle of napkins on the precipice of the table.

“Take it with you, you can eat it in the library” Nico said

“Thanks!” I said, after a night of adventuring I was starving.

We left a couple bits (Apparently a bit is something like a dollar roughly) as a tip and headed towards the library. We all knew that contact with any pony was far from wanted. Most of us at this point have realized that ponies and humans have different ideas in the name business.

We found the library, which was a large building in the center of the small town with relative ease. We walked inside and found a quiet corner, all sides covered by walls of books, hiding us from unwanted attention, and sat down.

“Okay so first off we are going to need pony names…” I suggested

“Okay…“ Dan said “Let’s get started with that first”

Finding names first off was a pain in the flank, finding names that matched our cutie marks would be 10xs harder. Mine was relatively easy and everyone agreed on “Vespi” as my name (As Vespi had become my official name lately, instead of Michael). I wasn’t really sure how people would respond to a human name, but it was worth a shot.

“I say Royce is a good name” I suggested

“Royce…Royce…Royce” Dan repeated a couple times, repeating the word over and over to see if it matched his tastes “Sounds good to me”

“Hitler? Seriously Mike you’re an asshole!” Nico said malevolently

“Well sorry for suggesting” Mike complained

“How about Hunter?” Dan asked “You look like a Hunter with your cutie mark”  

Nico looked down at his cutie mark then back up at Dan “We’ve got a name”

“What kind of a name is Cinnamon Delight?” Conor asked wearily

“YOU’RE CINAMON DELIGHT OR I AM GOING TO HIT YOU!” Tyler shouted grabbing a nearby massive book, forgetting he was in a library.

“Yellow Ranger” Tyler asked inquisitively “Why not”

“I keep telling you my name is Eminem!” Mike shouted

“For fucks sake Mike that isn’t even a pony name!” I said

“Fine I’ll be Poninem” Mike said

“No”

“Slim Pony”

“No”

“50 Bit”

“No”

“Young pony”

“NO” I shouted

“Is everything all right over there?” A frail voice called out, it must be the librarian.

“We’re fine!” Tyler shouted

“No you can be…Vinyl…Mix!” I suggested in a hushed whisper. I was actually pleasantly surprised, that was an original name!

Mike gave a slight nod and smiled “Sounds okay”

After that first tedious hour the main goal for the day was to find as much stuff about Equestria as possible. Everything! We had to incorporate every little piece of knowledge about this planet if we wanted to live here effectively.

I took the job of history and was surprisingly interested in the topic. Equestria apparently had a direct monarchy by one Princess Celestia. Princess Celestia also seems to have a side kick, or sister, named Princess Luna, who had been sent to the moon for the last 1000 years (And I bitched about getting 2 detentions for blowing up a juice box).

Princess Celestia apparently rises to an unknown altitude every year and uses a magical spell to keep the sun in orbit. Before Princess Luna was banished she did the same thing with the moon. Now that Princess Luna is back, Princess Celestia gave the task of rising the moon back to her little sister.

Equestria had a very small army, the only armed forces was the ceremonial Royal Guard which only numbered in the thousands. Apparently the Equestrians never had any use for a large organized fighting force like the US Army, but instead conscripted ponies to fight for the crown in times of war. It also seems that Equestria also incorporates many specialist like mercenaries during war. The list seemed surprisingly long (So…I guess military secrets is common knowledge or something?) ranging from Zebra pulled chariots to Marabian Janissaries, to woodland long bowmen. Kind of reminds me of the ancient Romans, is that a bad thing?

Equestria is a surprisingly large country made of 90% ponies. Below Equestria was a country made of Zebras (Basically Mexico) and to the north were the Gryphon lands. History says (While the Zebras were commonly timid life forms) the Gryphons were constantly belligerent and pugnacious things, constantly trying to attack Equestria. That is why 600 years ago Princess Celestia built a massive mountain that blocked off all of Equestria from the Gryphon lands, all except for one small opening in the center of the wall at a place called “Silver Fall Outpost”. The Royal Guard is still stationed there and basically made it into a camper’s heaven (I’d love to set up a couple claymores and a mounted MG there).

I also learned that the Gryphon’s land is also very volatile and dangerous. The Gryphons lack a strong government like the Equestrians and power seems to drift in between the lazy ass king and various war lords who fought for regions of the country, it was basically Afghanistan minus the guns (Note to self: Gryphons + ? = profit?).

Zebras seemed to also lack the strong government of Equestria but due to their passive nature they do not have the insecurity of their northern friend. Zebra’s tend to not have many cities but rather just small tribes working in the country for food, which was plentiful in some areas and sparse in others. Even after all the competition for food Zebras tend to be nice and seem to also be slowly migrating into Equestria (Might become a border guard, like Tyler’s uncle).

After reading the book conveniently named “Gryphons and Zebras, everything you need to know about something you’ll probably never meet” I found myself learning more about Equestria.

Equestria was basically a lot like America. There was very little crime (Apparently Manehattan and Fillydelphia were the main sources of crime) and the strong central government aloud a lot of freedom. I also learned that the Statue of Friendship was in Manehattan, it’s a go time.

“Hey Mike” I shouted out, Mike was the closest too me, reading a book about magic on a couch “Found something about the Statue of Friendship!”

“Dammit Vespi I almost had it!” Mike said “I’m trying to learn how to send letters to Marshal and Sam. Hang on I think I got it…” There was a pause of silence, an aura of light coursed through Mike’s horn and shot out the end, causing the letter to disappear.

“Yes I got it!” Mike said with a massive smile “Now we just got to wait for a response!”

We waited for perhaps 5 minutes, I trotted back to my station to my book just in time to hear Mike call me over again.

“Here read this, I think it’s from Sam because I can read it” Mike said. I took the letter from his hoof and began to read it, it was from Sam alright.

Dear Mike

MIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GETS ME INTO THIS!? WE ARE PONIES NOW YOU N00B! Okay sorry had to get that out of the way. Listen Mike we got your last letter and we are going to meet you at the Statue of Friendship in Manehattan, okay? Is anyone else here with you? BAM BAM BAM BLUH BA BLUH BA BLUHIDI BLU sorry Skrillex dropped the base and DUM DUM DUNM DUNM DOPPTIDO DOPPALOOP WOAAAAAAA shit did I write that? Sorry but like I said Manehattan statue of Friendship see you there WAP BLAM BLAM DU DUPTI DOPIDITO

-Sam

“It’s from Sam alright, only he would be gay enough to put the drops in it” I chuckled to myself “Let’s get the guys and get going”

All 6 of us headed towards the front of the library to plan what happens next.

“Should we start going now or do something else before we leave?” I asked

“Let’s go get some supplies before we leave” Nico suggested “I got some spare bits left over; we’ll need food anyways if we are going on foot- I mean hoof”

“Lead the way Hunter” Mike said

“Never say that again…” Nico said flatly, we all shared an old fashion laugh.  

We found the general store in the town (It was hidden with the name as “General Store” to throw us off course) and walked inside. Behind a counter was an elderly looking stallion with a pair of massive glasses.

“How can I help you whippersnappers?” He asked

“Um yea, we need some food for the road…and some saddle packs… and a weapon…we need a map of the region…and a let’s see… how about some hats? Hats make everything better right?”

The elderly pony gave us a nod “Sounds good to me , for that here weapon how does this here crossbow sound?”

He pointed to a stainless steel crossbow, it had red tiger camo. It hit me, without the development of one technology a domino effect causes. Equestrians never needed planes since Pegasus can fly, so they don’t have cars either. Since unicorns have magic they might have never needed guns, so instead of firing a gun we need to learn how to use a damn crossbow.

“Boss” I stated “Boss weapon is boss”

“Great to hear colt! What do you want for a hat?” He asked happily

“How about a hunter hat?” Nico asked

The stallion walked into a back room for a moment and came out with an Australian hat; there were some crocodile teeth on the side.

“Perfect, also we need 5 saddle packs” I said

“Great do you want them to have your cutie marks on them? I can do it lickedy split” He asked

I looked back at my friends, who all gave nods “Sure why no would that cost extra?”

“A bit extra for each” The elderly store clerk said “He walked back into the back room again and came out with 5 saddle packs, 1 with a V on the side (mine), 1 with a lightning bolt (Dan’s), 1 with a medal on it (Tyler’s), 1 with a pair of head phones (Mike’s), 1 with a brownie on it (Conor’s even though I’ve never seen him bake brownies).

“Great how much would this all be?” I asked

“Everything would be 418 bits” He said

“Dam I knew we should have looted that shed with the pegasus in it…” Nico muttered, I cringed

“Shoot you colts killed Butterfly Fluttercry? If you did that you can get all of this stuff for free! That monster has been evil since the day old scratch made her!” He said enthusiastically, so apparently murder is a good thing now…

“Okay…thanks” I said, quickly scooping up all the purchased goods and scurrying outside.

The next thing we got was food, which wasn’t funny at all…without Tyler.

We headed to the market (Not a open market with good goods, actually a super market) and bought some bread and some water, and a ton of soda (Ponspi and Saxtonade mostly) we were about to leave before Tyler got an idea.

“Watch this” Tyler said, he pulled out one of the shopping carts and jumped on it.

“Mike push me” Tyler ordered, Mike grabbed the shopping cart and began to run down the aisle pushing the cart.

“WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Tyler shouted, slamming into the backroom labeled “Employees only”

We ran off after him, running into the room.

Things got weird after that….

***

I took out the map and circled a small farming town 50 miles east of here as our objective. “Marington” was the name.

“Ready guys?” Mike asked

“Let’s get it done” Dan asked

Off to a new town and new adventure!

Next Chapter: The return of Ayan Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 3 Minutes