ACT II

LIVING IN A NEW WORLD

DAYS IN EQUESTRIA: THIRTY THREE

ESTIMATED AMOUNT OF SEXY TIME: 11 MINUTES

DEATHS CAUSED BY HUMANS: 2.2 MILLION BEAVERS, 378 PONIES (Most of which indirectly killed by God)

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I woke up the next day better rested then I thought, I yawned and got out of my bed. At first I didn't remember much, for a split second I even forgot about being a pony, but eventually everything came back. Then the Russian’s voice came back. Just in time for me to trip over a random bucket. Damn random buckets, wait why was there even a bucket in my room?

"Good morning Vespi! Sleep well?”

I jumped like a mother fucker and tripped over the bucket again

"Okay, just 2 questions I have man" I said "1. What happened to leaving us alone? And 2; how the FUCK do you track us?"

“Very simple my good friend, I saw you met up with my… “Apprentice” Yuri before, we’ll I sent him and his men to track you wherever you went. They did an actual thorough job too, until you went under the radar, from there it was more or less when we heard of you or your friends and rushed there, most of the time you were already gone though. Most of it is just foot work but I’m focusing on some stuff to help you guys, like the time I brought in a Humvee for you guys. The MTS or Material Transport System protocol should be up and running in 2 weeks tops. Also did you get my moose?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond “The moose that landed on the train we were on?”

“Yes, he was a good moose too”

"I see, so about leaving me alone" Why so serious you ask? I don’t want some random Russian scientist looking at me 24/7, then again since he could just whistle and a gang of Russian soldiers pop up it might be okay.

"Okay seems fair enough, this isn't communist Russia anymore. I'll leave you to be when you are doing whatever this generation does, what would that be? Drinking? Partying? Cursing? I don’t care.”

"Eyup" I said, moving towards the mirror to check my appearance, thankfully I wouldn’t need to shave…a ton. I didn’t know exactly what to do with my friends, since we mainly just all walked away I would have to go and find them. I couldn’t help but smile at my vanity for a moment; damn I’m so sexy ;). My black hair was still in presentable condition and my green mane was a little dirty but fine. I checked out my cutie mark as well, frankly I liked it, but it wasn't exactly that creative. It was a red V with a white background, the one problem was the cutie mark (Unfortunately) wasn’t in perfect harmony with my body coloring. For some reason green with a red V looked pretty meh.

"Very creative" I said, hoping the Russian was there to respond

"I'll keep you informed; Drunken Russian over and out!" What a conversationalist

I didn’t know exactly where to go but I chose to head straight towards Ponyville Plaza, hopefully I could find my good friends there already. I quickly got ready and took a quick shower, just to look presentable.

I tossed the old knapsack over my back and headed towards the Ponyville Plaza. When I was only a block away I heard some pony clear their voice and tap me on the shoulder. I turned around to see a white unicorn with a beautiful purple mane and tail. Her eyes looked like two priceless diamonds gleaming in the sunlight. I couldn’t help but just smile, if this had been the night before I would have went “OMGWTFAAAAAAH” and elbowed her in the face, thankfully because I would look like an ass if I did that.

"Hello there I apologize on interrupting you, but I couldn't help but notice your beautiful knapsack. Me being a stranger and all, do you mind if I was to purchase this bag?" She said,

This knapsack wasn't exactly beautiful. It looked old and beat up; it looked as though that Russian had used it during his time in the red army, or in the KGB or whatever. Then again it’s not like I’m going to be using it for anything special. Or maybe there was some other reason she approached me? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, let’s see where this goes…

"Sure I don't mind" Let’s see where this goes I thought.

"Marvelous! My sister loves to play around with old clothing and what not. How much would you like for it?"

"I think 25 would do or 15 and your name" Damn yea smooth cat. Flirting was something that was never very hard for me; I guess that's why all my friends told me I have a golden tongue, and that I should be a diplomat. Or did they say I should be a politician? Either way, one makes up shit and the other one solves shit, wait while I’m thinking this am I missing something important she is saying?

The beautiful pony giggled "Rarity and that seems like a perfect price. I'll be right back, I just need to get some money from my boutique, it is right next door, stay right here please!" She went running off into a small store, before the door even closed she came running out again; a small sack of golden bits in hoof.

"Here you go" I said handing her the knapsack. I was now 15 bits richer, now I wish I took the 25 bits…

"Thank you, not that it’s any of my business but are you new in town?"

"Yup me and my friends just moved here" I’m obviously not going to tell her from where.

"Really?" She said with a small smirk "Then I guess Pinkie Pie will have to give you guys a house warming party, you have a house now right?"

Crap better think fast "Actually no, we came here on an impulse, but we will get one, wait who is Pinkie Pie?"

"Pinkie Pie is that giggly earth pony that is always bouncing around, giving the newcomers house parties, making cupcakes, that kind of stuff. If you were to get a house I’d advise you just take the old Calibri house. He was the town’s elderly newspaper maker who passed away 6 months ago, the mayor has the deed though, and if you can help her out a little bit I’m sure you can get the deed though." She gave me a small smile “maybe I would be able to see you a lot more then”

Perfect, I’ll do something for the mayor (Or if it comes to that peer pressure Dan into doing it) take the deed and wait for everything to work out.

"Great! I'm running late for a meeting now, but I’ll have to talk to you again!" I said with a smile, planning everything out in my head.

"Great!" she said it with the exact amount of enthusiasm has me "I can't wait for your house warming party, thanks to Pinkie Pie there always nice parties" She gave me a wink and we both shared a laugh.

"Sounds great, see you soon then!"  

She began walking back into her boutique; the second the door shut I heard the obnoxious cheering (possibly jeering) from none other than my friends

"Yea buddy!" they all screamed out in unison before I could even turn around.

A little part of jersey everywhere.

"Yea buddy!"

"Yea buddy!"

"Yea Buddy!"

"Alright guys you have been saying yea buddy for 15 minutes now, I think I get the picture" I said, it actually was 15 minutes, for the last 5 minutes I thought I was turning schizophrenic. Obviously everyone was looking at us like we were burning a witch, but once we stopped everything returned to normal.

"Sorry, but anyways last time, yea buddy!" Conor said hooves rose in happiness.

"So guys how was sleeping in the woods like?" I asked

"Pretty good, Dan stabbed a hobo pony but other than that just dandy" Mike said with a wide awake smile.

"Bastard had it coming, he barfed all over my cash" Dan said in his own defense; showing a bag of cash drenched in sickly green barf, it would blow if no one accepted those.

"Not really, he just asked if you could spare some change" Conor said, Conor was always telling the truth, RIP that poor hobo.

"Alright guys I have a plan on how we can get a house without paying for anything, if any of you were listening it seems the mayor has a deed to a house in Ponyville we do something for her and we get the deed in return. Sounds good?"

"Not It!"

"Not It!"

"Not It!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!" I said, not this game

"Wait what? GOD DAMMIT!" Nico said, note to viewers: Only phase out when you can't possibly screw up.

"Well let’s see what she wants us to do before we play this game" I said, everyone nodded.

We began walking towards the mayor’s office in Ponyville. It was a nice large structure, made out of wood like all the other buildings, with some stone pillars outside that formed a beautifully maintained courtyard. We walked straight into the mayor’s office, she was an elderly women sitting next to a desk full with papers; her small glasses submerged into a book of the town’s progress this year probably.

"Hey hello there we were curious if there was any way we could get the deed to the Calibri house, anything you need done?" I said

“Well hello then, I’m Mayor Mare” She said

“Sup” Tyler said

“How can we get the deed to that new house?” I asked again

""Hmmmm” the old pony said "You wouldn't happen to know anything about espionage do you?"

"Sorry we don’t speak Spanish" I said, espionage is Spanish right? Then it hit me; do they even Have Spain here in

Equestria?

"I see I’m sorry the there’s nothing else I need done" She said in a sad voice

.

"Welllllll" Mike said, let’s see what he has "Dan is kind of into you...maybe he can do something for you?"

"MIKE FUCK YOU!" Dan said; I bit my lip until it nearly bled trying to stop from laughing, if no one laughed this might actually

work. Mike being a pimp might actually work.

"You don't say?" The mayor was now looking at Dan with a lusty look.

***

We sat outside patiently for a while; from inside we could hear the two whispering and the Mayors giggling. Eventually we heard Dan say

“Wait what? No fuck no! NOO! O GOD NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT BURNS KILL ME, O GOD OOOOOO GOD!”

Then we heard a punch thrown, a crash, and finally muffled screaming … poor bastard

We waited outside for a good 20 minutes, then Dan walked out with the deed in his hand. Before he even said a word he walked over to Mike and kicked him right in-between the eyes with surprising precision. Even though Mike was now on the ground he was still laughing so hard I thought he would explode. We all began laughing so long that Dan finally broke down and began to laugh too.

"Thanks for taking the hit buddy" Mike said with a slap on the back.

Dan got serious again "You owe me Mike, you seriously owe me."

"Alright man! Trust me! You have the deed and keys and everything?" Mike asked

"Yea everything is here, excuse me." Dan ran over to the restroom and we all heard several barfing noises before Dan walked outside.

"Weird, I swear to god the next time I am doing that is with someone I WANT TO DO IT WITH!" Dan said hyper ventilating;

let’s pray to god doing the mayor of Ponyville didn't scar him too much.

“Fun first time man?” I asked with a giggle

“Shut up Vespi”

"Alright guys let's kill the conversation and get back to the house, im sure Dan will need to sit on a doughnut."

And everyone began laughing fanatically again.

"So how was it?" Tyler asked, we were seriously still laughing

“Both my heart and my penis hurt now let’s shut the fuck up and head home”

Original 6FL nostolgia anyone :)?

-Vespie

Next Chapter: Ain't no Party like a Pinkie Pie Party Estimated time remaining: 49 Minutes