It was well past a reasonable bedtime when Twilight finally began wending her way home. She was alone, her friends having all scattered off in their own respective directions, and that was fine; she didn’t really want company. It had been another wonderful night among friends, even if she hadn’t meant to drink so much. Classic mistake, going to a bar with nebulous plans of ‘only having one or two.’ No matter. She was…Ah yes, she was headed home. Twilight tottered back onto the road and toward to the warm, familiar lights of her library.

And when exactly had they become familiar, she wondered? There was a time when this whole town had been foreign to her. Back then, she’d have been horrified to be caught drunk on the road, wandering home. Or to be caught drunk at all. Oh deary me, what would the Princess have thought?

Twilight laughed at that. She’d seen Celestia drunk and worse (or better?) since those silly, early days. They’d gone on adventures together. Oh, the things she’d seen…good times. Twilight belched, and that was fine too. She greeted a pair of lovers as they ambled by. How nice for them, to have met someone tonight.

Twilight sauntered up to her own door, blissfully, and possibly willfully, forgetful of why she’d left in the first place. The lights were still on. Spike, staying up late again. That scamp. She threw open the unlocked door and walked in, planning to make some snide comment or other. But then…

She found Spike, playing little spoon to a certain Moon Princess on the couch. And then it all came back. Why she’d been kicked out of her own house. And then it all came forward.

“Oh, Why Hello, Twilight! Pardon me, dear,” said Luna. She tapped Spike's chest with a hoof, and he rolled off the couch to make way for her. She hopped up to strut towards the younger pony. “And how was your evening, Princess Sparkle?”

“It was…” It was punch your face!! thought Twilight, but no, no. She must give the benefit of the doubt. Surely there was some misconception here. “Fine. So, what, um…”

“I have just been instructing the young Spike in the ways of lovecraft.” Said Luna, with a fiendish gleam in her eye. The dragon in question waved one long arm Twilight’s way. “It has been a very hooves-on lesson, of course. He is a natural talent in the physical ways of romance, let me assure you. Such stamina.”

Twilight’s eye twitched. Her wing followed suit.

“It was amazing Twilight,” said Spike, in the baritone that was now his voice.

“Yyyerrk!!!” spat Twilight, her face scrunching up in wrath. The small part of her brain that wasn’t consumed with fury made a note; Ooooooh. This is what Applejack felt like. It took a moment for her to be able to speak. And when she could, she pointed herself directly at Luna and…

…was interrupted by riotous laughter as the Princess fell to the floor.

“HAHAHAHAhaha! You have no idea how long we had to sit like this before you got here. HA! Your face! HAHAhahaha! We apol-hahahahaha!”

Twilight knew mercy, and so she stayed her murderous rage and waited for an explanation. One came to her inebriated mind even before Luna managed to pick herself up of the ground.

Luna was screwing with her.

Dammit.

Twilight flopped her but to the floor and thumped both hooves into her forehead.

“Uugh! I can’t believe I fell for that!” She soon joined the laughter despite herself.

“Sorry boss,” said Spike. “But c’mon, that was pretty funny.”

“Truly…Truly, Twilight Sparkle, you have Our apologies,” said Luna, gasping for air. “We couldn’t resist. ‘Tis an old joke, but never has it lost its magic.” The Moon Princess bowed before Twilight, spreading her wings in supplication.

“Oh, get up, Luna. It’s fine. Jerk.” The last was said with a slightly chagrined smile.

“Verily,” responded Luna, bouncing back upright. “In all honesty though, Sparkle, you have helped to raise a fine young drake. I applaud your efforts. I only wish you had asked my assistance sooner. There is no need to be a stranger, sweetling.”

She stepped in close with that last statement, just inside Twilight's little bubble of personal space. She put her wings up on full display, thrust her chest out, smiling, with those lovely, slightly hooded eyes.

Was…was she flirting?

Nah, it was probably just another joke. Right? Totally.

“Um, ok, well…” stuttered Twilight, stepping backwards just a smidge.

“Indeed. I shall be away then. But do not hesitate to write if ever you should need anything at all. Or feel free to just come by. You know where to find Us.” Luna winked, and both Twilight and Spike were certain she’d been doing so at themselves alone. “A good evening to you both.” She turned and strutted unhindered through the open door, which Twilight was pretty sure she had closed earlier. She didn’t notice that until later though, being much too busy watching that strut…

Twilight and Spike gazed on for another timeless moment as Luna waltzed outside and bounded gracefully into the night sky. It was Spike who finally broke the silence.

“She’s uh, really something, huh?”

Twilight snorted. “Yeah, she sure is.” She turned to look at her little brother. “So, are you, uh, ok? I mean, the um, the talk went…well?” asked Twilight, fumbling for words. Stupid booze. And stupid awkward situations.

Spike continued to stare after Luna with that thoughtful expression Twilight had been seeing so much of lately. “Oh yeah, sure. It was fine.” He turned to back to look at Twilight. “I knew some of it already, but uh, yeah. There’s a lot of crazy stuff out there huh?”

“There sure is,” said Twilight with a smile. “So, sorry for running off on you like that. I was kind of, well, you know….”

Spike nodded with a wry grin. “Yeah, the Princess explained all that. She explained a lot of things.” He blew out a breath. “A whole lot of things…”

“Yeah…” Twilight chuckled. “But anyway, I just wanted you to know you can um, ask me anything, ok? If you ever have any questions, or just want to talk, or anything.”

“Yeah, sure. Luna told me that too. About you, I mean.” Spike’s tail wrapped around him and placed itself in his claws, like it always did when he was nervous. He’d done that since he was a baby…“I uh, I know I don’t really make talking very easy sometimes. I’ll work on it.”

Twilight smiled. “It’s ok. I was a teenager once too.”

“Heh,” responded Spike.

“Well," said Twilight, jumping in before the silence could get too long, "I’m going to stuff my face full of whatever’s in the fridge and head off to bed, I think.”

“Yeah, I’ll prob’ly stay up for a bit.”

“Ok. Good night, Spike.”

“G’night,” said Spike. Twilight watched him go for a bit before turning toward the kitchen. She listened to the click of his claws on the hardwood floor. She heard his door open, but then there was a pause.

…

“Love you Twilight.”

Twilight’s heart swelled a bit. Wait, was she tearing up? Bah. It was probably just the alcohol. But still...

“Love you too, little guy.”

Author's Notes:

Forgot to do an afterword for this, so here we go!
Many thanks to my home-dog Spice of Life for tricking me into reading fanfiction, and then somehow compelling me to write it (probably using black magic).
Thanks also to the writers of stories about Royal bathroom habits and magical pony physiology for demonstrating that my sense of humor might be shared by other weirdos.
And thanks to everybody who read this nonsense. Here's hoping you enjoyed it as much or more than I did.

Also, writing anthologies is...tricky. There's always going to be a best story in any collection (Applejack's) and a weakest one (Pinkie's), and it's no damn fun knowing that some of your work is going be worse than the rest just because you've already used up all your inspiration. I ran out right around the end of Dash's chapter, in this case. Rarity's took a while to even conceive of, and Pinkie's was basically a default. Such is life.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Peace out.

I'm pondering doing another story wherein Spike goes forth to have his own adventures. Might be nice to do a story from a male perspective for once. Or not. We'll see what happens.