Or, Things Get Weird...er.

“Well, that is just adorable!” crooned Princess Luna. “Thank you, Twilight, for sharing all those stories with us. We are so pleased to know We could be of assistance in your learning about your lovely friends. And in the education of young Spike, of course”

Twilight sipped lightly from her glass of wine. It was more of a goblet really. Nearly a jug. Luna was pouring tonight, and she was quite liberal with it.

“Oh, sure. Any time.”

She had felt a little leery of telling her friend’s stories like that at first, but it wasn’t like they’d asked her to keep them secret. And they'd all heard hers, so…

“You really are lucky to have such good friends,” put in Cadance with a smile. “It’s rare for ponies to be so open. Too bad really. It’s such a fun subject!”

“Ah, but ‘tis that bit of taboo that makes it so,” said Luna. “It would just be so much small talk if one could discuss it over dinner every night.”

Celestia nodded. She’d been fairly quiet through the whole tale, but that was hardly surprising; Twilight knew this wasn’t her favorite subject. She’d been obviously uncomfortable at first, but after a while, she’d warmed up and started laughing along with the rest of them.

The four Princesses lounged in a moment of companionable silence. This was their monthly Princess night; a pleasant little retreat from the world wherein the four of them could curl up on comfy pillows and have drinks and generally act like they didn’t have any pressing responsibilities. It was a bit like a sleep-over really, though there had yet to be a pillow fight or game of Truth or Dare. Luna made sure to continually remind them that she could change that at any time. Mostly though, they just relaxed and talked about whatever was on their minds, regardless of what was happening in their various queendoms. Any subject was allowed, except work. Unless that was really what they wanted to dish about.

“Well!” exclaimed Luna. “I suppose it’s only fair that We tell Our own story, isn’t it?” She looked around the room expectantly.

“Oh, I don’t-“ started Celestia.

“Pfah! Come now, Celestia. Surely it would be impolite not to do Our share?”

Twilight was sure Celestia would try to put this off until next month, in the hope that Luna would forget about it. But then…

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this,” said Cadance.

Luna’s face quirked up into a sly smile. Celestia blanched a bit.

“Sparkle?”

Well, it was getting late, and she was a little sleepy, but…

“Sure,” said Twilight. “This should be interesting.”

“I hear things were pretty crazy back in the old days,” said Cadance, in an aside to Twilight.

“We shall let you be the judge,” said Luna, plowing straight through any further objections from her sister. She adopted a suitably dramatic pose, and then began…

“Our tale begins before even the very first Night.”

In the beginning, there was the Earth. There were perhaps times before that world came to be, but none living can remember them. It was presumably very dark and quiet and boring. Regardless, first, there was the Earth. The sun shone, and the moon glowed, but so distant were they that the Earth stood in perpetual twilight; no day, no night. There were no Princesses either, and no kingdoms. There was life though, wild and untamed. The world spun on in this is state of primal majesty for untold eons. But then, one day, the First Day, in point of fact, things began to change. Ponies had scrabbled their way up beyond their simple natures. They’d begun farming, and building, and forming societies. And Celestia, though she had no name yet, took notice. She came closer, wanting to see what it was that these strange little beings were up to. The sky lit with her glory, and the ponies looked up in wonder. They called out to her. They constructed temples to be closer to her. They gave her a name. And it was then that she decided that she would very much like to join them on Earth. So it was that she set her Sun permanently nearer the Earth, and, in a move no astral being had ever before even thought to consider, she gave herself flesh. This was the First Day; Celestia descending to Earth, shining down in her full radiance, finally truly meeting the ponies she had watched for so long. The First Day was a golden age. Celestia lived and played and loved without worry or care among the mortals, and they loved her boundlessly in return…platonically, of course. We haven’t gotten to the fun part yet.

No one knows how long this went on; there weren’t seasons yet, and Night had yet to be invented, so there weren’t many good ways of telling time. It could not have been long though, for the Moon was watching the Sun’s little adventure, and though she agreed that it looked like everyone was having a wonderful time down there on Earth, she was beginning to notice a problem. Celestia and her Sun were so wondrous and beautiful, so relentlessly perfect, that the creatures around her were starting to drop dead from the simple exhaustion of trying to match her. They forgot to sleep, they ate only when She reminded them by doing so herself, and that was rare. So grand and joyous was her presence that literally all other thoughts fell from the pony’s minds when she was near. They could not even gaze directly at her, lest they be blinded and consumed by her by her glory. So instead, they worshiped. They brought her gifts, they invented, they strove to acts of ever greater valor and heroism, anything they could imagine that might please her. They lived and died hoping for even the briefest glance from her, the barest ghost of a smile. And at the end, when they were finally spent, those foolish, extraordinary creatures would fall to the ground, basking in their Blazing Goddess’s glory until their end finally came.

Not that they were suffering, mind you; death in service to Celestia was considered a perfect way to go, and the ponies had never been happier. But the Moon saw the fragile genius in their creations, the short-lived magic and wonder in their arts and efforts, and She, too, came to love them. But she wanted more; more from them and more for them. She wanted to see those ponies survive to appreciate their masterpieces, to be remembered and to inspire even more. But that could not be if the love-struck ponies kept dropping dead before they got really skilled. Thusly did the Moon come up with a plan to see if she could convince Celestia to maybe tone it down a little. You see, She, too, had been seen and worshipped and wondered at by the creatures of Earth. She had watched them for a long time, she had even been named long before Celestia’s First Day. So, in a way, Luna was the real elder of the two.

Luna glanced sideways at her sister with a sly smirk. Celestia gave a good-natured roll of her eyes.

So she knew what the creatures of Earth needed; rest. A time for reflection, for recovery, for preparation for the exertions of the next day. A little break, every so often, from the unmatched glory of Celestia. And, perhaps, a bit of late-night inspiration from a different, ever so slightly more subtle muse.

And so Luna, too, wrapped herself in a skin of Moon and Stars and Space and threw herself to Earth. Or, perhaps, from Earth; her newly incarnated from burst forth from the Moon’s own reflection in the calm seas, laughing with the simple joy of suddenly being alive. None who saw were certain if she had risen from the waves, or fallen from the sky, but it made no difference; a new Goddess was born. Celestia looked on in joy at this wondrous new being, her equal in might and beauty, if perhaps, in a rather different fashion. The ponies, too, rejoiced, as they are known to do for any or no reason.

In her first living act, Luna danced across the sky, singing a lullaby of impossible grace as she blanketed the world in the First Night. The stars rose, the Moon shone down its soft, silver glow, and a comfortable peace settled over the lands. Celestia watched as Luna grew near, and looked on in captivated wonder at the first being she’d ever met that could witness with eyes unshaded her full beauty and not be destroyed, at the first being that could rival her in anything, in everything.

When finally Luna had rounded the entire Earth, the two goddesses stood before one another, each just watching, taking the other’s unique, impossible perfection in. Opposite, they were, but also the same. Celestia stepped closer, for once not knowing what she should do, or say, or what might happen. And she relished every moment of it.

And then, in her second act, Luna stepped boldly forward and…

“Right! So, uh, this next part, ah,” cut in Celestia, stuttering a bit.

“You’re right, Celestia,” said Luna, steamrolling right on in with a devious grin. “Much easier to show, than tell.” And with that, she leapt in, wrapped both arms around Celestia’s neck, and kissed her full on the mouth. With tongue and everything!

You could practically hear Cadance’s jaw hit the floor.

“Mmmmf! Gah! Luna!” exclaimed Celestia, batting her away with a wing. She tried to be the dignified one, but she couldn’t quite manage to suppress laugh as she did it. “Not in front of Twilight! She’ll…”

You could literally hear a *whump* as Twilight Sparkle’s head flopped deadweight onto her pillow.

“…freak out.”

“Tsk,” pouted Luna. “I didn’t even get to make my joke about the Sun ‘going down.’ ”

Twilight slumbered fitfully, plagued by unsettling dreams of Princesses doing things to each other that were probably not even legal in most places. Or would you call these nightmares? Yes, definitely nightmares.

“There’s actually very little that’s illegal between two consenting adults, Twilight.”

…

“Luna?”

“Indeed.”

“Can you please get out of my dreams?"

“Certainly. You need only…”

Wake up.

Luna leaned over the youngest Princess.

Twilight slowly rose to a sitting position, looking owlishly around the room. Celestia was fanning her with a wing, looking very concerned, but also a bit amusedly chagrined. Cadance looked amusedly confused. Luna looked just plain amused. Twilight rubbed a hoof down her face.

“Ok, good one. You got me. But just for my own sanity, you were just messing with me right?” Luna’s expression changed not at all, so Twilight looked to Celestia for confirmation. The elder Princess seemed suddenly very interested in something across the room.

Luna’s leering grin only grew as the moment hung.

“But…but you’re sisters!!” cried Twilight. “You can’t-I mean, that isn’t-I mean..!”

“Hahahah!! You are just such fun, young Sparkle!” chortled Luna.

“Wow,” put in Cadance. “Things really were crazy in the old days…”

“Listen, Twilight, Cadance,” began Celestia, “You have to understand. It was a different time, you see. And Luna and I aren’t exactly normal ponies, so, things are, ah, different, for us. This kind of thing really wasn’t that uncommon among creatures like us.” There was a note of desperation in her voice.

“Wasn’t that uncommon!?!?” shouted Twilight. “How does that make kissing your sister any less..Augh! I don’t even..!”

Luna took a break from cackling to cut in.

“Hah! Oh, do calm down, Twilight. Celestia and I are no more sisters than you and Cadenza. Even less so, I’d imagine.”

“We’re sisters-in-law, actually,” mentioned Cadance. “So…”

“Yes, my point exactly! We are goddesses; astral bodies made flesh! We have none of your ‘bloodlines’ or ‘lineages’ or any other such nonsense. We do not go about spewing bodily fluids at each other to spawn more children. Such things are for mortals!”

Cadance snorted a laugh at that. "You two just do it for fun then?"

"Hah! I like this one, Celestia," said Luna, pointing Cadance's direction. "Have I mentioned that lately? She is Fun!"

Twilight continued to stare.

Turning back to the youngest Princess, Luna continued.

“I was born from my own reflection in the sea, Sparkle! Do you truly think We have any relatives? This 'sisters' business is just a…” Luna waved a hoof, looking for the right words. “A term of endearment. Same as calling Cadance our niece, or Discord our uncle, or any such thing. We just use the family words to show how close we are. ‘Tis not really that strange, is it?”

Twilight glared suspiciously around them room, still not entirely sure that she wasn’t the butt of a joke that everypony else was in on.

“I…guess not. When you put it that way.”

“And besides,” put in Celestia, quickly. “We haven’t been, eh, romantic, in ages.”

“Mayhaps you haven’t,” quipped Luna.

“Nice!” said Cadance, putting up a hoof. Luna met it with a resounding *tok.*

Ignoring them completely, Celestia carried on.

“We weren’t called sisters until long after we stopped…doing that.”

“Huh,” stated Twilight. “Well. Alright.” She still sounded doubtful.

“Lovely!” spouted Luna. “Now that that’s settled, let me tell you about my third act! I still had to convince the Sun to go down, you see-“

“Nope! No way! Princess Twilight is leaving the building! See you next month when everypony remembers how to be normal!”

The remaining Princesses watched as Twilight stomped out. Luna spoke first.

“She’s a bit high-strung, isn’t she?”

Celestia sighed with a rueful laugh.

"You are a terrible pony, Luna."

Author's Notes:

Oh Snap! This story wasn't done at all! Alas, now I have to try and come up with something for Cadance...

Anywho, you have the hilarious and highly questionable A Finer Vintage and my love of ancient mythology to thank for this little...whatever it is.

But seriously, Twilight. Have you ever even read any of the really old stories? This shit happened like, all the time.