I walked slowly towards home. "Celestia...you alright?"

Celestia rode upon my back, legs wrapped around my sides, arms wrapped around my neck, her head pressed against my jaw. "Cold...."

I continued my walk. "I'll try and hurry." I picked up my pace, still not completely comfortable walking on four legs. "Feels like I'm crawling, but it doesn't hurt."

A few birds sang loudly in the distance. "Walking like this isn't much better. Feels like I'm constantly stumbling."

I looked up to the moon. "So we're going to your student's right?"

Celestia nuzzled my neck. "Yes."

"And how long does this last?" I asked, finding the path towards the library empty and clean.

Celestia's hair spilled over my head. "A day--"

"So we're gonna need-" I spaced out, finding myself at the Library door, "-to tell Luna or someone to raise the sun, right?"

Celestia rubbed her head, hooking her arm around my neck. "Oh damn...."

I laughed softly as I forced the door open, stepping into the strange tree. "Do you think Twilight will mind if we sleep in here?"

Celestia slowly dismounted, sliding down my side and onto the floor. "I don't think so--"

"Enira, sov'al tok!?" A sharp, somewhat raspy voice came from above, a pink and white stallion racing down the stairs. "Who are you!? Now!" He stamped his hoof, getting up in my face.

I stared at the stallion. "...Your breath smells like pussy."

The stallion grew a bit flushed, "I- you need to leave, now!"

I smiled lazily. "Eating out the book horse?" I asked, watching Celestia walk past the stallion and up the stairs. "...Ha.... Nerd finally got laid."

The stallion stared at me, rage mixed with shame. "Get out of my--"

"Celestia!?" Twilight's voice, as fuzzy as it was for me, echoed through the building.

I stared eye to eye with the stallion, smiling smugly. "Celestia...?"

"Hmm?"

I took a deep breath. "I promise, till I die, I will be kind, nice, pleasant to you. But I'm going to rail on everyone else. I love you, but I've gotta do this." I stepped nose to nose with the stallion. "I banged your princess--"

The stallion leaned his forehead against me. "No you didn't."

I laughed heavily, slowly settling down on the floor. "I guess not." I folded my legs up and splayed out over the floor of the treebrary. "Still, I banged your leader." I closed my eyes, ready to finally get some rest. Next time I opened my eyes, I'd have to be different, I would be different, and I could only hope I'd like being a kinder if still vulgar, person.