I stared at the bright white doorway, the only thing in my existence beside the void. The bright white rectangle calling out to me amidst the sea of white noise I was left in. But could I? I knew what this was, I knew who I would become when I stepped through that door.

I'd had my turn, I'd sacrificed everything, said my goodbyes, done everything I could have done to make things right. Could I just come back, pretending like I could take it all back? Was it fair of me to show up in my friend's lives again? Was it fair to force the person I'd be consuming to die, just so I'd have another chance.

I'd killed before, I'd done it for so many reasons. Patriotism, food, survival, fear and hate. One more life would be meaningless, one more soul in exchange for my own. But somehow, some way this felt different. This would be me, body and soul, fighting against myself, fighting against an alternate version.

Was it fair to steal my life back, could I even bring myself to do it? To rip away the person that was inhabiting my body, kill him and claim a new, strong, healthy body for myself.

I could go to Celestia, I could apologize to everyone. I could look over Silver Spoon, I could hold her, I could kiss her. I could live a new life, a clean life, one free of the noises, one free of the guilt. All it would take was one, final, life.

What difference would it make that this man called himself Able? What difference would it be if he had the same face as me? Was I connected to him in a way other than that? Did I owe this person something? Did I not earn a chance? Did I not sacrifice everything, my body, my mind, my soul for the betterment of others?

I deserved a chance. Even if in the end I couldn't bring myself to do it, I deserved a shot. I want my life back, I want a life back, I want to feel the warmth of a lover's skin. I want to see a girl I raised grow up strong and proud. I want to laugh, to be able to sit quietly and not worry what the voices might say.

I was born into war. I was raised to fight, and I did. And this, this alternate reality version, this variant of my own mind, my own body, he was raised in luxury and peace. He needed to pay his dues, and I needed to finally enjoy the peace, the comfort, the opportunity I so gravely deserved.

I wanted it.

I needed it.

And I would have it.

I charged through the door.

I snapped awake in my hotel, my head spinning like I'd headbutted a wall. "Jesus Christ...what the hell was that?" I asked the air, looking around to see if anything had fallen off the shelves. I'd come to Equestria for a retreat, something to get my mind off work, and already this vacation was proving to be completely awful.

"Stupid ponies." I mumbled getting to my feet. I wandered over to a window, wiping off the damp frost that clung to it and peering out over the castle. I'd never liked castles or palaces, but for some strange reason I felt like I should go.

I felt compelled to visit, to say hello to Princess. Maybe it would be fun, it would certainly be more entertaining than sitting around and listening to a TV. And who knows, maybe I'll meet one of the people that's been with a pony, one that's having a kid. Be a good a time as any to figure out what the hell happened.

Apparently something about ponies meant they could make babies with other species. It sounded like a load of crap to me, but sure enough I'd seen an inter species couple sporting a bit of a baby bump. It wasn't for me though, something about them being related to horses bugged me. But I was curious, what could be so appealing about these folk that you'd ignore something so apparent.

I found my bags. I had a strange craving to wear something white. I didn't know why, but matching the snow felt right, felt good. I wanted to look good. I was meeting royalty after all, they'd look good. I mean it wasn't like I was trying to impress them, it just felt right. A long white coat with a hood would suffice. I'd gotten it as a gift from someone, and despite my trepidation to take things from strangers it felt good. It was a good, hearty material, it fit perfectly and it was nice and warm.

I zipped it up, pulling the hood over my head and starting off. The coat looked very sleek, very sharp and clean, but the way it hugged me and moved with great ease was insane. It was meant to be worn hard, but sadly I never had the time nor the energy to use it properly.

I stepped out of my hotel room, nearly bumping into a pony maid as she walked through the hall, "Oh my, I'm sorry!" She chirped prancing past.

I watched the chipper young mare wander off, finding myself staring at the black skirt of her uniform. "...Did I just- what the hell?" I asked myself, rubbing my face to banish the lewd thoughts I was having about the maid pony.

I had horrid thoughts about the mare's well framed rear, perfect white backside squeezed tight by my greedy fingers. "...I don't even like ponies, what the fuck?" I rubbed the back of my hood against my neck, turning towards the maid again. "...I- it's horse ass." I mumbled to myself, turning to the stairs.

I walked quickly down, stopping after a flight. My usual heavy footed thuds felt wrong. I turned my feet sideways, holding my hands out in a surfer pose as I sidestepped down the next few flights. My feet had never been so nimble, my new way of walking finding me at the ground floor in seconds.

I made sure no one was looking at me funny. The last thing I needed was for a bunch of sapient horses thinking I was the weird one. Granted I'd just bolted down a few flights of stairs like some soldier boy or uppity school kid, but still. Ever since I'd got here things felt weird, and they've only been getting stranger since I woke up.

I didn't even plan on visiting the castle, and now here I was half way there. I was supposed to go to the beach, relax, spend the winter on some exotic shore, but instead I was walking out of my hotel and towards the main street of Canterlot. The castle stood high above the rest of the town, snow dotting the spires and giving it a fantastic feeling. But there was something strange about it all.

It felt familiar, like I'd walked this road before. But I'd never been to Equestria before, I'd been planning this trip a while but the feeling was so vivid, so real. Like I'd take each step before. I walked carefully towards the castle, pausing for a few moments as a strangely familiar guard stopped me at the gate.

"...Hi." she muttered, tapping her hoof on the ground, "Do you...remember me?"

I looked at the mare as she took off her helmet. "...Yes, but...why do I?"

The guard scoffed, "You go off to Ponyville and suddenly you're too good for me...."

I cocked my head, "What- Ponyville--"

"Just go, Able, just go on." The guard pulled her helmet on and step to the side.

I scratched my head as I walked the increasingly familiar path. "How does she know my nickname? What the hell is going on today?"

I pushed my confusion aside and hurried up the steps into the castle hall. The entry was a bit crowded, ponies and other Equestrian species hanging about and chatting. I walked towards the throne room door, how I knew where it was, was beyond me, but somehow I knew it was right. I carried on, the guards looked up at me, some moving out of the way and others being moved out of the way by those that had already.

I stopped as the door creaked open, "...Do- was someone expecting me!? Is someone play a joke or something!?" I snapped at a guard, "Come on, the fuck is going on here!?"

The guards said nothing, leaving me to sneak into the throne room. The walk burning into my mind as I remarked at the stained glass I'd seen in some form or fashion. It was harrowing, the feeling of oppression that followed me up to the throne, not stopping as I found myself next in line behind a nervous looking griffon.

The princess atop the throne before me looked bored, the human guards to her right and left adopting an equally calm expression. But as the griffon left, I felt something take hold of me.

I stared up at Celestia, slowly stepping forward and taking off my hood. I let the hood rest against my shoulders and smiled up at my waiting mate. "Celestia...I'm back." I muttered, causing her to shoot upright and stare down at me. "...Sorry if it's a bad time...but I figured I'd better apologize for falling asleep on you when we last talked."

Celestia's jaw nearly hit the floor. "Able!?"

I smiled, "Mostly. I don't know how the other me is gonna like it...but--"

"--He's just going to have to deal with it." I said, unable to control my own voice. "What the fuck!?" I snapped, stumbling back, "What the hell was that, what did I just say!?"

The princess on the throne stared wide eyed at me. "...Able, what is--"

I snapped, hearing that name, even if it was a nickname made me sick. "My name is Sam Bannen! I don't--"

Celestia stomped her hoof, "Guards, detain him and alert the hospital!"

I darted my eyes between the two armed guard. "What!? You can't do this!" I snapped, stepping back.

I found myself standing a few feet back from where I was standing, the constant blackouts causing me trouble. "Celestia...can I have some water or something?"

I watched the two guards walk up to me, "Oh...this again." I turned around, letting the guards take my wrists. "Please tell me the dungeon got an upgrade since I've been gone.

I found myself handcuffed, being lead gently down the hall. "What- how did I- What the fuck is this!?"

A strange ghastly voice broke through my panicked thoughts. "This is my life now, not yours. I'd appreciate it if you just went to sleep for a while."

I felt my heart race like mad. "Somebody, help me!" Next Chapter: Beep Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 38 Minutes