I let out a long sigh, the burdens of modern life horrid and straining. The dull endlessly droning music was boring through my head as I waited in a long line of ponies. "...God damn everything." I hissed, tapping my foot on the floor of the shop, ponies snickering and laughing at me. And I really couldn't get mad at them. I was dressed in stupid clothes, a pair of socks with no shoes, just everything I could scrounging up from a human obsessed pony's home. I felt like an idiot, but I felt, and I was in control. I'd been through enough, from storming the beaches of Canada, losing fingers and organs in war, falling into a pony prison, finding a friend in a pony I'd never expected to care, ruined it all with one stupid night, and torn a hole in reality to get back.

I reached the counter, slapping down a box of condoms. "...I'm taking these." I hissed, hand tapping on the counter.

The pony behind the counter wore a dull expression, snowy white hair and a grey coat. "...Gotta pay for that...." She mumbled, eyes glazed over as she leaned her head up and let out a sharp yawn. "Can't just--"

"I'm taking these." I clarified, grabbing the box, "Mark it...."

The pony behind the counter just stared at me, then to the box, then back to me. "Eh...who ya banging?" She asked, levitating the box to a small pad on the counter, "Or are these just for--"

I snatched the box away from her, "Your princess." I growled, fed up with the world outside myself.

The mare behind the counter just nodded. "Awesome...sounds hot."

I stopped dead before I could reach the door. "... Hot?" I turned to the pony behind the counter. "Are you kidding me?"

The pony just sat there, staring at me. "No...you look alright, and Celestia is, I'd tap that flank...tap it hard."

I looked around, the shop emptying out as I sauntered over to the counter. "You think me, fucking your leader, you princess, the mare everyone loves, is hot?"

The pony nodded, her bagged eyes only half open as she did. "Yeah dude.... Why you walkin' over? Am I gonna get in on this?"

I pressed myself against the counter. "Are you kidding me right now?" I leaned over the shorter pony. "You think this is a good thing!? You don't even care if I--"

"Dude...are we gonna like...make out." She asked, genuine in her question. "I should probably close up if we are.... If your breath smells I got like...gum and stuff--"

I cocked my head to the side, "Who the hell would hire you?"

The mare shrugged. "I don't know. I end up behind counters so many times, I don't even know how, but it pays."

I grabbed my hair. "I- you- I fucked your princess in the ass! How you feel about--"

"I'm wet...." She stated, laying her cheek on her hoof. "Seriously...that sounds like...super awesome. Did you moan? Please tell me you moaned."

I felt my cheeks flush with heat. "...I- I didn't...."

"Yeah you did...I bet you did." The mare grew a slick smile, leaning over the counter and popping my chest with her hoof. "Panting...heaving, stabbing that big white butt with your pole. You moaned...she moaned, oh god I bet you two were so sweaty after it." The mare propped her face up on the counter. "Oh man...that's fucking hot...."

I took a step back, my hands refusing to clamp down on the box of condoms. "Um...what's your name?"

"Treble." She stated, "Now...tell me--"

"I'm going to go far away...and if I hear your name...I'm going to turn around and keep walking." I backed out, towards the door.

"Oh dude, wicked boner." She cooed, laying her chin across the table. "I knew you--"

"Far away." I stated, covering my groin with the condoms and pushing the door open with my back. "Never talk to me again...."

The mare crawled up onto the counter. "I don't have to talk...but you'll have to gag me."

"Jesus Christ...." My dick was jammed so hard into the shorts I was wearing I was sure I would slash my cock on the zipper. "Just, go away--"

"You're still here...." She cooed, rolling onto her back, "Come on...bring Celestia...we could--"

"Fucking hell!" I swung around, nearly snapping my wood on the doorframe. "I can't, I can't, I died, I came back, I killed, I- I just can't!" I shouted to myself, walking awkwardly towards the library. "God damn it Celestia, your ponies are freaks!" Next Chapter: Hold Me Estimated time remaining: 28 Minutes