Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.
Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.
But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.
Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.
Twilight Sparkle is getting tired of this nonsense in the papers, constantly writing things about her inane day to day activities. So she's going to do something about it...
Having defeated the scourge of news stories about her banal personal life, Twilight must now face a far greater and more embarrassing threat: News stories about her love life.