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The Worst Bakers in Equestria

by Bob From Bottles

Chapter 29: Chapter Twenty-Five - The Contest - A behind the Scene Look behind the Scenes

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Rainbow Dash was the first one back to the waiting area. She fluttered around the room, but it was obvious that Sweet hadn’t come back yet. Rainbow Dash landed and went to the fresh bowl of punch. The other competitors were beginning to enter the room, including that cheater, Trixie. Rainbow Dash calmly sipped her punch. All she had to do was wait a little longer.

~~~

Dinky was looking up at Luna with widening eyes. As much as Luna hated to say it, she just couldn’t say ‘No’ to being asked if she really was a super hero from such a sweet little unicorn.

What was Celestia going to say when rumors began to spread of the super hero sisters who ruled Equestria? Probably laugh and start shouting ‘Up and away!’ whenever she started flying. Luna laughed quietly to herself. They would probably get matching costumes and start showing up in random towns and villages, asking if there was any crime needing to be solved. Snuggle Cakes would break out of the dungeons and become a reoccurring villain. Maybe some ponies would even start up a villainous league to fight against them. Eventually, Luna and Celestia would retire and take on mentor roles after training a new group of heroes to take their places.

Luna blinked. She really needed to find some more coffee. Or sleep.

~~~

Trixie stood as far away from Rainbow Dash as she could. The pegasus was good, as much as Trixie hated to admit. Even with poison joke, this wouldn’t be easy. A lot of determination and a little bit of luck. Madam Soufflé wasn’t kidding.

The bad luck hadn’t returned yet. Trixie was nervous about that. She wouldn’t give up, though. She couldn’t give up. Not after being on stage again. The lights, the cheering audience, the applause. It wasn’t a magic show, but it was performing. Trixie hadn’t realized how much she had been missing the adoration of an audience. She laughed to herself. She really did have a big ego, but she was going to control it this time. At least until she moved up to performing in Canterlot where the nobles were known to shower performances in diamonds. Then all bets were off.

Rainbow Dash kept looking her way. What worried Trixie was that Rainbow Dash was smiling. She knew. That could be the only reason. Trixie took a calming breath. She figured that her big confrontation with Rainbow Dash would happen sooner or later. It now looked like it was going to be sooner.

~~~

Twilight followed the total stranger in front of her. That sounded weird, so Twilight changed it to her following her mentor, who was in disguise. That still sounded weird, so Twilight again changed it to her following Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, Princess of the Sun, Bringer of the Dawn, her loving mentor who was like a second mother to her, who was, for some reason, pretending to be a unicorn named Sunshine.

Twilight then decided to just try and stop herself from screaming in frustration.

Twilight was led to the competitors’ waiting area. Her friends were already there and crowded around Rainbow Dash. Instead of going to them, Twilight followed ‘Sunshine’ to a group of three ponies: Derpy, her daughter, and ‘Morning Dew.’ Twilight stared at Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, Princess of the Moon, Bringer of the Dusk, a pony she hadn’t even seen in nearly a year, who was, for some reason, pretending to be an earth pony with coffee beans on her flank.

~~~

Luna was feeling uncomfortable under the stare of Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic, most faithful student of her sister, a pony she hadn’t even said hello to since a party nearly a year ago.

“Hello,” Luna said.

“Hi,” Twilight said.

Luna scraped a hoof on the floor and looked around. This was very awkward. Her ears popped as her sister cast a privacy spell.

“Thank you for playing along, Twilight,” Celestia said with a smile and nod. “It would have been very troublesome if my disguise had been revealed. I suppose you have some questions?”

Twilight looked from Luna to Celestia to Derpy to Dinky then back to Celestia. She cleared her throat. “What is going on? Why are you here? And why the disguise?”

Celestia laughed. “Directly to the point. That’s one of the many things I like about you. I am here to watch my sister compete and at the request of an old friend. Luna is here to compete and to try and find out on her own what causes the bad baking magic. Derpy was here to compete, though I expect she’s now here to support her friend. Dinky is here because she was riding on Derpy’s back, and you’re here because you followed me.”

Twilight blinked then spoke. “So... you really are just here to enjoy yourself and not have ponies flaunting over you all night?”

“For the most part, yes.”

Luna couldn’t stand it anymore. “Twilight?” she said. Once Twilight’s attention was on her, she continued. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything you’ve done for me, and because I haven’t said it enough.”

Realization came to Twilight. “Oh. You're welcome, but you don’t need to thank me again. We were all happy we could help you. Though, I guess if you really wanted to show appreciation... maybe stop by Ponyville sometime? I know Pinkie has been wanting to throw another party for you.”

“I’ll do that.”

Luna smiled. One down, five to go. It hadn’t been so bad. She felt silly for having put it off for so long. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were in the room too, but Luna wanted to speak with all of them together. Maybe at Pinkie Pie’s party.

“Twilight, Derpy?” Celestia said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need to speak with my sister privately for a while.”

“Oh, uh... of course. I’ll speak with you later, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.” Twilight started to bow then caught herself. Instead, she just waved and walked towards her friends.

Derpy suddenly had her hooves around Luna’s neck. “Bye for now, Miss Luna. I’ll be cheering for you from the audience!”

Derpy and Dinky left, leaving Luna alone with her sister.

~~~

“You were amazing! So totally awesome! You are the best worst baker ever!” Scootaloo said as she ran circles around her idol.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said. “I am pretty awesome.”

“And so modest as well,” Applejack said with a chuckle. “Still though, I have to admit, that was an amazing display. When that taste tester started chuggin’ milk, why, I nearly lost it.”

Rainbow Dash laughed along with her friend. “We shouldn’t be laughing, though. That taste tester is being treated for second-degree tongue burns.”

“Oh... Well shoot. Now I feel bad for laughin’. Is she going to be OK?”

Rainbow Dash tried to keep a straight face but failed and started cracking up.

“Wha? Oh! Rainbow, were you pullin’ my leg? You had me all worried somepony was hurt.”

“Nah, she’s fine. Those taste testers are tough. They have a bet going on to see which of them has the worst reaction to the baked goods.”

Applejack noticed Twilight approaching. “Well looky who it is. Hey there, Twilight. Have a nice chat?”

Twilight walked up to her friends. “I had a kind of weird but still nice chat,” she said.

~~~

Luna looked at her sister, who was sitting on a cushion. Celestia wiggled around as she tested the strengths and softness of various parts. Finally, she came to a rest and looked up at Luna.

“These are very comfortable cushions. Who do you suppose makes them? I wonder if they make any big enough for my normal size...”

“Sister?”

“Hmm?”

“Not to be rude but... is this what you planned to talk to me in private about?”

Celestia laughed. “No, but that would make for an interesting conversation. I was wondering how your research was going. Make any headway?”

“Somewhat. I think I know enough to make an accurate enough guess...” Luna looked around. Even under a privacy spell she still felt uncomfortable talking about this. “Sister... this magic...”

“Is not going to cause the end of the world. I know you might be worried, but I have paid close attention to it. Hardly anypony can do anything major with it except for us.”

“Unless they were assisted by an outside force.”

Celestia sighed and looked down. “I take it you’ve had a run-in with one of the null-stones?”

“Yes and—wait, one of? There’s more than one?”

“Three, but the WBEs only have two of them.”

“Had two. I destroyed one.”

Celestia looked at Luna in shock then slowly started to smile and laugh. After a minute, she began to get control of her laughter. “Oh... the WBE chair-holders are going to have a fit when they hear about this. I can’t wait to tell Sweet. Though, I expect they’ll try to blame her.”

“They won’t get very far. Several ponies were watching me when I crushed it. Still, what are these null-stones and why keep them around if they’re so dangerous?”

“They were an early attempt to remove the bad baking aura from ponies that didn’t want it. Only problem was that they required a constant stream of magic to activate, and once you stopped, all the bad luck, and then some, came rushing back. I haven’t destroyed them yet because no incident has occurred to warrant it. They do have some uses, but I agree with Sweet that they shouldn’t be used in this competition.”

Luna stared at Celestia in disbelief. “No incident? Sister, today a moronic unicorn was able to completely subdue me by accident with one of those things. And that is completely embarrassing to admit now that I say it out loud. How is this not a serious threat?”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Tell me about this.”

~~~

“And then, once it looks like things are going to turn out okay? You open yourself up and let the bad luck in,” Rainbow Dash said. She was enjoying all the attention. Scootaloo was hanging on her every word, having borrowed a pencil and paper from Twilight so she could take notes.

“How do you open yourself up?” Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom was listening with interest, though she had no idea what Rainbow Dash was trying to explain. Twilight and Applejack had gone to get something to drink and were talking by the punch bowl.

“I’m not really sure how I do it. It’s like flexing a muscle in your mind. But when I do it right, boom!” Scootaloo jumped with fright then smiled. “Crazy stuff happens.”

“That’s amazing!” Scootaloo said. “You have to teach me how to do it!”

“Sure, maybe tomorrow. That is if I’m not too tired from being up all night polishing my trophy. For now, just keep practicing the stance I showed you.”

Scootaloo stood with her chest out, head held high, and wings flared. “Like this?” she asked.

“Perfect, you’re a natural.”

~~~

“This punch sure is somethin’ else,” Applejack said after she set her cup down.

“I like how it’s sweet, but not too sweet,” Twilight said then took another sip. She looked up and spat her punch back into her cup.

“Somethin’ the matter, Twilight,” Applejack asked, suddenly worried.

“Don’t look now, Applejack. Royal Blue is over by that wall.”

“Who?” Applejack looked around and spotted Royal Blue. “Oh, the ink pony.”

“He’s not just ‘the ink pony.’ He’s The Ink Pony. His inks are famous in Canterlot. I used them during all my time at the academy. All my friendship reports are done in his ink.”

“So if you’re such a fan, go and talk to him.”

“I can’t just talk to him. What would I say? What would I—ah!”

Applejack butted Twilight forward with her head. “Come on, fanfilly. Time to go meet your hero.”

Twilight started walking rather than have Applejack push her the whole way. In a few moments, she was standing before Royal Blue and hyperventilating. “I love your ink!” Twilight yelled.

Royal Blue stared at Twilight and slowly raised an eyebrow.

Applejack chuckled. “You’ll have to excuse my friend. What she means to say is that she’s a big fan of your ink. Now you two play nice. I’m gonna go back to chattin’ with Rainbow.”

~~~

“Hey,” Apple Bloom said. “Who’s that Twilight is talking to?”

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight and Royal Blue standing facing each other.

“That’s RB,” Rainbow Dash said. “RB stands for Royal Blue. He’s kind of my rival, but he doesn’t seem very motivated this year. I think I may have went a little too hard on him earlier.”

“I’m gonna go see what they’re sayin’,” Apple Bloom said as she trotted off.

Scootaloo looked at her friend then up at Rainbow Dash.

“Go ahead and see what they’re up to, Scoots,” Rainbow Dash said. “All this talking has gotten me thirsty. I’ll give you some more pointers later.”

Scootaloo smiled and ran off after Apple Bloom.

~~~

Royal Blue continued to stare at the hyperventilating Twilight.

“Big fan! Ink!” Twilight said as she began to rock woozily on her hooves.

“Easy now,” Royal Blue said. “You don’t want to pass out. It’s always a pleasure to meet one of my fans.”

“I’m one of your fans!”

“Er... yes.”

Royal Blue began looking around for a way to end the conversation without coming off as rude. He then noticed two fillies approaching.

“Hey, Twilight. Hey, Mr. Blue,” Apple Bloom said. “Whatcha talkin’ about?”

“Miss Twilight here is apparently a big fan of my ink, though I don’t know much else beyond that,” Royal Blue said.

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes as she looked at Royal Blue. “That’s strange,” she said. “If you’re an ink seller, then how come you got a bunny for a cutie mark?”

Twilight stared at Apple Bloom in horror then back up at Royal Blue, who had a hoof on his forehead and was slowly shaking his head.

“Young lady,” Royal Blue said. “I assure you that my cutie mark is not, as it has been pointed out to me so many times today, a bunny. It is a jar of ink and a bundle of quills.”

Scootaloo turned her head then said, “That’s so cool. If you turn your head and squint a bit, it does look like a jar of ink and a bundle of quills.”

“As I was saying... I am an ink maker. A skill that has been in my family for generations. My siblings, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncle, cousins. All of us have special talents that have to do with ink.”

“That’s a lot like my family,” Apple Bloom said. “’Cept with us, it’s apples. Everypony in my family has an apple-based cutie mark. ’Cept for me. I tried, but I don’t think my special talent has to do with apples at all.”

“That’s odd,” Royal Blue said as he scrunched up his face in thought. “I don’t suppose you were adopted?”

Apple Bloom stared up at Royal Blue and drew in a sharp breath. She started to whimper and back away as her eyes grew watery. She turned and ran as her tears began to flow.

“Why are you such a jerk?” Scootaloo yelled as she bucked Royal Blue in the leg and chased after her friend.

Royal Blue rubbed his leg and said to Twilight, “This is why I’ve never had foals of my own. I am terrible around children.”

Twilight hadn’t moved a muscle since Apple Bloom had said Royal Blue’s cutie mark looked like a bunny. Royal Blue sighed.

“Hey!”

Royal Blue looked up to see a scowling orange mare stomping towards him. He gulped and started to back away.

“What’s this I hear ‘bout you tryin’ to tell my sister she’s adopted?”

“Ma’am, I’m terribly sorry. It just slipped out. Sometimes I don’t think ahead and—”

“Darn tootin’ you don’t think. I don’t take kindly to those that make my kin cry!”

“I assure you. I had no intention of making your sister cry.”

“You keep talkin’, and all I keep hearing is you askin’ to be hoofed in the face.”

Royal Blue continued backing up until he reached a corner. He raised a foreleg across his face and closed his eyes.

“Please don’t hoof one of my performers in the face until after this festival is over, thank you,” a voice said.

Applejack turned around to see a unicorn in a red dress. She looked back at Royal Blue. “You better watch out. I got my eye on you, mister.”

~~~

Rainbow Dash watched the enraged Applejack coming back. Royal Blue had really put his hoof in his mouth that time. He was lucky Sweet had shown up when she did or else Applejack may have made that phrase literal.

Apple Bloom was sitting on a cushion and sniffing. Scootaloo was trying to cheer her up. Applejack walked up to her. “Hey now,” she said softly. “No need to be cryin’. You ain’t adopted. I was there the day you was born. Now dry your eyes. Let’s get you some punch.”

Apple Bloom sniffed. “Okay,” she said weakly.

Rainbow Dash was alone then. She shook her head. Applejack could take care of Apple Bloom. Twilight... still hadn’t moved, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad sign. What was important now was that Sweet was here. It was time to expose a cheater.

~~~

Trixie was staring at herself in a mirror. She lifted her hat with a hoof. The poison joke rash was still there, but her bad luck wasn’t. It wouldn’t be much longer before the halftime show ended and she had to bake again. Without the bad luck, she didn’t stand a chance. She briefly considered smashing the mirror. That was supposed to bring seven years of bad luck, but likely not the type of bad luck she needed. Perhaps this was as far as she went? Trixie shook her head. She refused to give up. She wouldn’t disappoint the audience. She would find some way to entertain them.

Rainbow Dash was approaching with Madam Soufflé. Trixie sighed. It was time. She turned away from the mirror. Rainbow Dash suddenly flew at her. Trixie closed her eyes and felt wind blow against her face. She opened her eyes and saw her hat in Rainbow Dash’s mouth.

~~~

There they were. Clear as day. Rainbow Dash had Trixie right where she wanted her.

“Would you mind giving me my hat back?” Trixie said.

Rainbow Dash spat the hat at Trixie’s hooves then pointed at her head. “You see?” she said to Sweet. “Poison joke spots. It’s turning her good baking into bad baking... or something... I don’t know how it works, but it’s cheating!”

“I know she entered the contest by way of poison joke. I allowed it,” Sweet said calmly.

“I’m glad you know, because now—wait... you allowed it?”

“Trixie has a very distinct way of baking. I let her compete with hopes that she could entertain the audience. She had not disappointed me so far.”

“But... she’s cheating...”

“And you still won the first round if I recall correctly. You’re lucky we started recording the event a few years ago. You performed so fast that nopony could clearly see what you did without the replay. In years past, you would have scored poorly for failing to entertain the audience.”

Rainbow Dash was shocked at how fast the conversation had turned around on her. The worst part was she knew she was disappointing Sweet by not having listened to her repeated advice. “Sweet... I’m sorry. You know how caught up in winning I get. Sometimes I forget what makes this important to you.”

“I know, Rainbow. I thank you for at least trying to honor my tradition. Honestly, though, it’s your competitive nature that keeps things interesting sometimes. You have tremendous, if unrefined, talent. The number of competitors in the preliminaries has doubled since your performance three years ago. I’m happy that so many ponies are looking at their bad luck as a gift instead of a curse. I haven’t liked seeing my festival become a competition, but you’ve helped bring back the entertainment that’s been missing.”

Sweet looked at Trixie. “And Rainbow can’t take all the credit. I’ve enjoyed your performance too. Though, I tend to stay away from dough monsters. It unnerves some ponies.”

Rainbow Dash’s mouth dropped open. “You can do that?” she asked. “That’s actually possible?”

Sweet laughed hard and wiped a tear from her eye. “One of these days, before I get too old, I’m going to have to write a book, revealing all my secrets. Expect the competition to get crazy after that. Although, I think Princess Celestia may name an ulcer after me if I do that.”

“So,” Trixie said. “I can keep competing?”

Sweet took on a hard look on her face. Trixie gulped.

Sweet said, “Trixie, your bad luck won’t have time to fully recharge in time for your next performance. I’m sorry, but I can’t delay the competition that long. If you bake again, it won’t be as big or flashy as before. Whatever happens would mostly be your own doing with short bursts of your poison joke helping. Knowing this, do you still wish to compete?”

“I do.”

Sweet turned the same look on Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, you have accused Trixie of cheating. What she is doing is technically against the rules, and she will be thrown out if you wish it. Do you still feel Trixie shouldn’t be allowed to compete?”

Rainbow Dash looked at Trixie. The show pony looked nervous but still held her head high. Trixie had made her look like a fool in front of her friends. She had shown up here acting all high and mighty. She constantly annoyed her. She was trying to steal her title. She was cheating.

But still, she wanted to make the audience happy.

“No,” Rainbow Dash said.

Trixie let out a held breath. Sweet smiled and said, “Thank you, Rainbow. Good luck in the next round. And to you too, Trixie. If you’ll excuse me, I should go speak with the other competitors. It also looks like Royal Blue may be having a nervous breakdown.”

~~~

Trixie watched Madam Soufflé leave. Her heart was pounding. She had done it, though. Somehow, she was going to be able to move on to the semi-finals. Though, without her bad luck to help her. Trixie wondered if this was all somehow a plan of Rainbow Dash’s to make her look bad. She looked at Rainbow Dash, who was holding out a hoof.

“Huh?” Trixie asked.

“It’s called a hoofshake. You know what one is, right?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Trixie said as she shook Rainbow Dash’s hoof.

“I don’t like you.”

Trixie felt herself getting angry and removed her hoof from Rainbow Dash’s.

“But,” Rainbow Dash said before Trixie could speak, “that doesn’t mean I should be treating you like I have been. I’m sorry, and… good luck.”

Rainbow Dash walked away and left Trixie to ponder what had been the strangest apology she had ever received.

~~~

“I see,” Celestia said once Luna had finished her summary of the events of the day. “Something will have to be done. Though, I won’t be able to remove the null-stone tonight without causing some suspicions. I think the best thing to do would be to keep our eyes and ears open to make sure there isn’t a repeat of today’s incident. I can’t imagine what would happen if the entire audience suddenly broke out into a musical number.”

Luna glared at her sister. Celestia smirked. “The null-stone is capable of completely immobilizing me, and you focus on a miscast spell forcing me to sing? Honestly.”

“I’m just sad I missed it, is all. Perhaps you can sing a bit for me?”

“What? N-no,” Luna said as she began blushing. “It was embarrassing.”

“In seriousness, though. I will be watching the null-stone carefully to make sure it isn’t misused. I’ll speak with Sweet later. I may have to arrange for the stone to be accidentally misplaced.”

Luna started to yawn then froze. Her sister stared at her. “Sister?” Luna said, a sense of dread welling up inside her. “You know how I always wondered how long coffee and magical aid could help me stay awake without me feeling any physical repercussions? I think I just discovered the answer.”

~~~

Rarity ran a hoof through her mane as she entered the waiting area followed by Fluttershy and an unstuck Sweetie Belle.

“Your mane looks fine,” Fluttershy said.

Rarity sighed. “Don’t remind me. It’s going to take hours to get it properly made up again.”

“Hey, guys!” Sweetie Belle said as she ran forward. “It’s great to—whoa! What happened here?”

Apple Bloom had puffy looking eyes and sat next to Scootaloo. Applejack was glaring angrily into the corner where a dark blue unicorn stallion was crouching with his hooves over his head. Twilight was unmoving with her mouth open. Rainbow Dash kept glancing at Trixie, then down at the ground.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said. “Did we miss something?”

Next Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Six - The Contest - Winning Is Easy. It’s Losing That Takes Talent Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 2 Minutes
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