“—be telling ye that yer too late! Me crew already be on their way. Soon, all the jewels and riches of this audience will be mine! Yarrr ha ha harrr!”

Spike growled and made a fist. “I should have realized you were a pirate. How could I have been so stupid? It was so obvious.”

Pinkie flipped over into a crouch and scraped a hoof menacingly along the floor. “We won’t let you get away with this, Regal,” she said.

“Oh ho ho... but I already have. As soon as me ship gets here, the plunderin’ will begin!” Regal said and then began to dance a pirate jig.

“Don’t start celebrating too soon,” Spike said. “You seem to have forgotten. Ponyville is nowhere near an open body of water.”

“I wouldn’t be a very good pirate if I let something trivial like the lack o’ a large body o’ open water be stopin’ me ship from plunderin’ an event as big as this one. Now if you’ll be excusin’ me, me ride be here!” Regal said as he jumped backwards and flew off into the air.

Spike and Pinkie ran outside the booth and watched Regal quickly ascending a rope ladder that was moving across the stadium. The duo followed the rope ladder up with their eyes. In the air was the strangest thing Spike had ever seen and the fourth strangest thing Pinkie had ever seen: a pirate ship tied to thousands of red balloons. Searchlights mounted to the ship turned on and began moving around the audience.

“Ponies o’ Equestria!” a loudspeaker blared from the passing ship. “This be Captain Regal Din o’ the Salty Seapony. We be comin’ for yer bits and yer jewels, not yer lives. If ye be cooperatin’, then nopony be gettin’ hurt. Me crew has already blocked off the exits, and me pegasi control the skies, so don’t be gettin’ no ideas o’ escapin’!”

With the announcement over, hundreds of pirates began to jump off the edge of the ship. Parachutes opened up, gently lowering the pirates through the sky. A stray breeze blew most of the pirates into the fields around the stadium, but some landed in the audience, and they were enough to start causing havoc.

Pinkie looked around at the pirates stealing loot from the frightened ponies. “Oh no!” she said. “Pirates are attacking the stadium! Looks like there’s only one thing to do. Are you ready, Spike?”

“Ready! I’ll be at home under my blanky—”

“No, Spike! There’s only one way to deal with this many pirates.”

Pinkie and Spike stood ready. They were each wrapped tightly in cloth that covered their entire bodies except for a slit around their eyes and a hole for their tails. They both had katanas strapped to their backs and several throwing stars along their belts. Their heads were held high. Their wills were unbreaking.

“Are you ready, ninja master Spike?” Pinkie asked, her headband blowing in the wind despite there being none.

“I can’t believe how many costumes you brought with you today,” Spike said, checking out his ninja gloves with spiked knuckles. “As cool as it is that you had a ninja costume and weapons in my size, I really have no idea how to use these. And another thing. Your outfit is bright pink. How are you going to sneak past anything?”

“Like the wind,” the pink ninja replied as she took off down the stairs. Spike sighed and hurried after Pinkie.

“The pink ninja stealthily moved through the frightened audience,” Pinkie said. “Her skills at manipulating shadows were unmatched. Though she passed within inches of many ponies, none were able to see her.”

The audience members watched in confusion as a bright pink pony ran past them, followed by a baby dragon.

“Pinkie? Uh... what are you doing?” Spike said with a worried note in his voice.

“The pink ninja cautioned her companion about speaking freely. Silence was their most powerful weapon. Ahead, the pink ninja saw the first of the enemy. A pair of pirates, stealing the hard-earned bits of the audience.

“Though her blood felt like it was boiling, the pink ninja remained calm. She silently recited an ancient oath as she quickly approached her targets. ‘I am the wind; I move without being seen. I am the clouds; I pass without making a sound. I am the dark; I am the bringer of doubt. I am the light; I am the bringer of truth.’ She finished the oath as she was upon her enemies.

“It passed in an instant. Though it felt like no more than a tap, the pink ninja had struck out at the pirate’s pressure points. Their hearts would explode in mere minutes, unless they began returning what they had stolen. With two pirates taken care of, the pink ninja rushed off to find her next target.”

The two pirates looked at each other, at the pink pony running away, then down at Spike, who shrugged and began chasing after the pink pony once again. Not wanting to take any chances, the pirates began to return the bits to their owners.

“The pink ninja landed. Cherry blossoms blew around her as three more of the pirates lay crippled at her hooves, wishing that they had chosen more honest work in which they were less likely to be attacked by a master ninja.”

The pirates looked at the pink pony and gulped. It was worrisome having somepony speaking so casually about their suffering under the hail of ten thousand arrows. There hadn’t actually been any arrows, but the pirates decided to flee before any showed up.

“I can’t believe this is working,” Spike said.

“The pink ninja chided her companion. Though he too was a ninja master, he still had much to learn.”

“That self-narration is still giving me the creeps.”

“The pink ninja did not understand what her companion spoke of. No matter. The pink ninja looked around the stadium. Though most of the pirates had been dealt with, there was still the problem of the ship and how to reach it. The pink ninja then had an idea. She ran off to put her plan into action.

“Through the stadium she ran, quicker and quicker. Her companion shouted after her to wait up, but the pink ninja could not wait. She knew that each second that went by was another second between when she had started and when she would finish. Her companion shouted that she wasn’t making any sense and to please stop narrating what he was saying for him.

“The pink ninja prayed it would still be there. She threw open the doors and stared into the room. Hope filled her eyes as she spied what she had been looking for. Her companion asked why there was a cannon in this room. Was the pink ninja planning on firing upon the pirate ship? He couldn’t see any cannon balls. He asked the pink ninja why she was dragging the cannon out of the room. He began to grow worried when the pink ninja didn’t answer him.

“The cannon was aligned and the fuse was lit. The pink ninja’s companion again asked what she was planning on firing. She answered by grinning at her companion. Her companion had sensed where her train of thoughts was going and had tried to flee, but the pink ninja was too quick for him. Into the cannon, her companion went. Then, the pink ninja jumped in too.

“The explosion was nearly deafening. The air tore at the duo as they sailed higher and higher, the pirate ship rapidly approaching. The pink ninja’s companion shouted to watch out and braced for impact but the—oof! Th-the pink ninja... knew how to... to take hits. She unstuck herself from the wall... of the pirate ship’s cabin and d-decided to wait a few minutes... for all the birdies to fly away.”

Spike waved his hand in front of Pinkie. She was looking pretty banged up. Her plan had worked, though. They were now on Regal’s pirate ship. Somewhere inside Regal waited. If this attack was to be stopped, he would have to be taken care of.

“The... the pink ninja began to regain her senses.”

Spike rolled his eyes. Here he went again. Pinkie shook her head.

“The pink ninja scolded herself. It had been an amateurish mistake, crashing into a wall after being launched from a cannon. She resolved to punish herself later. Ten thousand push-ups once she got home. The pink ninja stealthily made her way into the ship’s interior.

“The pink ninja’s companion continued to grow annoyed at her constant narrating. He told the pink ninja to be quiet and let him do his own talking. It was then that he began to grow fearful. How was it that the pink ninja was able to say what he was thinking, sometimes even before he finished thinking it? Her companion then realized that the pink ninja could read his thoughts. He quickly tried to think about something else, anything else, just to get the pink ninja out of his mind. The only thing he could think of though, was an image of Rarity, feeding him gemstones. Her companion blushed and groaned, knowing his most private thoughts were at the beck and call of the pink ninja, and worse still, she was saying them out loud for anypony to hear.

“The pink ninja then saw her greatest challenge before her. Two pirates were guarding a large door. These weren’t just any pirates, though. These were the pirate elites, Regal’s best-trained men. That could only mean Regal was on the other side of this door.

“Into the shadows, the pink ninja and her companion moved. Ever so stealthily and quietly they crept forward. One little peep and the pirates would be upon them. The pink ninja’s companion rolled his eyes. Suddenly, the impossible happened! The pirates turned and looked at the pink ninja.

“These pirates truly were elite to have been able to sense the pink ninja. She would have to use her ninja magic to escape. She quickly made hoof signs and summoned forth a wave of darkness. With the pirates suddenly staring in confusion, the pink ninja dashed through the door, leaving the pirates wondering just what in the hay was going on.

“Regal was waiting for them. He turned and laughed his pirate laugh and attempted to mock the pink ninja’s efforts, not knowing that he had already failed and all his pirate minions below had been vanquished. The news infuriated Regal. He began to shout several things, then to grow increasingly annoyed at the pink ninja. Every time he opened his mouth to say something, he would stop and glare at her. Where was Regal’s gloating now? His smug attitude? Had he realized the pink ninja had already won and—”

“Enough!” Regal yelled, stamping a hoof. “Stop narrating me actions! I be a big pony fully capable of providing his own narration, thank you very much.”

Pinkie sat down and placed her front hooves together. “Ten thousand lotus blossoms reflecting off of still water in the sunlight,” she said.

Regal and Spike looked at Pinkie in confusion. Regal licked his lips and spoke. “Uh... what be that?”

“The pink ninja activated the ship’s self-destruct mechanism while Regal was distracted.”

“Wha? No! Me ship's self-destruct mechanism be activated while I be distracted. I didn’t even be knowing I had one of those. I need to stop it from going off! Curse you, pink ninja! Ya haven’t been seeing the last of me. This I swear.”

“The pink ninja turned and ran, followed closely by her companion. The ship would be exploding at any minute.”

“Pinkie, you didn’t actually do anything. Nothing is happening!” Spike yelled.

“Through the corridors they ran, dodging steam vents and falling planks that were on fire.”

Spike sighed and chased Pinkie through her delusions.

“The pink ninja stopped. The ship had broken in two and there was now a large chasm in front of her. The pink ninja readied the last of her magic. She grabbed her companion and set him on her back despite his protests. Summoning the power of the wind, the pink ninja leapt.

“Time seemed to slow down as the pink ninja flew through the air. Explosions rocked the ship as the hallway she had just come from was engulfed in flame. The far side of the ship was too far away. She wasn’t going to make it! The pink ninja reached out, her hooves landing on the deck but her body fell over the side. She struggled to hold on. Her companion climbed up her back and stood on the deck. The pink ninja desperately reached out a hoof to him.”

Spike slapped his forehead as he looked at Pinkie, laying on the floor and reaching out a hoof to him. He grabbed her hoof and gave a quick tug.

“The pink ninja was saved. She thanked her companion for his quick thinking, but it wasn’t over yet. They still had to find a way off of this doomed ship.

“Up onto the deck they ran. The pink ninja looked over the edge. They would have to jump to safety. Her companion complained, wanting to know what the big deal was with falling earlier if they were just going to jump now. The pink ninja ignored her companion and instead threw him on her back and jumped over the edge.

“The night air was so cool and serene. The pink ninja felt she could fall like this forever. The noise from her companion told her otherwise. With a twist, the pink ninja’s outfit expanded into a parachute. Slowly, they fell, back towards the announcer’s booth.”

“I’m really happy that you weren’t making up that last part,” Spike said as he gripped tightly onto Pinkie’s neck.

“The duo landed safely. The pink ninja’s outfit twirled back together to cover her. They watched as the pirate ship flew away, never to be seen again. At least until the sequel.”

“Well, I’m sure glad that—”

“But wait! Little did the pink ninja realize she had walked into a trap. Gas suddenly began to fill the stadium. The pink ninja smelled it and knew it was too late. Amnesia gas! The pirates wanted everypony to forget about their failed attack. The pink ninja struggled against the memory-altering effects of the gas. She had to remember. She... had... to... what was I saying?”

“Beats me.” Spike said and looked down at himself. “Why are we in ninja costumes?”

“How strange,” Pinkie said, checking the outfit on one leg and then another. “Usually, I only wear my ninja suit when going on secret missions. I don’t remember going on a secret mission. Unless my secret mission was to steal my memory of my secret mission. But I don’t remember that either!”

“Whatever. Let’s get out of these things and get back to watching the halftime show.”

Author's Notes:

← I want to choose another intermission Onward to Chapter Twenty-Five →