“Welcome back all you bad baking fans! In case you have forgotten, this is Spike.”

“And Pinkie Pie.”

“Welcoming you to the semi-finals of tonight’s competition.”

“We really hope you enjoyed the halftime show of the Manehatten Marching Band along with the highlights and bloopers of the past years.”

“But enough about that. It’s time to welcome back our competitors and judges. So, Pinkie. What do we have in store for us this time?”

“Well, Spike. The theme chosen for the semi-finals is a personal favorite of mine. It’s the versus round! Two ponies will square off against each other with the winner of each match going on to the finals! It’ll be head to head. Snout to snout. Eyeball to eyeball... Although, that sounds really uncomfortable.”

“Yes it does, Pinkie. In addition to the competitors competing against one another, they will also be sharing the same cooking space, the same ingredient rack, and the same oven. The points from the quarter-finals have been reset. The competitors can now earn up to five points based on how well they bake together.”

“Or how well they don’t bake together.”

“And another five points will be awarded based on the looks of their finished bake goods. They will have thirty minutes to prepare their baked good then an additional thirty minutes to decorate. As always, the finished product must be inedible. To keep things fair, everypony will be baking the same thing: cakes!”

“Oooh, I love cakes! Except I probably won’t love these cakes, seeing as they would likely put me into an emergency room.”

“Can our competitors keep their cool or will tempers run hot? Find out soon in the semi-finals! Let’s turn things over to our judges and find out which ponies will be facing each other.”

Luna was in trouble. Not a ‘she was so tired that her body could not long physically stay awake’ trouble. That was still a few hours away. It was more of a ‘just realizing that she was competing in a competition that she no longer had a reason to be competing in’ trouble.

Derpy didn’t need the prize anymore. Luna never wanted the prize. Her research into the bad baking magic was as complete as it was going to get. She just wanted to go back to the palace, cancel her Lunar Court for the night, and sleep for about twenty-four hours. Instead, she was standing in a field being told that she would be competing against somepony named Royal Blue.

Luna’s choice was obvious: she would throw the match. She would be subtle, though. She would have to get herself disqualified. Accidentally leaving the stage sounded like a good, plausible way. She would just get a little too caught up in her baking then, oops, oh well, always next year, good night. Luna smiled. This was a good plan.

“Are the contestants ready?” a judge asked.

“...Yes,” Royal Blue said.

“I am,” Luna said.

“Go!”

Luna decided to take her time and let Royal Blue get ahead of her. That way, they wouldn’t be in each other’s way the whole time. She had an hour to mix, bake, and decorate her cake. She wasn’t sure why she had to bother with decorating. Maybe to give the taste testers false hope before cutting into it?

The problem with Luna’s plan soon became evident. Royal Blue was also taking his time, and they were now getting in each other’s way. Luna became annoyed. She was going to let this pony get into the finals. He should at least be moving with a bit more excitement. Luna wanted to tell him to hurry up and bake so she could lose, but that would be a bad idea with the sound amplification spell on the stage.

Luna mixed her batter and had it spray in the air like a water spout: a neat trick that the audience seemed to enjoy. Royal Blue’s batter was on fire. He kept on stirring it, not seeming to notice.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked when Royal Blue’s spoon ignited.

“I can feel her staring into my soul,” Royal Blue said as he dropped his spoon and let it succumb to the flames.

Luna could think of many ways to respond to that ranging from asking what he meant to taking a few steps away. She decided to go with, “Huh?”

“That orange mare. She’s staring at me. I can feel it on the back of my neck. I have been judged and found wanting.”

There were probably several hundred orange mares here tonight, but Luna thought she knew which one Royal Blue was talking about. A quick glance into the stands confirmed that Applejack was indeed staring intently at Royal Blue. Whether she had soul gazing powers or not was debatable.

Spike cleared his throat. “They, uh... they do know everypony can hear them. Right?”

“Shh!” Pinkie said. “This is getting good.”

Luna looked around nervously. Her batter had added a second spray in the middle of the first. “I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she said.

Royal Blue looked at Luna. She involuntarily took a step back. Luna had heard of ponies going through midlife crises before. Royal Blue’s seemed to have come early and brought friends. He had a haunted look in his eyes. “I have had a very bad day,” he said.

“I’m sure it’ll get better soon,” Luna said with a nervous laugh. “Just think, if you get through this round and the next, you’ll get a trophy to take home to your bunny farm.” From the look Royal Blue gave her, it was clear that Luna had just said the wrong thing.

“Bunny... farm...?” Royal Blue said at a near whisper.

“Sick rabbit veterinarian? Bunny census taker? Uh... what was it the announcers said your job was? ...Oh! Ink maker! Ink maker?” Luna nervously tilted her head to look at Royal Blue’s flank. When she did, realization hit her. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I was looking at your cutie mark wrong. That’s neat. Did you know your jar of ink and bundle of quills looks like a bunny from the proper angle?”

Royal Blue turned and stepped off the stage. Luna felt her eye begin to twitch.

“Where are you going?” Luna yelled.

“Home. I... I need to rethink my life...”

Luna’s batter erupted and tilted towards her, covering her completely. A small amount of her magic kept the outline of her horn and wings from showing. When the shower of batter stopped, Luna spat some of it out and looked at the judges.

“Should I even continue?” Luna asked.

“Er... no. That’ll be fine. Congratulations on making it to the finals.”