Whether Fluttershy was awake or not was still up for debate.

The early sunrise trickled in peacefully through the mist dabbed windows, basking Fluttershy’s entire cottage in a comforting rosy glow. The damp of morning dew lingering in the air smelled wondrously of peaceful times, the happy chirruping of birds in the air rang at just the right level to be very calming, and the whole day just seemed too perfect to be real.

That, and as she sipped at her morning coffee, Fluttershy quietly noted that the entire horizon was mysteriously more bristling with heavy siege weaponry than usual. She watched the approaching everything for a while in mild interest as her pet rabbit glowered nervously out the window, eventually pacing back and forth.

“Yes, Angel,” Fluttershy took another peaceful draught of her steaming brew, blinking sleepily out at the steadily growing source of tramping hooves. “That would appear to be an army.”

Angel furiously began stacking as many vegetables in front of the window as he possibly could in order to board it up, eyes flickering anxiously back to the approaching militia.

“Yes, Angel,” she smiled calmly before sipping carefully at the hot potion of life. “That would appear to be a very nice ballista.”

The terrified rabbit became even more frantic in his attempts to whittle a carrot into a little orange katana.

It took hardly any time at all for the advancing army to arrive at Fluttershy’s cottage, surrounding it completely. As they drew closer and the stamping of so many bodies made it apparent that the oncomers surprisingly had no hooves at all, Fluttershy spotted a set of pleasantly colored banners waving in the wind. Griffons stood shoulder to shoulder, standing sternly next to each other in the morning light. Big, burly, and looking fresh from the Griffonian army, not a single one of them refrained from standing at attention. Masses of yellow-dressed griffons stood firmly in line, each one’s flowing robes garnished with one symbol or another.

A silence fell over the entire place.

Somewhere, the sound of a carrot being sharpened drifted through the air.

The leader of the clan, a tall tan griffon in a smartly adorned yellow cassock, wordlessly approached Fluttershy’s cottage door and knocked four times.

“Hello,” Fluttershy peacefully pried open the kitchen window and waved out, coffee cup in her other hoof. “Good morning.”

“The Blessed One Speaks!” the cassocked griffon crowed joyously, whose shouts were met by a multitude of others.

“Actually, I’m just Fluttershy,” Fluttershy admitted with a small smile. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“There is no need for denial!” the lead griffon declared loudly enough for most to hear.

“What did he say?” came a voice from the back of the robed army.

“I dunno,” said another. “I fink he said, ‘there’s greed for a mile’.”

“Don’t be stupid!” his mate replied. “He said, ‘the boars are named Lyle!’”

“No need for denial at all!” the lead griffon said a little louder, clearing his throat.

“Um, I haven’t denied anything, technically…” Fluttershy corrected him.

“Ha ha ha, of course not, oh Gracious One!” the cassocked griffon chortled awkwardly before turning slightly and muttering. “Kevin, lower the giant crossbow.”

“Might I ask what all the ruckus is for?” she calmly drained her coffee mug, leaning against the window as Angel attempted to shove a miniature orange sword into her hoof.

“We of the Order of Kind Feathers have heard of your exploits, oh Sagacious One!” their leader cried instantly, and was met by a chorus of ‘hail the Sagacious One!’ almost immediately afterward.

“I’m afraid that I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Fluttershy confessed.

“That is clearly because all has not been yet revealed to the cute and adorable Avatar of Kindness!” the griffon crowed again, which was met by a rousing bunch of cheers. Even a few ‘awws’ came through when she blushed, hiding behind her curtain of pink mane.

“Er… I think you might have the wrong mare…” she shifted awkwardly as their stares became more prominent. “I’m not really the avatar of anything.”

“Such is the humility of the Kind One!” sang the griffon’s leader, which was followed by joyous shouts of the same.

“Wha’ did he say?” came a familiar voice at the back.

“I fink he said ‘Butch is the frilly hotdog bun’.”

“OH, LONG HAVE WE SEARCHED FOR THEE, KIND ONE!” Cassock griffon’s voice raised again. “The time is nigh for you to take your place as the Avatar of Kindness and lead us into a new age of love and harmony!”

“I’m really certain that I’m not asleep anymore,” Fluttershy became more and more fretful as Angel tried to swing her hoof for her in an attempt to take down as many of them as possible. “And if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just go back to bed now-”

“Kevin, the giant crossbow of kindness, please.”

Nothing happened.

Albeit a fainting rabbit, but nobody noticed.

“… Kevin?”

“Eh, I believe it’s a ‘ballista’, Lord Niceington.”

“Oh, shut up, Kevin!” Niceington readjusted his cassock angrily. “You were calling it a crossbow, too!”

“Actually, I’ve had a change of heart!” Fluttershy said instantly as the massive weapon was pointed directly at her house. “I was just finishing off my morning coffee, and I would love to go with whatever you were saying that doesn’t involve destroying anything.”

“Such is the wisdom of the Kind One!” Niceington threw up his claws in rapturous joy. “She speaks the truth that carnage is not the answer!”

“Well, that isn’t quite what I said…” Fluttershy began. “But I suppose it’s agreeable enough.”

“My Avatar, my goddess!” the leader threw himself to his knees before her just as Angel began waving a tiny bottle of smelling salts in front of his own nose, wearily grabbing for the forgotten orange miniature katana. “We would be most pleased should you adjoin to your loving flock and lead us with your kind and wise ways!”

Angel began feverishly yanking her hoof away, which also went thoroughly unnoticed.

“Well…” Fluttershy tried to make it sound as if she were seriously considering it, even placing her little hoof on her chin for good measure as she slowly held her tongue between her teeth. “I don’t suppose it could hurt.”

Angel soon gave up, stomping away in despair.

Fluttershy was thoroughly surprised to see the cushioned throne erected within seconds, enormous green feathers waving royally before it.

Even more surprisingly, the throne itself looked to be nothing more than a comfy looking yellow sofa chair with a little paper sign hung on it that read ‘throne’ in blocky black letters. It was held aloft on poles by a team of six eager griffons, each one perked up and ready to go.

Niceington zealously bowed Fluttershy all the way to the ‘throne’, squads of robed griffons darting back and bowing similarly to carve a path for them. Fluttershy awkwardly made herself comfortable, which was unexpectedly easy, and sat up attentively.

“Well, all right then,” she smiled uneasily at the throng of adoring griffons. “Er… sorry, this doesn’t happen every day. Are we going somewhere?” Fluttershy asked as they began to march upon Niceington’s command.

“To Canterlot, your high adorableness!” the griffon stated proudly, popping the collar on his cassock a little more in pride. “To spread the word of your glorious kindness and sovereign rule!”

“Oh, now I see…” Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Wait, ‘spread the word’? Do you really need so many for that?”

“Not really,” Niceington smirked pompously, giving his wings a little ruffle. “That’s what the Ballistae of Kindness are for.”

“Oh. Oh, dear.”

A rabbit-y wail of anguish went utterly unheard as Angel vainly attempted to commit seppuku with his carrot.