The next day, I woked up as I heard the rooster crowing. I looked at Jonathan--who was still wrapped up like a mummy--and then I looked at Andrew. And believe it or not, he was sucking his thumb! I thought that was freaking hilarious, so I woke up Jonathan from his bestiality wet dream, and then we both took pictures of Andrew sucking his thumb. But as we were just taking pictures, a brown dog suddenly came into the house, jumped onto the couch, and started to lick my face. Applejack came down the stairs and said, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot ta introduce y'all ta my pet. This here's my dog, Winona; and she just loves ta meet new people. Winona stop botherin' our guest."

I then said, "It's OK, I like dogs." Her dog must've understood what I said, because right when I've said that, she started to lick me even more.

"That's funny," observed Applejack, "she seems ta like you more than yer friends."

"Well I'm just good with animals," I stated.

"Then you should love ta spend a day with my friend, Fluttershy," said Applejack, "she's just as good with animals as you are."

"Is that who we're going to be living with next?" asked Jonathan.

"Oh no, y'all going ta be livin' with..." she then stopped mid-sentence when she finally notice Andrew sucking his thumb. "What in tarnation is he doin'?"

I then said to her, "Oh, he's just sleeping like a baby."

And Jonathan added, "Get it? Because he's sucking his thumb."

As me and Jonathan were laughing our asses off, Apple Bloom had came trotting down the stairs and said, "Why's everypony laughin'?" when she finally saw Andrew sucking on his thumb, she joined in the laughter as well. She then called out, "Big Mac! Granny Smith! Come down here!"

As they were coming down the stairs, Granny Smith was like, "Dagnabbit, Apple Bloom, what did I tell you about wakin' us...?!" when she and Big Mac saw Andrew sucking his thumb, they immediatley forgot about Apple Bloom waking them up and focused all their attention on Andrew. Granny Smith then said, "Is that boy suckin' his...?"

"E'yup," Big Mac answered.

We all stood in silence for a while, until Applejack said, "Ya know, now that I look at it, it's actually kinda cute."

Jonathan then said, "If by 'cute' you mean 'freaking hilarious' then yes."

Not being able to contain it any longer, we all started to laugh--except for Applejack, who was trying her best not to laugh as well. But then all that laughter had finally woken up Andrew. As he woke up, he said to us, "Why are you all laughing?"

I was like, "Oh, um...well, let's just say that we have seen the funniest thing in our lives."

Then Apple Bloom blurted out, "And it has nothin' ta do with you suckin' yer thumb."

Applejack laughed nervously and said, "Apple Bloom, go ta school."

"But it's a weekend."

"Then just be quiet."

Andrew just stood there for a while until he said, "Is there a bathroom I can use?"

And then Applejack said, "Sure there is, sugarcube; right this way."

While Andrew was taking a leak, Apple Bloom chuckled a bit and said to me and Jonathan, "Ya know, I know that it's only been a day, but I sure do hope that you fellers stay."

Jonathan looked down at her and said, "Kid, I'd lower my expectations if I were you."

Then when Jonathan had gone off to get our stuff ready, I had a little private conversation with Big Mac. "Hey, Big Mac, you're very protective of your sister, right?"

"E'yup."

"Well I was just wondering, but let's say that there's a guy in Ponyville who's thinking about making a move on your sister. Now would you be OK with that?"

"Nope."

"And why's that?"

"Because if somepony ever tried ta lay a hoof on my sister, I'll stomp on every part of his body, shove him into a barrel, and throw him into the Everfree Forest!"

Wow, I thought to myself, he really can say more than one word! Anyway, after we had finally gotten our stuff together, I said to Andrew, "Hey Andrew, you remember last night when you told me that you wanted to start a relationship with Applejack?"

"Yes."

"Well I just asked Big Mac what he'll do if he found out if somebody was planning on making a move on his sister--and don't worry, I didn't use your name."

"What did he say?"

"Not much, just that he'll stomp on every part of your body and shove you into a barrel."

Andrew's mouth stood open as he looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. "So yeah," I said to him, "I would avoid confessing my feelings whenever he's around if I were you."

As Andrew just stood there, with that same shocked expression, Jonathan asked, "So who are we living with next?"

"I don't know," I said, "I just hope that it's not that blue pony."

But unfortunatley for us--though mostly me--it was her. Out of the blue sky came the blue pony known as Rainbow Dash. Oh God, not her! I thought to myself. While she was having some sort of private conversation with Applejack, I noticed that the door to Applejack's house was left open. After shutting it, I went back to the guys and was immediately confronting the blue menace herself.

"So you three are going to be crashing at my place today, huh?" she said to us with a smirk.

"I'm afraid so," I said.

"Well what're you three waiting for?" said Rainbow Dash, "let's get a move on!"

As we started to walk, Rainbow Dash had suddenly stopped us and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you guys doing?"

I then said to her, "Well obviously we're walking. You know, the opposite of flying." (That last bit I said was in reference to the fact that Rainbow Dash has been using her wings to float off the ground without even letting her hooves touch it once.)

"No,no,no, that'll take way too long to get to my place." said Rainbow Dash. "We can get there quicker if you three ride on me."

Like I would ever want to ride on a talking pony. I then told her, "Oh no, we're not riding on you. We got legs, we don't need some winged-horse to be transporting us around. Besides, we're probably too heavy for a delicate girl like you to carry."

She must've taken it as a challenge, because as we were walking away, Rainbow Dash said to herself, "Nopony calls me 'delicate'!" then next thing you know, me and the guys have found ourselves being suddenly lifted up to the air!

As we were in the air, I heard Rainbow Dash say, "'Too heavy', huh?"

Andrew then said to me, "I guess she told you."

To this I said, "Shut up."

While we were on Rainow Dash's back, me and the guys got to see Ponyville from a totally different perspective. "Couldn't get a view like this when you were with Twilight and Applejack, huh?"

"No," Jonathan said with a sense of awe in his voice, "we definitely never did anything like this before. But yet again, we never rode on a flying horse before."

"I believe the term you're looking for is pegasus," Rainbow Dash corrected him.

"Great, first I got corrected by a dragon, and now I'm getting corrected by a pegasus as well," Jonathan quipped under his breath.

Andrew then said, "So...you're Rainbow Dash, right?"

"The one and only," said Rainbow Dash, "I'm also known as the fastest thing with wings."

"Really," I said, "Then why are you flying so slowly?"

Rainbow Dash then gave me a very stern look and said, "What did you say?!"

Then I told her, "Well, you claim to be the 'fastest thing with wings', but if you ask me, I'd say that you're just being full of yourself."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you're nothing but a slowpoke!"

Her stern look then quickly turned to an expression that was a mixture of shock and anger, while the guys both had expressions that look as if they'd pissed themselves. Rainbow Dash then turned her head away, and I coulda sworn that I heard her teeth grinding. Jonathan then said to me, "Jeffrie, for God's sake, don't piss her off!"

And then I said to him, "Oh don't get your panties in a wad. I mean what's this turtle with wings gonna do? Go ludicrous speed?" when I called her a "turtle with wings" her face began to turn red from the strong rage that she was having towards me. But what really ticked her off was when I told her, "Oh my God, can't you go any faster?"

When she heard me say that, she was so pissed that she literally started to shoot steam out of her ears! She then looked at me and said, "Oh you want me to go faster? I'll show you faster!"

Jonathan then cried, "Wait, he didn't mean it!" but next thing you know, Rainbow Dash had went ludicrous speed--we've gone to plaid! While she was going ludicrous speed, I had to grab her mane so I wouldn't fall off, and Jonathan was having to grab me so he wouldn't fall off, and Andrew tried to grab Jonathan but he wasn't quick enough; luckily he grabbed onto Rainbow Dashs' tail or he would've plummeted to his death.

While he was grabbing onto her tail, Andrew noticed that she was about to ram into a tree. This made him cry out, "Rainbow Dash, look out!" but she was able to avoid it in time before she could crash and burn.

After hours of her doing loop de loops and spins, Jonathan cried, "Stop this crazy thing!"

I then said to Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow Dash, slow down!"

Then she said very smugly, "Slow down? I thought you wanted me to go faster?"

"I change my mind, slow down! For Gods' sake, Rainbow Dash, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!"

Rainbow Dash then landed on the ground and threw us off her back. As Andrew was being thrown into the air, he made that neighing sound that Norbert makes whenever Dagget bops him, and then he found himself ramming into a tree. Then as the tree was being pulled back, instead of it slingshotting him into the air, it just slammed him facefirst to the ground! When this happened, Jonathan was like, "Ooh, that's gotta hurt!"

Rainbow Dash then flew up to my face and said, "Don't you ever, ever, call me a slowpoke again!"

As she was flying away, I started to mock her behind her back, "'Don't ever call me a slowpoke again!', I'll call you whatever I want."

"I heard that!" cried Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?!" I retorted.

She then flew back towards us again and said, "You want me to take you boys for another spin?"

Jonathan and Andrew both covered my mouth as they said, "No, no, we're good!"

"That's what I thought."

When she was gone, the guys took their hands off of my mouth, and then Andrew said, "Jeffrie, for once don't be a smart ass!"

And then Jonathan added, "In fact, Jeffrie, just shut the fuck up! It's bad enough that you pissed the princess off, but it's only going to get worse if you piss the other ponies off!"

I then said to the both of them, "First of all, I can take that princess bitch anywhere, anytime. And second of all, don't ever tell me what to do!"

As we continued to walk, she said that we were at her place; but all I saw was technicolor landscapes. "OK, so where's your place?" I asked.

Then she said, "It's up there!"

We looked up and realized that her place is just a cloud. Andrew was like, "You live in a cloud?"

Then Rainbow Dash said, "Well duh! Where else is a pegasus suppose to live?"

"Ooh, a cloud house," I said, "great, now all we need is a magic ladder."

"You don't need a ladder," Rainbow Dash assured us, "I am your ladder!" then next thing you know, she started to carry us--this time not on her back, but with her hooves! When we were being carried, Andrew was in the back, Jonathan was in the middle, and I was in the front. When we were on top of Rainbow Dash's cloud house, I was about to take my first step on it. But then Rainbow Dash said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I stopped and said, "Oh, and why not?"

"Because while you're on my house, you'll need me to carry you."

"Oh no, I don't need you to carry me; I can take good care of myselllll...!" right when I stepped foot on the cloud house, I suddenly fell through and was falling to my death! While my eyes were closed, I could hear myself screaming, "Oh my God, Oh my God! I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!" but when I opened my eyes, I notice that I was just floating in the air. I then realized that it was because Rainbow Dash had caught me in time. Wow, I thought to myself, she wasn't lying when she said that she's 'the fastest thing with wings'.

Rainbow Dash was now carrying me with her hooves again--only this time, I was now behind her, Jonathan was in front, and Andrew was in the middle. Like Applejack and Twilight, the door to her house was small--but when we were having to walk through it, instead of banging our heads, the door just kinda crumbled a bit and somehow fixed itself. Anyway, as we were being led into her house, she said, "I tried to tell you that only pegasi can walk on clouds."

Andrew was then like, "Don't you mean 'pegasus'?"

"No," said Rainbow Dash, "when you're reffering to more than one pegasus, the plural term is pegasi."

"Great," I said under my breath, "just what we need; grammar lessons from a talking jackass."

"What was that?" asked Rainbow Dash.

I then shouted back to her, "I SAID, 'GREAT, JUST WHAT WE NEED; GRAMMAR LESSONS FROM A TALKING JACKASS!"

Rainbow Dash's ears were probably ringing by now. "OK, forget that I asked."

Anyway, she then started to give us a tour of her cloud house; which started with the living room and ended with her room. When we were in her room, Andrew noticed a poster that had these pegasi with blue jumpsuits on, and there was a big text that says: THE WONDERBOLTS! Andrew then said, "Hey Rainbow Dash, what's the Wonderbolts?"

Rainbow Dash was then like, "The Wonderbolts are only the most fastest, coolest, and bestest flyers in all of Equestria! And they'll become 20% more cooler when I join them!"

"Then why don't you just become one?" asked Jonathan.

"They don't just let anypony be a Wonderbolt," said Rainbow Dash, "you have to be accepted into the Wonderbolt Academy, and that's only if they think that you're Wonderbolt material."

"How do you know they even want to have you?" I said.

Rainbow Dash then looked me straight in the eye and said, "What's that suppose to mean?"

Jonathan was whispering, "Jeffrie, don't you dare say it!"

And then I said, "It means that they probably think that you're way out of their league; like you're just nothing but a pathetic little wannabe who'll never have what it takes to be one of them."

Rainbow Dash was silent for a while. Then she said, "You know, what you just said, makes me want to drop you right now. But I gotta admit, you've got some pretty big guts. I definitely can't say the same for your two friends."

Andrew and Jonathan were both like, "What?!"

Then I told them, "Oh shut up, you two chosed to be spineless pansies."

Rainbow Dash then said, "No wonder you're the leader."

As the hours went by, it was now night time, and boy was sleeping going to be weird for tonight. Before we all slept, I tried to change my current position while not making Rainbow Dash lose her grip. "What are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash.

I then told her, "Turning my back from Andrew; because if I were to sleep while facing him, I might do something weird. So I'm sleeping the other way."

When I finally changed my position, both mine and Rainbow Dash's noses were being smushed together. She then said, "OK, have it your way." And with that said, we all went to sleep.