The next day, I woke up and to my surprise I noticed that Andrew was snuggling Jonathan! I could hear Andrew saying fucked up shit like "Oh yeah baby" or "You know just how daddy likes it", and while I was hearing this, I couldn't help find this to be both funny and fucked up at the same time. I was going to wake up Spike and let him see it, but he wasn't in his basket--which was a real shame, because he probably would've laughed his little dragon ass off. But that however didn't stop me from taking out my cellphone and snapping a picture to show to Spike later on.

I then decided to wake up Jonathan; I poked his head and said, "Oh Jonathan, wakey-wakey eggs and bakey."

Jonathan looked up at me and said, "Good morning, Jeffrie. Why does my neck feel warm?"

"Look beside you and you'll see why."

He then turned around and was shocked to find Andrew's face smacked right next to his. What happened next was Jonathan screaming his head off and Andrew pushing him off the bed in fright.

"What happened?!" cried Andrew. "I heard a loud scream! Did somebody die?!"

Jonathan then said to him, "What the Hell, man?! What the Hell?!"

"What did I do?"

"You tell me; one minute I was sleeping and the next minute I find you wrapping your arms around me!"

"I did what?!"

"That's right, Andrew," I said, "you were snuggling him." I then showed them the picture on my cellphone and added, "You're boyfriend and boyfriend!" and then I started to laugh a bit until Jonathan tried to take my phone away from me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't get your panties in a wad. What did you think I was going to do, post it on Facebook? We're in a world that has no internet, and besides, everybody that we knew on Earth isn't going to find out because they probably think that we're dead! Now will you two relax and look on the brightside?"

"Where exatcly could there possibly be a brightside in all of this?!" Jonathan demanded.

Then I told him, "Well, you remember back on the cruise when we were talking about how we may never get to see eachother after we come back from our trip to Mars? But as you can see, fate has led us to a strange new world where we'll always have to stick together."

Andrew then said, "You know Jeffrie has a good point; one minute we were talking about how we may never see eachother again, and now we're in a situation that requires us to be together at all times."

Jonathan began to slowly ease up upon receiving this realization. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess that there is some good in being trapped in a world ruled by talking ponies. Except for the talking ponies. That's the one part that I might not get used to."

"Can't argue with that," I agreed.

Someone was then coming up the stairs; we turned around and saw that it was none other than Twilight Sparkle. "Oh good, you guys are awake," she said to us. "You three better start packing your things, because you're gonna be living with one of my friends today."

When she went back down the stairs, me and the guys got our clothes on, our things packed, and we were ready to go. When we came down the stairs, Spike walked up to me and said, "Well, I guess this is goodbye."

I didn't want the little guy to be sad, so I knelt down to his level and said to him, "Hey Spike, before I go, I want you to look at this." I then showed him the picture of Andrew snuggling Jonathan; and just as I predicted, he laughed his little dragon ass off!

"Come on you guys," cried Twilight, "we're gonna be late!"

"Is she always like this?" I asked Spike.

And then he told me, "Hey, just consider yourselves lucky that you only have to put up with this for one day; I've been putting up with this ever since I was hatched."

"Well thank God I'm not in your position; because to be honest, I wouldn't last a minute with her." I said that just for the sake of cheering Spike up--which worked by the way. Anyway, after Spike was finished chuckling at my joke, I said to him, "Well, goodbye Spike."

Before I even rose up a fraction of an inch, I felt Spike's claws tugging on my jeans. "Jeffrie," the little guy looked down at first, but after three seconds he managed to look me in the eye again to tell me, "thank you for helping me with the guest bed. Nopony ever offers me any assistance; I've mostly had to do all the work myself. You and Andrew didn't have to help me, by the way; but I still appreciate it anyway."

Placing my hand on his scaley shoulder, I said, "Hey, no one should ever have to do all the work by themselves. There's no shame in asking anyone for help; so don't be afraid to do so the next time you're having do some hardwork again." With that said, I finally got back on my feet and caught up with the guys.

As we were walking out of Twilight's place, Spike rushed out and said to Jonathan and Andrew, "Hope you two love-birds have a nice day!"

Jonathan turned around and was like, "Why you little scaly bastard!"

And he would've hurt Spike very badly if I hadn't grabbed him by his vest and stopped him. "Jonathan," I said, "what the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"But he..."

"I don't care, he's a dragon; that automatically makes him cool."

"SO?!"

"So if he's cool, that means we can't hurt him. Now come on, we got places to go and people to meet--ponies that is."

As we were following Twilight, Jonathan said to me, "So let me get this straight, you show no concern when I was practically being violated by Andrew, and let you do show concern when I'm about to hurt a dragon?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" I said.

Jonathan was then like, "You know Jeffrie, sometimes I wonder if being your friend is worth it."

And I was like, "You wouldn't be the first to think that."

While me and Jonathan were chatting, Andrew said to Twilight, "So, who are we going to be living with next?"

Then Twilight told him, "You're going to be living with Applejack: she and her family live in Sweet Apple Acres."

"She's the orange one who wears the cowboy hat and speaks in the southern accent, right?"

"Yep, that's her."

A few minutes later, we have finally arrived to--what I'm assuming is--Sweet Apple Acres. As I looked around, I could see nearly shit loads of apple trees. "Whoever lives here sure does love apples." I said to myself.

"Of course they do," Twilight replied. "After all, Applejack and her family are the ones who supply Ponyville with apples."

So yeah, we're basically going to be living with an apple rancher for today. As we were walking through, we saw Applejack kicking an apple tree. When she finally noticed us, she ran towards Twilight and said, "Well howdy, Twilight! What brings ya here?"

"Oh not much," said Twilight, "just wanted to let you know that it's your turn to let Jeffrie and his friends spend the day with you."

Applejack then grabbed my hand and she started to shake it very rapidly. "Well howdy there, sugarcube. I don't believe we've properly met; I'm Applejack, and this here's my home, Sweet Apple Acres. And if I remember correctly, you must be Jeffrie." She then grabbed Jonathan's hand and said, "And you must be Jonathan." And then she grabbed Andrew's hand and said, "And you're Andrew."

After Applejack had finally finished shaking our hands, Twilight said to us, "Well, I hope the three of you enjoy yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be heading back to the library." As Twilight was leaving, Jonathan--for some strange reason--was just watching her leave. Even when Applejack was giving us a tour of her place, he was still just standing there and watched where Twilight had left.

But after I had snapped Jonathan out of his trance, we were able to continue with Applejack's tour. "Now as you three may already know," said Applejack, "me and my family are the ones responsible fer supplyin' Ponyville with apples." As she was telling us this, she then noticed that Andrew was staring fixedly at her. "Uh...ya lookin' at somethin', sugarcube?"

Andrew was then like, "Oh, uh...I was just looking at your hat."

"What about it?"

"It...looks nice."

Applejack then started to blush and said, "Aw shucks, sugarcube, ya don't need ta flatter me."

Jonathan then said to me, "OK, why does she keep saying 'sugarcube'?"

Then I said to him, "I don't know; it must be a pony thing."

Anyway, after Applejack had finally finished her tour, she then decided to introduce us to her family. Like Twilight's place, her door was small, but we were still able to walk through it. Anyway, when we've entered her house, I saw three other ponies that were across from us. "Come on over, everypony," Applejack hollered. "We have guest!"

"She means everybody." I corrected.

She turned to me and said, "That's what I just said."

Anyway, first came this big red pony with some type of wood thing around his neck--I believe they call it a yoke. "Jeffrie and company," said Applejack, "This here's my big brother, Big McIntosh. But we usually just call him Big Mac fer short." When he shook our hands he didn't say much. So I'm assuming that he must be mute. Next came this little yellow pony with a pink bow around her head. "This here's my little sister, Apple Bloom." Me and the guys had to bend our knees a bit just so she could be able to shake our hands.

"Well howdy there," Apple Bloom greeted us. "You must be them fellers who fell out of the sky."

I then said, "Yeah, that's basically who we are."

Then Applejack said, "And the pony all the way over there is Granny Smith." She then pointed to a green pony who was sleeping on a rocking chair.

When we got closer, we all realized that she was a very old pony. Rinkles, white hair, sleeping during the day on a rocking chair; that's pretty much the three basic things that makes someone old. "Granny Smith," Applejack woke her, "we have guest."

Granny Smith then got off her rocker and she trotted towards us. When she came to greet us, she had her face right in font of Andrew's face--because apparently old people have really bad eye-sight and need to be closer to the person or thing that they're trying to look at (she obviously could use some of Twilight Sparkle's laser eye surgery). When she began to get a much clearer look of Andrew, she said, "Why aren't you the strangest lookin' monkey I've ever done seen."

Andrew then said, "That's probably because I'm not a monkey; I'm a human."

Then Granny Smith said, "I've seen a lot of strange lookin' creatures in my time, but I've never seen creatures like y'all before." Her eyes began to close, her head drooped down, and I could've sworn that I heard her snoring.

As Applejack was helping Granny Smith getting back on her rocker, she said, "While Granny Smith's sleepin', maybe now will be a good time ta get some chores done." As she, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom began to leave, me and the guys just stood their looking at Granny Smith. Then out of nowhere I heard Applejack say, "Y'all can just leave yer stuff right there and come help us with the chores."

I was then like, "Say that again?"

Then Applejack said, "Well if y'all gonna be livin' here, then y'all gonna have ta lend us a hoof."

"You mean 'lend us a hand'."

"That's what I just said."

When Applejack left, Andrew then said, "Does she really expect us to work?"

Then I said, "Well it's either that or watch their grandmother sleep." After Granny Smith had made a very disgusting type of snore, I was like, "Yeah I'd rather work."

And Andrew was like, "Same here."

We then began to leave, but we stopped because we noticed that Jonathan was still watching Granny Smith. Andrew said to him, "Aren't you coming?"

Then he said, "Nah, I dont' feel like working."

"Oh no," I said, "you're not gonna weasel your way out of this one, buster! If me and Andrew have to work, then you're gonna work too! Now move your lazy ass!"

"I don't want to!" whined Jonathan.

"Well BOO-FUCKITY-HOO," I cried, "you heard Applejack, if we're living here, then we got to do our part. And that includes you!"

"I'm. Not. Going!"

I then said to Andrew, "Well Andrew, looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way." Me and him then stepped towards Jonathan, and right when he saw us coming, he grabbed a part of the wall and he started to perform another one of his drama king acts while me and Andrew tried to pull him out of the house.

"NO," whined Jonathan, "I don't wanna work! I'm gonna get all sweaty and sticky!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Jonathan," said Andrew. "We just graduated from highschool; which means we're officially men now. And we're gonna have to start acting like men."

"But I don't wanna be a man!"

I then said to Andrew, "I wonder if Twilight can magically change him into a woman?" We both began to chuckle as we were forcing our drama king of a friend into doing manual labor with us.

This is how the work was done: Applejack kicks the apple trees so that they'll all fall into barrels, while Big Mac carries the barrels over to the barn. As for Apple Bloom, she just tends to the pigs--since that's the kind of work that a pony of her size can do. And this is how we did the work: Andrew will help Applejack pick some of the apples out of the trees, while I help Big Mac carry the barrels over to the barn. And since Jonathan has no problem acting like a little girl, he gets to help Apple Bloom tend to the pigs.

So far, I've carried about fifteen barrels of apples into the barn. As I sat down a bit to catch my breath, I said to Big Mac, "Boy, this is some hard work."

Then to my complete surprise, I heard him say, "E'yup."

"Did you just say something?"

"E'yup."

"Oh, so you can talk."

"E'yup."

Feeling that we've rested long enough, Big Mac and I got back on our feet and went on to continue the labor. A few hours later, I've now carried fifty barrels to the barn. As I laid the barrel down, I asked Big Mac, "Hey Big Mac, do you usually take breaks after fifty barrels?"

"E'yup."

"Would now be a good time to take a break?"

"E'yup."

"Alrighty then."

After that, I went to see how Jonathan was doing. I saw him just lying down beside Apple Bloom, as they were watching Andrew pick apples off a tree. I then said to them, "You two taking a break?"

Then Jonathan said, "No, we're actually done. And it was easy, too; I filled the trough with some of that stuff that pigs like to eat, while Apple Bloom cleaned them."

"How are you and Big Mac doin'?" asked Apple Bloom.

I then told her, "Well we just carried fifty barrels of apples into the barn."

Apple Bloom then said, "Judgin' by all of that sweat and heavy breathin', I'd say you were workin' hard."

You can say that again, I thought to myself. I then decided to lie down next to them. "So how's Andrew doing?" I asked.

Apple Bloom then said, "so far he's only finished pickin' the apples off of one tree."

"Seriously?" I said, "it's been like what, an hour? And yet he only finished one tree?"

"Well look at how my big sister's doin' it; she just kicks the tree then all the apples come down lickety-split. But yer friend's just pickin' them one by one, when he could easily get 'em all down just by kickin' the tree."

Jonathan was then like, "You mean you can literally just get all the apples off a tree just by kicking it?"

Then Apple Bloom said, "It ain't called apple buckin' fer nothin'."

I then called out to Andrew, "Hey Andrew, Apple Bloom says that you can get all the apples off the tree just by kicking it!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really!"

We then all watched as Andrew was about to kick the tree. But before he did that, he did that crane stance that Ralph Macchio did in The Karate Kid. I said to Jonathan, "Check it out, he's about to do a little Karate Kid action."

Me, Jonathan, and Apple Bloom, leaned forward as we observed Andrew preparing to kick that tree. Then right when he had finally kicked the tree, instead of apples falling down, it was instead him falling down, grabbing his foot, and screaming in pain. Andrew then did that painful sigh that Peter Griffin did in Family Guy--you know, when he was running back home and he tripped and hurt his knee. While he was doing that, me and Jonathan were laughing hysterically while Apple Bloom just stared at us confusingly.

That's when Applejack came over and checked to see if his foot was all right. Applejack then said to him, "You all right, sugarcube?"

Andrew for some reason was blushing as he said, "Oh, uh...yeah, I'm fine."

"Well here, let me buck this here tree fer ya." And that's when she kicked the tree for him.

I was then like, "Oh my God, please tell me I didn't just see that?"

"See what?" asked Apple Bloom.

Jonathan then told her, "Your sister being stronger than our friend."

"So what if my sister's stronger than yer friend?"

"That's the point," I explained, "men are suppose to be stronger than women. A man can't be considered a real man if he's not stronger than a woman." Right when I had said that, an idea had came to me. I asked Apple Bloom, "Hey Apple Bloom, where do you keep the paper, pencils, and tape?"

Then she said, "Inside our house of course. Why do ya ask?"

"You'll see soon enough." I then got up and went into their house. When I entered the house, I noticed that Granny Smith was still asleep. As I walked past her, I could hear her talking in her sleep. She was saying things like, "It sure is great gettin' ta be young again." and "I love the smell of apple cider in the mornin'." Anyway, as she was snoozing, I went to a drawer and I got out a piece of paper, a pencil, and some tape. I then wrote something on the paper, and then I put a little bit of tape on it. I then grabbed the paper and went back outside (not until I closed the door behind me first).

As Andrew was finally getting back on his feet, I walked up to him, patted him on the back, and I said, "Keep up the good work, buddy ole pal!" I then walked back to Jonathan and Apple Bloom and said, "Hey, you want to see something funny? Look what I did to Andrew." They both looked at Andrew. And when he had finally turned his back, they both started to laugh at what I did to him. What I did was put a sign on his back that said: NOT A REAL MAN.

As Andrew was watching us laugh, he was thinking to himself, what are they laughing at? Applejack then saw the sign and she said to him, "Uh, not meanin' ta bother ya, but I think that yer friend just pulled a prank on ya."

"What do you mean?" said Andrew.

When she told him about the sign, he pulled it off his back and he read it--and boy was he pissed. He then grabbed a couple of apples and he started to throw them at me and Jonathan. But luckily for us that he was a bad thrower--yeah, he might've been a football player, but he was never really good at throwing anything. Anyway, while he was throwing the apples at us, Applejack had pulled his arms back and said, "What in tarnation do ya think you're doin'? Don't throw the apples!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Andrew raised both his hands in front of his face, as if expecting to receive a beating. "I wasn't trying to tick you off on purpose, I swear!"

Finally calming herself down after Andrew's plea for mercy, Applejack placed a tender hoof upon his bulky shoulder and told him, "It's all right, sugarcube. I ain't angry at ya."

"Is that why you were just raising your voice at him in an angry tone just now?" the aspie part of me pointed out.

Taking her sympathetic gaze away from Andrew, Applejack gave me the look of strict teacher who's ready to chastise a troublesome student. "Why don't ya mind yer own business!"

"I'm just saying that if you weren't really angry with him, then you wouldn't have raise your voice at him in the first place."

"Well nopony asked ya; so why don't ya mosey along and start carryin' more barrels!"

Not wanting to continue talking with her (especially after receiving that brutal "mind your own business" beratement that hadn't attacked me since fifth grade), I simply went off to collect more barrels while I secretly curse Applejack for a bitch inside my head.

A few more hours later, it was now night time, and Big Mac and I have now carried one hundred barrels of apples! "Boy was that hard work or what?" I said, while panting for breath. I noticed that Big Mac didn't reply, so I said to him, "You don't say much, do you?" and to my surprise he said, "Nope." That was now the second word that I heard him say.

"So...you can say more than one word, but you just choose not to?"

"E'yup."

So yeah, he's basically the strong, silent type. Anyway, when the chores were finally finished, me and the guys walked back into the house; and to our surprise, we saw a delicious dinner that was set upon the table. "I bet you fellers must be hungry after doin' all that hard work." Said Granny Smith.

I then said, "You bet we are; I'm so hungry I could eat a horse." They all looked at me with a scared expression on their faces, as if they were saying "Say what now?!"

Luckily Jonathan manage to calm them all down. "It's a figure of speech." With that taken care of we all sat at the table and began dinner.

This was the order that we all sat in: On the two edges of the table sat Granny Smith and Apple Bloom. Then on one side of the table, Applejack sat next to Granny Smith, and Big Mac sat next to Apple Bloom. Then on the other side Jonathan sat next to Granny Smith, while I sat next to Apple Bloom, and while Andrew sat in the middle. What we had for dinner was apples, apple pies, apple fritters, apple sauce,--pretty much anything that's made out of apples--and we all had glasses of milk.

My friends and I must have some sort of psychic link with each other, because all three of us had chosen a red apple as our first meal. After the three of us took an individual bite out of our apples, Applejack was quick to ask, "So do y'all like 'em? We have a reputation fer makin' the best darn apples in all of Equestria."

"Oh yeah," Andrew eagerly offered his praise, "this tastes terrific!"

"Well, if this apple doesn't turn out to be poisoned then I guess I have nothing to complain about." Jonathan stated as he continued munching his apple to the core.

"And what about you, sugarcube?" Applejack awaited for my decision.

Since I still had a huge chunk of apple in my mouth, the cowgirl had to wait until I could finally swallow before giving her my response. "It's OK." I then immediately took another bite.

Applejack didn't seem to be too pleased with my final answer. "That's it? Just OK?"

"Well yeah," I said it as if it were common knowledge, "I mean it's not like eating this apple gives me infinite knowledge over everything. Granted, it's nice to finally eat an apple that doesn't cut my gums every time I take a bite out of it; but other than that it's nothing special." After finishing my first apple, I wasted no time in grabbing a second one.

By the time I took another bite out of my second apple, I heard Apple Bloom's little voice call out, "Jeff?" She didn't know this, but I never liked it whenever someone refers to me as Jeff. I've got my reasons, of course: one, is that that's my dad's name, and I for one prefer the idea that I'm my own man and not my old man's extension; and two, I just downright think that Jeffrie sounds better. "Uh...Jeff?" had I not took another bite out of that apple, I could've explained everything to her myself. But luckily for me, and her, Jonathan's mouth wasn't already full.

"He prefers Jeffrie," Jonathan enlightened the little farm filly.

With this newfound knowledge, Apple Bloom managed to correct herself. "Jeffrie?"

In return for getting my name right, I gave her my attention. "Yeah Apple Bloom?"

"I was lookin' through yer bag and I found this." Raising up her left hoof, she revealed my video camera that I've brought with me on our cruise. A bit of me wanted to curse the little filly for a thief, but since she happens to be a kid I decided to just simply take it from her and accept the fact that she just didn't know any better.

Sadly for Apple Bloom, however, her big sister isn't as merciful as I am. "Apple Bloom, who said you could go nosin' in on somepony's belongin's?!"

"I'm sorry," Apple Bloom apologized, "I just got a little curious is all."

While that was going on, I've been expecting my camera from top to bottom to see if that curious pony had done broken it. "I'm so sorry fer what my little sister just did," Applejack said in attempt to make amends.

"There's nothing to forgive," I accepted her apology, "it's not like she broke it."

"What is that thing, anyway?" Applejack found herself becoming just as curious as her sister.

"This is a video camera," by the looks on their faces, it would seem that I was going to have to go into more detail. "It's a device that can take pictures that can move."

"How does that work?" Apple Bloom's eyes beamed with interest.

To make it easier for them, I turned on the camera, pressed the record button, and gave them a visual example. "Hello, this is Jeffrie," I said to the camera, "my friends and I are having ourselves a little feast that our host have just made. Allow me to introduce them: this is Apple Bloom," the little farm pony was taken back by the sight of the camera. "This is her big sister, Applejack," the cowgirl looked a little apprehensive when I pointed the camera at her. "This here's her big brother, Big Mac," the red stallion immediately ducked under the table, worried that the camera was going to suck out his soul. "And over there's her grandma, Granny Smith," the old mare didn't seem to happy looking at the red dot that stood on my camera. Ending the video there, I pressed the play button and let the ponies be in awe by this recording.

"You mean that thing can record anythin'?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Uh-huh," I clarified, "this bad boy can record just about anything."

As we all went back to eating, out of nowhere Apple Bloom asked me, "So...what do ya do where ya come from?"

Wanting to get back to my meal as quickly as possible, I looked at her and said, "Stuff."

Not even a second had passed before she immediately asks me, "What kind of stuff?"

Again, seeing as how I just want to get back to eating, I looked at her again and gave her another one of my short answers. "Human stuff."

And this time I nearly choked when I heard her ask , "And what's 'human stuff'?"

After successfully swallowing what could've been the death of me, I kept my face from looking too pissed off and my voice as calm as possible, I looked at her once again and told her, "Human stuff is stuff that humans like to do." Fearing that she might ask me another question, I immediately tried to change the subject, "So...do you always have apples for dinner?"

"E'yup," answered Big Mac.

I probably shouldn't be asking ponies this kind of question, but I didn't really care at this point. "Don't you ever have meat?"

Then Applejack said, "What do ya mean?"

"Well you have pigs, right?" I pointed out. "So don't you ever butcher them once in awhile?"

They all stopped eating and they were looking at me with that scared expression again. I then heard Apple Bloom say, "You assumin' that we eat our own livestock?"

Then I said to her, "What's wrong kid, you never had porkchops before?"

Applejack then said rather firmly, "We happen ta be vegatarians, in case ya didn't notice."

That tone of hers didn't faze me the slightest. "Yeah but bacon taste good, fried chicken taste good, and porkchops taste good."

"Well that may be good fer you," said Applejack, "but it sure ain't good fer us."

"That maybe the case," I continued, "but I still think that you're missing out."

As I continued eating, Andrew whispered to me, "Jeffrie, don't ever talk about eating meat in front of them again."

I swallowed my food and whispered, "Oh relax, Andrew. It's not like they're gonna vomit." But right after I said that, I noticed that Big Mac and Granny Smith looked like they were about to do just that.

Anyway, Apple Bloom then said to me, "Hey Jeffrie, what's Star Wars?" she asked me that because I had on a red t-shirt that said Star Wars on it.

I turned to her and said, "Star Wars is a movie."

"What's a movie?"

"A movie is something like television, but without commercials."

"What's television?"

"Television is a little box with moving pictures in them."

"And what exactly do ya do with it?"

"Nothing, you just stare at it."

"And why would ya do that?"

"Because it's what we do whenever we get bored."

After I'd finally finished explaining our way of life to Apple Bloom, Applejack decided to point out, "Hey Jeffrie, I noticed that ya haven't been drinkin' yer milk."

She was right of course; I hadn't been taking a single sip of the milk--because I just don't like drinking that stuff. I then told her, "Oh yeah, I just don't drink milk that much."

"Why?" Applejack inquired. "Are ya lactose intolerant?"

"No, I just don't like drinking milk."

"Then what do ya usually drink?"

"Mostly I just drink soda."

"What kind?"

"Coke."

"What's that?"

"It's a soda that's in a red can with white letters on it."

"Ya mean Colt?"

"Is that what you ponies call it?"

"Yep; in fact, I think we might have some. Big Mac, see if ya can find one in the fridge."

Big Mac then got out of his chair and went looking through the fridge. He then came back with a soda can in his hoof--how he's able to do that without any fingers I have no idea. "So you do have Coke," I said.

Then Applejack said, "It's called Colt."

"Well where we come from, it's called Coke." I then took the can from Big Mac and I started to take a big gulp out of it. I wanted to let out a big burp, but I wanted to show them how well mannered I am, so I just held it in.

I was in the bathroom by the time we were about to call it a day and get some sleep. Since Applejack and her family didn't exactly have any guest beds for us, I was going to be sleeping on a couch, while Andrew would sleep on a chair, and Jonathan would have to make do with the rug on the floor. While I was still in the bathroom, Jonathan had already wrapped himself like a mummy with that rug he was having to sleep on while Andrew was slouching on the chair, sketching some more pictures of his lizards. Right when he was in the middle of drawing a curved line, his hand suddenly jittered the moment he heard a certain filly's voice ring in his ear.

"What'cha doin?"

Apple Bloom stood by Andrew's left side as she was leaning beside him to get a good look at his sketchings. Andrew let out a mental groan as he gazed upon the black scribble that covered one of his lizard's face, but he calmly erased it while speaking to the curious filly. "If you must know, I was just drawing this little comic about anthromorphic frogs."

When Apple Bloom finally got herself a good eye-full of these so called "frogs", she pretty much had the same reaction that I did when I first saw them. "Ya sure those aren't lizards?"

If Andrew hadn't been so tired, he probably would've snap that pencil in his grip by now. Nonetheless, he still manage to calm himself a little and said, "I assure you that these are not lizards; so it's best just to leave it at that."

"Do ya draw anythin' else?"

It's a very rare occurence that Andrew discovers someone who's even the slightest bit interested in his art. Putting his pencil away, Andrew started to show her pages of realistic portraits of us three, anime versions of us, that pig from The Hobbit movies, a goblin that he drew after watching The Princess and The Goblin with me one time, and a drawing of him as a cat mutant.

After seeing all of that, Apple Bloom was more than impressed. "Wow Andrew, I didn't think you'd be this talented."

Andrew felt a blush coming on from this praise. "I wouldn't call myself talented; I'm more of an amateur at best."

"Don't be beatin' yerself up now, I really think you're really good. Maybe you could draw ponies as a livin'."

"Apple Bloom," Applejack chidded her, "don't be botherin' our guest now. It's already past yer bedtime anyway, now go on."

Apple Bloom reluctantly decided to start walking to her room, only to end up accidently stepping on Jonathan's hand. After blurting out a "Sorry!", she bolted up the stairs and left him to growl in pain. With that out of the way, Applejack turned to Andrew.

"Sorry if my lil sis was buggin' ya," she apologized.

"Oh no, I didn't mind her," Andrew told her. "She's actually quite a little sweetheart."

Applejack let out a giggle before saying, "You just might be the first boy I know ta ever describe my sister as a 'sweetheart'; most of 'em usually can't stand bein' around kids her age."

"Well I'm not like most of them; I love kids."

Andrew waited for Applejack to say something back--hoping that what he just said didn't make him sound like a complete pedophile. Instead, he probably got one of the best complements he was ever bound to receive. "Ya know, between you and yer friends, I think you're the sweetest. Good night."

Andrew only had a dumb grin on his face as he was watching her go up the stairs. When I finally got out of that bathroom, I sat my ass on the couch and stretched as I said, "Having a little chat with the cowgirl I presume?"

"Oh yeah, she was just saying good night," Andrew got out of his daze. Right when I was about to sleep, Andrew suddenly said, "Hey Jeffrie, I've been thinking."

"About what?" I asked.

Then he told me, "Well, if we're men now, then shouldn't we think about getting girlfriends?"

"Andrew, we're in a world ruled by talking ponies," I reminded him. "How the Hell could we ever get girlfriends in a world like this?"

"Well, that's what I've been thinking about; I figured since we're in a new world, then shouldn't we just...you know."

It took me awhile, but when I finally realized what he had in mind, I was like, "Oh Hell no, I know that you're not suggesting that we mate with a bunch of ponies!"

"Why not, most of them are girls anyway, and we don't want to be virgins for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah, but just imagine what the kids will look like. I mean, could you literally just imagine how freaking weird they will be? I'm telling you, it won't be pretty! What you're suggesting is more disturbing than Frankenstein's Monster and Gollum having a baby together. And besides, do you even have a certain pony in mind?"

Andrew rubbed the back of his head a little as he confessed, "Yeah, I actually do."

"Well, who is it?" I asked.

And to my surprise, he said, "Applejack." So that pretty much explains why he was blushing and complementing her: beacause he has a crush on her!

Anyway, I was then like, "Applejack, why her?!"

"I don't know," said Andrew, "I guess it's mostly her caring nature, and her strong spirit; especially the way she kicks--it's kinda hot, actually."

"So basically you want her to kick you?"

"No, no, it's not like that."

"So is it her kicks that turn you on, or is it just her accent?"

"Well, now that I'm really thinking about, I've always wanted to date a farm girl, so this might be my only chance."

"And that's assuming that she's even interested in you."

"Hey, you just wait and see. One of these days, we'll be together."

"Sure you will," I was saying that sarcastically. I turned to Jonathan and said, "Can you believe this? He wants to start a relationship with a pony. Well at least you and I aren't crazy enough to think of doing something as fucked-up as that."

"Actually," Jonathan admitted, "I kinda have a crush on a certain pony as well."

I was like, "You too?!"

"Yeah."

I then let out an annoyed sigh and said, "Who is it?"

And then he said, "Twilight Sparkle." And that explains why he was staring at Twilight while she was leaving; because he had a crush on her! So yeah, as you can see, Jonathan has a thing for smart girls, and Andrew has a thing for country girls.

"So you do have a crush on her!" Andrew declared triumphantly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I said I didn't yesterday," Jonathan admitted, "but that was only because I wasn't too sure at first. After this morning, I was beginning to think that maybe she might be the one to help me forget about how miserable everything is; that, and her voice is kinda sexy. I mean, doesn't it sound like the a voice you'd hear on a sex hotline?"

Not wanting to have more disturbing images like that in my dreams, I said to the both of them, "Come on guys, talk sense for Christ's sake! You can't mate with an animal; that's bestiality!"

"Let's not think of it as bestiality," Andrew objected, "let's instead think of it as...xenophilia?"

"Andrew, you can call it any fancy name you want," I told him, "it's still bestiality. I haven't been reading the bible lately, but I'm pretty sure that bestiality is a sin. Hell, I suppose one of you will probably tell me that you'll want to kiss a hedgehog as well."

"Whatever," cried Jonathan, "Love is love!"

"Well if you two want to spend the rest of your lives having pineapples shoved up your asses, then by all means be my guest! But leave me out of it, because unlike you two sickos, I intend on dying as a good christian!"

After that conversation, we all went to sleep. While my two sicko friends were probably focusing on pony pussy, I was just focusing on our next visit for tomorrow--while also trying to keep any thoughts of Twilight talking dirty on phone out of my head.