A couple of days later, all the ponies were preparing a big welcome party to Princess Celestia. Me and the guys were just roaming around, checking out on all of the preparations. As we were walking around, I saw something that would've made milk come out my nose--even though I never drink it. When Andrew noticed that I was trying to contain myself, he asked, "What's up with you?" I then pointed at the cause of this, and both he and Jonathan laid eyes upon a sign that literally said: WELCOME PRINCESS CELEST!

Eventually they each started to chuckle as well, and next thing you know we all just let it out. "Did they seriously just write that?!" asked Jonathan.

"I mean, who wrote this?! Derpy?!" Andrew commented.

As my laughter started to die down a bit, I then said, "I wonder what would happen if I ever said this to Celestia?"

"What do ya mean?" inquired Andrew.

"Like if I just happen to bump into her, and say 'Hey Princess Celest', how would she react?"

"I don't know," said Jonathan, "maybe she'd strike you in the ass with lightning." He and Andrew laughed some more after that comment; but I got the last laugh after giving Jonathan's nose a death grip! "Easy on the nose, Jeffrie!"

"Oh relax," I loosened my grip, "if your nose gets broken, just ask Zecora for some of that magic cocaine."

Anyway, we then found ourselves entering Carousel Boutique. There we saw Twilight watching Rarity work on some kind of outfit. At first we thought that the whole "Celest" screw-up was the funniest moment of today, but what we were about to see was ten times funnier than Andrew in a dress--and that's saying a lot! Like I've said before, Rarity was working on some kind of outfit; an outfit that looks so ridiculous, that even Lady Gaga would die from embarrassment. This was the kind of outfit that could only be found in the 1800's (I know this because the said outfit had a powdered wig to go with it)!

But that's not the reason why this is so damn funny. No, the overall reason is because of the person who's having to wear it. Seeing as how this is Rarity we're talking about, you'd probably think that she'd have Spike or Sweetie Belle do this. But no, the person that she's forcing to wear this outfit is none other than...Rainbow Dash!

Yes, you've heard right. Rainbow Dash: the arrogant, tom-boyish, Top Gun wannabe, is literally wearing an outfit that even Disney Princesses would laugh at. Now as you've probably guessed, me and the guys immediatley started to laugh our asses off!

"What's with the outfit?!" I said to Rainbow Dash. "You goin' to the opera?!"

Andrew decided to add a comment of his own, "Sh-she looks like Mozart's bitch!" and this is the point where me and the guys took our cellphones and started to take pictures.

Rainbow Dash would've tried to beat the crap out of us, if Rarity hadn't stopped her. "Stay still, Rainbow Dash. You're gonna mess up the outfit."

"You're not making this any better, Rarity!" Rainbow Dash grumbled.

Anyway, as I was setting up my wallpaper, some little ball shaped bug flew up to my face and I was like, "Ah, a bug!" I then smashed it with both my hands, which resulted in Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, screaming as if they were in a horror/slasher movie.

When the bug landed on the ground, I stomped it, took my shoe off and beat it repeatedly, gave it a couple of elbow drops, and then I took a quick breather and finished it with an extra elbow drop. Andrew then said in Mortal Kombat style, "Overkill."

Twilight then walked up to me, keeping her "what the fuck" expression, and she said in a--not so--subtle manner, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

And to that, I said, "Twilight, that was a bug."

"The point being?" asked Twilight.

"The point is," I responded, "I hate bugs!"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah," said Rainbow Dash, "last time I remember, Fluttershy specifically mentioned that you hated bats, not bugs."

"Oh no, he hates bugs just as much as he hates bats." Andrew clarified, "He hates bees, mosquitos, wasps, hornets, ants, dragonflys, spiders, pretty much any insect you can think of."

I turned to him and say, "I might be afraid of things that most people wouldn't make a big deal about, but at least I'm not afraid of clowns!"

"Hey, clowns are scary!" said Andrew defensively,. "Sure, they may look all fun and cheerfull; but the second you turn your back, they'll destroy us all!" and he just stood there, repeating "Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all!"

Rarity then went up to me and said, "Oh Jeffrie, how could you possibly hate something that's so adorable?"

And to that, I said, "Rarity, they're bugs! There's nothing adorable about them! They're hideous, they're creepy, and they're a complete pain in the ass! And besides, Rarity, if you keep all of these bugs in your shop, then they're going to chow down on your dresses." She then let out a big, loud gasp. "Yeah, that's right, bugs just love to feast on clothing. And the longer they stay here, the chances of all your dresses becoming nothing more than chewed-up bits of cloth starts to get higher." And then Rarity did one of her famous over-dramatic faints. I then turned to Twilight and Rainbow Dash, "If I were any of you, I'd starting killing every last one of these little motherfuckers before they start multiplying. And trust me, you don't want to see what they do when they multiply. I've seen something like this happen in Gremlins, and boy it wasn't a pretty picture."

When me and the guys were about to leave, Pinkie Pie comes in and says, "Does anypony know where I can find an accordian?"

And I told her, "Have you tried a music store? You know, that place where instruments are sold."

Pinkie was then like, "Wow, why didn't I think of that?"

Because you have a cupcake for a brain. Before I could even say that, Pinkie rushes out of the boutique and me and the guys decided to take the chance to go back home.

We when were finally back at the house, Andrew was literally still shouting, "Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all!" starting to get annoyed at this point, I took out the same razor that Andrew used to shave my beard and said, "You want me to shave your hair off again?" and then he wisely shut his trap. At this point, I decided to strike up a conversation, "Why the Hell do bugs even exist to begin with? I mean what purpose could they possibly serve?"

"I don't know," said Jonathan, "maybe you can ask God when you're in Heaven."

"Yeah, I bet that just gotta be one of the biggest mysteries to mankind." I then went over a list, "God, why do bugs exist? What's the point of living if we're just gonna die anyway? Why the Hell do people keep believing in Democrats?" and we had ourselves a little laugh.

We then started to hear screaming; I took a peak out of the door, and to my horror, I saw a swarm of bugs attacking the town! I quickly closed and locked the door as Jonathan said, "What the Hell's going on out there?"

"Oh nothing," I told him, "Ponyville's just being attacked by a plague of locus."

"What?!"

"You remember those bugs over at Carousel Boutique?"

"Yeah."

"Well they just multiplied, and we're gonna have to stay inside for the time being."

"So what're we gonna do?" asked Andrew.

"We could always watch a movie." I sat on the couch and started to browse through Netflix. Seeing as how I'd already called Andrew out on his fear of clowns, I figured that it's only fair that I poke some fun at Jonathan's fear. Which is why I chose to watch Snakes on a Plane; and the second it started, Jonathan immediatley ran straight to his room. So in case you missed it, he's basically the only person who took that movie seriously.

As we were about to get to the famous "motherfucking snakes" speech, we started to hear something that sounded somewhat like polka music. Jonathan slowly came down the stairs and said, "Is that polka music?"

I went to see what was going on, and that's when I saw Pinkie Pie leading a parade of bugs, through the power of polka music. Andrew was like, "Should we see where they're heading?"

And Jonathan said, "Whatever keeps the focus off of snakes." And with that said, we went and followed her.

We then found ourselves getting nearer to the Everfree Forest; and that's when we noticed Twilight and the other ponies talking to Princess Celestia. As we were walking up to them, Celestia looked at me and said, "Good evening, Jeffrie."

And in my best Jerry Seinfeld impression, I told her, "Hello, Celest."

She was silent for awhile and then she said to Twilight, "Anyway Twilight, I really must be going." And she got upon her chariot and went off.

"What's she in a rush for?" asked Jonathan.

Twilight turned to him and said, "She said she couldn't attend the festival because of an infestation in Fillydelphia."

"Don't ya me, Philadelphia?" I corrected her.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's pronouned Fillydelphia."

After Pinkie was finished getting rid of those bugs, Andrew said, "Dang Pinkie, you sure showed those bugs who's boss."

"Oh it was nothing," said Pinkie. "Everypony knows that a parasprites only weakness is polka music."

"Yeah, you sure know how to play music." Andrew praised her skill, "Speaking of which, Jonathan, call me on your cellphone."

He called him and started to hear the ringtone play the same polka music. "Hey Jeffrie, call me on your cellphone."

I went and did that, and what a shock, his ringtone just happens to have the same music. "Hey guys, let's call each other at the same time." We each did that, and then all three of all our ringtones combined into one giant ringtone.

As we were walking back to Ponyville, Twilight said to Pinkie, "You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville." That's when we saw the destruction that the parapsprites had left behind. "Or not."

I was about to do the "waa, waa, waaaa" sound, but Pinkie had beaten me to it. But that didn't stop me from saying, "Well good luck with cleaning up this mess."

And as we were about to head back to the house, Applejack was like, "Aren't y'all gonna lend us a hoof?"

And to that I told her, "We would, except we don't have hooves!" I figured if you're gonna end a fucked-up day, you might as well end it with a laugh.

As we were heading back home, Rainbow Dash said to Fluttershy, "Fluttershy, you wouldn't happen to be hiding another parasprite by any chance, would ya?"

"Oh no," said Fluttershy, "I've learned my lesson."

Rainbow Dash then gazed towards me at the distance. You might've gotten away this time, but I'll get you.