Author's Notes:

Sorry for making you all wait for so long. Hope this makes up for it.

One day, me and Andrew were just chilling on the couch, watching Spongebob, while Jonathan was just going here and about in an unusually happy manner. Usually he would be going through the day with a figurative cloud over his head, but for some reason he's acting as if today's going to be the best day of his life. Me and Andrew were not use to seeing him in this state, so I said, "You sure are feeling happy today."

He turned to me and said, "And why wouldn't I be? Do you have any idea what today is?"

Andrew guessed, "Thursday?"

"Yes," Jonathan didn't deny, "but what else?"

I then made my guess, "Is today the day you finally get that sex change?"

Me and Andrew laughed as Jonathan cried, "No! Why would you even say that?"

"Well you were pretty whiny when we were making you do chores with us when we were at Applejack's, so I figured that you must rather be a drama queen instead of a drama king." Andrew whispered to me, "Nice."

"OK, you two clearly suck at guessing, so I'm just gonna tell you." He took a deep breath and said, "Today's the day I confess my feelings to Twilight."

Andrew cried, "Mazel tov!"

But I was like, "What makes you so sure that this'll be the day?"

Then Jonathan said, "Because Spike is off on some royal business, which means it'll just be me and her, all alone, together."

"How do you know one of her friends won't be with her?" Andrew asked.

"I'm pretty sure that her friends have way more important things to do," Jonathan insisted.

"Well even if her friends aren't with her," I said, "how do I know that you're just not gonna pussy out?"

"You just wait and see," Jonathan declared. "First, I'll tell her how I feel about her, then we'll be together, and who knows? Maybe we'll get married and you two can be my best men."

To this, Andrew said, "Um, we're kinda the only friends you have; so if you think of it, you'll probably going to just let us be your best men anyway."

I then added, "And if you do get married, you won't have kids, will you? Because the last thing that I want is to be the uncle of some weird, horse-man mutant."

Jonathan let out a sarcastic laugh and said, "OK, I'll be seeing you two bastards later; I got myself a girl to woo." The second he left the house, I said to Andrew, "Five dollars says that he pussies out." And Andrew said, "You're on." And so the bet on whether Jonathan gets lucky or not has finally commence.

As Jonathan was heading straight to Twilight's place, he was coming up of many ways to tell her how much he loves her. "When I enter her home," he said to himself, "I'll say 'hey Twilight, you look lovely today'. Or maybe I should say 'beautiful' or 'pretty', so that way she feels more comfortable with her looks. Or maybe I should just say 'nice', so that way I'm not giving her too much of a hint. OK, so now that I've settled with how I'm going to start things off, how will I tell her exactly? Hmm...maybe I should do it in a soap opera approach; like maybe I should get down to one knee, hold her hoof, and say, 'Twilight, ever since I've laid eyes on you, I've been dying to tell you something; something that any man should tell any woman. You see, I...'."

As soon as he was about to finish that statement, he then suddenly found himself inside the home of Twilight Sparkle (apparently he was so in thought of what he was going to tell her, that he didn't even notice where he was going). Twilight then came down her stairs holding a stack of books with her magic, and when she saw Jonathan, she said, "Oh, hi Jonathan."

The second he knew where he was, he forgot all that mumbo jumbo that he was saying to himself and he began to panic inside. His knees shaked, and his whole body started to break out in droplets of nervous sweat as he stammered, "Oh, uh...hi Twilight. Y-y-you need any help?" wow, a few seconds ago he was thinking of ways to tell Twilight she's hot, and he just chickens out at the last minute! If only me and Andrew were there to witness it.

Anyway, Twilight said, "No thanks, Spike maybe away, but I can take care of myself." She then set the stacks of books on a table, "So what brings you here?"

"Me?" said Jonathan. "Oh, well I just felt like getting out of the house today."

"Why," Twilight asked, "Is Jeffrie irritating you again?"

"He irritates me everyday." He looked around and saw on the wall a picture of Twilight with some white unicorn. "Is that your boyfriend?"

Twilight looked at the picture and gave a little chuckle. "No, that's my brother."

"Oh, I didn't know you have a brother."

"Not just any brother; he's my B.B.B.F.F."

"Don't you mean B.F.F.?"

"No, B.F.F. is Best Friend Forever; B.B.B.F.F. is Big Brother Best Friend Forever."

"You know, if Jeffrie was here, he'd say that you were making it up."

"Well at least it's better than him telling me how to say everypony."

"You mean everybody?" she gave him a surprised look and he was like, "Sorry." After taking a quick last glance of the picture of Twilights' brother, Jonathan said, "Listen Twilight, the reason why I came here is because there's something that I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

If you pussy out now, you'll never hear the end of it. He thought to himself. He took a deep breath and said, "Twilight, I..." but as soon as he was about to tell her, a bolt of lightning suddenly clapped! He then started to panic, "What was that?!"

Twilight then said, "It's just a thunder storm that the pegasi had just made."

"What do you mean by 'made'?"

"You mean you don't know that the pegasus ponies are the ones who control the weather?"

"They can control the weather?"

"Yes, didn't Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy tell you and your friends?"

"No, all we got from Rainbow Dash is that she wants to be some kind of Top Gun flyer, and we didn't really get much out of Fluttershy."

Twilight was just gazing out her window when she cried, "Is that Applejack and Rarity?!" Jonathan leaned in closer and saw that it was in fact Applejack and Rarity. He was then pushed back by Twilight, as she ran towards the door and called them in.

As Rarity was entering, she said, "We are most grateful for your invitation."

Then when Applejack had entered, she said, "Thank ya kindly for yer hospitality."

But then Rarity stopped her and said, "Do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?"

While Applejack went outside to wash the mud off of her hooves, Jonathan said to Rarity, "You're seriously going to make her go wash herself in the middle of a thunder storm?"

To this, Rarity said, "Just because there's a thunder storm, doesn't mean she can get away with muddy hooves."

"So what?" said Jonathan. "It's just mud; it's not gonna bite you."

"Typical boy attitude." Rarity said to herself.

Twilight then tried to change the subject, "Some storm, huh? The pegasus ponies sure have outdone themselves this time. I hope that none of you have any trouble getting home."

Rarity then said, "It may indeed be a problem."

Jonathan looked at her and said, "Gee, ya don't say?"

Twilight was then suddenly like, "You should all totally sleep over! We'll have a slumber party! I've always wanted one of those."

"A slumber party?" said Jonathan. "Isn't that one of those things that you do when you're eight?"

"I was too busy on my studys to do any of the things that most ponies would do," Twilight explained, "but now I can finally do those things that I've never had time to do before; and I even have a reference guide to get me started." She then literally took out of a bookshelf, an actual guide book on slumber parties. Don't believe me, then just take a gander at the title: Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.

Jonathan just looked at it and was like, "They actually make guide books on slumber parties?"

"Of course," said Twilight, "they make guide books for everything."

After she said that, Jonathan was beginning to become deeply in thought of that statement. If Twilight has a guide book on slumber parties, then does that mean George R.R. Martin has a guide book on killing a favorite character? While he was thinking this through, Twilight and Rarity started to do what all women like to do, and that's giving each other makeovers.

When Applejack finally came inside, she saw the both of them putting that girly mud on their faces and was like, "Now wait just a goll-darn minute. Ya make me wash the mud off my hooves, but it's OK for y'all to have mud all over yer faces?"

To this, Rarity said, "Silly! This is called a mud mask. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion."

And then Twilight decided to point out the obvious, "We're giving each other makeovers! We have to do it, it says so in the book." Why does that last sentence that Twilight said sound like something that the kid from Once Upon A Time would say?

Anyway, the second Twilight showed Applejack the book, she immediatley wanted to get out as soon as possible. But a bolt of lightning was all that she needed to stay where she is. And a bolt of lightning is also what Jonathan needed to get out of his guide book trance and start flinching like a little girl. Applejack looked at him and said, "You OK, sugarcube?"

Jonathan was then like, "What, me? Of course I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be?"

Rarity then said, "Other than the fact that you were twitching and making all that squealing uproar?"

"Oh, uh...I was just, uh...exercising. Yeah, exercising."

He then let out a nervous laugh as Twilight asked, "Are you afraid of thunderstorms?"

"No, of course not," Jonathan quickly denied, "I'm just afraid for the guys, that's all."

"And just why would you be distressing over those two?" asked Rarity.

"Because unlike me, they are afraid of thunderstorms."

"Seriously?" said Applejack.

"Oh yeah, in fact they even have their own little song for when a thunderstorm does happen."

"Ooh, your friends write songs?" Rarity inquired.

"No, they just got it off of a movie they both really like."

"So does this mean that you'll be staying?" asked Twilight. Now if you know Jonathan as much as I do, it's that he'll normally would give up upon the first instance of a challenge; but since this is a matter of love, my somber friend has manage to gain some determination to never let anything get in the way of accomplishing this goal. Even if it involves having to endure a slumber party with talking, girly ponies. So of course he agrees to stay for the night. And as soon as he said that, Twilight was like, "Isn't this exciting? We'll do everything by the book, and that will make my slumber party officially fun."

Well I suppose it can't get any worse, Jonathan thought to himself. That is until he heard Rarity say, "Did you hear that, Applejack? You certainly wouldn't want to do anything that would ruin Twilight's very first slumber party, would you?"

"Of course not," Applejack stated firmly. "And you wouldn't either, I reckon?"

"So do we have an agreement?"

"You betcha." She then did that short of handshake--or in her case, a hoofsake--that involves spitting on it. Instead of just sucking it up and just shake the damn hoof, Rarity instead cries out, "Oh, gross! You know, there's messy and there's just plain rude."

To this, Applejack said, "Ya know, there's fussy, and there's just plain gettin' on my nerves."

What is this, an Odd Couple episode? Jonathan thought to himself. At this point, Jonathan was beginning to notice that Rarity's and Applejack's bickering might prove to be a bit of an obstacle for him. But that didn't seem to bother Twilight, because while those two were having their little personality clash, she wrapped her hooves around them in a group hug as she said, "This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever! Yay!"

"Yay." Said Rarity and Applejack in a deadpanned tone as they continued their little dagger like stare down. Jonathan then turned around as he took a deep breath and said to himself, "OK Jonathan, just keep it together. So some little complications just popped out of nowhere, but it'll be worth it. I mean, it can't be as worse as what the guys are doing." Speaking of which.

After Jonathan had left the house, me and Andrew just continued to lie around the couch, watching Spongebob. Then when that was over, we decided to just watch a random movie. And seeing as how our friend is going on a quest to find love, we decided to watch something similar to what Jonathan was going through; and that movie was Dumb and Dumber. Now I know what your're thinking, "Dumb and Dumber?! That movie has nothing to do with love!" well if you were to really think about it, Jonathan's kinda like Lloyd in this situation; and like Lloyd, he's not gonna get the girl in the end. At least I hope he doesn't. After all, my five dollars depends on it.

Anyway, as we were getting to the part with the dead parakeet, the TV suddenly goes out and me and Andrew were both like, "OH COME ON!" Andrew then got his ass off the couch and went to check on the TV. After banging it a couple of times and checking the wires from the back, he then came to the most absolute brilliant discovery, "I think something's wrong with the electric post."

And to that amazingly stated conclusion, I said, "Then I guess you better go check it out then." As he went outside, I went to the kitchen and got me two cans of Coke. As soon as I've set the Cokes upon the table, there suddenly came this loud thunder crack, and it resulted in me flinching back to the couch. And the second the thunder cracked some more, Andrew had came bursting through the door and landed on the couch.

As we sat side by side, we started to sing the "thunder buddy" song from Ted--and we did it, word for word. When the thunder finally started to die down a bit, we decided to take our minds off the storm and just drink our Cokes while talking about stuff.

"I wonder how Jonathan would react to this storm?" said Andrew.

And to that I replied, "Curdled up in fetal position, while crying like a little bitch in front of Twilight."

We both had ourselves a little laugh, and then Andrew decided to address something that I would never bother bringing up, "Speaking of which, do you really think that Jonathan won't tell her?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "if there's one thing I know about Jonathan, it's that he's all talk. He might say that he'll do something, but midway through he'll just say 'screw it'."

"Yeah, I know he kinda tends to be a bit of a quiter, but I think he's really determined this time."

"Andrew, Jonathan and Twilight being together is more likely to happen than you and Applejack getting together."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It simply means that you're a bigger pussy than Jonathan."

"Hey, I'll let you know that I can tell Applejack just how much I love her if I wanted to!"

"Yeah, except for one big thing..."

As I waited for Andrew to finish my sentence, he then let out a sigh and said in a groaned tone, "Big Mac."

"E'yup." After that little insult to injury, I suddenly had the urge to take a piss (if Rainbow Dash were here, I'd say a horse pun just to annoy her). So I lifted my ass off the couch and led myself towards the bathroom. After I was finish draining my bladder, I just had to look at myself in the mirror. I mean when you have a beard like mine, you just can't stop looking at it. After a few minutes of admiring my facial hair, I went back to the living room and said to Andrew, "Man, Andrew, if I were home right now, I'd be gettin' tons of women right about now."

"Let me guess, it's because you have facial hair?"

"Well yeah, everybody knows that chicks dig facial hair."

"Just because one Alaskan girl had rubbed your face and called it hairy, doesn't mean that all women are like that."

"Of course it does, whenever one woman says she likes or dislikes something, that means all the women in the world think like that. It's simple math." And with that said, I picked up my can and took a big chug.

Meanwhile, over at Twilight's place, she, Applejack, and Rarity had moved onto putting curlers in their manes and tails (for those of you who don't know, a curler is something that a girl uses to make their hair look curly. They think it makes them look beautiful, but it actually makes them look terrifying). And--to his complete shame--Jonathan had to wear them as well. If the guys ever hear about this, I'll never hear the end of it, he thought to himself. But luckily for him, Twilight decided that makeover time was finished, and with her magic she removed all the curlers and went on to the next activity. "Ooh, it says here we have to tell ghost stories. Who wants to go first?"

"Me!" cried Applejack. "I'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost; who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. Oo-oo! I'm sure y'all are familiar with that?"

"Never heard of it," said Rarity, "but I have a much better one. It's the horrifying story of the messy, inconsiderate ghost; who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! Oo-oo!"

Good God, a Scooby-Doo epsiode is scarier than this. The lights then suddenly went out as Twilight was about to tell her story, "I've got one! This story is called, The Legend of The Headless Horse." If Jeffrie were here, he'd probably say, "You mean The Headless Horseman?!"

He probably should've been trying to make Twilight think he's a good listener--seeing as how that's pretty much what women expect from us--but he figured that thinking about things I would've done was far more interesting than listening to her story. Besides, he wasn't even scared to begin with. He pretty much predicted that Twilight was going to wait for another thunder strike just so she can quickly put a blanket over her head, and somehow scare Applejack and Rarity.

And after making him witness that jump scare that even a kindergartener wouldn't find terrifying, she turned the lights back on and said, "OK Jonathan, it's your turn."

And instead of telling a ghost story, he told them, "Why bother? I'm practically experiencing one already."

They each had a shocked expression on their faces as Applejack said, "Gee Jonathan, that isn't like you."

"What do ya mean?" asked Jonathan.

"Well normally I'd be expectin' those kind of remarks from Jeffrie."

"What are you talking about? I've made those kind of remarks before."

Rarity then decided to correct him, "Actually darling, I never had any recollection of you performing any of those actions."

Jonathan did a double take as he exclaimed, "Seriously!"

Then Applejack said, "Well, to be honest sugarcube, you and Andrew aren't exactly the talkin' type."

"That's not true, we've talked to you ponies before!"

"Technically darling, you and Andrew talked sometimes. Jeffrie, however, does most of it."

As Jonathan was just standing there all dumbstruck, Twilight tried to change the subject, "Anyway...who wants s'mores?"

After a short s'more break, Twilight made an announcement, "OK, now that that's out of the way, the next item of fun we have to do is Truth or Dare."

Rarity immediatley tried to make a first move, "I dare Applejack to do something carefully and neatley for a change."

Applejack then tried to make a comeback, "Oh yeah? Well I dare Rarity ta lighten up, and stop obsessin' over every, last, little detail, for a change."

"I think the truth of the matter is that somepony could stand to pay a little more attention to detail."

"And I think the truth is somepony oughta quit with her fussin' so the rest of us can get things done."

"OK, clearly neither of you know how Truth or Dare works," Jonathan made his observation be known.

"What do you mean?" asked Twilight.

Then Jonathan explained the rules to her, "When you're playing Truth or Dare, you gotta either make someone tell you an embarrassing secret about themselves, or make them do something very humiliating."

"What do ya mean by 'humiliating'?" asked Applejack.

And Jonathan gave her a list, "You know, something like eating dirt, or rubbing shit all over your face, or telling everybody you're secretly gay. It pretty much has to be something that can crush a persons' pride."

After thinking for awhile, Applejack had finally came up with a dare, "I dare Rarity ta step outside and let her precious, tidy mane get ruined again."

This caused Rarity to gasp and shout, "You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes she can," explained Jonathan, "and once somebody dares you to do something, you gotta do it whether you like it or not."

"Fine!" and so she swallowed her pride and stepped out into the rain. When she came back in, she ended up lookin' like a little wet dog, and this resulted in Applejack and Jonathan laughing their heads off. But Rarity was then about to turn the table on Applejack, "OK, I dare Applejack to play dress-up; in a frou-frou, glittery, lacey outfit."

Applejack then grudgingly went upstairs and then came back down, dressed as a princess (and I'm not even joking; she literally looked like a princess! She had on the pointy hat, the puffy dress, she even had her hair done in a fancy manner). This got a chuckle out of Rarity, but it got a big chunk of laughter out of Jonathan. He even went so far as to take a picture of it on his cellphone. The second he'd sent that picture, Applejack and Rarity were both tossing dares at one another.

They were so intent on this that Twilight was literally just standing there and said, "Um, do I ever get a turn?"

Finally, Jonathan exclaimed to himself, while those two are busy arguing, I can be able to get the truth out of her! And so without wasting anymore time, Jonathan said to Twilight, "Actually, Twilight, I've been wondering."

"Ooh, is this a Truth or a Dare?!" Twilight asked in enthusiastic anticipation.

"It's Truth," said Jonathan, "and it's something personal."

"Well go on, ask me!"

First, he took a deep breath, and then he asked her, "Do you have a crush on someone?"

Twilight was a bit confused at first, but she was soon able to tell him, "I don't think so."

He became a bit flustered at this response, "You mean you never thought about wanting to go out with someone?"

"Well, to be honest I was also too busy in my studies to even focus on boys. Why do you ask? Is there somepony who's interested in me?"

She never even thought of me. Being too shocked to just bluntly tell her the truth, he just told her, "You could say that."

She then let out a cheerful, girl squee as she asked him, "So who is it?"

Now of course he could've told her right at that moment, but being the emotional pansy that he is, he did what I pretty much bet he would do, "Can we move onto the next activity?" and I'd probably be getting five bucks at this point.

Anyway, Twilight had then went back to her little guide book to see what other slumber party related activity they could do, "Hm, let me see. What does this mean? Pillow fight?"

Rarity--overhearing this--decided to voice her opinion, "Oh please, I'm not at all interested in participating in something so crude." But the second Applejack tossed a pillow right at her face, she was then like, "OH! IT! IS! ON!"

She then tossed a pillow at Applejack, and she in turn had tossed another back at her, and then this harmless, little pillow fight soon turned into a flat out, pillow war! (Although you're technically suppose to just grab the pillow and use it like a club instead of throwing them, but I wasn't there to correct them). If Jonathan wasn't so damn traumatized by the fact that Twilight was never interested in him, he would've done the correcting for me. But while he just stood there like a guy who received word that he has AIDS, Twilight had finally begun to understand the concept of pillow fights. But she unfortunately had found herself in the middle of the crossfire and got completely pummeled. So...after that little beatdown, she then suggested, "Maybe we should just call it a night and get some sleep?" and while those three went to prepare the guest bed, Jonathan still stood there and he said to himself, "Not even once."

While that soap opera melodrama was happening, me and Andrew were having our own little moment. For some strange reason, after I'd gulped down the rest of that can of Coke, I've been feeling very weird lately; as if I was somehow becoming intoxicated. For example, after a few minutes had passed by, my head started to feel dizzy. Then, my eyesight was appearing to be all loopy. And then, my speech was beginning to sound all slurry. And to finish it all off, I was just beginning to lose complete control of my body. (Like I would just be moving back and forth, and waving my arms, and spinning my head for no reason at all).

At that point, I was having a little discussion with Andrew, "Look...all I'm saying, is that Alaskan girls...are somewhat more attractive...than girls, from Texas."

"What are you talking about?" questioned Andrew. "Girls in Alaska are ugly; I mean, they have squinty eyes, their faces are all chubby, they like to wear dead animals for clothes..."

"No, no, no, those are Eskimos...that's not what Alaskan girls are...look man...you can't just live your life based on stereotypes...this isn't the fucking 1800's...you gotta learn to embrace the differences of another human being."

"Well what difference does it make anyway? I mean, what is it that Alaskan girls have, that Texan girls don't have?"

"Well...for starters...Alaskan girls look like Texan girls...only 20% more hotter."

"Why 20%?"

"I don't know...Rainbow Dash always measures things by 20%...so I figured, why not?"

At that point, Andrew had took his phone out and when he took a gander at what was on it, he was like, "Whoa! Jeffrie, I think you'd wanna take a look at what Jonathan just sent me."

He showed me his phone, and I'd found myself falling over the couch in a burst of hysteria, "Oh my God...is that...is that, Applejack?"

"E'yup."

"In a princess outfit?"

"E'yup."

"OK...this...this is just too much...and to think you want to tap that...hey that reminds me...you're not still mad at me for using you as a human sheild, right?"

He gave me a scowl after reminding him of the most embarrassing moment of his life since that one time when he was declared Miss Ponyville, but he was soon able to build a smile and say, "Oh no, I'd never do something like that; holding grudges is your thing."

"Well that's good," I responded, "because for a minute there, I thought you were..." and I then suddenly blacked-out and planted my face on the table.

"OK, bedtime." Andrew then got his ass off the couch and tried to take me to my room. You'd think that being the buff member of the group, he'd be able to lift me without putting much effort into it. But, believe it or not, I was actually a bit heavy for him to carry. Even as he was draggin' me up the stairs, he was like, "Gees, ya know for an incredibly skinny type of guy, you sure are heavy."

Back at Twilight's place, she and the others had decided to get to the actual "slumber" part of the party. While Rarity and Applejack had to sleep on the guest bed, Jonathan was lucky enough to sleep on the same bed with Twilight. At this point, Jonathan was finally able to break free of his little comatose from earlier and decided to try to take advantage of this new opportuniy. OK Jonathan, you've might've let your emotions get the better of you, but now's your chance to get your girl. When Applejack and Rarity go to sleep, you'll have no problem making a move on Twilight.

It was easier said than done; because throughout the whole night, as Jonathan was waiting for those two to go to sleep, they just kept on arguing. "Keep your muddy hooves on your side of the bed," Rarity commanded.

"My hooves ain't muddy," said Applejack.

"They were; there might still be a little more on them."

"Well they're ain't. See?" when she showed Rarity her hoof, she got grossed out and for some reason decided to hog the blanket for herself. "Now who's bein' inconsiderate?"

Applejack in turn tried to hog the blanket for herself, and this caused Rarity to get off the bed and say, "Now I have to make the bed again so the blanket will be right. Get up." She then shoved Applejack off and then Jonathan watched as Rarity used her unicorn magic to tuck the blanket back into the bed. When Applejack was about to get back on, Rarity quickly said, "Ah ah ah! You'll ruin it. You have to do it like this." And then he watched as Rarity had got under the blanket in a way that even an acrobat couldn't accomplish.

As she was getting herself all snuggled up, Applejack had stood there for awhile and then said, "Yeah, that's not gonna happen." She then jumped high in the air and came crashing down on the bed so hard that it caused Rarity to fall off. And while Applejack was appearing to be all cozy like, Jonathan then watched as she and Rarity partake in another tedious argument.

"You did that on purpose," said Rarity accusingly.

"Um, yeah?" remarked Applejack.

"Get up so I can fix it again."

"Can't hear ya, I'm asleep." She then started to mock her by letting out some fake snores, but that soon came to an end when Rarity had pulled the blanket off of her. "I ain't budgin'."

"You will if you want any blankets." Next thing you know, they both found themselves having a little tug-of-war match over a blanket.

As Jonathan was watching them pull that blanket back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, he was really starting to get tensed up. Oh my God, will these fucking bimbos give it a break already?! And just when he was about to make those words come out of his mouth, Twilight had suddenly woken up and shout, "ENOUGH!" the second they both stopped doing what they were just doing, Twilight had levitated her guide book and said, "It says right here that the number one thing you're suppose to do at a slumber party is have fun, and thanks to you two, I can't check that off!" I swear to God, if she mentions just one more little tidbit out of that fucking book, I'm gonna...!

Suddenly, more blasts of thunder started to act up. Twilight had turned the lights back on and they all went to the window and saw that a bolt of lightning had blasted the midsection of a tree! To make matters worse, that tree was about to fall upon a house! Applejack then said to Rarity, "Ya see? That's why we needed to take down all those loose branches in town, not spiffy 'em up."

"But I..."

"Outta my way missy," interrupted Applejack, "time's a-wastin'."

She opened the window and was preparing to toss her lasso towards it. As she was getting ready, Rarity cried, "Wait! Stop! Don't!"

But being the stubborn dumbass that she is, Applejack wouldn't listen, "No waitin'! No stoppin'! Just doin'!" she then let her lasso fly across the air, and was able to stop the tree from falling onto the house. "And that, my friends, is what we call gettin' her done." Did she really just end that sentence with a Larry the Cable Guy quote? Anyway, the second Applejack had pulled back on her lasso, they each found themselves being suddenly pushed forward! Jonathan had ended up landing face first to the floor, and it resulted in his nose being busted and bloodied! As he placed his hand over his nose while doing Peter Griffin's pain sigh, he looked up and saw that the tree that Applejack had pulled was sticking right through the window and taking up all of Twilight's space.

Rarity then said to Applejack, "I tried to tell you it would come crashing down in here!"

To this, Applejack said, "Well ya shoulda tried harder!"

Then--surprisingly--Jonathan had heard himself shout out, "No, you should've just stopped for a couple of seconds and listened to her, you Goddamn numskull!"

Applejack then said to him in an annoyed tone, "Jonathan, you're really startin' to sound like Jeffrie. And that's the last thing we need right now." Why do they keep telling me this?! She then said to Twilight, "I'm mighty sorry, Twilight."

Then Twilight was like, "It's...well, it's not OK. There's a giant tree branch in my bedroom, and the book doesn't say anything about having a giant tree branch at your slumber party. Or at least I haven't found that entry yet."

As she was skimming through her guide book, she, Applejack, and Rarity were beyond shocked when Jonathan cried out, "Jesus fucking Christ, Twilight! Will you give that fucking book a rest already?! Don't you see you have more important things to be worrying about?!"

She just looked at him for awhile with a "What the fuck" expression on her face, and then she told him, "Jonathan, what's gotten into you? You haven't been being yourself, lately."

"Why do you all keep telling me this?!" cried Jonathan. "I'm pretty sure that I've said these sort of things to you ponies before; so why do you keep insisting that I never do any of this?!"

"Sweet Celestia," Applejack blurted in irritancy, "do we really have ta spell it out fer ya?"

"Well gee, I just asked you why you always say that Jeffrie's the only one who does this sort of stuff; so yeah, I would like you to spell it out!"

"OK, I'll tell ya; it's becuase you're too goshdarn whiny!"

Jonathan didn't quite get what it was they were conveying to him, "What're you talking about? I might be pretty moody on a daily basis, but that doesn't make me whiny."

"No, it's true, darling," Rarity stated. "Even on the rare occasions that you do get angry, I always find it rather cute compared to Jeffrie."

Twilight then added more information, "You see Jonathan, when Jeffrie gets angry, it legitimately sounds intimidating; but when you get angry, it just sort of sounds like a little kid throwing a hissy fit."

Jonathan was a bit in denial for awhile, "Oh yeah, give me one good example."

Applejack then gave him an example, "On the day y'all were livin' with me and my family, I remember seein' Jeffrie and Andrew draggin' you outside while you was screamin' like a little girl."

Jonathan was a bit flustered at the moment, but he later regained his composure and said, "Yeah, well I'd like to see any of you give me more examples." Then after they each attacked him with a barrage of examples, he eventually lost his cool, "OK, OK, I get it! Just...just let me go down and cool off for awhile."

When he went down stairs, he started to pace back and forth as he was having a little temper-tantrum (not the over-the-top ones where he's breaking stuff, just the down-played ones where he's just shouting). "Goddamn these ponies; I come over to tell Twilight that I have the hots for her, and then they had to come in and ruin it! First they prevent me from ever putting a move on her, then she tells me that she was never interested in me to begin with, and now they tell me that I'm whiny! THESE PONIES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! And I don't get how Jeffrie is able to put up with this; I mean if I were the one who was losing my temper, I probably would've killed them by now!" then his temper was suddenly drained out, for an epiphany had hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh my God, I finally get it. Jeffrie doesn't just lose his temper over these ponies just for the sake of telling them that he hates them; he does it just to keep me and Andrew from doing it ourselves. Now that I think about it, if Jeffrie wasn't the one to lose his temper, me and Andrew would've murdered them all. And yet day after day, he's constantly keeping us from ever doing that just for the sake of these ponies. I better tell 'em this." And so as Jonathan was going up the stairs to share his new found knowledge with the ponies, he was a bit surprised when he noticed that the tree was nowhere to be found. "What happened to the tree?"

"Not to worry, darling," said Rarity, "I was able to get rid of it with my magic."

Then Applejack added, "And we were both able ta put our differences aside and fix this mess together."

"Great," said Jonathan, "now that that's finally out of the way, I want to share with you all on what I just learned today."

"Really, and what's that?" asked Twilight.

"Well Twilight, I think I've finally found out why it is Jeffrie's the one who does all of this mean stuff to all of you. It's because he's trying to keep me and Andrew from hurting all of you. This may sound confusing at first, but if you really think about it, it's kinda true. For example, when were about to go to Sweet Apple Acres when we first got here, Spike had said something that got me so mad that I would've crushed him if Jeffrie hadn't been there to stop me. And I know that Andrew might appear to be a bit of pushover now and then, but if you were to provoke him to some extent, he might really try to hurt you. And the reason why none of this has ever happened is because Jeffrie is always there to keep us from doing these things. He can get annoyed by you ponies, and he knows that we can get annoyed by you ponies too. And that's the reason why he's always the one who yells at you; because if he does before we can, then there's no point for us to yell at you. And after all this time, we've been completely taking him for granted. You all might think of him as some rude asshole for doing these sort of things; but you should always remember that he doesn't do these things just because he hates you, he does it just to protect you from me and Andrew." After that heartfelt speech, he looked through the window and noticed that all the grey clouds had suddenly disolved and released the beams of the sun. "Oh look, it finally stopped raining. I suppose it's time for me to be going."

Twilight then said, "Wait Jonathan, wasn't there something you wanted to tell me before the storm had started?"

Now you'd probably be expecting him to take advantage of this one shot he'll ever get, but after all that has transpired he figured, "Some other time, Twilight. I will tell you what I need to tell you someday, just not today. Besides, I need to have my nose checked anyway." And with that said, he walked out of Twilight's place, failing to get the girl--just as I bet he would.

A few minutes later, Jonathan had came back into the house with a large white cloth covering his nose, while being held by a long strap around his face. When he came into the kitchen, he sat next to Andrew--who was eating a bowl of this worlds' equivalent of Cookie Crisp. When Andrew finally saw his face, he was like, "What the Hell happened to you?"

"It's a long story," groaned Jonathan.

"So, did you tell Twilight?"

"No Andrew, I did not. Apparently today wasn't my lucky day after all."

"Well, looks like I've lost five bucks now."

"Why is that?"

"After you left, me and Jeffrie were having bets on whether you would tell her or not. He betted that you wouldn't, while I betted that you would."

"Well thanks for believing in me, man. Where is Jeffrie, anyway?"

"He's still in his room, sleepin'."

"How could he have been able to sleep through that storm?"

"That would be the result of these." Andrew then took out of his pocket and gave to Jonathan a bottle of pills.

"Where did you get these?" asked Jonathan. "And for that matter, why would you need them in the first place?"

A smile then grew upon Andrew's face as he told him, "Well, you remember when he used me as a human shield against that dragon?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I've been planning, and planning, and planning of a way to get back at him for it. When I finally did came up with a plan, I went over to that pony dentist and asked her for some of those pills that you take when you're about to get a tooth removed. When I mentioned Jeffrie, she of course went and gave them to me free of charge. During the thunder storm, me and Jeffrie were just chillin' and having Coke. When he went to take a piss, I dropped some of them into his can and I just waited for the effects to take over. When he finally did passed out, I took him up to his room, and I finally got my revenge."

"What did you do to him?"

"Oh you'll see, Jonathan. You'll see."