After Trixie--AKA, The Fake Wizard with the big fat mouth--had left Ponyville, Twilight was now going to punish Dumb & Dumber for luring that Ursa Minor in the first place. Spike gave her a suggestion, and so she used her unicorn magic to give Dumb & Dumber--and Spike for some strange reason--moustaches! Me and the guys went up to Spike and I said, "Hey, check it out, we're now facial hair buddies." The reason I brought that up was mostly due to the fact that we were just beginning to grow our facial hair. But let's save all that for the next day.

When the next day finally came, I went to the bathroom to take a usual morning piss. As I was washing my hands, that's when I looked at myself through the mirror and saw that on my face stood a full grown beard! I used to remember how my parents--mostly my dad--would always shave any bit of facial hair that was on my face. The one major perk of being in a world ruled by talking ponies is the fact that I'm billions of miles away from my parents, and I can finally grow that beard that I always wanted.

I then decided to show it off to the guys--who just happen to be growing some facial hair of their own. Jonathan had a five o'clock shadow, while Andrew had himself a goatee. Jonathan didn't make too much of a big deal about it, but Andrew however was just looking at me as if he were saying, "You lucky son of a bitch." I mean if you ever looked like a bearded Jake Gyllenhaal, wouldn't your friends be jealous?

Anyway, I then decided that the next thing to do is to go show this off to the ponies and see what their reactions would be. And the guys decided to tag along since they didn't really have much to do today. As we were walking out of the house, Jonathan said, "What the Hell is that?" we looked up and saw that it was a huge cloud of smoke.

I then said, "Either there's a forest fire or somebody's having a barbecue."

Andrew then said in his Homer Simpson impersonation, "Mmm, barbecue." And we all had ourselves a short laugh for the road.

Anyway, we then saw the ponies getting packed-up for what's probably an extreme hiking trip. I walked up to Twilight and said, "Hey, what's going on?"

Twilight was looking over some map as she responded, "Not much, just going to stop a dragon."

"Did you say dragon?"

"Yep."

"A big dragon?"

"That's right."

"Can we come?"

"Sure, we're probably going to need all the help we can get."

I then went to the guys and said, "Hey guys, guess what we're going to be doing?"

Jonathan then guessed, "We're going to see you make out with Fluttershy while having that carpet on your face?"

"No," I said, "we're going to see a dragon."

"A dragon?" said Andrew. "Like a big dragon, not a little one?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "we're talking like Smaug sized."

"Well what are we waiting for?" and so we were all off to see a full grown dragon.

As we were walking along, Twilight was explaining to us how all of this smoke was being caused by the dragon. Apparently this dragon is having himself a nap, and let's just say that his snores aren't the only thing that's becoming a health hazard. So basically Twilight and her friends are trying to get to it and tell it to sleep somewhere else. Yeah that's more possible to work than convincing Spyro to stop selling himself out to that stupid Skylander crap.

When we came to this big mountain that the dragon was sleeping in, Rainbow Dash insisted on flying straight to the top. But Applejack felt that they should all stay together just to be safe. So Rainbow Dash had reluctantly decided to stay with the group--something tells me that she's not much of a team player.

While all the ponies were climbing up the mountain, Fluttershy--for some strange reason--was staying behind. I said to her, "Aren't you going up?"

Then she said timidly, "Oh, but it's so high."

"Well mountains do tend to be like that," I told her. "But it's no problem for you, you can just fly. You do have wings, after all."

"Oh, OK." She then started to fly up a bit, but then the ground suddenly trembled as we felt the full effect of the dragon's earthquake snores (and I wouldn't want to imagine what sort of natural disaster occurs in Japan when a dragon snores). But we weren't the only ones who were being daunted by this snore-quake; apparently the dragon's snore caused Fluttershy's wings to stop flapping, and she would've broken them if I hadn't caught her in my arms.

She was trembling a bit, but when she noticed me holding her in my arms, she wrapped her hooves around my neck and said, "Oh, Jeffrie, you saved me!" then when she started to rub her face against mine, that's when she finally noticed my beard for the first time. She was just slowly rubbing her face against my beard as she said, "Oh Jeffrie, what's this furry black thing that I'm feeling?"

I told her, "That would be my beard; just grew it today."

She then continued to rub it and let out a soft purr. "Oh it feels so hairy, and I like it." But that soon came to an end when the dragon snored again. Only this time the snore made her fall flat on her back all paralyzed like--and I coulda sworn that I heard something that sounded like a goat bleat.

Applejack then came sliding down the mountain and said, "I'll just be takin' her around the mountain." She then tied Fluttershy's tail around her head and dragged her around the mountain.

Andrew then said, "Shouldn't we follow them?"

Then I said, "Nah, we'll just climb up the mountain and wait." And that's exactly what we did. I was the first to reach the top, then Jonathan, and when Andrew was about to come up, his foot slipped and he was about to fall. But luckily me and Jonathan were there to lift him up.

While we waited for Applejack and Fluttershy, we tried to kill time by just chatting. Jonathan said, "Hey, Jeffrie."

"Yeah."

"You remember yesterday when you made it clear that you like and not love Fluttershy?"

"E'yup."

"Well me and Andrew just realized something."

"And what's that?"

"Fluttershy doesn't like you; oh no, no, no, no. She loves you."

I was then like, "What was that?!"

Then Andrew said, "What Jonathan's trying to say is that you might not have a crush on her, but she definitely has a crush on you."

"And what would make you two sickos think that?"

Jonathan then said, "Well she sure was fondling your beard a lot."

"She's a chick," I said, "all chicks dig facial hair."

"I don't think it's the facial hair she wants," said Andrew, "I think she wants the whole set of you--if you know what I mean."

When I finally got the little sexual remark he had made, I told them, "Yeah, why don't you two save your sick wet dreams for your bestiality version of Fifty Shades of Grey?"

Jonathan then said, "Look man, you don't have to keep denying your own feelings; if you love her so much then just say it. And she'll definitely say yes if you just tell her. It's like what I always say: love is love."

I then said to him, "First of all, let's get one thing clear; there's no way she's in love with me. I am way too much of a jerk for her to love."

To this, Jonathan said, "But you're always so nice to her."

"But am I nice to everybody?"

Andrew then said to Jonathan, "I guess he got us there." That'll shut 'em up. As I had this thought in my head, that's when Applejack and Fluttershy had finally came up. Applejack said exhaustingly, "We. Made. It." and with that said, we finally continued on.

We all came to a part of the mountain where the ponies had to jump off some cliff. But Fluttershy seemed a bit reluctant to do it. Pinkie Pie then tried to raise her spirit by singing a musical number about jumping--it was short but it was still annoying. Fluttershy then found it in her to at least try to jump; but right in the middle of the jump, she stopped the second she looked down. But don't worry, she didn't fall down, she was just caught in the middle of the cliff. So I just gave her a little push and then she was on the other side.

Now it was mine and the guys turn to jump--although it wasn't that much of a jump, it was more of a step, really. The cliff wasn't even that wide, the edges were so close to each other that Fluttershy and the others could've just saved all that energy that they wasted on jumping it by just stepping over it. In fact, as we were moving on, Jonathan pointed this out, "You all know that you could've just step over that cliff, right?" nobody responded to him, "Just wanted to let you all know."

We were now in an avalanche zone, which means that we had to be very quiet. Fluttershy's a real pro when it comes to being quiet, so I know for sure that she won't cause it. But as we were walking, I notice a leaf that was falling off of some tree. And when it just happened to land on Fluttershy's back, she cried out, "AVALA...!" I quickly covered her mouth with my hand, but that didn't stop the echoes of Fluttershy's voice.

Nothing happened so far; the echoes of Fluttershy screaming kept going on, but no rocks were falling down. And it all would've end smoothly if the other ponies hadn't added a loud sigh of relief to those echoes. And that's when all the rocks started to fall down!

Nonetheless, we had made it out alive; but the avalanche however did leave a giant hill of dirt and rumble in the middle of the path. So we clearly had no choice but to climb it.

It was no problem in anyway for me and the guys; we were able to walk to the top of that thing in three seconds flat. But it did take the ponies awhile to catch up--what with them having four legs and all. When they did caught up, I jokingly said, "Well it's about time you slow-pokes showed up."

Twilight rolled her eyes and said under her breath, "Two-leggers."

Since it was going to take awhile for them to go down, we decided to just lay back and enjoy the view. But as Fluttershy was going down, she somehow tripped and started to slide down very fast. She would've bumped into Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, if I hadn't slid down and stopped her. As I was holding her in my arms again, she wrapped her hooves around my neck again, rubbed her face on my beard again, and said, "Oh, thanks for saving me again."

When I felt that she was rubbing my beard long enough, I said, "You can let go now."

She then let go and was like, "Oh, sorry." And I coulda sworn that I saw her blush as she turned away from me...I'm starting to think that Andrew's and Jonathan's little love theory about her might be true.

Anyway, after a few more minutes of walking, we finally reached the top of the mountain. Before we could go in and stop that dragon, Twilight started to go over the plan, "Rainbow Dash, you'll use your wings to clear away the smoke." Rainbow Dash flew into the smoke and fanned it away. "Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there." Pinkie Pie then started to play around with a rubber chicken for some strange reason. "Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack." Applejack then kicked some apples--I bet Andrew was getting a kick out of that.

I then decided to point out an obvious flaw. "Really, you're gonna try to stop a dragon by throwing apples at it?"

Then Applejack replied, "Well shoot, why wouldn't I?"

"Well Applejack," I said, "Do you have any idea what the scales of a dragon are like? It's scales are literally like a thousand shields. There's no way that a couple of apples can do any harm to that beast. Why didn't you bring anything more useful? Like a knife, or a sword, or an axe, or a spear, or arrows; you know, something that'll actually kill the dragon?"

Twilight then said, "Jeffrie, we didn't came all this way to kill it; we're just gonna get rid of it."

Then I retorted, "Now hold on there, isn't kill technically the same as getting rid of?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"But nothing, now all of this smoke here is coming from the dragon's snoring, right? Well, it can't snore if it's dead. So if you were to think about it, we could be doing Ponyville a huge favor just by slaying it."

Andrew then said, "He does have a point there."

And Jonathan added, "Yeah, killing the dragon definitely sounds better than just letting it live. I mean, who knows what worse it might end up doing after this is all over?"

I then continued, "And like I said before, apples aren't going to harm that dragon in anyway. Sure, he'll feel some type of feeling, but it won't be pain. And when he does get that feeling, he'll probably be very pissed when he finds out who did that to him. And you all might consider yourselves lucky if he doesn't burn all of you to a crisp."

That last statement caused Fluttershy to fall on her back and make that goat bleat again. Jonathan leaned over and whispered to me sarcastically, "Way to take her breath away, lady-killer."

Twilight then said, "Anyway, it shouldn't come to any of that. Because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between the two of us, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go. Is everypony ready?" everybody except Fluttershy responded.

I then added, "She means everybody."

Twilight was then like, "Don't start that again."

"If you just pronounce your words right I wouldn't have to start this."

Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "Come on, Fluttershy, let's just get this over with."

She then went into the cave, but Fluttershy just stood behind. When she noticed that Fluttershy wasn't with her, she and the other ponies tried to push her into the cave, but to no avail--apparently Fluttershy's a lot stronger than all the ponies combined. Rainbow Dash then said, "Oh great. She's scared of caves now, too."

To this Fluttershy said, "I'm not scared of caves, I'm scared of..." she mumbled the last word.

Applejack said, "What's that, sugarcube?"

"I'm scared of..." she mumbled again.

Twilight said, "What?"

"I'm scared of dragons!"

Right when she said that, the dragon's snore-quakes started to act up again. So this whole time, Fluttershy was afraid of dragons--I guess that explains why she keeps falling on her back and bleating like a goat. Twilight then said, "But Fluttershy, you have a wonderful talent dealing with all kinds of animals."

To this, Fluttershy said, "Yes, because they're not dragons."

Rainbow Dash said, "Oh come on! We've seen you walk right up to a horrible manticore like it was nothing."

"Yes," admitted Fluttershy, "because he wasn't a dragon."

Pinkie Pie said, "Spike is a dragon, and you're not scared of him."

"Yes," said Fluttershy, "because he's not a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnawing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, totally all grown-up dragon!"

Yeah, lucky for them that Spike isn't big enough to destroy the whole town, right? I mean could you just imagine how screwed these ponies would be if Spike was all grown-up? I'm telling you, they would be fucked up the ass by that point! But let's focus on the story for the time being; I went to Fluttershy and said, "Fluttershy, if you're so scared of dragons, why didn't you just stay home?"

Then she told me, "I wanted to, but Twilight insisted that I go along with them."

I turned to Twilight and said, "Really, you made her go even though she's afraid of dragons?"

She immediately said in her defense, "Well I didn't know that she was scared of them until now!"

I then turned my attention back to Fluttershy and said, "Look Fluttershy, you got nothing to be ashamed of. We're all just as scared as you are."

Rainbow Dash then blurt out, "I'm not!"

I turned to her and said, "Excuse me, big silly braggart, but I was talking to Fluttershy." And then I turned back to Fluttershy, "Now Fluttershy, you like lizards, don't you? You know, those little reptiles that are about the same size as Angel?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well then, don't think of it as a dragon; instead, think of it as a lizard, with wings."

Then Jonathan made it worse by saying, "Yeah, a big giant winged lizard, with razor sharp teeth, claws, and can breathe fire." The second he said that, Fluttershy was now in fetal position, whimpering.

I turned to Jonathan and I told him, "Now who's the lady-killer?" and then I turned my attention back to Fluttershy, "OK Fluttershy, here's another option. What if I go in there with you?" she then stopped her whimpering and looked up at me, "You don't have to go in there alone; I'll be right beside you. And if that dragon ever tries to attack you, then I'll just let him take me instead."

Everyone--including the guys--were gasping in shock. Fluttershy was then like, "Y-you would do that for me?"

"Of course," I told her, "I wouldn't let you die."

Everyone was silent for awhile, and then I heard somebody crying; and that somebdoy turned out to be Jonathan. He was placing his face on Andrew's shoulder as Andrew patted him and said, "There, there, no shame in crying." It's kinda weird how the drama kings are always the most emotional. In fact, if I were to die today, I'd expect Jonathan to be crying the most at the funeral.

Anyway, after a brief silence, Fluttershy said, "I...I...I just can't." she was beginning to tear up a bit.

I then tried to assure her, "You have nothing to worry about, I'll be right beside you."

"That's just it," cried Fluttershy, "I just can't bear to lose you!"

"What're you talking about? You're not gonna lose me."

"Yes I will! You've saved me twice now; if I keep letting you risk your life for my sake, then I will lose you. I'm sorry Jeffrie, but I'm just a burden." She then hugged me and said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just get out of your way." She then flew behind a giant rock.

Rainbow Dash tried to go get her, but I stopped her and said, "No Rainbow Dash, let her be."

She was like, "What?! You can't be serious!"

"Does it look like I'm not serious?!" I raised my voice. Rainbow Dash then had a scared look on her face, "That's what I thought." I then said to the others, "Now Fluttershy doesn't want to face that dragon; and if she doesn't want to do it, then we have no right to force her to do something she doesn't want to do."

Twilight then said, "But we have to stop the dragon."

"And we will," I told her, "but we're just going to have to do it without Fluttershy's help. Now are we just gonna let that thing suffocate everybody, or are we going to stop it?" everybody started to go towards the cave, while I just stood where I was for awhile. I turned my head towards the giant rock that Fluttershy was hiding behind and I notice that she was poking her head out a bit. I said to her, "You're not a burden, Fluttershy. You're neither that or a coward; you're just trying so hard to be one, when all you need is a little bit of confidence." I then turned away and went towards the cave.

Twilight was the first to go in; when she came to the dragon, I heard her say, "Mr. Dragon." There came a loud rumble, "Excuse me, Mr. Dragon." There came another loud rumble--apparently this thing is a sound sleeper.

I then said out loud to Twilight, "Hey Twilight, I don't think he can hear you."

Twilight made a shushing sound and said, "Keep it down, Jeffrie! You'll wake him!"

Andrew then said, "Isn't that what you're doing right now?"

"Yes," said Twilight, "but not so loud!"

That mischevious desire to pull pranks on people then started to sneak into my brain again; I place both my hands next to my mouth and cried, "HEY! WAKE UP YOU BIG SCALY LIZARD!" me and Andrew were just laughing our asses off, while the ponies had heart attacks.

Jonathan dragged me and Andrew away from the ponies and said, "What the Hell, Jeffrie?! You trying to get Twilight killed?!"

"What's wrong, Jonathan," I said, "you think she's in danger? Then why don't you be her knight in shining armor and go save your damsel in distress?"

Me and Andrew laughed while Jonathan cried, "Shut up!"

Andrew then started to act like Twilight, "Oh Jonathan, you're my hero!" he started to make kissing sounds as a way to add insult to injury.

Jonathan then said, "Andrew, I said shut up!"

"Why don't you make me?"

"I don't make monkeys, I train 'em!" they were then about to beat the crap out of one another. That is until I got between them and said, "Whoa, whoa, don't get your panties in a wad; it was just a joke." And that's when Twilight came out; I walked up to her and said, "So...how did it go?"

Then she said, "Well, after that loud outburst of yours, the dragon finally woke up."

Jonathan said, "And he's going to leave now, right?"

"Not exactly," said Twilight, "I tried to reason with him, but he just ignored me and went back to sleep."

Andrew then said, "So who has plan B?"

"That was plan B," said Twilight.

"Then what was plan A?"

"Plan A involved Fluttershy."

"OK, then who has plan C?"

Everyone was silent for awhile, then Rarity said, "Obviously this situation just calls for a little pony charm. Allow me girls--and gentlemen." She then went into the cave and spoke to the dragon, "I'm so sorry to interrupt." She was really beginning to put that southern belle accent of hers to good use, "But I couldn't possibly head back home without mentioning what handsome scales you have." As she was sweet talking the dragon, she was beginning to take some of his treasure. "And those scales have to be hidden away in some silly cave for a hundred years?" the dragon was starting to become flattered by Rarity's compliments. "Personally, I think you should skip the snoozing and be out there, showing them off." Everything was going just fine...that is until Rarity added, "Obviously, I would be more then happy to keep an eye on your jewels while you're gone." The second the dragon heard her say that, he quickly took all of his treasure away, and she ran out of that cave empty handed--or in her case, empty hoofed. She then started to complain about her failure, "I was this close to getting that diamond."

Twilight then corrected her, "You mean...getting rid of that dragon?"

"Oh, yeah...sure."

I then said to her, "Rarity, you didn't get any of that treasure because you didn't keep your mouth shut. If you hadn't mentioned anything about that dragon's treasure in the first place, you would've gotten away with it. But no, you just had to mention it right in front of him; that's like Bilbo telling Smaug that he'll guard his stolen treasure while he's off destroying Lake-town."

Rarity then said, "Oh, and I suppose that you can do a much better job than I?"

"Rarity," I said, "I've been stealing things since I was six; I can take anything I want without getting caught."

Applejack then said, "So basically you're some kind of treasure hunter?"

"Yeah," I declared, "they don't call me the master thief for nothing."

Jonathan then said, "I thought Sly Cooper was the master thief?"

"Yeah, well I'd dethroned him." I stated.

And this is when we all saw Pinkie Pie wearing a birthday present outfit, a large bow tie, large sunglasses, a balloon animal hat, balloons tied to her tail, scuba flippers, and she was blowing a noise maker. Rarity told her, "Darling, you look ridiculous."

To this, Pinkie said, "Exactly! Sharing a laugh is a sure-fire way to get someone on your side!"

Andrew whispered, "Isn't that what Roger Rabbit said?"

"I don't know," I whispered back, "this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about."

And so, Pinkie Pie went in that cave and soon came back out looking like someone who just got a swirlie and a wedgie at the same time (Apparently me and the dragon seem to be annoyed by the same things).

Rainbow Dash started to get angry and said, "All right, that's it. We tried persuasion, charm, whatever it is Pinkie Pie does. It's time to stop wasting time! I'm going in!" she was then going to just barge in there. But before she could do that, I stopped her and said, "Whoa, hold your horses!" me and the guys just had to chuckle; there was no way that we could say a horse pun in front of these talking ponies and not laugh about it.

Rainbow Dash said to herself, "Ugh, I hate it when he says those horse puns."

I then told her, "Now Rainbow Dash, before you go in there and do something stupid, as always, me and the guys want to go in and see that there dragon."

"You actually want ta go in there?" said Applejack, "What're ya crazy?"

"Well we didn't came all this way for nothing," I said, "at first I just wanted to show off my awesome beard, but now I want to see a full-grown dragon. That, and I need to show Rarity how a real thief steal things. So if you'll excuse us, we got ourselves a dragon to see." Me and the guys then went inside the cave.

As we walked inside the cave, we saw, standing upon a pile of treasure, a huge ass dragon! The dragon was red, and boy was it huge! I mean really huge! It was like the size of Godzilla! Jonathan was like, "Holy shit, look at the size of that thing!"

The dragon didn't seem to take much care about us, so we each took out our cellphones and started to take pictures of it. I went up to the dragon and said, "Hey guys, take my picture with the dragon." And they did just that. After that, I then took out my video camera and turned it on. "Hey, it's me, Jeffrie. I'm with Andrew and Jonathan, and what I'm about to show you is not fake--it's totally real!" I then turned the camera at the dragon, "Hey big guy, can you roar?" he then roared, "Can you also breathe fire?" he then breathed some fire. I then turned the camera off and said, "OK, fun times over. Time for you to get your big scaly ass on out of here, so skadoosh!" the dragon just stood where he was.

Andrew said, "I don't think he's leaving."

"No shit," I said.

"So what do we do now?" asked Jonathan.

"I got an idea," I said. I then said to the dragon, "Hey Mushu, your breath smells like Daenerys' poontang, and I had sex with your mother last night!" the dragon started to get pissed, "That's right, your mom is a filthy dragon skank with a flat chest and a fat ass!" now the dragon was really getting pissed.

Jonathan said, "Jeffrie, I don't think you should've done this."

"Oh relax," I said, "What's he gonna do? It's not like he's gonna..." the dragon was then preparing to burn us to a crisp! I then cried, "HUMAN SHIELD!" and then me and Jonathan hid behind Andrew. He was like, "Hey, what're you doing?" and then what happened next was Andrew screaming like a little girl as the dragon flames engulfed him!

When we exited the cave, me and Jonathan were OK, but poor Andrew's body was completely blackened from top to bottom. Applejack was like, "What in tarnation just happened?!"

I then said, "Oh it was awful, that dragon was about to breathe fire on me; but luckily Andrew rushed in and blocked it. Thanks buddy."

Andrew just looked at me all angry like and said, "FUCK YOU!"

Jonathan then said, "Ooh, Andrew, I think you just lost your goatee."

"What?!" he rubbed the soot off his face, and to his horror, his goatee was completely shaved off! He then dropped to his knees and screamed, "NOOOO!"

I then let out a whistle and was like, "Good thing I was behind Andrew; otherwise I would've lost all of this."

Andrew looked at me and he said under his breath, "Oh I so can't wait for you to fall asleep tonight!"

"Oh, and one more thing." I digged into my pocket and in the clutches of my hand was abunch of gold coins!

Rarity and the others were just gaping at this sight. She was like, "H-h-how did you do that?"

And I told her, "Oh, I just took a couple while I was having my picture with the dragon; and he didn't even notice it. You see, Rarity, this is how you steal things: by not saying anything about it, or doing anything suspicious, or getting caught! And that is why I'm the master thief!"

Applejack then whispered to Rarity, "I guess he showed you."

I then said to Rainbow Dash, "OK, now you can now go do your thing." She then flew into the cave and what happened next was her kicking the dragon right in the snout! Jonathan said, "She's dead." And then the dragon roared so loud that it propelled Rainbow Dash and the ponies right into the rock that Fluttershy was hiding behind (good thing me and the guys had got out of the way). When they hit the rock, it shattered and it revealed Fluttershy.

Then out of the cave came the dragon--and boy was he pissed. As he was looking down upon us, I whispered, "Stand perfectly still, their vision is based on movement."

Jonathan was able to take his mind off the dragon to say, "That only works on T-Rexes!"

And to this I said, "It could work on dragons too."

While that was going on, Fluttershy just stood there and watched as the dragon was about to attack her friends. She was scared at first, but then she started to find a bit of anger in herself as she said, "How dare you...how dare you!" she then flew up to the dragon's face, "Listen here, mister. Just because your're big, doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not--I repeat--yo do NOT! HURT! MY! FRIENDS! You got that?"

We were all silent; Jonathan was like, "Damn, why wasn't she like this with Gilda?"

"Well?" asked Fluttershy. And to our surprise, the dragon said, "But that rainbow one kicked me."

Fluttershy then told him, "And I'm very sorry about that. But you're bigger than she is, and you should know better. You should also know better then to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures."

"But I..."

"Don't you 'but I' me, mister. Now what do you have to say for yourself?" the dragon was silent, "I said, what do you have to say for yourself?" the dragon then started to cry. And I'm not fucking with you. The dragon--this fire-breathing lizard--literally started to cry! I know, right! Anyway, Fluttershy then said, "There, there. There's no need to cry. You're not a bad dragon, you've just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all."

And with that said, the dragon flapped its huge ass wings and flew off to the sky. As we were watching this, I said to the guys, "I guess that's one way to train your dragon."

After an hour of getting off the mountain, we were all just hanging around near Twilight's place. While Rainbow Dash was bouncing a ball around, Fluttershy went up to me and said, "Thanks, Jeffrie."

"For saving you?"

"No, for what you told me. You were right, all I needed was a little bit of confidence."

"Well since we're thanking each other, I ought to thank you for saving our asses back there. Who knows what that dragon would've done to us if you hadn't stood up to him."

Rainbow Dash kept on bouncing that ball until this loud roar came out of nowhere. She then cried, "DRAGON!" and she fell on her back and bleated like a goat--just like Fluttershy. We just all had to laugh; she was then like, "Why are you laughing? That awful dragon is back!"

We then heard that roar again, but it turned out to just be Pinkie Pie sounding like one. I then said, "Well, check it out, guys. Looks like Rainbow Dash finally showed her true colors."

This caused Rainbow Dash to say, "What're you talking about?"

Jonathan said, "It seems to me that you're more scared of dragons than Fluttershy."

And Andrew added, "What's the matter, does a winged lizard make a coward out of ya?" and we were all just laughing away as Rainbow Dash cried, "Shut up!"

I then asked her, "Hey Rainbow Dash, quick question: is it dragons that sound like Pinkie Pie that makes you a spineless pussy, or is it all dragons?" we laughed some more, and Rainbow Dash retorted by shouting, "SHUT UP!"

Fluttershy flew up to her and said, "It's OK, Rainbow Dash. Not everypony can be as brave as me."

Jonathan was like, "Ooh, would you like some ice to go with that burn?"

Rainbow Dash however ignored that statement just so she could blow a leaf that was falling down, and have it land on Fluttershy's back. This caused Fluttershy to do that goat thing again, only this time I caught her before she could touch the ground. I looked at Rainbow Dash and said, "Really, you just had to do a cheap shot like that?"

She was like, "What?"

Then I said, "Not cool, Rainbow Dash, not cool." I then said to the guys, "Come on guys, we might as well take her home." We then took Fluttershy back to her cottage. After all the shit that she was having to go through today, she definitely deserved a break for one day.