Episode 1 part 3 of MLHS MSTs:
Homestuck High

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so this is the third chapter, and we got a warning by the author's note that this particular chapter contains adult content!
John Egbert: *curled up in the fetal position* thisisn'thappeningthisisn'thappeningthisisn'thappening...
Italy: I'm gonna make more pasta for you guys... we're gonna need a lot of carbs to get through this...
Twilight: I would like Parmesan cheese on my portion.
John: lots of tomato sauce, make sure it's peanut free!
Italy: Comin' up!

John and Rose were in a field holding hands and kissing. They were alone and the sun was high in the sky. Rose was in a long white dress and a sun hat and John was chasing her through corn and sunflowers.

Twilight: Wait, where did Jade's pregnancy go?
Jade Harley: the baby probably died, since im always emitting gamma radiation. i got it when i merged with my dog, bec after going god tier :D
John: jade! you're not part of this commentary! go away!
Jade: im a goddess of all space, you cant tell me what to do!
Twilight: She's got a point ;)
John: blarg! fine. but just because this fanfic involves you.
Twilight: Italy, we're gonna need more pasta for Jade!
Italy: What does she want on it?
Jade: lots of meatballs! extra rare and lightly irradiated!
Italy: Coming right up!

He felt happy. She spun around and her silken gown brushed against the corn as she ran backwards in slow motion. John went to grab her, but she moved out of the way and he stumbled over a giant cliff and fell into darkness.

John: wait, i fell off a cliff!? when did this happen!?

"John" a voice boomed as he hit the floor "I am the dark genie of precipice Araida!"

Jade: when did aradia get into all this?
Twilight: Who is Aradia?
Jade: shes a really cool frog ghost troll fairy grim reaper person!
Twilight: Wait, what?

Thunder boomed.
"You are yur frends are in GRAEVE DANGER" she said
"What do you mean!" John said he didnt want any harm to come to Rose so he was worried since they handnt had sex yet.

John: i'm my own best friend.
Twilight: You also don't have very good priorities.

"JADE IS PREGNANT WITH THE SON OF A DEVIL" Aradia bombed as more thunder struck loudly "And Rose is NEXT"

Jade: oh nooo!!!

"O M G" John giggled

John: *in a valley girl voice* like, o m g, my sister is like, so totally pregnant with an evil demon spawn! like, that is so, like terrible and so funny! liek lol!
Jade: john, are you okay?
John: no. i think this story's driving me insane.
Twilight: Keep your sanity. You're gonna need it for the next story after this one!
Italy: Pasta's done!
Everyone else: YAY!

"you must destroy the dammed incubes on a nigth when the moon is full and spill his blod onto Jade and make her drink it so it kills the baba!" Ariada proclaimed

Twilight: To quote Scootaloo: "Wha-HUH!?"
John: it's now my turn to ask you a question: who is scootaloo?
Twilight: She's a pegasus filly who loves riding her scooter around Ponyville! She's a friend of my friend Rainbow Dash.
John: hmm...

"But WHO IS THE INUCUBS!" John demolished as he clentched his fists.
Aradia glowed "You must find out for yourself john!

John: yes, because the all knowing genie can't tell me.

UNLASH THE POWER FROM WITHIN AND DO NOT LET THE DEMON TANT YOUR ROSE OR SHE WILL WILT"

Italy: Ha! Wilt,'cause her name is Rose.
Twilight: Yes, we can all thank this author for the awful flower pun.

She handed him two plastic horns
"When you put these on you will turn into my faithful demon sslayer ERIDAN" she magistrated "He will serve you well"

John: i never met eridan, but i heard he was a massive ******--
Twilight: John! Language!
John: and not a demon slayer. although, karkat told me that he liked to kill angels.
Twilight: What?
John: sburb angels, not magic angels. sburb angels are scary, winged monsters that bend reality.
Twilight: So are magic angels.

"Ok" John said and he woke up

John: okay, i'll admit that this is kinda in character for me.

"Oh your ok" Rose said and she hugged John

"What happened" John elaborated as Dave hugged him next.

Dave raged "Dark magick came out of your mcdonnaldss burger and FOUND ITS WAY TO YOUR SOUL"

Twilight: That's not how you use the word "elaborated"! Get it right!
Italy: And why is there a genie in a burger?
America: DID SOMEBODY SAY--
Twilight, John, Jade and Italy: NO!!!!!
*America leaves*

"How!" John demanded

"we do not yet know" Tarvos clemenced "We think that by eating it it distrupted the forces within your purities"

John: what does "clemenced" mean?

"oh my gog" John said seriously

Jade: hey look! an actual thing from homestuck is mentioned!

The next day at school the group sat in a dark corner away from everoyne else as hey tried to think what happened to Jonn.

But John knew that deep down there was an demon after Rose's ovaries.

Twilight: Quit with the references to reproductive organs!
Italy: Friendly reminder that this is the adult section of the fanfic.
Twilight: ARRRGHHHHH!

He couldnt bare the thought of his love falling to such a trap.

"Maybe it was just food poisoning" Feferi helped

"No my legs began to shake with a need i have long forgotten when i saw the black aroma!" Tarvos said

John: wait, karkat/tavros can't use his legs to walk but he can use them to detect demons?
Twilight: Logic! It does not exist!

"Where are Jade?" Rose asked

Dave began to cry into Tarvos shoulder. John had a feeling in his gut that this was not a god sign.

Jade: if dave is crying its definitely not a good--um, "god"--sign...

"She cheated on me with a college guy" he moaned into Tarvos. he was so upset.

"OMG Dave" Vriska purred as she pulled his face into her boobs. Dave cried into them instead.

Jade: this is very out of character for dave. he never once cried around me; he didnt cry when his bro died, he didnt cry when we broke up, and from what jack and pm told me, he didnt even cry when he found out that i [SPOILER EXPUNGED]!
Twilight: He must be really tough.
Jade: yep, he is. thats what attracted me to him :p
John: then why did you guys break up!?
Jade: were thinking of getting back together, but we havent talked much about it yet. were taking things slow.
Twilight: Always a good idea.

"John we need to talk" Rose announced

"Ok" John said

They got up and went to a private part of the school where no one could see or hear them. John had a feeling that he would be getting lucky as some people call it but he knew he had to be carful. He couldnt risk getting his rose pregnant or the conseqences would be FATALITY.

John: insert mortal kombat joke here.

"John" Rose moaned "Will u be my boyfriend?"

"Ok" John said

John: "i'm so submissive! i'll do anything!"
Italy: You're starting to sound like a slashfic ^_^
John: GAH!

"So you will have sex with me then since thats what people do when they go out" Rose said

John: no.

John could not resist those gigantic bosoms in that tight school top were begging him to rip it off right here and plant his seed DEEP inside of her. but he had to control himself or things would get bad.

John: No.

"I do not know Rose" John manifested "Maybe we should wait!"

John: Smart! Now RUN!

"I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU JON. I WANT YOU TO PUT IT IN ME NOW."

John: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

*the group reads on and John looks sick, then suddenly runs off; Twilight, Jade and Italy are all growing increasingly horrified*

Twilight: Oh...my...sweet...Celestia...in...a jumpsuit...this is...the single most obscene thing I have ever read in my entire life...
Italy: Oh God...I...I've actually lost my appetite...that's how disgusting this is!
Jade: its absolutely hideous and yet the misspellings and oocness makes it impossible to look away.
Twilight: We will not be copying down the sex scene, just to spare you from the details.
Jade: hey italy, where did john go?
Italy: He ran to the bathroom. He said something about taking a shower to "wash away the filth".
*cuts to John, lying curled up naked and crying on the floor of the shower*
John: I JUST CAN'T GET CLEAN!!!!!

"NO! John! Rose!" Jade's loud cry mewled.

They turned their sweaty heads to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen. His aura admitted a dark energy that made the clouds come together and boom lightening.

Jade: oh there i am! but i thought i was supposed to be cheating on dave with a college guy, not a demon.

"NOW THAT ROSE HAS BEEN GIVEN THE SEED I CAN PLANT MY SPAWN!" the evil man yelled

"Sollux, it hath been a while!" Tarvos trembled as he, Feferi, Dave, Vriska and Gamzee all came running up to the area.

Jade: sollux? but he's an alien nerd, not a demon!
Twilight: John has been in the shower for a long time...should someone go get him?
Jade: maybe hes trying to drown himself.
Twilight: OH SWEET CELESTIA! ITALY, GO SAVE HIM!
Jade: oh dont worry, john cant die unless his death is just or heroic. i dont think "death by suicidal despair" counts.
Twilight: Um...okaaay?
Italy: I checked up on him, he's fine.
Twilight: Oh thank goodness...
John: *offscreen* I STILL CAN'T GET CLEEEEAN!!!!!!!
Italy: Mostly.

"John, use the power of my demon slayer to help Jade!" John heard aradia's voice call.

He reached into his pockets and pulled out the plastic horns and stuck them into his head.

Jade: yeah, because everyone reacts that way when you hear a creepy ghost voice in your head.
Twilight: Wait, didn't John rip all of his clothes apart when he started...that scene? How can he "reach into his pockets"?
Jade: the world may never know.

He felt himself morphing into a different being until he was no longer John but a purple capped man with thick rimmed glasses.

"Sollux" John's now deep Eridan voice boomed "It's time to duel.

*John returns, wearing his God-Tier duds and toweling his hair dry*
Twilight: Feeling better?
John: *sigh* no.
Twilight: Well, the good news is that that's the end of this chapter!
Everyone else: YAY!
Twilight: The bad news is...there are five more after this...
Everyone else except John: AUGHHH!!!
John:...nnnNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued...