My Little HetaStuck MSTs
Episode 6

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so, when you last left us we were reading "My Immortal". Unfortunately, due to recent events within his fandom, John has to sit this one out. So, Harry, Italy and I will be doing the riffing for this one instead.
Harry Potter: *sarcastically* Yayy us. -_-;
Twilight: Italy? Is that pasta done?
Italy: Almost!
Twilight: Okay, on with the riff!
Harry: But first, I think we should check up on the author.
Twilight: Good thinking Harry! Cambot! Show us the author!
*Cambot does that*
CJ Croen: Boy I sure am glad that they let me keep my computer! And keep taking college classes online!
Umbridge: *barges in* WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!?
CJ: Well, I had college stuff to do, and I had to email my family to let them know I'm okay, and I watched Full Metal Alchemist on netflix, and--
Umbridge: Did I ask you for your life story?
CJ: Yes. Yes you did.
*Awkward Silence™*
Umbridge: Just keep typing.
CJ: Yes ma'am! *Umbridge leaves* Sucker...
*Cambot returns to normal view*
Harry: There he goes again!
Twilight: Do you think he has a plan or something?
Italy: Pasta's done!
Twilight: Alright, we can now continue the riff!

CHAPTER 3:

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

Twilight: No. We will NOT stop "flamming" the story.
Spike: *pops up randomly* Did somebody say flaming?
Twilight:...Yes. Please burn this fanfic for us. *Spike does just that. Unfortunately, it doesn't work* Oh well. It was worth a shot.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.

Harry: I think from now on we should skip the outfit descriptions.
Twilight: Good plan.

I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC.

Twilight: NO. NO. SHUT UP. NO.
Harry: Isn't she going to a Good Charlotte concert anyway?
Italy: I thought it was My Chemical Romance!

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

Twilight: Yes, because we needed to be reminded that Mary Sue--I mean, Ebony--is a vampire.

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

Italy: What you're saying and what you're describing are completely different!

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert.

Everyone: *facepalm*

On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

Twilight: It's not like you need to show us this, or anything.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

Harry: Well at least she acknowledged that she doesn't own the song. That's more than I can say about other fanfic writers...

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Italy: Yeah, because that's what every boyfriend wants to hear. I know Germany would just LOVE it if I told him that I thought France was hotter than him.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

Italy: What'd I tell you?

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

Twilight: Nice save. *rolls eyes*

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

Harry: This can't possibly be the ACTUAL Draco Malfoy. The REAL Draco Malfoy is a cowardly, arrogant wimp.
Twilight: That he is.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

Twilight:...Wow. Just WOW. Lady, what did Hilary Duff ever do to you?

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

Harry: That pause was unnecessarily long.
Twilight: Well, that's chapter 3. As an intermission, let's check up on the author! Cambot!
*Cambot shows the author. He's looking really angry as Umbridge stands behind him and nags him.*
CJ: Umbridge, I can't work this much if you keep interrupting me.
Umbridge: Well, you should have thought of that when you took your sweet time getting back to this series! Now keep writing! And why isn't that Egbert boy here?
CJ: He's got enough on his plate already with that new update. I didn't feel like tormenting him even more!
Umbridge: You're an idiot! Bring him back now!
CJ: You do realize that my status as the author makes me capable of affecting you too, right? I don't take kindly to being insulted.
Umbridge: *pulls out wand* HA! I'd like to see you try!
CJ: *while typing the next sentence* It'll be hard for you to hex me if your wand has turned into a Twizzler.
*Umbridge's wand turns into a Twizzler*
Umbridge: *tries to hex CJ, but can't* Wait, WHAT!?
Twilight: *watching* 8O
Harry: WOAH!
CJ: *takes a bite out of the "wand"* And it's Pull 'n Peel, too! My favorite ^_^
Umbridge: CHRYSALIS! CONDESCE! KILL HIM!
*Chrysalis and the Condesce run toward him*
CJ: *while typing* Suddenly, Chrysalis turns into a horsefly and the Condesce's trident becomes a salami!
*Suddenly, Chrysalis turns into a horsefly and the Condesce's trident becomes a salami!*
Chrysalis: *high pitched* Help meee! Help meee!
Condesce: AH! It's not even a CrockerCorp trademark! 38O
Twilight: YEAH! Take THAT!
Harry: Ha!
Umbridge: RUSSIA!
*Russia runs at CJ with his pipe in his hand and a sinister grin on his face*
CJ: *typing* I think Russia will find it hard to attack me when all his clothes disappear!
*Russia's clothes vanish and he freezes up. He slowly glances down at himself, his grin and pipe drop and his face turns red. Harry covers Twilight's eyes.*
Russia: AHHHH! *hides in a corner*
CJ: Your move, Dumbridge!
Umbridge: I...I...CONDESCE!?
Condesce: My trident! My beautiful trident!
Umbridge: CHRYSALIS!?
Chrysalis: Help mee! Help meeeee!
Umbridge:...R-Russia?
Russia: I am not moving from this spot until I get my clothes back! T^T
Umbridge:...I...I...?
CJ: Now I think we understand each other, Umbridge. I'm the author, I have the power, and I call the shots! YOU are the villains, so you cause the conflict and provide the requested badfics. Nothing more, nothing less. Got it?
Umbridge:...Yes. Now make my minions normal again!
CJ: Only if you release me and my pterodactyl and reduce the amount of chapters of "My Immortal" the riffers have to read to six!
Umbridge: NEVER!
CJ: Okay, have fun with the useless wand, horsefly, the grieving fish lady and the naked Russian >:]
Umbridge: *glances at the sorry state of her minions* Ugh, fine. You're free to go. But the chapters will be reduced to eight. Take it or leave it.
CJ: *taking Ptreasure down from the wall* Fine by me. You drive a hard bargain, Umbridge. *returns her minions to normal; Chrysalis goes back to being a changeling, Umbridge's wand is no longer edible, Russia has his clothes back and the Condesce's trident is back. CJ leaves and Cambot switches out of the villains' view.*

Twilight, Harry and Italy: *stunned silence as CJ suddenly appears unnoticed behind them*
CJ: Hey there!
Twilight, Harry and Italy: AH!
Twilight: Don't do that!
CJ: Sorry, hehe! Did you enjoy my rescue of you guys?
Twilight: Yes. But we have a riff to continue, so if you'd please?
CJ: Right! *heads off to continue the riff*

CHAPTER 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!

Twilight: Wow. You can't even spell the protagonist's name right.
Harry: They've reached a brand new low with this one.
Italy: Let's all stop and appreciate it.
Twilight: Or let's not.

DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

Harry: This is what we call a handwave.
Twilight: A handwave is when an author comes up with the laziest possible excuse for something improbable happening. It can be done well, but this is not an example.
Rainbow Dash: *flies by* THE MORE YOU KNOW.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twilight:...I...don't get it! This...why is this even necessary?

“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

Twilight: Once again, what is with all the expletives!?
Harry: This was probably written by a 15-year-old girl who thinks she's being edgy.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

Twilight:...What?
Harry:...What?
Italy:...:)

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

Twilight:...Is...is this supposed to be a sex scene?
Harry: I...I think so...
Twilight: I don't know whether or not we should censor this. It sounds like it was written by someone who has a first grade understanding of sex.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

Twilight: Yes, because that's totally something Dumbledore would say. Well, this is all we'll be doing of "My Immortal" for today. Fortunately, we only have to continue til chapter 8. Until next time, goodbye!
Harry: See ya!
Italy: Arrivederci!

To be continued...