My Little HetaStuck MSTs
Episode 5
Sonic Fights Robotnik

*The Badfic Theater. Everyone is sitting in their seats*

Twilight Sparkle: Hello everypony! It's me, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship! Welcome to My Little HetaStuck, a show we only pretend to enjoy doing because we get paid for it! Joining me, as always are John Egbert...
John Egbert: hey!
Twilight: Italy...
Italy: Hello!
Twilight: And Harry Potter!
Harry: Good day to you!

Twilight: Today, we will be riffing on a bad Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction. And so, our guest is going to be Sonic the Hedgehog himself!
*Sonic zooms in*
Sonic: Gotta go fast! *stops and jumps into a seat next to Twilight* What's up?
Twilight: Not much!
Sonic: Hey Harry! *high fives Harry* Been a while!
Italy: You two know each other?
Harry: Our fandoms were both big hits with whiny entitled teenagers.
Sonic: So how're the wife and kids?
Harry: They're good.
*Rainbow Dash flies in*
Rainbow Dash: Hey Twilight, can I borrow your--*sees Sonic* I-is that...who I think it is?
Sonic: 'Sup.
RD: Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! It's Sonic the Hedgehog! Aww man! Sonic you are a legend! The fastest thing alive! The Blue Blur! The guy who beats up Dr. Eggman on a daily basis!
Sonic: *leans back and smirks* You're too kind.
RD: Can I have your autograph? *holds out autograph book* Right there, between Daring Do and Spitfire?
Italy: That's what he said!
*Sonic signs Rainbow Dash's autograph book*
Twilight: Hey Rainbow Dash, since you're such a big fan of Sonic's work, why don't you sit and riff with us?
RD: Sounds good to me! *sits next to Sonic* So what's today's bad fanfiction?
Twilight: It's called "Sonic Fights Robotnik" by SonicFan2010.
Sonic: Ha! Robotnik? Ol' Egghead hasn't used that name for fifteen years!
Twilight: Well then, let's dive right in, shall we? We start with an Author's Note (TM).

ATTENTION: This is a good story so no bad coments
please!

Twilight: We'll see about that...

Author's notes..
Lord of PEZ is awsome!

John: who?
Italy: Canada?

Vote NO on Ken Penders!

Sonic: Well, he was really self absorbed so I can see why we don't like him...
RD: But he also gave us Prince Elias, Julie Su and Archimedes so you've got your good points too.

End of Author's notes. Now onto the stroy!

Twilight: Ugh! I can only assume that the grammar is gonna get worse from here!

Sonics best adventure yet!

Sonic: I doubt that.

It was a brite midday morning in KnotHole Forrest. The
animals were
doing things like they usually do. Rotor was cleaning up
the sprokets
Bunny was repainting the huts and Tails wasx fighting
stuffed bots with
kung-fu.

Sonic: When did Tails learn Kung Fu?
Twilight: Is this really how things work in Knothole Village?
Sonic: You know, I can't really remember...I haven't been there for a long time.

Sonic was in his hut drinking a Mountian Due and
watching TV. Furry Beavis
and Butthead was on. "It's like beavis and butthead but
beavis is a rat and
butthead is a dog" Sonic says to the reader.

John: oh, so it's just "beavis and butthead".

Antoinee was in his house jamming to Greenday. Just out
of nowhere rotor jumps
into the room!

Sonic: Oh God, Antoine. I hated that guy! He was so obnoxious!
RD: Why is he listening to Green Day? And where did Rotor come from?
Twilight: This fanfic looks like one of those stories where things just happen.

Sonic looked around his hut. "Sonic!@" saidrotor. "Look
out a SWAT-missel is
going to hit you!"

John: well, that escalated quickly.

Sonic said "WHA?" and loooked out the window. A swat
missel was going to hit
him! He jumped out of the hut and ran around the missel.
Soon it smashed
into a tree and blew into a million peices.

Sonic: Wow, that was too easy. Is it a trap? Maybe? Hopefully? Please?

"Woah close one dude but I made it ok" he said (sonic)
ROtor said "Bye" and left.

Sonic: No? Darn.

Meanwhile in Robotroptolis

Grr
said Robotnik.
"I hate it when missel misses!" he said, also
"THis is your fault!" he said to Snively.

Sonic: Wait...what? Eggman didn't know where Knothole Village was back when I was a Freedom Fighter! That was a big plot point on the show! How did he know where to shoot the missile?
Twilight: Why did he blame this "Snively" fellow?
Sonic: Oh, he blamed Snively for just about everything! Haha!

"no no sir!" he replied!
"Packbell"
"Yes sir?"
"Kill sonic because snively is too dumb to be able too!"
"Yes sir"
"What a fat" said snively, under his voice.

RD: Who's Packbell? I've watched every episode of that show and they never mentioned anyone named "Packbell"!
Sonic: Meh. He's probably an OC.
John: at least he's not a fantroll.
Twilight: "What a fat"? What kind of insult is that?

3 or four days later back at knothole
Sonic is chatting with Sally on IRC

Sonic: Ah Princess Sally. That takes me back.
RD: Have you talked to her at all recently?
Sonic: Nah. I haven't seen her since Pendersgate.

(Sonic) I luv u sal ;)
(Sally) Awww ;)
(Sonic) lets have sex :)

Sonic: O_O
RD: O_O
John: O_O
Twilight: O_O
Harry: O_O
Italy: (=ヮ=)೨

(Sally) no ;p
(Sanoic) you are buetiful
(Sally) ok we ave cybersex

Twilight: Please don't.
Sonic: When did this Sanoic guy come in? Does Princess Sal know she's cybering with a different guy?

JUST THEN ROTOR BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR IN EMERGENCY!

Italy: Well that must've ruined the mood.

(AN: This next part is italicized because this point turns the fic into a script. I want to differentiate between this and the actual MST)

Rotor: Sonic look out we are under attack by 1000000
SWAT BOTS!

Sonic: Wait, HOW many Swatbots!?

Sonic: Ok i got it covered
Sonic runs to the bots "Yo dudes whats up?"
Swat bots: DRRRROOOONE, WE KILL HEDGEHOG #1 PRIRORITY
Sonic said "You drone alot bots"
Just then Sonic spinned around and around killing half
the bots.

Twilight: No. It is NOT "spinned", it's "spun"! Ugh! I'm sick of the grammar mistakes! If I see one more grammar mistake, I'm gonna go insane!
*Elsewhere, the cloaked villains are seated around a crystal ball with the riffers image inside it. Pink cloaked villain starts cheering with delight*
Pink Cloak: Yes, good! Let the madness overtake you! Do it! Do it now! Go insane! Lose your mind! Do it! Do it! DO IT!
*Back at the Badfic Theater*
Twilight: Why do I feel like I'm being talked about by a big ugly witch?

The other half tried to shoot him but sonic pulled out a
power ring and
turned into super sonic easily killing the rest with no
effort.
"well" said sonic "looks like 0 to me hmmmm your
counting is bad Rote"

Sonic: Well at least they have my sass down!
RD: True that!
*Sonic and RD fist/hoof bump*

Sonic goes back to watching TV
Robotik appears on the TV!

Sonic: Wha!? Why does Eggman show up on screen?

"Hello my name is Dr. Robotnik I have taken over the TV
station no one can
stop me ha ha ha ha."

Twilight: Is your arch enemy always this much of a ham?
Sonic: You don't know the half of it.

"No way Fatnick! Let's get ready to rock!" said sonic
Sonic was talking to Sally "We gotta stop Robotnuk!"

Sonic: My nickname for Eggman was "Robuttnik", not "Fatnick".
RD: It rolls off the tongue better too!

Tails says "Can I go too Sally?"
Sally said "No you are too little robotnik and his bots
would kill you or
robotosize you"
-----WARNING if you are offended you should not read
this neck part----------
"FOCK YOU SALLY!!!!!!!!!!!" SCREMED tails
--------Ok kids you can look now :)----------

Twilight: How old does the author think his readers are?
John: i'm sixteen and i've said dirtier language than that!
Italy: He didn't even spell it right!

Sally kicked Tails "BAd Tails don't say
that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tails said "I am mad now I hate you!"

Twilight: I've never seen the show, but I have met Tails before...I don't recall him being so rude.

Sonic said "oh no but we have to stop Robotnick's TV
plan! Let's go!!!!!!"

Sonic: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm not seeing any "evil" in this plan. Is that wrong?
Twilight: Nope.
Harry: I've faced worse villains. Try facing someone like Bellatrix Lestrange sometime.

Sonic was at the Tv station fighting bots that were
jumping off the antenna.
Tank-bot attacked towards sonic. Sonic jumped flipped
and spun in the air but
tank bot was too fast. Just then sonic ran up the wall
and tank bot hit the
wall. SOnic laughted at the funniness of this.

Twilight: Why even bother with saying "Show Don't Tell" anymore?

Then he
went into the tv station
Robotnick was there doing the robotnik show
"Dooo doo doo this is tnhe robotnick show we will be
pack arfter the messages
doo doo doo BUY KEN PENDERS now back to the show doo do
doo its the robotnick
show our guest today is
"SONIC????????????????????????????????????????"
"Yes" said Sonic
Sonic fought snively first. Armed with a laser gun
snively shot at sonic but
sonic beat him good. Next was packbell. He shot rockets
at sonic but sonic
jumped out of the way and kicked him down anyways. THen
Robotnick hit the
button.

RD: Once again, who the hay is Packbell?

The lasers were aimed at the blue blur. They
would kill him and his
friends! What will happen next!
Stay tuned for PART 2!
Just kidding but sirousley tit's time fro a commerical
brake.
Wheel be right back (I hope)

Twilight: A commercial. A flapping commercial? They're inserting a commercial into this already crappy fanfic!?
RD: Woah, Twi, calm down!
Twilight: Don't tell me to be calm, Rainbow Dash! I've been sitting through these awful fanfics for several months now! The only reason I've been keeping sane is because I'm getting paid for it! And I'm honestly not sure how worth it it is anymore! I'm slowly reaching the end of my rope and I can't stand it anymore!
Italy: *stuffs some pasta in Twilight's mouth* Better?
Twilight: *chews and then swallows the pasta* A little bit. Not much, but a little.

COmmercial
Ken: Hello this is ken penders i hate sonic because i
draw his comics. I really
suck why dont i just kill sally BANG she died now i'll
do a crossover of sonic
and mR rogers ha ha ha ha ha i am evil.

Sonic: Okay, dude, what did Ken Penders ever do to you? I mean, he definitely had unrealistic expectations, but he wasn't pure evil! I worked with the guy! He helped the comic pretty well!

No back to the show,

RD: I wish...

Sonic escaped a stickey situaton but there was more in
store for our hero.
RObotnick produced a bomb from his sleave. "Ha ha ha"
said he.

Twilight: *eye twitch*

Sonic kicked robotnick knocking him out the window. The
lardish doctor fell
5000 story's to his death. But as Tails later noted he
was not really dead.

Everyone: WHAT!?

Sonic ran out of the building just in time. The bombs
fuse ended and....
SNAP CRACKLE POP! THE BOMB EXPLODES!!!!
There goes our tv shows
said sonc

Everyone: WHAT!?

Sonic and friends had to blow up the robotik crystal
mine.

John: crystal mine?
Sonic: They probably mean Chaos Emeralds.

"Y'all." said Bunny
"these is soem weird crystals some of em are blue and
some of em are red
and some of em are green and some of em are purple and
some of em are yellow.
Some are squaree, otrhers are triangle.
Heck all y'all some of em arent even crystals at all!"

Italy: If "soem" of them aren't crystals, then what are they?

Just then they all gasped in horror. The biggest bot in
the world suddenly
appeared with its guns aimed at the freedom fighters.

John: wait, the biggest bot in the world? that might be a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?

"Nooooo!"
Antoinee quipped "Ze bot es BEEEEG!"
SOnic and Sally attacked the bot. The bot blew up taking
the mine with it.

Italy: Oh, I sense a disturbance in the force...thousands of French people, crying out because they've just been horribly offended...then shutting up because they realized that they don't give a crap how a bad fanfiction depicts them.

Robotnik was watching this on camera.
"That hedgehog is a walking contradiction" he said.
Snively said nothing, neither did packbell andthen
They all sing "Walking Contradiction" by Greenday

Sonic: So I'm getting this sense that the author's a Green Day fanboy...but it's just so subtly written that I can't tell...

[[[[[[[[[[5 years later]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

John: five years? but why?

It was the last battle with robotnick. All of mobiuses
freedom fighters had
gathered at Kothole to discuss the plan.
"Here is the plan" said Princess Sally "We sneek into
Robotropolis and sonic
you fight the bots while we blow up the death egg"

Sonic: That kinda sounds like me.

Sonic walked thrugh the woods with sally.
"Umm sall what about that cybersex"
[[[[[disco music]]]]]]
bow-bow-chicka-bow-wowp-chika-chika-bow-bow
Tails: Funky! (dances) disco fever! (sees sonic and
sally) OoOopS!!! sorry

Everyone: WHAT!?!?

The troupe arrived at robotopobis. They stormed the
death egg.

RD: Oh boy! Maybe there will be some action!

It was and exciting battle but the freedom fighters won
in the end.

RD: Why did I not see that coming...

Back at Knothole celebration was in order. They
discussed how to fix the
TV station and antoinne danced and Chis Petrucii sang
the song of the Death
Egg battle

Harry: Who is Chis Petrucii?
Twilight: I don't care at this point.

Sonic was on a mission dark
to defeat the evil doctor
but he beat him
like he did
and no one was asunder
thunderrr...
SONIC! SUPER SONIC!
he is the hero of our day
SONIC! SUPER SONIC!
let's all say hooray
lats all say hooray

Everyone: ???

Bookshire wept at the heartstrung plucking of the
guitar.

RD: Who?

Tails made up with sally and gave her a hug. Everything
was A-OK.

RD: It took Tails five years to make up with Sally? Talk about holding a grudge!

Just then 50 million missels, a million swat bots and
the entre robo brigade
were attacking Knothole.

Sonic: Wait, what!?

RObotnick showed up, holding
the off button. Only
he had the power to stop the attack. Sonic put on his
cybersuit. Robotnik walked
into rotors invention hut sonic followed behind him.

Sonic: I don't remember having a cyber suit. That would be super awesome, though!

They were both in the
hut sonic attacked with fists of fury! POW! BANG!
SHABOOM! BOOM! KABLAMO!

RD: Maybe now there will be some action!

"I hope you had the time of your liiiiiiiiife" sang
Greenday.
THE END

RD: Spoke too soon.
Sonic: Well, at least it's over, right riffers?
*no response from the riffers*
Sonic: Riffers?
Twilight:...WHAT!? THAT'S HOW THEY'RE GOING TO END THIS STUPIDITY!? THIS IS THE MOST AWFUL THING I HAVE READ IN SO LONG AND IT'S ONLY THE FIFTH EPISODE!!!!
John: THIS WAS HORRIBLE! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT WOULD POLLUTE THE INTERNET!
Harry: I agree! But at least the author didn't make more!
Italy: *looking dead eyed* Uhhh...guys...?
*everyone looks at SonicFan2010's website*
Riffers:....
RD: Twilight...?
Sonic: Harry, calm yourself...
Twilight:RAAAAAARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *blasts the theater's screen with her magic* EIGHT SEQUELS AND A REMAKE!!!!!!!! EIGHT ****ING SEQUELS AND A REMAKE!!!!!!!! *screams with fury then breaks down in sobs*
John: RAAAARGHH!!!! I AM SO ****ING MAD!!!!!!!! *starts blowing the curtains with the Windy Thing* FIRST PORN OF MYSELF, THEN PONY MUTILATION, THEN RELIGIOUS PROPEGANDA, THEN TEENAGE WHINING AND NOW THIS!? RAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Italy: *sits there in silence for a moment, and then...* Heh...hehe...hehehehehe...HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...AH HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Harry: *just sits there*
Sonic: Oh dear...
RD: I don't like the looks of this...
Harry: You guys should probably leave.
*Sonic and Rainbow Dash bolt out of the room as everyone except Harry works through their complete and utter meltdown*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*The lair of the cloaked villains*

Pink Cloak: *with a devious grin* It is time...

To be continued...