//The roof of Jebed's house in Forlegsandria, turned bright orange and gold by the setting sun. Flat sheets of wood lie broken all around me.
Spike: I'm sorry, Twilight, I'm not getting this new technique. I think it's a dud.
T: Take a minute, then, and calm yourself down.
Spike: No, I want to keep trying. I can get it. I know it.
T: Remember when I said you had to learn how to keep your composure?
Spike: I'm trying, I'm trying!
T: It's not because I'm trying to get you to be more pleasant -- comments aside -- but because the punch relies on having a clear head. You have to be mentally untroubled for the technique to work.
Spike: Great, so I'm never going to get it.
T: Don't say that, Spike. After all, you've already done it once before.
Spike: I have?
T: The sorceress? You were wondering what that punch was that defeated her; this technique is that punch given a name and consistency.
Spike: Celestia's wings, I'd love to do that type of damage with every punch...
T: Steady yourself again, on the ground and in your head. Spread your legs a little more, and move your torso back. Hold the pose, and... punch!
//The wood splinters into hundreds of little pieces, scattering off into the wind and onto the rooftop!
[Fist of Justice] was mastered!
//The first thing that's gone right this week...
Spike: Fist of Justice, I can shorten that. Taste my Justfist!
T: I've created a monster.
//Twilight picks small bits of wood out of her mane.
Spike: Drink deep from the cup of my Justfists, fiend! Hyaa!
T: Poetic recounts of the tale of the Sixteenth Disciple of Discord, Josh, say he destroyed an entire castle from the base with this one punch, killing everyone inside.
Spike: Justice... yay...
PWE: Spike! Spike!
//Palla-Walla comes trotting up the stairs, hauling a great sack of bits on her back.
PWE: It came, it came, it came!
Spike: Hey, the reward! Oh, there are smaller bags inside, that's a relief.
T: Cough, cough.
Spike: Palla-Walla, can you do me a favor? Take one of the smaller bags, go to a bookstore, pick up a dictionary, and, what else, uh... I'll give you a list.
T: Made one already.
//Palla-Walla Ellis grabs the list and holds it against her forehead, like a salute.
PWE: On it, Sir Spike!
//Sir?
//Palla-Walla dashes off.
Spike: So, at least something good came out of my stay here.
T: Give yourself some more credit, Spike. You saved two people's flanks, remember? And Mayor Ellis _is_ drafting a bill to enforce non-discriminatory hiring practices, no matter what his spokesponies say.
Spike: And where has that got me? Right back where I was in the first place! Forty percent of all dragons in Equestria, and not even one of them has heard of me!
//Twilight looks up, eye on the sky.
T: Cirrus, darn it. There's a storm coming.
Spike: Huh?
//She shakes her head, dismissing that thought. Little bits of wood fall out of her hair.
T: Spike... if there were someone, who knew you very well before any of this happened... would you be interested in that person?
//Why is she being obtuse?
Spike: Uh, I know we were friends, Twilight. But I have to find more than one person who knew me. Part of being objective is getting information from multiple sources, so it's not like I don't trust you or anything. I just have to find someone else, because... I don't want to ask you about the old me, because whatever small part of me you knew would become all of who I am now.
//If that makes sense.
//Twilight bites down on her lip, hard, trying not to say something. 'Swings, I should probably continue before she starts to bleed...
Spike: Besides, you're an important pony! I would never dream to waste your time! Even this week, there must be plenty of friends who are worried about not hearing back from you in so long.
T: Uh...
Spike: Students who haven't had a lesson in a while?
T: Well...
Spike: Romantic partner wondering where you've gone?
T: Y'see, that...
Spike: Important work you've left untouched for your job?
T: ...Spike, it's really no problem! I've had fun coming here to Forlegsandria and --
Spike: Watching me get the snot kicked out of me?
T: -- basically, yeah, but I've also managed to scrounge up some new macroeconomics textbooks, and I'm helping the mayor plan the bill and its following incentives to make sure it sticks. Even if he'll lose the upcoming election.
Spike: Won't whoever is mayor next just repeal the law anyway?
T: ...Don't worry about me, Spike, I'm keeping busy. We'll be on the road soon enough, I'm sure.
//Twilight puts up her hood as Jebed approaches from the sky. She lands on the splintered wood, folding her wings and nodding.
JBD: Hello, Spike. Hello, road scholar who for her own reasons has yet to tell me her name.
T: I'll get back to you on that.
JBD: Mmm. What is all this broken wood for, Spike, are practicing your technique?
Spike: Nope, mastered it. Hyaa!
JBD: Looks dangerous. Mind if we talk inside?

//Jebed, Yiha and I sit around a basic table with a few shelves of spices and crude utensils hanging by the window; this is the kitchen. After Yiha and I finish eating she goes to rest on her eggs; the meat necessary to sustain Jebed wouldn't fit through the doorway and barely does she. Twilight Sparkle is in the living room, reading a book.
JBD: Why are phoenix never lonely?
Spike: Uh... if you said 'always', the answer would be 'because they can never spend the rest of their life with someone'...
JBD: Because they're never without a date!
//From the other room, Twilight laughs.
Spike: ...I don't get it.
JBD: Botany joke. The palms that give the date fruit are of the genus Phoenix.
Spike: Oh, that's clever. The most terrifying beast in the world is one that no one has ever seen, or ever heard, has no odor, and as soon as it touches you, you die. It can jump over thousands of miles in an instant, get through any locked door or barricade, and can destroy entire empires with just one strike. So great is its terror that some people get very rich telling others that they know someone who will not defeat the beast, but can make you survive the beast's attack. What is its name?
JBD: I'm thinking of an intangible, maybe 'War'...
Spike: Is that your guess?
JBD: No. Death?
Spike: Ah, yep. I'm out of riddles.
JBD: Three riddles? That's all? I understand Hero and 'dragon sitting atop a mound of priceless treasure asking riddles of an entering Hero' are likely mutually exclusive roles, but three is not many riddles for even a Hero to know. Two good ones, maybe; the riddle of the sphinx hardly counts as a riddle anymore and I doubt any keeper will be asking it.
Spike: Should I tell Palla-Walla to get a book of riddles as well?
JBD: Couldn't hurt.
Spike: How did you get so good with riddles, Jebed? You don't seem the type to lie around reading books.
//Jebed shrugs, and her eyes wander.
JBD: I've sat atop a few treasures in my day.
//Twilight stifles a laugh. Jebed calls to her:
JBD: Oh, ha ha ha, no, you silly mare. Well, _yes_, but no. That's not what I meant.
Spike: What?
T: Don't worry about it.
//I have no idea what happened here.
JBD: I hope you've enjoyed your stay here so far, Spike. At the very least I hope it wasn't dreadfully boring.
Spike: No! It wasn't at all, I... I'm just a little disappointed we couldn't find anyone who knows me. That's all.
JBD: (Spike, you already know someone who knows you.)
Spike: (Oh, Twi? Sure, she knows me, but I don't know her.)
//Jebed gives me one eye, oddly.
JBD: (I don't follow.)
Spike: (I hit my head and lost my memory. I'm trying to find someone who met me before that.)
JBD: (Lost your...?)
//Jebed waves her neck back and forth as she ponders. She glances once at the stairs that lead to Yiha's nursery room.
JBD: (I had imagined a... different situation than that for you, young drakeling. But you did arrive here with this mare -- Twi, was it? Maybe she knew you?)
Spike: (She says so. But what kind of idiot would I be to trust the first person I meet after waking up?)
//She smiles, still keeping her teeth in. It's a very patronizing (matronizing?) effect.
JBD: (You are cleverer than you first present, little Hero.)
//Thanks, really.
JBD: (But are you truly sure it was a blow to the head that happened to you? It seems exceedingly rare that blunt force trauma, nevermind the world's most precise surgical tools, could leave you with everything but memory. As far as I can tell, besides the odd desire to be a Hero, you are a functioning dragon.)
//It's not that odd...
Spike: (Yeah, that's what happened. Celestia told me.)
//A quick pause.
JBD: (I'm sorry, come again?)
Spike: (Celestia appeared to me in a vision, said I lost my memory, and then told me to be a Hero.)
//NO SHE TOLD YOU TO KILL SHIT, YOU TACKED THAT ON.
//I force the hot buzzing down in my head.
//THAT'S NOT ME, THAT'S THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
//Jebed pauses for a long while, looking at me from the corner of her eye.
JBD: (...Seeing a vision of Celestia does sound more like a blow to the head.)
//Well, if there aren't any dragons in this area who could know me, where else do dragons live?
Spike: (Uh, Jebed? Can I ask you a question?)
//Jebed moves her head in, raising an eyebrow.
JBD: (Go ahead.)
Spike: (You know that huge silver dragon who was in the district the other day, Quine?)
JBD: (Hm, yes, I know him.)
Spike: (Do you think he accepts apprentices?)
//Jebed leans back, tapping a claw against her chin. I look over to the living room; Twilight is still quietly reading.
JBD: (Well, I've never heard of it, and I don't remember Quine mentioning such an idea when I've spoken with him, considering that he is a rather busy dragon.)
Spike: (That's why I was asking. He was saying something earlier about fighting against the Avatar of Strength, and a dragon who can fight toe to toe with an Avatar is a dragon I want to know.)
//If I'm going to challenge Princess Hazel to get my memories back, I need someone who can get me to that level...
JBD: (...But I don't see why he wouldn't, if a person showed promise and willingness to learn. The Aquinatic Mountains are a dangerous place for a dragon to be, though, so visiting him would be no easy task.)
Spike: I think I can find it on my map, here...
JBD: (Those you'll find there are true dragon's dragons. They're traditionalists and fierce, through and through.)
//I'm more than a little glad the Aquinatic Mountains are far away.
JBD: And he would likely set forth some sort of task to prove your... ah, that's perfect, and it's on the way.
Spike: Do you already know what he's going to say to me? Are you two, uh, that close?
JBD: ...No, if you're asking what I think; Quine was a full dragon when I was a hatchling, he was a full dragon when my grandmother was a hatchling, and from what I understand he was a full dragon when my twelfth ancestor was a hatchling. But he is an old fashioned dragon, and there is only one thing an old fashioned dragon likes more than obtaining a new item for his hoard.
Spike: (I'm guessing 'training an aspiring whelp' isn't it.)
JBD: Recovering an item stolen from him. If you look on your map, two thirds of the way to the Aquinatics from here, a valley should be marked.
Spike: 'The Valley of Death'. Ironic nickname for a spa center and resort, I'm hoping?
JBD: A necklace was stolen from Quine as he was visiting the graveyards and mausoleums there.
//Are we talking a Quine-sized necklace, or a me-sized necklace?
JBD: It is a simple grey ankh on a string, like this one on my wrist without the jade. Return it to him, and that should be a more than satisfactory test of your abilities.
Spike: Okay. What does the ankh represent? Is it magical?
//Jebed glances at the ankh for a moment, as if trying to remember.
JBD: Not magic, no. As for what it represents, Quine can tell you more about it than I can.
Spike: Cool, I get to join the 'powerful dragon club', when's membership due?
JBD: 'Powerful dragon club'? Sure, membership dues are an early grave and a chapter in the biography of Princess Hazel.
//What?
Spike: The Princess has killed dragons?
JBD: Dozens. You don't know? That is how she gained her power after the disappearance of Princess Celestia, by hunting dragons who had a sizable territory and collected enough tribute from ponies to be notable. Then she did the same thing, except territory was 'protectorate of Equestria' and tribute was 'taxes'. She personally put over a hundred dragons underground, a few thousands out of a home or land, and got famous doing it. (Of course, that's not to say some of them didn't deserve it, but still...)
//I clench my fists.
Spike: Hazel...
JBD: Now, some people say revenge is unhealthy, inefficient, and breeds a cycle of hate that never stops. Me? I believe criminals need to be brought to justice to prevent crime from spreading. It might just be a difference of opinion.

//On the road. A small bag of bits bounces against my leg, as does a larger satchel of books. The atlas is in my hands.
T: So, any idea?
Spike: Half of these roads don't exist anymore! What kind of atlas is this?
T: 'Martholemew's Historical Atlas, Thirde Centurie', apparently.
Spike: Dangit, Palla-Walla!
//I left the greater sack of bits with Palla-Walla, mostly because Jebed refused it. Told her to buy a statue for the fountain with the reward instead of waiting on city officials; said a statue of a dragon and a pony dancing would be best. Palla-Walla's a good kid, but I hope she doesn't screw that up too.
\\And I didn't even get my book of riddles!
T: We're a few days out from anywhere.
Spike: It's getting greener, we must be coming up on a river.
T: Which one?
Spike: Uh, depends on how many we passed. Do you remember?
//The scenery around here is plains, plains, plains, and plains. Imagine someone who hasn't had water in two days creaking the word 'shrubbery' and you have a pretty good sense of the place. It's not a desert of any sort, but you start to miss the color green after a while.
T: We're lost. Wait, don't dragons have magnetoception? Like birds, you can tell where the planet's magnetic field is pointing?
Spike: That's at full dragon stage, and only when the moon is waxing. You'd know that if you read the anatomy textbook.
T: Uh, what anatomy textbook is that, again?
Spike: 'The Truth About Dragons', by Terry Fick.
T: Well-known humor writer. Is there one book in that entire bag that isn't useless?
Spike: I don't know, 'The Real Princess Hazel' is kind of interesting.
T: Ugh, not that crap. There is some truth in there, but it's nearly impossible to pick out between the propaganda, vile distaste of ponykind, and outright slander.
Spike: The bias is rather noticeable. But I don't think it's all that bad.
T: At some point, she has sex with a cat.
Spike: I have not yet read to that point, so thank you, now I don't have to.
T: Let's see what else there is.
//Twilight levitates a book out of the satchel, and frowns at it for a moment.
T: Wow, I can't believe it. They were selling this?
Spike: Let me guess: more crap?
T: No, actually. It's a PhD thesis on the movement of dragon populations during and after the disappearance event, extremely well thought out and researched. So well, in fact, that it was declared 'expository of military information' and recalled a week before it was about to hit shelves.
Spike: That sounds... very useful, actually.
T: You're lucky to have it. You know that big bag of money the mayor gave you as a reward? This is worth at least three of those, and that's just what the government would give you to take it off the market. Dragon hunters would give you at least twice that.
Spike: _Dragon hunters_?
T: Yeah, illegal. Do you still have the telescope on you?
//I take out the telescope and inspect it.
Spike: A little damage from the water, but yeah. Why?
T: I think the river is coming up.
//I put the telescope to my eye.
Spike: Celestia's wings! Someone is getting attacked by three odd, blurry monsters on the other side of the river!
//As she disappears, Twilight says:
T: Rotate the telescope, Spike.
Spike: Celestia's wings! A few blurs are getting attacked by three ponies on the other side of the river!

//I dash towards the scene of the assault, but a pony with a knife in her mouth and a green bandana leaps up from under the bridge!
Spike: What do you want?! Get out of the way!
Knifeholder: Gotta pay th' toll t' pass, scalescum.
//Scalescum?!
Spike: Toll? For what?!
KN: Th' bridge.
Spike: This isn't a toll bridge.
KN: It's m'bridge. I own it.
Spike: This bridge was built six hundred years ago for a settlement that wasted away four years after the bridge was built; no one owns this crap now.
KN: M' Kebb-Nock ancestors built it. I own it. Pay th' toll.
Spike: I'll tell you what you can do with your stupid ancestors...
//As I curse out the pony I reach into my coinbag, pulling out a handful of bits. I throw it at the crook, uncaring.
Spike: Fine! Take this; I have to go!
KN: Toll's more.
Spike: How much?!
KN: How much y'got?
Spike: I don't have time for this!
KN: You a drakelin'?
Spike: Ugh, great, this again.
KN: Toll's more f'you.
Spike: Oh, do go on, I wonder what it could be.
KN: Toll's love. Twice or mebbe three times, depen' how I feel.
Spike: I'm glad you called it 'love' and not 'violation', that really changes my opinion on the whole 'mating against my will' deal. What do you do to people who don't pay the toll?
KN: Stab 'em.
Spike: Well, you're welcome to try.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//The pony attacks!

The Pony charges at The Drakeling!
The Pony slashes at The Drakeling in the upper right arm with her -iron knife-, but he jumps away!
The Pony rushes by The Drakeling!

The Drakeling strikes at The Pony in the lower body with his Dashing Rogue Punch, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
The Pony looks sick!

The Pony slashes at The Drakeling in the upper body with her -iron knife-, tearing apart the muscle through the scale!

//Kyaah! That hurt! I can't last long against that kind of weaponry, so let's end this quickly!

The Drakeling breathes fire! The Pony dodges away from the flames!

//Uh oh.

The Pony kicks The Drakeling in the left lower leg, bruising the muscle and bruising the scale!
The Drakeling breathes fire! The Pony dodges away from the flames!

//This mare is solidly built, and quick on her feet. It's a tough fight, but stay calm... staying calm is the way...

The Pony charges at The Drakeling!
The Pony kicks at The Drakeling in the right upper leg, bruising the scale!
The two tangle together and fall over!
The Pony comes out on top!

The Drakeling grabs The Pony by the neck with his left hand!
The Pony grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her right front hoof!
The Drakeling is pinned!

//Calm, maintain composure... the right timing is necessary to destroy evil and bring virtue.

KN: The toll'll be taken.

The Pony lowers her lower body onto The Drakeling's lower body, pinning it!

//Strike.

The Drakeling strikes at The Pony in the mouth with his Fist of Justice, shattering the upper front teeth and jamming the -iron knife- down the throat!
The Pony swallows the -iron knife-!

Spike: Justice tastes like iron; who knew?

The Pony looks sick!
The Pony is having trouble breathing!

KN: Ahhck... Heeeehhck, ck, heeee...
Spike: Uh, if I could ask you a favor, could you, say, get off me while you're slowly dying?

The Pony coughs up blood on The Drakeling's face!

Spike: Guess it was too much to ask.

The -iron knife- stabs The Pony from the inside, tearing the muscle and tearing apart the right lung!
The Pony is having more trouble breathing!

Spike: Uh, hey, bad idea, bad idea! No!

The Pony collapses! The Pony's upper body pins The Drakeling by the upper body!
The Drakeling grabs The Pony by the right front leg with his right hand!
The Drakeling tries to stand up but The Pony is in the way!

Spike: Get! Off of me! Please!

The Pony vomits up blood on The Drakeling's face!
//In my mouth!! Oh Celestia, why?!
The -iron knife- stabs The Pony from the inside, tearing apart the stomach and tearing apart the right kidney!
The Pony gives into pain! The Pony faints!
//Pinned... by the body...

The Pony has been defeated!
Spike earned 300 experience points!
Spike is now level 7!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//In the middle of the road just before the bridge across a river from where innocent people are being attacked, my face is covered in the blood of the pony whose corpse is currently pinning me to the ground and making it hard to breathe.
T: Well, this is certainly something to come back to.
Spike: Crushing... everything...
//I dance my body about underneath the pony, even my legs, but can't manage to get the body off of me. Did I underestimate how much pony a pony was, overestimate how much dragon I was, or did I ever know either?
T: If you wanted _that_, there were plenty of opportunities before now to get it.
Spike: Less sarcasm... more help?
T: But it looks like you're having so much fun!
Spike: Twilight.
//Twilight puts a hoof on the corpse and shoves it off me with ease.
T: Celestia's wings, are you sure you really won that fight?
Spike: A pony vomited blood in my mouth. I'm not sure of anything right now.
//I lean over the side of the road and try to spit the blood out of my mouth. Then, I seal the large gash on my torso with dragonfire.
T: Didn't Jebed mention that was unsanitary?
Spike: So's bleeding to death. I've got to go!
//I scramble over the bridge, running to where the fight across the river is happening.

//A drakeling is cowering behind the broken body of a sizable full dragon, as two ponies and a unicorn all with green bandanas advance, leaving two other ponies in armor bleeding on the ground behind them. One of the ponies has a knife in his mouth.
Spike: What's going on here? Tell me!
Cowering Drakeling: Help! They attacked us from nowhere and killed Mr. Mortani!
Spike: Is this true?
Strange Unicorn: Of course not! We're tax collectors.
Spike: You look nothing like tax collectors.
SU: Tithes of 100% income are to be paid to Alipheese the Magnificent under penalty of death, standing order of Saccr-Ulkip effective to any passerby in the region.
Spike: Actual tax collectors don't kill people or impose 100% payments. You're just bandits!
SU: Word definitions belong to Alipheese the Magnificent just as all goods belong to Alipheese the Magnificent. For She is Great and will bring about End Times.
//A cult. Exactly what I needed today.
Spike: Ugh, you're probably going to have to help me with the three of them.
CD: I don't know if I can help you all that much.
Spike: Can you breathe fire?
CD: No.
Spike: What do you mean, 'no'?!
CD: I'm carrying a clutch; I can't breathe fire.
Spike: Can you fight?
CD: I'm a nurse, this isn't my element!
Spike: So no help at all?
CD: What do you expect from me?!
Spike: At some point during the battle, I don't know, throw rocks or something? Anything?
SU: Throw rocks... that sounds like a good idea.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Saccr-Ulkip speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! A massive chunk of stone rises from the ground, forming a boulder!

Saccr-Ulkip throws a boulder at The Drakeling (Spike)! The Drakeling (Spike) leaps away from the flying boulder! The Drakeling (???) leaps away from the flying boulder! The spinning boulder strikes the body of Mr. Mortani in the upper body, bruising the muscle, jamming the left true ribs through the heart and tearing apart the heart!

//HERE'S A TIP: AVOID THAT.

The Drakeling (Spike) charges at The Pony (1)!
The Drakeling (Spike) punches The Pony (1) in the right front leg with his left hand, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
The Drakeling (Spike) collides with The Pony (1)! The Drakeling (Spike) bounces backwards!

//If I stay near her allies, that unicorn can't keep throwing boulders at me.

The Pony (2) stabs at The Drakeling (Spike) with his +iron knife+, but the attack misses!
The Drakeling (Spike) counterattacks!
The Drakeling (Spike) kicks The Pony (2) in the upper body with his right foot, bruising the muscle and bruising the heart!

The Pony (1) kicks The Drakeling (Spike) with his left front hoof in the right hand, bruising the muscle and tearing the scale!

//Two versus one. I need to take as little damage as possible. Keep your feet moving...

The Drakeling (Spike) strikes at The Pony (2) with his Dashing Rogue Punch, but the attack misses!
The Pony (2) counterstrikes!
The Pony (2) slashes at The Drakeling (Spike) with his +iron knife+, but The Drakeling (Spike) dodges away!

The Pony (1) kicks at The Drakeling (Spike) with his left front hoof, but The Drakeling (Spike) dodges away!
The Drakeling (Spike) counterstrikes!
The Drakeling (Spike) strikes The Pony (1) in the right front leg with his Dashing Rogue Punch, shattering the bone!
An artery has been opened by the attack, a ligament has been torn, and a sensory nerve has been severed!

//Okay, one almost down, you can put this away.

The Pony (2) stabs The Drakeling (Spike) in the left foot with his +iron knife+, tearing the muscle and chipping the bone!

//FUCK SHIT GET OFF THAT FOOT I DON'T CARE WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING GET OFF THAT FOOT
//Yow, that hurt! I have to take that knife out of the fight!

The Drakeling (Spike) breathes fire! The Pony (2) is caught in the dragonfire! The +iron knife+ heats up, burning The Pony (2)'s mouth to a crisp!

The Pony (2) drops the +iron knife+!
The Drakeling (Spike) kicks the +iron knife+ with his left foot, and the item flies off in an arc!

Saccr-Ulkip speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! A massive chunk of stone rises from the ground, forming a boulder! Saccr-Ulkip throws a boulder at The Drakeling (Spike)!

The Drakeling (Spike) leaps away from the flying boulder!
The spinning boulder strikes The Pony (1) in the upper body! It collapses into a lump of gore!
The Pony (1) has been struck down!

//Woah! Not afraid of a little friendly fire, then. I can't keep dodging around with my bad foot, but if I get this punch just right...

The Drakeling (Spike) strikes The Pony (2) in the head with his Dashing Rogue Punch, bruising the muscle and tearing apart the upper spine's nervous tissue!
The Pony (2) collapses!

//Not the punch I was expecting, but hey, if it-- waa-ah!

The Drakeling (Spike) collapses!

//Calm down, it was just your foot. Get back on your knees, at least. It's all fine.
\\Except for the unicorn who's about to turn you into a red smear on the road with easy target practice.

Saccr-Ulkip speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! A massive chunk of stone rises from the ground, forming a boulder!

//Nah, I'm not worried.

CD: What are you doing?! Get up! She's throwing another boulder at you!
//The drakeling runs over to me and hauls me to my feet.
Spike: You know, us being in the same boulder-sized area is probably not the best idea.

Saccr-Ulkip throws a boulder at The Drakeling (Spike)!

CD: Aaaaaaaah!
Spike: But I refuse to submit to evil.

The Drakeling (Spike) strikes at the boulder in the stone with his Fist of Justice!
The spinning boulder strikes The Drakeling in the right hand, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
The Drakeling (Spike) punches the boulder in the stone with his right hand, shattering the stone into a pile of rubble! The severed parts fly off in arcs!
The Drakeling (Spike) is knocked over and tumbles backwards!
The Drakeling (Spike) slams into The Drakeling (???)! The Drakeling (???) is knocked over and tumbles backwards!

//Saccr-Ulkip smiles, eying me. Celestia, why do all of my enemies have the most deranged smiles? Doesn't evil come with dental? Or mental?

Saccr-Ulkip speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! Saccr-Ulkip disappears!

Spike: What?! Invisibility?!
CD: No, I don't... smell that? Lavender.
Spike: Is all this smell/magic stuff common knowledge, or am I running continuously into the world's olfactomancers?
CD: Lavender is the smell of teleportation. She's gone.
Spike: You're sure?
CD: Sure as my name is Celel Dracos, yes.

The Bandits were defeated!
Spike earned 500 experience points!
Spike is now level 8!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Spike: Celel Dracos.
CD: It's an old name.
Spike: Must be; you don't meet many people nowadays who can say 'hi, my name means: dragon'. You're sure she's gone for good?
CD: Yes. Give me your foot.
Spike: Huh?
CD: I have to know what supplies to get from the cart.
//I lie back and let Celel inspect my foot, stab wound still leaking blood. She then rushes over to the overturned cart and gathers up gauze, disinfectant, and a small wooden slat.
CD: I'm going to have to pry off a scale in order to get at the wound correctly; it's going to be exposed until you regrow the scale.
Spike: Okay.
//Celel pulls out the scale from the base and puts it aside; I pick it up and inspect it. It only looks very slightly like a feather, but I see the resemblance.
CD: You haven't lost too much blood, which is good, but I'm disinfecting the area and that's going to cause some discomfort.
Spike: Okay-yaagh!
//I force myself not to kick as the disinfectant goes in the wound.
CD: Now the bone fragments need to be removed, hold as still as you can.
Spike: Bone fragments? Was it that bad?
CD: Only a small chip; they are nearly invisible shards but they must be removed... there, I think that's the last one.
Spike: I didn't even feel that. You were doing something?
CD: The disinfectant's also a local anesthetic; all that's left is to wrap the injury.
//Celel puts the slat where the scale used to be and wraps gauze around it tightly.
CD: Normally my advice would be to stay off this foot for as long as possible, but I have to ask for your help with the ponies.
//She writes the date on the slat with a small bit of charcoal.
Spike: You mean the red mush splattered all over the boulder and the guy paralyzed from the neck down? I'm sure you're a great nurse, Celel, but I don't think you can help them.
CD: I meant the others, further up the road in the armor. They were Mr. Mortani's guards.
Spike: Oh.
//I stand up, carefully putting pressure on my left foot. It aches dully and feels tight, but I can walk and probably bounce on it.
//We walk over to the ponies in the middle of the road. They are unresponsive, but I get to work on cracking their armor open.
CD: I'm sorry, but I didn't get your name.
Spike: I'm Spike.
CD: Spike, that's not necessary.
Spike: How else are you going to get at their injuries?
CD: There's nothing I can do for them. Their throats are slit.
//I lean over. How did I not notice that?
//Together we push all the ponies, and the boulder, to the side of the road in silence. I'm still carrying the armor I removed from the first pony, a helmet and shinguards, for some reason. It might just be to hold something.
Spike: Celel, are you hurt? You've been silent for a while.
CD: No, Spike, it's... it's all right.
//Celel walks over to the overturned cart and sits down, looking at her knees.
Spike: Where were you going? Is there anything else I can do?
Celel: No, it's...
//Staring at her knees, Celel forces the palms of her hands into her eyes, trying to force back tears and failing. I start thinking, finally.
Spike: Celel, you said you were carrying a clutch. I don't have much life experience, so I didn't get it, but: are you pregnant?
//Celel nods her head sadly.
Spike: Where's the father?
CD: No, I can't, I can't ask any more of you; you jumped out of nowhere and risked your life to save mine. Thank you, Spike, thank you so much, but it wouldn't be right--
//I finally know why I'm holding the helmet and shinguards now.
Spike: Celel, I'm a Hero. This is what I do. You can ask anything of me. Where is your husband?
//Looking at me through her fingers and tears, she points to the northeast.
CD: They took him. Two pegasi with bandanas, they took him that way, during the fight.
//I put on the helmet and shinguards. A little gruesome, I know, but maybe the spirits of the dead ponies will protect me. Or maybe I'm just a vulture.
Spike: Then I'm going that way. Celel, I want to be optimistic about my chances, but you shouldn't wait up. Scavengers will start smelling the blood soon and not all of them will pass up fresh meat. Which way were you headed?
CD: Forlegsandria way, Mr. Mortani was headed. We were following along.
Spike: Then here, take this.
//I untie the small bag of bits from my belt.
CD: No, this is--
Spike: Would you rather them have it?
CD: ...
//Reluctantly, Celel takes the bag.
Spike: When you get to Forlegsandria, look for a dragon named Jebed. Tell her Spike sent you. I'm not sure what the status of dragon employment is in Forlegsandria, but Jebed will know more. The city guard should be looking for someone who knows dragon anatomy. If I manage to get your husband out, I'll send him along the same way.
CD: Spike... thank you. I don't think I can ever thank you enough. I may never be able to repay this debt to you.
Spike: Don't thank me yet.

//The entrance to an underground lair. Strangely, there's no one guarding the entrance, and no one just inside the door.
//Why is it that every adventure takes place in a dank, dark hole in the ground filled with people who want to tear my head off? Why can't I have a 'Casino and Resort' adventure?
T: So, if I were a statistician looking at your adventure, I'd find a few interesting things to talk about.
Spike: (Quiet! I'm trying to sneak in.)
T: (For example, one hundred percent of weapons used against you have been ferrous and edged. I'm not sure two for two is a significant sample size, but I find it interesting that a large neodymium magnet at the right angle would have solved twenty-five percent of your confrontations.)
Spike: (Amazing. How loudly do you think this door creaks?)
T: (Considering the oil tin right next to it, very.)
Spike: (Oh, would you look at that.)
T: (Additionally, over ninety-seven percent of your spoils of war have gone to underage female, pro-dragon, upper to upper-middle class near strangers who you have given instruction to. If I wrote attack ads, I would have a field day with that one.)
Spike: (...Who?)
T: (Palla-Walla and Celel. I'm including everything but the armor as given away.)
Spike: (Let me see if I can squeeze through this passage without too much noise...)
T: (Another interesting statistic is that one hundred percent of opponents in combat have been pony or pony-shaped. Admittedly the last fight broke the streak of solely female combatants, but its existence was strange.)
Spike: (You know, maybe dragons do have magnet powers. Mine is for crazy bints.)
T: (So what does that make me?)
Spike: (The strongest crazy bint of them all. Hold on, I think the one at the end of the hallway saw me.)
T: (This one isn't so much of a statistic as an observation, but: you have a tendency to go on quests at the behest of dragon females. What's with that?)
Spike: (Okay, he's turning around; I don't think he saw me. Did you say something?)
T: (Any time a dragon girl has had some sort of problem you've always been there to be the Hero that saves the day.)
Spike: (I'm not sure what else you're counting, but by my count, that's been about twice. Hand me the oil tin.)
//I take the oil tin from her outstretched hoof.
T: (You were much more enthused about saving Yiha's egg than you were concerned about the mayor's daughter.)
Spike: (...That's true, right. Maybe that was a little bit prejudiced of me.)
T: (Or you were worrying about a defenseless 'thing' before a person in trouble. Or you were thinking about the bystanders caught in the crossfire: a family with power and money versus a family with neither. It's possible that any combination could be true.)
Spike: (Uh, okay.)
//I spread the oil on the ground in a dark spot and wait for the patrolling pony to pass by again.
T: (Which is why you've got to keep in mind the possibility you're so motivated for these quests because they benefit named dragon females. All possibilities must be considered if you want to understand your own thinking.)
Spike: (I'm sure I helped the drakeling get her husband back and the full dragon who is almost a century older than me due to latent sexual desires. Hush, I think he's coming around the corner.)
T: (That's the thing, Spike: sex doesn't have to be explicit in your thoughts or actions, but its influence can still be there subdued, subconsciously. These are all just things to keep in mind.)
Spike: (Hush!)

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Guard Pony: Hey! Who spilled this oil here?!

The Drakeling charges at The Pony!
The Drakeling kicks The Pony in the lower body with his right foot, bruising the muscle, bruising the guts and bruising the left kidney!
The Pony looks sick!
The Drakeling collides with The Pony!
The Pony is knocked over and tumbles backwards!

The Pony kicks The Drakeling in the left lower leg with his right rear hoof, but the attack is deflected by The Drakeling's steel shinguard!

The Drakeling punches The Pony in the head with his left hand, bruising the muscle, bruising the skull and bruising the brain! The Pony gives into pain! The Pony has been knocked unconscious! The Pony collapses!

Spike: (That was louder than I was expecting, run!)

The Guard was defeated!
Spike earned 100 experience points!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//A long way away and a little time later, I think I've lost them. A tunnel has led me to a small dungeon in the cave complex, if the bars on the other side of the room holding a male drakeling are anything to go by. A green-robed mare is speaking with another mare in armor.
Robed Mare: The preparations should be finalized within the hour. I've already discussed the matter with the Saccr.
Mare in Armor: I take it she was agreeable?
RM: It's the sixteenth of the month. She didn't really have a choice.
MA: Has the capture been drained already?
RM: Oh yes, most certainly. When I mentioned to the membership his fluid was to be extracted, they were so willing it was almost pathetic.
//Fluid? Extracted? This is some crazy cult crap, what's going on?
MA: Aw, dang. I missed it!
RM: Fear not, young acolyte. In our Greater World there will be more than enough toys for every worthy mare to play with.
//'Drained'... oh.
//_Oh_.
MA: How soon is the ceremony starting? Should I retrieve the capture?
RM: He is tied up, yes?
//The drakeling is tied to a stake, arms and torso wrapped tight and feet loosely bound.
RM: Then bring him along to the central chamber now. No reason not to that I can see.
MA: Yes, Royal Mistress.
RM: His blood and corpse will be an appetizer to Alipheese the Magnificent, to invite her to feast on our world.
//They're turning around, wait for it... wait for it... now!

The Royal Mistress points at The Drakeling and starts to cast a spell! The Royal Mistress casts Stupefy!
The Drakeling is hit by the beam! The Drakeling collapses!

RM: I see you, a thief in my caves, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. I see your heart beating. I see you are afraid.
MA: Woah! How'd you do that?
RM: Dragons are a pathetic creature of warm blood and fake scale. And Alipheese has granted me a snake's infrared vision.
MA: Should we drain him as well? Another part of the appetizer for Lord Alipheese?
RM: No, not enough time. Drakeling fluid must be extracted conscious, and this one looks like a fighter. Just tie this one up and add him to the ceremony as is.
MA: Yes, Royal Mistress!
//The robed mare advances, readying another spell.
RM: Welcome to the Greater World, insect.

The Royal Mistress casts Stupefy!
The Drakeling is hit by the beam! The Drakeling is knocked unconscious!