Yeah. That's all I have to say. Yeah. Really. That's it. No that's not all. I went to my school prom and made a complete idiot of myself. I got on stage. Took the mic and explained to people how much I hate grinding or standing in circles when we should be fucking dancing. So I showed them my moves! (thanks Captain Falcon)

It's been about an hour since I went to past Ponyville. Things have been so nice. Smith here made me the best pie ever. Pie! PIE! PPPIIIIIEEEE!

"What do you think?" she asked.

"I love apple pie. But this is by far The... Best... Pie EVER!" I said chewing on another piece.

"Well help yourself. Theirs plenty of it." The first food I've had since the moon and it's the best food I've ever had. God bless you Karma system! Bless you!

"Thank you." I said wiping a tear. I'm sad because when I eat it all... Their won't be any left! Why cruel Karma system! Why!

Then this is what got me. A teenage red pony and a small orange pony walked in. SQUEE! It's Applejack as a filly! Oh my gosh! Yep. I'm still a brony after all these years.

"Howdy." said Big or uh... Little Mac. No. I don't want to say Little Macintosh. Isn't that the revolver from Fallout Equestria?

"Hello. Big Red." I told him. Yes. Big Red. Like the gum. And if you don't like Big Red then FUCK YOU!

"Hiya mister." said AJ. "What are you doin here?"

"Oh your Granny is helping me out. You see I just got here and she's being really nice and all..."

"I understand." God is she honest. Oh. Now I see. Element detected. She's not wearing her hat. Why?

"Your just the cutest little filly." I told her. "You know what will make you cuter?"

"What?" she asked me. I took a hat from the wardrobe in the living room.

"A Stetson!" I said putting it on her. It fits and *gasp* So CUTE!

"Does it look good?" she asked her brother.

"Wow. It really does." He doesn't have his monotone in his voice yet. Excellent.

"It looks great on you AJ." said Smith. "Keep it. This is a hat from your father." Oh... Oh my. She lost her dad? Oh...

"Thanks Granny." she said hugging Smith. Why do I keep bringing up memories? Seriously. Why? I heard what sounded like a performance of some kind outside. I walked out and far across the apple trees I saw a group of ponies at the school.

On my way their I looked up and saw a rainbow. Dash maybe? No. Then again I'm in the past. So anythings possible. I made it to the school to see a performance on a stage. Their were ponies in costumes decorated with jewels. D'aww. I just want to eat them up. Why? Because they have food costumes. I saw a young Rarity backstage. I didn't want to talk to her so I decided to make my way to town square.

"Phew. I'm out of shape." I said to myself sitting on the bench. I looked around. I must be about 10 or 20 years in the past. I looked over at the building that Sugarcube Corner was going to be and I watched as a younger Mr and Mrs. Cake bought the building from it's previous owner. They said something. Here's what I was able to eavesdrop:

"Should we really adopt a pony?" asked Mr. Cake.

"I'm not ready to give birth and did you see that pink one?"

"The one who lost her family. Your right! She needs one and I think we are the best!"

"I was thinking the same thing." She gave him a kiss. "I really do love you."

Aw... Young love. Seems like a few months ago I was in the same position. Oh wait. I was.

I bought a large piece of bread and looked around me. The sun was shinning beautifully as always and the town was small and quiet. Hmm... I haven't seen Rainbow or Shy but their from Cloudsdale. Twilight's from Canterlot. Shit Canterlot! I need to speak to the past princess!

"Sir!" I yelled to the carriage pony. "How long till Canterlot?" I asked him.

"Sorry Son." I hate people who treat me younger than I am. "I finished my last contract today. You're going to have to hike it."

"How long?"

"If you start running now you might make it in about... a half a day."

"Alright thanks!" I ran up the road to Canterlot. Yes I remember which one it is. As I made my way I looked at the ponies I met on my way up. I saw a magic caravan with a small blue filly. I saw, get this, a father with a violin cutie mark yelling at his daughter with blue hair and goggles. Vinyl Scratch?

"Hey buddy. Take it easy on the kid." I told him.

"And who are you to get in my business! She scratched my record!"

"And in the future her music will be the best." I told him.

"Who are you?" they both looked at me. Shit. I can't tell them I'm Dustin. And I don't want anyone to know my real name.

"I am Ash. Burning Ash." I told him offering a hoof. Bless me and my amazing tongue of lies!

"Whatever." he didn't accept it? Dick! "Why should I let my daughter continue with this?"

"You like money?"

"Yes."

"She's going to make bags of money!" I said. "I've seen it! I've been there! I love her music." I knelled down to her. "Listen Vinyl. Your going to play your bass and everyone will love you." I pulled her goggles down. "Understand?"

"Yeah!" she said enthusiastically. Vinyl is best pony. She brohoofed me. I got a brohoof from the DJ PON3! *gasp* As a kid!

"Bye kid." I said making my way back on the road. I really like that name I just came up with. Why? Because I want to light Celestia's ass up! Burning Ash. Fire. Me likey. You know what? If I make it back to normal times I am not going to hang with the mane 6 anymore. I'm going to take the background ponies and start a revolution! Nah. I wouldn't do that again.

"Can you spare some change?" asked a homeless pony.

"Uh..." I checked my pockets and found a few bits. "Sure here you go."

"Thank you! May the Sun watch over you!" He said. Right. Luna's still evil here.

"Thanks." I said walking away. On my way up I saw a small white unicorn trying to use magic. It was Hindsight. I'm going to kick his ass and teach him a lesson in the future! No... wait. I can't do that. It wasn't his fault. Celestia is the problem. God is she manipulative. Discord is out and I am going to kill him. Not a stone prison. I mean just jam my hooves into his sockets and watch him slowly die.

"Excuse me?" said a familiar elegant voice. I made it to Canterlot by the way. I turned slowly and saw Celestia. Or a younger version of her. She was a little shorter and I think happier. "Your the pony from my dreams!"

"Uh... No I'm not."

"But your are! I saw you in the future with another me and Discord!"

"Oh. Then yes. That's totally me."

"Your not even a pony!"

"Shh shh hey not so loud will ya?"

"Oh I'm sorry. Please excuse me!" I like her better than the future one already. She's more... friendly.

"It's okay. I need to get back to the future anyways."

"What is your name?"

"Its... Burning Ash."

"Oh that explains the cutie mark." I looked back to see a Red Eyeball with a Hourglass in it on fire. That's right. My talent is REVENGE!

"That's right." Then a small purple pony came out from behind her. *gasp* It's TWILIGHT! Oh my... so cute!

"Your from the future. Do you know her?" asked Celestia.

"Twilight Sparkle. The best magic user beside yourself and Luna." I told her. Twilight had that sparkle in her eyes but she still remained quiet. Then Cadence walked over and gave Twilight a hug. She must be the foul sitter. I just thought about something... If Celestia watches the Sun and Luna watches the Moon. Does Cadence watch Twilight?

"Bye." said Cadence taking Twilight away. Celestia had a D'aww face.

"So Princess. What can you do to help me?"

"Nothing."

"Jeez. Way to be like the magic conch."

"The what?"

"Nothing." How do you like it!

"We can..." we were cut off as a portal opened up. Discord and the past Celestia came in with the mane 6.

"I'm surprised you got out of the Time Vortex Dustin." said Discord. "I also learned your true name."

"Don't you dare say it. Let me guess. Static?"

"Yep. He sided with us to hunt you down." Oh fucking perfect. "Time to die Murphy O'Schavver."

"You motherfucker." He began to fly upwards building up a magic charge. I ran towards the mill. It wasn't even that much of a mill. More like a giant wheel. When I climbed on it Discord landed behind me knocking the wheel lose and sending it spinning.

"Time to die!"

"I will fuck you up for calling me Murphy!" Young Tia ran to the side and threw a sword up to me. "Thanks."

"Very well." He summoned a rapier and we began to swing at each other while moving with the wheel.

"Engarde!" I swung another blow but he ducked and gave me a hard kick.

"Hahaha! You can't defeat me! I'm a god!"

"And you can't beat me! Know why?" I asked wiping the blood away from my mouth.

"Oh please do tell."

"Because I'm pissed off!" I threw the sword at him making him block it and fall down giving me time to jump on him and continuously beat him with my hooves. The wheel hit a bump and we both fell inside the wheel as to which I used it to slam his face in. "Like that?"

"Please stop Murphy."

"GRRRRR!" I jumped out of the wheel with him and put his face on the sidewalk. "Bite it." I commanded and he opened his mouth and put his teeth on the cement. Time for the best attack ever. "CURB STOMP!" I smashed his face in with my hoof.

"Alright Murphy." said the future Celestia. "You win. You beat a god. We surrender."

"I never wanted to fight and stop calling me that! It's Dustin okay!"

"Why don't you like that name?" asked Twilight.

"I was born in Ireland. When we left for America they forced our family to change our name. I've been using Dustin my entire life."

"Alright. Do you want to come back?"

"I can't." I told them making them all gasp. "If I do time will be rewritten once again. Maybe I won't exist. Maybe you'll all die. I can't risk that."

"Please come back!" they all cried. I mean cried. As in physical tears. Even Celestia saw the error in her ways. All I wanted to do was survive. It's basic human nature.

"*sigh* fine." I looked at the past Celestia. "Hey. In the future their is a pony named Hindsight. Give him a chance. He totally loves you." I told her. I owe it to the guy. He got me off the moon. He gave me this change to hurt Discord for the other Time Paradox. The guy is nothing but awesome.

"Let's go." said Celestia. She opened a portal and we all went through it. Well not really. They did. I was sent flying when I went inside it.

"Dustin!" yelled Twilight.

"Whoa! I'm fine! Just go!" I tried to catch my self but couldn't do it. "Wait I'm in time! I can change back into a unicorn!" I closed my eyes and tried it. When I opened it I saw the big white horn on my head. "Yes!" I used the magic to hold myself still and make my way to the end of the portal.

1 crash later.

Blackness. That's all I saw. Total darkness. I must have fainted. I opened my eyes to look around. I was in a building with a large hole in the roof showing massive collateral damage. I couldn't hear anything. It was like Saving Private Ryan. More or less. I looked over to see a light gray pony with purple eyes yelling at me. Their was a party going on and I just crashed it. I tried to get up but I just now notice the pipe that impaled my left side. Yep. They did it. They took my kidney.

"Don't move!" yelled the pale blue pony with multi-shaded blue hair. Vinyl? "Just stay down!" She was brushing the back off my head. Least I can hear again.

"Is it bad?" I asked her.

"It's horrible! Please don't move!" I closed my eyes one more time and opened them to see I was in a hospital. Really? That fast?

"Are you okay?!" yelled the nurse.

"I'm fine. Stop yelling." I looked down to see lots of stitches.

"Your very lucky. Why were you skydiving to begin with?"

"I wasn't. I was going through the portal. Celestia must hate me."

"She's never meet you probably." What? "When was this?"

"It was... March... 27 2012."

"Sugar. It's June 30 2011."

"Oh no way! It's my birthday!"

"Well congrats. You get to spend it in the hospital." Aw... Then I looked over to see a worried Octavia and Vinyl Scratch.

"Sorry guys." I told them.

"Are you okay?" they asked me.

"No. But I'll recover." Oh god. My eyes are closing again. Going to faint. No!