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The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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In which we learn that Discord has plans for the Changeling Trial, Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia clash, and Shining Armor learns a disturbing truth ...

Also Princess Celestia is a master of deflection!

CHAPTER 56

“Rosebush.”

“Cadence.”

“Are you two seriously doing this again?” Shining Armor sighed heavily, his normally calm temper frayed after having to escort Cadence, complete with transparent barrier-shield spell over them and the entire group from the Crystal Empire, through Canterlot all the way up to the castle itself.

The trip had taken them through what appeared to be the entire population of reporters in the known world, however. Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Zebras, Ponies of all stripes, even a handful of Yaks, Griffons and an overly-excitable Orc that had shoved everything from cameras and microphones to a contract for an exclusive interview that might have been an entire tree at one point in its life against the barrier. The flashes alone from the cameras had given him the mother of all headaches.

And now Cadence and Rosebush were squaring off again over what was basically a pointless reason as far as he could see. They’d been having this argument ever since they’d met, as far as Shining was aware.

The two Mares turned and gave him that “You will suffer for this later.” look that all stallions learned to pick up on relatively quickly after encountering the fairer sex as something other than playmates and turned back to each other smoothly, their expressions still blank masks of faux-pleasantness as Shining shot a look to the heavens along with a silent prayer for the emotional strength to get through the day.

“So where are you keeping the Changeling Queen? The dungeons, I would hope?”

“That’s a need-to-know basis, Princess Cadence, and you don’t need to know.”

“Come now, Rosebush, we’ve been friends for years, surely you can tell me. I still technically am in-line for the throne, after all.”

“And I am telling you, again, Princess Cadence, that one of the two Diarchs of the realm have given me explicit instructions that you are to be kept as far from our new … diplomat and her staff as equinely possible.”

“Oh, and after all the help I gave you trying to woo your beau …”

“Funny you should mention that, he seems to have been seduced by a pink succubi with delusions of grandeur right before I could make my move. How very strange …”

“Maybe she was just better suited for him? Not every little school-filly crush is destined to bloom into a romance, Rosebush.”

“Or maybe the bitch just abused her position to ensure I was never able to make my move in the first place? She is a cunning, shallow vixen after all.”

“At the risk of being banished to the profoundly uncomfortable crystalline surface of the Royal Couch, can you two reel it in and save it for later? The last thing anypony needs is the newspapers running a story on the Captain of the Royal Guard and the Crystal Princess getting into a brawl on the front-steps of Canterlot Castle.” Shining lowered his eyebrows and glared right back at the two Mares as they turned matching, seething looks towards him. “Rosebush, you’re well aware your orders from Celestia have precedence over anything any junior Princesses can issue, just ignore Cadence’s request and move on, you’re the Captain of the Castle Guard and this kind of behaviour is unworthy of the position. And Cadence? Nobody wants that Faust-damned bug flattened more than me, we’ve both spent months in therapy trying to get over what she did to us, but needling Celestia’s right hoof-pony over some sort of stupid feud from when you two were teenagers isn’t going to help us get the Changelings re-banished. So if you two are quite done, shut up and act your age, not your horse-shoe size.”

Shining stood there with all the courage and poker-face training that officer-training had prepared him for as the seething looks turned positively glacial before the two Mares sniffed and turned away from each other, Rosebush walking around to a side-entrance, Cadence walking up the stairs to the grand entrance. It was only after the two had disappeared that Shining allowed himself to let loose a breath he had been holding, and his head sagged down.

“Holy Faust’s left plot-cheek! Captain Shining Armor, that was … amazing. Horrifically self-destructive, but amazing.” Adamant whispered, trotting up to stand next to Shining and snickering a bit as Shining leaned on him for a few moments.

“Yes, well, part of my duties as a husband and a former Royal Captain myself is to ensure the dignity of the Royalty is not besmirched under my watch, and letting Rosebush and Cadence keep at it would do just that.” Shining chuckled in turn as the Crystal and Royal Guards behind him offered their praise … and their condolences. “That said lads, we’ve got to get in there and keep up on our duties, namely keeping my now immensely pissed-off wife from starting a diplomatic incident and more importantly, trying to protect her from any Changelings.”

“Sir!” The Guards all saluted smartly and then rushed the doors to take up escort positions around Cadence inside the building, while Shining stayed outside for a little longer.

It felt … good to be home. For all the beauty and splendour of the Crystal Empire, Canterlot felt like home. The white marble, the brisk winds that circled the mountain, the background roar of noise from the city was as familiar and comforting as his father’s hoof on his shoulder.

I just wish we were coming home for something other than Changelings trying to infiltrate the country again.

“Oh don’t be so sour, Shining Armoire!” A voice cackled, and the white-coated Unicorn lifted his head in shock to see Discord, Spirit of Chaos, floating above him on a cloud made of, oddly enough, multi-coloured cotton candy that looked remarkable like Princess Celestia’s mane-colours. “That was the bravest thing I’ve seen in ages! I’ll see if Princess Celestia can give you a medal … and some cushions for that couch!”

“Discord … is there a reason you’re eavesdropping?” Shining asked, ignoring Discord’s attempt at a joke as a cold pit of horror opened up in his belly. Twilight’s letters, along with Celestia’s orders, had painted a picture of a god-like being with reality-manipulating abilities and a disturbing lack of social graces or grasp of causality.

Having Discord decide to ‘cheer up’ Cadence right now with one of his pranks would probably result in his wife attempting to level half the castle to get him back. And which ‘him’ would cop the worst of it was entirely up for debate at this point in time.

“Oh, hardly that, old chum! Just doing my part to help out a friend. You know, Princess Celestia asked me personally to make sure that you and your wife didn’t get close to Queen Bug-Butt. So, fair warning, I am going to push the boundaries of my parole as far as I can on this one, it has been far too long since I got to mess with such important Ponies!” The serpentine chimera chortled, pulling off a chunk of cotton candy and chewing with a big grin on his face, before coughing and spitting the offending treat out of his mouth and into a hedge, his expression now one of alarm. “Baaaghack! Now I know I didn’t mean for that to taste like vanilla …”

“We’re trying to save Equestria from being taken over a third time.” Shining explained calmly, knowing it would infuriate Discord to be spoken to so, and hopefully the Chaos-God would give up a secret or two in the ensuing hissy-fit.

“Oh, I doubt a few score of battered and starving Changelings and their almost-dead Queen could take over a coffee-shop, let alone all of Equestria. Besides …” Discord conjured a piece of sandpaper in his eagle’s claw and pulled his tongue out of his mouth with his lion’s paw and continued to speak normally even as he began sanding his own tongue, complete with sparks flying. “Cellie said I could do whatever I thought I had to keep you and your lovely wife away from the cockroach-queen, so I am going to do just that. Flex all those lovely chaos-muscles that have just been turning to mush over the past few months and get some relief. As annoying as letting old Sun-Butt hold the reins all the time can be, just trust her like you used to, she’s got this one in-hoof.”

“Speaking of which, you’re running late and Cadence is marching right on up to Celestia’s private rooms, so you’d better get a move on. Let me help.”

Before Shining could thank him, or more likely, frantically beg the God to not help, Discord wiggled his eyebrows at Shining, and the Stallion felt himself in the grip of a powerful teleportation spell.

For a brief moment, Shining was in two places at once, fading from sight with the leering face of the Chaos-God filling his field of view, the other place a constantly shifting realm of sounds that he could smell, tastes he could hear, improbable and impossible images bursting into mercifully-short life before his eyes before the sensation of being doubled happened again, and Shining dropped through the air, landing with a muffled grunt on his face.

Where he landed was a more important point, as Shining found himself spread-eagled before a very startled Unicorn who, for some strange reason, seemed immensely unimportant, Princess Celestia … and a Changeling!

“Princess Celestia, auntie, you just have to stop this mad-SHINING!” Cadence said, flinging open the doors, and the two terrified-looking Royal Guards on guard-duty flying with them, before coming upon the scene and shouting in shock. “Honey! Did the Changeling attack you! I knew they couldn’t be trusted!”

“No … Discord …” The prone pony grunted, trying to get air back into his lungs as the room descended into flying hooves and accusations.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cadence, for the last time, Shining was teleported directly into the room by Discord and Scout has done nothing to anypony in here, barring some unfortunate misunderstandings with Guard Dappled here.” Princess Celestia said loudly and firmly as her magic re-ordered the room, pulled groaning Royal and Crystal Guards back onto their hooves and kept a furiously kicking Cadence levitated up into the air, with thicker bands of golden-coloured solar magic wrapping around Cadence’s barrel to keep her wings from coming into play.

“You cannot be serious! You must be under a spell! Or the Changelings are using pheromones to alter your perceptions! Or you’ve been replaced already!” Cadence hissed, struggling vainly against Celestia’s sorcerous might as Dappled helped the Royal Physician tend to Shining Armor, who had apparently sprained his neck when falling during the teleportation, and Scout peeked out from underneath Princess Celestia’s tail, having apparently decided the best defence against an enraged Immortal was the body of an even more powerful Immortal. “They’re evil! Evil love-sucking monsters! You can’t just let them back into the country and sign a peace treaty! They kidnapped foals, attempted to overthrow the country! THEIR QUEEN NEARLY KILLED YOU IN A MAGICAL DUEL!”

“Chrysalis kidnapped the Cutiemark Crusaders, yes, but she also kept them completely unharmed and from the report Twilight sent me after the fact, the Crusaders were hardly in any danger since the Queen intended to bargain their safe return for Twilight taking over her role as the new Queen of her Hive.” Celestia pointed out, while Scout’s head emerged briefly.

“Our Queen hopes part of her treaty with Hive Equestria will be that the three grublings are kept as far from her person as possible. Especially if they decide they wish to start ‘crusading’.”

“Hrm, yes, tangling with the Cutiemark Crusaders was obviously not one of the Changelings’ finer moments, and if you had ever listened during our lessons together, you would know almost every sentient race on the continent, and a few from beyond that, have tried to enslave Ponykind or take control of the country in the past.” Trying to repress a smile at the Changeling’s words, Celestia levitating Cadence close enough so that larger Alicorn could stare the smaller one straight in the eyes, the solar monarch’s expression flicking back from bemused to annoyed. “Need I remind you that Queen Chrysalis only won because if I had used my full power, the entire assembly of Ponies and Changelings at the wedding, including your husband, sister-in-law and their family would have been incinerated by the backwash of my power. I have taken steps to avoid any future situations where this can be abused, by anyone or anypony, up to and including irrational Alicorns even, by wearing more of my Regalia.”

“And if I may also point out something you should be very familiar with? Alicorn. Immortal. Even at their moment of victory, the Changelings still depended upon surrounding my cocoon with those of other Ponies to prevent my power from tipping the balance back in favour of our nation, ensuring any attempt to free myself would have dire consequences.” Celestia continued, her mane and tail flickering orange and red in places as she spoke, her eyes boring into Cadence’s with an intensity that reduced the other Alicorn to muffled grunts of disagreement. “Moreover, Queen Chrysalis has invoked blood-magic to bind herself and her hive to a completely submissive role towards Equestria. They cannot take any action against us while within Equestria’s borders, whether by active or passive intent, or else the blood-pact will rebound on them, and given that their Queen is currently barely clinging to life I doubt the Hive will so much as look cross-eyed at my Ponies.”

“Injured?” Shining Armor asked loudly, giving up on trying to calm his wife down and, with Dappled supporting him, stood up stiffly, his neck-brace an uncomfortable but not unbearable burden. “What injured her? These ‘Elder Queens’ your message spoke of?”

“Oh, uh, apparently your sister dropped a castle on-top of her, Captain … err, Lord … Sir?” Dappled explained nervously, beginning to stammer when Shining glared at him, the neck-brace doing little to make him look less imposing.

“Yes. Our Queen suffered tremendous damage when your Junior Queen used her magic to collapse our home ontop of us.” The Changeling called ‘Scout’ ventured out from under Celestia’s tail, before earning herself matching angry looks from Shining and Cadence and retreating back under Celestia’s backside for protection.

“And the seriousness of the injuries cannot be understanded, Shining.” Bedside Manner, the Royal Physician, added as he readjusted the brace on Shining’s neck, completely unfazed as the twin glares turned his way next. “A single, solid blow could kill Chrysalis right now. I’m not even sure we can completely heal all her injuries, given how radically different a Changeling Queen’s internal organs are from those of a normal Changeling or Pony.”

“And according to Chrysalis she requires a substance called ‘Royal Jelly’ that she secreted and stored in an abandoned chamber in the bowels of Canterlot Castle to change one of her Drones into a new Queen for her Hive.” Gently scooting the Changeling out from under her with a hind-leg, Celestia placed the still-bound Cadence on the ground next to her ‘royal consort’ and gave them both withering looks that quickly defused their angry expressions into ones of disgruntled frustration. “Guard Dappled, Bedside Manner? Please escort Scout back to her quarters and inform the Royal Guards on-duty there that they are to immediately sound the alert if any members of the Crystal Empire embassy come within fifty feet of their positions. I think this meeting will go much smoother without a Changeling present to aggravate my guests’ tempers.”

“Yes, your majesty.” The Border Guard saluted and held the door open, leaning away from the Changeling as she slunk past the Crystal Princess and her Consort, while the Royal Physician merely sighed and trotted out behind her, the unlikely trio making a mad scramble for it once the doors were closed, judging by the sudden clop of hooves on marble.

“Now, before anything else is said, your first and only mistake has been assuming that I am allowing Queen Chrysalis back into the country without significant countermeasures being put into place. I am well aware of the danger of having the Changelings in Canterlot, but Bleak Mountain and the entirety of the Fourth Circle of Magi have blanketed the castle in runes and spell-matrixes designed to detect even the slightest hint of Changeling magic, and I have recalled some of our best Royal Agents to the Castle itself to spy on the Changelings. If Chrysalis so much as tries to levitate a roll of toilet paper, we know about it.” The Solar Monarch waited until the sound of galloping Ponies and Changelings had faded before dismissing the bonds on Cadence, who flapped her wings a few times to restore feeling in the limbs and gave the door a calculating look before apparently deciding she wouldn’t get a chance to make a break for the door before being grabbed by her aunt’s magic again. “And need I point out that Chrysalis has come bearing news about elder Queens across the Badlands who seek to invade Equestria, in addition to her complete surrender? We know precious little about the Changelings we already have to deal with, let alone these ‘elder breeds’, and this is a golden opportunity to learn as much as we can about the Changelings and their kin with minimal risk to our own people.”

“My apologies, Princess, but how do we know that Chrysalis isn’t just blowing hot air out between her plot-cheeks?” Shining asked as Cadence leaned against him for a few seconds, a warm reminder of everything that he’d almost lost to the machinations of the Changeling Queen. “She’s a shape-changer who is capable of social manipulation and subterfuge on such a grand scale even you couldn’t tell the difference between your own niece and the impostor. How can we be certain this isn’t just another ploy to try and conquer Equestria?”

“I can guarantee that’s not the case, since the Queen submitted to a geas to speak only the truth from both myself and Bleak Mountain. Two truth-geases, Shining, by two of the most powerful spell-casters on the planet. We got her to try to tell us a few lies and the geas functioned as well on a Changeling as a Pony, and then the Grand Magi and I began bombarding her with questions about the nature of the ‘threat’ the Elder Queens represent.” Celestia replied, giving the Stallion a sympathetic look, before seating herself on a couch and gesturing for the two of them to take a seat, while the Crystal Guards took the signal as the opportunity to assume the ‘parade rest’ stance. “Something you may be very interested to know, Cadence, is that Chrysalis and her ilk were designed to be infiltrators. They are an artificial race, created solely to spy upon our little Ponies by something Chrysalis called the ‘Empress’, an entity she is utterly terrified of …”

“Artificial meaning created by mortals? But that means they have no … oh. Oh no.” Cadence’s expression turned from angry confusion to actual concern before the pink Alicorn shook her head rapidly. “That doesn’t excuse what they did, auntie, you know that!”

“It does not, and the Changeling Queen will be called to account for the lives she endangered and the damage she caused, but right now I am more concerned there is a entity on the other side of the Badlands that can not only sculpt intelligent life, but can do so with enough power to spawn an entire race, complete with sub-species, and with the skill capable of creating a breed as complex and potent as the Changelings.”

“I will also point out that Queen Chrysalis submitting to myself and becoming a vassal of Equestria will do wonders for calming down our more volatile neighbours and hopefully delay any open conflict in the near future, and any information she can provide on these Elder Queens and their forces could be invaluable to defending Equestria and our allies from an invasion from the Elder Queens. The trial is scheduled to begin in roughly a month’s time, since Bedside Manner believes it would be beneficial for the Trial for the star of the show to not keel over dead in the middle of it all and a second inspection of the Queen’s injuries turned up some serious complications just from the vibrations from the train-trip alone. And a month should be enough time for you and Shining Armor to prepare a suitable case against Chrysalis, wouldn’t you say?”

Celestia sighed as Cadence’s and Shining’s expressions remained stony, levitated a chocolate wafer off her table and ate half of it before speaking. “While I will tell you right now that Chrysalis will not be exiled from Equestria regardless of the Trial’s outcome, since it would be too dangerous to leave her running loose outside our borders, there are still punitive measures on the table. At best, we’ll sign a treaty, legalize Changelings as full citizens of Equestria which will also make them answerable to our laws and I’ll keep Chrysalis and her Hive as far from the both of you as I can. At worst … well, the dungeons have been empty of anything besides rats and a few murderers for a century or so now. I’m sure we can keep the Changelings comfortably contained there until the Hive can produce a new Queen and we can try diplomacy again.”

“Besides, as the Changelings are an artificial race, Cadence, you will likely outlive their entire species. Consider that your revenge rather than banishing Chrysalis back under whatever castle she dug her way out of.”

For several moments the room was silent as the Guards, Royal and Crystal alike, gave Princess Celestia a puzzled look before an ashen-faced Cadence stood up.

“All Guards, I request you leave the room. Princess Celestia and I have to discuss a matter of … private concern.”

“Honey …” Shining began before a pink wing came out and smothered his muzzle and made his neck prick with pain, the brace doing little to stop him recoiling from being silenced so.

“You can stay, Shining, you’re my Consort after all, but this is … just too big to be spoken of openly. Guards …”

“You are correct, Cadence, I mis-spoke. Royal Guards, take up position outside of this room and prevent anyone, except other Princesses, from entering until I give you leave.” Princess Celestia added, her face a picture of serene calmness as the Guards gave each other concerned looks before marching out the doors, the last of them, Adamant, pulling the door closed behind him while shooting Shining Armor a searching look before the thick, magically-imbued doors closed shut.

“I … I can’t believe you said that in-front of the mortals, auntie.” Cadence whispered, collapsing more than sitting down. “I want them out of the kingdom before they can hurt our Ponies, and I wouldn’t say no to Chrysalis being … punished, but the entire species? That’s just …”

“Wait, back up, I’m obviously missing something here.” Shining shot a hoof into the air, head swivelling from Cadence to Celestia and back again.

“This is … confidential knowledge, Shining Armor. I trust in your integrity to not share this information, but it goes no further than yourself, am I clear?” Celestia explained calmly, finishing off her wafer biscuit before giving him an even look that still somehow managed to make the hairs all over his body stand on end. “Every intelligent species on Equis is a planned race, or at least that is what they are supposed to be. Placed here by the … we Immortals call them the ‘Powers’, the forces who are everywhere and everything, simultaneously. And every intelligent species will, at one point or another, have Immortals such as Alicorns appear, beings that Ascended from the base-form of the species as part of a system to regulate the growth of sentient life throughout the universe.”

“Immortals exist as a middle-pony between these Powers and the Mortal races they represent, so that the Powers can keep track of their creations and make sure that everything is running as it’s supposed to. We’re not all dying off, or becoming too powerful for our own good, the planet hasn’t been invaded by aliens or gods, that sort of thing.” Cadence added, wrapping a wing around Shining Armor as his eyes went wide and his mouth slack at the revelations being given to him. “The problem is that sentient races who aren’t planned for by the Powers tend to … to disappear after a while. Even when a race goes into decline, so long as their Immortals remain, the species always seems to find a way to hang on until they can adapt and begin to recover. But if an Immortal is somehow rendered powerless, or is stripped of their rank by the Powers … the race they represent is doomed to extinction sooner or later.”

“Created races, or perhaps a better term is Artificial Races, however, are not part of the overriding plan of the Powers, a plan not even we Immortals fully understand even after tens of thousands of years of studying and communing with the Powers.” Celestia spoke again, pointedly ignoring Cadence’s expression of concern as the larger alicorn plunged on. “These Artificial Races will never develop Immortals unless the Powers are made aware of their existence by the pre-existing Immortals, and for the most part the Artifical Races will only exist for a few short generations before disappearing, although the more tenacious species can last for a significant amount of time. Case in point, the Gryphons, whom appeared overnight almost four thousand years ago and have a host of problems that constantly plague their kind, such as an abnormally high rate of defective births coupled with a low rate of conception that has put them on a slow slide to extinction.”

“While Immortals have tried to aid Artificial Races in the past, we’ve been mostly unsuccessful in our efforts due to the trouble in contacting the Powers directly. The last attempt was the Parliament’s efforts to grant the Gryphons an Immortal of their own to try and bring them into harmony with the rest of the world, which backfired spectacularly when the candidate was murdered by his two older brothers on the cusp of his Ascension in a futile attempt to claim his impending ‘god-hood’ for themselves, and the backwash of wasted power fused the brothers together into a twisted monstrosity who sought revenge against the Parliament of Immortals for their ‘situation’, a mockery who became deified by his people and is the reason why, even now, most of the races on this continent are still locked in a state of constant skirmishing with the Gryphons.” Shining forced himself to maintain eye-contact with Celestia even as the revelations gnawed at the foundations of his world-view. He had always known his wife was important for more than just being a lovely mare with an unusual gift and stonking-hot wings, but to know she was some sort of mystical pillar that prevented his very species from going extinct? He knew there were other god-like beings in the world, one did not serve as Celestia’s right hoof without being informed about some of her secrets, and Discord was undisputable proof that there were beings out there that even eclipsed Celestial’s power, but that there was a level even beyond that of Celestia and Discord …

“So even if Queen Chrysalis is healed and we make peace with the Changelings … they’re going to die out anyways?” Cadence whispered softly, hugging her husband as Shining obviously struggled with the revelations.

“Sadly yes, unless the Powers could be contacted and agree to imbue a Changeling, turning one of the species into an Immortal and guaranteeing their future. And we’re not dealing with minds like ours. They … let’s call it the ‘consciousness’ of Powers existence on a plane of existence several layers removed from our own while simultaneously, their essence exists on multiple other planes of existence. By the time we could successfully communicate our intent to the Powers and they could translate what we were asking for into something they could comprehend, the Changelings could have been extinct for centuries, or it could happen five minutes before we even ask. Time and Space have no meaning for entities who literally are such things.” The Solar Monarch gave the two visiting rulers a wan smile as her horn rippled with magic again, and the tray of biscuits was levitated over to them. “I see this attempt at diplomacy with the Changelings as less some sort of feather in my cap, and closer to a nurse caring for a very sick patient who has only the slightest chance of recovery. If the worst happens, I can help them find the grace to meet their end with dignity. If things take a turn for the better however, then I have preserved life and hopefully created a situation where both Changelings and Ponies can continue to live in peace.”

“I still do not trust Chrysalis. I … I cannot trust her, Celestia.” Cadence whispered, still pale-faced but resolute. “If you will not banish her, then she must be confined. The rest of the Changelings might be a different story, but …”

“The Changelings are a hive-mind, Cadence. If we imprison Chrysalis, the rest of the Hive will stay with her unto death. They can no more be separated from one-another than a Pegasus’s wing can be cut off and fly away on its own.” Celestia warned as Cadence snagged a biscuit off the tray and began to nibble at it to hide her distress. “And Bedside Manner did say that it is highly unlikely that Queen Chrysalis will ever recover enough to be a true threat. Most likely, she will attempt to change one of her Drones into a new Queen, and then we shall have to deal with a new and untested leader of a people who, at best, number less than four-score and are universally reviled across our country.”

“You’ve only her word that she can make a new Queen out of a Drone. For all we know, she’s making an acid-bomb out of one of her own and you’re going to get turned into a bubbling green puddle on the ground right when Equestria needs you most.” Cadence snapped, pointing the slightly-soggy wafer at Celestia like a sword.

“And that is a risk, as an Immortal, that I am willing to take. I have faith that in the time it would take to make my way out of Tartarus and reconstitute a physical form, Twilight and Luna would be able to keep the country running along smoothly.” Celestia countered, taking another wafer biscuit and consuming it with a single bite, while Cadence quickly had to juggle hers with magic as the soggy biscuit threatened to fall apart onto the rich carpet. “I have been doing this for thousands of years, my dear. Trust that I have countermeasures in place for almost every contingency you could think of, and assassinations of my person are hardly unexpected. You’d think after the first dozen or so attempts failed to do more than annoy me that it would stop, but alas …”

“So our only options are … accept that the being who nearly ruined our lives gets off with a slap on the wrist and citizenship, or we imprison her under Canterlot Castle until she spawns a new Queen to look after her people, which might be an entirely pointless exercise because some sort of … super-gods out there didn’t get a damn memo?” Shining muttered darkly, taking up a biscuit of his own and crunching through loudly and rudely, daring Princess Celestia to say something as he glared at her.

“Life has given us lemons, Shining Armor, so I suggest you learn to like lemonade or tequila. Sometimes our options do not grant us the luxury of picking the lesser of two evils, so stow the sass until you’ve had to live with the crushing weight of a kingdom on your shoulders for a decade or two, let alone an entire world for a few millennium.” Celestia shot back, raising an eyebrow at him that disturbingly, reminded Shining of his own mother and he had to fight the twin urges to recant, both from his training as a soldier and his boyhood experiences with cookie-jars and wooden spoons. “I am well aware that Chrysalis has caused both of you tremendous amounts of pain and grief, but I am an Alicorn first, Princess second, and an aunt a distant third, however much I might wish it was otherwise, and as such I have a duty to spread Harmony and tolerance throughout the world and help preserve life wherever I find it.”

“And if we violate the terms you sent us on the train?” The former Royal Guard pushed, hoping the cold sweat he was feeling wasn’t noticeable to his former boss.

“Then I will be very disappointed in the two of you, both as a mentor and a fellow leader, but all you will accomplish is being sent back to the Crystal Empire and losing any chance to have influence over what happens to Queen Chrysalis and her Hive.” Celestia replied calmly, although flickers of red and orange light appeared in her mane and tail. “I do not fault you, either of you, for rushing to my side to help with what you thought was a grotesque failure in my judgement, but I would ask you both to step back and observe the situation as the rulers of a nation, rather than victims. You will get your chance to have your say and influence the course of action we take, but for now we must remember that our actions as the leaders of nations will affect potentially millions of lives, not just our own.”

“That said, I have something rather interesting to tell you both that might just put the pep back in your step.” A hint of a smile appeared on Celestia’s face as Cadence and Shining gave her nervous looks at the sudden change in the conversation’s direction. “Tell me, Shining Armor, how would you like to make a surprise visit to see your little sister in Ponyville? Take Cadence with you and find some emotional calm before you both return to Canterlot for the Trial? Perhaps get a chance to talk to her friends, play some Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike and Big Mac … have a chance to spend some quality time with Twilight and her new marefriend?”

“Well, it has been a while since I saw her last, that actually sounds like a … a good …” Shining’s words slowed as his brain slowly caught onto something that Celestia had said, something that, somehow, didn’t seem right.

Turning to look at his wife, hoping she would save him from the embarrassment of having to asking Princess Celestia to repeat herself in the aftermath of the tense atmosphere, Shining instead found himself looking into the equally-confused face of his wife who had done the exact same thing.

As one, the two turned to Princess Celestia …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So … d’you think everything is okay in there? I mean, it was getting super aggressive in there for a bit.” Flash whispered, the Guards, Royal and Crystal alike leaning against the doors with their ears pressed firmly to the hardwood, straining to hear anything. Curiosity over the strangeness of the situation had overcome training, although not without significant whining from the veteran Guards, and now all of them struggled to hear what was so important that Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia would banish them from the room.

With all the security spells in place, it was likely a futile effort, but the need to know what was so top-secret, especially if it involved the Changelings, had overcome every other concern.

“Flash, I swear to Faust, if you don’t shut your hay-hole, I am going to …” Adamant began, lifting his head away from the door to scowl at his compatriot when it happened.

“WHAT?” Shining and Cadence’s voice boomed, loud enough that it defeated even the muffling enchantments built into the very walls, throwing the guards still pressed to the doors back against the other wall as their eardrums were abused, window-panes shuddered in their frames and suits of ornamental armor, freshly polished and repaired after their self-animation a few days ago had them all dented and scratched, shuddered and fell off their racks with a clatter.

“WHAT HAPPENED? I CAN’T HEAR YOU, ADAMANT! WHAT HAPPENED?” Flash Sentry shouted from under a pile of groaning Guards as alarms began to sound throughout the castle.

“Never mind …” Adamant groaned, trying vainly to pull himself out of gap between two marble pillars he found himself wedged in-between and making do with a clumsy salute as a panicked-looking Shining Armor and Cadence threw the doors open and bolted, not towards the wing where the Changelings were quartered, but back towards the Castle’s entrance.

“Need a hoof?” Princess Celestia offered, walking on three legs out of her private quarters, the fourth leg massaging at her head.

“Please, your Majesty.” Adamant whimpered as golden magic gripped his body and slowly tugged him out of his impromptu prison, while the Guards who had come rushing to see what had caused the ruckus helped the other Royal Guards, several of whom shared Flash Sentry’s temporary deafness and kept shouting for everypony to speak up, onto their hooves and towards the chambers of the Royal Physician. “Ca-can I ask what happened, Ma’am? Are my Princess and my captain in trouble?”

“Oh? No no, we settled our dispute as well as could be expected, given the circumstances.” The solar monarch gave a small, soft smile, which rapidly bloomed into an intoxicating grin that made Adamant profoundly grateful that he preferred Stallions to Mares, else he might have fallen hard at the sight of Celestia’s radiant face. “But I do think I’ve perhaps given Shining and Cadence something else to focus on other than their issues with the Changelings.”