Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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And the plot sickens. Nobody is really in the right here, nor is anybody completely in the wrong. That said, this will have far reaching repercussions down the line.

I am quite sorry for this chapter, however. Poor Ponies.

Re-Write Edit:

I'd like to thank everybody who gave actual feedback to this chapter and helped with the re-write. I'm still not entirely happy with this chapter, but ultimately it serves a point for later on in the story and I will just have to accept that until I get a proof-reader or somebody else to pre-read my stuff, this will have to do with the workload of real life pressing down on me.

CHAPTER 49

Applejack was used to life throwing her curve-balls. There always seemed to be a twist in the path of her life, be it a stubborn case of bark-rot right before growing season sweeping the farm, having to go into town to deal with more useless ‘motions’ put forwards by Spoiled Rich or Carrot top that would negatively affect her farm or her family, or even finding out a little too late that Big Mac had sold their last keg of hard cider to his mysterious buyer in Canterlot right when she needed something to take the edge off her day.

Finding Twilight’s house full of other Ponies was proving to be one of those curve-balls. One of the curviest of all time no less.

Having to help Twilight hold Rarity down as Nurse Redheart put the final touches to the full-body cast that Rarity would be wearing for at least the next few days was a nice consolation prize, but the farm-pony had kind of hoped to be the one to do the damage herself. Still, it was hilarious to see Rarity doing a very unenthusiastic impression of a paper-mache piñata, eyes rolling in horror at being wrapped up in plaster to prevent her injuries from being aggravated further. Rainbow Dash had somehow managed to deliver greenstick fractures to almost every bone in Rarity’s torso and pelvis and severe bruising to everything else in the region, but Rarity’s long-honed ability to go limp and faint on the spot had saved her from any further damage.

With a full battery healing spells twice a day to speed up her recuperation and total immobilization to prevent any further aggravation of her injuries, Rarity would be limping around under her own power within a week, and probably fully healed in a month, rather than the better part of a year in traction. Of course, that would mean Rarity would need to be carried to and from the bathroom and fed by somepony else while in her cast, but Nurse Redheart would likely be handling the former and Spike had begged to do the latter.

Of course, that also meant Rainbow Dash had the offending fore-limb in a cast for her own efforts and would likely not regain the full use of the limb for at least a month, since Ponyville’s sole Unicorn doctor would be focused entirely on Rarity’s injuries, and Trixie’s new golden torc was matched by a hard white neck-brace and a slightly-crooked horn.

All of which still didn’t make a lick of difference because Filthy Rich, Bulk Biceps, Derpy and those two music-Ponies wouldn’t leave despite every subtle hint that Fluttershy and Zecora gave, and Twilight was, strangely enough, either unwilling or unable to ask her other guests to leave. The last thing Applejack wanted was the townponies to hear about the disaster that had been last night, and the fact that Applebloom wouldn’t meet her big sister’s eyes, and the they had to talk to Twilight about that infernal box containing the bedamned Spell-Scroll sent shudders of terror up and down Applejack’s spine.

“But darling, you can’t just leave me with these brutes! I have so much to do! So many dresses to finish, and now I’ll be weeks behind schedule!” Rarity whined, pouting at Twilight, which was all she could do with her full-body cast immobilizing her.

“Rarity, you and I both know you won’t get many orders until at least the end of next month and everypony starts to want coats and hats for the start of winter, and I for one am going to get everypony involved in this madness to sit down, talk to me in a calm and rational manner and we are going to resolve this. Or so help me Faust, I am going to go take a page out of Rainbow Dash’s book and just start drinking until I don’t have the capacity for caring anymore and then I will solve this.” Twilight warned, glaring at Rarity, then the other Ponies in the room. “And I’m certain we all remember what happened the first and last time I tried to bring about friendship while hammered.”

“Heh, was a hoot seein’ you levitatin’ through town screamin’ ‘FRIENDSHIP!’ and throwing water-ballons filled with beer at people. Berry Punch still talks ‘bout it.” Granny Smith hooted, giving a gap-toothed grin as she settled herself down on a soaf, helped over and fussed over by Fluttershy, who looked over, met Applejack’s eyes and immediately blushed and looked away.

An’ that is gonna be a pain in mah kiester for a while yet, an’ ah ain’t talkin’ bout them knots. Dang it …

“Ah would prefer some privacy, Twi’. This is all kindsa awkward, an’ ah plum don’t fancy havin’ it bandied ‘round town.” Applejack finally gave up on subtlety and spoke up in a sour tone, glaring at Rarity, who blinked and quivered in her full-body cast from the heat of that look.

“Are we talking ‘everypony is going to make fun of me for weeks’ awkward or ‘I have to leave town and never come back’ awkward?” Spike offered, probably innocently, as Applejack, Zecora, Big Mac, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all shared a look and said as one.

“The last one.”

“Whoooo boy. Rarity, I don’t know what you did, but this is … nyaaaaaagh!” Twilight began, before screaming and ruffling her mane with a hoof franticly. “Okay! Okay, that does it! I am sorry, Mister Rich, but I’m going to drag everypony involved in this madness upstairs and to what privacy I can offer, since somepony has apparently done something terrible enough to make no less than nine other ponies chase them through Ponyville and nearly kill her in the process of stopping her running away.”

“Very well, your Majesty. We’ll remain down here and keep ourselves occupied with … planning. But please, not too long, Princess Twilight.” Filthy Rich sighed and bowed slightly, as did the other four Ponies a heartbeat afterwards. “We cannot dither here all day, not without questions being asked that we can’t afford to answer…”

“Oh dear sweet Faust on a park-swing … understood, Mister Rich. Okay, everypony involved in this debacle, upstairs and …” Twilight’s pupils shrank to pin-pricks and a slasher-like smile appeared on her face as somepony knocked timidly on the door.

“I will get that.” Luna said loudly, putting a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and pushing the manically-grinning Alicorn back towards the stairs. “The rest of you, get upstairs to Twilight’s bedroom, and take Lady Rarity and Twilight with you.”

“Yeesh.” Applejack muttered, nudging Twilight up the stairs as the over-stressed Twilight tittered insanely to herself. “Ah hope you’re proud of yourself, Rarity. Yer dumb prank’s caused nothin’ but grief fer all o’ us!”

“It was just a cake!” Rarity whined pitifully, grunting as Big Mac carried her up the stairs on his back, her outstretched limbs banging into the wall and railing of the staircase.

“If that was ‘just’ a cake, then I’m Tirek!” Rainbow Dash snapped back, hobbling awkwardly on three limbs behind Big Mac and his unwilling cargo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good grief, what a morning! I am beginning to understand why my sister favours her bland, calming teas over a steaming mug of delicious coffee if this is what our little Ponies are like before the first quarter of the day is even finished!

Luna opened the door and blinked slowly as she found herself face-to-face with a pair of earth ponies, one gangly stallion with a stubble-covered jaw and a small, rotund mare, both of them looking utterly distraught and holding each other’s hooves desperately.

“A-ah! Princess Luna? U-uhm, we were wondering if … if Applejack is still present? We had Ponies tell us that she was chasing Rarity through the town.” The Stallion stammered, looking very pale even as he squeezed the Mare’s hoof.

“We’ve something of an apology to make, and hopefully some … restitution. Is it possible to speak to Applejack privately, your Majesty?” The Mare added, looking utterly mortified with the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

“Ah … is this by any chance pertaining to Lady Rarity and a certain cake?” Luna asked softly, and winced as she saw the two Ponies sag against one another. “Hmm, I see it is a … complicated matter. Well, currently Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Zecora, Big Mac and three young mares are up in Twilight’s private quarters hashing out the details. I suppose Twilight would be more than happy to speak to you if you are involved in this incident somehow.”

“Oh good goobering gobstoppers, honey, we tainted the Cutiemark Crusaders …” The Stallion whined pitifully, sagging against the Mare, who in turn went pale and whimpered, a soft animal noise of pain and distress.

“Errr …” Feeling equally awkward on her own behalf and sympathetic to the two Ponies, Luna gently urged them into the library where the pair took the steps with all the enthusiasm of a gryphon prisoner on their way to a meeting with their executioner.

“Welcome to the wonderful life of a Ponyville native, your Majesty.” Filthy Rich quipped from the other side of the library, where he had seated himself and picked up a mug of coffee with one hoof, and one of the jap-apple jam tarts, brought from his own store, and messily ate the treat, while the rest of the Royal Agents dove into the trays of snacks like they hadn’t eaten in days. “My suggestion? Eat now, because if this goes like it usually goes, we’ll all get caught up in the insanity for hours to come yet and miss lunch at the very least.”

“I see.” Luna replied dryly, shooting one last glance at the stairwell before levitating a tray of sweet over to herself, ignoring the sad eyes the three agents were giving her as she removed half of the food from the area and trotted over to the stairwell leading up to the private quarters of the Golden Oaks library. “Then I had best make sure that Twilight and her friends eat properly before the ‘insanity’ begins.”

“That’s okay, Princess Luna!” The Lunar Monarch yelped and almost dropped the tray as a pink hoof tapped her on the shoulder, Pinkie Pie bouncing past her with pannier-bags packed to the point of almost exploding, a huge grin on the pink earth pony’s face. “Mr and Mrs Cake wouldn’t tell me what was making them so upset, only that it involved Applejack, so I made my best apple-fritters and apple-tarts and apple-pies and apple-twists and …”

Continuing on in that vein, the ‘Pink Terror’ bounced up the stairs three at a time like some sort of bizarre reverse-slinky, leaving a wide-eyed group of Ponies in her wake.

“HOW?” Luna finally managed to force the words out, staring at the door, which she knew she had shut and locked behind the strange pair of Ponies. And she would have felt it if Pinkie Pie had manifested magic, chaotic, innate or otherwise.

“It’s Pinkie Pie.” Octavia sighed, snatching the last tart off the remaining tray and then fighting to bring it to her mouth as Vinyl Scratch tried to snatch the treat with her own hooves. “Ponies have gone insane from trying to figure out ‘how’ or ‘why’ with that Pony. Just accept that she doesn’t make sense and move forwards.”

“Mother Earth, preserve me.” Luna whispered to herself, and forced herself to start climbing the stairs, levitating the tray of tarts behind her. “I’m dating a Mare who lives in a town full of mad ponies.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After getting everypony seated and comfortable, including the now completely-immobilized Rarity, the teary-eyed Cakes, and making sure that Rainbow Dash knew any further assaults on anypony else in the room would result in Twilight teleporting Rainbow directly to Canterlot for a lecture from Celestia about the perils of relying upon physical violence, Twilight then had to thread the needle through the mob of ponies in her room to let Luna in, the anti-magic cores in the door-handle meaning that Luna could not both levitate the tray of tarts and manipulate the door at the same time.

“Well … I can honestly say that while this isn’t the weirdest morning in Ponyville we’ve all been involved in, it’s certainly in the top ten.” Twilight sighed, seating herself on the bed and being joined promptly by Luna. “So before this descends into our usual brand of chaos … Pinkie? No impromptu songs, party-cannons loaded with whipped-cream pies or confetti-filled whoopee-cushions. Rarity, no theatrics, I have only gotten three hours sleep in two days of complete and utter insanity, so I am probably due for a psychotic episode any minute now if I get pushed one more inch. Applejack… if Rainbow so much as twitches in Rarity’s direction, I want her tied up, and Fluttershy is to use the Stare on Rainbow until you think she’s calmed down.”

“Awwww…”

“Darling, you are really going there after refusing to help moi, and then watching as Rainbow assaulted me?”

“Gotcha, Twi. We’ll keep her in line.”

“You can count on us.”

“Hey! Ropes are one thing, but the Stare? That’s just cruel, Twilight!”

Twilight frowned at the rest of the room and glared down the complainers until the room was silent again.

“Rainbow Dash is crude, impulsive and prone to reckless action.” Twilight said, ignoring the snort of anger from the blue Pegasus as she looked right at Rarity, staring into the immobile Unicorn’s eyes. “That said, this is Rainbow Cirrus Dash, one of the most loyal Ponies in Equestria, if not the world. Pranks might be a hobby of hers, but actual physical violence against Ponies is not. I want to know what it was that you did, what would make Rainbow Dash risk her career with as a Reserve Wonderbolt to deliver a Sonic Rainboom punch to a civilian.”

“And let us not forget that Applejack, Fluttershy, Big Mac and the others were also in pursuit of Lady Rarity.” Luna pointed out, looking over the assembled Ponies with a wry smile on her face. “And judging from the way they were moving, they appear to have suffered physical injuries of some sort.”

“I hardly doubt chasing the Cutiemark Crusaders all night long warrants a response like this!” Rocking back and forth slightly in her immobilizing cast, Rarity spat the words back, glaring at Rainbow, whose own scowl only deepened.

“We weren’t chasin’ ‘em, Rarity, we were tryin’ to keep ‘em as far away from the homestead as we could! And ah can’t believe you’d put your own sister at risk for a prank like this, let alone doin’ it to yer friends!” Applejack stamped a fore-hoof angrily on the floor, spitting the words at the white-coated Unicorn. “We’re all damn lucky that Rainbow was able to distract Big Mac, else if he’d been ‘chasin’ the Cutiemark Crusaders, well ah don’t think ah need to tell y’all how badly that would have gotten.”

“I hardly think Big Mac would ever hurt the Crusaders, no matter how rambunctious they got!” Rarity shot back.

“Hurt ‘em? Land’s sake, y’idjit girl, if he’d caught ‘em after your damn cake-stunt, he’d have killed ‘em.” Now Granny Smith got into the argument, shaking her walker threateningly in Rarity’s direction. “He’s all in proportion, y’fool of a Mare! What didj’ah think would happen if’n he mounted ‘em?”

For several moments there was only silence as the entire room turned as one to stare in horror at the infamously blunt matriarch of the local Apple clan, mouths working silently, eyes bulging.

“WHAT?” Rarity shrieked, blushing and giving a horrified look at the assembled ponies before language apparently failed her and the fashionista descended into spluttering incoherency.

The Cutiemark Crusaders then apparently decided to do their best impression of hedge-hogs, planting their faces on the wooden floor and covering their heads with their hooves, whimpering and blushing madly, while Fluttershy, for her part, had turned a shade of pink that was almost neon before curling up into a ball.

“Granny!” Applejack hissed, pulling her hat down over her face as the farm-pony’s features paled at the thought, and Big Mac simply looked at his grandmother, blinked slowly and then joined the Cutiemark Crusaders in their new careers as pretend-hedge-hogs. Rainbow Dash, however, nodded firmly and pointed a wing to the matriarch, sneering at Rarity.

The Cakes, for their part, just sobbed and leaned against each other, while Pinkie looked on in confusion, scratching her head with a hoof before silently shrugging to the two aghast Princesses.

“Okay, whoa, back up there everypony! Why would a cake make Big Mac mount the Crusaders? I just … what?” The purple Princess finally managed to force the words out, her subconscious being annoyingly unhelpful with mental images and scenarios that, after all she’d seen last night, gave Twilight the willies something fierce.

“Last night, Rainbow dropped off the cake that Rares said she’d have made for us, as thanks fer lookin’ after the Crusaders fer the evenin’.” Applejack explained, still looking green around the gills as she clutched her beloved hat to her chest. “Was a nice gesture, ah thought, but about half an’ hour after we had dee-zert, mah loins were on fire, an’ poor Mac was jus’ about to punch a hole through the dinner-table with Lil’ Mac!”

“My wings were locked straight for seven hours, let alone getting my, uh, field ploughed by Big Mac. I thought I was gonna die!” Rainbow added, wincing as she looked over to her friends for support and saw Fluttershy giving her an agonized look. “It wasn’t intentional, Flutters! We all know that you two are … you know, into each other. But we were in full-blown estrus because of that stupid cake!”

“And you!” The rainbow-maned Pegasus continued, pointing a wing at Rarity as the spluttering Unicorn stared googly-eyed at them. “There’s jokes, there’s pranks, then there’s the manure you pulled! Bad enough you slipped us an aphrodisiac-filled cake, but you did so when you knew the Crusaders would be stopping by for dinner! What in Tartarus were you thinking? Even I wouldn’t put a filly in harm’s way for a prank!”

“This Zebra can confirm, Applejack was in the middle of her heat, which is rather strange because summer is completely beat.” Zecora pointed out, the Zebra shaman shifting gingerly on her cushion. “Even the latest bloomer would have been done moons ago, yet both Fluttershy and I can confirm her flower was in full show.”

Now it was Big Mac’s turn to give a horrified look to somepony, staring at Applejack with an expression somewhere between absolute horror and pure envy, which caused his sister to bury her face in her now-completely mangled hat and whimper, and Fluttershy to hide behind Zecora, peering out at the group from behind the double barricades of the Shaman's flanks and Fluttershy’s own long mane.

“Wow. A Zebra and Fluttershy in one night. Way to go, AJ!” Rainbow muttered, raising a hoof to give Applejack a slap on the back, having apparently forgotten her other fore-limb was now snug in a cast of it's own, and nearly fell onto the ground herself.

“It was supposed to just be sugar! SUGAR!” Rarity wailed, rocking back and forth against the wall in her cast once again, eyes flicking from one pony to the next in disbelief.

“It’s still your fault, Rarity.” Fluttershy pointed out, the cripplingly shy Pegasi boldly standing up to point a hoof at her friend. “If you hadn’t tried to do such a mean-spirited thing to your friend in the first place, we wouldn’t be here right now! Just sugar wouldn’t have done this to us! You need to apologize, right now.”

“I was punched in the face!” Rarity shrieked back. “A lady’s face is her treasure! Such an insult had to be repaid!”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, then winced, her eyes flashing a dark purple for a second before the Alicorn shook her head and put a hoof to her temples, grimacing as if in pain.

“Twilight?” Luna whispered, leaning in close as the room descended into squabbling again, with Rarity screeching her innocence and how Applejack was to blame for hitting her, and Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack demanding Rarity apologise for their ‘rough night’.

“Something is … wrong …” Twilight whispered back, scrunching up her face in pain as she pulled her hoof down from her temples and looked at Rarity with concern. “I don’t know why, but I just saw the Element of Generosity in my mind, but it was straining against the torc’s setting, trying to do … something …”

“Is this the first time you’ve seen this vision?” Now looking greatly concerned, Luna put a wing across Twilight’s back as the hubbub of the room grew louder and more hostile around them.

“Yes … but what does it mean?” The purple alicorn whimpered. “I start to have visions about Rarity’s Element right as all of this happens, it can’t be a coincidence!”

“Perhaps we can … explain?” Carrot Cake offered, raising a hoof awkwardly into the air as the assembled Mares slowly descended into a painful silence, staring at the two whispering Alicorns in suspicion.

“Please, good stallion, do so before we have another incident on our hooves.” Sighing heavily, the Lunar Monarch pulled back from her marefriend, though her gaze lingered long on Rarity.

“W-well, you see, your Majesties …” stammering, the gangly stallion began. Yesterday, around the second bell of the afternoon, miss Rarity came by our store and placed a very peculiar order. She asked for a triple-layer chocolate cake, glazed cherries, fresh whipped cream, caramel sauce, all the trimmings … with triple the normal sugar content in addition to 'whatever will give the Ponies who eat it enough stamina to stay awake all night' …”

“It’s all my fault!” Cup Cake interrupted, sniffling and shooting an agonized look at the Crusaders.

“No, honey, it’s mine. I took the order, I should have just stuck with stamina potions or tried to mix in the guarana instead.” The gangly stallion protested, wrapping a hoof around his wife’s shoulders and pulling her close. “Your Majesties … no. Everypony, this is all a horrible mistake.”

“Wait, why would you mix aphrodisiacs into the cake?” Twilight spluttered as the room now focused its undivided attention on the two bakers.

“Well, it was my fault, Princess Twilight. You see, we couldn’t understand why anypony would want the Cutiemark Crusders to be up all night long! It just didn’t make sense, but then I remembered that Rarity was always being coy about her love-life when we’d have our monthly get-together at the Ponyville Spa, and I thought that maybe that was the reason.” Cup Cake sighed, closing her eyes and sagging against her husband for a few seconds before continuing. “It just seemed like such a bizarre thing to ask for, to want the Crusaders to be even more energetic and hyper than they normally are!”

Applebloom muttered ‘We’re right here, y’know?’ before earning a swat from her sister’s hat to make her shut up.

“Cup thought it might have been Rarity trying to subtly order a surprise for a lucky Royal Guard, something to help him, ah, perform without needing to offend him by offering stimulants after all the stress that yesterday must have caused, and was saying it was for Apple Acres rather than openly say it was for her own use. Faust knows, it’s not the weirdest thing we’ve been tasked to make, and not just by Rarity.” Carrot added further, wincing as he noticed the laser-guided glare that Rarity was aiming their way.

“I meant for you to add sugar! Not aphrodisiacs, just plain sugar! Why am I being blamed for somepony else’s stupidity! I am the aggrieved party here, I have been brutally attacked by my so-called ‘friends’ twice now!” Rarity spluttered, and Twilight winced again, the flare of dark purple energy flashing in her eyes as her friends continued to fight. “First Applejack punches me in the face, leaving a terribly unsightly bruise on my poor jaw and knocks me unconscious, and now Rainbow Dash almost kills me for somepony else’s ridiculous ‘interpretation’ of my order!”

“So you admit you were trying to prank us! Damn it, Rarity!” Rainbow exploded, taking a hobbling half-step towards the immobilized Unicorn before Applejack jerked her back down into a sitting position.

“You should apologize, Rarity!” Granny Smith and Fluttershy shouted at once.

“I’m sorry, Rarity, I thought I was …” Cup Cake began before Rarity cut her off viciously.

“You thought I would settle for some … Guardspony? Me? I have greater ambitions in life than being a soldier’s wife!” Rarity spat, glaring at the pair of bakers with naked hostility in her eyes.

“Hey! My brother is a Guardspony!” Twilight snorted, wings rustling as she gave Rarity a dirty look in turn. “As a matter of fact, a couple of Applejack’s and Pinkie Pie’s cousins are Guardsponies too!”

“Same here! What, somepony who works for a living isn’t good enough, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash chipped in, scowling at the immobilized fashionista, who glared back at her with contempt.

“I have no intention of settling for normal, only one of the elite will possibl-lugh?!”

“Mister Cake, are you certain of this? I don’t need to remind anypony that giving drugs to underage Ponies is a serious offence. Even accidentally, everypony involved in the creation of this drugged cake could be facing fines, or even time in Horseshoe Bay at worst. The fate of three Ponies is at stake here.” Luna spoke up, wrapping dusky-blue magic around the muzzles of the majority of the Element Bearers before they could interrupt again, or fan the argument into an even worse encounter.

“Wait, three? You mean Rarity too?’ Twilight asked, turning her entire head and neck to give Luna a surprised look. “I mean, this is all an accident, and a horrific one at that, but she didn’t ask for the aphrodisiacs.”

“IF this goes to the Courts, and I do stress the word ‘if’, then her ambiguous wording and dubious intent for the cake in question could be used against her. While the lion’s share of the crime …” Luna sighed as the Cakes winced and dropped their heads to the ground in defeat. “… would fall upon the heads of the Ponies who made the drugged cake, Rarity was the individual who ordered the creation of it in the first place. The intent behind the order would also have to be considered, especially given that the Cutiemark Crusaders are officially on a watch-list with the Royal Guard for their antics, and Rarity is related to one of the victims of her prank.”

“There is also the point to consider that there are precedents for similar crimes. Most recently there was the case of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns vs Sherbert Lips, a dreadful event in which a teacher who, in response to being the victim of continuous and humiliating pranks from her noble-born students, acquired some unidentified contraband that had been taken off several students and told one of the cooks to add it to the evening meal, claiming it was exotic curry spices, in the hopes it would humiliate or even harm the students whom she had been unable to get expelled or even apologise for their actions towards her.” Luna continued. “While the order was in reverse compared to the debacle before us, the cook was also charged, albeit for simply adding unidentified magical reagents to the food, for the love-poisoning of over eighty-seven Ponies and the actions they took while under the effect of the powdered Heart’s Desire. While Lady Rarity might simply escape with a fine, considering her many actions in service to Equestria and her role in this matter, she would most certainly still be charged with the crimes.”

“And if I recall correctly, one cannot be elevated to the peerage if convicted of a crime of the first degree, which includes murder, treason or … or rape.” Twilight muttered as the room went silent again. “And the law is very strict on that matter, to protect Ponies from predatory individuals and to ensure such Ponies are never able to achieve political power within our nation, given that our species is infamous for our lack of inhibitions when caught in the full grip of our mating instincts. Under the law, anypony proved guilty of being a party to a rape, including the unwanted use of sexual stimulants intended to raise the libido or otherwise bring about a similar state of estrus, or being knowingly involved in the providing of said substances to an unwilling party, can also be charged with rape even if they didn’t physically touch the victim.”

“Thankfully, nopony here was aware that they were providing sexual stimulants to minors or unwilling parties, but the fact remains that the Cakes, and to a lesser extent, Lady Rarity are still responsible for creating a dish which was loaded with sexual stimulants which was then given to unaware Ponies, an act that is considered as a crime under Equestrian Law.” Luna pointed out. “Luckily for everypony, as one of the two Princesses who rule this country, I am able to pass sentence on my own and avoid a public outing of this debacle for the Ponies involved… if all parties are willing? Otherwise, we must take this to the Courts, especially since now two of the highest authorities in the land, Twilight Sparkle and myself, are now aware of the situation and the Ponies involved.”

“That is so flimsy …” The immobilized Fashionista muttered weakly as the other Ponies in the room nodded or said yes. “I just ordered the cake, with extra sugar …”

“Your wording was ambiguous and your intent malicious. I will say it again, you might avoid actual time in a cell, Lady Rarity, but you would be fined and charged for your part in all of this, and that would sink any hope you may still have for joining the Nobility as one of their own. Regardless of your intentions, you are the genesis of this mess and as such, under the law, you are considered a party to the crime at the very least.” The Lunar Monarch pointed out calmly, though her eyes narrowed as Twilight whimpered and put a hoof to her temple as if in pain. “So, are we all in agreement to resolve this matter discreetly, or shall we drag this out to the bitter end in the Courts?”

“Ah can’t rightly say ah’d like to be in the papers fer somethin’ like this.” Applejack muttered darkly, shooting a foul look at Rarity that the white Unicorn matched with equal venom. “Ah’ll agree, Princess Luna, if’n only fer the sake o’ mah friends an’ the Crusaders.”

“We agree. We will abide by anything you say.” Carrot Cake added, his wife nodding as she dabbed at her eyes with a now-dripping hankerchief.

Within moments, almost all of the assembled Ponies had given their assent, with Rarity being the final one, her tone bitter as she agreed to be bound by Luna’s ruling.

“Since we shall be resolving this matter privately, even if I must still lodge the incident with the Hall of Records, I believe that Blood Price will serve as both suitable punishment for the Cakes and Lady Rarity, and fair compensation for the affected parties.” The Lunar Princess waited until the shocked whispers of the rest of the Ponies finally died off. “Despite the name, the law does not allow one to draw blood from the offending party, merely a loss of funds, goods or property to the victims. I will ask those who have fallen afoul of the ‘cake’ incident to list their desired recompense, and then the guilty parties shall either agree or offer a counter-proposal. If neither party can agree on a suitable form of recompense, I shall intervene and impose a suitable form of compensation that will give both parties at least some closure.”

For almost a minute, Applejack, Zecora, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Big Mac whispered to each other, shooting looks ranging from angry glares to ones of misery to the Cakes and Rarity before Applejack stood up and nodded firmly to the Princesses.

“First, the victims shall put forth their claims, individually I might add, and then the offenders shall either accept those claims, or offer a counter-proposal. I will, however, point out that the Cakes and Lady Rarity never intended for this to happen, and the Cakes, at least, are fully aware of the nature of their transgression and are also parents themselves of young Foals.” Luna continued, raising a hoof to forestall Rainbow’s demands as the brash Pegasus opened her mouth to speak. “I will also point out that Lady Rarity has been gravely injured and will likely be unable to work for nearly a month before her injuries heal, if not longer, and thus will already be suffering under financial strain. Anypony who does not take these facts into consideration will be reprimanded.”

“Now, who will go first?”