Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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Oh Faust, it's here. The outright Futa Clop chapter starring the Cutiemark Crusaders. Oh dear sweet filly Faust on a park swing I'm actually doing this ...I regret so many, many things!

In regards to the age, under Equestrian Law, the Fillies are in that legally 'grey' or 'gray' area where interactions between themselves is technically allowed, but anyone or anything else goes to Horseshoe Bay for a looooooooooong time. This is intentional as it puts several parties in both legal and moral quandaries about what has happened and what may happen in the future ...

That feel when you look back and realize that the past ten-plus chapters have all been about a single day, holy heck.

And two updates? Within the same month? WHAT VILE SORCERY IS THIS? AGAIN!

CHAPTER 44

“Sweetie Belle …”

“No … no … no! I cast the spell right! Exactly right! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?”

“This isn’t a spear, IT’S A PENIS!”

All three Crusaders looked down at their loins, eyes wide with shock, although in the case of the white-coated Unicorn, horror as well, where black-furred sheaths, fat and soft, had appeared, and were rapidly peeling back as thick pinks shafts with flared heads began to push out of them.

“Maybe … maybe we messed up? The itchy feelin’ we all got, maybe that made the spell mess up?” Applebloom offered, tentatively poking the strange thing growing out of her, and shuddered as the sensation of her own hoof made the shaft pulse … and her already-sore marehood pulse and wink with renewed vigor. “But where’s the rest of it? You know, the round bits at the back, like in the pictures in the biology books?”

“Wooooooooooooow this is aweeeeeeeeeeeesome!” Both Sweetie and Applebloom turned to stare at Scootaloo, who had rolled onto her back, one hoof massaging the cleft between her hind legs, the other rubbing up and down the new shaft that had grown just in-front of it, her eyes going crossed and her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. “No wonder Snips and Snails do this all the time!”

“No, its not awesome at all! This can’t be … Rarity will kill me!” Sweetie whimpered, even as her eyes became fixated on Scoot’s rapidly moving hooves and the twitching flesh beneath them. “She … she always says Stallion-parts leave a mess behind, and Rarity hates messes! She’ll never let me back into the boutique if I have this!”

“Yeah, but maybe this is what we … need? With this stupid feeling we’ve all got?” The farm-pony whispered to her friend, shuffling over to hug her friend, whose expression was on of absolute horror as she probably imagined Rarity’s outrage, Applebloom wrapping her hooves around the trembling unicorn, who trembled and then hugged her earth-pony friend back for precious seconds before both Crusaders flinched, squeaked and looked down between them.

The newly-sprouted shafts lay sandwiched between them throbbed and twitched, dollops of cloudy fluid dribbling from the holes in the heads, the shafts rubbing against each other between soft belly-fur and the warm, sticky fluid that was slowly coating them.

“Aw heck.”

“Oh … that’s kinda …”

Flustered, Applebloom looked away to the side, flushing heavily and caught sight of Scootaloo masturbating furiously, hips thrusting into the air and her hooves almost blurs of orange-hued movement, an image that did little to settle her nerves or cause her new limb to calm down.

“Uhm, ‘Bloom?” Sweetie Belle’s breath came hot agains the side of Applebloom’s face, and the white-coated Unicorn moved softly, causing the newly grown, and highly sensitive, organs to grind against one another, making both Crusaders moan softly for several heartbeats. “I-I’m still itchy, and you’ve got a … scratcher. So c-c-co-could we …”

“Sweetie, ah wanna, but what if ah knock you up? You remember Miss Cherilee’s warnin’ about letting the boys do that to us when we’re in estrus, right? An’ this feels a lot like last spring …”

“Uhm, Rarity gave me the talk too, but she said it should be fine if they pull out before they shoot.” Sweetie whispered back, humping against Applebloom with short, swift movements that dragged their new organs against each other in delicious bursts of slick friction. “A-and I think I can swipe some pills from Rarity’s bedroom i-if you can’t pull out in time.”

“D’you think you can get me some of them pills too?” Applebloom asked, pulling away from Sweetie Belle slightly to push a hoof down between them, separating their sticky shafts and awkwardly pushing them down to slide between their hind legs, the pink shafts crossing just before the rolled-back sheaths at their bases, the hot flesh throbbing against their wet folds. “Ah kinda wanna try it too, y’know?”

“This is so weird …” Sweetie whispered again as the two Crusaders began to softly buck against each other, awkwardly standing on their hind legs and holding each other with their front ones as they rubbed their shafts against their folds, each thrust slightly harder and more desperate than the last as the new, strange sensations thrilled them beyond anything they had felt that night, and the strange, itchy craving that plagued them still pushed rational thought to the background, until a particularly heavy thrust caused both ponies to pull back, and then push against each other at just the right angle …

“Whoooo!” Sweetie and Applebloom both let out a shocked breath as they felt the other’s folds part around the flared heads of their shafts, a wonderful silken tightness, warmer than anything they every thought another Pony’s body could be, their legs trembling as the two loosened their grip on each other enough to stare at the heated space between them, where the two pink shafts had crossed over each other and entered their dripping folds.

“Oh mah gawdess.” The farm-pony gasped, shuddering as she pulled back slightly, then pressed forwards against, earning a estatic mewl from her partner as the two shafts ground against one another, and they pushed just a little deeper inside each other, the flared heads pushing against all sorts of interesting spots. “Sweetie, whatever you’re doin’, you stop an’ ah’ll never forgive you!”

Sweetie’s response was a low, animal moan as she pulled back in time with Applebloom’s own withdrawl, the flared heads almost popping out before she thrust back vigorously, the two Ponies yelling out loud in delight and surprise as they buried themselves in each other as deep as they would go, the bases of their shafts turning from pink to red from the sudden pressure as flared heads tapped against pulsing cervixes, the two locked together for several heartbeats, eyes wide open in shock and staring into each other’s faces, mouths flapping open as they lost all sense of the world around them, lost in the sensation of the hot, silken depths that gripped and pulsed around their new organs.

Another thrust, then another, and another, Applebloom found herself unable to count as she and her friend thrust wildly into each other, lost to the sensations of being both penetrated and penetrating, unable to handle the influx of new, strange pleasure as they loudly cried out in wordless passion, the twinge of discomfort from the compressed bases of the shafts all but lost in the maelstrom of other sensations until Applebloom felt Sweetie Belle swell inside her, the flare growing almost painfully large, and half-lost in the her heated state, Applebloom remembered that a male Pony ‘flared’ only when they were about to climax!

“Sweetie, y-you gotta puuhmph!” Her cry was lost as the lust-addled Unicorn in her hooves lunged forwards for a kiss, the two inexperienced young Ponies duelling awkwardly with tongues as their hips pistoned against each other, and Applebloom’s worries were lost in a building pressure within her own loins, a increasing tightness that had more to do with her own shaft swelling than the wild, erratic contractions of her partner’s inner depths, her growing flare snagging on the bumps and folds within Sweetie Belle as the young Unicorn began to cry out wordlessly, and a wet, glorious heat, even more intense and delicious than what she was already experiencing, blasted into Applebloom’s body, a pulsing wetness that made her body quake and the tightness in her lower belly explode, a line of impossibly pleasurable fire shooting up through her shaft and causing Sweetie Belle’s insides to become even slicker and wetter.

Moaning into each other’s mouths, the two Crusader’s thrust into each other again and again, the surge of hot juices from their new additions only subsiding after several more thrusts, the two pulling apart as much from exhaustion and surprise, their shafts popping out with paired, loud schlick noises as the two fell apart and onto their backsides, a final, victorious spurt from each of their shafts flying through the air and splattering onto the wooden floorboards between them as the two Crusaders gasped for air, bodies quivering with the aftershocks of their orgasms. Both orgasms.

“Applebloom?” Sweetie whispered after almost a minute, blushing heavily and grinning madly.

“Y-yeah, sugar?” Applebloom replied, flushing as much from seeing the slow ooze of off-white coming from between Sweetie’s hind-legs, and the warm wetness sliding out of her in turn as the term of affection she had just used, and laid down on the cool floorboards, unable to maintain direct eye-contact as her concerns about tomorrow came flooding back to her.

“I think I really like messy things. Like, really really like them.” The young Unicorn giggled, putting a hoof between her hind-legs and massaging the red, puffy lips there, her shaft twitching and hardening as she did so.

“That! Was! Awesome!” If she wasn’t exhausted from a long night of no sleeping and hard rutting with her friends, Applebloom might have jumped in surprise as Scootaloo bounced over Applebloom’s prone form, her shaft drooling a thick strand of white fluid that, from her new position, the young farm-pony could tell came from the distressingly large pile of thick cum on the floorboards just a few steps away from where she and Sweetie had just been ‘active’. “Me next, me next!”

“What about … the counter-spell?” Applebloom asked futilely as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle began to excitedly talk about how to best use their new ‘spears’, and how they were going to become ‘Cutiemark Crusader Spear Maidens’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Twilight, is there a store that sells food late at night in Ponyville?” Luna whispered, looking at the distressingly low level of butternut pumpkin soup in the cauldron, and the gaggle of ravenous Pegasus Royal Guards eagerly drinking bowl after bowl of the hearty soup scattered around the library, the hungry Stallions having already dismembered all of the bread, fruit and vegetables in Twilight’s pantry with their first and second servings.

“Uhm … yeah. Filthy Rich’s Bargain Emporium is open all-day everyday, but after what happened with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, I think he might be a little sour if we were to walk in and buy food for the Royal Guards after all the bad publicity his little filly has caused him today by biting those other Guards.” Twilight whispered back, looking at the empty shelves in her pantry in dismay before walking over to the fridge and sighing at the equally-bare innards of the cold-box. “That said, it’s the Bargain Emporium, or we fly out to Applejack’s farm, make off with a barrel or two of apples and leave them an I.O.U. note.”

The two Alicorns craned their heads around the corner of the small, cramped kitchen of the library and frowned in unison as Spike, grumbling heavily from a lack of sleep and the noise of the Pegasus Guards talking to one another at four in the morning, staggered over towards them and the kitchen with another tray piled high with empty bowls.

“Okay, yeah, the Bargain Emporium it is. I think they’ll start eating my books if we have to go all the way out to Applejack’s farm to borrow some food.” The purple princess muttered darkly as she glared at the back of a Pegasi who put a dog-ear in one of her fiction novels, while another had turned a collection of self-help books into a crude seat to join his friends sprawling across the couches. “Uh, Luna, I hate to ask, but I don’t suppose you have any bits on you? I kind of won’t get paid by the Ponyville Council until the end of next week, the bank won’t be open till about nine in the morning, and I’ve only got about a dozen bits on hoof right now…”

Luna turned and gave Twilight one of those bug-eyed looks that the young Alicorn was becoming to grow accustomed to more and more, mouth working silently before she finally managed to croak out the words.

“Twilight, dearest, are you telling me that a Princess of the Realm does not have access to the Royal Treasury? Thou must … you must rely upon a ‘wage’ to buy your daily bread?”

“Yes, of course! I earn my keep on my own four hooves as the librarian of Ponyville, but the excess bits I get from my stipend as Celestia’s student, as well as the rewards from our adventures, goes right back into expanding the library’s stock and replacing damaged books. And my experiments. And Spike’s dietary requirements.” Twilight gave a sad laugh, rubbing at the back of her head with a hoof. “Gemstones aren’t cheap, after all, and I have to get them imported from Canterlot directly with Princess Celestia’s royal seal or I have to pay a huge amount of tax on them that would make it impossible for me to pay for them normally. And Spike literally goes through a barrel’s worth of gems every week, like they’re candy!”

“You cut off my gems, I start talking to the press about where you stash your diaries.” The young Drake in question warned as he wobbled into the kitchen under the load of soup-bowls, decidedly unimpressed with both the early start to his day and the tone of Twilight and Luna’s conversation by the sound of it, given that his face was obscured behind the pile.

“YOU WOULDN’T!” The purple princess thundered, and was completely ignored by the young Drake as he staggered past them with his heavy load.

“Canterlot Commonwealth News, first page, Twilight’s private diary. Dear Diary, today I learned that one cannot rush things. Not friendship, not the seasons, and no dangerous magical experiments that swap my poor mistreated, underpaid, overworked assistant’s gender for the other one for an entire week. Next time, less shredded mandrake root, more black lotus extract.” Spike muttered loudly as he deposited the tray on the kitchen sink, then climbed up after it to stare into the cauldron and grimace at how little of the soup remained. “Or I could tell them about the time you ‘accidentally’ set the whole town off on an obsessive rampage over your Smarty Pants doll. Or the time when you tried to help Pinkie Pie make some marshmallows and the whole town got terrorized by an angry Marshmallow Mare the size of Applejack’s barn?”

“You … you know, I think I actually still have those proton-packs somewhere in the basement …” Twilight muttered, giving Luna the stink eye when she finally noticed her assistant and her girlfriend giggling madly at her. “Okay, so maybe I’ve made mistakes. A lot of them, truth be told. But the last thing I need, Spike, is to have those horrid Ponies in Canterlot writing all sorts of lies about me with your help! They have plenty of made-up horrors to print without you giving them any more dirt on me!”

“Sir Spike, I think your teasing goes too far.” Luna chimed in, giving the young drake a playful swat across the back of the head with a wing. “Still … it would behoove the realm for you to perhaps share the contents of those diaries with the other Princesses. Just to be safe.”

“NO! Its private, they are private, you can’t read them, nopony can!” Half-laughing, half-protesting, Twilight chased Luna around the kitchen and out into the library, dodging around and jumping over the surprised Pegasus guards as the Lunar Princess led her young partner out into the night, leaving the Guards giving Spike startled looks begging for explanation.

“Come, Twilight! To this ‘Bargain Emperor’ to feed our starving Royal Guards!”

“Luna, its Bargain Emporium, and not until you promise to stay away from my diaries!”

“Nay!”

“LUNA!”

“You wish for my secrets and history, you must give up something in turn, Twilight!” Giggling, Luna half-jumped, half-flapped away from the fuming Alicorn behind her, blowing a raspberry at her girlfriend as Twilight grumbled about fully-ascended Alicorns and their ability to function all day without sleep. “Now come, Twilight, we shall procure some food, make sure the Royal Guards are fortified for their trip back to Canterlot and then …”

“And then we hope the Royal Agents actually show up for once. And if that happy event actually happens, I am closing the library for a day and knocking myself out for the next sixteen hours or until the next earth-shattering disaster blows up in my face.” Disappearing in a flash of purple light, Twilight teleported directly in-front of Luna, who felt herself pushed back slightly by ...something as Twilight re-appeared before her. “Luna, we may want to disguise ourselves before we enter Mr Rich’s store. His daughter did cause a debacle today and he might be slightly upset with us. Diamond Tiara is a spoiled little girl and has her father wrapped around her hoof, so he might take offense at us being in his store. He does have the right to refuse service to patrons.”

“Nay, Twilight, we shall not. This merchant is one of our subjects, and our laws are both fair and clear: His child harmed a Royal Guard while refusing to obey a Royal Edict to clear a battlefield and thus will be punished, as a minor, under those laws. Should he have any complaints, he should have perhaps taken steps to ensure Diamond Tiara took more after himself than his wife.”

“That … that sounds a little off, Luna. I mean, I know Diamond Tiara is a pain in the plot at times, and Spoiled Rich is a bit of a, well, she’s a total bitch …”

“I have seen Diamond Tiara's dreams, Twilight. Her true self, stripped bare, is a vain, small-minded, petty little monster obsessed with being adored and worshipped by those around her and a desperate fear of her own mother that makes my skin crawl just thinking about that little filly. My oath as a Dreamwalker prevents me from explaining the true nature of her home-life, but I can say that we have marked Diamond Tiara as a Pony in need of being saved from herself, and hopefully the mind healers, errrr, ‘therapists’ that we have mentioned her situation to will be able to heal her mind once Diamond Tiara finally accepts that she truly does need help.” Luna’s smile faded and the Lunar Monarch shot a look towards her beloved night sky as she trotted forwards and wrapped a wing around Twilight, pulling her close as the two Alicorns headed towards Filthy Rich’s store. “Speaking of which, perhaps my time in Ponyville might be best spent giving Spoiled Rich a piece of my mind, in person and with the power of an unrestricted Royal Canterlot Voice for emphasis. Whatever pull she may have with the local authorities that stymies our efforts to help her daughter will not hold up against a direct approach from a Princess!”

“Luna? You are far too worked up for this just to be dislike for a Pony whose temperament is in need of a good dose of reality.” Twilight asked after her lover’s diatribe made the purple Alicorn’s ears lie flat. It was the first time, outside of the Nobles of Canterlot, that Twilight had ever seen Luna so angry.

“I … when I first started my Dreamwalker duties again, I focused heavily on Ponyville, at my sister’s request. No doubt she hoped the kind souls in this town would help me feel more at ease after a thousand years of stewing in my own guilt and the twisted embrace of the Nightmare Spirit. Naturally, I focused upon you and your friends at first, and once I had confidence in my abilities again I branched out into the dreams of the other Ponies in Ponyville, the Rich family were one of the first whom I visited since I wished to see the dreams of what I assumed was a happy family.” Much more quietly now, Luna kept on talking as the two Alicorns threaded their way through town towards the Bargarin Emporium. “Filthy Rich is a very good-natured pony, albeit one with ambition and a willingness to step over others if that is what it takes to succeed, traits that are not necessarily evil or negative when balanced with empathy and a desire to help those less fortunate than oneself, traits in which he has in abundance. His wife Spoiled Rich, however, takes a great amount of pride and pleasure in being one of the dominant forces in Ponyville’s social circles, and has reinforced her dominion over the years by driving potential rivals out of the town or demonizing them through her circle of sycophants.”

“But as soon as you appeared, Celestia’s own pupil and the ‘vanquisher’ of Nightmare Moon, her position as the defacto Queen of this little town disappeared like a sand-castle before a tornado. The fact that you have also taken the Cutiemark Crusaders under your wing for special tutoring and refused to offer similar treatment to her own child has, to Spoiled Rich’s twisted way of thinking, marked you a personal enemy of hers. I fear that while Filthy Rich might be willing to work with us, his wife will be using all her pull in this community to cause as much trouble and petty grievances as she can without exposing her intentions directly to us.”

“I do recall a few motions at the local council meetings for by-laws preventing me from casting spells or using the Elements of Harmony inside the town limits cropping up, but they always got voted down and nobody would ever say who put the motions forward at the closed meetings when I asked.” Leaning against Luna as much out of fatigue as a need for warmth and emotional comfort, Twilight turned her eyes to the neon sign above the double-doors of Filthy Rich’s store, frowning heavily as she mentally digested Luna’s words, and the thought that somepony in her beloved town would hold such hatred towards her for no real reason. “I mean, there’s always been a few Ponies who never liked me in town, mostly the older Earth Ponies who want everything done with hooves alone, no magic, but nopony has ever come up and outright said they don’t like me or want me in town to my face.”

“You will find bigotry everywhere you go, Twilight, like slugs on the underside of a rock. My sister combats it with teachings of understanding and empathy because most beings who hold to such specist or tribal beliefs do so out of ignorance and fear, and once they learn the truth, such beliefs are quickly abandoned.” Luna whispered as the two Alicorns walked into the store, all but abandoned but for one checkout where a brown-coated Stallion appeared to be sleeping with his back to them, slumped over the bench with his head on his hooves. “There will always be a hoof-ful, however, who refuse to let go of their hatred no matter what we do or say, Twilight. They will cling to their hateful creeds and dogma until the end of their days, and our only real way to fight them is to prove them wrong at every turn, so society itself becomes immune to their poison.”

“The Bloody Horn Rebellion … you mentioning that the Hearthwarming legend is a story … exactly how bad were we, Luna? The Tribes, I mean?” Whispering still to allow the poor pony left on the late-shift to sleep for as long as they could, the two Alicorns each levitated a pair of trolleys out of the storage bays and pushed them down the aisles with their magic, levitating in whatever suited their individual tastes with a soft rattle of the metal frames of the trolleys as they meandered through the store.

“In a word? Nightmarish. Together, Celestia and I turned the Three Tribes from mutual genocide, but it was a near thing, Twilight. A very, very near thing. Only a few thousand of each Tribe survived the trek across the Dragonspine Mountains, and their blood-feuds, as well as the attrition they suffered fighting the native species of this part of the world and the deadly effect of the Windigoes dropped their numbers even further. It took the better part of two hundred years after the Tribes agreed to the peace treaty and settled down before we were certain that there were enough Ponies left in the world to maintain a healthy breeding pool, and even then it took another five hundred years before the last holdouts started to give up their Tribalist ways …”

“And then we had the Lust War, where the Succuponies came into existence?”

“Yes. Just a over seven hundred years after the Three Tribes came to Equestria, the Coven rose to power and started the Lust War, which raged for over a decade before my sister and I finally singled out the magical frequency required to turn their hellish power back upon itself and use their connection to Tartarus to draw the entire debased race into a prison demi-plane where they could be contained until the end of time.” Luna said softly as the two turned into another aisle, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the ‘products’ on display. “Salty plums in fermented juice? Yes please!”

“Ick, I know my brother and Cadence loves those things, but salt and plums do not belong together! And don’t dodge the subject!”

“I’m not, I’m not, its just … salty plums!” Sticking her tongue out, Luna noisily levitated an entire shelf’s worth into one of her trolleys, ignoring Twilight’s look of disgust. “Between the Lust Wars and my own … mistake two thousand years later, we also had to deal with the fallout of the Succuponi curse on our people, then a hundred years after the Lust Wars came the Crystal Crusade, when King Sombra … came into being and enslaved the Crystal Ponies and tried to march south to conquer the rest of the continent, the King of Shadows taking particular pains to kill every Unicorn his army encountered along the way in revenge for what they had done to him and his Earth Pony family.”

“Then we had our first real encounter with the Minotaurs of Labrynthia a few decades after we sealed Sombra away and lost the Crystal Empire to his curse, an encounter which we only just stopped from turning into a full-fledged war because of the warmongering of the Pegasi’s leaders at the time, as well as constant troubles with the Diamond Dog packs and Buffalo Herds running afoul of Earth Pony settlers who refused to acknowledge the rights of the people whose lands they were encroaching upon.” The Lunar Monarch continued as they slowly worked their way down the aisle, swatting a wing through a cloud of telekinesis from Twilight when the younger Alicorn tried to levitate a batch of salty plums back onto the shelf. “And then towards the middle of Celestia’s fourth millennium, we had our first real trouble with the Gryphons, and even then there were factions within our little Ponies who kept on agitating against each other, and us, based on tribal lines when our attention turned towards our borders once more. I will say, however, that despite every outburst of bigotry and close-minded xenophobia our little Ponies suffer from, Equestria has advanced far from when I lost myself to the Nightmare.”

“Really? From what you’re saying, it seems like we keep backsliding into barbarism the moment something goes wrong!” The purple Alicorn said, feeling sick to her stomach at the words of the other Princess. Are we really so … so horrible and troublesome? I always thought Ponies were amongst the most noble creatures on the planet! I mean, sure, we’ve got our share of bigots and trouble-makers, but overall, aren’t we a good people?

“Twilight, I have witnessed foals bashing each other’s heads in with rocks as their mothers died with their teeth in each other’s necks, fighting over nearly-empty sacks of moldy, rotten hay even the most desperate Pony of today’s era wouldn’t touch. I’ve seen armies slaughter each other to the last Stallion because one Noble couldn’t keep their hooves or genitals away from another’s wife.” Luna pointed out as they rounded the aisle and turned into another. “Believe me when I say the bigotry I see today is as a pleasant summer rain to the horrors I have endured in the past. That does not mean I will not stand against it everywhere I find it, but the fact that many Ponies today actively champion the cause of equality, not just between the Tribes, but between the different races that inhabit our world fills my heart with such joy I fear at times it may burst. The changes this world, our nation, has embraced gives me hope that the lessons we have been trying to impart for so long have finally taken root, and deeply at that, in the hearts and minds of our little Ponies.”

“It has taken a little over three thousand years, and that includes the thousand that I have been banished for, and more bloodshed than I care to remember, but Twilight, Celestia and I have finally helped Ponykind see that labels and differences, both physical and otherwise, are not something to be used to divide or segregate oneself from the rest of one’s people, but rather celebrations of an individual within a community, a symbol that we can pursue what and who we are in a healthy and wholesome way. I can only imagine what the Ponies of Equestria will achieve in the next millennium with four Princesses helping them overcome their natures!”

“…You make it sound like we’re evil.” The words came out of Twilight barely audible, but Luna’s ears flattened and the happy smile on her face flickered away in a heartbeat.

“Twilight … everypony, no everything is … selfish, not evil. It is how we survived before intellect over-ruled instinct, how the strong endured to sire the next generation in a world of predators, diseases and natural disasters. Before the rise of civilisation, there could be no room for pity, no strength to spare to protect the weak. If you did not rise above and conquer your rivals, death was likely your fate.” The Lunar Monarch explained softly as they walked slowly down the aisle, just pushing their trolleys now. “Such natures helped our ancestors survive, even thrive, and the legacy of those instincts, that drive for us to fight, to win, against the rival or that which was different and alien helped us rise above our ancient competitors and become tool-users and magic-wielders.”

“But now that our society has reached a level where every moment of the day need not be spent searching for food or preparing for battle, now we’re free to change our natures. It took thousands upon thousands of years for us to reach this level, and as such it will take thousands of years yet for us to learn to safely and healthily integrate those same instincts into our society in such a fashion that our drive to succeed and expand does not come at the cost of supressing and oppressing each other.”

“And that’s why Princess Celestia does what she does? Altering history so Ponies don’t backslide into tribal warfare?”

“Well, yes, but not only for the Ponies. Obscuring threats like Sombra from the public records helped prevent groups like the Shadow Council or even rival nations from seeking out these ancient threats in idiotic attempts to secure an alliance or claim that power for their own. Much of our history remains unchanged, of course, to help keep questions about historical inaccuracies to a minimum, but the Royal Archivist and Royal Librarian are both aware of the alterations to history, and are bound by blood-oaths to preserve the true history in a secret wing in Canterlot Castle, as well as seek out those who are digging into the past and guage their intent and purpose.”

“It’s all so … big. I can scarcely wrap my head around the concept, that Princess Celestia has manipulated the history of the entire world …”

“Not just Celestia, Twilight. Many of the Immortals have lent their aid, as did mortals who also could see the danger, of later generations who had only heard of the romanticized legends and would have no experience with the horrific reality. Thousands of individuals have helped in this goal over the millenia, and for the most part, it has worked exactly as intended.”

“No-pony went to where the Crystal Empire once stood or attempted to recolonize the area and risk disaster when the Crystal Empire would reappear, in-part thanks to the Lord of Winter keeping the region blanketed in snow for thousands of years and the Chromatic Queen stationing several families of her White Dragons in the region to scare off possible settlers. Thanks to Celestia’s and my efforts, all texts that could help a sufficiently powerful sorcerer to access the powers of Tartarus are destroyed or kept under the the tightest of security in the heart of Labrynthia under the vigilant guard of the Priesthood of the Everburning Lord and the agents of the Platinum King. I could go on, but we would be here all day.” Luna grabbed another shelf’s worth of treats and noisily piled them into the trolleys she controlled, large round tins of Zap-Apple Jam tarts and gave a small chuckle as Twilight emptied the shelf below that of the same treats with a guilty expression on her face. “I can remember how much it burns to know that just beyond the edge of your understanding, a greater truth lurks, but trust us, Twilight. Trust in me, Celestia, your sister-in-law and the other Immortals. We truly do have the best wishes for this world, and all the peoples that dwell upon it, it is just that fate and the whims of selfish individuals have forced us to use such roundabout methods to achieve that goal.”

“I believe you, Luna. I believe in you, and in Princess Celestia. I’m just so conflicted over everything I’ve learned today, from Innate Magic and Ponyville being the home-base of the laziest Royal Agents in Equestria to Succuponies being real and now Celestia is the grand-high editor of history.” Twilight paused and rubbed at the inside of a foreleg with the other, gnawing on her bottom lip as she thought of her next words. “I just … need time to process all of this, to settle my thoughts.”

“Time you shall have later today, Twilight.” Luna promised, reaching out with a wing to brush Twilight’s mane affectionately. “I promise, I shall ensure that after we have seen to the Royal Agents, you shall sleep deeply and soundly, without nightmares, and give your subconscious a chance to help your mind calm itself.”

“Thanks, Luna. I guess … this ought to do for the Royal Guards?” Twilight sighed and leaned into the touch, before looking down at their now-heavily loaded trolleys.

“Goodness no, Twilight. I’m shopping for myself.” The dusky-blue Alicorn tittered, dancing away as Twilight attempted to swat at her with a shorter, stubbier purple wing. “Once I purchase these and store them in my portable hole, I’ll buy something else for our stalwart Royal Guards.”

“Wait … are you going to make me pay for all of this?” Twilight squeaked in horror, eyes widening as she took a second glance at the pile of food in her trolleys. “M-my wage won’t cover thi-.”

Ducking in close, Luna put a hoof over Twilight’s mouth to stall her panic-attack, and put her muzzle close to Twilight’s ear, her breath hot and sweet against the smaller Alicorn’s sensitive skin.

“Oh, no no no, Twilight. I will buy all we need tonight, of course, but I shall expect to be ‘paid back’ the next time we are in the shower together …”

Blushing fiercely, Twilight’s mouth opened, either to protest or offer a counter-proposal, when a loud cough made the two Princesses flinch away from each other and then bounce off the tall aisles of produce, their heads whipping around to the source.

The brown Pony they had seen before at the checkouts was staring at them with a bemused expression, and now they could see his face …

“Your Majesties.” Filthy Rich said, bowing deeply with a tired smile on his face. “We need to talk.”