Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

Please support the show.

I would like to apologise in the delay in getting this one out. Somebody thought it would be 'funny' to run a magnet over my laptop at the camp and it's taken a while to restore everything from the backups. I'll continue to upload chapters as I can restore them.

Some dirty content in this one, but no outright 'Clop' so to speak.

CHAPTER 33

It was, Rarity supposed, a good day, all in all.

Sure, the morning had been a near-disaster, what with a Succuponi trying to corrupt Twilight and a horde of Canterlot's finest reporters trying to turn the blame for the whole thing on poor Twilight, let alone being the victim of one of Applejack's infamous 'hay-maker' hoof-punches.

Still, all had turned out well, the Fiend was captured and taken to Canterlot to be imprisoned under the mountain, the reporters had been completely traumatized by Twilight’s magi-babble and Applejack had foolishly apologised for her actions by promising to look after the troublesome Cutiemark Crusaders for the evening.

Which allowed Rarity to finally spend an evening catching up on her work … and to plan some well-deserved revenge on the farm-pony for punching the fashionista square in the chin.

“Erhm, Miss Rarity, I know you're … look, I think I took your order down wrong. You want us to make a triple-layer chocolate cake, glazed cherries, fresh whipped cream, caramel sauce, all the trimmings … and you want triple the normal sugar content in addition to 'whatever will give the Ponies who eat it enough stamina to stay awake all night' … and send it to Apple Acres by this evening?” Carrot Cake asked nervously, eyeing the smug-looking Unicorn like she had grown a second head.

“Oh yes, that's the order I gave you.” Rarity replied, beaming at the gangly Baker.

“Erhm … that's … I guess we can … can make this cake. But Miss Rarity, this cake will be … will be … whoever eats this cake will be so saturated with sugar that they won't sleep for days, let alone the side-effects from so many stamina potions!”

“And that, Mr Cake, is precisely the point. The Apples are looking after the Cutiemark Crusaders tonight … I want to make sure that dear Applejack has the energy and the … stamina … to handle them.” Rarity whispered back, batting her long, elegant eye-lashes at the gangly Stallion, who gulped and shot a look at his plump wife, who was busy dealing with a gaggle of reporters all firing off their orders to her, all at once.

“Well … uhm … we could have the cake done by about …. five? It's two in the afternoon now … that's the soonest we could get it done.” Carrot Cake stammered, his eyes flicking back and forth at something only he could see, no doubt imagining making the cake right now.

“Fan-tastic! That will be just fine, Mr Cake. Please start as soon possible, and put it on my tab! Ciao!” Rarity batted her eyes at the gangly stallion once again and all but pranced out of the shop.

With Sweetie Belle occupied, Applejack getting her just deserts in a very literal sense and Opal over at Fluttershy's cottage, I can finally … the Fashionista stopped and stared at her face, reflected in the glass window of a shop, and scowled as she noticed the swelling on her chin. Oh blast it all … no. No, I will not let this get to me. Time to be pampered, to be relaxed so that I can slip into the zone as soon as I enter my home, and start work.

Aloe and Vera's massage parlour wasn't far, and Rarity did have a platinum membership …

Just an hour. A massage, a mud-pack and some herbal poultices on my chin … perfect.

Needless to say, Rarity was lost in her own little fantasy of an evening of productive work without her sister trying to 'help' and setting Rarity back by several hours, or Opal clawing up a new dress out of irritation at being ignored. And of course, Applejack surrounded by a trio of hyperactive, unstoppably-energetic Fillies until the sun rose on her family's farm.

So when she pranced forwards and found herself face-to-face with a startled Twilight, who seemingly materialized out of nowhere, with Luna, Zecora and Fluttershy holding hers and each other's tails in their mouths, just in-front of the massage parlour.

“Wha ...” Rarity managed to say before a purple limb wrapped around her neck and dragged her into the massage parlour, followed swiftly by the other three Mares.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well isn't this just perfect!” Twilight rolled her eyes and tried her best to ignore the heat in Rarity's words as the Fashionista spluttered and fumed, even as the twin Ponies who ran the parlour led them into the 'group' room. Whatever her complaining, Rarity's membership privileges and Luna's assurances that all costs would be covered by the Crown had convinced the 'Spa-Twins' to close the shop for the day to give Zecora a chance to explain her plan.

“We art truly sorry, Rarity. We were all looking for reporters behind us or on the roofs, and Twilight was focused on maintaining the invisibility dome.” Luna replied, her words archaic and stiff as she tried to apologise to the fuming Unicorn as the two Spa Ponies led the way. “If you wish to leave, now is the time. We will all swear you left as soon as you helped us book the parlour for ourselves.”

“Sadly, your Highness, that won't matter one blue bit! If I was spotted entering the parlour with you all, and if Zecora's little plan ever goes public, I will be linked to it no matter what you or anyone says.” Rarity sniffed angrily, then turned her eyes to the Spa Twins and frowned. “Besides, I fear this is the very worst place you could have picked to discuss the matter.”

“Here we are, my ladies.” Aloe said, the Earth Pony smiling as she pushed open the door with a hoof, revealing several long, low tables, covered with soft fluffy towels and pots filled with incense sticks, a large, sculpted spa dominating the back of room and floor-to-ceiling mirrors adorning the side-walls. “My sister and I are delighted to serve Royalty, and our dear friend Miss Rarity too, of course!”

After a short time of organising who would get the massages first and Twilight prepping the room with every anti-scrying and privacy spell she could recall, the Ponies sat themselves down for an awkward conversation, Rarity and Fluttershy earning the first round of massages from the Twins.

“Okay, so, this is going to be awkward no matter how we try this ...” Twilight said loudly, giving a sickly smile to the Ponies in the room. “And Aloe, Lotus? I hate to do this but … under the Royal Privilege Act, I am officially ordering you both to not spread word of this conversation under threat of incarceration and-slash-or exile. That's more to give you a legally water-tight excuse for why you can't say anything if the rabid pocket-ferrets outside start trying to lean on you, rather than me saying you can't keep a secret.”

“Oui. My sister and I are known for keeping the secrets of our clientele, Princess Twilight, but thank you for your concern.” Aloe said after a short pause, smiling broadly.

“Okay, good, glad that went okay. Alrighty, moving on … Hermaphrodites. Does anyone know of any, preferably Unicorns for a compatible base-line with Trixie for attempts to reverse Sunset's partially transformation of her posterior, but any of the other three Tribes will also suffice.” Twilight blabbered, turning beet red as every eye in the room turned to stare at her. Hard. “I said it would be awkward no matter how we tried!”

“Uhm … n-n-nooooo?” Fluttershy stammered, turning a shade of pink that would have made Pinkie Pie envious before hiding her face behind her wings, clouds of steam escaping from her ears.

“Up until this all started, I was not even aware of a third gender!” Luna snapped, colouring as well, but not quite so badly. “Knowing what we do now, I suspect that the Neighponese Ambassador and her … her bodyguards might be able to provide some samples, but they would come with political conditions that you might not want to honour. Both the former and the current Empresses has already expressed an interest in you, even when you were Celestia's personal student. As you matured, my sister said the tone of the current Empress's interest shifted from more diplomatic intentions to far less chaste ones, so I shudder to think of what she might demand of you now that you have Ascended to an Alicorn.”

“I … may know a Pony or two, I do deal with specialty clothing for the discerning customer after all, but I cannot divulge their identities. Such things are strictly need-to-know, and I will not risk my patrons being 'outed', especially not the media circus parked right outside our doors.” Rarity replied next, stoically counting tiles on the ceiling.

“Nous ... pouvons connaître de certains poneys, mais ...” Aloe began, before a none-too-subtle nudge from her twin, Lotus, made her blush and say in Equestrian “We know of some Ponies who share this … this Trixie's situation, but we would need to discuss this … discuss this with them. You knowing their identités, I mean. Merde, mais cela pourrait être un problème!”

“It could become, how you say, big problème social, big bad news for them if Ponies were to talk. Equestria tends to be … backwards about sexualité, always making big fuss over silly things.” Lotus added, giving her twin another elbow to the ribs for good measure when the Pony opened her mouth to speak. “Would be très gros problème if our patrons found out, perhaps bad enough we have to leave Ponyville, maybe even go back to Prance.”

“Indeed. I suspect any poor Pony who got publicly outed would be torn to shreds by the Reporters, demonized into some sort of over-sexed degenerate for publicity and impact.” Rarity muttered, tapping a hoof on the bench she was lying down on softly, and sighed as an apologetic Aloe began to give her an apparently much-needed massage. “Oh, goodness, I need this.”

“Yes, well … if I can't find a Hermaphrodite, and most importantly, keep her … is that even the right term for their gender? 'Her' identity a secret, I may have to rely upon the Spell-Scroll and cast Weeaboo's spell on a willing Pony, get the blood-work, tissue samples and … and other samples, and then cancel the spell as quickly as possible, but a natural Hermaphrodite would be best for finding out if Trixie can
be cured.” Twilight stammered, blushing as Rarity and Fluttershy began to moan appreciatively under the skilled hooves of the two Prench masseuses as the knots and kinks in their muscles were teased into relaxing.

“The question that I must ask of you, and awkward though this be, when done are all your tests and trials are done, could you share those samples with me?” Zecora pipped up, grinning broadly as every head in the room swivelled to fixate on her now. “The seed of two genders, mixed by nature in one body, a potent reagent for my potions it makes, and will make my stamina drinks the opposite of shoddy.”

“Wait, are you saying that you use ejaculate in your … eeeeeeeeeee...” Twilight's face turned into a mask of horrified comprehension, and a small, pitiful whine began to fill the room from her slack mouth.

“Zecora! That's … that's not something you should just ask someone for! It's not like ducking next door for a cup of sugar!” Rarity spat, turning bright pink along with most of the room, except for Fluttershy who had apparently bypassed that stage and had turned a solid beet-red all-over and fainted dead away.

“My house is a mess, my stock is all destroyed, a potion for fertility and stamina would earn me enough bits to get some carpenters employed!” The Zebra shot back, pointing a hoof at Rarity. “If Twilight will not share the samples, and no bits in my pocket for the taking, if the Hermaphrodites would be willing to trade, my rear I would not be adverse to shaking.”

Luna fell into a fit of coughing that sounded awfully like muffled laughter, and Twilight's whine raised in volume slightly.

“Wh-wh-what ever happened to using your hoof and sparing your treasure?” Rarity wailed, holding a forelimb over her face dramatically. “Zecora, think about your future! What if word got out you traded sexual favours for ingredients! You'd be ruined, totally ruined!”

“Not Equestrian is this Zebra, your silly-filly little tantrums about sex I do not care! In my homeland we are much less troubled about who is putting what in where.” Zecora rolled her eyes and ignored Rarity's theatrics. “If Twilight will not share the samples, my own supplies I will have to catch, but since there's no bits on my person that I can claim, so I will have to trade my snatc ...”

At this point, steam was coming out the ears of everypony in the room but Zecora and Luna, Aloe and Lotus having retreated to the doors, tails firmly planted between their legs and blushing like school-fillies as Rarity and Zecora argued over the hypothetical 'trade', with Luna shaking with laughter and levitating a limp and bright-red Fluttershy and a frozen, 'Eeeeeeeeee'-ing Twilight out of the room after the Spa-Twins.

“That was … intéressante. Uh, forgive my sister and I, your Highness, but that was … a little more than we were … it was just very ...” Aloe stammered, tail held straight now and a faint blush on her face as she and her twin led the way to the steam-rooms, leaving the arguing Ponies behind. “Please, leave Fluttershy with my sister, and I will take you to our best steam-room … then I must speak with my sister about your … your proposition, Princess Twilight. A decision like this is not to be made lightly, after all!”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeee...” Twilight replied, still frozen in shock.

“Ah, I fear the stress of the last few weeks has finally gotten to her.” Luna chuckled, feeling oddly elated and excited. It had been far too long since she had been around such Ponies, full of life and fire without the claustrophobic customs of the Nobility stiffling everything. “I will make sure that Twilight is made well-aware of any agreements or proposals when she comes back to us.”

“Comment cela pourrait-il éventuellement être pire!” Lotus muttered as she accepted the limp form of Fluttershy and carefully carried her away to some other room, while Aloe lead Luna and the frozen, “Eeeeeeeee”-ing Twilight to the rear of the massage parlour, where a row of burnished wooden doors awaited them, small porthole-style windows their only adornment, before Aloe opened the largest door at the end of the hallway, a billowing cloud of sandalwood-scented steam rushing past her.

“Your Majesties, your room. In a half-hour, either my sister or I will be back to bring you beverages or whatever else you may need. For now, relax and let the steam work its magic.” The Spa-Pony bowed low as Luna trotted past her, still levitating Twilight's rigid form like a Canterlot socialite might carry a miniature dog.

Once she was certain every last inch of the Goddess's ever-flowing tail was out of the way, Aloe carefully shut the door and forced herself to slowly walk back down the steam-room hallway, rounded the corner … and bolted for the staff area, where Lotus would be tending to Fluttershy.

The Princesses' request was … highly unusual, but Aloe was certain that Lotus would agree to it. Aloe was aware that the Ponies that Princess Twilight sought were infamous for their sexual drives, and the prospect of arranging such a rendezvous, possibly even participating, made her tingle all over.

Perhaps if the two Princesses would not be adverse to making it a more … common … arrangement within the safety of Aloe and Lotus's business, to involve her and her sister in their needs, then maybe …

“Aloe. ALOE!” Aloe squeaked and jumped away, glaring at her sister who was glaring right back at her. “Déesses ci-dessus, think of where you are, and who is with us, before you let your concentration go like that! What if the Zebra had come out and see you like so?”

Flushing heavily at the direction where her sister's hoof was pointing, Aloe took a deep breath, centered herself and then tried to calm down, regretfully letting the tingle that had been so pleasant and distracting disappear from her mind and body.

“Better. Miss Fluttershy is still out cold, so if you need a cold shower, now is the time for it. I will go and see to our other guests … you did tell the déesses when we would come to talk to them, yes?” Lotus asked, unable to stop a giggle springing from her lips as Aloe went pink and 'tingly' again at the mention of the two Alicorns in their 'King-size' steam-room. “Poor sœur, all this time you have been pining, and now your heart is all a'flutter, and your mind is full of plans to take advantage of this opportunity, no?”

“And you would say no to them, sœur? To the déesse of Night, Dreams and the pleasures of the Flesh? To the déesse who has haunted my own dreams for these past years? We must acquiesce, we must, I cannot bear to think of this chance slipping through our hooves!” Aloe all but begged her sister, shifting from hoof to hoof, her best 'pleading eyes' on display as Lotus chuckled at her.

“Oui, my sœur, oui. But I am thinking we might perhaps find ourselves overwhelmed. Déesse Luna was infamous for her appetites in the old days … and her wrath when her consorts betrayed her. And nobody knows what stirs déesse Twilight's heart. Arranging this could put us in a great deal of whulp!” Lotus's warning was lost in a full-body hug from her sister, who was squee-ing so hard both Ponies were almost vibrating, before both squeaked in surprise and looked down. “Sœur! I asked that you calm yourself! What if Miss Fluttershy awakes?”

“I could say the same, ma chère sœur! Did you perhaps get a little flustered, a little trop exicted carrying the delectable Miss Fluttershy on your back?” Aloe shot back, then began wriggling in earnest, her sister gasping and holding tightly to her for precious seconds before the two separated and gave each other loaded looks. “Do you suppose ...”

“I do not think Miss Rarity will miss us for another five minutes, given how she was arguing with Zecora ...” Lotus replies slowly, flicking her tail up into the air and giving Aloe a smouldering look as she walked with an exaggerated sway to her hips towards the staff showers. “But no more than five minutes. Nous avons une apparence à maintenir, and you cannot serve in such a state.”

“Only five?” Aloe playfully whined, all but skipping after her sister, stopping only briefly to tug a fluffy towel over the comatose Fluttershy, her eyes trailing longingly over the soft curves and lovely features of the Pegasus before trotting to the showers, where the sound of water splattering on the tiles and traces of steam in the air awaited her.

And soon, perhaps, there would be more than just her sister waiting for her in that small cubicle with hooves full of body-soap and a wicked, welcoming smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeee-wha?” Twilight gasped, coughing slightly as the steam-heavy air flooded down her throat and tickled at her lungs. “Whe-where are we?”

“We are in a steam room, the … the pink Spa-Pony brought us here after Zecora and Rarity began to squabble about … about payment for ingredients.” Luna replied, trying to not burst into laughter as Twilight's face went through a range of expressions, most of them involving some blend of horror. “Truly, Twilight, after everything we have been through in the last few days, I would have thought this would not be an issue.”

“I well I guess I just … just don't think about it when we're … you know!” The smaller Alicorn spluttered, flustered, and hid her face behind her wings. “But at least I know whose … stuff … is in my mouth! Zecora sold me a crate of stamina-potions for some study-binging sessions a few days before I ascended and now I can't stop thinking about what was in the potion!”

“Truly?” Luna asked, leaning back and taking a deep breath of the steam-filled air, trying not to burst out laughing at the expression on Twilight's face.

“Luna, the last few days have been the only time I've ever, erm, 'gotten off'. Sex and all this … stuff, it's all still so strange to me and I ...” Twilight's babbling was cut-off as Luna's eyes snapped open and her hoof reached out, pushed through her tremblings wings and covered the purple Alicorn's mouth.

“Wait, my apologies, Twilight, but what? You mean to say you do not, what is the term Ponies use nowadays, hoof it?”

“Uhm … no? I kinda can't, since Spike is there all the time. And sex seemed to be something bad, something to be ashamed of, after what I did to Celestia when I fought her … her toy as a Foal, so I never really experimented past ...” Blushing, the Alicorn made a vague movement towards her loins with a hoof, before folding herself into her wings again. “It didn't help that I was under observation all the time by the Royal Guard for my own safety, so I never knew if or when somebody would be on the other side of a wall or watching me in the library...”

“So you mean that that night was your first real experience with an orgasm?” Luna muttered, mentally kicking herself. The bout of rutting that the Sympathy had forced on them had been some of the most intense sex she'd ever had, and Luna had never been shy about being intense in the bedroom, but now Luna came to the horrific realisation that Twilight thought every orgasm had to be so intense, because she'd never reached a peak before that night.

“Well … yes? I mean, it was the first time I actually, uhm, finished, I guess.” Twilight replied from within the 'safety' of her wings, then giggled. “Are we supposed to do, uhm, 'that' when a Mare orgasms?”

“The squirting? I believe some mares do, but most never do that. I know I don't … and I wish I had known you did before you got me in the eyes that time.” Luna replied softly, taking another deep breath of the steam and moving slightly away from Twilight and extending her wings fully. “Twilight, move away a little and extend your wings for as long as you can. Let the steam work its way through all of your feathers, it will help loosen any old feathers or dead skin.”

“But I've only had wings for a … oh ...” Twilight began, only to extend her wings fully and given them a shake and have half a dozen feathers fall out.

“Pegasi, and Alicorns too for that matter, will shed feathers when we are stressed. And today's events definitely count as stressful: Our r-r-relationship being outed by your friends, attacked by a Succuponi and almost being corrupted by her and then having to face the media's hounds with next to no training.” The Lunar Princess explained, shaking her own wings and noting with annoyance a number of her own feathers coming loose. “And tomorrow we have some of Celestia's Royal Guards attaching themselves to us at the hips. This may be the last time we have any privacy at all.”

“Okay, in that regards … Luna, I have a question for you, and I'm fairly sure it's almost as awkward as what I asked the Spa Twins. Our … this pro … the Sympathy. It was caused by us having magically compatible auras, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And the Sympathy had decayed the spell you used to control your Estrus, which in turn is making our resonance even worse, to the point where both of us are now in Estrus because of the Sympathy linking us, correct?”

“Yes … where are you going with this?”

“Well … I'm starting to feel the effects of the Estrus very strongly, so I need to know how you're not sending every Stallion within twenty feet of you into a rutting frenzy! I'm getting dizzy, sweating heavily and … and I'm getting itchy down there. I'm afraid I'm going to go into full Estrus in the middle of the street and cause a scene ...”

“Oh. Oh, I see.” Luna replied, colouring slightly. “Well, I assume that Celestia and our niece, Cadence, were able to teach you about … courtly matters and the finer points of Alicorns?”

“Yes, the tail is always down, measured steps, addressing the various Noble Houses and Ambassadors from the various nations, never allow anyone to take a sample of my blood or body or accept any gifts with even the slightest magical aura, but I don't remember any lessons on how to not become the center of a pile of frantically-humping Stallions!” The newest Princess stammered, her wings twitching back to her body before Twilight took a deep breath and forced them out again. “Is there some way to neutralize the hormones we produce during Estrus? Some sort of spell or potion that you are using that you could share with me?”

“Not …not really. But Twilight, you should not be in any danger. As an Alicorn, our, ehrm, scent during Estrus is very difficult for normal Ponies to be affected by, let alone detect. Part of our Ascension to a higher state of being also brings its own challenges, namely that our bodies are no longer strictly … compatible with normal Ponies, hence why my Sister has had a handful of children over the millenia. Your hormones may affect the Ponies around you, but right now I suspect they would not have nearly the same effect that normally plagues Stallions around an in-season Mare. That said … it would perhaps be best if we had only female bodyguards for the time being, in-case I am wrong.” Luna explained, waving her wings as she spoke and sending waves of fresh air over the brazier, the flames leaping high for a moment before the steam returned and muffled the dancing tongues of heat once again. “Perhaps it would be best to contact Celestia again and bring our concerns up with her. As the first, and oldest, of the Alicorns, she would probably know more about this than either of us. And Cadence too should probably be brought up to speed.”

“I'm not sure I'm happy baring all of this to Celestia, let alone my sister-in-law, but … I need advice, and I don't want to put you in a place where you are brought down because we're … together.” Sighing, Twilight's wings drooped, feathers bending as they fell against the polished wooden bench of the steam-room. “I wonder what Faust was thinking when she made Ponies go through Estrus. Everything itches, we don't think straight, its all so … illogical!”

“Twilight, you are not saying that right now you're … itching?” Luna asked, a smile creeping across her face as she regarded the other Alicorn just a wing-span from her in the steam-room.

The very private and secure steam-room, with a good twenty minutes before the accomodating Spa-Ponies came back to check on them ...

And the best way to rid one's self of Estrus was to engage in coitus, after all ...

Twilight's grumbled affirmative was lost quickly in a startled Meep, and then soft whispers of endearment and noises of pleasure as Luna's wings and flowing mane and tail engulfed the smaller Alicorn, pulling the two together into a bundle of feathers and condensed night sky as the steam thickened and filled the air.