Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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I'm not dead yet!

I would like to apologise for the lack of updating, no job + running out of money + up-coming christmas holidays has severely killed my desire to do pretty much anything other than look for a new job. That said, writing does make me feel better, so I'll try to get these chapters up and running as fast as I can.

Again, my apologies for the lack of updates, and thank you for sticking around this long!

CHAPTER 29

“You know, I’m sure some Mares dream about situations where they have their homes filled with Stallions, but I know I don’t.” Twilight whispered, annoyed as she used her magic to levitate herself and the shopping over the dozing Pegasi in the upper floors of the Golden Oaks library, her ears flattened against the noise of dozens of snoring Stallions. “I just want everypony out of my home so I can get the spells I want put back into place and go hide in my bed until this all blows over, and we can go back to the usual brand of craziness.”

“Oh trust me, Twilight. You would not believe the dreams I’ve seen that involved large groups of Royal Guardsponies and the over-active minds of young Mares.” Luna giggled, her longer legs allowing her to pick her way through the ‘crowd’, Spike riding ‘shotgun’ on her back. “But in all seriousness, my sister did mention that they are likely to remain unconscious for several hours yet, even if you were to have a brass band start playing right in their ears. Our best bet is to just let them sleep off their fatigue and then send them home tomorrow morning.”

“In the morning? Wait, it’s the middle of the afternoon now, how long are they going to remain asleep?” Spike asked, nervously eyeing the snoring Guards even as he plugged his ear-holes with his claws. “There’s no way anyone is going to sleep with this racket going on!”

“Ugh, I think they’ll wake up in a few more hours, but just in case, I’ll prepare some sound-barrier spells and bind them to some pillows. The physical backlash of using back-to-back Recovery-spells over a couple of hours is one thing, but we’re going to need a lot of food for when they wake up, they are going to be absolutely starving.” The purple Alicorn stopped and turned around mid-air, outlined in the sparkling glow of her magic. “Speaking of which, are you sure it was a good idea to send Trixie out with Applejack and Rainbow Dash to get the food? I mean, Trixie might … you know, potentially be able to infect other Ponies with hermaphroditism, let alone the whole ‘latent fiend’ theory?”

“No, it was not a ‘good idea’.” Luna admitted as she picked her way down the hallway over the snoring Guards and passing the floating Twilight. “But you will need time to lay the groundwork for the library’s enchantments, and having Trixie around means she’d probably be able to see the ‘root’ spells you were using to anchor the system, which could allow her to either neutralize or take control of the entire network. I would rather risk having her out in public with the current measures in place than risk having her here, where she might potentially be able to work mischief against two Princesses.”

“Also, do not forget that collar she is wearing is tied to a powerful scrying-crystal manned by several powerful Magi within the Royal Guard. She is being monitored constantly, and the instant Trixie uses any spells, they will be alerted to exactly what she is casting, and if it violates the terms of her ‘parole’, they will ‘remind’ Trixie of her boundaries by electrifying the torc. She will instantly lose control of her body due to the muscle-spasms from the shock, and thus any spells she is casting will be undone before they are finished being cast.” The Lunar Princess explained as she finally managed to get over the last of the Guards and into the Library’s bedroom, putting her bag of ‘shopping’, half of the anti-magic-core deadbolts, onto the floor with a grateful sigh. Even levitating the cloth bag the deadbolts had been placed into had been a burden with the anti-magic cores of the deadbolts leeching away her magic. “And with Trixie firmly distracted by manual labour, we are free to turn this room into a Hermaphrodite-free zone.”

“Ha ha, yeah, just wonderful. You guys get to sleep up here where it’s safe, but I’ve got to room with Trixie in the basement. I’m just a baby Dragon, but I’ve got to sleep in the same room as your creepy stalker and her magical penis? Why can’t we just stuff her in the spare room and be done with it?” Spike muttered unhappily as he jumped off Luna’s back, claws still in his ear-holes to block out the thunderous snores of the sleeping Pegasi in the hallway.

“Because we need the spare room for Luna to ‘sleep in’.” Levitating herself into the room, Twilight gave a half-hearted shrug and dropped to the floor, landing on her hooves and dropping her share of the deadbolts to the floor. “Even if Luna will be spending most nights in here with me while we work out ways to deal with the Sympathy, the spare room becomes our … err …”

“Plausible deniability plan?” Luna offered, rolling her eyes as Twilight blushed and Spike made gagging noises in protest.

“Yes, that, our plausible deniability plan in-case somepony figures out what is going on.” The new Princess stammered, levitating a pillow off her bed and whacking Spike with it repeatedly as he hammed up his gagging routine. “Not that I’m worried, or that I don’t want Ponies to know, just … just not now. Not after today. We’re apparently evil incarnate already from stopping a Fiend from rampaging through the town, I don’t want to add ‘Surprise, we’re lesbians!’ to the list of things the rest of Equestria is going to hold against us, especially not without having the chance to explain to my family first …”

“Indeed. I begin to wonder how Celestia will react if we go to her and say we wish to continue our … our relationship after we master the Sympathy.” Luna murmured, cheeks heating up. There, I said it. Relationship. We're in a relationship. Luna thought with nervous pride to herself as both Twilight and herself turned beet red from blushing.

“Huh? You think Celestia would be against it?” Spike blurted out as the two Alicorns wrangled the anti-magic deadbolts out of their packets, the magically ‘slick’ cold-iron bolts difficult even for their potent magic to grasp.

“Not out of a belief that a union between two Mares, or two Stallions for that matter, is morally wrong, but she … Celestia has some fairly … one-sided views on a Princess’s duties. Bearing foals to continue to ‘unify’ the Three Tribes being one of the views she feels very strongly about. Even if Twilight and I went public with our relationship, Celestia would still insist that we take on Royal Consorts to keep the Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies united through the Royal Bloodlines.” The Lunar Princess explained, using her magic to manipulate a pair of screw-drivers to secure the deadbolt-mechanisms to the door and door-frame. “She would support us with all her heart … but we would still be expected to fulfil her version of our ‘duties’ as Princesses of the Realm above all else.”

“Y-you mean Celestia is expecting me to marry one of the Nobles?” Twilight gasped, pale under her fur, her wings drooping. “They’re all so …”

“Self-Centered? Snobby? Shallow?” Spike offered helpfully, and was rewarded with another pillow to the face.

“I always thought I’d fall in love, get married and live like one of those Mares in the books Celestia hides behind her treatises on Gryphon history. Not have my husband picked for me because they belonged to some fractious political-group and Celestia needed to bribe them into behaving.” The purple Princess confessed, looking and sounding like somebody had just dumped a bucket of ice-water over her. “Celestia hasn’t said anything about this! Not once!”

“No doubt she was waiting for you to find some calm in your new life before dropping this on your shoulders.” Extending a wing and drawing Twilight to her, Luna sighed as she felt Twilight’s wing reciprocate the gesture. “You can refuse, Twilight, but you of all Ponies know how hard it can be to say no to my sister when she is on a roll about Equestria.”

“What about that Flash Sentry guy? He’s kinda cool, and in the military … and he’s working under Shining Armor, so he’d be pretty much boned if he got you upset. Instant husband on a leash.” Spike said, laughing as he mimed being choked by an invisible leash.

*Whack* went another pillow as it was applied with great vigour to Spike’s head.

“NO.” Twilight thundered, glaring at Spike. “I would sooner shack up with the mangiest Diamond Dog in Equestria than so much as let that … that greaseball touch me again.”

“Hey, it was just a suggestion. If you have to end up with somebody you don’t like, at least make sure it’s somebody who can’t push you around!”

*Whack*

“I know you thought he was ‘cool’ Spike, but that Stallion is nothing like … he’s not like the Flash we met back on Earth. Their Flash was a gentleman and very ‘cool’. Our Flash is most certainly not!”

“Flash Sentry is not … likely to be on the short-list anyways, Twilight. Your list of potential Royal Consorts would be limited to Nobles of influential families, military heroes of similar calibre to your brother, or some other Pony who had the political clout to warrant tying a Princess of the Realm to them.” Luna explained, trying to remain serious as Twilight battered a complaining Spike to the floor with pillows. “War heroes, famous scholars, influential actors, anyone who might reach the hearts and minds of the common Ponies and influence them towards the ideal that Celestia has strived towards for centuries.”

“I draw the line at actors. You know most of the famous ones are part of that silly alien-cult.”

“You mean those Ponies who say Aliens created Ponies? They’re crazier than Lyra and her Human-theories … but we have met Humans, sooooo …”

“We crossed realities through an ancient mirror, and we could provide irrefutable scientific proof that Humans exist. They believe Aliens lie dormant beneath every other rock and that their quack-theory ‘programs’ can awaken the Alien spirit within all Equines. They’re crazy. And BFFs with some of the meanest lawyers in Equestria, for that matter.”

“Hey, what about when you couldn’t identify what Pinkie’s ‘Pinkie-Sense’ was? You had a few moments of ‘quack-theory’ science then!”

“Oh, I figured out that Pinkie is actually using Chaos-magic. Pinkie literally taps into Discord’s powers, through a method I still haven’t fully mapped out, to teleport and use her prescience abilities. I couldn’t quantify her abilities before because I had not had the chance to meet and study Discord and his nature until then.”

“As thrilling as this discussion is … the deadbolts?” Luna suggested as Spike disappeared beneath yet another pillow, a veritable mountain of them surrounding the much-abused Dragon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Trixie was not aware manual labour was a part of her … parole conditions.” The pale-blue Unicorn muttered as the farm-pony adjusted the bulging panniers on first Trixie, then Rainbow Dash, before hooking her fine, muscular self into the wagon …

No. BEHAVE. Trixie has finally found Mistress Twilight again, that fiend that betrayed Trixie’s trust is gone, and even if things are not … exactly as I had hoped they would be, I am still at her side. Trixie sighed and restrained her grumbling to a purely internal state.

Between her hind-legs, Trixie could feel her shaft throb in its sheath as her eyes trailed over the firm, muscular body of Applejack, and the lean, slender form of Rainbow Dash.

How many times had she furtively coupled with Mares before or after her shows, claiming her curse was a spell she had cast just for them? Easing the impossible lust that hovered forever at the corners of her mind, an insatiable need for … something. Releasing inside a Mare, or any other female helped, as did taking the rare Stallion who found her form appealing, but it was never quite enough.

Coupling with one of her own ‘kind’, such as the treacherous Sunset Shimmer, gave even greater relief, but Trixie had always felt compelled to move on, even if she did leave her ‘kindred’ lovers ways to track Trixie down if they ever fell pregnant to her seed. As much as she wanted to enjoy the pleasures that the curse gave her, she wanted her family to be free, to not have to live furtive lives trying to find mates who could accept their physical conditions, or having to take mates from within their own family to find that acceptance …

Maybe Twilight could help, using her great magic and intelligence to find a way to free Trixie from her family’s curse. How grateful the Lulamoons would be to be finally released from the curse that had gripped them for generations.

And if she couldn’t … a dark part of Trixie’s mind whispered that maybe an immortal Pony Princess might be able to keep up with her in bed. Twilight knew the ‘perfected’ spell to turn a ‘normal’ Pony into a Hermaphrodite. Would she be open to casting it upon herself?

Trixie entertained the fantasy of bearing Twilight’s foals for precious seconds before she felt the ‘Tuck’ spell begin to fray from the ‘pressure’ she was applying, and frantically re-inforced the spell, blushing as she felt the immediate response from Canterlot, half a dozen cold, analytical probes that invaded her privacy, detected her intent, and left just as quickly.

As quick, clinical and impersonal as the response was, she couldn’t help but feel violated that a dozen powerful Magi had just witnessed her try to hide a boner.

It was very … humiliating. At least nopony around her had paid any attention to the quick flash of her horn, or the way the golden torc had glimmered. But the thought that even using telekinesis, the most basic and widely-used ability of Unicorns, would draw the attention of a dozen powerful mages, many of whom Trixie had fantasized about becoming apprenticed to over her career as a magician, was frustrating, and emotionally crushing.

This is all Sunset’s fault! If Trixie had managed to come to Twilight on her own, then none of this would have happened! The blue Mare fumed, kicking viciously at a stone and sending it flying down an alleyway, and wincing as she felt her new ‘tail’ lash in anger, making her backside sway as the added weight of the new appendage pulled her center of gravity off-balance. Mistress Twilight is so close, yet now Trixie wonders if she will ever be able to show Mistress how much Trixie adores her!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sir … is this wise? The Princess is still in a foul mood.” Flash Sentry asked quietly, the Pegasi following a whole body-length behind Shining as the two Royal Guards walked down the hallway towards a small sitting-room in the ‘Royal Quarters’ of the Crystal Castle, Shining levitating a tray of Cadence’s favourite treats above his head.

“You know Flash, you’re the last Pony who should be advising anyone on how to handle an upset Mare.” Shining replied tartly, giving his subordinate the ‘evil eye’, to which the Stallion merely grinned cockily. “My sister nearly burned my ears off with the details of the disaster you called a ‘date’. The only reason I haven’t busted you down to latrine duty for the rest of your natural life is you’re a damn good soldier, and I need you to help train the Crystal Ponies how to fight, so they can raise an army to protect themselves.”

“She just needed to loosen up. And I was more than willing to loosen her up … if you know what I mean …”

“Flash … that’s Celestia’s own personal student? My LSBFF? Your commanding officer’s family-member? You are really going to have this conversation with me?”

“You feel like training all those Crystal Ponies on your own?”

“I think if I asked Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and forwarded them some of the complaints I’ve received against you from the Crystal Pony maids, I’d get your replacement fairly quickly.” Shining shot back, taking a grim satisfaction in how quickly the arrogant smirk disappeared off of Flash’s face. “I don’t care who your cousin is, Flash, or how popular she is with the top-brass, not even her support would stop Princess Celestia from busting you down to trainee for the rest of your life if she felt the Royal Guard was tarnished by your antics. The only reason I haven't made that call is because you’re marginally more useful here than scrubbing latrines at boot-camp, and I honestly believe that under all that machismo and sleaze, there may actually be an honest-to-Faust decent Stallion.”

“Now, if you’re done pushing your luck with me, take your position with Adamant at the door while I try and convince my wife that causing a diplomatic incident won’t help convince Celestia that Chrysalis isn’t to be trusted.”

Stone-faced, Flash took his position on the other side of the doorway to the Royal Quarters, his eyes fixated on some point ahead of his, the picture of a perfectly stoic guard, and Shining sighed and opened the door, raising his special magical barrier-spell ahead of the tray moments before a pillow flew through the air, aimed squarely at the tray, or him, he wasn’t sure which.

“I’m not hungry.” Cadence said in her best ‘Court’ voice, another over-stuffed pillow floating next to her head. “I just wish to go to Canterlot, convince Princess Celestia this is madness and see that Changeling exiled from Pony lands again.”

“As much as I agree, sweet-heart, you have to admit that having Chrysalis under observation, where we might learn more about the Changelings and their physiology, is worth the risk.” Shining replied in his best ‘husband’ voice, and noting that the second pillow was most certainly aimed at his head this time, but had much less force behind it than the first, before locking the door shut behind him.

“She’s too dangerous, Shiney. The last time she was in Canterlot, she took over your will, tricked everyone into believing she was me, and would have conquered the capital if Twilight hadn’t shown up and thrown her plans out the window. How do we know that she hasn’t left some sort of command hidden in the minds of the Ponies she came into contact with? You, me, maybe even Celestia herself. Nobody knows just what a Changeling can do, and empowered with … with the love she stole from you, she was able to burn Celestia’s horn …” Cadence sighed and sagged against the arm of the couch, turning to stare out the window. “I cannot believe aunty Celestia is being so … so reckless. Chrysalis is probably laughing at us all now, probably faking her injuries with her Hive sneaking into Canterlot right now while we try to do the right thing and play diplomats.”

“I would hardly call having the entire Fourth Circle of the Magi-Corps being ferried by train to take her into custody reckless.” The white Unicorn stallion said softly, putting the tray down onto the nearby table, fiddling until he felt the locking mechanisms secure the tray to the table’s top before going to his wife’s side and nuzzling the back of her head. “Nobody likes this, sweet-heart. Not me, not you, and not even Celestia herself, I’d imagine. But you're correct in that we don’t know anything about the Changelings except what we learned when we fought them. They can change shape, they are skilled fighters and they can produce enough resin to immobilize our guards with just a few minutes, and it remains sticky and malleable by their hooves, but not by ours.”

“We have no idea how they reproduce, how they actually ‘feed’ off of love-energy, what their social customs are, how long they live or how long the average Drone can hold one shape.” Shining pointed out as his wife sagged and leaned against him. “We know that the Queen can hold a form indefinitely, but if the Changelings can only hold their new ‘forms’ for a few minutes or hours, it will help us identify infiltrators a lot easier. And Chrysalis has apparently come seeking protection from her older sisters.”

“And so we’re going to ignore everything she's done to hurt us, and help her out of a problem she probably caused herself.” Cadence muttered darkly, her feathers ruffling with her frustration.

“Not exactly, and most certainly not for free. She offered the information on her people and their homeland in exchange for sanctuary, for political asylum. If she doesn’t give up the information that we want, we just toss her back across the border and claim she was violating the terms of her surrender, and it's all perfectly legal and palatable to both our own people and our neighbours. She made a critical mistake there … and the scuttlebutt from the Capital is that Celestia has authorized the release of the rest of her regalia, after fighting some sort of fiend today in Ponyville. With the regalia to act as a focus for her powers, Celestia is going to be far, far more formidable than she was during the wedding, when she was surrounded on all sides by Ponies who could have been caught in the backwash of her power.”

“Wait, her regalia? Fiend in Ponyville? Honey, what … no no, start at the beginning, is Twilight safe?”

Three more trays of food and an hour later, Cadence stood and stared out the window as Shining finished his ‘report’ to her.

“So Sunset Shimmer found another way back to Equestria from the other world, and in doing so sidestepped the counter-measures we had put on the mirror … and has somehow become a Succuponi in the process.” The pink Princess of Love sighed, levitating the last cookie off the tray and nibbling on it thoughtfully. “You’re sure that Twilight wasn’t hurt by the Fiend?”

“No … but she is a Princess now. Aren’t you all … immortal? As in, all but unkillable except to specific items such as Death’s Scythe and other artefacts from the Age of Gods?” Shining asked, feeling a little bit worried at how often his wife was asking if Twilight being injured. This was more than just sisterly concern … it was bordering on the morbid. "I mean ... it's Twilight. She's so strong these days, and then she became an Alicorn ... shouldn't we be more worried about the collateral damage she could do, rather than the fiend?"

“We Alicorns are Immortal, but only to a certain extent. Immortals like Alicorns are all but indestructible, invulnerable to anything but objects infused with specific types of magic or rare and exotic substances, but during the first year of our new ‘life’ as an Immortal, we are ironically more vulnerable than we were as Mortals. This is a state secret darling, so please do not share it with anyone, but during the first year of their Ascension, all Alicorns, or Immortals for that matter, are very vulnerable to outside influences. While physical wounds will heal very quickly, we can still starve or suffer illnesses that might linger on and affect us when our bodies ‘stabilize’. It is entirely possible to be an immortal cripple, unable to die and unable to escape the pain.” Cadence turned and gave her husband a wan look. “Worst still, our powers are very much in flux, and any ‘pollutants’ that we are exposed to are co-opted into our bodies and made a part of whom and what we will become as Immortals. It was why Celestia kept me at her side in Canterlot almost constantly when I first Ascended and why she came down so hard on the Ponies that tried to take me away from her, or to get interviews or ‘samples’. Anything I was exposed to could have affected me, and altered my purpose. I could have become the Alicorn of Lust, or the Alicorn of Pain, or even Illness, depending upon what magical influences I was exposed to during that time. I was lucky in that Celestia and the Royal Guard were so attentive, as there was several attempts on my life during that period of time, all of them with very potent mystical weapons or exotic poisons.”

“I read the reports, but a lot of the files were classified beyond even my level, for Celestia’s eyes only.” Shining murmured, walking over to sit next to his wife and take hold of her hoof, while she in turn put a wing around his shoulders and pulled herself in close. “So that’s why you were so obsessed about Twilight being injured.”

“Yes. If the Succuponi had been able to ‘infect’ Twilight, we could have had a Demonic Alicorn on our hands. An Immortal Fiend, an Alicorn of Evil, with control over the very fundamental properties of Magic.” The Princess of Love shuddered and leaned heavily against Shining, almost pushing him over as all her weight came to rest on him. “Could you … could you do that, Shining? Seal away your own sister for all eternity and condemn the world to slowly lose its very magic, because of something done to her by somepony else? I don’t think I would be able to, and now Celestia has allowed Chrysalis, a shape-changing ‘Queen’ who is known to be hostile to our nation with magic strong enough to repress the wills of Ponies, right into the heart of the Capital right when Twilight is at her most vulnerable.”

“I just hope this doesn’t end in disaster for all of us.”