The day, which had not started off very well, had gone terribly wrong and had somehow become worse. This morning, there had been a much awaited eviction notice. Most of his possessions had been repossessed as he had been unable to pay his bills. Everything in life had gone wrong.

Malesco Vino had been a young man living on the edge.

And then a situation happened that had somehow made everything worse. While he was out looking for work, a homeless fellow with strange red and yellow eyes had asked him for change. Malesco honestly had nothing to give, but the homeless guy became rather insistent about getting something. Malesco had felt pretty bad about the whole event at that point, because he was going to be homeless as well, rather soonish. An argument had started. Malesco had protested that he had no change to spare.

Unsatisfied with the answer, the homeless fellow announced that perhaps Malesco needed some change, and, before Malesco could protest, the homeless fellow had snapped his fingers.

And Malesco was now here, wherever here was. Ahead of him was a village of Tudor style homes with odd thatched roofs. He was feeling very confused and disoriented, and his head ached slightly.

Rubbing his head, he walked forward towards the strange village, crossed a bridge, and froze when he saw three little somethings. They resembled little horses, but were impossible colours for equines. One was white, and he could swear that it had a horn. One was yellowish, and had a giant hair bow. And one was orange and had wings.

He froze and stared.

The three odd little creatures stared back and a mutual exchange of wide eyed staring took place. Eventually, the three little creatures decided the exchange was over and then began to scream as loud as they could, leaving poor Malesco feeling very, very confused.

The little equines split and other equines, slightly larger and every bit as garish, began to gather. They looked at him curiously.

He raised his hands, trying desperately to look innocuous, and failed utterly. At the sight of his raised hands, the crowd began to shriek in alarm, and many of them took off running, the herd of small equines stampeding in all directions to escape.

And then, a new challenge presented itself as one of the strange equines charged at him, wearing a cowboy hat and wielding a lasso. A cowboy hat and a lasso… He watched in wide eyed awe as the tiny horse moved in with surprising speed, the lasso flying through the air, circling around him, and then suddenly going taught around his ankles. He fell and hit his head as the rope jerked, landing with a thump, and the entire world went dark as he felt the rope tighten around his legs.

---

“I think it, whatever it is, is coming around.”

The voice seemed educated and cultured.

Malesco realised he was cocooned in rope. He was completely unable to move, and began to panic. He was also blindfolded.

“Please, remain calm, we do not want to actually hurt you, but we had to make sure that you were not going to hurt us.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Malesco announced to his captors, his panic building. “Look, I am very claustrophobic and these ropes are going to set me off and I really don’t want to hurt anyone but in a few moments I am not going to be myself anymore and you are going to get a bad impression of me!”

Just as the panic began to really sink in, the ropes were simply gone and Malesco felt a weird tingle all over his skin. His hands free, he slowly reached up and removed his blindfold.

He was staring eye to eye with a strange little horse creature that had both wings and a horn. He felt light headed. Sitting on the floor, he was eye level with the tiny horse, and the two beings stared at one another. Malesco turned away.

“Why did you turn away?” the strange winged horned little horse asked.

“It is rude to stare…” Malesco replied.

“Hmm,” the tiny horse replied.

“I mean you no harm,” Malesco promised. “Look, I am pacifist. I don’t believe in violence, and I am a great big chicken.”

“You do not look like a chicken,” the strange lavender coloured equine responded.

“Well no…”

“I was trying to make a joke,” the equine interrupted. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I think we can be friends.”

Malesco looked up. “Twilight Sparkle?” he asked, looking thoughtful. “My name is Malesco Vino.”

“I told you he’s harmless!” a shrill voice chirped. A second later, Malesco found himself pinned to the floor, being squeezed almost to death by a little pink equine that threatened to crush him. He squirmed and tried to get away, but that only made the little pink horse squeeze harder.

Finally, she squeezed too much and Malesco farted.

The little pink horse let go and stared for a moment, and then fell over on the floor giggling madly, pointing with her hoof and then guffawing.

“Well, he ain’t that much different than us I reckon,” an orange little horse said. “Pinkie Pie, why’d you have to go and squeeze the breeze out of him?”

Malesco recognised the orange horse. “You roped me,” he cried, rubbing his head. “I fell down and hit my head because of you!”

“You scared my sister something awful,” the orange horse replied. “And call me Applejack.”

“What are you?” Malesco asked.

“Why, we’re ponies,” Twilight Sparkle replied.

“And there is a dragon around here too, but he is off doing errands,” Applejack said. “The one that squeezed you near to death is Pinkie Pie.”

“D-d-d-d-d-dragon?” Malesco stammered.

“I am Rarity,” a little white pony with a horn said. “And the dragon is mostly harmless, don’t worry.”

“Harmless dragon,” Malesco muttered.

“Call me Rainbow Dash,” a little blue pony with wings and a rainbow mane said, striking a pose.

“And that is Fluttershy,” Rarity said, pointing at a butter yellow pony with wings who was hiding behind her pink mane.

Before Malesco could take it all in, he was assaulted once again by the little pink pony, who began to crush him in another hug. “We’re so happy to meet you!” she cried, squeezing with alarming intensity.

“Pinkie Pie! He’s claustrophobic!” I don’t think you’re helping!” Twilight Sparkle cried in exasperation.

Pinkie Pie let go and looked very disappointed. “I am sorry,” she said, looking heartbroken. “I get a little carried away sometimes,” she admitted.

“I don’t know what to do to make you feel better,” Malesto confessed. “I almost reached out and began to pet you, but then I thought that might be insulting.”

“Aww, you’re sweet! You worry about hurting somepony’s feelings!” Pinkie Pie chirped, bouncing in place.

“What are you?” Twilight Sparkle said bluntly.

“I am human,” Malesco replied.

“Huh, I wonder if Princess Celestia knows about what you are,” Twilight replied. “You seem harmless, so I am not going to confine you.”

“Thank you,” Malesco answered, folding his legs and sitting cross legged.

“Now we need to figure out what to do with you!” Pinkie Pie quipped.