I leaned against the railing of the train’s fuel car, watching the steep landscape roll downward into the bottom of the canyon. I rubbed my face and brought my camera up. Snap, snap, two new pictures of this unseen land.

        I let out a short sigh and let my camera fall against my chest, “Well...Transylmania...I’ll find a way to make you appealing, one way or another.” I looked back at the passenger car, watching the workers and soldiers get ready for their new positions under the new count.

        I didn’t bother heading back inside, content enjoying the cold mountain air and the passing scenes. It was beautiful, fog shrouded mountains, lush coniferous green at the base of the canyon and a pale sunset cresting over the peaks.

        “Human…” a royal voice snapped me out of my wonder, “who are you?”

        I turned around, carefully watching my step and facing a dark navy mare with a sweeping mane. I looked her over, spotting the shoes and the tiara. “Oh, Princess Luna, sorry,” I bowed slightly, “I uh...was just taking some pictures.” I turned to valley once again, “It’s beautiful out here.”

        Luna stepped next to me, overlooking the scene as the train puttered along. “Indeed. We chose this land for our subjects, due to said vista.”

        I took a deep breath and held onto the railing. “I get it. It’s really nice up here.” I could feel us start to climb higher into the mountains. A thin layer of moisture coated the train as we pushed through a cloud. I checked my camera, taking another picture as we pushed past the fog, revealing a beautiful orange sky, white peaked mountains and a beautiful reflection off the clouds below.

        A strange sound caught my attention. Swinging around I caught Luna raising the moon in the east. I snapped a photo, catching her with the crescent moon just at the tip of her magic covered horn, “Outstanding….”

        Luna popped her eyes open, spotting me with my camera in hand, “Excuse me?”

        I tucked my camera down and spun away, “Nothing.”

        Luna walked over, standing to my side and craning her neck to look me in the face. “We heard you speak.”

        I relented, sighing softly and turning on my camera, “Just a picture. I guess I should’ve asked permission,” I found the shot and held the camera for her to see, “But I didn’t want to risk losing it.”

        Luna stared hard at the screen, taking it with her magic and bringing the strap against the back of my neck. I felt myself forcibly nuzzle her neck as she pulled the strap hard, “Hurk- Luna, choking!” I pressed my hands against her neck and tried to pull away, “Luna, can’t breath!”

        The princess ignored me, turning the camera and yanking it against my throat, “This picture pleases me!”

        I slid my fingers under the strap and pulled it away from my neck, “Well that’s great! I--” I was cut off as the strap pulled me tight against Luna’s neck.

        Luna finally let off, bumping me with her flank and into the railing, “Tell us, what is your name?”

        I caught my breath, rubbing my neck and leaning against the railing, “Jesus...I...bollocks.” I flubbed my words, leaning over the edge of the train and staring down into the foggy canyon, “Clark. My name’s Clark.”

        Luna pressed her body against me, causing me to stumble into the edge of the railing, “We love your work, Clark the human!”

        I grunted softly as I pushed against the railing. I managed to hook the heel of my shoe against a bar and push Luna away. “Dear god. I saw my death!” I rubbed my chest where the railing was digging in.

        Luna cocked her head, “We do not understand.”

        I rubbed my chest and stood tall, “Just a joke. I mean, you nearly strangled me to death with my own camera, but...yeah...a joke.”

        Luna scrunched her mouth up, “We are sorry, we don’t find it humorous.”

        I let out a defeated groan, “Yeah, it was pretty bad.” I rubbed the back of my neck and leaned my back against the railing, “So…did you need something else?”

        Luna gave me a harsh look. “We were not aware we were disturbing you.”

        I scratched my head, “You uh...you weren’t, but you’re a princess, I figured you’d have something better to do.”

        Luna shook her head, “We shall ride the train like our subjects. There is no use arriving early.”

        I rubbed my mouth as I stood upright, “I guess….” Things grew quiet between us. I turned towards the rising moon as the train’s lights flipped on. “So...you like...pictures?”

        Luna nodded, turning away from the rising moon to look at me, “We have been known to enjoy art, yes. But your, pictures, are rather intriguing as well!”

        I looked through my camera. “Well...do you wanna see some more?”

        Luna smiled wide and nodded, “We would be delighted!”

        I held the camera for her and started showing her photo after photo. “Man...I forgot I had some of these!” I flipped to a picture from Mali, “Whoa! I thought this one got ruined!”

        Luna cocked her head, “Strange land.” She brought her hoof up and tapped the screen, “What is this orange?”

        I laughed nervously, “That was a grenade.”

        Luna nodded, “I do not know what this, grenade, is, but it looks spectacular.”

        I laughed a little, “Well no one got hurt, broke my camera, but nobody died. So...I guess it was kinda spectacular!” I let my later peter out, hurrying along my photos. “Sweden...Mexico...F-Finland….” I flipped past it quickly, skipping over the mass of bodybuilders, “Ehem, so...the Finns like to work out.”

        Luna levitated the camera to her eye. “We love the snow--” She stopped dead and fell into a harsh grimace. “We...are in your pictures.”

        “Huh?” I pressed my head against her neck and looked at the screen. She was looking at a picture of last years winter wrap up. She was presiding over the ceremony in Baltimare. “Oh yeah, that was a fun day!”

        Luna started giggling softly. “We are glad you enjoyed it!”

        I nodded and started flipping through the photos. “I have a lot since I came to Equestria. There’s one from Ponyville’s election, the building of the parliament--”

        “We are there again!” Luna squealed, prancing in place and laughing jubilantly, “We love this machine!”

        “Uh...that’s--” I was cut off as a hoof wrapped around my neck, “Jesus!”

        I put my hands between her hooves and my neck as she pulled my against her chest. “More! We demand more!” she stated, laughing like a schoolgirl and swinging me left and right.

        I felt my legs thrown left and right as she hugged me, back legs and wings the only thing keeping her upright, and her forelegs the only thing keeping me from flying into the canyon. “No! Holy shit!” I stared down into the moonlite void, praying above all else to touch the ground again. “Luna, stop--”

        Luna let go, throwing me over the edge of the fuel car. “Ooooooh my god!” I screamed like mad as the wind rushed past me. “I’m gonna die! Holy shit I’m gonna--” I stopped dead as something hit me from below, knocking my wind out and leaving me to the mercy of gravity.

        “Clark the human, you must be careful!” Luna’s soft voice reassured me of my less than dead status. “We wish to have more pictures!”

        “Oh my god...my heart.” I grabbed my heart as I dangled above the canyon. “Luna why!?”

        Luna just shushed me and plopped me down on the catwalk on the fuel car. She fluttered down, leaving me to sit on the metal grate. “Clark, we wish to have a picture taken!”

        I just laid on my back, holding my camera to my chest. “Luna, you just scared the dick out of me.”

        Luna looked down at me. “Well insert the dick back into yourself! We require your skills!”

        I laid my arms out, slowly picking up my camera and pointing it at her smiling face. “I don’t even care.” I took a few pictures, letting the camera fall against me as the flash ended.

        Luna let out a pleased cry and yanked the camera upwards, pulling me along by my neck. She let out a giggle and nuzzled my cheek. “We love them! More!”

        I just hung limp and put the screen back to the gallery. “Pictures...just...enjoy.”

        Luna stayed quiet, slowly flipping through the pictures and laughing whenever she found one of her. “Clark the human, we enjoy your company!”

        A cream maned bat pony peeked out of the engine. “Hey...so...Princess, human dude, we’re coming into the station.”

        Luna yanked me upright. “Excellent!” She straightened me out with her magic. “Take a picture as we arrive!”

        “Luna pl--”

        “We want a picture!” She whined, prancing on her hooftips. “Please?!”

        I stepped back, looking over the tantrum throwing mare. “Oh geez...well...you make it hard to say no.” I brought my camera up, snapping a picture of the dimly lit town behind Luna. “Uh...okay...so can I-” I decided to be blunt, “I need a stoic pose, something I can sell.”

        Luna frowned hard, “This does not sound fun.”

        “Luna...you almost killed me.”

        She pouted hard, turning her nose to the town and presenting a proper profile. “Perfect!” I snapped a few pictures, one in particular catching her overlooking the castle in the bright moonlight. “Yes! That’s bank right there!”

        “What is bank?” Luna walked over and looked at the picture. “W-- Myself, I, am bank?”

        “Uuuuuh, sure.” I set my camera down and grabbed the railing. “This is gonna- Bu-bu-bup--” I fumbled my words as something warm pressed against my neck. It was unmistakable, the soft warm pressure of a kiss.

        I slowly turned around, face burning slightly. “Uh...did you just--”

        Luna leaned down in a flash, pecking me on the nose and turning away. “You find us, attractive. We enjoy your pictures, and…,” she ran her tail along the underside of my chin, “We would be happy to provide you with more.” her tone was heated, low, just sharp enough to show her excitement.

        I just stood frozen, a conflicted erection half up as I turned towards the town. “I uh...wow….”

        Luna walked down the steps of the train, swinging her flank for me, “We shall see you again, Clark.” With that, she flared her wings out and galloped through the sky.

        I fell back against the fuel tank, staring at the navy alicorn bolt off into the distance.

        “Duuuude.” A masculine voice broke the chirping of crickets. The train driver popped out of the engine and looked at me, “Makin’ a move on a princess?” he nodded slimily, “Aim high man, aim high and score big.”

        I glared at the pony, “I didn’t, make a move, you dick! I just- ...oh god I was flirting wasn’t I?”

        The driver just nodded, “Heck yeah dude, flirting with the lunar princess! You got balls man, you got balls.” he started snickering as he turned away, “Be careful man, otherwise those balls are gonna land right in her hoof…. In more ways than one.”

        “Whoa what!?”

        “Nothing dude, just...be careful man. There’s a reason no one courts the lovely lady Luna,” the driver quipped, heading into the engine and closing the door.

        I stared at the door to the engine and pushed off the tank. “Court...who says the word court anymore?” I stepped off the train, landing with a heavy thud. “What the hell does court even--” I stopped dead and tripped as a long maned bat pony poked their muzzle into my business.

        The bat pony peered at me from under her flowing yellow mane. “Viscan ira, krossa nova….” the mare trotted around me, judging me like a piece of meat, “Krossa di’ran karak?” She flicked her tail against my chest, “You like?”

        “Whoa!” I crawled back a step, “Take it easy!”

        The mare cocked her head, spilling her mane to the side and revealing a beautiful set of bright purple eyes. “Krossa amara soval’ik”

        “Uuuuuuh,” I brought my camera up and took a picture, “Yes.”

        The mare backed away from the flash, “Tovara!” She started shouting, drawing a small crowd around her.

        I looked around as the mare rubbed her eyes. “Nope!” I knew a brewing shitstorm from a mile away, and I was going to get myself to the action quick. I ran to the workers as they unloaded building supplies and preserved food.

        I snapped a few photos as boards of lumber were unloaded, large stones unloaded by a train crane. “Gold,” I muttered to myself, watching the yellow hard hats get to work. It was amazing, old meeting new in the pale moonlight.

        I went to work, taking pictures and documenting the first contact with Transylmania in years. It was amazing, the locals started to avoid me but the landscape and buildings was enough to really sell this town as something amazing.

        I went along, eventually bumping into Luna again, “Excus-- Clark the human!”

        I laughed nervously, “Hey, Luna the princess...what’s up?”

        Luna looked to the workers. “Progress! We have spoken with the count, supplied him, and shall be giving a speech on the dusk of tomorrow!”

        “How-” I suddenly realized I hadn’t booked a hotel, “-great…. Hey Luna, is there any hotel in town?”

        Luna just laughed, “In the town of Transylmania? Nay, not to our--” she stopped herself, growing a cat like smile, “Clark the human requires shelter?”

        “Oh god--”

        “We, Princess Luna of the Night, do formally request your company and skill for the morning!” She grew a lewd look on her face. “Perhaps we can make use of your camera for more, personal matters.”

       I backed away slowly, walking across the empty lot they were unloading the supplies in.  “Ha- ha- no...I’m uh...I’ll sleep in a cargo container.”

        Luna jumped back with a look of shock on her face. “What!?”

        I scratched my head, making sure not to trip on the various tools and supplies that littered the ground, “It’s not you…. I just, I have work to do, and getting tangled up with a royal seems like a good way to get caught up--”

        “Auh!” She huffed angrily, “But we wish for your company!”

        “That’s...great. But I’m really not--” I felt myself lift off the ground. “Whoa, what!?” I could see Luna’s face bearing down on me.

        “We offer you companionship, and you scorn us!? So be it!” She pushed me back, throwing me across the unloading area and into a pile of boards.

        I sat dazed for a bit, trying to regain my thoughts. Unsure of my physical health, location and where I landed. I tried to pull myself out of the mass of broken boards and plywood. All I could do was fumble and squirm in my wooden pit.

Luna ran over, looking at me. “We- we apologize!” she plucked me from the pile and sorted me out, standing me upright. “We saw you, and we- we were foolish!”

        I held my head and fell onto my ass. “That’s okay! I don’t know what up is either!” I muttered hazily. I got onto all fours and stood. “I’m gonna go...sleep in the engine.”

        I limped off, clawing my way up the steps and into the train’s engine. The bat pony natives stared at me with hungry eyes as I fumbled with the door.

The metal door swung open with a loud creak, the driver sitting on his cot and looking through a magazine. He shot upright and looked at me wide eyed. “Dude, I was smacking it!”

        I ignored him and fell face first against the hard metal floor. “I just gotta sleep this off...pictures...morning.” I closed my eyes, letting the headache overtake me and leaving me to sleep off the pain.

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