Chapter 1 Alt Title: I Goddamn Hate Creepy Merchant Guys

Okay. So. Where do I start?

Well, my name is [REDACTED]. Wait a minute... that's not right.

Hold on a minute.

Well scrap.

Okay then, since this Fourth Wall Story Editor won't let me use my real name, I suppose I'll just have to use the one I've been using ever since I got to this place.

*Ahem* You may call me... Skiá.

...Okay, yeah no. That's a dumbass name and I am not standing for it. Or...floating as is more appropriate at the moment.

Screw it, my name is Umbra, which is better, I guess.

Anyways, so right now, I'm in Equestria. Current location: a small magical bubble inside Canterlot's dungeons.
I suppose I should tell you how I, a former human, got into Equestria in the first place, right?

Well... it goes like this:

Rewind the Clock: 6 hours ago

My friends and I were at Comic-con for my very, very, very late twenty first birthday party. Like, literally seven months after my actual birthday in December.

I was dressed as Dr. Facilier's Shadow, my friend Seth as the good doctor himself, and my other friends were dressed in a mish-mash of other fandoms and costumes including Adam as Vladimir Lenin, Ben as Goku, Theresa as a frickin' cat of all things, and Bill as Tobi.

Yeah, kind of an odd group, I know.

As we entered, we all split up and promised to meet by the food court at noon.

And Seth and I patrolled the 'con, me mirroring his every move.

After a while, Seth left to use the bathroom while I waited for him. As I waited for him to finish, I spotted a strange stand right across from the bathrooms that appeared to be an entire prop shop.

Did I mention the creepy guy dressed like the merchant from Resident Evil 4 manning the booth?

Curious, I decided to take a look while I waited. Once inside the confines of the strangely spacious shop, I noticed some other patron wearing the most badass Transformers: Prime Soundwave costume I have ever seen. Taking a moment to appreciate his style, I noticed that he was apparently buying a Laserbeak prop.

Whatever.

I was about to leave; none of the props were very useful to my black-on-black-on-black costume, but then I noticed this one prop that I just couldn't bring myself to ignore: a plain, black mask with painted on white eyes. I didn't know what I was staring at; it was just so... perfect, despite being less impressive than that Laserbeak prop, or that weird sword in the corner.

I knew just then I had to have it.

So I paid for it and I was just putting it on when Seth got out of the bathroom. It was pretty easy to put on, though I had to take off my awesome black top-hat to strap it on.

As I strapped it on, I noticed a group of neckbeards harassing these two guys, one of which was also Tobi and the other... Yoshimitsu? Cool

Well, I just finished putting on the mask when Seth came out of the bathroom, and I waved him over with a, "Dude, check out my new mask! Isn't it awesome?"

And then everything started spinning around; the next thing I knew, I was falling through what looked like the mother of all paradoxes.

My last thoughts as I blacked out were, 'Hah! I knew my multiverse theories were right!'

And that's how I got here...well almost.

I woke up to the screams of wind flying past my ears as I fell out of a friggin' portal in the sky towards a...shining white castle on a mountain?

Shit. I was headed on a crash course straight at Canterlot Castle.

Here's hoping the landing doesn't hurt too much.

POV Shift: Third Person Omniscient

Twilight Sparkle, newly crowned alicorn Princess, looked up as the sky darkened as a giant disk of shadow briefly appeared and spat something out, something headed straight for the castle.

As the object approached, everypony on the castle grounds, nay, Canterlot became aware of a shrill screaming noise, faint, but growing louder.

"FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!"

CRASH

"...ow"

POV Shift: First Person- Umbra's View

Shit, that hurt. Okay, so I'm fine, given that I just crashed into some very solid marble at approximately 300 miles per hour (Screw Kilometers, it's confusing converting from miles. Damn you American Education System!), I was surprised to still be alive.

As I glanced over myself to check for any injuries, I noticed that, though I looked mostly the same, I was now...flatter looking, and not as reflective. Like I was a...shadow.

Shit. Not this. Anything but this.

"Fuck, Fimfiction was right. Goddammit all."

And that's when everything went to Hell, because Princess Luna decided to bust through the wall just then, flanked closely by Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, all with their horns charged and glowing, probably ready to annihilate me at a moment's notice.

"HALT STRANGE CREATURE! WHAT BUSINESS HAVE YOU INVADING OUR CITY AND ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OUR CASTLE!?"

ow. owowowowowowowow.

Shit, that really hurts.

Oh. it appears as though I've begun to flatten myself out on the floor like a proper shadow.

WAIT, WHAT!?

Ignoring the trio of angry Princesses, I promptly turned tail and jumped off the...balcony? yeah, balcony, that I landed on and proceeded to flee like a little bitch.

"Oh shit shit shit shit shit!"

And that's when Rainbow dash appeared out of nowhere, punched me through the face, and passed through me like I wasn't even there.

Weirdest day ever.

As I made good on my escape, I inadvertently made my way to a cliff.

Noticing the cliff, but not wanting to be stuffed in a cell, I jumped and discovered something new:

I was capable of unassisted flight, but I didn't have much control.

"WOOHOO!! WOO– OH SHITSHITSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII–"

Thud

"Goddammit not again"

Fucking cliffs screwed me over.

End Chapter 1

Author's Notes:

My second story ever, and it's a LoHAV/H story. Am I being overly ambitious?
Nah